The Potter Legacy: The Story of Lily and James
by Chelles
Summary: James, Lily, and their friends have managed to survive Hogwarts. Are they ready for what lies beyond? Sequel to Before Harry: The Marauders' Tale. PreHBP Completed!
1. The Beginning

A/N: Here we go! I sincerely hope that this story lives up to your expectations! Thank you for reading and reviewing, and for continuing this journey with me! Enjoy!  
  
I still don't own Harry Potter.  
  
The Beginning  
  
"Are you sure you have everything?"  
  
"I must. Moony checked under every bed twice."  
  
Remus smiled. "At least ONE of us is willing to make sure that nothing gets left behind."  
  
James sighed. "You know, this is the first time that we've had to be seriously concerned about leaving things behind. I mean, in the past, we could always just assume that anything we left would be here for us next year."  
  
Sirius looked pensive. "It's weird, isn't it? The idea that there won't be a 'next year?'"  
  
"There's always a next year," Peter said as he dragged his trunk across the dormitory. "We just won't be spending it the same way."  
  
Sirius looked at him, and sighed. "I still wish you were coming to live with us."  
  
"No more than I do," Peter replied. "But my mum's right. Dad's really ill, and she can't take care of him alone. After all that they've done for me, I owe it to them to move home and help her."  
  
"It's not going to be the same without you," Remus said. "You'll have to come and visit all the time."  
  
"I will," Peter promised with a grin.  
  
"When are we going flat hunting?" James asked. "We need an address to give Peter so he can visit."  
  
"We can start tomorrow if you want," Sirius replied.  
  
"Good plan!" James exclaimed. "Remus, why don't you stay at my house with us tonight? That way we can get an early start tomorrow."  
  
Remus laughed. "When have you two ever started anything early?"  
  
"Well, there's a first time for everything," Sirius grinned. "How 'bout it, Moony? Nothing's more entertaining than a night spent at the Potter manse!"  
  
Remus laughed again. "I'll check with my parents when we get to the station."  
  
"Fair enough," Sirius replied. "Do you want to come, Peter?"  
  
"Yeah, even if you just want to stay the night, that would be fun," James coaxed. "I know that Hetty will have an incredible dinner for us when we get home!"  
  
Sirius laughed. "What he means by that is that Hetty will have made all his favorite foods."  
  
"She makes a fair share of yours, too," James grinned. "What do you say, Wormtail? Are you in?"  
  
"I'll check with my parents," Peter said noncommittally.  
  
"I should owl mine to let them know that you guys might come over," James said, digging a piece of parchment and a quill out of his trunk. "They'll want to know how much food they need to have."  
  
Sirius grinned. "Very considerate of you. You've grown up, Prongs. The old James wouldn't have thought to do that."  
  
"I guess growing up happens no matter how much you fight it," James grinned as he wrote his quick letter. "There. Now Mum, Dad, and Hetty will know what's going on." He sealed the letter, and pulled Owl out of his cage. "Sorry, buddy," he said. "Please take this to Mum and Dad."  
  
The owl hooted softly as James tied the letter to his leg. James patted his head, and Owl took off through an open window.  
  
"We'd better get going," Remus said, glancing at his watch. "We don't want to miss the train."  
  
James grinned. "Like it would leave without us."  
  
The boys levitated their trunks, and made their way down the staircase for the last time. Lily, Dana, and Olivia were already in the common room, standing amid the swarms of underclassmen. James' face lit up when he saw Lily. She noticed him with his friends, and ran across the common room.  
  
"I got a job!" she cried.  
  
"Lil!" James cried, picking her up and swinging her around the common room. "That's incredible! Congratulations! Doing what?"  
  
"Writing for the Daily Prophet," Lily giggled as he set her down again. "I just got their owl about a minute ago."  
  
"That's what you wanted," James enthused. "What department?"  
  
Lily made a face. "You're going to go crazy."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I'm writing for the sports section."  
  
James laughed out loud. "Are you serious?"  
  
"As a heart attack," Lily giggled. "I guess it's a good thing I'm friends with you and Olivia – without the two of you, I wouldn't know anything about Quidditch."  
  
James laughed again. "Well, this calls for a celebration."  
  
"Really? Do you want to celebrate with me?"  
  
"Of course I do. Hey! The guys are coming for dinner at my house tonight. Do you want to come? That way we can all celebrate together."  
  
"I'll have to check with my parents. We usually go out for dinner the day I get home."  
  
"Another time, then."  
  
"Yeah, that's probably a good idea."  
  
James nodded slowly. "Lil – when will I see you again?"  
  
Lily's eyes widened. "I don't know."  
  
The portrait hole opened, and Professor McGonagall walked into the common room. An unnatural hush fell over the room. She looked around at the now- quiet students, searching for someone.  
  
"I need to see Potter, Black, Lupin, Pettigrew, Evans, Morgan, and Alexander," she stated loudly.  
  
The seventh years walked to her, all with expressions of confusion and concern on their faces. How could they all be in trouble on the day they were to leave this school forever?  
  
"There you are," she said as they approached. "Professor Dumbledore wants to see you. Bring your things with you."  
  
They picked up their trunks, and followed her wordlessly to Professor Dumbledore's office. She gave the password, and they all stepped onto the moving staircase. Lily looked at James with questions in her eyes. He shrugged.  
  
"Ah, here are my Gryffindors," Dumbledore smiled as they filed into his office. "Please, sit down."  
  
James' eyes widened as he saw Laura already seated. Suddenly, their reason for being there became clear. He glanced at Lily, and knew that she was now aware as well.  
  
"I won't keep you long," Dumbledore said once they were all seated. "I know that you have a train to catch, but there is one issue that we need to resolve before you leave Hogwarts."  
  
Sirius glanced at James. This was it.  
  
"Just after Christmas, I made an offer to you," the Headmaster said, touching his fingertips together. "I offered all of you membership in the Order of the Phoenix. I told you at that time that I wanted you to think it over until the end of the year. Well, obviously, this is the end of the year. Today, I need your final decisions. You've had a good deal of time to think this over, so now, I must ask you: Will you join the Order of the Phoenix?"  
  
Silence fell over the group. James looked straight at Dumbledore. Yes. He would join Dumbledore's Order – his army against Voldemort. He opened his mouth to give his answer when another voice spoke.  
  
"Yes," Sirius said, his eyes determined. "I'll join, Professor."  
  
Dumbledore smiled at him. "How unlike your family you are, Mr. Black."  
  
"Thank you, sir," Sirius replied.  
  
Dumbledore nodded, and took a quill and parchment, holding them out to Sirius. "Sign this agreement. It is a magical, binding contract."  
  
Sirius nodded, and took the quill in his hand. "I understand, sir."  
  
Dumbledore nodded again, watching Sirius write his bold signature on the paper. As Sirius took his seat again, James stood from his.  
  
"I'll join, Professor."  
  
Dumbledore smiled again, and held the quill out to James. "Your parents will be so proud," he whispered.  
  
James smiled slightly. Yes. His parents would be very proud.  
  
Remus and Lily stood at the same time, both ready to sign. Olivia and Dana looked at one another, and lined up behind the others. Laura took a deep breath, and stepped up behind them. James and Sirius, who had already sat down, looked across at Peter.  
  
An odd expression crossed his face. Was it fear or sorrow? He took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. His hands shook as he stood up. Why was he doing this? How could Dumbledore's small group defeat the Dark Lord, the one who had killed his Kathleen? Then, as he thought of Kathleen, resolve passed through him. He would do this for her – to avenge her death.  
  
Once they all had signed, Dumbledore put the parchment away. He smiled at them.  
  
"Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix," he said. "I will contact you in two weeks to begin your training. If you have any questions before that time, please don't hesitate to get in touch with me."  
  
They realized that they were being dismissed, and rose from their chairs. As they began to gather their things, Dumbledore spoke again.  
  
"James – a word, please."  
  
James nodded, and returned to stand in front of the Headmaster's desk. Professor McGonagall herded the other students out of the office, then returned to join their conversation.  
  
"James, Professor McGonagall has informed me that she has advised you to look for a position in the Ministry. Have you pursued that career path?"  
  
James sighed. "To be perfectly honest, sir, I'm not sure what department I'd like to work in. I've considered applying to be a writer for the Daily Prophet."  
  
Dumbledore studied him for a moment. "You wanted to work with Miss Evans?"  
  
James had the decency to blush slightly. "That wasn't my only motivation," he mumbled.  
  
"Have you applied?"  
  
"Not yet."  
  
He nodded. "James, I have a suggestion, if I may."  
  
"Any advice would be appreciated, sir."  
  
He leaned forward in his chair. "I'd like to place you in the Ministry. Professor McGonagall is certain that you would do well there, and the Order is in need of an inside ear in the Department of International Magical Cooperation. This department has become increasingly important in the Ministry as Voldemort's power has spread outside our country's borders. However, because none of our members work in that particular department, we are missing out on vital information as to what exactly is happening abroad."  
  
James considered his words. Would he want to do that? Could he handle a desk job in the Ministry?  
  
Dumbledore studied James again, looking at him as though he could see the younger man's thoughts. "If you would be willing to work in the Department of International Magical Cooperation, I will put in a good word for you. You will, of course, begin at whatever level the department deems appropriate. You will perform the tasks you are assigned by your superiors in the Ministry, as well as the missions you are assigned by the Order."  
  
James looked at him with wide eyes. He quickly realized that this would be far more than a simple desk job. Dumbledore had chosen him for this?  
  
"It's going to be difficult, Potter," Professor McGonagall spoke up. "You'll be dealing with two completely different supervisors, whose commands won't necessarily always be the same, or will even contradict one another. You'll have to please both the Ministry and the Order. Do you think you can do this?"  
  
James frowned slightly. Could he?  
  
"I think you would be well-suited for this work, James. Are you interested?"  
  
James grinned. Dumbledore's vote of confidence was all he needed. "My mum's going to be thrilled that I've found a job."  
  
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "May I take that as a yes?"  
  
"Yes, Professor, you certainly can."  
  
***  
  
They made their way to the last compartment of the train without speaking. They all knew where they were going. Lily looked at all the underclassmen as they walked past. They were talking excitedly about their plans for the summer, and the classes they would take upon returning to Hogwarts. She sighed, wanting to tell them to enjoy it while they could. Seven years had passed so quickly.  
  
Once they were all seated, Sirius broached the topic that was first in all their minds.  
  
"What did Dumbledore mean by 'training?'"  
  
"I don't know," Remus replied. "It sounds like it could be intense."  
  
"I don't think it could be any worse than Auror training," Olivia said. Like Sirius, she had been accepted into the Auror Academy. "My brother said the Academy is brutal."  
  
Sirius grinned. "Nothing we can't handle, right?"  
  
"Right."  
  
"It's not worth worrying about now," Dana said. "We have to wait for Dumbledore to contact us before we'll know anything."  
  
"Good attitude," James grinned.  
  
"What did Dumbledore want to see you about, James?" Lily asked. They hadn't had time to discuss the conversation as they rushed to reach the train and their compartment.  
  
"He offered to help me get a position with the Ministry," James said. "He wants me to work in the Department of International Magical Cooperation. He said I'll do both Ministry and Order work."  
  
"Did you take it?" Lily asked.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
She smiled, and kissed his cheek. "Congratulations! Your parents are going to be thrilled."  
  
"Yeah, I know." He looked around at everyone. "I just wish the rest of you were going into the Ministry, too."  
  
"Dana and I could work for the Ministry," Remus pointed out.  
  
"Yuck," Dana said, wrinkling her nose. "I'm not becoming a Healer just so I can give politicians a clean bill of health. I'd far rather work at St. Mungo's."  
  
Remus glanced at her. Unlike him, Dana was thrilled to begin training to become a Healer. Attended classes with her would do him good.  
  
"Well, Sirius and I will be in the Ministry eventually," Olivia said.  
  
"But not right away," James countered.  
  
"I will," Laura said quietly.  
  
"Really?" James asked eagerly, turning to her. "What department?"  
  
"Magical Justice. I'm starting as an assistant to a prosecutor, but I'm going to train to become a prosecutor as well."  
  
"Brilliant!" Remus exclaimed. "When did you find out?"  
  
"Just this morning," Laura beamed. "I told Dumbledore before you lot got to his office. He was really excited – he wants me to do Order work there, too."  
  
"This is incredible!" Remus kissed her cheek. "So you'll be living in London, then?"  
  
"I'm not sure yet," Laura said. "Where are you guys going to live?"  
  
"We aren't sure yet," Remus said.  
  
"We're going flat hunting tomorrow," James said.  
  
"So are we," Lily said, indicating Olivia and Dana, who were going to be her roommates. "We tried to talk Laura into living with us, but she said she wants to be on her own."  
  
Laura giggled. "I'm not trying to be rude, and you know that I love you girls, but if you had grown up with as many siblings as I did, you'd really want to live alone, too."  
  
"You won't want to be alone all the time, right?" Remus asked, putting his arm around her shoulders.  
  
"No, not all the time," she replied, flushing slightly.  
  
Knowing that Laura wasn't all that found of public displays of affection, Remus removed his arm from her shoulders, and glanced at his watch. "Don't we have some prefects' meeting today?"  
  
"In about half an hour," Lily replied. "We just want to say job well done, and to thank everyone for all their hard work this year."  
  
Remus grinned. "Well, since I have the basic content, can I skip the meeting?"  
  
James laughed. "If you'd rather spend your time with Laura than with us, just say so."  
  
"Well, I didn't want to hurt your feelings," Remus laughed.  
  
"I hereby absolve you from going to the meeting," James laughed. "Go snog Laura somewhere. We'll cover for you."  
  
"Oh, you know I'll be there," Remus grinned. "I couldn't miss the last meeting. Besides, Laura has to go too."  
  
"Oh, did you both need meeting absolution?" James laughed.  
  
"They'll be there," Lily said, giving the two boys a warning look. "Come on, James. We should get down there to get ready."  
  
"All right," James agreed, standing with her. "We'll see you guys down there."  
  
"See you later," Remus replied. Laura smiled at them.  
  
"You've got this under control, right?" James asked as he and Lily walked to the prefects' compartment. "I've never been to one of these end of the year prefect meetings."  
  
"You'd never been to any of the meetings we've held before this year, and you've done an excellent job at every single one," Lily replied. She pushed the compartment door open.  
  
"No one's here yet," James commented as they walked into the prefects' compartment.  
  
"Did you expect them to be? They're probably all off with their friends."  
  
"How was I supposed to know? This is the first time I've done this!"  
  
Lily laughed. "All right, I know you're inexperienced, Potter. You don't have to keep going back to it."  
  
James grinned, and put his hands on her waist. "Actually, I'm sort of glad we're alone."  
  
"So am I," Lily whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck. "God, James, I don't know how I'm going to handle not seeing you every day."  
  
"Don't talk about it right now," James said softly, putting a finger against her lips to silence her. "Don't talk at all."  
  
He lowered his lips to hers, drawing her even closer. Lily sighed softly against him as they sank into their kiss. All questions and fears were chased from their minds.  
  
***  
  
"I swear, this trunk gets heavier every year," James grumbled as he dragged two trunks off the train. He held his trunk with one hand, and Lily's with the other.  
  
"Maybe it's carrying two of them that's a problem," Sirius said with a laugh.  
  
"Shut it."  
  
"If you insist."  
  
They walked through the barrier together, and instantly spotted the Potters. Mrs. Potter hurried forward to greet them, a beaming smile on her face.  
  
"Welcome home!" she exclaimed, hugging both boys. "Where are your friends? Didn't you say they were spending the night with us?"  
  
"They have to talk to their parents," James replied. "I need to take Lily her trunk, Mum. I'll be back in a minute."  
  
"I have to take Olivia hers," Sirius added.  
  
"All right. We'll be waiting right over there."  
  
James and Sirius nodded, and made their way to where Lily and Olivia were greeting their families. The girls' parents were chatting like they were old friends. Apparently, they had met before.  
  
"Here you go, love," James said, setting Lily's trunk down next to her.  
  
"Thanks, James," she grinned.  
  
"Good to see you again, James," Mr. Evans said, shaking his hand.  
  
"You, too, sir," James grinned.  
  
"How are you, James?" Mrs. Evans asked, smiling at him.  
  
"Fine, Mrs. Evans. How are the plans for the wedding coming?"  
  
"Well enough," Mrs. Evans replied. She launched into a description of what exactly had been completed, and what remained to be accomplished.  
  
Behind her mother, Lily winked at James. She had told him how excited her mother was about Petunia's wedding. Asking about it was a stroke of genius. If her mother had had any doubts about him before, they were surely vanishing as she spoke.  
  
Not ten feet away, Sirius was attempting to befriend Olivia's parents. She smiled as she held out her hand to pull him closer to her family.  
  
"Mum, Dad, this is Sirius Black, my boyfriend," she said.  
  
"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Alexander," Sirius said, holding out his hand to shake theirs. "How are you?"  
  
Olivia had to hand it to him: Sirius knew how to be polite when the situation demanded it. She smiled at him, knowing how much her parents valued proper manners.  
  
"Just fine," Mr. Alexander said, shaking Sirius' hand rather reluctantly. "I trust you're treating my daughter well?"  
  
"She deserves to be treated like an angel," Sirius replied with a smile.  
  
Olivia gave him a warning look. He was laying it on a bit thick. He caught her eye, and quickly amended his behavior.  
  
"Olivia's very special to me, sir," he said. "I'd never do anything to hurt her."  
  
Mr. Alexander nodded, but the doubts lingered in his eyes. Mrs. Alexander gave him an appraising look.  
  
"What do you plan to do with yourself now that you're done with your education at Hogwarts?" she asked.  
  
"I've been accepted into the Auror Academy," Sirius replied. "I'll be starting classes in August."  
  
"Like Olivia," Mrs. Alexander murmured, giving her husband a pointed look.  
  
"When did you decide to become an Auror?" Mr. Alexander asked bluntly.  
  
"It's what I've always wanted to do," Sirius replied. He knew very well what the man was implying. "This isn't a decision I've made to follow Olivia," he added. "It's something that means a lot to me, and something I wouldn't go into without careful thought. Mr. Potter has given me a lot of guidance."  
  
"Harold Potter?" Mrs. Alexander asked, raising her eyebrows.  
  
"Yes."  
  
She exchanged a glance with her husband. Sirius looked over at Olivia, who managed a slight smile. It could be going a lot worse.  
  
"Well, Sirius, we do need to get Olivia home," Mrs. Alexander said. "I'm sure you understand."  
  
"Of course," Sirius replied, his veneer of politeness never faltering. He took Olivia's hand, and squeezed it gently. "I'll owl you tomorrow."  
  
"Right," she replied. "Have fun at the Potters'."  
  
"Oh, I will."  
  
"Come, Olivia," Mrs. Alexander said, holding out her hand for her daughter. Her husband had already started walking away with Olivia's trunk.  
  
Olivia smiled at her mother, then turned back to Sirius. "I'll talk to you."  
  
"Right. Bye."  
  
"Bye."  
  
Sirius watched her walk away with her mother. He exhaled deeply. He was really going to have to work to win over her parents. He glanced over at James, who was kissing Lily's cheek. He smiled, and stood back as she walked away with her parents. Sirius closed the distance between them.  
  
"It's tough to say good bye with their parents right there, isn't it?"  
  
"How did things go with the Alexanders?"  
  
"Not well," Sirius said grimly. "I dropped your dad's name. Sorry about that."  
  
"He won't mind. Why did you mention him?"  
  
"They were asking me about Auror training – sort of implying that I'm only doing it because Olivia is. I mentioned that your dad had given me advice about it."  
  
"My parents and the Alexanders are friends," James said, nodding his head. "I'm sure that helped your case."  
  
"I hope so. They really don't trust me." He sighed. "Thank goodness Liv is moving in with Lily and Dana. If she wasn't, I don't think that I'd ever be able to see her again."  
  
"Well, you never know. Lily and Dana might not want her hanging out with the dangerous Sirius Black," James teased.  
  
"Oh, sod off."  
  
James turned serious again. "Do you want me to have my parents talk to them? You know, tell them that you aren't like the rest of your family?"  
  
"I don't know. I'd kind of like to win them over myself." He grinned. "But if it gets too bad, I'll be begging for their recommendation."  
  
"There you guys are!" Remus came toward them with a grin. "My parents said I can stay tonight, and go flat shopping tomorrow."  
  
"Brilliant!" James exclaimed. "Did they say when you have to be back tomorrow?"  
  
"No. They just said to let them know how late I'd be."  
  
"Perfect," Sirius grinned. "Have you seen Peter?"  
  
"He was arguing with his parents about it a minute ago," Remus said.  
  
"That doesn't sound promising," James said. "You know how he is about arguing."  
  
"Yeah," Sirius said darkly, "he always gives in."  
  
As if to prove Sirius right, Peter came toward them with a dejected expression. He sighed as he approached. Why was he suddenly always being left behind?  
  
"Hey, guys," he said. "I'm sorry. My parents want me to come home tonight."  
  
"That's all right," Sirius said quickly. "You'll come to visit us once we're established, right?"  
  
"Of course," Peter replied.  
  
"We'll have wild parties, and get you drunk so you have to stay overnight," James grinned. Peter's miserable expression was enough to temper James' good humor. He sighed, and ran his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry you can't live with us, Peter. And I really wish you could come tonight for dinner. It would have been fun."  
  
"I know," Peter replied. "I think that my parents are punishing me, in their own way, for joining the Order. Well, not my mum. She seemed excited about it, even if she didn't really want to show it. It's my dad who's going to be a problem." An ugly expression crossed his face. "It's like the old man got sick just to spite me."  
  
The other three boys exchanged a look, unsure of what to say. Remus cleared his throat.  
  
"You told them you've joined, then?" he asked.  
  
"I told them Dumbledore had asked," Peter replied. "I'm going to tell them that I joined tonight."  
  
"James! Sirius!"  
  
"That's my mum," James said. "I guess we'd better go. We'll owl you as soon as we have an address."  
  
"Good," Peter replied. "You aren't getting rid of me this easily!"  
  
"We wouldn't dream of trying," Sirius grinned. "Talk to you soon, Wormtail."  
  
They all bade Peter farewell, and returned to James' parents. For the first time since Christmas, James got a good look at his father. The transformation was amazing. No longer was he the powerful Auror who had played Quidditch with James in the back yard. He looked troubled, battered, and years older. James and Sirius both stopped short, and looked at one another. Remus nearly ran into Sirius, and gave them both a look of confusion.  
  
"Come on, boys," Mrs. Potter said quickly. "The car's waiting."  
  
***  
  
James was up long before his friends the next morning. He had planned it that way. He climbed out of bed, and wrote a quick message to Lily, wishing her good morning. He hoped she would have a chance to write back before Owl took off again. Maybe he should buy her an owl of her own. He could call it a "congratulations on your new job" present. Yes, he'd do that. Once Owl had soared off with the note, he went downstairs.  
  
His mother was in the kitchen, as he had known she would be. Mrs. Potter always got up with her husband in the morning. Once he had left for work, she sat in the kitchen with a cup of tea and the Daily Prophet. When James came down, she would get his breakfast.  
  
When he was a little boy, he had always gotten up early, and they had shared special time together before he had to leave for school with his Muggle friends. As he had grown older, he had taken to sleeping in, and they had lost their early morning bonding time. James was ready to rekindle it. He needed some answers.  
  
"James!" Mrs. Potter exclaimed as he walked through the kitchen door. "You're up early. I didn't expect to see you boys for at least an hour. Are you practicing to enter the work force?"  
  
James grinned. His parents had been thrilled when had told them that Dumbledore was helping him find a job. "Not exactly. And I'm sure you won't see Sirius or Remus for awhile," he said, sitting down across from her. "I wanted to talk to you, Mum."  
  
"All right," she replied with a smile. "About what?"  
  
"Dad."  
  
Mrs. Potter looked at him sharply. "Now, James, I don't want you to worry –"  
  
"I am worried, Mum! Dad looks terrible! What's wrong with him? Has he been to see a Healer?"  
  
"He's an Auror, James. They have to be checked by Healers once a month to continue with their jobs."  
  
"Then why hasn't anything been done for him?"  
  
"Because nothing's wrong! Nothing a Healer could fix, anyway."  
  
"Mum, please. I'm not a little boy anymore. I've joined the Order, for goodness' sake! Tell me what's going on!"  
  
Mrs. Potter sighed. "It's just everything that's going on, James. You've all been so protected at Hogwarts. You have no idea of what's happening in our world."  
  
"We read the Prophet every day at school."  
  
"You've gotten the Prophet's version of what's going on," Mrs. Potter said, waving her hand to dismiss his words. "That's only the beginning of what's actually happening. And your father is fighting on two fronts, James. He's doing his work as a Ministry Auror, and his work as a member of the Order."  
  
James shook his head. "He's been doing that for years, and he's never looked this bad as a result. He looks – he looks OLD, Mum."  
  
"It's gotten harder," Mrs. Potter said quietly. "Every day that the battle rages, it becomes a bit more of a weight on our shoulders."  
  
Suddenly, James remembered that his mother was a member of the Order, too. He looked at her critically for the first time. Had she always had those crows' feet near her eyes? Had her brow always displayed those creases? Had her shoulders always been slightly stooped? Had those shadows always lurked in the back of her eyes?  
  
"I'm glad you and your friends have joined the Order, James," she said. "Your father and I are both so proud of you."  
  
"I know. You said so last night."  
  
She nodded. "I'm also glad because I think that younger people are exactly what we need. We need your enthusiasm, your commitment, you innocence, and your strength. Without new, younger recruits, the Order may fail."  
  
James' eyes widened. "The Order can't fail, Mum!"  
  
"It's a fact of war, James. One side has to lose."  
  
"Voldemort can't win, Mum. The Order has to find a way to prevail. If Dumbledore and his soldiers can't defeat Voldemort, what hope is there for us?"  
  
"What hope indeed," she murmured. "What hope indeed." 


	2. Becoming Adults

A/N: Whoa! I'm completely overwhelmed by the response to the first chapter! Now I really feel like I have something to live up to! I hope you like this chapter as much! One thing, though – I've screwed up my own timeline in terms of when Sirius and Olivia are starting their classes. I think everything flows better this way. Lo siento mucho! (I'm very sorry!)  
  
I'm also really sorry it took me so long to finish this chapter. It's a shame, but I'm letting work and real life get in the way of writing fanfiction. What am I thinking? I should know better!  
  
I don't own Harry Potter.  
  
Becoming Adults  
  
By the time Sirius and Remus walked down the stairs the next morning, James and his mother had put their rather dark conversation behind them. They realized that their time together like this was limited, and had turned their conversation to James' new job, which was quickly becoming Mrs. Potter's favorite topic. When the two visitors entered the kitchen, they found James and Mrs. Potter talking and laughing together.  
  
"Good morning," James greeted them.  
  
"Good morning," Remus replied. He took a seat next to James at the table.  
  
"Do you want something for breakfast?" Mrs. Potter asked, getting up to help Hetty find them something to eat.  
  
"I'll get it," Sirius said. He was already on his way to retrieve the juice pitcher.  
  
James laughed. "I think Sirius knows this kitchen better than you, Mum."  
  
"He should, after the amount of time he's spent in here," Mrs. Potter said with a tolerant smile. "Here, Sirius, let me help you."  
  
"I've got it, Mrs. Potter, I promise."  
  
Hetty came scurrying in with a tray of breakfast foods. "Sirs are awake!" she exclaimed.  
  
Sirius laughed. "Or maybe Hetty's got it."  
  
"She always has it," James grinned. "You're the best, Hetty."  
  
The small elf smiled. "Master James always says that."  
  
"Because it's true," James said.  
  
Sirius and Remus sat down at the table, and began to eat breakfast. James picked up a muffin, realizing that he hadn't eaten anything while talking to his mother. They ate in comparative silence. As soon as the last bit of food was gone, Hetty came in to clear the table. Mrs. Potter waved her off, and gathered the plates herself.  
  
"Well," Sirius declared, clapping his hands together, "I think we should be off. We have a flat to find!"  
  
"Wait just a minute," Mrs. Potter said, stopping on her way to the sink, where Hetty was waiting to take care of the dirty dishes. "Where exactly do you gentlemen intend to look for this flat?"  
  
The boys exchanged a glance. They had never decided where they wanted to live. They had just assumed that they would find the perfect place. Mrs. Potter watched their faces, and nodded.  
  
"Just as I suspected. You three have no idea what you're doing, do you?"  
  
"Well, we pretty much know what we want," James said uneasily.  
  
His mother smiled, and shook her head. She handed the plates to Hetty, and sat down at the table with the boys again. "Let's think about this rationally," she said. "Where do you want to live?"  
  
The boys shrugged. They hadn't given it much thought.  
  
"All right," she sighed. "Where will you all be working or going to school? James?"  
  
"The Ministry," he said.  
  
"Which is where?"  
  
"London."  
  
"Good. Sirius, where is the Auror Academy?"  
  
"London," Sirius replied.  
  
"I'll be in London, too," Remus said without waiting for the question.  
  
"Good!" Mrs. Potter smiled as though she had uncovered a long-buried secret. "Then where do you think you should live?"  
  
"Er – London?" James suggested.  
  
"I've raised a genius," she said sarcastically. "May I suggest Diagon Alley?"  
  
"That's a great idea, Mum!" James exclaimed. "Don't you guys think that Diagon Alley would be a fun place to live?"  
  
"It would be fantastic," Sirius enthused.  
  
"Perfect," Remus agreed.  
  
"Now," Mrs. Potter continued, "you need to see what's available." She gave them the copy of the Daily Prophet that she had been reading. "See what you can find."  
  
They spent what felt like hours poring over the paper, trying to find a flat that would suit their needs. They wanted something with three bedrooms that would be close to, as Sirius put it, "the fun." Mrs. Potter watched their progress, making suggestions as they went along. They selected five locations that they felt had potential, and, at Mrs. Potter's request, sent owls requesting appointments.  
  
By noon, they had appointments to see all five flats that day. James looked at his mother gratefully as they prepared to leave.  
  
"Thanks, Mum. We would have been lost without you."  
  
Mrs. Potter smiled. "I couldn't stand by and watch the three of you go about this the wrong way. I'm glad I could help."  
  
James leaned down to kiss her cheek. Even though he had been taller than her since he was fifteen, it was still odd to look down on her mother. "Thanks again. We'll have an address to give you when we get back!"  
  
"I hope so," Mrs. Potter smiled. "Good luck, gentlemen."  
  
"Thanks!"  
  
The boys Apparated to Diagon Alley, and found the address for their first appointment. A short wizard met them at the door.  
  
"Black, Lupin, and Potter?" he asked as they approached.  
  
"That's us," Sirius replied.  
  
The man nodded. "Glad to meet you. I'm Dedalus Diggle. Now, which of you is which?"  
  
Once they had all introduced themselves, he nodded again. "Well, let me show you the flat I have available. I think – I hope – it's just what you need." He winked at them, and led them inside and up the stairs.  
  
The flat occupied the top floor of an older house. It had plenty of windows, which gave it a bright, airy feeling that James thought Lily would appreciate when she came to visit. The bedrooms were all a fair size, and the sitting room was quite large. The kitchen was well-equipped; although none of them really knew what they were doing with cooking, that would make their mothers happy.  
  
As they walked from room to room, James became more convinced that this was the place they would call home. He looked at Sirius and Remus, and realized that the same thoughts were going through their minds.  
  
"I'm sure you have other places to see today," Dedalus said as he took them back around to the front of the flat. "I can hold it for a day or two, if you need time to think it over."  
  
The boys exchanged a glance, and the slightest of nods. Smiles lit each of their faces.  
  
"I don't think that's going to be necessary, Mr. Diggle," Sirius grinned. "We'll take it."  
  
The man practically jumped out of his skin, his face reflecting the excitement on all of theirs. "You don't need any more time to decide?"  
  
"Nope," Sirius said cheerfully. "Where do we sign?"  
  
Diggle laughed in excitement. "Dumbledore will be thrilled!"  
  
"What?" James asked.  
  
"I can't say more now," he said, holding up a hand as though to stop both their questions and his words. "But you'll understand soon . . . I'll just go get the paperwork."  
  
Once he had left the room, the three young men turned to one another with questions in their eyes.  
  
"What was that all about?" Sirius asked.  
  
James shrugged. "Dumbledore certainly is one for mystery, though, isn't he?"  
  
"Seven years of school with the man, and you finally figured that out?" Remus chuckled.  
  
"Eh, shut it," James grinned. "I think Lily's going to love this place. I can't wait to show it to her."  
  
Sirius grinned. "Yeah, Liv's going to love it, too."  
  
"I wonder if the girls have found their new homes yet," Remus mused.  
  
"It's too bad that Laura's not living with the other girls," James said.  
  
"She wants to be on her own," Remus said with a shrug. "Whatever makes her happy, I guess."  
  
Mr. Diggle returned with a stack of parchment, his face lit up with a smile. "Well, shall we begin?"  
  
***  
  
It took the better part of two weeks for the boys to get settled in their new flat. Both the Potters and the Lupins were there every day, trying to help as much as possible. Although they never complained, all three boys couldn't help wondering if things would have run more smoothly without all the parental involvement.  
  
By the time they were officially moved in, the girls had all achieved the same feat. Laura had found a place in Hogsmeade, and Lily, Dana, and Olivia were living in London. James, Sirius, and Remus had been surprised to learn that they had chosen to live in the city, but the girls had fallen in love with the flat, and refused to consider living anywhere else. Lily and Dana promised that they would keep Olivia from making any fatal mistakes in front of their Muggle neighbors.  
  
It seemed they had barely had a moment to themselves when adulthood slapped them in the face. On the same Monday, James and Laura began their work at the Ministry, Lily started with the Daily Prophet, and Remus, Dana, Sirius, and Olivia attended their first classes.  
  
Laura and James were both nervous about starting at the Ministry, and wanted to arrive together. She Apparated to the boys' flat before eight in the morning on their first day. James took one look at her, and knew that she was more nervous than he was.  
  
"Have you ever been to the Ministry before?" she asked.  
  
"Sure," James replied. "My dad's an Auror, so I've been there to visit him at work."  
  
Laura nodded. "The only time I was there was when I went for my interview."  
  
"It's going to be fine, Laura," James said. "I'm sure you'll love it." He grinned. "Remus says that you're a brilliant at arguing, so I'm sure this will work out for you."  
  
She smiled, and shook her head. "Is he still here so I can kill him for that comment?"  
  
"I'm not here if that's how you're going to be," Remus laughed as he entered the room. He pulled Laura into a warm embrace. "It's going to be fine, love. You'll be brilliant at whatever you do." He leaned down to kiss her. "There's your good luck kiss. Now you can't fail."  
  
She smiled up at him. "I love you."  
  
"I love you, too."  
  
James cleared his throat. "We really do need to get to work."  
  
"All right," Laura reluctantly agreed, pulling herself away from Remus. "I'll be back with James tonight. I want to hear all about how your first day of class goes."  
  
Remus made a face. "Just swimmingly, I'm sure."  
  
"Everyone will be over tonight," James said. "Even Peter's coming."  
  
"Really?" Laura asked. "How is he doing with his parents?"  
  
James and Remus exchanged a glance. The tone of Peter's letters had left them wondering the very same thing.  
  
"We'll find out tonight," James said at last. "Come on, Laura. We don't want to be late on our first day."  
  
She nodded, and kissed Remus good bye. She and James Apparated to the Ministry of Magic offices.  
  
***  
  
James was bored. He had been paraded around the office by his supervisor, Mr. Fudge, who introduced him to everyone possible. He knew there was no way he'd remember all the names and job titles he had learned, but also knew that he couldn't protest what his boss wanted him to do – particularly not on his first day.  
  
"It's all for your own good, Potter," Fudge said eagerly. "The more people who know you, the better your chances of being promoted. And, just between the two of us, I don't think I'll be in this department too much longer. The junior minister in the Department of Magical Catastrophes is retiring, and I'm hoping to be promoted into that position. Not that there's anything wrong with the Department of International Magical Cooperation, of course, but I could be JUNIOR MINISTER over there! Can you even imagine?"  
  
James plastered a smile on his face. "What a wonderful opportunity for you, sir."  
  
"Yes, it is, isn't it? I'll be Minister of Magic one day, James – mark my words!"  
  
James smiled the same fake smile, but the man's words made him want to grimace. THIS man as Minister of Magic? James couldn't imagine the wizarding world making that error in judgment.  
  
***  
  
"Welcome to the Auror Academy. My name is Alastor Moody, and I will be overseeing your training."  
  
Olivia stifled a gasp, and slid a bit closer to Sirius on her seat. Alastor Moody was a rather intimidating figure. His heavily scarred face made both of them a bit nervous. Is that what they would look like after a few years as Aurors?  
  
"Now, with all that our world is going through, your training will be accelerated," Moody continued. "We're going to accomplish in two years what would normally take three. We want to have you ready to go out into the field as soon as possible. If you are not ready for this rigorous training, or to perform the duties being an Auror demands, I'd advise you to leave now. In fact, I'll help you find a job working in Honeyduke's. You'd be of far more use to me there than working in a profession you don't feel dedicated to or passionate about. For those of you who remain . . ."  
  
He shot a Stunner into the crowd, knocking a young man off his chair. A collective gasp went through the group.  
  
"CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"  
  
***  
  
"So, Lily, do you know a bit about Quidditch?"  
  
Lily grinned at her Elaine Kramer, editor. "My boyfriend and my best friend were Chasers on our school team for six years. I know everything they've taught me."  
  
"Well, you're definitely better off than the last sports writer we had, then," Elaine said cheerfully. "That man couldn't tell a Quaffle from a Bludger! But I think you'll work out just fine. And, between you and me, the sports position tends to be a 'starter job,' if you will – if you please us, we'll move you on to bigger and better things!"  
  
Lily smiled. This was perfect! There was no way she was going to spend the rest of her life interviewing Quidditch players.  
  
"Now, we've set up your first interview for you, but after this one, you'll be on your own. This first one is with Ludo Bagman. He's a Beater – have you heard of him?"  
  
Lily laughed. "I think James might just spontaneously combust when I tell him I'm interviewing Ludo Bagman!"  
  
"James is your boyfriend?" Elaine grinned.  
  
"Yeah," Lily replied. "He's a bit of a fan of Mr. Bagman's. Really, so is Olivia – my other Quidditch playing friend."  
  
"Well, I'd mention that if I were you. Mr. Bagman loves to hear people sing his praises. It'll open him up a bit."  
  
"Done," Lily grinned.  
  
***  
  
It was late when everyone convened at the boys' flat for dinner. Everyone stumbled in into the flat in various stages of exhaustion. Remus, who was the most adept of the boys at cooking, made dinner. Once they were all situated, James opened the conversation.  
  
"Right. Let's hear from our Healers first. How was your first day?"  
  
"Fabulous!" Dana exclaimed. "We're going to learn so much. It's fascinating, isn't it, Remus? I mean, I thought we had learned so much in Potions and Herbology at Hogwarts, but it's amazing how much more there is out there. I can't wait to actually get out in the field to do some work – but at the same time, I'm afraid I'll never know enough to do it. What did you think, Remus?"  
  
All eyes turned to Remus, who looked a bit uncomfortable. "It was about what I expected," he said. "My dad had me pretty well prepped for it."  
  
James, who was well-aware that being a Healer wasn't Remus' first choice, moved the conversation along. "Aurors? Let's hear it!"  
  
"I have never worked so hard in my entire life," Olivia moaned. "Those people are insane! And that Moody – honestly, Sirius, have you ever met anyone like him before?"  
  
Sirius laughed. "Mr. Potter told me about him, so I was a bit forewarned. He's crazy, all right, but he really knows his stuff. Granted, I think that Stunning a student ten minutes in was a bit much . . ."  
  
"He Stunned a student?" Lily cried.  
  
"Oh, yeah," Sirius grinned. "And then revived him, and proceeded to preach for forty minutes about –"  
  
"CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" Olivia cried. "I think it's his mantra."  
  
"Hey, it's gotten him this far," Sirius laughed. "How 'bout you, Little Flower? How's the world of the Daily Prophet treating you?"  
  
"It's going to be fun," Lily said, smiling as though she had a great secret. "My editor, Elaine, is really funny, and she's going to be very helpful. She said she's very willing to promote me if I do well for her. She's already got my first interview set up for me."  
  
"Really?" James asked with interest. "Who are you interviewing?"  
  
Lily paused dramatically. "Ludo Bagman!"  
  
"LUDO BAGMAN!" James and Olivia yelled as one.  
  
"Lil, you have GOT to get me an autograph!" James cried.  
  
"Can I come with you?" Olivia begged. "Please, Lils?"  
  
Lily laughed. "I knew you two would go nuts."  
  
"Seriously, can we come?"  
  
"No! Not on my first interview! But enough about my job. Tell me about yours, James."  
  
"I want to hear more about yours!"  
  
"No! We all need a chance to talk! This is your turn!"  
  
James laughed at her. "All right, if you insist. Well, my boss is a complete moron."  
  
"Who is it?" Laura asked with interest.  
  
"His name is Cornelius Fudge. He's obsessed with himself. He made me walk around and meet everyone in the whole bloody Ministry this morning, I swear. He was quite eager to introduce his new assistant – I am NOT his assistant, but that's what he kept calling me. I don't know what his problem is! Then he informed me that he won't be in our department much longer – he's hoping to be promoted to junior minister in the Department of Magical Catastrophes. I hope he does get that promotion – maybe I won't have to deal with him as much. Oh, and get this – he told me he'll be Minister of Magic someday! Well, he'll get there without my support, I'll tell you that!"  
  
"James, it's been one day," Lily said soothingly. "Maybe you'll learn to like him."  
  
"Oh, I doubt it. Thank goodness I'm doing work for Dumbledore, too, or I think future-Minister Fudge might just drive me to take a header off a bridge!"  
  
Laura laughed. "Well, then I probably shouldn't say anything about my department."  
  
"Oh, no, you're not getting out of this," James said. "Tell us all about it."  
  
Laura smiled. "I really like it. The other people I'm working with are very nice – and very brilliant. I've never seen such a collection of minds! This is going to be a fantastic experience."  
  
"Good for you," James grinned. "At least one of us likes the Ministry." He turned to Peter, who had been rather quiet. "What about you, Peter?"  
  
Peter smiled. "Well, you know, it's sort of like any other summer. I'm at home with my parents. My mum's great, and my dad's impossible to please. I have a job in a shop in town, so at least I'm getting to meet new people."  
  
"That's a good thing," Sirius said encouragingly.  
  
Peter nodded. "But I really miss you guys."  
  
"We miss you, too," Remus said softly. "Maybe your parents will change their minds."  
  
Peter shook his head darkly. "Not very likely."  
  
"Well, regardless, remember that our offer will always stand. You're always welcome here," James said.  
  
"I know that," Peter replied with a smile. "You guys are the best friends I could ask for."  
  
***  
  
"I'm worried about Peter," James said.  
  
Everyone had left for the night, and the three boys were alone in their flat. They were wandering through their living space, collecting all the trash and dirty dishes they could find.  
  
"Me, too," Sirius said. "He doesn't seem like himself, does he?"  
  
"How can he? He's stuck up there with his parents for company, and they won't let him grow up," Remus said.  
  
"He really needs to get down here with us," James said. "He just seems . . . depressed, or something."  
  
A flash of light filled the room, making all three boys jump. Once the light had returned to normal, a letter was lying on the table. A single golden feather was on top of it.  
  
"What's this all about?" Sirius asked, crossing to pick it up. He held up the feather uncertainly. "Who has an owl with golden feathers?"  
  
"That's from Fawkes!" exclaimed James, who had spent far more time in the Headmaster's office than the other two.  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Fawkes! Dumbledore's phoenix! That letter must be about the Order!"  
  
Sirius put down the feather, and examined the envelope. "It's addressed to all three of us."  
  
"Open it," Remus encouraged, crossing the room to read over Sirius' shoulder.  
  
"It says we have to report for training tomorrow night," Sirius said. "We have to meet the girls and Peter in the Leaky Cauldron at seven. We'll receive more information when we get there."  
  
"Rather cryptic, isn't it?" Remus frowned.  
  
"That's Dumbledore for you," James replied. "I'm glad we'll get to see Peter again."  
  
"I think he's having a hard time of it, but doesn't want to admit it," Remus said. "You know how hard it is for Peter to admit he has problems."  
  
"He never had problems admitting stuff like that to us before," Sirius frowned. "We were always the ones he came to when he needed help."  
  
"Yeah, with school stuff," Remus replied. "We were right there, and we could see for ourselves what was going on. But this – this is different. This is something he can hide if he wants to." He looked off into space for a minute. "But we can't let him. We have to let him know that we're still there for him, even if we can't see him every day like we could before."  
  
James sighed. "All this would be so much easier if his parents would just let him live with us."  
  
"Or if he'd grow a spine and stand up to them," Sirius added. "When are they going to realize that he's not their little boy anymore?"  
  
"Probably about the same time he does," Remus said rather harshly.  
  
James and Sirius stared at him.  
  
"My parents are rather like that, too," Remus said. "You have to make them realize that you're not a little kid, or they'll always treat you like one. They wanted me to stay with them, but I said that this was what I wanted to do, and they agreed. Everyone has to grow up. Some people just have an easier time doing it than others."  
  
***  
  
At promptly seven o'clock the next evening, James, Sirius, and Remus walked into the Leaky Cauldron. They spotted Lily, Dana, and Olivia seated together at a table. They crossed the room, and sat down with them.  
  
"Thank goodness you're finally here," Olivia said, grabbing Sirius' arm. "The waiting is driving us mad."  
  
"You haven't received any more information yet?" James asked.  
  
"No," Lily replied, reaching out to take his hand. "We don't even know who we're supposed to meet."  
  
The door opened, and their heads shot up. Laura walked in, with Peter right behind her. They grinned at the sight of their friends, and hurried across to join them. Both of them were laughing as they sat down.  
  
"What's funny?" Remus asked, kissing Laura's cheek.  
  
She giggled. "Peter and I just ran into each other."  
  
"Obviously," Sirius grinned. "You came in together."  
  
"No, we literally ran into each other," Peter laughed. "We both Apparated into Diagon Alley at the same time . . ."  
  
"And at the same point," Laura finished. "Honestly, the most bizarre things happen to me."  
  
"I think we all fall under that category," James grinned. "It's good to see you both. How are things?"  
  
"You have no idea how wonderful it is to hear silence," Laura grinned. "I'm sure I made this point at dinner last night, but this is the first time in my life that I've been able to live alone, and –"  
  
Her statement was cut off as the door opened again, and Hagrid walked in. He exchanged a friendly greeting with the barkeep, then his eyes fell on the table of recent Hogwarts graduates. His face lit by a smile, he crossed the room to their table.  
  
"All right there, you lot?" he asked as he approached.  
  
"Hi, Hagrid!" Sirius exclaimed cheerfully. "How are the Hippogriffs?"  
  
Sirius had become rather fond of Hagrid's Hippogriffs after spending so many detentions helping the gamekeeper. Hagrid loved Sirius for the interest he took in his creatures. He grinned at the question.  
  
"They're doing just great," he replied. "But I have more to talk to you lot about than Hippogriffs."  
  
They all became serious at once. Almost instantly, they all realized that Hagrid was likely their contact person from the Order.  
  
"Professor Dumbledore has sent me to bring you all to him," he said. He glanced around. "I can't tell you much now – you'll find out more once we get there."  
  
"Where are we going?" James asked.  
  
"Headquarters," Hagrid replied, his voice just above a whisper. He pulled a key from his pocket, as well as several slips of paper. "This is the portkey we'll be using to get there. Everyone touch it – we have about a minute." He hastily handed each of them a piece of paper. "Read this – think about, and memorize it."  
  
The paper gave the location for the Order's Headquarters. The writing was unfamiliar to James, but he quickly memorized the address. After he ran through the words in his mind twice, he felt the jerk of the portkey transporting him there.  
  
James' feet slammed into solid ground. He felt someone crash into him from the left, and instinctively reached out to steady his companion. He looked up, and saw Lily smiling at him.  
  
"Thanks," she murmured.  
  
"Anytime," James grinned, giving her a wink.  
  
She smiled again, and gripped his hand, lacing her fingers through his. James leaned over to kiss her cheek. He wanted desperately to hold her close, but knew that this was not the appropriate time to do such a thing. Sirius, who was on his other side, sucked in his breath sharply.  
  
"Welcome."  
  
James looked up, and saw Dumbledore standing before them. He was flanked by two men that James had never seen before. All three of them were surveying the younger people before them as though deciding whether or not they were worthy to stay. James drew himself up, and released Lily's hand.  
  
"Welcome," Dumbledore said again, "to the Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. Thank you, Hagrid, for bringing them here safely."  
  
Hagrid nodded. "Anything else, Professor?"  
  
"Not at this time."  
  
Hagrid nodded again, and left the room. Dumbledore looked back to his new recruits with twinkling eyes.  
  
"Please, sit down."  
  
They lowered themselves onto chairs and couches, never looking away from their former Headmaster and his companions. Dumbledore and the other men took seats with them.  
  
"Membership to the Order of the Phoenix is a rigorous and dangerous thing," Dumbledore said. "Our members put their lives on the line every day in the name of our cause. Battles with Death Eaters are only one part of the work that we do. We require you to be strong physically, mentally, and emotionally. Before we allow you to attend meetings, or to be full members, we will require you to go through a very intense training process. Once you have completed your training, we, along with you, of course, will decide if you should be allowed full membership.  
  
"These two men will be responsible for your training," Dumbledore continued. "This is Frank Longbottom, and this is Alastor Moody. Both men are high-ranking Ministry Aurors, and both men are the foundation of the Order. You, Mr. Black, and you, Miss Alexander, will find yourselves answering to them both here and as a part of your work."  
  
Sirius and Olivia glanced at one another, then back at the men in front of them. Neither of them would tolerate anything but excellence; they were already well-aware of that. They had not been aware that they would be spending every waking moment in their company.  
  
"You will spend the next month training with Alastor and Frank," Dumbledore said. "Should anyone ask why you are spending so much time away from home, you are here to learn Advanced Transfiguration with me. At the end of the month, we will make a final decision about your membership."  
  
They all nodded. In that one moment, they made their own final decisions. There was no turning back.  
  
Dumbledore nodded, and looked from the new recruits to Moody and Longbottom. "I'll just leave them with you, then." He turned to look at the eight young adults that he would always consider to be among his best students. "I wish you all luck. Until we meet again." He turned on his heel, and Dispparated with a soft pop.  
  
"Come," Moody said, his voice harsh and gruff, "let's begin our training." He glanced at Sirius and Olivia. "I will expect nothing but perfection from both of you."  
  
Sirius and Olivia nodded, never breaking eye contact with the older man. He nodded back at them. Never taking his eyes away from theirs, Moody's wand shot up, pointed at Laura. Before he had time to utter a spell, Sirius' wand shot up to point at Moody.  
  
"Good, Black! You're learning! The rest of you – did you see that? You must be prepared for anything! CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"  
  
They all jumped in their seats a bit. Longbottom picked up the lecture.  
  
"You also must notice how quickly Mr. Black jumped to Miss Bond's aid. That is an essential part of what you will do with the Order, and what we are going to teach you tonight."  
  
Both Aurors stood, and motioned for the others to do the same. Frank waved his wand, making all furniture in the room vanish.  
  
"Trust," Moody said quietly. "Trust is a vital part of all that we do. We must have complete trust in one another, or we have nothing. We depend upon each other for our very lives in many cases. Today, we will work on trust."  
  
"This first exercise is very simple," Frank said, picking up where Moody had left off. "You will each work with a partner. All you must do is to turn your back to your partner, and fall back into his or her arms. Your partner will catch you before you can fall."  
  
Lily frowned. "I've heard of this sort of thing before."  
  
"Have you tried it before?" Moody asked.  
  
"No," Lily said honestly. "But my sister went to a camp where they did these sorts of exercises."  
  
"What is the point behind them?" Moody asked.  
  
"To show your trust in the person catching you," Lily said. "And the person catching you demonstrates that they will do just that. That they will be there – that they are trustworthy."  
  
"Exactly," Moody said. "Like Longbottom said, this isn't a difficult exercise. We'll do some that involve spells and curses once we complete this." He looked around at them critically. "You will all do this exercise until you have been partnered with everyone. However, to start, let's break up our happy couples. Let's put Potter and Alexander together, Evans and Lupin, Bond and Black, and Morgan and Pettigrew. Now, let's see what you can do. Potter, Alexander, you start. Show us how much you trust one another."  
  
James grinned at Olivia. "You know I trust you. You were my captain for two years!"  
  
"Let's see you prove it, then," Olivia grinned. "Turn around and fall."  
  
"Are you sure you can support me?" James asked.  
  
"Are you saying you don't trust me?"  
  
"Right, right." James turned his back on her, and paused a moment before he fell.  
  
Olivia reached out and caught him before he hit the ground. He had been right about one thing – he was heavier than she would have guessed. As soon as she held him suspended over the ground, her muscles began to protest. She gasped, and he quickly pulled himself up.  
  
"Good show," Moody growled. "Alexander, we're going to have to work on your strength."  
  
"I thought I was strong," she muttered. "I played Quidditch for the past six years."  
  
"Well, apparently you didn't train hard enough," Moody shot back. "But no matter. We can build your strength. It's the trust I'm concerned about. Now, let's see if you trust Potter as much as he trusts you."  
  
She grinned at James, who gave her a wink. She turned around, and promptly fell back into his arms. James caught her, supporting her easily. Moody nodded his approval, and called Lily and Remus up for their own display.  
  
All four groups performed their first test admirably. Moody and Frank nodded, and realigned the groups. James found himself working with Sirius, who grinned at him.  
  
"I think I'm a bit heavier than Liv," he teased.  
  
"I've seen you eat," James laughed. "I KNOW you're heavier than she is."  
  
"More work and less talk!" Moody bellowed.  
  
James and Sirius halted their conversation at once, and went to work on the exercise. They made their way around the room, working with a different partner each time they performed the exercise. For the last round, the three couples were reunited.  
  
"Are you ready for this?" James whispered to Lily.  
  
"I'd rather be in your arms than anyone else's," she whispered back, giving him a special smile.  
  
James felt his heart jump when she looked at him like that. Oh, WHY, couldn't he just take her away from here so they could be alone and he could snog her senseless?  
  
"Black, Alexander, you're first," Moody called.  
  
Sirius and Olivia performed the trust exercise, followed by Peter and Dana. James and Lily were next. Each time, Moody's only comment was that they needed to build their strength. James feared that he would soon be working on quite a few exercises.  
  
"All right, let's see Bond and Lupin," Frank said.  
  
Remus gave Laura a smile as he stepped up behind her. She tried to smile back, but failed. Remus frowned. Why did she look at him like that? He had seen her fall into Lily's arms, and Dana's, Peter's – everyone's. Why was she concerned about this exercise? She had done it before.  
  
Laura was almost shaking as she turned her back on Remus. In her mind, she was in the Shrieking Shack, listening to him tell her the truth. For years, she had been with him while he lied to her. She had proclaimed her trust a thousand times since they had gotten back together, but this was a very serious – and very public – test of her words. Could she really do it? Could she really trust Remus to catch her?  
  
In her mind, she knew the answer was yes. Remus would never let her fall. She took a deep breath and started to fall backward . . .  
  
She tried to catch herself before Remus had a chance, falling in the process. Both Moody and Longbottom raised their eyebrows. She didn't trust her own boyfriend to catch her?  
  
Remus looked at Laura in horror. She didn't trust him? "Laura?" he asked shakily.  
  
"Remus," she said slowly, her eyes filling with tears, "I –"  
  
Her next words died in her throat as the door burst open, and Dumbledore appeared, his face ashen. Remus helped Laura to her feet, and they, along with everyone else, stared at the older man. Something had happened – something awful. Everyone in the room seemed to be holding his or her breath, waiting to hear what Dumbledore would say.  
  
"I need to talk to Miss Morgan," he said, his voice very urgent.  
  
Tears gathered in Dana's eyes. Even before she heard whatever news the Headmaster had brought, she knew it would break her heart. "What's happened?" she whispered. "Is it Aidan?"  
  
"May I take you next door?" Dumbledore asked gently.  
  
Dana shook her head, and grabbed the hand of Lily, who was standing next to her. "I'd rather have my friends here with me," she said, trying desperately to be brave.  
  
Dumbledore nodded, and conjured several chairs. "Very well. At least sit down, please."  
  
Dana nodded, and dragged Lily to a loveseat with her. Lily sat down next to her friend, gripping her hand tightly. She placed her other hand on Dana's upper arm, trying to protect her, to shield her from the awful news that was coming. She could feel Dana shaking as they awaited Dumbledore's proclamation.  
  
Dumbledore sat down across from the girls, looking at Dana with compassion. "There was another attack," he said gently. "The Death Eaters attacked part of Diagon Alley."  
  
There was a collective gasp from the group. Dumbledore glanced up. "It was away from where you live," he said.  
  
James, Sirius, and Remus nodded. They all felt a bit relieved, but a bit ashamed for feeling relieved. Their flat was safe, but someone close to Dana was not.  
  
"The area that was attacked was near your father's shop," Dumbledore said gently. "He went outside to help, to try to hold off the Death Eaters – he was trying to protect some people who had been caught in the crossfire."  
  
Dana drew her breath in sharply, and gripped Lily's hand so hard that Lily was concerned her fingers might break. She squeezed back, trying to tell Dana that she was there for her without saying a word.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Dana," Dumbledore said softly. "Your father was killed by a Death Eater. It happened just as members of the Order were arriving on the scene. He died as a hero, and will be hailed as one."  
  
Tears escaped, running quickly down Dana's cheeks, and her mouth opened in a silent scream. She tried desperately to compose herself, but her voice shook when she spoke. "Does my mother know?"  
  
"Yes. She's at the Ministry right now."  
  
"Can I go to her?"  
  
"I'll take you myself."  
  
"Dana, do you want us to come?" Lily asked. She felt tears stinging her eyes as she looked into Dana's horror-stricken face.  
  
Dana looked over at her. "I need to be with my mum," she said softly. "She needs me right now."  
  
Lily released her hand, and pulled her into a tight embrace. Dana clung to her, and sobs began to wrack her body. Olivia crossed the room, her own eyes full of tears, and pulled both girls into her arms. They stayed like that, locked into each other's comforting embraces, gently rocking back and forth.  
  
A/N: Moody's line about helping anyone who doesn't have the passion about their chosen career find a job elsewhere is a tribute to my educational psychology professor – one of the best teachers I've ever had. She had a very similar line she gave us about dedication to the teaching profession – although the job she offered to help us find was at Circuit City. 


	3. Trust and Love

A/N: Remus and Laura . . . sigh. They got back together before, but never really resolved anything . . . Let's see if they can fix their problems!  
  
I don't own Harry Potter.  
  
Trust and Love  
  
"Come," Dumbledore said gently, placing his hand on Dana's arm. "Let me take you to the Ministry."  
  
Dana nodded, and detached herself from Olivia and Lily. Olivia reached out to touch her face.  
  
"Are you sure you want to go alone, Dana?"  
  
"I'm sure," Dana replied, wiping tears from her face. "Thank you so much – all of you."  
  
A murmur went through the group, as though to assure her that they would always support her.  
  
"I don't know if I'll be home tonight," Dana said, addressing herself to the girls.  
  
Lily nodded. "You'll be in our prayers."  
  
Dana nodded, and left the room with Dumbledore. They all watched her go, unsure of what to do.  
  
Frank cleared his throat. "In light of what's happened, I think we'll postpone further training exercises for tonight. We'll be in touch with you to give you the exact time of when we'll meet again."  
  
"But know this," Moody said. "This is what we deal with every day as members of the Order. Maybe not always the death of someone close to us, but the attacks, the sorrow – these are our constant companions. If you don't want to continue with us, please tell us now. We won't think any less of you."  
  
Sirius looked him straight in the eye. There was no way he was going to quit – not Auror training, and not the Order. Moody met his eye, and nodded slightly. He stepped closer to the younger man.  
  
"Dumbledore told me you were different," he said. "He told me that you weren't like the rest of your family. I'm glad to see that he was right."  
  
"This is my family," Sirius replied, indicating the friends that were gathered around him. "These people have stood by me when my blood relatives didn't. These people have been there for me through every possible circumstance. I would do anything for them, and I know that they would do the same for me."  
  
Moody nodded again. "Trust, Black," he said softly. "Trust."  
  
***  
  
James, Sirius, Lily, and Olivia Apparated to the girls' flat. Peter had gone home, and Remus and Laura had gone to her place to discuss what exactly had happened between them during training. Once they were all inside the flat, they collapsed in the sitting room.  
  
"I can't believe that just happened," Olivia said, curling up against Sirius. "How could something so awful happen to Dana? She doesn't deserve that."  
  
"Does anyone?" Sirius asked quietly. "Did you deserve to lose part of your family?"  
  
"No, of course not. But Dana is so sweet, so compassionate – I can't stand the thought of her suffering like that." A tear slid down Olivia's cheek.  
  
"Hey," Sirius whispered, brushing away her tear, "Dana's going to be all right. She's strong. She'll get through this."  
  
"I know," Olivia whispered.  
  
Sirius bent his head, and kissed her cheek, just under her eye. "You're sweet and compassionate, too, Liv. If you weren't, how could you ever feel so much for your friend?"  
  
"Sirius," she whispered.  
  
He put his hand under her chin, tilting her head up to kiss her. She melted up against him, sinking into the kiss. When Sirius' hands began to move over her body, James and Lily looked at one another a bit uncomfortably.  
  
"Do you want to go back to my place?" James whispered.  
  
Lily nodded. "This is a bit awkward."  
  
James grinned. "I don't think they'll notice if we just leave without saying good bye."  
  
"Probably not."  
  
"Let's go, then."  
  
They both Apparated to James' flat, and collapsed onto his sofa. James put his arm around Lily, drawing her close. She sighed as she curled up next to him.  
  
"When will this end, James?" she whispered. "When will the death, the loss, the pain, and the heartache end?"  
  
"Will they ever?" James replied. "I mean, even without the war, even without Voldemort, people will still be in pain."  
  
"I know," Lily said softly. "But far more of them are in pain now. I wish there was a way we could help."  
  
"We are helping. That's what joining the Order is all about."  
  
"Yes, but I feel like I should be doing something more. Sirius and Olivia are. They're going to work as Aurors. And you are. The main reason you're in the Ministry is to do work for Dumbledore. Laura will do work for him, too. And Remus and Dana will save the lives of Voldemort's victims. But I . . . I just write sports stories for the Daily Prophet."  
  
"It doesn't always have to be that way, you know. Didn't you say that your editor was willing to consider you for a promotion? Think of all the good you could do at the newspaper! You could investigate stories, and uncover plots. You can publish the truth about what's going on. You can make a real difference, Lil. You just have to find a way to do it."  
  
"I guess I can, can't I?" she smiled.  
  
"Of course!"  
  
Her smile faded. "Assuming, of course, that I live long enough to make that difference."  
  
"Hey," James said quickly, tilting her face up so that he could look into her eyes. "What's all this about?"  
  
"James, you've said yourself that we need to live like there won't be a tomorrow." She drew a shaky breath. "Did you know that Dana's dad was Muggle-born?"  
  
"No, I didn't know that."  
  
"Well, he was. And so am I."  
  
"Lil, no. Don't even think like that! The two are not connected. Mr. Morgan was caught in the crossfire. Dumbledore said that himself."  
  
"No, that's not what he said," Lily corrected. "He said that Mr. Morgan was defending a group of people who were caught in the crossfire, and that he was killed by a Death Eater. He didn't say anything about it being accidental – and somehow, I don't think it was."  
  
"You think they attacked with the intention of killing Mr. Morgan?"  
  
"Well, not just him, I'm sure. But I do think that he was one of their targets." She paused, and looked down. "Just like I am."  
  
"NO, Lil! I'm not going to let anything happen to you!"  
  
"But it might." She looked up again, her eyes full of tears. "I'm not afraid for me, James. If I was, I wouldn't be doing this training for the Order. I'm afraid for my parents, for my sister, for the girls . . . I'm afraid for you." She drew a shaky breath. "I can handle the idea of dying, James, but I can't handle the idea of leaving you."  
  
He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. "You WON'T. You aren't going to leave me now, and you won't ever leave me. And I'm never going to leave you. I love you, Lily, and I won't let anything happen to you."  
  
"God, James, I love you. I can't stand the idea of living without you."  
  
"You won't. I promise you, Lily, we're always going to be together."  
  
***  
  
Remus and Laura Apparated to her flat. For a moment, neither of them spoke – neither of them knew what to say. It was Laura who finally broke the silence.  
  
"I hope Dana's all right. I don't know what I'd do if something like that happened to someone in my family."  
  
"Dana will be fine," Remus said in a choked voice. "She has Dumbledore with her now, and she has the support of her friends." He paused, and drew a deep breath. "I'm more worried about us, Laura."  
  
Laura looked up to meet his eyes. They were full of pain and a sense of betrayal. "Remus," she whispered.  
  
"Please explain what happened back there," he said, his voice shaking slightly. He was trying to stay calm. There had to be a perfectly reasonable, logical explanation for what had happened.  
  
"I – I don't know," Laura said, lowering her eyes. She couldn't stand to see the hurt and confusion on Remus' face.  
  
"You don't know?" Remus repeated. He ran his hand through his hair. "I really thought we had worked all this out, Laura. I've been completely honest and straightforward with you ever since . . . ever since that day in the Shrieking Shack. I've done everything I could to make you trust me. Why can't you?"  
  
Tears filled her eyes. "It's just . . ."  
  
"You don't trust me?" Remus asked incredulously. "So, all those times that you told me you love me, you were lying?"  
  
"NO! I love you, Remus!"  
  
"Do you? How can you love someone that you don't even trust? How can you make love to someone that you don't trust? Or didn't it mean as much to you as it did to me? Was it just meaningless shagging for you?"  
  
Laura flinched as though he had struck her. "How can you say that? You know it's not like that!"  
  
"Do I? I feel like I don't know anything anymore." He ran his hands over his face. "Have we been living a lie for all these months? Damn it, Laura! I've tried so hard to make you believe that I love you, that I trust you, and all this time, you've . . ."  
  
"I do love you, Remus! And I do trust you! But . . ."  
  
"But what?"  
  
"I'm afraid," she said, her voice just above a whisper.  
  
Remus blinked. "You're afraid?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Of what?"  
  
"Of losing you." She sank down onto the couch. "Weren't you listening to what Moody, Longbottom, and Dumbledore were saying? They were all trying to prepare us for the worst. They were all trying to tell us not to get too close to one another."  
  
"What do you mean? That whole exercise that they made us do was about getting close. It was about TRUSTING one another," Remus replied, the irritation returning to his voice.  
  
"Didn't you see the way they split us up at the beginning?"  
  
"Laura," Remus said, now clearly annoyed, "they did that because they were sure that we would trust our significant others. They weren't sure we'd be able to trust our friends. You, however, seem to have the opposite problem. I watched you! I watched you fall into Sirius' arms, Lily's, everyone's! You didn't have a problem believing that they'd be there to catch you! I was the one you didn't trust!"  
  
Laura shuddered slightly, trying not to sob. "Remus, please."  
  
"Remus, please WHAT?" Remus spat. He began pacing in front of her.  
  
"Please LISTEN to me!"  
  
Remus stopped pacing, and looked down at her. He took a deep, steadying breath. "All right. I'm listening."  
  
"I do trust you," she said quietly.  
  
"Well, you have an odd way of showing it."  
  
"I said to listen!" she yelled, jumping out of her seat.  
  
"Sorry."  
  
Laura took a deep breath. "Remus, I'm closer to you than I've ever been to anyone in my life. I know you have trouble believing it right now, but I do love you, and I do trust you. You're right – how could I have made love to you if I didn't love you, or didn't trust you? You know I wouldn't do that without loving you. I'm not like that. I've loved you ever since fifth year."  
  
"Laura, you have to admit that our relationship has changed since we were fifteen."  
  
"I know it has. Especially after I found out . . ."  
  
"Since you found out what I am," Remus said, looking away from her. He sighed. "I shouldn't blame you for not trusting me. Most people don't." The words weren't said for her benefit, or to gain sympathy. They were true.  
  
"You listen to me, Remus Lupin! That has nothing to do with anything!"  
  
"Laura, I told you that I'm a werewolf, and you left me. You have to admit that your actions make it seem like it has everything to do with it."  
  
"Remus," she sighed. "All right, we'll take this back to that day. Was I terrified when you told me? Yes. Was I hurt that you hadn't told me before? Yes. Was I angry that you trusted your friends with your secret, but not me? Yes. Was I heartbroken for both of us? Yes. But did I think any less of you as a person? No."  
  
"Why didn't you stay?" Remus whispered. "Why did you leave me standing there, thinking that you couldn't love me because I'm a werewolf?"  
  
"Don't you understand? It had nothing to do with that!"  
  
"How can you say that?"  
  
"Because it's true! If that was what it was about, would I be here with you right now? If I hated you because you're a werewolf, would I have ever let you touch me, let alone . . ."  
  
"Laura . . ."  
  
"NO! It's my turn to talk now, Remus! When you told me, I was scared for you, I was hurt that you hadn't told me, and I was sure that you were trying to hide part of yourself from me because you didn't trust me enough to tell me. It took shocking news to make me acknowledge what my sister had told me all along – that I was hurt, but I never stopped loving you."  
  
Remus' face began to soften. Laura looked up at him, feeling hopeful in spite of herself. Maybe this wasn't over. Maybe they could save it.  
  
"I love you, Remus. I love you so much that it scares me. THAT'S why I couldn't fall back into your arms."  
  
"I love you, Laura," Remus interjected. "I really do, but I can't understand why you couldn't just fall back into my arms. Don't you know that I'll always catch you? I'll never let you fall, love. Never."  
  
"I know that," Laura whispered, tears filling her eyes. She sank back down onto the couch. "I'm scared to get to close. I'm scared to let myself go completely, to . . . I guess it's too late. I'm completely in love with you. But, ever since that day at the platform, when I thought that you were dead, I've been terrified that I would lose you. I don't want to get too close because I can't stand the pain of what might happen, yet I'm already so close that I can't stop it."  
  
"Laura, I'm right here." Remus knelt down in front of her, and touched her face. "I'm right here. You're not going to lose me."  
  
Laura leaned forward until her forehead was touching his. "Do you promise?"  
  
"Of course. I'm not going anywhere."  
  
"Good. Neither am I."  
  
***  
  
When Remus arrived at the boys' flat, he found James sitting alone in the dim sitting room. He frowned slightly. Where was everyone?  
  
"James?" he asked.  
  
"Remus," James exclaimed. "What happened? Did you and Laura --?"  
  
"We're fine," Remus said, his relief evident on his face. "We had a lot of stuff to talk about, and a lot of issues to work through." He sat down next to James, and ran his hands over his face. "Do you remember the day that Laura and I got back together? When we were going back to Hogwarts after Christmas?"  
  
"I remember."  
  
"Do you remember when I told you? You were so shocked, and you had this look on your face . . . I think I finally understand that look you gave me."  
  
James smiled slightly. "I was worried. I mean, you guys had had a huge fight, and then you patched everything up in fifteen minutes? It didn't make sense."  
  
Remus nodded. "Well, your fears were well-grounded. We finally worked everything out tonight." He sighed. "I had no idea . . . But it's over now, and we're fine."  
  
"Why aren't you still with her?"  
  
"I wanted to see how you guys were holding up. Where is everyone, anyway?"  
  
"Lily went to her parents' house. She wanted to make sure that they're all right. I told her that someone would have come to find her if anything happened, but she said she had to see for herself."  
  
Remus nodded. "I guess I can understand that."  
  
"Yeah, I suppose. She's a little paranoid," he grinned. "Don't tell her I said so."  
  
"I won't," Remus laughed. "What about Sirius and Olivia? Where are they?"  
  
"At the girls' flat. When Lily and I left, Sirius and Olivia were practically on their way to the bedroom."  
  
Remus raised his eyebrows. "Bit of an awkward situation for you and Lily?"  
  
"That's an understatement!" James laughed.  
  
"And Peter?"  
  
"He went home when we left Headquarters. He didn't come back with us at all. He said he wanted to check on his parents, and to let them know that he was all right. He figured they'd be panicked since they knew that he was supposed to be in Diagon Alley tonight."  
  
"I should owl my parents," Remus mused. "I don't know if they'll have heard that anything happened yet, but I want to tell them that I'm fine.  
  
"You can borrow Owl," James offered. "My parents will already know that I wasn't involved."  
  
Remus nodded, and got up to write his letter. He had just sent Owl off when Sirius Apparated into the kitchen.  
  
"Hey!" he called cheerfully, entering the sitting room. "How's everyone doing?"  
  
"You're chipper," James commented, giving Remus a knowing look. Remus laughed.  
  
Sirius watched the looks that passed between his friends, and grinned. "Guilty as charged."  
  
James shook his head. "Bit of a depressing time for that, wasn't it?"  
  
"Well, we had to cheer ourselves up, didn't we?"  
  
Remus shook his head, and sat down. "Laura and I are fine, thanks for asking."  
  
"Well, Prongs was determined to learn about my activities for the last few hours, so I haven't exactly had a chance to ask."  
  
"Oh, sure, blame me! It's always my fault!"  
  
Sirius laughed, then calmed down. "I knew you guys would be able to work it out. You have a strong relationship."  
  
"No, we didn't," Remus replied. "But we do now."  
  
Sirius nodded. "Good for you, Moony. I'm proud of you for seeing this through, and for working out your problems."  
  
Remus grinned. "Thanks, Padfoot."  
  
James cleared his throat. "Can I ask you guys a favor?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Anything, mate."  
  
James grinned. "Well, I had some time alone to think, and I've made a decision."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"I want to ask Lily to marry me."  
  
For fifteen full seconds, Sirius and Remus stared at James in shock. When the fifteen seconds were up, they both jumped out of their seats, shouting their congratulations.  
  
"How did you come to this decision?" Sirius exclaimed. "I mean, I know you two are really close, and really in love, but . . .?"  
  
"Well, we came back here tonight, and we started talking about everything. Lily told me that Dana's dad was Muggle-born. She's really scared that she'll be one of Voldemort's targets, since she's Muggle-born, too. She said that she isn't afraid to die, but she's afraid to leave me. She said something that made me realize – I can't imagine every living without her. I can't imagine loving anyone but her. She said that she can't stand the idea of living without me. I know exactly what she means, because I can't stand the idea of living without HER." He smiled. "I love her, guys. She's it for me. I want to marry her. I want to be with her for the rest of my life."  
  
Sirius and Remus looked at him solemnly. "You're sure?" Sirius asked. "This isn't a decision you can take back, James."  
  
"I'm sure," James nodded. "Which brings me to the favor. Will you guys go ring shopping with me?"  
  
"Absolutely!" Sirius exclaimed.  
  
"Definitely," Remus grinned.  
  
"Good," James said, obviously relieved. "Is tomorrow all right?"  
  
"Perfect."  
  
***  
  
"Are you sure she'll like it?"  
  
"If we didn't think she'd like it, would we have let you spend all your savings on it?"  
  
"Fair point."  
  
It had been a week since James had made the decision to propose to Lily. He, Sirius, and Remus had shopped all over Diagon Alley, Hogsmeade, and London, searching for the perfect ring for Lily. They had finally selected a circle cut diamond that was large enough to be impressive but small enough to be within James' budget. As soon as he had bought it, James owled Lily, asking for a date. He had everything planned. It was going to be a perfect evening.  
  
"So you're meeting in Hogsmeade?" Sirius asked.  
  
James nodded. "She said she was going early to visit Laura. I'm going to pick her up at Laura's flat."  
  
Remus grinned. "Thank goodness I didn't tell Laura what's going on. I don't think she'd be able to stand not telling Lily."  
  
"Yeah, I had the same thoughts about Liv," Sirius grinned.  
  
"Really, I don't know how you guys have kept it quiet," James laughed. "I think you're more excited than I am!"  
  
"That isn't possible," Sirius replied.  
  
"Your whole plan is incredible," Remus said with an encouraging smile. "You guys are going to have a great night, and Sirius and I want to help you with that."  
  
"What do you mean?" James asked, frowning slightly.  
  
Sirius grinned. "Well – just in case you want to bring Lily back here tonight, we're going to make ourselves scarce. I'm going to spend the night at the girls' flat."  
  
"And I'm spending the night with Laura," Remus added.  
  
James' jaw dropped. "What?"  
  
"We want to make sure that everything is perfect," Sirius grinned. "We're going to give you guys some time alone to celebrate your engagement."  
  
A slightly worried look came into James' eyes. "Guys . . . What if she says no?"  
  
Sirius and Remus exchanged a glance that clearly said that James was crazy. However, looking at their friend again, they realized that this was a very real concern for him. Sirius clapped his hand down on James' shoulder.  
  
"Do you remember back when I used to tell you that it was hopeless – that Lily would never like you?"  
  
James laughed. "How could I forget? You said it repeatedly for over six years!"  
  
Sirius smiled. "Yeah, well, I was wrong. Lily loves you, mate, and she's going to say yes. There's no way she'll turn you down."  
  
James swallowed. "I hope you're right."  
  
"He is," Remus said with a simple confidence. "We've seen the way she looks at you. It's the same way you look at her. You guys are completely a part of one another – you're the most important thing in each other's lives. She's going to say yes, Prongs. There's no chance she'll turn you down."  
  
James smiled weakly. "Thanks, guys. For everything. You've been great, and I don't know how I would have made it through the last week – no, the last seven years – without you."  
  
Sirius and Remus both grinned. Words seemed inadequate.  
  
***  
  
James Apparated to the street just outside Laura's flat, and walked up to knock on the door. For some reason, he felt it would be inappropriate to just appear inside. The weight of the ring in his pocket smacked against his leg as he walked. He felt a jitter of nerves as he knocked on the door. What if -?  
  
Laura answered his knock, her face lit with a smile. "Right on time!" she laughed. "I thought you'd be late."  
  
"When am I late to meet Lily?" James grinned.  
  
"Well . . . I guess I hoped you be late. I hardly ever get to see Lily, and I wanted some more time with her."  
  
"That's your own fault!" Lily laughed as she joined them. "We practically begged you to move in with us, but you refused."  
  
"I know," Laura smiled. "Most of the time I'm happy to be alone, but I've really enjoyed having you over today." She glanced at James. "Do you want to come in, or do you guys have to be off?"  
  
James hesitated. It wasn't that they had reservations, but he really wanted to start the date. Fortunately, Lily saved him from making the decision.  
  
"We should be off," she said. "We'll come by to see you before we go back, as long as it's not too late."  
  
"Oh, yes, do!" Laura exclaimed. "Remus is coming over tonight, so you'll get to see him, too."  
  
Lily's eyes twinkled. "Well, then we'd definitely better go. I'm sure you need plenty of time to primp."  
  
Laura laughed. "I don't know exactly how to take that remark."  
  
Lily laughed with her. "We'll see you later, Laura."  
  
"Bye," James grinned. "Tell Remus hello."  
  
"Didn't you just see him about ten minutes ago?"  
  
"That's hardly the point," James laughed.  
  
Laura shook her head, and waved her hand. "Go! Go on your date! I'll see you both later!"  
  
James took Lily's hand, and steered her out of the house. They were both still laughing as they reached the street.  
  
"Where are we going?" Lily asked.  
  
"I thought you liked surprises," James teased.  
  
"I do – but I thought the surprises would be over by now."  
  
"No way, little girl. There will be plenty of surprises tonight."  
  
Lily smiled. "Well, then I guess I'll have to be patient."  
  
"Yes, you will." James led her through the streets of Hogsmeade, stopping in front of Honeyduke's. "Shall we go inside?"  
  
Lily looked at him with raised eyebrows. "We're going to Honeyduke's?"  
  
"Sure. I thought you liked chocolate!"  
  
"Oh, you know I do, it's just – a bit odd."  
  
James grinned. "Come on. Let's go inside. I want to buy you something chocolatey."  
  
Lily looked at him oddly. She was sure he had said something like that to her before, but she couldn't remember when. "All right," she said, still confused.  
  
"What would you like?" James asked. He walked over to a chocolate display, and picked up a box. "These are your favorite, aren't they?"  
  
"Yes, but you already knew that."  
  
"Well, I guess I can skip calling it a lucky guess then. Why don't you pick something?"  
  
Lily fell into the spirit of the game, and wandered around the store, trying to decide what she wanted to buy. James followed her through the aisles, making suggestions. She finally managed to select a box of candy, which James promptly offered to buy for her. As they stood at the counter, Lily looked at him again.  
  
"You know, I have the oddest sense of déjà vu right now."  
  
"Really?" James asked, pretending to be surprised.  
  
"Yes," she said slowly. "I'm not quite sure why, though."  
  
James grinned. "I can't think of any reason. Every other time I've been in this store, it was full of Hogwarts students."  
  
Lily smiled. "Yeah, I guess you're right."  
  
James paid for the candy, and led her outside. "Right. Anywhere you'd like to go next?"  
  
"I thought you had everything planned out."  
  
"True. Let's walk around for a bit, shall we?"  
  
"All right," Lily smiled. She reached down to take his hand. "It's nice, spending time together like this. We don't get to do it nearly often enough."  
  
"My thoughts exactly," James replied, lifting her hand to his lips.  
  
She smiled. "I've missed you," she said softly.  
  
"I've missed you, too," James said, his own voice quiet. "I feel like we hardly ever get to see one another anymore."  
  
"That's because we don't," Lily replied. "All we do is work and train for the Order."  
  
"Oh, be fair. We've only had one training session since the first . . ." He trailed off, and glanced sideways at her. "Lil, how's Dana doing?"  
  
Lily sighed. "She's all right, I guess. She's been spending a lot of time with her mum, and with Aidan. He's helped her immensely." She bit her bottom lip.  
  
"You're still worried, aren't you?"  
  
"About Dana?"  
  
"Yes," James said slowly. "And about her dad being Muggle-born."  
  
"Yeah, I am worried about it," Lily replied softly. "I haven't had time to start looking into it at work yet, but I will as soon as this interview with Ludo Bagman is over."  
  
"When is that?" James asked, his eyes lighting up.  
  
"Next week," Lily laughed. "It's all that Olivia will talk about. She keeps trying to get me to let her come."  
  
"Sirius isn't good enough for her anymore?" James laughed.  
  
"In Liv's world, everyone pales in comparison to an international Quidditch star."  
  
"Everyone does in most people's worlds."  
  
"Are you trying to tell me that you have a secret crush on Ludo Bagman?"  
  
James gave her a teasing smile. "Maybe. How would that make you feel?"  
  
"A bit used," Lily laughed. "And now that I know that, I certainly won't get you that autograph that you so desperately wanted!"  
  
James laughed. "Ouch! That was harsh!"  
  
"Yeah, well, I'm not going to share you with Ludo."  
  
"You won't have to. You don't have to worry about sharing me with anyone."  
  
Lily smiled. "Good. I don't want to."  
  
"So possessive," James grinned.  
  
"Well, when you're dating one of Hogwarts' most-wanted bachelors, you tend to be possessive," Lily laughed. She looked around, then turned to James, her eyebrows rising. "Where are we?"  
  
"Hogsmeade," James replied at once.  
  
"Yes, I'm aware of that," she said a bit sarcastically. "I mean, where in Hogsmeade are we? Are we lost?"  
  
"No, not at all. I know exactly where we are." He turned a corner, revealing the Three Broomsticks. "See? I thought we could stop here for dinner."  
  
Lily looked at him with a curious expression. "James – I know we've done this before. Are we – did you – is this our first date all over again?"  
  
James grinned nervously. "Yeah, it is."  
  
"Really?" Lily's face relaxed into a delighted smile. "You went to all the trouble to recreate our first date?"  
  
"It wasn't a lot of trouble, Lil," James laughed. "I mean, our first date included Honeyduke's, the Three Broomsticks, and wandering around the village."  
  
"But still – you remembered all that?"  
  
"I could never forget," James said in a low voice. "Could you?"  
  
Lily stood on tiptoe to kiss him in reply. James smiled against her lips.  
  
"I guess it was a good idea, then?"  
  
"The best," she whispered. "I can't believe you did this. I love you, James."  
  
"I love you," James whispered. He kissed her again. "Do you want to go inside?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm starving."  
  
James laughed, and took her hand. "Come on. I'm sure Madam Rosmerta will have a table open for us."  
  
Madam Rosmerta was thrilled to see them again. She asked about what they were doing with their lives, and about all their friends. She was duly impressed with their careers. She stayed to chat while they ate. Before they had finished, business picked up, and she had to wait on other tables.  
  
Left alone, James and Lily fell into silence. It wasn't awkward, or even slightly uncomfortable. They found themselves staring into each other's eyes, almost as though they were looking into one another's souls. Unconsciously, their hands drifted together on top of the table.  
  
"You tell those other boys that they had better get in here to see me." Madam Rosmerta reappeared, breaking the spell.  
  
James dragged his eyes away from Lily's, but didn't release her hand. "I will," he said. His voice a little hoarse, almost as though he had been caught snogging her at the table.  
  
Madam Rosmerta smiled fondly. "I've really missed having you boys in here. None of the new third years can compare with you."  
  
James smiled. "Well, I'm sure someone will come along someday."  
  
"Let's hope not," she replied, squeezing his shoulder. "I don't know if Hogwarts could handle more students like the four of you."  
  
"I'm not sure if that's a compliment or an insult."  
  
"Take it however you want," she laughed. "Here's your check."  
  
"Ah, come on, now," James laughed. "You were so excited to see me, but you're still going to charge me?"  
  
"I don't give freebies, James," she laughed.  
  
James shook his head, and handed over the money to pay for their meal. "Well, Lil, are you ready to go?"  
  
"Sure," she replied. "Where are we going next?"  
  
"I thought maybe we could walk around the park."  
  
"That sounds lovely."  
  
James took her hand, and led her to the park. He had discussed it with Sirius and Remus, and they had agreed that this would be the perfect place for his proposal. He glanced up at the sky. It was after dusk, and stars were beginning to shine. He noted that there wouldn't be a moon to light the sky, a fact for which Remus was grateful.  
  
Lily moved closer to him, and he looked away from the sky. His eyes fell on her face, and he grinned.  
  
"I love you," he said spontaneously.  
  
Lily looked up at him in confusion. "I love you, too, James."  
  
"I'm sorry. It was just . . . I . . ." He trailed into silence, and smiled helplessly. "Let's go sit over here, shall we?"  
  
Lily nodded, and walked with him to a bench. They sat down, and he looked at her. He had to do this. Sirius and Remus were right. She would say yes. She had just told him that she loved him. She wouldn't turn him down. He swallowed nervously.  
  
"Lil, you know that I love you," he began, taking her hand in his. "And my feelings are never going to change. I don't just love you for now – I'll love you forever. I want to know that you're going to be with me for the rest of my life. I want to have dinner with you every day, fall asleep next to you every night, and wake up with you every morning. I want to fight over who gets the shower first, to play evens and odds to see who has to clean up after meals, and to debate where we're going for our next holiday."  
  
As he spoke, tears began to gather in Lily's eyes. "James," she whispered.  
  
"No, let me finish," he said, feeling tears sting his own eyes. "I know that we're way too young for this, Lil, but we have to live like there's no tomorrow. Lily, I love you, and I want to be with you forever. Will you please marry me?"  
  
Tears slipped from Lily's eyes, and spilled down her cheeks. "Yes," she whispered. "Yes, James, I'll marry you."  
  
Eyes shining with tears, James reached into his pocket, and pulled out a box. He opened it, and held it for Lily. She gasped, her hands flying to her mouth.  
  
"Oh, James! It's too much!"  
  
"Nothing's too much for you," James grinned. He pulled the ring from its box, and held it between his first finger and thumb. "May I?"  
  
"Please," she whispered, holding out her hand.  
  
James slid the ring over her finger, feeling his own tears begin to fall. Lily looked down at the ring for a moment, then back up at him. She threw herself into his arms, holding him tightly.  
  
"I love you, James."  
  
"I love you, too," he whispered. He pulled back enough to kiss her.  
  
Lily pulled away from his kiss, and looked at him, an ecstatic smile on her face. "We're getting married!"  
  
"Yeah, we are," James grinned. "We're getting married!"  
  
"We have to tell our families, and our friends, and . . ." She looked at him for a moment. "The guys already know, don't they?"  
  
"Yeah, they do," James admitted sheepishly. "Who do you think helped me pick out that ring?"  
  
"How long have you been planning this?"  
  
"About a week."  
  
Lily shook her head. "I don't know how I didn't find out."  
  
"Only Sirius, Remus, and Peter knew, and they swore not to tell anyone. Sirius and Remus have helped me plan everything, but we had to owl Peter to let him know, too. So, they've all been in on it."  
  
Lily shook her head again, and kissed him again. "You're amazing."  
  
James smiled, holding her close. "Do you want to go tell your parents?"  
  
"Not right now," Lily replied, burying her face in his chest. "I want to be alone for awhile first."  
  
"Do you want to go back to my place?"  
  
"You want to be alone with Sirius and Remus?"  
  
"Remus is staying with Laura tonight, and Sirius is staying at your place."  
  
"You guys really did plan this!" A slightly nervous expression crossed her face.  
  
"Actually, they planned that part. They thought we might want to be alone for awhile." He looked at her, his expression completely serious. "I'm not asking you for anything, or pushing you into anything, Lily. We can just talk, or whatever you want. You're in charge."  
  
She kissed him again. When she pulled back and looked at him, the nerves had been replaced with love for him. "I don't want to just talk," she whispered. "Can we go now?"  
  
"Yeah," James said, his voice raspy again. "Yeah, let's go now." 


	4. Reactions and Plans

A/N: Okay, one more chapter of sweet happiness, and then the action will return! Enjoy the calm before the storm!  
  
I don't own Harry Potter.  
  
Reactions and Plans  
  
When James awoke the next morning, he was instantly aware of the weight beside him in his bed. He turned to his side, and saw Lily sleeping next to him. He grinned as the events of the previous night flooded back over him. Her hand was lying next to her face, her engagement ring glittering on her third finger. James grinned again, and leaned over to kiss her hand.  
  
Lily stirred slightly, and opened her eyes. She smiled when she saw him looking at her.  
  
"Good morning," he whispered.  
  
"Good morning," she replied with a smile. "How long have you been awake?"  
  
"About a minute," James said. "Sorry I woke you."  
  
"No, I'm glad you did." She shifted so that she could look at him easily. "Last night was . . . I love you, James."  
  
He grinned. "I love you, too."  
  
She lifted her hand, and looked at her ring in awe. "Did last night really happen? Are we really engaged?"  
  
"Yeah," James replied, kissing her nose. "It really happened. Every single moment."  
  
Lily grinned, and kissed him. "It's like a dream."  
  
"But we don't have to worry about waking up."  
  
Lily smiled, and fell back onto her back, her hair fanning out around her. "Do you realize how much we have to do today?"  
  
"I know we have a lot of people to talk to," James grinned, reaching down to play with her hair. "As I recall, we didn't break the news to anyone last night."  
  
"Well, you can't say we weren't busy," Lily replied with a grin of her own.  
  
James leaned over to kiss her. "Do you really want to get up right now?"  
  
Lily sighed against his lips. "Maybe not yet."  
  
A crack sounded in the air, and James pulled away from Lily. He smiled at her.  
  
"Sirius is home."  
  
"I guess we are getting up, then."  
  
"Well, you did say that we had a lot to do."  
  
They pulled themselves out of bed. James grabbed a pair of boxers and a t- shirt to wear to breakfast. Lily picked up the clothes she had been wearing the night before. James looked at her for a moment.  
  
"You're wearing that again?"  
  
"Do you have a better suggestion? I didn't exactly pack to spend the night."  
  
"Do you want to borrow something?"  
  
"I'll be fine. I'll just have to go home and change before we visit our parents."  
  
James nodded. Once they were both dressed, they made their way into the kitchen. Sirius was already at work, busy making eggs for breakfast.  
  
"Good morning," he said with a grin. His eyes lit up when they fell on Lily. "Congratulations!"  
  
James laughed. "You don't know that she said yes!"  
  
"Yes, I do. The fact that she's here right now says it all." He abandoned his frying pan, and grabbed Lily. He pulled her into bear hug that lifted her off the ground, and swung her around the kitchen. "Welcome to the family!"  
  
Lily giggled. "Put me down, Sirius!"  
  
He complied, and kissed the top of her head. "I told Prongs that you'd say yes. I'm so excited for you guys!"  
  
"Did you tell Olivia and Dana last night?"  
  
"No way. That's your news to tell, not mine."  
  
Lily turned to look at James. "Let's tell them first. I have to go home to change, anyway. Then we can tell our parents."  
  
James nodded his agreement. "Fine by me."  
  
Sirius looked at them with a grin. "This is the best news ever."  
  
***  
  
The girls were, of course, thrilled. They both cried, flinging their arms around both Lily and James. Lily watched Olivia thoughtfully as she hugged James. Unwillingly, her thoughts turned to their sixth year, when the two had been a couple.  
  
"Don't, Lils."  
  
Lily looked away from James and Olivia to Dana. "Don't what?"  
  
"Don't think about that."  
  
"How do you know what I'm thinking?"  
  
"It's written plainly on your face. James loves YOU, all right? He was only with Liv for a few months, and it was obvious to everyone that they had far too many problems to make it as a couple. I mean, they were only sixteen! Don't let it ruin a moment of your happiness."  
  
"I won't," Lily replied. She looked at her friend again. "Dana, you were the first one who saw me falling for James. You were the one who spent all that time trying to make me admit that I liked him. You were the one who helped me realize that he meant so much to me – without you, I don't even know if I'd be here right now, celebrating my engagement."  
  
"Oh, Lils, you and James would have found your way together without me."  
  
"No, Dana, I . . ." She trailed off, and smiled. "Dana, I want you to be right there beside me when I marry James. Will you be my maid of honor?"  
  
"Lily! Oh my gosh! I'd love to!"  
  
"Really?" Lily beamed.  
  
"Really," Dana said, her own face lit up with a smile. "Thank you so much, Lils. This is incredible!"  
  
"What's incredible?" James asked, looking over at the two girls.  
  
"Dana's agreed to be our maid of honor," Lily said, still beaming.  
  
"Hey, that's great!" James exclaimed.  
  
"Good for you, Dana," Olivia smiled. A shadow of disappointment crossed her eyes.  
  
"You'll be one of my bridesmaids, won't you, Liv?" Lily asked. "Please?"  
  
"I'd love to," Olivia replied, grinning. "Thanks, Lil."  
  
"I couldn't do this without you two."  
  
James looked thoughtful. "I guess this means I need to pick a best man."  
  
"I wonder who you're thinking of," Lily smiled.  
  
James grinned. "Well, all three guys are going to be a part of this, so you need one more bridesmaid."  
  
Now it was Lily's turn to look thoughtful. "I'll have to think about that one."  
  
"Think about it later!" Dana exclaimed. "Let us see your ring!"  
  
"Ooo, yes, let's see!" Olivia cried, rushing over to grab Lily's hand.  
  
"Here it is," Lily laughed, extending her hand.  
  
"It's gorgeous," Dana breathed. "Good pick, James!"  
  
"Well, I had some help," James admitted. "Sirius and Remus were there, too."  
  
"All three of you have good taste, then," Olivia smiled.  
  
"Uh-oh," Dana giggled. "I think that Liv's thinking about her own engagement ring now!"  
  
"No way!" Olivia giggled. "Sirius and I definitely aren't ready for marriage!" She paused, and grinned. "But when we are . . . James, you and Remus had better be in on the ring selection process!"  
  
***  
  
They elected to visit James' parents first. They planned to Apparate to their house, then ask to borrow their car to go to Lily's parents' house. The Ministry still required special permission to Apparate to Muggle houses, and the Floo connection to their fireplace had long-since expired.  
  
They Apparated into the Potters' front yard. Lily looked up at the imposing house, and moved closer to James.  
  
"You aren't scared of my parents, are you?" James teased.  
  
"No, it's not that," she said. "I was just thinking of the last time we were here, that's all."  
  
James looked down at her, sobering considerably. The last time Lily had visited his parents' house, Sirius had given the news of Kathleen's death.  
  
"Well, nothing like that is going to happen this time," James said confidently. "Everyone is safe."  
  
"For now," Lily said quietly.  
  
"Hey, none of that," he said, grabbing her hand. He ran his fingers over her ring. "We're here for happy news, remember?"  
  
"I know," she said, giving him a smile that made his heart flip.  
  
"Let's go inside," he said, leading her up the front walk.  
  
"These flowers are gorgeous!" Lily exclaimed as they walked to the front door.  
  
James laughed. "You'll have to tell my mum. She's very proud of her flowers – and you're the only one other than Sirius who has been impressed."  
  
"How could you not be impressed? These are amazing!"  
  
James laughed again, and knocked on the door. "I hope they're home, or this is going to be very anticlimactic."  
  
Hetty opened the door. Her eyes grew round as she looked at James.  
  
"Master James!" she exclaimed. She threw her arms around his waist. "Hetty is happy to see you, sir!"  
  
"It's good to see you, too," James grinned, hugging the small elf.  
  
"What is you doing here, sir?"  
  
"I came to see everyone," James laughed. "Do you remember Lily, Hetty?"  
  
"Of course!" Hetty moved aside to let them into the house. "You both is welcome! Hetty will find your parents, sir!"  
  
She scurried away, and Lily turned to James.  
  
"She's sweet."  
  
"She is," James agreed. "She's good to the family."  
  
"As I recall, the family is good to her, as well."  
  
"We try."  
  
"James!" Mrs. Potter ran into the foyer, and swept her son into her arms. "How are you? How's your training coming? Do you like your job? How are the other boys?"  
  
James laughed. "Hi, Mum. I've missed you, too."  
  
Mrs. Potter pulled back, still beaming at him. "You don't come to see us nearly enough."  
  
"I know. I'm sorry."  
  
Mr. Potter came into the room, his own face lit with a smile. "James! Good to have you home, son!"  
  
James grinned, and shook his father's hand. "It's good to be home." He turned away from his parents, taking Lily's hand to pull her forward. "I brought Lily with me this time."  
  
"How wonderful!" Mrs. Potter smiled, giving Lily a welcoming embrace. "It's good to see you again, darling. How is adulthood going for you?"  
  
"Very well," Lily replied with a beaming smile.  
  
"Hello, dear," Mr. Potter said, hugging her. "James tells us you're training to join the Order as well."  
  
"Yes, I am," Lily replied. "The training has been strenuous – but I'm sure it's going to be worth it in the end."  
  
"It will be," Mr. Potter said confidently. "You're both going to be invaluable members."  
  
"Well, come in and sit down," Mrs. Potter said, leading them into the house. "Have you had breakfast?"  
  
"Yes, we ate with Sirius before we came," James said. He realized too late that his statement implied that Lily had spent the night with him, but his parents either didn't notice or overlooked it.  
  
"We'll just have tea, then," Mrs. Potter murmured.  
  
"Oh, Mum, you don't have to –"  
  
"Don't be silly," she said, cutting him off. "You know that I want to. Where is Hetty?"  
  
"Right here!" Hetty exclaimed as she hurried into the sunroom. "What is you liking, Mistress?"  
  
"Just some tea, please, Hetty," Mrs. Potter replied.  
  
Hetty nodded, and hurried off toward the kitchen. Mrs. Potter watched her go, then indicated for everyone to sit down.  
  
"Now," Mrs. Potter said once they were seated, "tell us all your news. What has happened in your lives since the last time we saw you?"  
  
James looked at Lily, and she nodded. He took her hand in his.  
  
"Well, we have some very big news for you," James said. "Lily and I are getting married!"  
  
"Married?" Mrs. Potter cried. Tears filled her eyes as she jumped out of her seat. "You're getting married?"  
  
"Yes," James grinned. "I just asked Lily last night, and she said yes."  
  
"Oh, my goodness – oh, James – my little boy – oh, Jamie!" She grabbed him, and pulled him into a crushing embrace.  
  
James laughed, and returned the hug. "I'm glad you're excited, Mum."  
  
"Of course I am!" she cried. She released her son, wiping tears from her face. "Oh, Lily!" she exclaimed, pulling her close.  
  
Lily hugged Mrs. Potter with relief flowing through her. She had been a bit concerned that their parents would try to tell them that they were too young, but the Potters were handling it just fine.  
  
"Congratulations, James," Mr. Potter said, pulling his son close. "Are you happy?"  
  
"Happy doesn't go far enough," James grinned. "She's incredible."  
  
His father nodded. "That's what matters."  
  
Mrs. Potter released Lily, and Mr. Potter hugged her. "Well, it looks like you're our daughter now," he grinned. "Are you sure you're ready to become a Potter?"  
  
"I've never wanted anything so much," she replied. "I love James so much – I'm proud to become a part of your family."  
  
Mr. Potter shook his head. "OUR family now, Lily. It's your family too."  
  
Once the congratulations were over, they seated themselves again. Hetty returned with the tea, and was given the very exciting news. She was thrilled; tears of happiness leaked from her eyes.  
  
"Miss Lily, you is perfect for Master James," she said.  
  
"Thanks, Hetty," Lily smiled.  
  
"When will the wedding be?" Mrs. Potter asked as she poured the tea.  
  
"We haven't discussed it yet," James admitted. "This engagement thing is very new to us."  
  
"My sister is getting married next month," Lily added. "I want to get through her wedding before I worry about ours."  
  
"That's probably for the best," Mrs. Potter agreed. "You have plenty of time to make all your decisions."  
  
"We do have a request," James said.  
  
"What's that?" Mr. Potter asked.  
  
"Can we borrow the car?"  
  
Mr. Potter burst into laughter. "Well, there's something I can honestly say you've never asked me before! Why do you need the car?"  
  
"We want to tell Lily's parents about our engagement," James explained. "But they're Muggles, so we can't just Apparate to their house."  
  
"Ah," Mr. Potter nodded. "I suppose you can take the car, then. Do you know how to drive, James? Last time I checked, you were opposed to learning."  
  
"I do," Lily said. She grinned. "What good Muggle-born girl doesn't know how to drive?"  
  
"Excellent," Mr. Potter replied. "Maybe you could even teach James. He never wanted to learn from me."  
  
They finished their tea, and Mr. Potter gave Lily the car keys. They all went outside together; Mr. and Mrs. Potter wanted to watch Lily drive.  
  
"They're making me nervous," she muttered as she backed the car down the driveway.  
  
"I think they're excited to see someone drive who was taught by Muggles," James grinned. "Thank goodness you know what you're doing. I've never wanted to learn to drive – I thought I was a waste of time. Why drive when you can Apparate?"  
  
"Indeed," Lily said as she turned onto the street. She honked the horn, and she and James waved good bye to his parents. "I'm sure you can see the usefulness now."  
  
"Not really," James replied with a cheeky grin. "I have you to do it for me."  
  
"Prat."  
  
"You love it."  
  
"I love you," Lily smiled.  
  
"I love you, too," James replied, leaning over to kiss her cheek.  
  
"Please, James, I'm trying to drive."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"It's all right." She paused. "James, there's something I'm thinking of doing, but I want your opinion first."  
  
"All right. What do you want to do?"  
  
"I want to ask Petunia to be one of my bridesmaids."  
  
"Your sister?"  
  
"Do you know any other Petunias?"  
  
"No, I'm just surprised, that's all."  
  
"Do you think it's odd for me to want my sister to be a part of my wedding?"  
  
"No," James replied with a slight frown. "I just think it's odd because you don't get along with your sister. As I recall, you aren't exactly excited about being a part of her wedding."  
  
"No, I'm not," Lily admitted. "But that's because I know that she doesn't really want me to be a part of it. The only reason I'm in the wedding at all is because my mother insisted that I should be. But I do want her to be in our wedding. Things have been so wrong between us for so long, and this seems like the thing to start fixing it all."  
  
"Are you sure you want to do this?"  
  
"I'm sure. I don't want her to be the maid of honor, but I want her to be there, and to be a part of it." She sighed. "I don't even know for sure that she'll agree to be in the wedding. I mean, I know that we haven't gotten along since we were little, but she's still my sister, and I still love her. I just want things to be right between us again."  
  
"I can't pretend to understand what you're going through," James said. "I don't have any siblings, so I don't have these kinds of issues. But I understand that you love her, and I understand your desire to fix your relationship. I'm sure that our wedding is the perfect thing to do that. We have so much love for one another, Lil, that I can't imagine anything but love and happiness on our wedding day."  
  
Lily smiled. "That was beautiful, James."  
  
"Well, I am known for my speeches."  
  
"Way to ruin the moment," she giggled.  
  
James reached over to touch her hand. "Ask Petunia, Lil. I'm sure she'll agree."  
  
"At least one of us is."  
  
***  
  
Lily's parents were just as excited as the Potters had been about James and Lily's engagement. Like Mrs. Potter, Mrs. Evans burst into tears when Lily told them the news. Mr. Evans looked close to tears himself as he drew his youngest daughter into an embrace. Once he had released Lily, he shook James' hand, pulling him closer.  
  
"You know that I've approved of your relationship with Lily from the beginning," he said. "I know that you love her, and that you'll stand by her."  
  
"Thank you, sir," James replied. He didn't know what else to say.  
  
"But remember this," Mr. Evans added, "Lily is very special to me. She's told me something of the work that the two of you and your friends are doing. I'm proud of her – and of you. But, please, James, don't let anything happen to her. Please take care of my little girl."  
  
James looked at him solemnly. "I will, Mr. Evans. I'll protect her with my life. I couldn't live with myself if I let anything happen to her."  
  
"Good," Mr. Evans replied, pulling him into a hug. "Welcome to the family, James."  
  
"Thanks," James said, relieved to have that heavy conversation behind him.  
  
Mr. Evans' eyes twinkled when he looked at James again. "You know, I think you're my favorite son-in-law."  
  
James laughed. "We aren't married yet, sir."  
  
"You will be soon enough."  
  
The door opened, and Mrs. Evans, who had been exclaiming over Lily's engagement ring, looked up. Her face lit up with a smile.  
  
"Petunia! What perfect timing!"  
  
Petunia looked at James and Lily, and forced a smile. "Perfect timing for what? To see Lily?"  
  
"Well, yes, but Lily and James have news! Go on, sweetie, tell her!"  
  
Lily smiled a bit nervously. "James and I are engaged, Petunia. We're getting married."  
  
Petunia's eyes widened. "What?"  
  
"He just asked me last night, and I accepted. We're getting married."  
  
Petunia looked at her sister in open-mouthed shock. James would have laughed at her expression if there had been less tension in the room.  
  
"Petunia, don't you have something to say to your sister?" Mrs. Evans prompted.  
  
"Yes, I do, Mum," Petunia said, her eyes narrowing. She turned to look at Lily. "How could you do this to our family?" she spat.  
  
James crossed the room to stand next to Lily, putting his hand on her arm. "What are you on about?" he exclaimed.  
  
"No, James, leave this to me," Lily said quietly. She turned to her sister. "Petunia," she began.  
  
"Don't you 'Petunia' me as if you don't know what I'm talking about!"  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about!" Lily exclaimed. "I came here today to tell you all that James and I are getting married, and to ask you, Petunia, to be one of my bridesmaids. That's all. That's the whole reason I'm here."  
  
"Lily!" Mrs. Evans exclaimed. "How sweet of you to include your sister! Petunia will be thrilled to be a part of your wedding!"  
  
"Don't answer for me, Mum!" Petunia yelled. "I have no intention of being a part of Lily's wedding!"  
  
"Petunia, please!" Lily exclaimed. "I hate having this rift between us. I just want to make it right!"  
  
"Well, you can't," Petunia replied hatefully. "You're a freak, Lily, and so is this boy that you're marrying. You'll have children one day, and they'll be just like you!"  
  
"I hope they are," James said, entering into the conversation.  
  
"James, please," Lily said softly.  
  
"No, Lil," James said. "I can't stand here and listen to this! Petunia, Lily came here today hoping that you could share in her happiness the same way that she shares in the happiness of your engagement. Lily is one of the best people I've ever met. She's the sweetest, kindest . . . If you can't see your sister for the person she is, rather than for the abilities she has, then you've got more problems than I care to think about. She deserves to be treated with respect, not disdain."  
  
Petunia looked at him in surprise for a moment before her eyes narrowed again. "You want me to look past her 'abilities?' By abilities do you mean freakish problems? I was right about you, Potter. You're no good for Lily, or for this family. We don't need more of your kind! My parents and I don't need more reminders of –"  
  
"Of what?" Lily said in a low voice. "Of my unnaturalness? Of the world I live in? Of the person I am?"  
  
"Lily, stop that," Mr. Evans said. His eyes narrowed in anger to look just like Petunia's. "Petunia, I'm sure I don't know what your problem is, or why you can't just be happy for your sister. I would have thought that you would have gotten over your issues with Lily during the past eight years."  
  
"Well, you were wrong."  
  
"You need to try harder, then," Mr. Evans said. "Lily and James are welcome here anytime, the same as you and Vernon are. When you are in this house, you will treat them with respect."  
  
Petunia looked at James and Lily with distaste. "Fine," she said. "If that's what you want, Daddy, that's what will happen."  
  
"Good. Now, will you accept your sister's offer to be a part of her wedding?"  
  
Petunia looked at Lily, her expression softening for the first time. "Do you really want me to be a bridesmaid?"  
  
"Of course," Lily said. "I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't want you to be there."  
  
Petunia nodded. "All right, then."  
  
Lily smiled. "Good! Thank you, Petunia."  
  
***  
  
It was late when James arrived back at his flat that night. After spending time with Lily's family, they had returned the car to James' parents, then gone back to the girls' flat. The girls had been eager to hear all about how James proposed – which they declared to be the sweetest story they had ever heard – then promptly jumped into wedding plans. All told, James was rather relieved to return to the quiet of his own flat. When he walked in, Sirius was sitting alone, reading a thick textbook.  
  
"Tell me I'm not seeing this," James said as he sat down next to Sirius on the couch. "Do you actually have a book in your hands? Are you actually studying?"  
  
"Leave me alone," Sirius replied with a grin. He shut his book, and tossed it aside. "Moody is a slave driver! The amount of reading he expects us to have done is ridiculous! And it's not like Hogwarts – I can't fake my way through it." He sighed, and leaned back on the couch. "How did your families take the news?"  
  
"They were thrilled," James grinned. "Both of our mothers cried. Actually, so did Dana and Olivia when we told them."  
  
"Well, it's been a long time coming," Sirius replied.  
  
"Padfoot, we've only been out of school for two months!"  
  
"Yeah, but we've been watching you guys fall in love for years."  
  
"Oh, come on! Lily wouldn't even talk to me until last year."  
  
"Yeah, but she noticed you before that. She just wouldn't admit it because she didn't think you were good enough for her. I guess she's changed her mind since then."  
  
James grinned. "It's all in the past. She's mine now."  
  
"So she is."  
  
"Sirius, I need to ask you something."  
  
"Anything."  
  
"Well, Lily has her bridesmaids all set, but I haven't even started picking my groomsmen. She told me to get on it, and . . . Sirius, you've been my best friend ever since first year. I know Remus and Peter have always been there, too, and you know that I love them like brothers, but, well . . . Every time I was in detention, you were there with me. Every time I learned to do something, it was because you were there competing with me. Through everything that's happened, you've been by my side, and that's something that I don't want to change now. Sirius, you've been my best friend and my brother for eight years, and now I'm asking you to be my best man."  
  
Sirius grinned. "Really?"  
  
"Really. Will you?"  
  
"You didn't even need to ask," Sirius said, grabbing James' shoulder. "You know I'll be there for you, mate. And when you and Lily have kids, I'll be there to be Uncle Sirius. When you guys need anything, I'll be there to help. You're stuck with me, mate. I'm never going away."  
  
James grinned. "Thanks, Padfoot."  
  
"You don't need to thank me. You just need to promise to do the same for me."  
  
"Like you just said – you don't even need to ask."  
  
"Good. Now, what's next on your list of things to do?"  
  
"I need to talk to Remus when he gets back, and to owl Peter. I need my groomsmen!" He laughed. "Lily and girls are already talking wedding plans – I think you guys and I may need to talk about calming beverages."  
  
"Well, how about we start your therapeutic drinking with a party?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Sure! You guys need an engagement party! Leave it to me, James. I'll plan everything."  
  
"Should I be worried?"  
  
"Not at all! I've got it under control."  
  
James laughed. "Now I KNOW I should be worried!" 


	5. The Order of the Phoenix

A/N: Okay, so I made you wait a week for this chapter. I'm sorry! Just as a heads up, I'm not sure that I'll be able to update more than once a week until the school year ends. Even my weekends are really busy this month – granted, that's with parties, but those take up time, too! So, I'm sorry, and I hope you'll stick with me!  
  
Also, a note on the bridesmaids – yeah, Lily stiffed Laura to ask Petunia. But remember how upset Petunia got in OotP when she realized that the person who had killed her sister was back? I think that although they were always fighting, but they really did love one another – and this was a way for Lily to show that she still loved Petunia. As for Dana and Olivia – I looked back over the Hogwarts portion of the story, and Dana was Lily's chief confidante during the period when she struggled with her feelings for James, so it makes sense for her to be the maid of honor. Whew! I hope that answers some of your questions. Now, on with the show!  
  
I don't own the Harry Potter universe.  
  
The Order of the Phoenix  
  
"Tell me again why we thought this was a good idea?"  
  
"Sirius wants to do this for us," James grinned as he and Lily walked up the stairs to his flat. "It should be fun!"  
  
Lily shook her head. "I've never thought of Sirius as an engagement party planner."  
  
"Well, Remus, Peter, Dana, Olivia, and Laura have been helping him. In fact, they're the ones who kicked me out so they could get everything ready."  
  
Lily giggled. "It's better this way. Now we can arrive together."  
  
"Yeah, that's true." James grinned at her, and kissed her hand. "Are you ready?"  
  
"Let's do it."  
  
James opened the door to the flat, revealing the party scene. Sirius, who had been watching the door, grinned at the sight of them.  
  
"Oy! Our guests of honor are here!"  
  
A cheer went through the crowd, and people surged forward to greet James and Lily. They were both amazed by the number of people who had come to celebrate their engagement. Their parents were there, as well as friends from Hogwarts, some of their professors, and even Dumbledore, Hagrid, Moody, and Longbottom were there. James noticed a woman holding onto Frank's arm, laughing at a joke that someone had told. He looked at Lily.  
  
"Who's that woman with Longbottom?"  
  
Lily's eyes swept across the room. "I've never met her."  
  
"That's his wife, Alice," said Sirius, who was standing near enough to hear the exchange. "I still can't believe that he's married."  
  
James grinned. "Yeah, he and Moody seem rather married to their work."  
  
"Well, Moody is," Sirius affirmed. "But both Longbottoms are Aurors. I guess that makes it easier – you know, working together and all. Mrs. Longbottom is really nice. See how she's laughing now? That's how she is all the time. She's always happy. She's very friendly. I think she's the reason Frank isn't like Moody." He grinned. "Do you want to meet her?"  
  
"Sure," James said. "She's at our party, after all – I think we should say hello to everyone, don't you, Lil?"  
  
"Yeah," Lily agreed. "Will you introduce us, Sirius?"  
  
"Sure. Let's go."  
  
They crossed the room together. Frank's eyes lit up when he saw them.  
  
"James! Lily!" He held out his hand to shake theirs. "Congratulations on your engagement."  
  
"Thanks," James grinned. He had to admit that there might be something to what Sirius said – Frank seemed far more pleasant in the company of his wife.  
  
"This is my wife, Alice. Alice, this is James Potter, and this is Lily Evans. They're both in training to join the Order."  
  
"Oh, it's wonderful to finally meet you!" she exclaimed, shaking both their hands. "Frank talks about his new recruits all the time. He thinks very highly of all of you. We can't wait to welcome you to the Order."  
  
Lily smiled. "We're very honored to be considered for membership. It's been wonderful working with your husband."  
  
Alice waved her hand. "Don't try to flatter him. I know that he works you to the point of exhaustion." She sighed. "I wish I could say that he works you too hard, but I'm afraid he doesn't. It's going to be the same once you start with the Order – it's going to be the same until this war ends." She shook her head, a smile taking over her features once more. "But we're not here to talk about the war or the Order. We're here to celebrate your engagement! Do you have a wedding date yet?"  
  
"We're thinking of December," Lily said, thankful that she and James had made that decision the previous day.  
  
"Oh, that will be lovely," Alice smiled. "You'll have the snow on the ground, and everyone will be in a festive mood for Christmas." She made a face. "Frank and I were married in March. It's a horribly contrary month – one day there's sunshine, the next it's snowing without pause." She looked at her husband fondly. "The only good thing about the month is our anniversary."  
  
Frank grinned, and took her hand. "Well, at least now there's something to celebrate in March."  
  
"How long have you been married?" Lily asked curiously.  
  
"Five years," Frank replied. "Moody about had a coronary when we told him we were engaged. We were a little older than you, but it was right after we finished our training. He doesn't think that Aurors should be allowed to marry – but we pointed to your father, James. He's one of the best Aurors we have, and he has a family. Moody wasn't happy about it until the past two years. I think he's finally realized that we haven't let our personal life get in the way of our profession life."  
  
"You two can do it, too," Alice said, her eyes twinkling at them. "Are you the two who are in the Auror Academy?"  
  
"No, I work for the Ministry," James said. "I'm in the Department of International Magical Cooperation."  
  
"Oh, you're the one who Dumbledore . . . Right," she smiled. "And you, Lily?"  
  
"I work for the Daily Prophet," Lily said with a slight smile.  
  
"It's about time someone with half a brain started writing for them," Alice muttered.  
  
Lily's eyes widened slightly. "Well, I only work for the sports section."  
  
"That will change," Alice predicted. She smiled. "I don't mean to speak ill of your coworkers, but the rubbish that the Daily Prophet is printing about the war makes me sick. Our lives would be a hundred times easier if they would do what they're supposed to, and investigate their stories before they print them."  
  
Lily opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by the pair of arms that were thrown around her shoulders from behind. She jumped, and turned around.  
  
"Congratulations!"  
  
Lily gasped. "Minnie?" she asked incredulously.  
  
"It's me!" Minnie exclaimed. "I can't believe how long it's been since we last saw you!" She pulled back to look at Lily. "You've grown up so much, Lily. I just – I can't believe it!"  
  
"Minnie?"  
  
"James!" Minnie released Lily, and hugged James. "I still can't believe that Dumbledore made you Head Boy!"  
  
"You heard about that, huh?" James laughed.  
  
"Sirius told us when he invited us to the party."  
  
"Is Adam here, then?"  
  
"Of course!" She glanced around the room, and spotted him talking to Peter and Remus. "Come on, I'll take you to him."  
  
"Excuse us," James said to the Longbottoms.  
  
"Oh, no, you need to socialize at your own party," Frank smiled. "We'll have a chance to talk later, I'm sure."  
  
Minnie whisked James and Lily across the room, stopping where the three boys were talking. She grinned, and tapped Adam's shoulder.  
  
"Can you guess who these two are?"  
  
Adam turned, and a grin spread across his face. "James Potter and Lily Evans! Well, look at you. You're all grown up!" He pulled Lily into a hug, then shook James' hand. "I can't believe it! I never thought that the two of you would get married."  
  
"Well, thanks for that vote of confidence," James laughed.  
  
"No, I didn't mean it that way," Adam laughed. "It's just that you were both so young when we graduated – it's weird to think of you as adults, I guess."  
  
Lily looked from Adam to Minnie. "Are you two still together, then?"  
  
"Actually, we're engaged, too," Minnie grinned.  
  
"Congratulations!" Lily squealed, throwing her arms around Minnie. "When's the wedding?"  
  
"October," Minnie replied. "Let me give you some advice. If you haven't started planning everything, start now. It's more work than I ever dreamed!"  
  
Lily laughed. "We'll get started tomorrow."  
  
"Good girl."  
  
"So what else are you two doing with your lives?" Adam asked. "Where are you working?"  
  
"I work for the Ministry," James replied.  
  
"Really?" Adam asked. "What department?"  
  
"International Magical Cooperation."  
  
"I'm in Magical Games and Sports."  
  
"Hey, that's right! I completely forgot!" James exclaimed.  
  
"I wish I had known that you started – I would have been over to visit you." He grinned. "And that's a sacrifice for me – I'd have to see Fudge in action."  
  
"Oh, isn't he horrible?" James asked with a grimace.  
  
"I'm impressed you're able to work with him," Adam said. "You do escape for lunch, right?"  
  
"Yeah. Usually I go out with Laura for lunch – Remus' girlfriend. Have you met her? She works in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement."  
  
"No, I haven't met her yet," Adam said, giving Remus a look.  
  
"I'll take that as a hint to go find her for an introduction," Remus laughed. "Peter, do you know where she is?"  
  
Peter shook his head. "Need help finding her?"  
  
"If you don't mind."  
  
"Not at all."  
  
"What about you, Lily? Where do you work?" Adam asked as Remus and Peter walked off.  
  
"The Daily Prophet."  
  
"So do I!" Minnie exclaimed. She frowned slightly. "What section?"  
  
Lily glanced at Adam. "Sports."  
  
Adam grinned. "I love this girl."  
  
Minnie laughed. "I'm an investigative writer. If you need any help, or just want to talk, please come and find me. My office is on the fifth floor."  
  
"Thanks," Lily replied with a grin.  
  
Remus and Peter reappeared with Laura, who was given her introduction to Adam and Minnie. While the others were engaged in conversation, James grabbed Peter's sleeve.  
  
"Hey," he said.  
  
"Are you having fun?" Peter asked. "Sirius said you were concerned about his party-planning skills, but I think everything is going well."  
  
"The party's great," James grinned. "Sirius did a great job – and I know that you guys helped a fair amount."  
  
Peter shrugged. "You'd do the same for me."  
  
"You bet." James paused, looking at his friend critically. "Are you all right, Peter? We hardly ever hear from you anymore. Is your dad getting worse?"  
  
Peter gave a harsh laugh. "Actually, he's getting better. I always knew he'd pull through just to spite me."  
  
James flinched at the harsh tone his friend was using. "And everything else?"  
  
"It's tough, James," Peter admitted, his face falling slightly. "I'm so glad to be here with you guys, even if it's only for a little while – it makes me feel normal again."  
  
James nodded, even though he had no idea what Peter meant by "normal."  
  
Peter sighed, and ran his hands over his face. When he looked at James again, his eyes were full of pain. "My mum's sick, James."  
  
James' eyes widened. Peter's mother was the most important person to him. If something happened to her . . . "She's seeing a Healer, right?"  
  
"Of course," Peter said. "They just aren't really sure what's wrong with her at this point."  
  
"Oh, man, Peter, I'm sorry. If there's anything I can do, any way I can help . . ."  
  
"I'll let you know," Peter promised. "Just – just keep her in your prayers, all right?"  
  
"Done," James replied without hesitation.  
  
"Hey, Potter, are you in for lunch with Laura and I tomorrow?"  
  
James pulled his eyes away from Peter's face, and looked over at Adam. "Sure," he replied with a smile he didn't really feel. "Anything to get away from Fudge!"  
  
Adam laughed heartily. "If you ever get bored, all you have to do is come up to my office – there's always something going on up there!"  
  
"May I have your attention, please?"  
  
All conversations stopped, and all eyes turned to the center of the room. Sirius pointed his wand at his throat, removing the charm that had magnified his voice.  
  
"Thanks," he said a bit hoarsely. "I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone for attending this party on behalf of James and Lily. And, I also wanted to present them with their engagement gift from Remus, Peter, Olivia, Dana, Laura, and I."  
  
James and Lily moved forward a bit apprehensively. What had their friends done? James was sure that Remus would have made sure it wasn't anything too wild, but still . . .  
  
"Well, it's actually outside, but you can see it from the balcony," Sirius said. "So, if you'll please step this way, we can get a look at it."  
  
"Do you know anything about this?" Lily muttered.  
  
"Not a thing," James replied.  
  
They made it out onto the balcony, where Sirius gave them a triumphant grin. He held his lit wand up like a spotlight, and pointed it down on a car.  
  
"Behold!" he exclaimed.  
  
"You got us a car?" Lily gasped.  
  
"That we did! We figured you'd want to visit your parents from time to time, and that borrowing James' parents' car wouldn't always be easy, so . . . Laura and Dana picked it out. They know more about cars than the rest of us put together. I really hope you like it."  
  
James looked at Lily. Tears shone in her eyes as she threw her arms around Sirius. Her happiness was enough for him. He grinned, and clapped Sirius' shoulder.  
  
"Thanks, mate."  
  
"Sirius, this is the most wonderful thing you've ever done for us!" Lily exclaimed.  
  
Sirius chucked her under the chin. "Anything for James' princess."  
  
***  
  
Lily walked into the Three Broomsticks rather nervously. She was meeting Ludo Bagman for their first interview, and was more than a little concerned. She had been practicing interviews all week with her coworkers, so that wasn't the part that worried her – it was talking to Mr. Bagman that made her knees shake. Talking to an international Quidditch star in and of itself was a bit intimidating, but the fact that he was a Beater only added to her nerves. Although she had never admitted it to anyone, she had always been a bit afraid of the Beaters on the House teams at Hogwarts. She clutched her portfolio tightly as she looked around the bar. Madam Rosmerta noticed her, and crossed to greet her.  
  
"Hi, honey," she smiled. "Where are the boys today?"  
  
"Oh, I'm here on business," Lily replied. "I'm doing an interview for the Daily Prophet."  
  
"Really?" Madam Rosmerta asked, her eyebrows slightly raised. "Who are you meeting?"  
  
"Ludo Bagman."  
  
Madam Rosmerta grinned. "Well, pick a table. I'd certainly know if he was already here. He always has a crowd around him asking for autographs. I can't complain though – they usually buy drinks while they're waiting to talk to him." She winked a Lily. "You find a seat, honey, and I'll send him over to you as soon as he walks in."  
  
"Thanks," Lily said with a feeble attempt at a smile. She looked around, and chose and empty table. Once she was seated, she placed her quill and parchment on the table.  
  
She had only waited about five minutes when the door opened, and Ludo Bagman himself entered the bar. People immediately approached him for autographs, but Madam Rosmerta chased them away. She pointed Lily out, and Ludo nodded briefly, then crossed the bar to join her. Lily smiled, and rose from her seat to greet him.  
  
"Hello, hello!" Ludo said cheerfully. "You must be Miss Evans!"  
  
"Hello, Mr. Bagman," Lily said with a smile. Perhaps he wouldn't be as intimidating as she had feared. He had a little boy-ish quality about him that was rather endearing.  
  
"Please, none of that! Call me Ludo."  
  
Her nerves melted away. "If you prefer."  
  
"I do," he grinned. "Sit down, sit down. I'm sure you have plenty of questions that we need to get through."  
  
"I do," Lily replied, the advice of her editor at the top of her thoughts. "But first, I have to tell you that my fiancé and one of my best friends are huge fans of yours – when we're done with the interview, do you think you could give me autographs to give to them? I think that if I go home empty-handed, they'll throw me out of their lives forever!"  
  
"Well, we can't have that!" Ludo laughed. "Sure, I'd love to give them autographs. They're Quidditch fans?"  
  
"They were both on the Gryffindor team," Lily replied promptly. "My friend, Olivia, was the captain during sixth and seventh year."  
  
"Well, good for them! Are they still playing?"  
  
"No, James works for the Ministry, and Olivia's working on becoming an Auror. For now, they have to settle for watching you play."  
  
Ludo grinned. "Well, I try to make it interesting for them."  
  
"And you do an excellent job," Lily replied. She tapped her quill with her wand and placed it on the parchment to take notes while they talked. "May I begin by asking why you chose to play Quidditch?"  
  
"Oh, that's a great story!" Ludo said enthusiastically.  
  
***  
  
Two hours later, the interview ended. Lily smiled at Ludo as she tucked her quill and several sheets of parchment into her portfolio.  
  
"It's been great talking with you, Ludo," she said. "Thank you so much for agreeing to meet with me today."  
  
"This has been a great interview," Ludo replied with a smile of his own. "If you ever want to do this again, let me know."  
  
"Really?" Lily could already imagine the reactions she was going to get from James and Olivia when she told them that Ludo Bagman was willing to grant her another interview.  
  
"Definitely," Ludo affirmed. He took two pictures from his portfolio, and signed them with flourish. "Here, these are for your fiancé and your friend." He paused, and smiled again. "I've really enjoyed talking with you, Lily, and I'm sure that you'll write this into a great story."  
  
Lily smiled. "I'll send you a copy as soon as it's done."  
  
"Thanks!" Ludo glanced at his watch. "Ugh, I'm going to be late for practice. Tell your fiancé and your friend that I said hello! I'll be waiting for your owl with the story!"  
  
With that, he Dispparated, leaving Lily alone at the table. Madam Rosmerta crossed to talk to her.  
  
"Well! How did it go with Ludo?"  
  
"Very well," Lily replied.  
  
"I thought that it must be, for as long as he was here with you." She glanced down at the autographed pictures on the table. "Are those for James?"  
  
"One's for him, and the other's for Olivia."  
  
Madam Rosmerta grinned. "Good to see that you've gotten on Ludo's good side, Lily."  
  
Lily grinned. "I've got to get back to work, Madam Rosmerta. I'll see you next time."  
  
"You'd just better have all your interviews with Ludo here!" Madam Rosmerta called as Lily prepared to Disapparate. "I like the business it brings!"  
  
Lily was still laughing when she arrived in her office. Elaine looked at her in surprise.  
  
"Well! What are you laughing about?"  
  
"The conversation I just had with Madam Rosmerta at the Three Broomsticks."  
  
"There had better have been a conversation with Ludo Bagman at the Three Broomsticks, or we're going to have words."  
  
"Oh, there was," Lily said quickly. She put her portfolio on her desk, and pulled out the parchment she had used for the interview. She passed it over to Elaine. "And there's the evidence of said conversation."  
  
Elaine's eyes widened as she leafed through the sheets. "I've never seen anyone get so much from Ludo."  
  
Lily shrugged. "I took your advice. I told him all about James and Olivia's obsession with him upfront. He was thrilled to talk about himself."  
  
Elaine laughed. "Well, Lily, I think I can officially call you a natural. I'll expect your story by the end of the day tomorrow."  
  
"No problem," Lily grinned. She was sure that Ludo, James, and Olivia, would expect it even sooner. "Is it all right with you if I run upstairs for a moment before I begin?"  
  
"As long as it gets done, anything's fine by me."  
  
Lily grinned. "Thanks, Elaine. I'll be back in a minute."  
  
"Just make sure you get the story done!"  
  
Lily nodded, and hurried out of the office. She reached the lift, and took it to the fifth floor. She walked slowly down the hall, peering into the offices. Ever since their conversation at her engagement party, Lily had been sure that Minnie would be the one to help her with what was becoming her personal mission. Now, she needed to find her.  
  
"Lily?"  
  
She turned quickly, a smile spreading across her face. "Minnie! I was looking for you!"  
  
"So I assumed," Minnie giggled. "Here, my office is this way."  
  
The two girls went inside, and sat down together. Lily looked around the office, smiling at the many pictures of Minnie and Adam.  
  
"So, what's on your mind?" Minnie asked.  
  
"Well, I think I may need some of your expertise."  
  
"I don't know much about sports," Minnie replied with a smile. "But if you want me to get you in touch with Adam –"  
  
"No, it's not about sports," Lily cut in. "It's about investigation."  
  
"What do you need to investigate?" Minnie asked with a slight frown.  
  
Lily took a deep breath. "Did you know that Dana's dad was killed by Death Eaters?"  
  
"Yeah, I heard about it," Minnie replied. "I wasn't involved in writing the story – it fell under local news, not investigation."  
  
"But it should have been in your department," Lily contradicted. "I think there's more to it than a random act of violence."  
  
Minnie nodded slowly. "One thing I've learned is that the Death Eaters never commit random acts of violence. There's always a method to what they do. But the paper's editors don't necessarily agree. They think there's enough panic, and that enough people think that they're targets without us adding to it."  
  
Lily shook her head. "Minnie, I'm a Muggle-born. I'm in more danger than the average wizard. The thing is, so was Dana's dad. Now, do you think the Death Eaters just happened to attack the area of Diagon Alley were he worked?"  
  
"I see your point, Lil," Minnie said. "Believe me, I've thought the same thing. But the editors don't want –"  
  
"They don't want the truth reported?"  
  
"Not if it makes them look bad."  
  
"But how could it? How could uncovering the truth be a bad thing?"  
  
Minnie smiled. "All right, Lily, I can see where you're going with this. Do you want me to help you find out why Dana's dad was targeted?"  
  
"I just want to find out more about what happened."  
  
Minnie nodded. "All right. I'll put you in touch with some of my contacts, and I'll help you all I can. I just don't know if the paper's going to like it."  
  
"Well, for now, it can be my personal research."  
  
"Fair enough. But if I get called in over this, I'm dragging you down with me."  
  
Lily grinned. "Fair enough," she echoed.  
  
***  
  
"I can't believe it! LUDO BAGMAN wants you to interview him again!" Olivia exclaimed.  
  
Lily laughed. "He was really nice. A bit over the top, but a nice guy."  
  
"I still can't believe you got autographs for us," James grinned. "You're the best, Lil."  
  
"It wasn't hard," Lily smiled. "I just told him that you guys were fans, and he opened right up! He'd probably give me his bank information if I asked. He doesn't seem all that . . ." she trailed off, trying to come up with the right word.  
  
"Intelligent?" Sirius laughed.  
  
All eight Order recruits were at Headquarters, waiting for their trainers to appear. It was the first time they had been late in the month of training, but no one had realized it with the intensity of the conversation that was going on around them. Everyone was now laughing at Sirius' estimation of Ludo Bagman's mental skill.  
  
"Hey, now! That's Ludo Bagman you're talking about!" James exclaimed.  
  
"Yeah, but he's a Beater! I'm sure he's taken a few shots to the head!"  
  
"Probably, but that doesn't make him an idiot," Olivia replied.  
  
"If you say so, love," Sirius said. He glanced at his watch. "Er – have Moody and Longbottom ever been late before?"  
  
"No," Remus said at once. A concerned look crossed his face.  
  
"Do you think something happened?" Peter asked. "Or is in the process of happening?"  
  
"Wouldn't Dumbledore or someone have gotten word to us?" Dana asked.  
  
"I don't –"Olivia's words were cut off as she crumpled to the ground.  
  
"Liv!" Sirius yelled. How had they not heard the spell? Someone had to have said the incantation!  
  
He bent down over Olivia's form, checking for a pulse and to be sure that she was breathing. The others jumped to their feet, wands drawn. They formed a tight cluster, keeping their backs together as they had been taught. They circled around slightly, eyes flitting between the walls, entrances, and ceiling.  
  
"What happened to her?" James muttered.  
  
"Is she all right, Sirius?" Lily asked, her eyes scanning the entrances.  
  
"I don't know," Sirius said. "She's still breathing, but I'm not sure what hit her." He, too, stood to his full height, pulling out his wand. "But whoever did this to her is still here."  
  
"How could they get into Headquarters?" Peter asked. "It has to be someone in the Order. Only they would know how to get here."  
  
"Are you suggesting there's a traitor in the Order?" James asked in shock.  
  
Peter shrugged his shoulders. "It's a possibility, isn't it?"  
  
"No," Remus muttered. "No, it can't be . . ."  
  
Shadowy figures began to appear around the edges of the room, their wands directed at the small cluster of people in the center. They were dressed in dark robes, with masks over their faces.  
  
"Shit," Sirius muttered. "Those are Death Eaters."  
  
"What should we do?" Dana whispered.  
  
"Stun as many as you can," Remus said quietly. "If they start cursing us, fight back with all you have."  
  
"This is it," Sirius muttered. "On three, everyone shoot stunners. Ready?"  
  
"Ready."  
  
"One. Two. THREE!"  
  
He bellowed the last word, and the seven recruits screamed "STUPIFY!" in unison, their spells flying through the air. Their opponents began to fall as the stunners hit them. The remaining Death Eaters advanced rapidly, throwing curses back at them. They were forced to break their clustered formation to fight back. Spells flew through the air to the point where James wasn't sure whom he was hexing. All he knew was that these people had hurt Olivia badly, and they had to defend both her and themselves. It was painfully obvious that they were alone – they had to protect the Order's Headquarters. The Death Eaters were swarming everywhere, their magical ability amazing. How long could they hold out? How long could they fight back? How long before they were all on the ground in crumpled heaps like Olivia?  
  
James was suddenly aware of a bellowing spell cutting through the air. He didn't know who had yelled the incantation, or what spell it was, but everything came to a complete standstill. He was frozen in place.  
  
Slowly, everyone began to move. The recruits tried to scramble to the feet, clutching their wands to continue the battle. But the Death Eaters weren't taking up the fight again. They were removing their robes, and looking at the recruits with approving smiles.  
  
"Good show!"  
  
James blinked as he looked into Moody's face. It was then that it hit him. This had been a test – a test to determine whether they were ready to join the Order. They had been attacked by Order members. They had never been in any real danger. James glanced over at Olivia. She, too, was climbing slowly to her feet.  
  
"That is exactly the response I wanted to see from you," Moody growled. "You worked together, you formed a plan before you acted, and you defended your territory. You lived up to our expectations. You all passed your final test – with flying colors."  
  
"Welcome," Dumbledore beamed, "to the Order of the Phoenix. We are going to introduce you to our members now. Once you have met more people than you will ever remember tonight, you will come with me to sign your official membership documents."  
  
He called each recruit forward to be recognized. Once they had been introduced to the membership, he called the "Death Eaters" forward, introducing them to the new members. Naturally, James recognized his parents, Hagrid, Professor McGonagall, and several others, but most were new faces. He expected that he would learn their names and personalities in time, once he started working closely with them.  
  
James, Sirius, and Remus were all shocked to learn that Dedalus Diggle was a member of the Order. He grinned at them, and waved. His excitement about showing them the flat, and his comment about Dumbledore being happy when they decided to take it suddenly made sense. It was as though the pieces of their lives were suddenly coming together to form a whole picture.  
  
Once the introductions were over, Dumbledore took the recruits to sign their membership documents. He led them to a room off to the side, and looked at all of them with his penetrating stare.  
  
"I want you all to understand that this is not something you may take lightly," he said. "You have more than survived your training – you have excelled, and come out with our shining approval. But now you must do the same in your lives. Now you must risk everything for our cause. Are you prepared to do that?"  
  
Each person in the small room nodded. He looked at each of them in turn, holding their eyes, looking into their thoughts. Finally, he nodded.  
  
"All right, then. When you sign this parchment, you are signing a magical contract that binds you as a member of the Order of the Phoenix. I welcome you all into our ranks."  
  
They signed one by one. As Lily straightened up after signing her name, Dumbledore looked at her closely.  
  
"Miss Evans, it has come to my attention that you have made some interesting connections at the Daily Prophet."  
  
Lily started. "What?"  
  
"Interviews with Ludo Bagman, friends in the investigative section of the paper . . . I would like you use you as I am using Mr. Potter and Miss Bond. I would like for you to do Order work as a part of your job, if you are willing."  
  
Lily smiled. "I'll do anything I can to help the Order, sir."  
  
"Excellent," Dumbledore beamed. "We'll discuss the details later. For now, I believe we have a welcoming party to attend." 


	6. Once Defied

A/N: I know, this took longer than I promised! Believe me, I've spent forever trying to get it the way I want it. As a reward for waiting so long (I guess), this is a really long chapter – the longest I've ever written! But I have to warn you, I'm far better at emotional scenes than action scenes – if you have any tips as you read, please pass them along!  
  
Also, I'm including a favorite theory of my friend and I in this chapter. I know that it's probably not the most likely thing in the world, but we're willing to give it a chance. Please don't flame me over it! Just go with it, and remember that this is called FAN fiction for a reason!  
  
I don't own the Harry Potter universe.  
  
Once Defied  
  
"Dana? Liv? Are you home?"  
  
The sounds of giggles met her ears.  
  
"Girls?"  
  
"We're in here!"  
  
"Come quick! You'll want to see this!"  
  
Lily followed the sounds of her friends' giggling into the living room. She smiled as she entered. Dana and Olivia were huddled together on the couch, laughing over pictures.  
  
"What are the pictures?"  
  
"They're from your engagement party," Olivia said, moving over so that Lily could join them on the couch.  
  
"Liv just got them developed," Dana added. "Here, look at this one, it's adorable!"  
  
Lily took the picture from Dana's outstretched hands, and looked down at herself and James. She was laughing uncontrollably while James tickled her. As she watched, James stopped tickling her, and pulled her close for a kiss. She smiled.  
  
"Do you have any that don't involve James and I snogging?"  
  
"Sure, I have some of Dana and Aidan snogging," Olivia replied with a grin.  
  
Dana threw a pillow at her friend. "She has tons of really cute ones," she said. "Here, sit down and look!"  
  
"All right," Lily agreed. "But I only have a few minutes. I need to get home tonight."  
  
"Oh, is this the week of Petunia?" Olivia laughed.  
  
"Yes," Lily replied, wrinkling her nose. "But, as my mother pointed out, you only get married once, and I am her maid of honor, so I owe it to her to be there to help her get ready. Besides, she did agree to be in my wedding, and she was being rather nice to me the last time I saw her."  
  
"She's not going to be afraid of us at the wedding, is she?" Dana asked with a grin.  
  
"I think she'll be all right," Lily smiled. "I was tempted to pair her with Sirius just to be mean – I figured if anyone would get to her, he would. But, she has been really nice about this whole thing, and since James picked Sirius for the best man, I decided to be nice, too. I'm going to pair her with Remus."  
  
Dana gave a shriek of laughter. "You're pairing her with Remus? He's a werewolf, you know! I think that might freak her out!"  
  
Lily looked at her for a moment, then laughed. "You know, I didn't even think about it. I never think of Remus as a werewolf, you know?"  
  
"He's not," Dana replied, sobering. "He's . . . Remus. Just Remus. But, you have to admit, Petunia won't like it."  
  
"Petunia won't know about it," Lily said. "I'm not going to let her find out. I don't know what she'd do if she knew, but I'm sure it would only hurt Remus." She paused. "But, in terms of Petunia's freaked-out level, I think that Remus is the easiest to handle of all of the guys. Peter would be afraid to even look at her, and Sirius would do who knows what to annoy her. This is for the best."  
  
"Peter's changed recently," Dana said quietly. "He's not the same person he used to be."  
  
"None of us are," Olivia said. "We've all changed since graduation. We're growing up. Peter's becoming more assertive – he's starting to step out of James', Sirius', and Remus' shadows. But we're all different now . . . I mean, look at Lily! She's engaged to the man who she hated for years! Nothing stays the same, Dana."  
  
She looked so mournful that Lily reached out to hug her. "Change is good, Liv. If we never changed, I'd still hate James, and I'd be missing out on the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me!"  
  
Olivia smiled. "Get out of her. Go be your sister's maid of honor."  
  
Lily glanced at her watch. "I do need to go. But I want to see these pictures as soon as I get back!"  
  
She darted down the hall to her bedroom, and grabbed her already-packed suitcase. She carried it back into the living room, and gave the girls a smile.  
  
"I'll see you next week, then."  
  
"Here," Olivia said, thrusting the picture of Lily and James back into her hands. "Take this so you'll have James with you."  
  
"He's coming to the wedding with me."  
  
"Yeah, but that means you're going to have a James-free week without it. Take it!"  
  
Lily laughed, and put the picture in her purse. "Thanks, Liv."  
  
"Anytime. We'll see you in a week!"  
  
"Bye, girls!"  
  
Lily hurried out the door, and jumped into the engagement-gift car. Once again, she silently thanked her friends for their thoughtfulness. Without the car, she would have had quite a time getting to her parents' house.  
  
Due in large part to her lead foot, she reached the house before she had told them she would. The only car in the driveway when she arrived was Petunia's. She groaned. How would she be able to deal with her sister without her parents there? She was tempted to drive away and return later, but forced herself to get out of the car. She was Petunia's maid of honor. It was her job to get along with her sister.  
  
She grabbed her overnight bag, and made her way up the front walk. She knocked on the door, and steeled herself for her first meeting with her sister since she and James had shared the news of their engagement.  
  
Lily could hear the click of Petunia's heels against the tile floor as she walked toward the door. A smile flitted across her face. She remembered stomping across the tiles with Petunia as little girls, trying to make their steps sound as loud as possible in their mary janes. Their father had hated the sound, declaring that they were giving him a headache. He eventually realized they weren't going to stop, and told them they sounded like construction workers hammering in nails. The girls had merely giggled at the comparison; it didn't stop their enthusiasm for prancing around the house.  
  
Lily was still smiling at the memory when Petunia opened the door. She looked at Lily in confusion.  
  
"You seem happy," she said by way of greeting.  
  
Lily's smile faltered. "I was just remembering when we were little."  
  
Petunia frowned slightly, and gave Lily a look like she had lost her mind. "Mum and Dad are out," she said, opening the door wider so that Lily could enter. "They'll be home in time for dinner."  
  
Lily nodded as she stepped into the house. "I guess I'll just put my bag in my room, then. What do you need me to do first?"  
  
"I need you to do a recount for me on the RSVPs. I want to make sure I have the right numbers to give the caterer."  
  
Lily nodded. "I'll be back down in a second."  
  
"I'll be in the kitchen," Petunia called as Lily walked up the stairs.  
  
"All right," Lily called over her shoulder.  
  
She entered the room that had been hers since birth, and placed her bag next to her dresser. She sighed, and ran her hand through her hair. This was going to be a long day with Petunia. She tossed her purse on her bed, where it fell open. Several items tumbled out, scattering across her bed.  
  
"Clumsy fool," she muttered to herself, crossing to pick them up. Her eyes widened as they fell on her wand. "Well, there's something that Petunia needs to see," she whispered. She carefully buried it in her purse.  
  
The wand was followed into the bottom of her purse by several sickles and a galleon. She placed her lipstick and compact on top of them. The last thing that she picked up was the picture of James kissing her. She was about to put it in her purse, but, as she watched, James broke the kiss, and winked up at her. She sighed, and placed it on her bedside table. She couldn't hide him from view. So what if Petunia saw it? She'd just have to deal with it.  
  
"Lily! What happened to you up there?"  
  
"Sorry!" Lily yelled. She set her purse down more carefully than she had before, and hurried out of her room, closing the door behind her.  
  
"What took you so long?" Petunia asked crossly as Lily entered the kitchen.  
  
"Sorry," Lily said again. "I dropped my purse, and everything went flying. I wanted to pick it up before I forgot about it. Knowing me, Mum would find everything under my bed ten years from now."  
  
Petunia smiled faintly, knowing that Lily wasn't the most responsible person in the world about picking up after herself. "I've never understood how you could handle being so messy," she said with a shake of her head.  
  
"I've never understood how you could be so neat," Lily countered.  
  
"Does James know what he's getting into with you?"  
  
Lily's breath caught in her throat. They were bantering – they were getting along almost like they had as little girls! Oh, a terrible current swirled around them just under the surface, but this was as close as they had come to a civilized conversation in years. She smiled, trying desperately to hold on to this unexpected moment of pleasantness with her sister.  
  
"I've already told him that he's in charge of all cleaning," she smiled. "He laughed – I don't think he really believed me."  
  
"Show him your room the next time he's here. He'll have to believe you after that."  
  
"But it's clean."  
  
"Yeah, Mum cleaned it for you. But he won't be here for a week. God only knows what you'll have been able to do to it by the end of the week."  
  
Lily made a face at her. "Where are these RSVPs?"  
  
Petunia turned businesslike. "The responses for the chicken are here, the pasta ones are there, and the beef are here. All the negative responses are in this stack here. I have my totals, but I want you to recount them and see if my numbers are right."  
  
"All right," Lily replied.  
  
She went to the task of counting, while Petunia walked out of the room. She had no idea where her sister had gone, but figured that she'd get done faster without her hanging over her shoulder.  
  
She finished counting each stack of RSVP cards, and carefully recorded her totals. She picked up the sheet of paper she had written her numbers on, and went in search of her sister.  
  
"Petunia?" she called. "Where are you?"  
  
She didn't hear a response. Sighing, she wandered through the house, trying to find the bride-to-be. She wasn't in any of the rooms downstairs. Lily walked up the steps, assuming that Petunia was in her room.  
  
She knocked on her sister's door, and pushed it open. The room was empty. Frowning slightly, Lily turned around. It was then that she noticed that her own door was ajar. Her frown deepened. She was certain that she had closed it before she went downstairs.  
  
She moved toward her room, feeling a bit apprehensive. For some reason, Moody's words floated through her head, barking about constant vigilance. Moody wouldn't be very impressed to know that she was about to walk into a room without her wand – particularly when that room's door was now open despite having been closed earlier. She peered into the room, trying to see if it was safe before walking all the way in. Before training to join the Order, she would never have thought to be so careful in her parents' house. Now, it was second nature.  
  
She sighed, and entered the room fully. "Petunia, what are you doing in here?"  
  
"What's this?"  
  
Lily looked at the object in Petunia's hands, and recognized the picture she had placed on her nightstand. "That's a picture of James and I. My friend Olivia took it at our engagement party. You know, the party you didn't attend." She couldn't keep the bitterness out of her voice. Her parents had come. Why hadn't she?  
  
"Oh," Petunia said softly. She didn't offer any explanation for not being at the party. After so many years of hating Lily for what she was, an explanation didn't seem necessary. "It's true, then – the pictures really do move?"  
  
Lily stared at her. Petunia had remembered the comment from so long ago? Lily had told her family about the moving pictures during her first time home from Hogwarts. At the time, Petunia had scoffed, refusing to believe that it was possible.  
  
"Yes," Lily said slowly.  
  
"How does it work?"  
  
Lily was sure she could have been knocked over with a feather. "Magic," she said simply.  
  
Petunia flinched, and put the picture back on the table. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. I can't – We have work to do."  
  
Lily nodded, and followed her sister back down the stairs. What had just happened? It was as though the barriers had been lowered for a brief time. However, when they returned to the kitchen, Lily could see that the barriers were firmly back in place.  
  
"Your totals don't match mine," Petunia said, frowning as she looked at the paper Lily had left on the table. "Count them again."  
  
"But what if you were off?"  
  
"I said to count them again!"  
  
The rest of the week followed a similar pattern. Petunia would be pleasant to Lily for short spans of time, then would fall back to the behavior that had become second nature during the past eight years.  
  
The day before the wedding, Lily pulled herself out of bed, preparing for a day of near-chaos as they finished their final preparations for the next day. She wasn't exactly looking forward to it. She spent as much time as she dared in the shower, then dressed, and went downstairs to help her mother with breakfast.  
  
Petunia walked in while Lily and Mrs. Evans were still cooking. "Good morning," she said. She ran her hand through her hair. "I hope you aren't making a big breakfast. We have a lot to do today. Lily, we have a dress fitting at ten."  
  
"I know," Lily replied. "We'll be ready in time. I promise."  
  
Petunia nodded. "What are you making?"  
  
"At the moment, eggs," Mrs. Evans replied. "We have some bacon, too, and Lily's making toast."  
  
"How does it feel to know that Mum only trusts you with toast?" Petunia smiled.  
  
"Oh, funny. I didn't see her giving you anything to do."  
  
Petunia opened her mouth to reply, but found herself shrieking instead. Mrs. Evans and Lily both jumped.  
  
"What is it?" Mrs. Evans exclaimed.  
  
"Petunia!" Lily cried.  
  
Petunia pointed at Owl, who had just flown through the open window. Her eyes were open wide, and she seemed to have lost the power of speech.  
  
"Owl!" Lily cried, moving to take the letter he was carrying.  
  
"He's just bringing the mail, sweetie," Mrs. Evans soothed.  
  
Petunia gave another little shriek, and ran from the room. Mrs. Evans watched her go with a sigh.  
  
"Why does she always have to be so melodramatic?" Lily exclaimed. "Everything always has to be a production with her!"  
  
"Oh, Lily."  
  
"Really, Mother! Have you seen the way she's been with me?"  
  
"She is trying, you know," Mrs. Evans replied. "She wants the two of you to have the relationship you used to."  
  
"I don't think we can have the same relationship anymore, Mummy," Lily said softly. "We were little girls when we were friends. Even under the best circumstances, our relationship would have changed as we grew older. But, with everything that's happened . . . I don't know. It's been so long, Mum. I don't know if we can fix it anymore."  
  
"Try, Lily." Mrs. Evans put down the knife she had been using, and grabbed her daughter's hands. "Try to move past everything that's happened. Try to forgive the harsh words. Try to understand what it's been like for Petunia. You can't understand all that she's endured . . ."  
  
"All that SHE'S endured?" Lily cried. "She's been nothing but horrible to me ever since I got my Hogwarts letter! And you saw what happened just now when Owl flew in! I can't deny what I am to make her happy, Mum. I want us to have the type of relationship we used to, and I've tried so hard for so long to be a good sister, but it hasn't worked. If she had just been willing to bend even a little, it would have been different, but as it is –"  
  
"She's trying now," Mrs. Evans interrupted. "She's trying now, and if you were even a third of the good person you're proclaiming yourself to be, you'd meet her halfway."  
  
Lily was successfully silenced. She looked back down at the dishes she had been taking from the cupboard. Her mother was right. The brief periods that were reminiscent of their childhood good relations should have shown her how willing Petunia was to fix what had gone wrong between them. For some reason, Remus and Laura appeared at the forefront of her thoughts. If they could fight their way back from all the obstacles they had overcome, surely she and Petunia could find their way back to speaking terms. She sighed, and mentally resolved to try harder to understand her sister – to comprehend whatever it was that her mother was so sure she had "endured" during the time Lily had been at Hogwarts.  
  
Petunia had made a great effort to put the mail delivery behind her over the course of the day. She and Lily had got along fairly well, going together for their final dress fitting, and cleaning the already-spotless house. Although the wedding would take place at their church, the reception would be at the house, which had thrown the entire family into far more turmoil than should have been necessary. Lily instantly made up her mind to find a hall for her reception. She'd have to tell James that when he arrived the next morning. She was sure he'd agree.  
  
As they scrubbed the kitchen cupboards together, Petunia cast a glance at Lily. She stared long enough that Lily looked up at her.  
  
"Not clean enough for you?" she asked.  
  
Petunia shook her head. "It's not that. It's just – I was thinking about what you said when you got here. You said something about a memory from when we were little. What was the memory?"  
  
Lily frowned for a moment, then a smile spread across her face. "I could hear your shoes clicking as you walked toward the door. It made me think of us stomping across the floor when we were little."  
  
Petunia smiled as well. "We would put on our dress shoes, and try to be as loud as possible."  
  
"Yes!" Lily laughed. "Do you remember how Daddy hated it?"  
  
"Do you remember the time he threatened to send all our dress shoes to starving orphans in China?" Petunia laughed.  
  
"Do you remember Mummy's face when he said that?" Lily laughed.  
  
"She started yelling that our shoes were expensive, and if he didn't like the way we wore them, he could hide them from us, but there was no way he was giving them away."  
  
"And every time he tried to hide them –"  
  
"We found them!"  
  
Both girls started laughing uncontrollably, leaning on the counters to support themselves. Their mother, who was walking past, stopped to watch them, a soft smile spreading across her face. Her girls were finally getting along again.  
  
"Petunia," Lily said when they had calmed down, "can I ask you a question?"  
  
"I suppose."  
  
"This morning, Mummy and I were talking, and she said something about you enduring hardship while I was away at school." She paused, and drew a deep breath. "I know we haven't been close since I went away, and I'm willing to take partial responsibility for that, but if something happened to you, I'd like to know what it was. I mean, if you're willing to confide in me, I'm willing to listen."  
  
Petunia looked at her for a moment, her eyes widening in surprise. "You mean you don't know?"  
  
"Obviously not," Lily said, trying to keep her tone light.  
  
"They really haven't told you?"  
  
"Would I ask you if I knew?"  
  
"I'm just surprised – I mean, I assumed they would have told you after you got your letter."  
  
"Petunia, you're not making sense." Lily's agitation was becoming evident.  
  
"Well, I thought they would have told you that they're –"  
  
"Petunia," Mrs. Evans said, entering the kitchen, "did you call the florist to make sure everything's all right with your flowers?"  
  
"No!" Petunia yelled. She dropped her sponge, and hurried to the living room to pick up the telephone.  
  
Lily turned to her mother, her expression accusatory. "What don't you want me to know?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Stop it, Mother. There's some big family secret, and Petunia was about to spill it before you stopped her."  
  
"Petunia gossips too much. She doesn't know when to keep quiet."  
  
"Well, in this case, I think she's completely justified! What are you keeping from me? Obviously, I'm the only one in the family who's out of the loop! What is this all about?"  
  
"Lily . . ."  
  
"Don't try to placate me! I want the truth, Mum!"  
  
The door opened, and Mr. Evans walked in. "Hello, my lovelies!" He bent down to kiss his wife's lips and the top of Lily's head. "How are we doing now that we've reached the twenty-four hour mark?" He looked between them, and took in the frightened expression on his wife's face, and the determined expression on Lily's. "All right, ladies, what is going on?"  
  
"Mum is keeping something from me," Lily said angrily. "Petunia tried to tell me, but Mum stopped her. I want to know what everyone else already does. Out with it, Dad. What's this family secret that everyone but me is in on?"  
  
Mr. Evans looked at his wife. A silent message passed between them, and they both nodded slightly.  
  
"Sit down, Lily," Mr. Evans said wearily, indicating the chairs at the kitchen table. "We'll tell you everything."  
  
Lily obediently took her seat, and waited for her parents to sit down. They looked at one another again, and Mr. Evans reached out to take her hand.  
  
"Your Hogwarts letter was a surprise for you, wasn't it?"  
  
"Yes, of course," Lily said, frowning in confusion. "We had never heard of Hogwarts, or of magic outside of card tricks. Why wouldn't we be surprised?"  
  
"The thing is, Lily, your mother and I weren't surprised. We had been expecting you to receive a letter. We had seen your magic for years. We had watched you refine some of your skills before you even went to school, before you even knew what you were doing."  
  
"But how?" Lily asked, shaking her head as though to clear it. "How could you have known? I didn't even know what I was doing. How could you?"  
  
"Because we had seen magic before," Mrs. Evans said softly. "I told you once, a long time ago, that I knew how Petunia felt. I told you that I understood what it was to be different from your sibling. That was true." She paused, and drew a shaky breath. "I'm a Squib, Lily. So is your father."  
  
Lily fell back in her chair, her hands flying to her face as though she had been hit. "What?"  
  
"We're both Squibs," Mr. Evans affirmed. "Neither of our families are pureblood, but we're the first Squibs in several generations."  
  
"You never told me."  
  
"No, we didn't want you to know. We didn't want you girls to even have to think about magic. It had caused us so much pain, and so many problems for so long . . ."  
  
"But I'm a witch!" Lily screamed. "Didn't it occur to you when I got my Hogwarts letter that I might want to know?"  
  
"We were so proud of you," Mr. Evans said fondly. "You were restoring some respectability to our family in the eyes of our relatives – but we wanted to keep you away from that. We didn't want you to have to worry about what everyone thought of you."  
  
"But you always told us that you didn't have any living relatives," Lily said, still shaking her head.  
  
"Well, that's true now," Mrs. Evans said. "My sister died several weeks ago, and your father was an only child. All our other relatives died at one point or another over the course of your lifetime. But, before, when you and Petunia were little, we didn't want you to know our families. We didn't want to expose you to magic, knowing very well that the chances of either of you being magical were slim to none. Then, when we recognized your magic, we tried to hide it from Petunia."  
  
"She was more observant than we would have thought," Mr. Evans said calmly. "We you were about seven, she started asking us about the odd things you could do. She had finally realized that they were out of the ordinary, rather than just 'Lily.' She wanted to know what was going on. We had to tell her the truth – that you were a witch."  
  
"Since you hadn't received a Hogwarts letter yet, we didn't know for sure," Mrs. Evans said. "We told her that, too. She didn't want you to be magical. She didn't want you to be different. So she pretended that it wasn't going to happen, and things stayed pretty much the same between the two of you."  
  
"Then I got my letter," Lily whispered.  
  
"Yes, then you got your letter."  
  
All three heads snapped up, and turned to Petunia, who had appeared in the doorway. She was leaning against the doorframe, her eyes narrowed into a glare.  
  
"Mum and Dad told me all about the magical world – the world that had shunned them," she said venomously. "They weren't accepted by their families because of what they were, and, if you ask me, we were better off without those people. We didn't need people like that in our lives!"  
  
"People like me?" Lily asked. "People like James?"  
  
"People with freakish tendencies!" Petunia shrieked. "But everyone was so proud of you – you didn't know about all the cards and letters that came in, celebrating your 'good fortune' at being accepted into that freak school! You didn't know –"  
  
"How left out you felt?" Lily interrupted quietly. "How you would have given anything for your own Hogwarts letter?"  
  
Petunia flinched as though Lily had slapped her. She stared at her for a long moment, then ran out of the room.  
  
"Lily," Mrs. Evans said.  
  
"It's true, isn't it? She had known all about this world, and she probably expected that if I was a witch, maybe she was, too. THAT'S why she's been so awful to me. She was jealous! She wanted what I had!"  
  
"Awfully self-centered, aren't you?" Mr. Evans said, trying to smile.  
  
"Maybe I am," Lily replied. "But maybe I'm right."  
  
"Why don't you go talk to her, Lily?" Mrs. Evan suggested.  
  
"Not right now," Lily replied. "I will later. We need to fix this by tomorrow morning."  
  
"Petunia?" Lily knocked on her sister's door for the third time. "I know you're in there, Petunia. I would have seen you leave the house. Just open the door so we can talk. Please, I don't want to let this ruin your wedding."  
  
The door opened, and Petunia glared at Lily. "Are you going to curse me if I don't let you in?"  
  
"Don't be silly. I'd never curse . . . How did you know that term?"  
  
"I know more than you'd imagine."  
  
Lily sighed. "Are you going to let me in so we can talk about this?"  
  
Petunia nodded reluctantly, and stepped aside to let Lily enter her room. She sat down at her desk chair. Sighing, Lily lowered herself onto the bed.  
  
"What do you want to say?" Petunia asked.  
  
"It's more what you'd like to say," Lily replied. "I want you to tell me everything you know about magic."  
  
"I know that it exists. I know that there are spells, hexes, and curses. I know that the pictures move. I know that some wizards are more powerful than others. I know that there is an evil man who's trying to kill everyone like Mum and Dad – and like me, I suppose. I know that you received a letter, and disappeared off to some school that no one can find on a map." All this was said with her eyes narrowed, glaring at Lily.  
  
"Petunia," Lily sighed, holding out her hand.  
  
Petunia shook her head, and her eyes softened. "I know that Mum and Dad were thrilled when you got your letter. I know that they had been shunned by their families because they aren't what you are. I know that they called the wizarding world home for their entire lives until they got married and decided to leave it all behind so that their children wouldn't have to grow up knowing that they couldn't live up to their family's expectations." She lowered her head. "I know that you've always managed to exceed those expectations. I know that part of me always hoped that it wasn't really real."  
  
"It IS real," Lily said softly.  
  
"I know. I saw that picture in your room." She sighed. "Lily, this is something that I can never be or do. It's something that I don't want to have to think about. I'm getting married tomorrow. I'm going to start my life with Vernon. I don't want to have to think about the things I can't do. I want to concentrate on the things that I CAN do."  
  
"And you will," Lily said passionately. "You're going to be a wonderful wife to Vernon, Petunia. You're going to have everything you've wanted."  
  
"But there's always going to be you," Petunia said softly. "There's always going to be you in the background, reminding me, and Mum and Dad, of what we can never been."  
  
"Why can't you focus on the good things?" Lily asked. "You're so worried about me being a reminder of all that you can't do. Think of the relationship that we could have if you'd stop thinking about the differences between us. We could be friends again, Petunia. Maybe – maybe we could even go back to being sisters."  
  
Petunia drew a shaky breath. "I'd like that, Lil."  
  
"So would I."  
  
Both girls reached across the distance between them to clasp hands. They smiled at one another through teary eyes.  
  
"It's not going to be easy for me," Petunia cautioned.  
  
"Nor for me," Lily replied. "But I'm willing to try. Are you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then I think we're halfway there."  
  
"Is this the right house?"  
  
"Yeah, that's the one. Thanks for driving me, Dad."  
  
"You're sure you don't need me to pick you up tomorrow?"  
  
"I'm sure. Lily can take me back to London."  
  
"All right. Well, have fun, James. And remember to be polite!"  
  
James laughed as he climbed out of the car. "Thanks, Dad. I'll see you later."  
  
"James!" Lily ran down the front lawn, her red hair flying out behind her. She flung herself into James' arms, clinging to him as though she would never let go.  
  
"Miss me?" James teased.  
  
"More than you can ever dream," Lily whispered. "We really need to talk."  
  
"All right. Do we have time now?"  
  
"A bit. Petunia and I have a hair appointment at noon."  
  
James glanced at his watch. "We have two hours."  
  
"That's enough time. Come on inside. Everyone wants to say hello."  
  
James nodded, and allowed Lily to lead him into the house. She was still clutching his hand. He held hers tightly, hoping to reassure her. He had no idea what had happened to her in the last week, but knew that it didn't seem good. She was never this clingy around other people – and certainly never around her parents.  
  
"James!"  
  
James smiled, and released Lily's hand to shake her father's. "Hello, Mr. Evans. How are you holding up?"  
  
"You wait until it's your daughter who's getting married, and then I'll let you ask me that," Mr. Evans grinned. "Until then, you have no idea what you're asking!"  
  
James laughed with him. "I'll just keep my questions to myself, then."  
  
"Hello, James."  
  
"Hi, Mrs. Evans," James said, taking her hand. "How are you?"  
  
"Oh, a bit flustered," she smiled. "I think Petunia's upstairs if you want to say hello to her."  
  
"Yes, I'll take you," Lily said eagerly.  
  
James raised an eyebrow, but Lily only shook her head. She led him upstairs, and tapped on a closed door.  
  
"Petunia?"  
  
"It's not time to leave yet, is it?" Petunia flung the door open, panic written clearly on her face.  
  
"No, no, I just wanted to let you know that James is here."  
  
"Oh." Petunia's face visibly relaxed. "Hello, James."  
  
"Hi," James replied a bit cautiously.  
  
"Thanks for coming for my wedding," Petunia continued. "I know that it means a lot to Lily."  
  
James raised his eyebrows again. "No problem. I'd do anything for Lily – and her family."  
  
Petunia smiled briefly. "I don't mean to be rude, but I do have quite a few things to do . . ."  
  
"Oh, no, go get ready. We can talk later, I'm sure."  
  
Petunia nodded, and disappeared into her room. Lily took James' hand again, and pulled him down the hall to her room. Once they were inside, she shut the door behind them. James looked at her in complete confusion. Lily always wanted to be very proper and reserved when they were together around their family. What had happened?  
  
"Lil, what's wrong?" James asked gently, taking both her hands in his. "You're a wreck. What happened this week?"  
  
Lily drew a deep breath. "Are you ready for this?"  
  
"I guess."  
  
"My parents are Squibs," she said without preamble.  
  
James' eyes widened in surprise. "Squibs?"  
  
"Yes. They're Squibs. They didn't tell me until yesterday. They would have kept on with the secret forever, I think, but Petunia almost told me. My mother stopped her, but I pretty much forced her and Dad to tell me. They both came from wizarding families – not pureblood – but they're the first Squibs in generations."  
  
James pulled Lily over to her bed, and sat down with her. "Why didn't they tell you before?"  
  
"When we were little, they didn't want Petunia and I to know about magic. They didn't want us to be disappointed like they were. But they could tell that I was a witch for several years before I got my Hogwarts letter."  
  
James nodded. "You would have shown signs of magic, and if they knew what they were looking for . . ."  
  
"Exactly. They didn't say anything then because they still didn't want me to be disappointed if they were wrong."  
  
James shook his head. "But what about after you got your letter?"  
  
"They said the entire family – a family that I didn't know existed – was thrilled for me. My parents didn't want me to have the pressure of a bunch of relatives I didn't even know I had watching my every move. I guess I AM glad about that – it would have made me terribly nervous."  
  
"And you handled that pretty well on your own," James said with a teasing smile.  
  
Lily looked at him reproachfully. "Can't you be serious for ten minutes?"  
  
"I'm sorry, Lily. I'm not trying to make light of the situation."  
  
"It's all right." She ran her hand through her hair distractedly. "This is all so new, and so incredibly strange, that I don't really know what to do with it yet."  
  
"Wait a minute. You said that Petunia was going to tell you about this. She knew?"  
  
Lily nodded. "She had noticed my magic, too, but she didn't know what it was. She asked my parents about it, and they told her everything. She didn't want me to be a witch, because she didn't want me to be different from everyone else."  
  
"So that's why she's been so awful to you?"  
  
"Well, I think that it's more than just that. I think she's been jealous of me for all these years."  
  
James let out a breath. "This is crazy, Lil."  
  
"Yeah, I know. It's like I've never really known my family."  
  
"But do you think any less of them?"  
  
"Of course not! My parents were just trying to do what they thought was right. And if I had been like Petunia, all that they did to keep the magical world a secret probably would have been for the best. But I'm different. I ruined their plan."  
  
"Your parents are proud of you, Lil."  
  
"Oh, I know! And they've been wonderful and supportive for my entire life. I can't fault them, James. I just wish I could have known sooner."  
  
"Come here," James said, pulling her close. "You have wonderful parents, and you almost seem to be getting along with your sister. What do you have to complain about?"  
  
Lily smiled. "Nothing, I guess."  
  
"What's going on with you and Petunia, anyway?"  
  
"We had a long talk last night. We decided to try to look past our differences. We're going to try being sisters again."  
  
James smiled at the smile that broke out on her face as she told him. "Good."  
  
"I think so." She sighed. "I wish Petunia and I had had that conversation years ago."  
  
"Don't worry about what has happened. Worry about what will happen."  
  
Lily smiled. "It's going to be great, James. Everything's really working out now."  
  
Lily and Petunia were on time for their hair appointment, and returned to the house to get ready with plenty of time before they had to be at the church. Their mother joined them in Petunia's room, where the three women tried their hardest to convince one another that they were calm. Lily had just finished putting on her own dress when Petunia turned her back to her.  
  
"Can you please zip me?"  
  
"Sure," Lily replied, smiling. Apparently, Petunia was taking their "sister pact" seriously. Even a week ago, she would have turned to her mother first.  
  
Mrs. Evans came up behind them with Petunia's veil draped over her arm. "Are you ready for this?"  
  
Petunia drew a deep breath. "This is it," she whispered. "I'm really getting married."  
  
"If you aren't, you just put this family through quite a bit of stress over nothing," Mrs. Evans replied, her light words contrasting sharply with the tears that were standing in her eyes.  
  
"Ladies! The photographer is here!" Mr. Evans called.  
  
"Just a minute!" Lily yelled, realizing that her mother and sister were incapable of speech. They were both caught up in the moment of Mrs. Evans arranging her daughter's veil.  
  
Once the veil was in place, Mrs. Evans leaned over to kiss Petunia's cheek. "You're a beautiful bride, Petunia."  
  
Lily had to agree. While she had never thought of her sister as being overly attractive, she did look lovely today. Perhaps it was because this was the first time Lily could remember in years that Petunia actually looked happy.  
  
Mrs. Evans turned to Lily with a smile. "And just think, in a few more months, I'll be doing this for you!"  
  
Lily grinned. "I can't wait, Mummy."  
  
"No, I'm sure you can't."  
  
"Ladies!"  
  
"Coming!" Petunia called. "Let's go before that photographer decides to leave."  
  
They made it through the pictures at the house without incident, and left for the church. When they arrived, quite a few people were already seated. Petunia's eyes widened.  
  
"I can't let anyone see me!"  
  
"Let me show you to the bridal room."  
  
Petunia nearly jumped out of her skin as Father O'Leary, the man who had given both girls their First Communion, appeared beside her. He smiled at her reaction.  
  
"I was afraid that you'd be a nervous bride," he chuckled. "Come on, let's go this way."  
  
"We've gone to this church all our lives, and I never knew there was a bridal room," Lily commented as they followed the priest down a hall.  
  
"Well, you've never needed it before," Fr. O'Leary smiled. "Here you are, ladies. One of the altar boys will come and get you when it's time to begin. Do you want me to send your parents back?"  
  
"In a moment," Petunia replied.  
  
The priest nodded, and left them alone. Petunia turned to Lily.  
  
"Lil, I want to thank you."  
  
Lily's eyes widened. "For being such a cause of grief in your life for the past eight years?"  
  
"No, for being my sister." She drew a deep breath. Apologies never came easily for Petunia. "Ever since you got your letter, I've been awful to you. I haven't been your sister in the past eight years. But you never gave up on me – all that you've done this week to help me proves that. I'm sorry for all that I've done to you, Lily. I don't deserve all your kindness."  
  
Lily blinked back tears. "You're my sister, Petunia. You know that I forgive you."  
  
A tear slid down Petunia's cheek. "Thank you," she whispered.  
  
Then Petunia did something that Lily could barely remember her ever doing before. She closed the distance between them, and pulled Lily into a hug. Lily hugged her back, feeling like everything in her life was truly falling into place.  
  
"No tears!" Mrs. Evans exclaimed as she entered the room. Even as the words escaped her mouth, she could feel her own tears forming at the sight of her girls hugging. "You're both going to ruin your make up!"  
  
Lily and Petunia broke apart, both laughing as they wiped at their eyes.  
  
A soft knock sounded on the door, and a small boy opened it far enough to stick his head into the room. "It's time to begin the ceremony."  
  
"Thank you," Petunia smiled. She looked at her mother and sister, her eyes lighting up. "I'm getting married!"  
  
"That was a beautiful ceremony," James said as he and Lily drove back to the Evans' house.  
  
"It was, wasn't it? Petunia looked beautiful."  
  
James grinned. "I think that you outshone her by far."  
  
Lily laughed. "You have to say that."  
  
James grinned again. "Why don't you get to ride in the limo?"  
  
"Mum and Dad said that Petunia deserved some alone time. I don't know why; they have the rest of their lives to be alone together. But, you weren't in the wedding, so you wouldn't be allowed to ride in the limo with me, so it's better this way."  
  
James grinned. "I'm glad that we get our own alone time." He leaned across to kiss her neck.  
  
"I AM driving, you know! Do you want me to crash this car?"  
  
James laughed. "Just promise me one thing."  
  
"Anything."  
  
"You'll spend the night at my place tomorrow."  
  
Lily flushed. "All right."  
  
"Good. Then I'll be good now."  
  
Lily laughed. "You really do have a one-track mind, don't you?"  
  
James laughed. "You think so little of me."  
  
The party was already going on when they arrived at the house. Lily had to park down the street. She and James walked to the house hand in hand.  
  
"Listen," Lily said quickly. "Most of these people are either Vernon's family or friends of someone. My parents have told anyone who asked that I'm in journalism, but haven't found a job yet, and that you're starting out in politics."  
  
"Well, that's almost true."  
  
"But not true enough that I wanted to make sure that you had the story."  
  
"Got it. I'll be as Muggle as I can be."  
  
Lily cast a sidelong glance at him. "That's what worries me."  
  
The party was fun. Even James had to admit that a Muggle wedding was just as much fun as a wizard wedding. He and Lily had agreed to have a Muggle wedding to make her parents happy. As long as they were married in a Catholic church, his parents would be happy, so that was fine with him. He found himself paying close attention to the little details of Petunia's wedding, knowing that his mother would want to know what to expect with his.  
  
Things were beginning to wind down when it happened. About thirty people were still in the yard. James was dancing with Lily, holding her close as they swayed to a slow song. Suddenly, they both shivered as a cold draft filled the air.  
  
"Why is it cold?" Lily asked.  
  
James tensed immediately. "Stop the music."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Stop the music."  
  
"James, what's going on? I'm –"  
  
A long, rattling sound filled the yard. Lily's eyes widened in fear.  
  
"Oh, God, no. Please no," James whispered.  
  
"Lily!" Petunia ran across the yard. "What's going on? What is that?"  
  
"James?" Lily asked again. "Is that --?"  
  
"It's a dementor," James confirmed. "I don't know what on earth it's doing here! They're all supposed to be guarding Azkaban!"  
  
"The wizard prison?" Lily asked, fighting back the painful memories that were flooding her mind. Why had Kathleen had to die?  
  
"Yes," James said, blinking furiously as two dementors glided into sight. "Where's your wand, Lil?" How could they have killed his little cousins?  
  
"In my purse." They had printed her death in the Daily Prophet . . . Sirius had shown the story to her . . .  
  
"Get it now!" James grabbed his own wand, pulling it from his pocket. He was going to marry Lily. She had said yes. "EXPECTO PATRONUM!"  
  
Lily ran for her purse, trying desperately to summon a happy thought. She fumbled for her wand, and finally grabbed it. She thought of James kissing her for the first time. "EXPECTO PATRONUM!"  
  
Their Patronuses erupted from their wands, charging down the dementors. People all around them were shrieking, trying to run and stumbling. In all the chaos, James and Lily didn't even notice the pops and cracks of others Apparating into the yard.  
  
"LILY, LOOK OUT!"  
  
Lily turned to her left, and ducked just before a jet of red light passed over her head. James would never try to curse her. That meant . . .  
  
"LIL! ON YOUR RIGHT!"  
  
Lily managed to avoid another jet of light, this one green, and turned to her right just as a Death Eater prepared to send another curse at her.  
  
"Stupefy!" she yelled.  
  
The spell hit the Death Eater, and he fell to the ground. Lily ran across the yard to James.  
  
"What the bloody hell is going on?"  
  
"I wish I knew!" James yelled. "Why would they attack here?"  
  
"Why would they attack anywhere?"  
  
James nodded slightly. He glanced over Lily's shoulder. "Duck left," he whispered urgently.  
  
Lily moved, and James brought his wand up, stunning another Death Eater. He hit the ground with a sickening thud.  
  
"How many are there?"  
  
"I don't have a clue."  
  
"We need the others."  
  
"I know. I just don't know –"James cut himself off, and reached into his pocket, pulling out a mirror.  
  
"James, this is not the time to check your hair!" Lily shrieked as a curse hit one of Vernon's friends, sending her to the ground. She shrieked in pain. "They're using Unforgivable Curses!"  
  
James held the mirror in front of his face. "Sirius Black!" he bellowed.  
  
To Lily's amazement, Sirius' face appeared in the mirror. "James?"  
  
"Sirius, we're being attacked by Death Eaters! Get to Lily's parents house NOW!"  
  
"I'll get the others," Sirius said, his face a mix of shock, horror, and determination. He disappeared from the mirror.  
  
"What is that?" Lily exclaimed.  
  
"Do you really want an explanation now?"  
  
Lily responded by charging across the yard to hex the Death Eater who was about to curse Vernon. James turned, and began a battle with the nearest Death Eater.  
  
James and Lily managed to hold them off, but they didn't know how long they'd be able to keep it up. They were both quickly becoming exhausted, working through adrenaline.  
  
"LILY! HELP!"  
  
Lily and James both turned to see a Death Eater with his wand pointed a Petunia. Lily gasped, and ran across the yard.  
  
"STUPEFY!"  
  
The Death Eater fell, but Petunia shrieked again.  
  
"Petunia, you're safe," Lily said.  
  
"No," Petunia gasped. Her hands were covering her face.  
  
Lily whirled around to see where she was looking, and saw her father lying on the ground. She ran to him, and fell to her knees by his side.  
  
"No, no, Daddy, you're not . . . you're fine . . . you're . . ."  
  
Even as she fought the truth, she knew it. The open eyes and mouth, the surprised expression – they said it all. Her father was gone.  
  
"Lily, look out!"  
  
Before she even had time to think, a jet of green light shot at her. She gasped, and threw herself flat on top of her father. The Killing Curse hit the tree behind her, causing it to wilt instantly.  
  
Then, quite suddenly, the hexes stopped. The Death Eaters who were still standing became completely still. Lily breathed a sigh of relief as she raised her head. Help had arrived.  
  
"I sent you into a Muggle neighborhood to deal with Muggles, Squibs, and Mudbloods, and THIS is what I see? One wizard and one Mudblood have managed to practically drive you home again! This is not what I expect from my Death Eaters."  
  
Lily pulled herself to her feet, and inched closer to James. Lord Voldemort stood taller than any of them, staring at them with an expression of hate in his red eyes. Petunia made her way to Lily, and grabbed her arm.  
  
"What's going on?" she whispered.  
  
"Go inside, Petunia," Lily commanded.  
  
"Lily . . ."  
  
"Go inside!"  
  
"You should listen to your sister," Voldemort said, looking at Petunia with an expression of complete loathing. "She knows what's best for you. Such a pity such a mind found its way into a Mudblood."  
  
"That would be the MUDBLOOD who had practically defeated your Death Eaters, wouldn't it?" Lily spat. She knew she was being exceptionally stupid, but she didn't care. It was because of this man that her father was dead. It was because of him that her mother was a widow.  
  
"Such bravery," Voldemort said, turning his eyes on her. "Such a pity." He raised his wand. "Crucio."  
  
"NO!" James yelled as Lily shrieked in pain. "Expelliarmus!"  
  
The spell didn't disarm Voldemort, but it did manage to break the curse he had thrown at Lily, which had been James' intent. Lily looked up at them. She was weak and shaking, but her eyes blazed.  
  
"You bastard," she spat.  
  
"Does someone need another dose of pain?"  
  
James jumped in front of Lily, and threw a curse at Voldemort. He dodged it, and shot one back at James, who managed to deflect it. While Lily climbed to her feet, she watched the duel in awe. James – her James – was dueling with Voldemort! The sheer magnitude of what she was seeing hit her, and she grabbed her wand to join in the battle.  
  
The Death Eaters were mobilized, and began to fight to assist their master. Petunia shrieked, and Lily stopped dueling to see what had happened. Petunia was still standing, clutching Vernon's arm, but she was staring . . .  
  
Lily looked away. She couldn't see it. She couldn't even think of what had caused Petunia's shriek.  
  
Cracks and pops filled the air as the members of the Order of the Phoenix arrived. Dumbledore shot a hex at Voldemort that forced his attention away from James. He took over the battle, freeing James.  
  
With their reinforcements, Lily and James were able to breathe at last. James looked at Lily.  
  
"Are you all right?"  
  
"Later," Lily whispered.  
  
If she thought about it, she would break, and she knew that she couldn't let that happen yet. She had to keep fighting. That was the only way she would be able to put off the inevitable realization of what had happened – that she was now an orphan. Gripping her wand, she jumped into the battle.  
  
Gradually, the members of the Order managed to overpower the Death Eaters, and the battle became one of only two combatants: Dumbledore and Voldemort. James and Lily watched them fight in awe. They had always known that Dumbledore was the most powerful wizard alive, but they had never seen him like this.  
  
Ministry Aurors began to Apparate into the yard, and Voldemort gave Dumbledore a twisted smile.  
  
"I believe this is where I leave you."  
  
With that, he disappeared. Moody kicked a tree in frustration. Once again, he had escaped.  
  
James looked at Lily. "Are you all right?" he asked again.  
  
Lily shook her head, tears beginning to spill down her cheeks. She couldn't speak.  
  
James pulled her close, and ran his hand up and down her back. Lily collapsed against him, sobbing. Neither of them spoke. At a time like this, there were no words. 


	7. Grief

A/N: Unfortunately, this chapter isn't as long as the last one. It was actually going to be at least twice this long, but I decided to break it into two chapters. I hope you like it!  
  
Oh, Manny2003 – the Evanescence CD was my soundtrack for this chapter, and part of the last one! I've been listening to it the entire time I've been writing!  
  
Thanks for reading and reviewing! Enjoy!  
  
I don't own the Harry Potter universe.

Grief

Shock numbed Lily's mind. The only thing she could comprehend was an intense feeling of loss.  
  
People swarmed all around her, asking questions, searching for answers about the attack. James answered their questions. He had been there with her. He knew as much as she did. He kept the Aurors from asking her any questions.  
  
He never left her side.  
  
Through all the questions, all the expressions of concern, James never left Lily. He sat next to her at the picnic table, patiently dealing with everyone. He held her hand, rubbing his thumb across it in a comforting gesture. Lily stared straight ahead, not even acknowledging his presence. He wanted desperately to take her away from all this, but knew that he couldn't. They needed to be there. Even if they had left, the Aurors would have found them. They needed answers so they could put the pieces of the attack together. Aside from all that, Lily needed medical attention. After all that she had been through, James planned to make sure she saw a Healer before he let her leave.  
  
"How are you guys?"  
  
James looked up as Remus approached, his eyes full of concern. "As well as can be expected," he replied.  
  
Remus turned to Lily. "Lil? Are you all right?"  
  
Lily continued to stare straight ahead, not giving any sign that she was aware that Remus had joined them. Remus' eyes flicked from Lily to James, who shook his head.  
  
"James?"  
  
James looked up, and saw his father beckoning him. He turned to Remus, a bit of desperation showing in his eyes.  
  
"Remus, can you . . .?"  
  
"Of course." Remus sat down on Lily's other side, and put his arm around her, gently rubbing her back.  
  
"Thanks." James gently removed Lily's hand from his, and stood.  
  
"Don't leave me."  
  
James nearly jumped, and looked down at Lily in surprise. Her green eyes were full of tears.  
  
"Don't leave me," she said again.  
  
"Lily, I'm just going over there," James said gently, touching her face and hair. "I'll be right with my dad. You'll be able to see me the whole time. And Remus is here with you now."  
  
"I'll stay with you, Lily," Remus said softly, continuing to rub circles into her back.  
  
Lily nodded slowly, even as her tears began to fall. James took that as consent to leave, and leaned down to kiss the top of her head before joining his father. He sighed as he walked toward the older man. He had answered so many questions already. He didn't want to deal with any more.  
  
"How's Lily?" Mr. Potter asked.  
  
"In shock, I think," James replied, rubbing his hands over his face. When he looked at his father again, his eyes were full of pain. "He put the Cruciatus on her, Dad. That bastard used an Unforgivable on her."  
  
"Be glad it was the one she could recover from," Mr. Potter replied, putting his hand on his son's shoulder. "He didn't force her to do anything against her will. He didn't kill her. For Voldemort, he was merciful."  
  
"Why was he here?" James asked. "Why on earth would he show up at Petunia's wedding?"  
  
"What better place to cause death and destruction than a Muggle wedding attended by wizards?" Mr. Potter replied. "From what we've been able to gather, the Death Eaters have been attacking weddings just like this one. They look through the papers until they find wedding announcements that include families that are both Muggles and wizards, and, if you will, crash them. The attacks aren't always as messy as this one was today – I think that the resistance you and Lily put up was a bit of a surprise. And I'm certain that Voldemort doesn't show up for most events." Pride filled his voice and expression. "You and Lily did incredibly well before we came, James. No one could expect more of you. You defended yourselves and quite a few Muggles. You encountered Voldemort, and you lived to tell the tale. Do you realize how few people can say that?"  
  
"I'm sure the Death Eaters were thrilled by the fact there were Squibs here," James said almost to himself, almost as though he hadn't heard his father's praise.  
  
"Squibs? Who's a Squib?"  
  
"Lily's parents."  
  
"I didn't know that."  
  
"Yeah, they just told her yesterday. She was still reeling from that, and now this happened at the wedding, plus taking the Cruciatus . . . No wonder she's so messed up."  
  
Mr. Potter's expression grew serious. "James, does Lily know about her parents?"  
  
"What about them?"  
  
"James, we found their bodies." His expression changed again, now holding as much sorrow as an Auror was allowed. "They were both hit with Killing Curses."  
  
"What?" James blinked. He felt his throat tighten. "Both of them? Lily's parents are both gone?" Tears began to sting at the corners of his eyes. How could that be true? How could they be gone?  
  
"They're gone." Mr. Potter confirmed, tightening his grip on James' shoulder. "She needs to know, James. Do you want me to tell her?"  
  
James blinked again, and swallowed hard. "No. No, Dad, she needs to hear it from me."  
  
"Are you ready to do this?"  
  
"No," he replied honestly. "But will I ever be?"  
  
"James, listen. Just be really gentle about how you tell her, and –"  
  
"Look, Dad, I know that you're the expert, and that you give people this kind of news all the time, but . . . Lily's my fiancée. I love her more than anything. She knows me better than anyone in the world, and I'd like to think that I know her just as well. So, thank you for the advice, but I want to do this my way."  
  
Mr. Potter nodded. "You can do this, James."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
James waited for his father to release his shoulder so he could go talk to Lily, but instead of letting him go, Mr. Potter pulled him close. He had nearly lost his son – his only child. His family had nearly been ripped apart. He felt tears of his own pressing the back of his eyes, and tried desperately to recover his composure. An Auror wasn't allowed to show emotion like this at a battle scene.  
  
At first James was surprised by his father's show of affection, but he quickly realized how good it felt to be locked in his arms. He was about to give Lily the devastating news that her parents had died, but it could easily have been the other way around. His parents were Order members, and his father was an Auror. Their lives were in danger every day. As the thought went through his head, James tightened his hold on his father. He was so lucky to still have his parents with him. After today, he would never take them for granted again.  
  
Mr. Potter released his son, and patted him on the back several times. "If you need help, I'll be here."  
  
"Thanks, Dad," James said again.  
  
He turned and began his impossibly long – and short – journey across the yard. He glanced to one side, and saw Sirius working with Moody as he questioned a captured Death Eater. Across from him, Olivia was with Frank, modifying the memories of several wedding guests who had already been questioned. Peter and Laura were helping Order members assess the wounded, and escorting them to Healers. He couldn't find Dana. He wondered where she had gone. Then all thoughts of Dana flew from his mind. The only person who matter right now was only a few steps away from him.  
  
Lily was leaning on Remus' as James reached the picnic table. Remus looked up at him. "Did your dad have more questions about what happened?" he asked.  
  
James shook his head, and knelt down in front of Lily. "No, he had some information for me." He reached out, and took Lily's hand. "Lil, I need to talk to you."  
  
Lily turned to look at him. "Do they know why this happened?" she asked hoarsely.  
  
"Sort of," James replied uncomfortably. "But we can talk about that later. Right now, we need to talk about – about what happened today. About the – the casualties."  
  
Lily nodded slowly, an invitation to continue.  
  
"Lil, my dad and the other Aurors have been all over the house and the yard, looking for Death Eaters, talking to witness, and . . . finding survivors. You've seen all that they've done. While they were working, they found – they found your parents."  
  
A spark of hope jumped into Lily's eyes. "My parents are all right?"  
  
"Lily, I . . ." Tears filled his eyes. "In a way, yes, your parents are fine."  
  
"What do you mean, 'in a way?'"  
  
Remus' hand stopped rubbing Lily's back as he realized what James was about to say. He put his arm tightly around her waist, trying to stop her from falling when she heard the inevitable.  
  
"Your parents are fine, Lil, because they'll never feel pain again. They'll never be sad, or cry. They'll never be tired, or feel worn out just thinking about all they have to do. They'll never see the destruction that Voldemort is causing in our world. They'll never have to worry again. They'll never feel panic, or fear. They'll never be sick. They'll – They're happy, they're safe, and . . . they're with God and their families." A tear slid down James' cheek. "Your parents died, Lily. They were both hit with Killing Curses. They're gone."  
  
Lily's eyes, which had grown wider with each sentence James spoke, snapped shut. She forcefully shook head. "No, James, no – you're wrong – oh, God – NO!"  
  
As she shrieked the last word, her eyes flew open again, and tears spilled down her cheeks. "NO! NO, JAMES, THEY'RE NOT GONE!"  
  
"Lily, I'm so sorry – I wish there was another way – I wish I was wrong –" One hand still clutched hers, and the other reached up to touch her cheek and smooth her hair.  
  
"Oh, God!" Lily started to fall forward, but Remus caught her.  
  
James jumped up, and pulled her close, into a standing position. She sobbed against him, burying her face in his shoulder. When her spasm of tears was spent, she took gulping breaths, trying to calm herself down, and to gain enough air to speak.  
  
"I saw him," she whispered.  
  
"Whom did you see?"  
  
"My dad." Her voice was so low that James hoped he had misheard her.  
  
"You saw your dad?"  
  
"Right after the – the curse hit him. I was with Petunia, trying to keep her safe, and she screamed – when I looked, my dad was on the ground. I ran over to him, to try to help him. It was just like Moody kept saying – he just looked surprised. I knew then, James – I KNEW! But I couldn't believe it. I couldn't let it be true! Why did you have to make it true, James? WHY?"  
  
"Lil . . ."  
  
"But I didn't see my mum. I heard Petunia scream again, but I couldn't look – I didn't want to know . . ." She looked up at him, her face tear- streaked. "Can I see my mum?"  
  
"I don't know where she is," James confessed. "But if you want, I can find out."  
  
Lily nodded. "I want to see her."  
  
James nodded a bit reluctantly. He didn't know how this would go. "Are you sure?"  
  
Tears slipped down her cheeks again. "Yes," she whispered. "I need to see her, or I won't believe it."  
  
James looked at Remus, who was still hovering nearby uncertainly. "Will you stay with her for a moment?"  
  
Remus nodded, and stepped closer to Lily. When James released her, Remus caught her in his arms. Lily looked at him.  
  
"I can stand."  
  
"No, you can't. Aside from everything else, you're still recovering from a Cruciatus curse" Remus said. He loosened his grip, and Lily swayed. "See?"  
  
She tried to smile, but more tears fell. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't be. You have nothing to apologize for. Just cry."  
  
She turned her face into Remus' shoulder, and James left them. He knew that he could entrust Lily to Remus' care. He would take care of her. Now he had to find his father. He looked around, and saw him talking to someone.  
  
"Dad!"  
  
Mr. Potter turned away from the Auror trainee he was talking to, and looked at James. "How is she?"  
  
James shook his head. "She wants to see her mum's body."  
  
Mr. Potter nodded. "Of course. I wouldn't let Moody have them moved to St. Mungo's until she had seen them."  
  
"You expected this?" James asked, wide-eyed with surprise.  
  
"Of course I did. Most people can't believe that a loved one is gone until they can see the body."  
  
"That's what she said – she said she wouldn't be able to believe it until she saw her mum. She knew about her dad – she saw his body right after the curse hit him."  
  
"Well, she can see them both if she wants – they're together."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"Over there." He pointed to the tent James had seen Peter and Laura taking people to for help. "They have a section where they keep the victims' bodies until they're transported."  
  
James nodded. "Thanks, Dad." He turned to go.  
  
"James, wait."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
Mr. Potter stepped closer. "I was watching you – when you told her. I couldn't hear everything, obviously, but from what I could see – you did a great job."  
  
James smiled sadly. "I just wish I didn't have to."  
  
"So do I, James. Believe me, so do I."  
  
With a nod, James left his father. Remus had moved Lily back onto the picnic bench. She was collapsed against him, her shoulders still shaking. James sighed. Was this really a good idea?  
  
"Lil?"  
  
Lily looked up at him. "Did you find them?"  
  
"Yeah. Come on, I'll take you over there now."  
  
She nodded, and allowed James to help her to her feet. Remus looked at them uncertainly, but remained seated. This was something they needed to do on their own.  
  
They walked across the yard in silence, unaware of the stares that followed them. Moody and Longbottom watched them with undisguised pride. They had trained these two new members of their Order. They had watched them change from children to adults. The change had been abrupt, and had been forced upon them perhaps faster than it should have been, but they had handled it well. They had fought Voldemort and lived– something very few could claim. In that moment, without ever discussing it, the two Aurors knew that James and Lily would be instrumental to their cause. They didn't know exactly how or why, but they knew that they needed them to defeat the Dark Lord.  
  
Lily wiped away her tears as they approached the tent. She didn't want her mother to see her crying. She didn't want her to know how lost she felt.  
  
James swept the tent flap open, and ushered Lily in ahead of him. A Healer looked up from the bedside of a Muggle – one of Vernon's relatives.  
  
"Are you hurt?" she asked.  
  
James shook his head. "We understand that her parents are here."  
  
"What are their names?" the woman asked.  
  
"Paul and Brenna Evans," Lily choked out.  
  
The Healer's eyes widened, then filled with compassion. "Of course," she whispered. "They're right over here."  
  
James and Lily followed her across the tent to a section that was partitioned off, separating it from the rest of the room. She paused at the entrance, and looked at Lily.  
  
"Are you sure you're ready?"  
  
Lily nodded, her face set with determination. The woman nodded, and looked at James.  
  
"Are you going in with her?"  
  
James turned to Lily, who nodded again, tightening her grip on his hand.  
  
"Very well," the Healer said. "Take as long as you like."  
  
James nodded. "Thank you."  
  
Still holding tightly to one another's hands, Lily and James walked into the small room. When they entered, any sounds from the outside world stopped. James realized at once that a silencing charm had been put on the room. It made sense. Grief didn't need witnesses.  
  
Two cots stood on the far side of the room. The occupants had sheets drawn up over their faces. Lily took in a sharp breath when she realized the significance of the sheets. She began to shake, and held James' hand even tighter.  
  
"Are you sure, Lil?" James whispered. "We can leave now if you want. You don't have to do this."  
  
"Yes, I do."  
  
James nodded. "If this is what you want . . ."  
  
She nodded, and made her way across the room. She stopped in front of the first cot, and dropped James' hand to pull back the sheet. She trembled again as she looked down at her father's still face.  
  
"Daddy," she whispered. His eyes and mouth were now closed. She reached out to run her hand over his forehead. "You always believed in me, didn't you?" Tears slid down her cheeks. "I hope I made you proud. I tried. I wanted so much to please you. I know how excited you were about me being a witch." She drew a shaky breath. "With all that I can do, I couldn't save you. I'm so sorry, Daddy. I'm so sorry that I couldn't save you."  
  
She turned her face into James' shoulder, trying to regain her composure. He rubbed her back, trying to help her calm down. After a moment, she looked back at her father.  
  
"I'm sorry that you won't be at my wedding. I wanted you to walk me down the aisle. I – I'll tell my children all about you. You would have been the best grandfather. I know you were in denial about being old enough to have grandchildren, but now I just wish you could have been a little older. I wish you could have met them." She leaned down to kiss his forehead. "I love you, Daddy."  
  
She straightened up, and picked up the sheet to cover his face again. But, as she looked down at the face she had loved since birth, she knew she couldn't do it. She couldn't cover his face, shutting out the world. She folded it over his chest instead. The Healers could do whatever they wanted once she was gone.  
  
Taking James' hand again, she walked to the other cot. Once again, she released James' hand to pull back the sheet. Her hands trembled violently as she picked up the edges. James reached out to put his hands over hers.  
  
"Do you want me to do it?"  
  
"No," she replied. "I have to."  
  
He nodded, and took his hands away from hers. She drew a deep breath, and pulled back the sheet.  
  
Her mother lay before her as though she was peacefully sleeping. The Healers had closed her eyes and mouth, and charmed her face to take away the surprised look that had undoubtedly been there before. What had her face looked like? Had she been afraid when she saw the jet of green light rushing toward her? Had she recognized it for what it was? In that split second before it hit her, did she realize that she was about to die? Did she have time for any regrets? Lily closed her eyes for a moment, trying to steady her emotions.  
  
When she opened her eyes again, and leaned over, reaching down to touch her mother's face. Tears fell from her own eyes, splashing on her mother's cheeks.  
  
"Mummy," she whispered. "Mummy, I'm so sorry. This was my fault. If I had only been more careful, and paid more attention to what was going on, I would have seen that you were in danger." She shook her head. "But you would say that it's not my fault, and that I need to stop blaming myself for everything, wouldn't you? That's what you always told me. I protected Petunia, Mummy. She's safe, and so is Vernon. They can still have the life they wanted. And Petunia and I are friends now. Didn't you see us before the wedding? I know you did, and I know how happy you must have been. You've wanted us to reconcile for so long now. I'm just sorry that you didn't get to see it for more than a day. I'm sorry that it took us so long to learn to love one another again." She drew in a sharp breath to silence the sob that threatened to choke her.  
  
James reached out to touch her back, gently run his hand up and down her spine. She shivered slightly, but was grateful for his presence and the silent comfort he offered.  
  
"I'm so glad that you got to meet James, Mummy. I'm so glad that you got to see us engaged – to approve of him. I just wish – I wish you could have danced at my wedding the way that you danced at Petunia's." A sob escaped her throat before she could stop it. "I wish we could have had more time together." She leaned down, and kissed her mother's cheek. "I love you, Mummy. I love you so much."  
  
James' hand stopped on her shoulder. She looked up at him.  
  
"I can't leave her, James. I can't."  
  
James nodded. "We'll stay as long as you need to."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Lily reached down, and took her mother's hand. "You're so cold," she whispered. "Oh, God, why? Why did you let this happen? My parents are – were – good people! They don't deserve this! This wasn't supposed to happen!"  
  
"Lil," James whispered.  
  
She turned, and looked at him for a moment. For one frightening moment, the thought of losing James ran through her head. She couldn't deal with that. She just couldn't. As if it would keep him alive, she threw her arms around him.  
  
James held her close, trying to still her shaking. He stroked her hair and her back, and murmured soothing words to her. He didn't really know what he was saying, but it seemed to make Lily feel better.  
  
Time stood still as they held each other. Lily had no idea how much time had passed when she pulled away to look at James.  
  
"Just another minute, please."  
  
James kissed her forehead. "Take as long as you want."  
  
She nodded, and turned back to her mother. "You made me what I am," she whispered. "Without you, I don't know where I'd be. Thank you, Mummy. Thank you for everything you've done for me for so many years."  
  
As she had with her father, Lily folded the sheet across her mother's chest. She kissed her cheek again, then took James' hand.  
  
"I'm ready."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"I'm sure. Besides, I'm sure there are so many people I need to talk to outside."  
  
James nodded. "That's true. But, if you need more time . . ."  
  
"No," she replied. "I'm ready."  
  
James nodded, and steered her out of the makeshift morgue, and into the treatment area. As soon as they had crossed from one room to the next, two people rushed across the distance. Relief flooded through James as he recognized them. He knew that they would do everything in their power to help Lily. Perhaps, on some level, he had known that the two Healers-in- training would be here in the temporary hospital.  
  
"Lils," Dana whispered.  
  
She threw her arms around her friend. As soon as Dana embraced her, Lily began to sob again. She released James' hand to hug her, clinging to her like a lifeline. Dana held her tightly, rocking her back and forth slightly.  
  
Remus moved closer to James. "How did it go?"  
  
James sighed, and ran his hand through his hair. "That was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my entire life."  
  
Remus nodded, and put his hand on James' shoulder. "You've done great today, James. You've been a rock for her, and that's what she's needed."  
  
"I just hope I can keep it up for as long as she needs it."  
  
"You will. And you won't be alone. We're all here to help you."  
  
"I know." He tried to smile. "I'd be lost without you guys."  
  
A shadow fell over the group as a tall man appeared in the doorway. James looked up, and recognized Dumbledore.  
  
"Lily, I need to speak with you."  
  
James looked at his former professor in shock. What could be so important that it couldn't wait until Lily had at the very least stopped crying?  
  
Lily broke away from Dana, and looked up at Dumbledore. Her tears still fell, but she met his gaze. He took this as permission to continue.  
  
"I have heard that Voldemort attacked you with a Cruciatus curse."  
  
Lily slowly nodded without feeling. Yes, she had felt the pain of a Cruciatus Curse. Her parents hadn't been so fortunate. They were not alive to tell of the curse that had been used against them.  
  
"You'll have to be checked over by a Healer," Dumbledore stated.  
  
"It's not important," Lily replied. "I'm fine."  
  
"We want to be sure," Dumbledore said, giving her a penetrating look. He moved closer, and took her hands in his. "Lily, you must understand that nothing that happened today was your fault."  
  
Lily looked at him reproachfully. She was mildly surprised with herself. She had never looked at a teacher, or any person in authority, like that before. Even so, there was no way she could remove the expression from her face.  
  
"I've heard many different things since the Aurors began questioning people, but the one thing that has stood out was that the Death Eaters attacked because this was a wedding that involved both Muggles and wizards," she said. "How that takes ANY blame away from me is a mystery."  
  
James looked at her in surprise. He had not realized that Lily had picked up that tidbit of information. He looked at Remus, who shrugged.  
  
"That's true," Dumbledore replied thoughtfully. "But would you have denied your sister the chance to get married because you are a witch?"  
  
"No, of course not," Lily replied. "She wanted this. She loves Vernon."  
  
"Exactly. And I know that you've spent a good deal of time with her this week. Would you change that?"  
  
"No," Lily said slowly. "We've become closer in the past week than we've been in the past eight years. But, still, sir, I don't see how this removes any of the blame from me. If I hadn't been here, my parents would still be alive."  
  
"Not necessarily," Dumbledore replied. "The Death Eaters attacked because they knew there would be a wedding celebration today. They knew this because of an article in the newspaper. That article did not include a guest list. They would have attacked, Lily, whether you were here or not. As it was, you WERE here, and you and James managed to save quite a few lives. From what I understand, you saved your own sister."  
  
"I couldn't let her die," Lily said softly.  
  
"No, you couldn't. You put your own life in danger to preserve hers. You created a bond between yourself and your sister that is stronger than any bond you had before. You are connected now in more ways than you can know."  
  
"But I couldn't save my parents."  
  
James moved forward as Lily's tears began again, pulling her close. "Can't she please rest now?"  
  
Dumbledore nodded. "I'll find a Healer to look her over, and we'll see about a potion for a dreamless sleep."  
  
James nodded his agreement.  
  
"I don't want to sleep now," Lily protested. "I'll let a Healer check me or whatever, but I don't want to sleep. I want to talk to my sister." 


	8. Aftermath

A/N: I'm sorry, but this is another sad one. I'd say enjoy, but . . . Well, thanks for reading and reviewing! You know how much I love you all!

I don't own the Harry Potter universe.

Aftermath

"Drink this, Lils. It'll help you."

Lily sniffed at the potion, then gave Dana a dubious look. "You're just in training to be a Healer, Dana. Are you sure that this is going to help me, and not send me into a dreamless sleep?"

Dana smiled slightly. "Healer Stevens gave it to me to give you, I'll have you know. I had nothing to do with the selection of the potion. But, Dumbledore gave her strict orders to make sure that you stayed awake as long as you wanted. This is to help you get over the effects of the Cruciatus."

Lily nodded, and downed the contents of the vial in one gulp, grimacing at the taste. "Happy?"

"Yes."

"And do you feel better?"

Lily shrugged. She wondered if she'd ever feel better again.

"At least it's something," Dana muttered. "I'm sure it's already started working."

Lily nodded slightly. Why couldn't Dana focus on what was really important? "Can I go see Petunia now?"

"I suppose. Do you want James to go with you?"

Lily thought for a moment, then shook her head. "He'll just try to jump in and talk for me. I want to do this on my own."

"You'd better tell him where you're going. If he comes in here and finds out you're gone without his knowledge, I'm never going to hear the end of it."

Lily shook her head. "He worries too much."

"You worry just as much about him."

Lily nodded, knowing that it was true. She pushed herself off her cot. "Where is he?"

"He went out to see if he could help the Aurors."

"Then I'm going outside."

Dana nodded. "I'll help you find him."

The two girls walked out of the tent, surprised to see that darkness had fallen while they were inside. Lily had completely lost track of time; she had no idea that it was that late. She looked around the yard, searching for James.

"There he is," Dana said after a moment. "He's with Sirius."

"I guess I should have expected that."

Lily and Dana walked across the yard together. Sirius saw them coming first, and nudged James. He turned to them, concern written plainly on his face.

"How are you?" he asked as soon as the girls reached them.

"All right," Lily replied. It wasn't true, and both of them knew it, but she couldn't bring herself to answer his question honestly.

Sirius looked at her for a moment, and, without a word, drew her into an embrace. Lily was surprised, but hugged him. Sirius held her tightly, trying to make her feel safe. After a moment, his tenderness broke through her reserve, and tears began to fall again. She buried her face in his shoulder, crying into his robes. He responded by running his hand over her back, still holding her just as tightly. He held her until her spasm of tears was over, then pulled back to look at her.

"Do you feel better?" he asked.

"A little," she replied.

He shook his head. "No, you don't. But you will. You're strong, Little Flower. You can get through this. You can do anything. And you'll have all of us here to help you."

She tried to smile, but another tear fell instead. "Thank you, Sirius."

He smiled, and took her face in his hands. "James has always been like my brother, Lily. After all we've been through during the past couple of years, you're like my sister. I'd do anything for you."

"I know." She tried to smile again, and two more tears fell.

Sirius took a deep breath, and removed his hands from her face. "James tells me you want to see Petunia."

Lily nodded. "Do you know where she is?"

"Yeah, she's over with all the others we've questioned but want to talk to again. That's a good thing, really, because it means that her memory hasn't been modified yet."

Lily nodded again. That was good. She wanted Petunia to have clear memories of the last few days while she talked to her. She wanted to retain the relationship they had only just begun to rebuild.

"I can take you to her, if you like."

"Thanks, Sirius."

"I'll come with you," James said at once.

"No," Lily protested.

James blinked. "What?"

"I don't want you to come with me."

"Why not?"

Lily felt hot anger rush through her. How could he ask such a stupid question? "I want to talk to my sister alone, James," she spat. "How difficult is that to understand?"

James looked surprised. "Sorry, Lil. I'll just . . ."

"I need you," Dana said quickly.

Lily nodded. "Fine. Stay with Dana or whatever. I have to go see Petunia."

James watched her walk away with Sirius, and turned to Dana. "Do you know what the hell that was all about?"

"She wants to be alone with her sister," Dana replied carefully.

"Yeah, that came through loud and clear," James replied. "But what about . . .?"

Dana sighed. "She's grieving, James. Her whole world was just turned upside down. You can't expect her to be the same Lily that she always was . . . not yet anyway. She's going through a lot right now, and she hasn't had the time she needs to process it or deal with it." She sighed again. "You've suffered losses during this war, James. You should understand that."

James shook his head. "I can't even begin to understand what she's going through right now."

"Well, that's a good thing. Not that you can't understand, but that you can recognize that you haven't been through anything this terrible. She needs you, James. Even when she doesn't act like it, she really needs you." She smiled sadly. "And let me just warn you now, it's going to get worse before it gets better."

James ran his hand through his hair. "I want to support her, Dana, I just don't know how."

"You're doing a great job so far. Just be there for her. Be whatever she needs – and remember, she's going to need a lot. She's going to try to push you away, to act like she doesn't need anyone – but she does. She really does need her friends, and she especially needs you." She smiled slightly. "I'll tell Aidan to talk to you. He's definitely had experience with this."

"Yeah," James said softly, remembering that Dana's father had died only a few months before. "Yeah, I guess he has."

"I'm here for both of you, James," Dana said softly. "If you need anything, you know where to find me."

"Thanks, Dana," James said with feeling. "Thank you so much."

Sirius led Lily into her house, into the living room. He took her hand, and looked deeply at her.

"This is where the people we want to question again are," he said softly. "You can take her somewhere else if you want, but make sure that she comes back here. If anyone is looking for her, I'll cover for you."

"Thanks, Sirius," Lily said, gently squeezing his hand.

"No problem."

Sirius squeezed her hand once, then walked away. Lily took a deep breath, and walked into the living room.

Petunia was there, sitting alone in her favorite chair. She was staring blankly at the television. Someone had turned it on, and the news was playing. Lily looked at it for a moment, wondering how anyone could possibly care about news of an explosion in Greece. Didn't they realize the destruction that was going on right in England? Didn't they realize the destruction that had happened in her life?

She looked back at Petunia, who was still staring at the television without really seeing it. Lily crossed to stand next to her sister.

"Petunia?"

Petunia's head snapped up at the sound of her name, her eyes wide. "I've already told you all I know!" she shrieked.

Lily put her hand on Petunia's shoulder. "Petunia, it's me. It's Lily."

Petunia looked up, her eyes finally focusing on her. "You!" she spat.

Lily looked at her for a moment, trying to assess her state of mind. She didn't want to try to talk to her if she was already in a towering rage. "Petunia, we need to talk."

"I don't think we do," Petunia said coldly. "Your friends have already told me everything I need to know."

"Who? What did they tell you?"

"They told me that our parents are dead!" she screamed, her eyes filling with tears. "They're gone, Lily! Do you realize that? Gone!"

Several people turned to look at them, their expressions compassionate. Lily looked at them, and knew in an instant why Sirius had told her to take Petunia away. She was already well on her way to hysteria.

"Come on, Petunia. Let's go upstairs or something. We don't need to have this conversation here."

"We'll have it where I want to have it!" Petunia yelled, jumping to her feet. She swiped at her cheeks, trying to wipe away her tears.

Lily sighed, resigning herself to the fact that Petunia would not move from the living room. "Who told you about Mum and Dad?"

"I don't know – that old man with the beard."

"Professor Dumbledore?"

"I think that's what he said."

Lily nodded. At least it had been Dumbledore who told her. He would have been very gentle about how he did it – just like James had been. "Does Vernon know?"

"How should I know? I haven't seen him since they brought me here. They said they had to question him. I don't know where they took him." Anger crossed her face. "Why would those awful people take him away from me?"

"They're like the police, Petunia. They wanted to talk to him about what happened."

"They could have talked to us together." Tears welled up in her eyes. "I really don't want to be alone right now."

"Have you seen them?" Lily asked, knowing that Petunia was thinking of their parents.

"Who?" The anger returned, as if Petunia had just realized that she was still talking to Lily. "The freaks that are running around all over the place? How could I miss them?"

"No, I mean, have you seen Mum and Dad?"

Petunia looked at her with wide eyes. "Why would I want to?"

"To say good bye," Lily replied softly.

Petunia shook her head firmly. "I'll do that at the funeral." She appeared to be thinking for a moment, willing herself to concentrate. "We'll have it for both of them together. We'll have two days of visitation first. I'll see when Father O'Leary can do the funeral."

"Who decided that you get to make all the decisions?" Lily yelled, her temper flaring. This was one point where she did not intend to let her sister walk all over her. "They were my parents, too! Don't you think that I'd want to be a part of planning this? I have as much right to say good bye to them as you do!"

"No!" Petunia's eyes narrowed into a glare, and tears started to slide down her cheeks again. "You don't have any right to be a part of this process! You shouldn't even be allowed to come to the funeral!"

"Why?" Lily taunted. "You don't want to see freaks like me there?"

"No, that's not it. I don't want you there because YOU'RE the one who killed our parents!"

Lily took a step back, her anger forgotten in the face of her horror. "No," she whispered. "No, I never –"

"It's because of _you_ that those people were here at all!"

It was the very thing that Lily had been fighting against ever since the first dementors had appeared. She was responsible for what had happened. Tears welled up in her eyes, and spilled over.

"You know you're guilty," Petunia said in a low voice, stepping closer to her. "You know that you caused Mum and Dad's deaths. It was as much your fault as if you had killed them with your bare hands."

"Petunia, I _never _wanted Mum and Dad dead! Never! I'd do anything to bring them back again!"

"But you couldn't save them. For eight years, all they've talked about was how proud they were that you're a witch, that you're magical! Well, look where it got them! They're both dead now, and _it's entirely your fault._" She stepped even closer; her eyes narrowed menacingly, her tears spent. "I'll never forgive you, Lily. I don't want to have anything to do with you, your freakish friends, or your freakish world. You do whatever you want to with your life, but I won't be a part of it. As of this moment, you're as dead to me as Mum and Dad are."

Lily's hands flew to her face, trying to stifle the sobs that wanted to shake her body. This was it. She had finally started to create a relationship with her sister, and now she had lost her again. And, somehow, she was afraid that this time, there would be no going back. A sob escaped, and Lily stumbled backwards, trying to flee the room as quickly as she could.

"Hey!"

Lily looked up, and saw that she had run into Sirius. "Oh, God – oh, Sirius – oh –"

"Hey, hey," Sirius said, pulling her close. He folded her into his arms, rocking her slightly back and forth. "It's all right, Little Flower. You're safe."

"Sirius – please, will you do something for me?"

"If I can."

"Modify my memory."

Sirius grabbed her by the shoulders, and pulled her away so that he could look into her face. "What did you just ask me to do?"

"Obliviate me! Make me forget that this day ever happened!"

"Lils, I can't do that."

"Yes, you can! You're training to be an Auror! All Aurors can do that! Even James can! Please, Sirius, please, take all this pain away from me! I don't want to remember it!"

"Little Flower, I am not going to do a memory charm on you."

"Sirius, please."

She was such a pathetic picture, with her face tear-streaked and crumpled in misery, that Sirius nearly gave in. He fought down the urge to do as she wanted.

"Please," she said again.

"Lily, I can't," Sirius said softly, knowing that he was breaking her heart for the moment.

"Why not?"

"You know why not. Because it's not the right thing to do. In fact, it's completely the wrong thing to do. You don't want to forget that your parents died."

"Yes, I do! I'm not like you, Sirius! I love my parents! I don't want to remember the pain of losing them!"

"Lil . . . I can't. You know that this is wrong. You said yourself that James can do a memory charm. Why not go and ask him to do it for you?"

Lily bit her lip. She wouldn't go to James, and they both knew why.

Sirius nodded. "James would refuse. He would refuse because it's wrong. You need to remember this day, Lils. It's horrible, it's a tragedy, but it's going to shape who you are." He touched her face, wiping away her tears. "You'll come out of this fighting, Lil. You'll be stronger than any of us by the end."

Lily drew a shaky breath. Sirius was right, and she knew it. "Take me to James," she said.

Sirius looked at her with one eyebrow raised. "You're not going to try this memory charm stuff on him, are you?" For all his brave words, he wasn't entirely sure that James would refuse her anything at this point.

"No. I just want to see him."

Sirius nodded. "I think that can be arranged. Come on, let's go find him."

"Petunia?"

Petunia looked up, and saw Vernon coming into the living room. "Vernon!" she cried, jumping up to hug him. "Are they finally done questioning you?"

"Who are all these people?" he asked vaguely. "What are they doing at your parents house? Where are your parents?"

Petunia gasped. "Are you in some sort of shock?"

"No," a new voice said. "His memory has been modified."

Petunia gasped again as she looked up at the same old man who had brought her the news that her parents had died. "What did you do to him?" she demanded.

"The same thing I need to do to you," Dumbledore replied, holding up his wand. "I'm going to perform a memory charm on you, Petunia. It won't hurt you, but it will cause you to forget all that you've been through today."

"You're going to make me forget my wedding?"

"Oh, no. I'll simply wipe your memories of everything that's happened since the dementors arrived."

Petunia looked at him warily. That meant that she'd forget what had happened with Lily. She certainly didn't want to forget that. She wanted to remember who had caused her parents' deaths for the rest of her life. She'd never forgive her sister. "No," she said.

Dumbledore blinked. "Excuse me?"

"I said no. I'm not going to let you erase my memories."

"With all due respect, Mrs. Dursley, this is for the best. We don't want you to be burdened with all these memories of the wizarding world, which, as I have heard, you rather despise."

"I don't want anything to do with your world," Petunia replied. "But I don't want to forget all that's happened today. I will not allow you to do anything to me. Not today, and not ever."

Dumbledore looked at her for a moment. "I cannot make that promise," he said softly. "There may be a time when you will rely on magic for your very existence."

"That will be a sad day indeed," Petunia sniffed.

Dumbledore nodded slightly. "Very well. If you wish to retain your memories, I will allow it. However, I require your solemn promise that you will not breathe a word of what you have seen today to anyone. You cannot tell another living soul."

"Don't worry," Petunia said quickly. "I don't want anyone to know that I have any association with your world."

Dumbledore nodded. "All the same, you must sign a contract with me." He waved his wand, and a piece of parchment appeared in the air. He flicked the wand again, and words appeared on the contract. "You will have my protection, Petunia, so long as you adhere to the conditions of this contract."

"Your protection?" she scoffed. "What good will that do me?"

"Plenty," Dumbledore replied. "I can call in twenty people right now who will declare me to be the most powerful wizard in our world."

For the first time, Petunia looked a bit afraid. "You're more powerful than those people who killed my parents?"

"Oh, yes," Dumbledore replied as if it was of little consequence. "And I will protect you and your family, so long as you do not discuss today's events with another living soul, save your sister and James Potter. That is all outlined in the contract. I also have the ability to add more conditions to this contract as I see fit at any time in the future."

"This doesn't seem like a fair arrangement," Petunia replied.

"Life is not always fair, is it? I, however, feel that I am being very generous to you, with this offer of protection."

Petunia glared at him. "And if I refuse to sign?"

"I will modify your memory." His expression changed, and in an instant the kind old man was gone, replaced by a hardened soldier. "Remember, Petunia, that I have the power to protect you against all you have seen today, but I also have the power to let you feel the wrath of the wizarding world."

"Is that a threat?"

"If it needs to be. You will agree to my terms, Petunia. If you refuse, you will pay the consequences."

"You wouldn't hurt me. I've seen the way you are with others. You wouldn't cause pain."

"Wouldn't I?" Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "Believe me, Petunia, I hold all the cards. I can protect you, or I can destroy you," he continued, his eyes narrowing slightly. He handed her a quill. "You will agree to this contract, and you will sign it, or I will modify your memory. The choice is yours."

"Choice? You leave me no choice."

"Everything is always a choice. Some choices are easier than others, and some provide better options than others, but the final decision is always yours, and yours alone."

Petunia gave him a hateful look, and signed her name on the parchment. It didn't even register that it was the first time she had signed Dursley as her surname.

James watched as Lily and Sirius came toward him. Lily was walking slowly, and Sirius was poised to catch her at any moment.

"How is she?"

James glanced to his left, where Olivia had appeared. He shrugged, and looked back at Lily and Sirius. "She asked Sirius to take her to Petunia. That's all I know. She didn't want me to go with her."

"Don't take it personally, James," Olivia said, surprised by the slight bitterness in his tone. "She's been through more in the past six hours than most people go through in a lifetime. The last thing she needs right now is for you to be angry with her over something so petty."

James looked back at Olivia. She was right, and he knew it. "You're a very harsh person when you want to be."

"The truth hurts," she said with a slight smile. "Just support her, James. Love her."

"I do love her."

"I know, and so does she. But, somehow, I think she's going to need you to prove it now."

James nodded. "I will. I'll do whatever she needs me to do."

They both fell silent as Sirius and Lily approached. Lily looked at James for a moment, then collapsed into his arms. He held her tightly, stroking her back and kissing the top of her head. Lily finally pulled away, and looked up at him.

"Take me home, James. I can't stand being here anymore."

"All right," James said, already feeling a bit panicked.

Lily couldn't Apparate. In her emotional state, she'd be lucky to only splinch herself into two pieces if she tried. The house wasn't connected to the Floo network. And James still hadn't learned how to drive. Who could drive their car?

Sirius and Olivia were out. Despite Sirius' continued search for the perfect flying motorbike, neither of them could do more than sit in a car. Remus knew the mechanics, but had never learned to actually perform the driving process. Even if he could drive, the Healers had put him to work. Dana might know, but she, like Remus, was busy dealing with the victims of the battle. That left one person.

"Lil, can you stay here with Liv and Sirius for a minute? I need to find Laura."

Lily looked slightly bewildered, but nodded her agreement. Olivia pulled her close, and James began the search for his Muggle-born friend.

Laura was talking to an Auror James didn't know. Judging by the amount of notes she was taking, she was preparing a report for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. James stepped closer to them, clearing his throat.

"Laura? Excuse me, but could I speak with you?"

"Of course," Laura said, putting down her quill. "I'll be right back," she informed the Auror. The older woman nodded, and Laura walked a little away from her with James.

"I need your help," James said without preamble.

"I'll do anything I can," Laura replied, her eyes showing instant concern. "Is it Lily?"

"Yes. She wants to go home, but I'm not about to let her Apparate right now, and I can't . . . Do you know how to drive a car?" he finished with a sheepish smile.

"Do you mean to tell me that we bought you that beautiful car, and you can't even drive it?" she asked with a smile of her own.

"Yeah, that's about it," James replied. "Can you drive us back to London? Is it okay for you to leave?"

"Yeah, I'll do it. There are so many people from the department here that I've been trying to find things to do. I'll meet you and Lily at the car in ten minutes."

"Thanks, Laura." James leaned over to kiss her forehead. "You're the best."

Laura smiled, and waved a hand as if to shoo him away. "Go find Lily."

"All right."

James returned to where he had left Lily with Sirius and Olivia. The two Auror trainees looked rather relieved to see him.

"Moody just came over and told us that Crouch is here," Sirius said in a low voice. "Liv and I need to get back to work."

"Who's Crouch?" James frowned.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "When are you going to start remembering the names of the department heads?"

"When I become one," James replied sarcastically. "Who is he?"

"He's the head of the Auror department in the Ministry. He's a titch crazy, and if he thinks that we're not doing anything here, he'll have us both out of the Academy. I'll just see you at home later, all right?"

"All right. Work hard."

Sirius shook his head. He kissed Lily's cheek, saying good bye. Lily hugged both of her friends, then looked at James.

"Can we go home now?"

"In about five minutes. Laura's going to drive us. Do you need anything?"

"Yeah, my stuff is still in my room."

"Well, let's go get it."

Lily was careful not to look at anyone as she led James through the house. They reached her room, and began packing up her things. She picked up the picture of James kissing her, and looked at it for a moment before placing it in her purse. She glanced around the room, trying to see if she had forgotten anything, and released a shaky breath.

"Are you all right?"

Lily turned to James with over-bright eyes. "This was my room for my entire life but now . . . I'll probably never see it again. Mummy and Daddy are . . . Petunia and I  . . . Well, the house will be sold. I'll never be here again."

James crossed the room, and pulled her close. He didn't say anything. He couldn't think of a single phrase that might offer her comfort. She responded to his silence, however, and pulled herself together.

"Come on," she said, drawing away from him. "We have to meet Laura."

James nodded, and followed her out of the house.

Lily's flat was silent when the arrived. The other girls were still at the battle scene, and Laura had returned home after dropping them off. Lily dropped her things on the coffee table, and surveyed the living room as though she had never seen it before. James watched her uncertainly.

"Do you want something to eat? I can make you –"

"Oh, stop," Lily sighed. "We both know that you can't cook."

"For you, I'd try."

She gave him a sad smile. "I just want to go to sleep."

James pulled a vial from his pocket. "Dana gave me this to give you. It's a potion for a dreamless sleep."

Lily shook her head. "Between Dana and Dumbledore, I'll never dream again."

"You don't want it?"

"I'll take it," she said, reaching for the bottle.

"Come on," James said, leading her to her bedroom. "Let's get you ready for bed."

Fifteen minutes later, Lily collapsed onto her bed. James sat down on the edge, and took her hand.

"Do you want your potion now?"

"Will you stay with me?" Lily asked, rather than responding.

"Of course." He handed her the bottle.

"All night?" she asked as she uncorked it.

"If that's what you want."

She drank the potion, then nodded in response to his comment, her eyes teary again. "I don't want to be alone," she whispered. She turned over on her side, with her back to him. She couldn't stand to let him see her crying again.

James laid down next to her and pulled her close, pressing his chest against her back. "You're not alone," he said, wrapping his arms around her tightly. "You're never going to be alone. I'll never leave you."

A tear slid down her cheek. "I love you, James."

"I love you, too, Lily."


	9. Phases of Grief

A/N: I'm terribly sorry this took so long. As finals are (finally) approaching, my life is becoming insane. I'm going to try my best to update again next week, but I'm not going to promise anything until school is over on June 17. Please hang in there with me – once my summer break starts, I should be able to update much more frequently! Thanks for reading and reviewing – you know I love you all!  
  
I don't own Harry Potter.  
  
Phases of Grief  
  
"That was horrible," Remus said, running his hands over his face.  
  
"Did you think so?" Dana asked as she followed him out of the medical tent. "I thought it was fascinating."  
  
"You enjoyed seeing people in pain?" Remus asked as he lowered his hands.  
  
"Not really. I mean, I don't like that they're in pain, but I'm glad that we could help them." She paused, then continued. "The Death Eaters attacked their bodies with curses. But we attacked the curses, fighting to save their bodies, and to stop the damage that they caused. Think about it, Remus – we help the Order fight the Death Eaters in more ways than any of the other members. We fight on the battlefield like everyone else, but we also fight to save the lives of the people who have been directly affected by the curses."  
  
Remus looked at her for a moment. "You're going to be a great Healer, Dana."  
  
She flushed. "So are you."  
  
"No," he said, shaking his head. "You really love this. It's what you were meant to do."  
  
"Don't you love it?"  
  
"I love my father," Remus said quietly. "Do you see Laura anywhere?"  
  
"No," Dana replied, a bit surprised by his sudden change of topic. "But Sirius is over there. He might know where she is."  
  
Remus nodded. "I'll go talk to him. Are you going to stick around here for awhile, or are you leaving?"  
  
"I'm going to look for Olivia and Lily, and then I'm going to visit Aidan. I just – I really want to see him right now."  
  
Remus nodded in understanding. It was the same reason he wanted to find Laura. "Well, I'll see you later, then."  
  
"Take care."  
  
"You, too."  
  
Remus crossed to where Sirius was standing with a Muggle – one of Vernon's relatives by the look of her. She was a large woman, and shared many of his features. As Remus approached, Sirius raised his wand, pointing it at the woman. She gasped, and tried to duck away from him. Sirius scowled.  
  
"Hold still for two seconds, you old bag," he muttered. "Obliviate."  
  
A dreamy look came over the woman's face as her memories left her. Sirius scowled again, then noticed Remus hovering nearby.  
  
"Moony! Come on over! I've just finished my last memory charm."  
  
"Memory charm?" the woman asked. "What's that? And what's that in your hand?"  
  
"Dammit," Sirius muttered. "Guess I was wrong on that." He raised his wand again. "Obliviate."  
  
The dreamy look returned, and Sirius directed the woman back inside the house. He turned to Remus with a relieved smile.  
  
"That was Vernon's sister, Marge – horrible woman. I've never seen anyone be so terrified, angry, demanding, degrading, and uncooperative at the same time." He grinned. "Crouch is here – I'll bet he would have been fine with me using something stronger than a memory charm on her."  
  
Remus laughed. "So it's true what they said about Aurors being allowed to use Unforgivables now?"  
  
"Not quite yet, but Crouch is all for it. He's an action man; he'll have it passed through the Ministry in no time."  
  
"Do you think it's a good idea?"  
  
Sirius shrugged. "Not particularly. I mean, we're fighting because people are using Unforgivables against others. If we're going to use them as well, doesn't that make us no better than them?"  
  
"I suppose so," Remus said slowly. He was rather surprised by Sirius' attitude. Most Aurors were thrilled at the prospect of being able to fight back with the same spells that they spent their lives dodging.  
  
"I think Crouch is a little crazy," Sirius continued in a whisper. "He's completely obsessed with catching the Death Eaters. I mean, I know that's what all Aurors do, and it's what I want to spend the rest of my career doing, but he's really over the top about it." He smiled, and began talking at a normal level again. "Eh, what do I know? I'm just in training."  
  
"I guess," Remus replied, looking at Sirius curiously.  
  
"Are you done for the night?"  
  
"Yeah, finally," Remus replied. "You?"  
  
"I can't leave until Longbottom and Moody say I can. My current fear is that they won't let us leave until sometime next week. Those two have no idea how to stop working."  
  
Remus grinned. "Is Laura still around?"  
  
"No, she left awhile ago with James and Lily. She took them back to the girls' flat, from what I gathered." He grinned. "You know, James still doesn't know how to drive that car we bought them. I swear, that's the last time I try to give him something nice."  
  
Remus laughed. "He's so ungrateful. After all the trouble we went through . . . I guess I should say the trouble that Laura and Dana went through . . ."  
  
Sirius laughed. "My bank account is still feeling it, I'll have you know. I think Laura and Dana went a bit overboard."  
  
Remus smiled again. "Look, I'm going to get out of here." He looked around the yard. "I really can't take much more of this."  
  
"Sure, I understand," Sirius said, a concerned look crossing his face. "Are you all right to Apparate home?"  
  
"I'm going to go to Laura's first," Remus corrected. "I'll probably Floo home from there."  
  
"Fair enough. I'll see you later tonight, then."  
  
Remus nodded. "See you then."  
  
He Apparated into Laura's kitchen. She wasn't in that room; the lights were off. "Laura?" he called.  
  
A muffled sob reached his ears. He frowned, and felt his pulse speed up. Was she in danger?  
  
"Laura?" he said again, telling himself not to panic before he knew what was going on. "Are you all right?"  
  
"I'm in here," Laura said, struggling to stop crying.  
  
Remus left the kitchen, and walked into the living room. Laura was curled up in a ball on the couch, clutching her knees to her chest. Tears ran down her cheeks, adding to the streaks that were already there. Remus crossed the room in two strides, and sat down next to her, pulling her close.  
  
She clung to him, sobbing against his chest. Her hands buried themselves in his robes, twisting the fabric as she cried out all the pain and anguish of the past day. Remus held her tightly, stroking her back and kissing her hair.  
  
"You're all right," he said softly. "No one can hurt you now. You're fine."  
  
"I know," she sobbed. "And that's the worst part!"  
  
Remus frowned in complete confusion. "What?"  
  
"Remus, do you realize how easily I could be Lily?"  
  
Remus' frown deepened. "I'm not following you."  
  
Laura took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "Lily is a Muggle-born witch. So am I. Lily's parents were Muggles. So are mine. Lily's sister is a Muggle. So are my siblings. Lily is going through hell right now because the Death Eaters destroyed her family. Remus, that could have been my family. I could be the one without parents. I could be the one whose siblings blame her for the destruction of everything familiar and sacred. My family could be next, Remus, and that terrifies me."  
  
Remus held her tightly. "We're going to do everything in our power to protect you, Laura. You saw what happened today. Several Death Eaters were caught, and the Aurors will force them to give away information. We'll be able to stop some future attacks."  
  
"But not all of them," Laura said softly.  
  
"Laura . . ."  
  
"I know that it could happen, Remus," she said. "Please don't try to tell me that it won't. You can't promise that, and we both know it."  
  
"You're right," Remus said wearily. "As much as I wish I could, I can't promise that your family will stay safe. I can't promise that everything will still be fine tomorrow. But it is fine right now, Laura. You're fine, and your family is fine. It's like James always says – you have to live like there won't be a tomorrow, because you don't know for sure that there will be. We have to live in each moment, and not take anything for granted."  
  
Laura sighed, and looked up at him. "Remus . . . that's not the worst part."  
  
"What is, love?"  
  
Her face crumpled. "I'm a bad person!"  
  
"Laura, you are the farthest thing from a bad person that I can imagine! You're one of the sweetest people alive. Don't try to tell me that you're a bad person."  
  
"I am, though. At the very least, I'm a bad friend!"  
  
"Why do you think that?"  
  
"Well, I just told you all my fears about my family. I was sitting here, thinking of all the terrible things that could happen, and . . . oh, God, Remus . . . I was glad that it was Lily and her family suffering! If it had to happen, I thanked God that it happened to her instead of me!"  
  
"Laura, that does not make you a bad person! No one would want to see their family in pain. After what we've seen today, anyone would be thankful that their family is safe."  
  
"And nine out of ten people think that werewolves are evil dark creatures who are just waiting to kill the first person they see," Laura countered. "We both know that's the farthest thing from the truth. Just because it's what everyone else thinks doesn't make it right."  
  
"No, that's true," Remus replied slowly. "But maybe I should have phrased that better." He paused, trying to collect his thoughts. "Are you glad that Lily is suffering? Did you want to see her parents killed? Does the destruction you saw today give you a warm and fuzzy feeling?"  
  
"No, of course not!" Laura exclaimed, horrified. "Why would you think that?"  
  
"I don't. But I also think that if that was how you felt, you'd be a bad person. You don't want to see Lily suffer, Laura. You'd just rather . . . If it had to happen, you're glad it happened to someone other than you. Whether that someone is Lily or a random citizen is irrelevant. It's not you, and that's why you're glad." He brushed a tear from her cheek, then let his palm rest on her face. "You're a good person, and a good friend. We're all lucky to have you."  
  
Laura turned her head to kiss his hand. "I'm lucky to have you. I love you, Remus."  
  
"I love you."  
  
When James awoke the next morning, Lily was still cuddled close to him. She was absently playing with his sleeve, her eyes unfocused. James watched her for a moment before she realized he was awake. He noted the dark circles under her eyes, and sighed.  
  
"Did you sleep at all?"  
  
Lily looked up at him in surprise. "A bit," she replied.  
  
"Lil, you need to rest," James said. "I don't know how much longer you can go on without sleep."  
  
Lily shook her head. "I can't sleep, James. Every time I close my eyes, I see my father's face right after the curse hit him. Without anything to distract me, I think of my mother lying completely still, and I know that she'll never move again. When it's quiet, I can hear Petunia shrieking that everything was my fault." Tears gathered in her eyes. "Don't make me sleep. Don't make me relive it again."  
  
"But the dreamless sleep potion . . ."  
  
"It can only do so much."  
  
James sighed, and ran his hand through his hair. "I don't want to make you hurt anymore, Lil."  
  
"You could never hurt me."  
  
James smiled sadly. "Tell me how I can help you."  
  
"Hold me. Hold me tightly, James, and don't let me go."  
  
James complied, pulling her close. She clung to him, almost as if afraid that he would disappear if she released him. James murmured something to her. She couldn't really comprehend his words, but the sound of his voice had a calming affect. She felt herself relax in his embrace.  
  
Neither of them was sure how long they stayed like that; however, they were eventually aware of the sounds of someone moving about the flat. James looked down at Lily, who still had her face buried in his chest.  
  
"Do you want to go say good morning to your roommates?"  
  
"Not yet," she said in a muffled voice. She looked up at him. "Can't we please stay here a little longer?"  
  
"We'll stay as long as you want."  
  
It was nearly noon by the time James and Lily made their way out of Lily's bedroom. James insisted upon showering, but Lily refused. She put on a pair of faded jeans and a t-shirt, and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. Dana and Olivia looked at her in surprise when she made her way into the living room. Lily was always so meticulous about her appearance; the other girls had always said that she was the best-dressed of the Gryffindors. Seeing her like this was an instant appraisal of her state of mind. It was as if she was crying out for help without saying a word. Dana took one look at her, and pulled her close.  
  
"How is she?" Olivia asked James in an undertone.  
  
"She'll make it," James replied. He ran his hand through his hair. "Have you heard from Sirius?"  
  
"Not yet," she said. "When we left last night, he said he'd be over sometime today."  
  
James nodded, and ran his hand over his face.  
  
"Hey," Olivia said, touching his arm. "Are you all right?"  
  
James shook his head, and gave her a sad smile. "How can I be anything but all right? I have to be all right for her."  
  
Olivia looked at him for a moment. "You're a good man, James."  
  
"No, I'm not," he replied. "I just love her. That's all."  
  
A series of cracks filled the air as Sirius, Remus, and Laura Apparated into the girls' flat. Sirius immediately crossed to James, and clapped his hand down on his shoulder.  
  
"How are you holding up, mate?" he asked.  
  
James shrugged. "All right, I suppose."  
  
Sirius looked into his eyes for a moment. "We'll talk later."  
  
James visibly relaxed. He knew that "later," with Sirius, he would finally be able to let down his guard. "Thanks," he said with feeling.  
  
Sirius nodded, and pulled Olivia close. Remus and Laura greeted James. After speaking with him, they crossed to Lily. Remus took her hands in his, and kissed her forehead. Although he didn't say a word, his kindness and concern were almost her undoing; she struggled to blink back her tears. Once he had stepped back, Laura leaned down to pull her into a tight embrace. Lily clung to her, trying to regain her composure. Remus moved back to where James stood with Sirius and Olivia.  
  
"How's she doing?" he asked.  
  
James shrugged again. "I don't know how long it'll be before she collapses from sheer exhaustion."  
  
"She didn't sleep last night?" Remus frowned. "Dana said she gave her a sleeping potion."  
  
"Apparently it wasn't strong enough."  
  
"I'll ask her about it," Remus said, his frown deepening. "I can't believe she managed to fight off a sleeping potion."  
  
"She's terrified to sleep," James said. "She said she relives everything that happened when she closes her eyes. She won't let herself fall asleep for fear that her nightmares will be worse than the reality."  
  
Olivia shuddered. "I don't know how she can stand it."  
  
"Neither do I," James murmured. "Neither do I."  
  
A crack sliced through the air, and everyone jumped. When they looked up, Peter had Apparated into the living room, his face ashen. He stepped over to James, Sirius, Remus, and Olivia, and attempted to smile.  
  
"How are you guys?" he asked.  
  
"Holding up," James replied. "How are you?"  
  
Peter shrugged. "This is rough."  
  
"Yeah, it is," Sirius agreed, giving Peter an understanding look. "Having a family who's involved makes it harder."  
  
Peter looked at Sirius with relief. He should have known that Sirius would understand the thoughts that were running through his head. "I feel so guilty," he confessed.  
  
"Don't," James said quickly. "You had nothing to do with what happened. You were there with the rest of us, fighting against the Death Eaters and helping the victims. You're not guiltier than I am."  
  
"Still," Peter said, "I feel like I should have done more. Maybe I should have tried harder to convince my dad that he's on the wrong side." He shrugged. "Maybe if I had managed to do that, things would have been different."  
  
"Don't think like that," Sirius said quickly. "We were just kids when all this started, Peter. We barely knew right from wrong ourselves. How were we supposed to tell our parents what to do? And even if you had convinced him that Voldemort is evil, there would have been another Death Eater to take his place. Besides, we're doing all that we can to fix our parents' mistakes just by joining the Order. For every evil deed that they commit, we can do something to make it right again. It's like creating a balance in the cosmos."  
  
"For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction," Remus muttered. "It applies here as much as it does in science."  
  
"I guess you're right," Peter said quietly. "Where's Lily? I want to say hello to her."  
  
"She's over with Laura and Dana," James said, pointing toward the couch. "I'm sure she'll be glad that you came."  
  
Peter smiled sadly. "I don't know if anything will make her glad right now."  
  
"No, that's true," James admitted. "But I'm sure it will help her to know that you're here."  
  
Peter nodded, and made his way across the room to greet Lily. She looked up at him with tear-filled eyes. Without saying a word, he bent down to hug her. She clung to him for a moment, drawing comfort from his embrace.  
  
Despite all that Sirius and Remus had said, Peter still felt partial responsibility for the events of the past day. True, he had had nothing to do with it. In fact, he had been at work when Remus had reached him with the frantic message to Apparate to Lily's parents' house immediately. It was his father's association with the Death Eaters that made him feel such guilt.  
  
How could Sirius be content with just fighting with the Order? How could he not feel the responsibility that came with having a family member who was in league with the Dark Lord? And, really, how much did the Order do to protect its members? Lily was a member. That hadn't helped her family in the least. Wasn't there any way to avoid the guilt, and the possible death and devastation? If being an Order member didn't protect you, what would?  
  
"Thank you so much for coming, Peter," Lily said softly.  
  
Peter drew back, and took her hands. "If there's anything I can do for you, Lil, you'll let me know, right?"  
  
"You know I will," Lily replied. "Right now, it's enough that you're here."  
  
Peter gave her a sad smile. "I just wish I was here for a better reason."  
  
"So do I," Lily whispered.  
  
The day was slow torture for James. The eight of them stayed at the girls' flat for the entire day. Everyone's attention was focused on Lily. She did seem stronger now that she was surrounded by her friends, which convinced James that it was worth it to stay in the flat.  
  
As far as he was concerned, Lily's improved state of mind was the only benefit to the day. He didn't want to be inside, he wanted to be out doing something. He wanted to search for those responsible for what had happened to Lily and her family, and to make them pay.  
  
"Hey."  
  
James looked up at the sound of Sirius' voice. "Hey."  
  
"Do you want to talk?"  
  
James ran his hand through his hair, and nodded. "We can't leave, though. I need to be here for Lily."  
  
"Yeah, I know. Let's just go into the kitchen."  
  
James glanced around the room. Lily was curled up on the couch, with her head resting on Dana's shoulder. Olivia and Laura were sitting together in a corner with Remus and Peter, talking in hushed tones. James nodded, and stood. They wouldn't be missed.  
  
"All right," Sirius said as soon as the kitchen door closed behind them. "Talk."  
  
James sighed. "This is killing me, Sirius."  
  
"Seeing Lily hurt like this?" Sirius asked, leaning back against the counter.  
  
"Yeah," James replied. "But that's not the only thing."  
  
"What else is there?"  
  
"Everything that happened that night!" He began pacing, his movements betraying his agitation. "Sirius, I fought Voldemort."  
  
Sirius' eyes widened, the only sign of his surprise. His Auror training was working to help him hide his emotions. "Does anyone else know?"  
  
"Dumbledore does, since he took over the battle when he arrived. I told my dad and Moody when they questioned me. I don't know if they told anyone else."  
  
Sirius nodded. "What happened before we got there, James?"  
  
James drew a deep breath. "There were dementors . . . they were the first to arrive. Lily and I drove them off, so they were the least of our concerns. Then the Death Eaters started appearing everywhere. We tried to fight them, but there were so many of them, and just the two of us . . . That's when I called you."  
  
Sirius nodded again. "Thank God for those mirrors."  
  
"I don't think that was quite what Remus had in mind when he gave them to us. But, it was the only way I could think of to get in touch with you – and we definitely needed help. I knew if I used my mirror, you'd be at the other end."  
  
"What happened after you called me?" Sirius asked gently.  
  
James shuddered. "Voldemort appeared. You know, I'd heard so much about him, but that was the first time I actually saw him. It's true, Sirius, he really does have red eyes. He's so tall, and he's so powerful . . . I couldn't believe that it was him, but neither could I deny it. Lily got into it with him – she just started screaming at him, standing up to him defiantly – she was amazing. But he didn't think so. He threw a Cruciatus at her, and she started screaming again, but this time in pain. I don't – I don't know what made me do it, but I tried to disarm him. I just – I wanted him to stop torturing Lily, and that was the only way I could think of to do it."  
  
"Did it work?"  
  
"Well, it didn't disarm him, but it distracted him. He left Lily alone, and started trying to curse me. For a moment, it was like I lost sight of what was going on. It was like I was in fifth year again, hexing Snape in the halls between classes. I tried to dodge and block his curses. I threw any curse I could think of at him." A smile flitted across his face. "By the way, thanks for letting me borrow that book of curses so much at Hogwarts. I think I ran through its entire index before Dumbledore showed up."  
  
Sirius grinned. "I'm proud that it was used for the exact opposite of the intentions my parents had when they gave it to me."  
  
"Yeah, they'd probably have a fit. Well, I guess it proves that they were right – I am a bad influence on you."  
  
"James, you have been the best possible influence on me," Sirius replied, the grin sliding off his face. "You and your parents were the ones who taught me what it means to really be part of a family." He paused, and his eyes narrowed. "Voldemort has already taken my biological brother away from me. If he had taken you or Lily, I honestly don't know what I would have done. Thank God you were able to hold your own against him."  
  
"I didn't think I would make it, Sirius," James admitted. "Once Lily recovered enough, she started fighting with me. That was when it really hit me – I was fighting Voldemort. He's killed so many people, and destroyed so many lives, but there were Lily and I, fighting him. There was so much chaos that I barely noticed the Order members arriving. Dumbledore came in and took over the battle with Voldemort. Then the Aurors got there, and Voldemort disappeared. Just like that, he was gone."  
  
Sirius shook his head. "That's amazing," he said in awe.  
  
"I don't really think it is," James replied. "I did what I had to do to save my life, and to protect Lily. You would have done the same."  
  
"Yeah," Sirius said softly. "Yeah, I guess I would have."  
  
"Do you have any more information on the attack?"  
  
"Nothing you don't already know," Sirius stated. "But Liv and I will probably find out more tomorrow when we see Moody and Longbottom for class."  
  
"Oh, man," James groaned. "Tomorrow's Monday, isn't it?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I'd better owl Fudge, and tell him I won't be at work."  
  
"How's he going to take that?" Sirius grinned.  
  
"He's going to have to deal with it," James said harshly. "I'm not leaving Lily. Not now. Now when she's like this."  
  
"You're doing really great with her, James."  
  
"I'm trying," he sighed. "I just don't know what I'm supposed to do to help her."  
  
"I don't think there's any one way to deal with someone who's grieving like this. Everyone reacts differently. You just have to be there for her, and to react to her moods as best you can – basically, to keep doing what you've been doing."  
  
"It's hard, Sirius. It's hard to see her in such pain and to feel so helpless. It's hard to just keep giving so much support all the time." He sank down into a chair, and buried his face in his hands. "I'm a horrible person. This shouldn't be so hard for me. I'm her fiancé, for crying out loud! If I can't handle this . . ."  
  
Sirius sat down across from him at the table. "Did you like Lily's parents?"  
  
"Of course. They were great."  
  
"Will you miss them?"  
  
"Yeah, I guess I will."  
  
"You're grieving, too. That's what's making it so hard on you." He sighed. "Do you love Lily?"  
  
"Of course! That's a stupid question."  
  
"I know, but bear with me. Right, so you love her. Do you want to see her in pain?"  
  
"I already said that I don't."  
  
"Exactly. So you're doing everything to make her feel better, and completely neglecting your own emotions. You need to worry about yourself a little bit, too. If you don't deal with this, you won't be able to help her. You know that Remus, Peter, and I are always here for you, mate. You can come to us whenever you need to talk. We'll always listen."  
  
James smiled. "I know. You guys are incredible friends. I'd be lost without you."  
  
"You're going to make it, James," Sirius replied. He grinned. "If you can fight Voldemort without dying, you can do anything."  
  
The next morning found James waking in Lily's bed again. She was still asleep. Complete exhaustion had driven her to bed shortly after eight the night before. James lifted himself from the bed carefully, trying not to wake her. She desperately needed the sleep. Knowing that the pipes in the girls' flat were rather loud, James decided to wait until Lily was awake to shower. He left the bedroom, and made his way into the kitchen.  
  
Dana and Olivia looked at him with solemn expressions as he entered the kitchen. He felt his stomach clench.  
  
"What happened?" he asked.  
  
Dana slid a page of newspaper at him. "We have a subscription to a Muggle paper," she explained. "Lily and I wanted it. This was in today's edition."  
  
James picked up the page, and found himself staring at the obituaries. As he scanned the names, Evans jumped out at him.  
  
"Lily's parents are listed?" he asked, sinking into a chair.  
  
"Complete with calling hours and the time of the funeral," Olivia spat. "Lily's cow of a sister made all the arrangements without even asking her opinion. She's going to go through the roof when she finds out."  
  
James read the article with a frown. "At least she had the decency to list Lily as family member."  
  
"Probably because it would look suspicious if she didn't," Dana said bitterly. "You know how Petunia is about public opinion."  
  
"Yeah, she's rather concerned about what people think," James replied. He put the paper down on the table. "Do you guys think Lily's ready to go to the funeral?"  
  
"She has to be by Wednesday morning," Olivia replied.  
  
"Well, we'll be there for her, right?"  
  
"I should be able to get the morning off," Dana said.  
  
"I'll do my best," Olivia said. "I think Moody will be a titch more reasonable than he usually is because Lily's an Order member."  
  
"I hope so," James replied. "This will be hard enough for her with all of us there. Without us, I think it would be impossible."  
  
"You're awfully dressed up. Where are you going this morning?"  
  
Peter turned to his father with a hateful look. "To a funeral." He looked back in the mirror to straighten his tie.  
  
Mr. Pettigrew looked at him sharply. "You're dressed as a Muggle."  
  
"So I am," Peter said carelessly.  
  
"What Muggle do you know that died?"  
  
"My friend's parents," Peter replied. "They were both killed by Death Eaters." He gave his father a cold glare. "I don't care that you aren't an active Death Eater. In my mind, you're as responsible as the people who spoke the curses. We both know that you'd have far more to do with those people if Mum would let you."  
  
"Yes, I would," Mr. Pettigrew said, completely unconcerned by his son's disapproval of his actions. "And if I had my way, you would be involved with them as well. But as it is . . . You've chosen the wrong side, Peter. I don't know how many times I'll have to say it, or how many deaths you'll have to see before you realize it. I'm disappointed in your choice, of course, but I know that you will pay for it. All decisions and actions have consequences, Peter. I just hope that you're ready to deal with the consequences you will face."  
  
Peter picked up his wand, and slid it into his pocket. "I hope the same for you."  
  
Mr. Pettigrew shook his head. "You'll never realize your mistakes, will you?"  
  
"Will you realize yours?" Peter asked. "I have to go. I'm going to be late."  
  
Without waiting for a reply, Peter Disapparated, praying that he wouldn't splinch himself. He was fairly confident with his Apparation abilities, but his high emotions made him nervous. To his immense relief, he arrived at his friends' flat in one piece.  
  
Sirius and Remus were running around the flat, trying to dress themselves for the funeral. Peter smiled at them, remembering all the times the four boys had run around the dormitory in exactly the same fashion, trying to make it to class on time.  
  
"Running a bit behind?" he asked.  
  
"Don't be smug just because you're early," Sirius replied with a grin. "I can't find my shoes, and Moony's cufflinks are MIA."  
  
"This is ridiculous," Remus sighed. He picked up his wand from the coffee table. "Accio cufflinks!"  
  
The cufflinks flew across the room. Remus caught them with one hand, and put them down on the table with his wand. Sirius grinned, and used his own wand to summon his shoes.  
  
"Well, at least I'm not late," Peter said. "I was worried about it."  
  
"We really want to be on time for this one," Remus said. With his cufflinks in place, he shrugged into his jacket. "James was here earlier to get his suit. He said that Lily's a mess."  
  
"I'm sure she is," Peter replied. "I can't even imagine what's she's going through right now. If something happened to my mum, I don't know what I'd do with myself."  
  
He didn't make any reference to his father. Both Sirius and Remus noticed that fact, but neither pointed it out. Remus frowned slightly.  
  
"Didn't you say that your mother was ill? Is she doing better?"  
  
"A bit," Peter replied. "She's still pretty weak." He smiled slightly. "You know, my dad was just starting to get better, so I thought I might be able to move in with you guys, and now my mum's sick. It's like I can't win with them."  
  
"It's not their fault that they got sick," Sirius said.  
  
"I know," Peter sighed. His eyes narrowed. "But I'll tell you right now, I place blame on my father for what happened to Lily's parents. She's a sweet girl, and she doesn't deserve this. You would think that as an Order member . . ."  
  
"What?" Sirius asked. "You'd think that she'd be above stuff like this?"  
  
"Well, yeah," Peter confessed. "I mean, the point of being in the Order is that we're on the right side, isn't it? Doesn't it seem like that should guarantee us some sort of protection? Doesn't it seem like we should be safer than the average person?"  
  
"Not really," Remus frowned. "We're still as vulnerable as we always were. We just have better defenses behind us now, that's all."  
  
"In fact, we may be even bigger targets than we once were," Sirius mused. "Once Voldemort finds out that we're in the Order, I'm sure he'll be even more determined to bring us down."  
  
"How could he find that out?" Peter asked, his eyes growing wide.  
  
Sirius shrugged. "Spies. Information leaks. Observant Death Eaters who see us at battles. There's loads of ways he could know what's going on. In fact, that's part of why he's been so successful so far – he's always a step ahead of the Order and the Ministry. Trying to get the upper hand is part of what Olivia and I will do as Aurors."  
  
Peter shivered. "I guess I never realized how exposed we are," he murmured.  
  
"It's a risk we all agreed to take," Remus replied easily. "We knew what we were getting into, right?"  
  
Peter nodded, but in his heart he knew he was lying. No, perhaps he hadn't really realized what he was getting into. Perhaps if he had known, things would have been different . . . Or not. Could he really have abandoned his friends like that?  
  
"Well, we'd better go," Remus said, glancing at his watch. "We have to be at the church in fifteen minutes."  
  
The three young wizards left their conversation behind to Apparate to the funeral home for the first part of the funeral. Their long, sad day was only beginning.  
  
James and Lily were the first to arrive at the funeral home. Even Petunia and Vernon were absent. They had attended the two nights of visitation, which had been torturous. The hardest part for Lily had been leaving at the end of the night. She hated to leave her parents, even if she knew that their souls had left their bodies. Once she arrived at home, Dana's increasingly stronger sleeping potions were the only thing that could make her close her eyes. Even after taking the potions, she awoke every few hours, crying. James woke with her, and held her until the tears stopped. He gave her another draught of potion, and held her until she fell asleep. After two such nights, they were both exhausted. James wondered how Lily would ever make it through this day.  
  
They spent time kneeling in front of the caskets, praying for Lily's parents' souls. Despite a lifetime of Catholicism, James wondered if the prayers were necessary. He knew that the Evanses had been good people. Surely, they were in heaven. Even so, he prayed with Lily, knowing in his heart that the majority of his prayers were for her. He prayed that she would have the strength to endure this day.  
  
Mourners began to arrive, and James led Lily to their places in the receiving line. Petunia and Vernon came in, and stood silently next to Lily and James. Neither sister acknowledged the other's presence. James wanted to make them talk to one another, but knew it wouldn't do anyone any good.  
  
Their friends came in, and greeted Lily with sad smiles and warm embraces. Lily clung to each of them, drawing strength from these wonderful people she was lucky enough to call her friends. She knew that they would always support her. They would always be there when she needed them. They would never let her down.  
  
After twenty minutes, Lily turned to James. "I really can't do this."  
  
"Do you want to sit down?" he asked.  
  
She nodded dumbly, and he led her to a chair. She was still near Petunia, and it was still apparent that she was family, but she wasn't the center of attention anymore. James sat down next to her, and took her hand.  
  
A man she had never seen before entered the room. He made his way to Petunia, and took her hand in greeting. After speaking with Vernon, he turned to Lily.  
  
"Hello," he said with a sad smile. "I worked with Paul. We've been in the same department for the past fifteen years now, I guess. I really can't believe this happened. I had never even heard of carbon monoxide until I read the obituary in the paper. I'm going to get one of those detectors for my house, I can tell you that. I want my family to be safe." He paused, and looked at Lily closely. "How do you know Paul and Brenna?"  
  
Lily looked at him blankly. She couldn't even comprehend the question, let alone formulate an answer. "I – I . . . I'm not sure."  
  
"She's their daughter," James said quickly. "Lily Evans."  
  
"Oh, my," the man replied, his eyes widening. "Lily, I am so sorry. Your father talked about you all the time. He always called you his little angel." He looked at James. "And you are . . .?"  
  
"James Potter," James replied, reaching up to shake his hand. "I'm Lily's fiancé."  
  
"Oh, yes, Paul did mention that Lily was engaged. He spoke very highly of you." He smiled sadly again. "Lily, if there's anything I can do for you, please, let me know."  
  
"Thank you," Lily replied automatically.  
  
The man nodded, and bent down to kiss her cheek before walking off. Even after he was gone, Lily stared straight ahead. James held her hand tightly, willing her not to go into the state of shock she had been in the night of the attack. He didn't know if he could handle that again.  
  
James' fears were unfounded. The rest of the funeral proceeded without incident. Lily clung to him throughout the entire ceremony, and cried silent tears. People that James had never seen before offered their sympathy, which seemed to give Lily some comfort. At least she knew that she was not alone in her grief.  
  
The hardest part of all was the burial. Lily insisted upon staying to watch her parents' coffins being lowered into the ground. She clutched James' arm, her eyes never leaving the caskets that held her parents' bodies as they were placed into the deep holes. Remus, Sirius, Peter, Dana, Olivia, and Laura watched her from a slight distance.  
  
Once the first coffin had reached the bottom of its grave, Remus stepped forward. He picked up a clump of dirt from the side of the grave, and pressed it into Lily's hand. She looked at him for a moment, and a beam of understanding passed between them. She had to be the first to drop dirt on top of her father's coffin.  
  
Taking James' hand, she walked to the edge of the grave, and broke the clump of dirt into smaller pieces, letting them fall on top of the casket. James held her hand tightly, trying to assess her mental state.  
  
"I'm all right," she said softly to his unasked question. "I just – I have to do the same for my mum."  
  
"And you will," James replied.  
  
Again, Remus was there to give her the dirt that she threw down on her mother's coffin. She watched as the dirt crumbled in her hand, and fell to scatter across the top of the casket. She sucked in her breath quickly, trying to hold back the tears. James held her hand tightly, and ran his free hand up and down her arm. Remus stood a little behind them, giving them the space to grieve.  
  
When they finally walked away from the gravesites, James turned to Remus. "Why did you do that?"  
  
"We always do that in my family," Remus said with a slight shrug. "If Petunia had stayed, I would have given her dirt to do the same."  
  
James nodded silently. It was a tragically beautiful tradition – one he hoped he would never have to be a part of.  
  
"Lil, do you want to go out for dinner tonight?"  
  
Lily looked over at James, who was sitting next to her on the couch. "Not really," she replied. "I'd rather just stay in."  
  
"Do you want me to make you something to eat?"  
  
"No, I can get it myself."  
  
"Well, we don't have to go out for dinner. We can go out shopping, or walking in the park, or we could even go over to my place."  
  
"No, I want to stay here."  
  
James frowned. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm sure." She gave him a matching frown. "Look, James, if I'm so terribly boring, you can go home. Or you could go out with your friends. You don't have to stay here with me."  
  
"You know I want to be with you."  
  
"No, you don't!" she exclaimed in exasperation. "You don't want to be here! You want to be out somewhere doing something, and I've already told you that I want to stay in, so we obviously have a conflict of interests! So, you go out, and I'll stay here. That way we'll both be happy!"  
  
James wanted to snap back at her, but he took a calming breath, remembering Dana's and Sirius' words about being whatever Lily needed. He should have known that she'd react this way. She always did anymore. "Lil, if you want to stay in, we can stay in. I don't have to go out to have fun."  
  
"Do whatever you want, James."  
  
"Lil, please, I just . . ."  
  
"You just what?"  
  
"I don't know," he sighed, running his hand through his hair.  
  
It was true. He didn't know what to do with her anymore.  
  
A month had passed since the day Lily's parents were buried. During that month, life had slowly returned to normal. James had returned to work, and returned to living in his own flat. He was sure that no matter how much they liked him, and appreciated all he did for Lily, Olivia and Dana were glad to be back to having "just the girls" in their place.  
  
Even though life was going on around her, Lily could not shake herself from the depression of losing her entire family at once. She had not yet returned to work, taking her editor's promise of "all the time she needed" quite literally. She no longer worked on wedding plans. She no longer wanted to go out. She had lost interest in everything she once loved. It was as if she was completely drawing away from the life she had built for herself. She was becoming a different person.  
  
James tried to be patient. He reminded himself of all that she had lost, and tried to put himself in her shoes. He told himself that he would not be doing much better in her position. He visited her every day, and tried to convince her to visit him. She always refused. Lily was very willing to see others in her own home, but never wanted to leave.  
  
James was worried about her. Aside from being worried, he was more than a little annoyed with her. She didn't want to help herself, and she no longer seemed to want to accept anyone else's help. She was shutting him out, she snapped at him all the time, and he was more than a little fearful that she didn't even want to marry him anymore. He didn't mention his concerns to his friends, knowing that they would tell him he was being ridiculous. He hoped that he was, but he feared that he wasn't.  
  
He visited her each day after work, always suggesting something they could do together. Each suggestion was met with refusal.  
  
Not for the first time since the attack, he didn't know how to help her. If she really didn't love him anymore . . . But, no, she had to. She just had to. He just didn't know how to make her better. Feeling helpless was the thing that finally sent him over the edge. He had reached his breaking point. He couldn't deal with her anymore. He had to do something. He had to bring his Lily back, or face the pain of losing her forever. He had worked so hard to win her love. He couldn't risk losing it now.  
  
He put his plan into motion on a Friday. He was determined to take Lily out of her house, if only for an evening. He wanted to remind her of who she was, and of the life they had been planning together. In order to do that, he needed help.  
  
James wanted to create a romantic evening that he could share with Lily. He made arrangements with Sirius and Remus to have the flat to himself. Sirius instantly agreed to stay with Olivia for the night, and Remus planned to go to Laura's. James and Laura both took a half day off work, so that she could help him set everything up.  
  
"What, you don't want us to help?" Sirius asked that morning as James and Laura discussed their plans.  
  
"Like either of you could get a half day," James teased.  
  
Sirius scowled. "Moody is a slave driver."  
  
"Yeah, the last person who asked for an afternoon off from class only got a laugh," Remus said bitterly.  
  
"Exactly," James replied. "Besides, Laura knows how to cook, and she's far better at creating a romantic atmosphere than either of you."  
  
"Whoa, now," Remus laughed. "What would you know about Laura's ability to create a romantic atmosphere?"  
  
James grinned, and shrugged. "She's a girl. All girls are good at decorating."  
  
"First of all, stop talking about me like I'm not here!" Laura laughed. "Second, don't stereotype, James, or I won't help you!"  
  
"You will never hear another stereotype come out of my mouth," James replied. "Will you still help?"  
  
"I'll meet you here at noon," she promised.  
  
By six, everything was ready. Under Laura's instruction, James had made a four-course dinner. He had set the table with enough cutlery to scare anyone in their right mind, as well as drippy candles and a vase holding a single rose. He had placed roses all around the dining room, and had lit what felt like a thousand candles to illuminate the flat.  
  
"Excellent," Laura grinned. "James, you've done wonderfully. If this doesn't remind Lily of the life she's trying to run from, nothing will."  
  
"I could never have done it without you," James replied. "Thank you so much, Laura. You're a lifesaver."  
  
She grinned. "You owe me a favor."  
  
"I know. You name it, and it's yours."  
  
"I'll call it in another time." She glanced at her watch. "Well, Remus should be done in about fifteen minutes, so I'm heading home. Good luck!"  
  
"Thanks," James grinned. "I'll see you later."  
  
"Good night!"  
  
With Laura gone, James hurried to change into his dress robes. She was right; Remus, Dana, Sirius, and Olivia would be done with their classes very soon. He wanted to have Lily out of her flat before her roommates got home. He Disapparated with a pop.  
  
Lily looked up in surprise when James appeared in her living room. She was curled up on the sofa, wishing that she and Dana had talked Olivia into getting a television for their flat. Then again, it probably wouldn't work with all the magic in the place.  
  
"Hey," James grinned. He crossed the room, and kissed her. "How are you?"  
  
"All right," she replied. "You look awfully nice. What's the occasion?"  
  
"We're going out," James grinned. He took her hand to pull her to her feet. "Come on, you have to get ready."  
  
"What do you mean, 'we're going out?'"  
  
"Well, maybe out is a bit much, but we're going to my place. You need to get out of here, Lil. This place is slowly sucking the life out of you."  
  
"What do you mean?" Lily asked, her green eyes sparkling dangerously.  
  
"I mean, you haven't left in ages!" James exclaimed. "You need to get out, Lil! You need to experience life again!"  
  
"I'm experiencing quite enough right here!" she said, her voice rising.  
  
"No, you aren't," James said stubbornly. "You haven't been to work in a month. I could understand that, but you haven't been anywhere else either! You haven't gone shopping, or out for lunch, or even to my place! You've been letting your life pass you by, and it's time to stop. It's time to get yourself off the couch, and to let yourself live again!"  
  
"I like being here!" Lily yelled. "And I have gone out – I've been to church with you every Sunday, and you know that!"  
  
"Yes, but you won't even go out for brunch afterward like we used to do!" James replied, hearing his own voice edge toward a shout. "Lily, you're destroying yourself, and I'm not about to sit back and watch you do that!"  
  
"I am not destroying myself! I'm staying safe, and I'm keeping you safe!"  
  
"Staying at home doesn't keep you safe! My God, Lil, your parents died at home! And if you think that you'll keep me safe by staying away from me, let me be the first to tell you that you're totally wrong. I'm in as much danger on my own as you are on your own. We don't lead safe lives, Lil. Face that now, and move on. Come home with me for dinner. You need to get out of here."  
  
A defiant look crossed her face. "I'm not going anywhere."  
  
"Fine!" James exploded. "I'm trying to help you, Lil, but you're really making it impossible! You're completely shutting me out, you won't talk to me like you used to, you won't even think about our wedding anymore . . . I'm starting to feel like you're throwing away our future to dwell on your past! I've dealt with it for as long as I can, Lily. You can stay here and wallow in your misery for as long as you want, but I can't do this anymore. When you're ready to live your life again, you come and find me."  
  
"James, wait," she said, feeling tears threatening to fall.  
  
"No," he said coldly. "Until you're ready, you can stay here alone."  
  
He Disapparated, leaving Lily alone on her couch with tears sliding down her cheeks. She covered her face with her hands.  
  
"What have I done?" she whispered. "What have I done?"  
  
A/N 2: I know, evil cliffhanger. Sorry about that! Now, I just wanted to give some credit to my family for this chapter . . . Remus' family funeral traditions come from my own. My mother's family always stays at the gravesite to watch the casket being lowered, and the closest relative tosses in the first of the dirt. Also, the part when Lily didn't know how she was related to her parents is taken directly from a reaction my mom had when someone asked her how she was related to the family at her dad's funeral. Grief makes people think, say, and do crazy things . . . James and Lily are slowly learning that. Well, thanks again for reading and reviewing! I'll update as soon as I can! 


	10. Talking It Out

A/N: Thanks for sticking with me through all the depression! Things will be happier now . . . But, be forewarned, it's only for a little while. Remember, our characters are still at war. Thank you for reading and reviewing! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Talking It Out

James felt the anger pounding through his veins as he stumbled out of the building that housed girls' flat, rather glad that Lily didn't know he had only managed to Apparate to a point just outside her door. He was far too emotionally charged to try to go farther. He paused to lean up against the main door of the building, half wanting to go back inside and apologize for his outburst. But his pride wouldn't let him. All that he had said was true. Now it was up to Lily to deal with it.

Lily.

Just the thought of her, alone and in tears, was enough to kill James. How could he leave her like that? But, then again, how could he go back up there? She needed to realize that the way she was acting was wrong. Then again. . . He shook his head. He knew that he couldn't be alone at the moment. He was beyond the point of rationalizing his decisions. He needed help. He reached into his pocket, and fumbled for his mirror.

"Sirius Black!"

"James?" Sirius' face appeared with a confused frown. Judging by the noise and number of people behind him, he was still at the Auror Academy. "Where are you? Why aren't you with Lily?"

"Can you meet me at the Leaky Cauldron?" James asked miserably. "I'll explain everything there."

"Sure," Sirius replied. "I'll see you in five minutes."

Fifteen minutes later, James and Sirius were seated in the Leaky Cauldron with drinks in front of them. James had poured out his tale of misery, and was watching his best friend expectantly.

Sirius sighed, and ran his hands over his face. "It's been a long time coming, mate."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You've been trying too hard to be the perfect boyfriend ever since the attack," Sirius explained. "You've done brilliantly, but it's been killing you every step of the way. How many times in the last month did you sit up late with Remus and I talking about everything? And let me tell you, we've both noticed that you've gotten progressively more fed up with Lily. It was only a matter of time before you exploded."

"That doesn't excuse what I did," James said sadly, guilty feelings overwhelming him. "She's mourning the loss of her parents. She needs me to be there for her, not to attack her." He dropped his head down into his hands. "I'm a horrible person."

"I feel like we've had this conversation before," Sirius said, a hint of a grin floating across his face.

"I know," James sighed. "I'm sorry, Padfoot. I keep dumping all this on you, and I know that you have plenty of your own stuff to worry about right now."

"If I didn't care about your problems, I'd be a pretty sorry best friend," Sirius replied. "And, yeah, I've got stuff going on, but nothing like this. My girlfriend is fine. Her current dilemma is the same as yours: dealing with someone who's completely seeped in depression. Believe me, the girls have been suffering right along with you."

"I should go talk to Liv and Dana," James said suddenly. "Maybe the three of us could commiserate."

"Bad plan," Sirius grinned. "Right now, they're probably getting an earful about what an awful boyfriend you are."

James shook his head. Maybe he _was_ an awful boyfriend. "Padfoot, I'm going to tell you something, but please don't tell me I'm being ridiculous."

"I won't – unless you _are_ being ridiculous."

James shook his head. "Of everything that's happened, the hardest thing for me to take is that Lily won't even consider wedding plans anymore. When we first got engaged, she and the girls were practically out of control about it. Remember when I told you that you were going to have to take me drinking to deal with them?"

Sirius grinned. "Yeah, I remember."

"Well, anymore, she doesn't want anything to do with planning the wedding. She hasn't even mentioned it in ages, and I didn't want to bring it up for fear of upsetting her. But it's been a long time now, and she still hasn't said a word about it . . . It's almost like she doesn't want it to happen." He paused, and looked down. "Sirius, I'm afraid that she doesn't want to marry me anymore." He looked up again, his eyes betraying his fears. "I'm terrified that she doesn't love me anymore."

"Prongs, listen –"

"No, really, think about it," James said. "How would you feel if Olivia suddenly didn't want to talk about your relationship? If she suddenly stopped wanting to visit you? If she suddenly didn't talk to you like she used to? What if everything changed?" He looked away. "I've loved her since I was a little kid, Sirius. I don't know if I can live without her."

"You're never going to have to find out if you can or not," Sirius said firmly. "Lily loves you, James. She's been with you ever since seventh year, and, if we're going to be honest, I think her heart was yours long before that. She agreed to marry you."

"Engagements can be broken."

"Not yours. You two have been through too much together to end it now."

"Sirius, I pretty much told her that I didn't want anything to do with her unless she left her flat."

"Good! She needs to hear that! She does need to get out of there. She's becoming a hermit, and I think tough love is what she needs to snap her back into life."

"But she doesn't need to have me screaming it at her." He reached up to clutch his hair. "Lily is the single most important thing in my life, and I've managed to drive her away with one fit of anger!"

"You haven't driven her away. Not that easily. You and Lily have a far stronger relationship that that. One fight isn't going to break you up." Sirius put down his drink, and looked directly into James' eyes. "You're a powerful wizard, James. You're one of the most powerfully magical people I know. So is Lily. But no matter how strong you and Lily are individually, you're infinitely stronger when you're together. You two belong together, and nothing is going to change that."

After finishing their drinks, and the shot of firewhiskey that Sirius insisted they take, they returned to their own flat. The candles that James had lit before his departure were quickly burning themselves out. He sighed, and waved his wand to extinguish them.

"Wow," Sirius muttered as he looked around. "You and Laura did a really great job. This is an impressive setup."

"Yeah, and it would have been even better if Lily could have been here to see it," James said bitterly.

"Well, it's making me fall in love with you," Sirius grinned. "Take me, James, I'm yours! I'll never love another man for as long as I live!"

"Oh, shut it," James said, a reluctant smile spreading across his face.

"Ha, I got you to smile," Sirius grinned. "Look, mate, if you're that miserable, why don't you just go apologize to her? You two can make up, and everything will be fine again."

"No," James said stubbornly. "If she wants to make this right, she can come and find me. You're right, and I was right. She needs to get out of that flat. She can't spend the rest of her life there. If I mean anything to her, she can come here to fix our relationship." He paused, and looked at his friend. "Besides, you're hardly the one to preach about a quick-fix apology. Exactly how long did it take for you and Liv to start talking again after that whole 'I love you' episode?"

"I really hate you right now," Sirius sighed. He picked up the Floor powder from its spot on the mantle.

James looked at him curiously. "Going somewhere?"

"No," Sirius replied. "I'm calling for reinforcements."

With a grin, he threw some of the powder into the fireplace. "Laura Bond!" he yelled into the flames.

Laura's head appeared in the fire. "Sirius? What's up?"

"Hey, Laura. Is Remus there?"

"Right here." Remus' head joined Laura's in the fireplace. "What's wrong?"

"Moony, you'd better get home," Sirius sighed. "Prongs needs us."

"Give me five minutes."

"See you then."

Less than five minutes later, Remus Apparated into the sitting room. He gave both of his friends a look.

"This had better be good," he said. "I'll have you know that Laura was going to . . ." His voice died in his throat as he looked at James. "What happened?"

"Do you want the long version or the short?"

Dana Apparated into the girls' flat with a faint pop, already planning what she would wear to go out for dinner with Aidan. She was muttering to herself as she walked through the sitting room on her way to her bedroom. The sound of a muffled sob stopped her. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw Lily sitting on the couch, hugging her knees to her chest as she tried to stop crying.

"Lils!" she exclaimed in surprise. "What are you doing here? Look at you! You're a mess. What's wrong?"

Lily took a gulp of air. "James Potter is a bloody bastard, and I don't care if I never see him again!"

In one moment, Dana's evening plans changed. Without even thinking, she crossed the room to sit down next to Lily.

"Tell me what happened."

Before Lily could even get out the first sentence, a crack sounded in the room. Olivia appeared, her eyes sparkling.

"What did you do to James?"

"What do you mean?" Lily exclaimed indignantly. "_He's_ the one who's acting like a psycho-path!"

"He just used his mirror to call Sirius home from the Academy. Judging by the fact that he was highly upset, in addition to the fact that you're still here instead of at the guys' place, I'm guessing that the two of you had a fight. What was it about?"

"She was just about to tell me," Dana said. "Have a seat."

Olivia sat down, and looked at Lily expectantly. Lily glared at her.

"Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you already believe that it's entirely my fault. You have to listen to what happened before you go jumping to conclusions."

"Fine," Olivia sighed. "Just tell us what happened."

"Well," Lily began, her eyes already sparkling in anger, "about an hour ago, James showed up here. He didn't call or anything first, which is extremely rude. He just showed up in his dress robes, and announced that we were going 'out.'"

"Let me stop you for two seconds," Olivia said. "Since when has James – or anyone else, for that matter – needed an invitation to come over? We agreed when we moved in that we had an open-door policy with visitors."

"Liv, you are truly killing my story," Lily said, her face a cross between anger, annoyance, and amusement.

"Well, hopefully, I'm killing your anger," Olivia replied with a cheeky grin.

Lily gave her a death look, and turned back to Dana. "Anyway, James appeared out of nowhere, without calling first," she gave Olivia a pointed look, "and said that we had to go out. Then he qualified it, and said that we were going to his place for dinner. It was just like the first time he asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him all over again! He didn't even _ask_ – he just _told_ me what was going to happen, and expected me to jump up and do whatever he wanted! Erg!" She gave a little shriek of annoyance, balling her hands up into fists, and squeezing her eyes closed. "I _hate_ it when he does that! Would it kill him to just ask?"

"So you refused to go with him because he didn't ask politely?" Dana asked with a confused frown.

"No," Lily replied. "I didn't go because I don't want to go out. And when it comes right down to it, James should know that."

"Because you haven't been out in ages?" Olivia asked with just a touch of irritation.

Lily looked at her for a moment. "You don't need to get snippy with me."

"I'm telling the truth! Be honest, Lils: When was the last time you left this flat to go somewhere other than church?"

"Liv, that's not even fair," Lily protested, her eyes betraying the pain that was still raw in her soul. "Do you have any idea what I've been going through?" She turned to Dana. "Tell her, Dana. You understand."

Dana shook her head. "I can't pretend to understand, Lils. I still have my mum. You lost way more than I did. And everyone grieves differently. I wanted to keep myself busy twenty-four hours a day, just so that I wouldn't have to think about what had happened. You're different."

Lily sighed, and pressed her hand against her forehead. "I can't concentrate on anything other than what happened. James knows that. He's been here with me every step of the way."

"Maybe you need to concentrate on something else for awhile," Dana said carefully, praying that Lily's temper wouldn't flare again. "That's what James was trying to do by getting you out of here. He wanted to take your mind away from what happened, and to let you be Lily again. You're right; he's been here to support you every step of the way. He knows what you're going through. He's just trying to help you."

"And you haven't exactly made it easy for him," Olivia said bluntly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lily cried. "He knows that I've appreciated all that he's done for me! And now he shows up with this idea that he knows what's best for me, and I should just jump at his words?"

"I'm just saying, Lil, that I agree with Dana. James was trying to help you! Do you realize how much time he spent planning this dinner for you? He had all of us in on it! He and Laura both took half days today so they could get everything ready for you. According to the plan, she helped him cook dinner and decorate the flat. Sirius and Remus were going to clear out tonight so that you and James could have some privacy." She sighed. "He wanted to give you a special night, Lils, and you took that from him."

"I don't want a special night," Lily whispered, her eyes filling with tears.

"What do you want, then?"

She shrugged, her eyes filling with tears. "I don't know. I just want this to be over, and everything to be like it was before."

"You can't have that, Lils," Dana sighed, taking Lily's hands in hers. "The past is over, and none of us can get it back. You have to look at the future, and make it better than the past."

"James said something like that," she said softly.

"What did he say?" Olivia asked.

"He said that I was abandoning our future to live in my past, or something like that." She looked at her friends with wide, teary eyes. "Is that what I'm doing? Am I driving James away?"

"I think you're slowly killing him," Olivia said gently. "He's been so patient with you, Lils, and he's been so supportive, but he's also been neglecting himself."

"What do you mean by that? I've seen him every day. He's fine. He's back at work, and he hasn't been ill."

"He's fine physically, but emotionally, he's falling apart."

"No, he isn't. We talk every day. I'd know if he was falling apart."

"Would you?" Olivia asked. "What do you talk about when you see him?"

Lily frowned slightly. What _did_ they talk about?

"Lil?" Dana asked. "Are you all right?"

Lily shook her head slowly. "I don't know what we talk about. I guess the things we talk about don't mean anything, do they? Not if I can't remember them, they don't. I mean, he talks – he always asks how I am, what I've done during the day, and he tells me about his job, and about the guys, but . . . We don't talk about anything important anymore." Her tears were dangerously close to falling. "That isn't good, is it?" she whispered.

Olivia reached out to touch Lily's cheek. "He's been completely focused on you, Lil. He wanted to help you, and he thought that taking you out of here would be good for you. And, to be completely honest, I agree. You do need to get away from here."

Lily shook her head, and a tear made its way down her cheek. "I'm afraid to leave," she whispered. She looked down at her hands and forearms, realizing for the first time how pale they were. It looked as though she hadn't been out in the sunshine in ages – which, she reminded herself, was the truth.

"Oh, Lils," Dana sighed. "You can't spend the rest of your life in here just because something might happen if you leave."

"She's right," Olivia said. "You have two choices. You can go out and experience life again, or you can stay in here and die a slow death." She paused. "Look, Lil. We're all going to die. That's a fact of life. Whether we die in a month at the hand of a Death Eater, two years from now at the hand of Voldemort, or a hundred years from now at the hand of God and old age is completely irrelevant. The question is this: What are you going to do with the time you have left? Are you going to waste it in the dark walls of this flat, or are you going to use it to help others, your fiancé included? The choice is yours."

Lily looked helplessly from Olivia to Dana. Dana smiled sadly.

"She's right, Lils. We're all going to die. And, if you think about it, it's not so scary anymore. You and I both know that when we do die, we'll be reunited with our parents again. We're not alone, Lily, and we never will be. There are people who love us on both sides of the grave."

Another tear escaped from Lily's rapidly blinking eyes. "I guess I should go apologize to James."

"You're willing to go over there?" Olivia asked.

Lily drew a deep breath. "Yes."

"Do you want us to go with you?"

"No, I need to do this alone."

Olivia gave her a grin. "If Sirius and Remus are there, send them over here."

Lily managed to smile through her tears. "You just want to see your boyfriend."

"That's what you're about to do, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Well, get going already!"

Lily smiled wider, and stood up, preparing to Apparate. She reached up to wipe at her red, puffy eyes. "Do I look awful?"

"Do you think James will care?" Dana grinned.

Lily smiled again, and Disapparated.

Lily stood outside James' flat for a full ten minutes, debating whether or not to go inside. She knew that she needed to apologize to him. She had hurt him deeply over the past month. She had just been so consumed with her own grief that she hadn't been able to think of anything else. And that was exactly what she needed to tell him. She knew that much. She just didn't know how to do it.

Summoning all her Gryffindor courage, Lily knocked on the door.

"Honestly, James, I'm sure you guys will be fine."

"You don't know that for sure."

"Sure I do," Remus replied easily. "Look and Laura and I. We've been to hell and back over the course of our relationship. We've dealt with monsters and demons of all shapes and sizes. If Laura and I can overcome everything we've been through, I'm sure that you and Lily can handle this."

James shook his head, and ran his hand through his hair. "Remus, I don't think you've ever done anything to Laura quite like what I did to Lily. I basically told her to stop mourning her dead parents."

"No, that's not what you said," Sirius corrected. "You told her that she needed to get out of her flat, which is true. You never said that she needed to stop mourning. You just said that she needed to concentrate on her life, rather than her parents' deaths."

"That's a fine line, Sirius," James sighed. "I'm not sure she's ready to see the difference."

"James, you had to find a way to get through to her," Sirius replied. "She hasn't been herself in ages."

"I know that," James said mournfully. "She's barely even been a shadow of the Lily I fell in love with."

"You wanted to do something to help her," Remus said softly. "She needed a push to get past everything, and you gave her that push."

"You took a risk," Sirius said. "But aren't you the one who always said that the fun was in the risk?"

"Yeah, I guess so," James replied with a faint smile. "I just like risks better when they work out to my benefit."

A soft knock sounded on the door, and all three boys jumped. No one ever knocked. All their friends and family members just Apparated or Flooed into the flat. They each grabbed their wands, ready to defend themselves. Sirius inched toward the door.

"Who's there?" he called.

"It's me, Sirius."

Sirius opened the door with an incredulous smile. "Little Flower, what on earth are you doing? You know that you can just Apparate in."

Lily shrugged. "Muggle habit," she muttered.

"Well, come in," Sirius said, opening the door wider.

"Thanks."

"Lily," James breathed.

She had left her flat! She had gone outside again! She looked beautiful. Her eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, and her hair was a mess, but she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"Hello, James," she said a bit awkwardly.

Sirius and Remus exchanged a look.

"I think I'll go visit Olivia," Sirius said quickly.

"Yeah, I'll go with you," Remus added.

Before James or Lily had time to say a word, both Remus and Sirius had Disapparated. James and Lily looked at one another for a moment; the awkward tension was heavy between them.

Lily knew that she had to be the one to break the silence that had fallen with Sirius' and Remus' departure. She was the one who had shown up on James' doorstep. She was the one who needed to make amends. Oh, _why_ hadn't she rehearsed an apology before she left home? She took a deep breath before beginning.

"James – we need to talk."

"Yeah, I think we do," James said softly, running his hand through his hair. "Do you want to sit down?"

"All right."

Lily took a seat on the couch, half expecting James to sit down next to her. She felt a titch of disappointment when he sat down in a chair that faced her. He looked at her expectantly. Now was the time. She had to make her case.

"I talked to Dana and Olivia about what happened," she said slowly. "And they helped me realize that I needed to be here with you."

"Oh?"

What kind of a response was that? Feeling slightly irritated, she took another calming breath. "They told me about all you had done to prepare a special evening for me. From what they said, you worked really hard so that we could have a nice time, and I destroyed it all with my stubbornness."

"They said that?"

"Yes," she said. "They basically said the same thing you had – that I needed to get out. They said that I've been stuck inside for far too long, and that I need to start living my life again. And they said that you were just trying to help me."

"So, you'll believe this when Dana and Olivia say it, but not when I do?"

Lily gritted her teeth. He certainly wasn't making this easy on her. "That's not what I meant."

"What did you mean, then? I'm a little confused."

"Could you try being a little less stupid about this?" Lily finally exploded. "I'm trying to explain how I feel, and to apologize, but your moron routine isn't helping!"

"What are you talking about, Lily? I'm confused here!"

"James Potter, you are not confused! I know you're far brighter than you deserve to be, and I know that you know how to use that superior intelligence for good! So, put your brain cells to use, and start listening to me! I'm trying to fix this, and you're acting like you've never heard English before!"

To her surprise, James grinned. "There's my girl."

"What?" she snapped.

"Lil, do you realize that in the past month, you've become a shadow of yourself? You were going back to being the girl that I remember from fifth year at Hogwarts, who wouldn't talk to me, except to insult me. Finally, you're coming back!"

"Back in fifth year?" Lily asked, now feeling the confused look on her own face.

"Yeah, fifth year. And, really, every year before that. Don't you remember how much you hated me?"

"Hate is a strong word, James," Lily said with a slight smile.

In that one moment, James felt elated. Lily had smiled. For the first time since her parents had died, she had smiled. He forced himself to remember what they were talking about, and to continue.

"Well, you certainly didn't like me much. You can't deny that, can you?"

Lily smiled helplessly. James' heart soared to see that smile again.

"Under normal circumstances, I would have given up on you back then. But I couldn't give up. I was too enamored. I couldn't get over you then because I was a love-struck little boy, but now . . . God, Lil, I love you so much, but it just got to be too much for me. I had to do something." He looked down. "I planned this, Lily, to help both of us. I wanted to get you out, yes, and to remind you that you do have a life that you love. But, I also wanted to make sure that we still had something between us."

Lily looked at him in surprise. "What do you mean? Of course we do! If we didn't, why would you come to visit me everyday? Why would you waste your time sitting with me if there was nothing left between us?"

"Like I just said, I love you, Lily. I love you as much now as I did the first time I said it – maybe even more. But, with the way you've been acting, I wasn't sure that you still loved me."

Her face betrayed her horror. "How can you even think that?" she whispered.

"When was the last time we talked – really talked?"

She flinched, and a pensive look came over her face. "Dana and Liv asked the same thing – well, almost the same thing. They asked what we talked about when you came to visit." She looked down. When she raised her eyes again to meet his, they held a look of shame and guilt. "I don't know."

"Exactly! We never talk anymore, and you haven't said a word about the wedding in so long . . . I was scared, Lil. I didn't know what to do to help you, and you seemed like you had completely lost interest in our plans – in _me_."

Lily jumped out of her seat, and fell to her knees in from of James. She grabbed his face in her hands. "James Potter, I never want to hear you say such a thing again. I love you, all right? _I love you_! You are the most important person in the world to me, the person I want to marry and spend the rest of my life with, and I will _never_ lose interest in you!" Tears filled her eyes. "I'm sorry, James. I'm so sorry that I've hurt you so much. I was in so much pain that I didn't even think about what you might be going through."

"I'm fine," James said with a sad smile. "Sirius and Remus have been great. Without them, I don't think I would have made it." He put his hands over hers on his cheeks. "I cared about your parents, too, Lil, and it hurt me to see what happened to them. But it hurt me even more to see you suffering. And when you wouldn't even think about the future . . . I was terrified. Aside from our future, I didn't know what you might do to yourself. You were in a bad place, Lil, and I didn't know how to get you out of it."

Tears began to escape. "Oh, James, I had no idea," she whispered. "Why didn't you tell me? We could have talked about it – I could have fixed it . . ."

"Could you?" James asked softly. "Lil, I asked you to leave your flat for one evening, and you when completely insane. How could you have possibly handled me pouring my heart out to you?" He shook his head. "You had more than enough to deal with on your own. You didn't need my problems on top of it."

"Oh, God, James," she moaned, the tears now cascading down her cheeks. "When will you stop being so damn selfless? When will you stop being so wonderful?"

James grinned. "You're wonderful, too."

"No, I'm not," she cried. "You've been torn apart inside, and I never even noticed! What kind of fiancée does that make me?"

James moved his hand to touch her face, brushing away her tears. "A fiancée who's mourning her parents," he whispered. "But maybe – maybe you're right. Maybe I should have told you. I'm sorry, too, Lil, for holding back so much. I was so worried about you, that I never even considered telling you what was going on with me." He sighed. "Here I am, accusing you of holding back from me, and I was doing the same thing."

She shook her head. "There you go again, being wonderful."

James smiled, and touched the tip of her nose. "I'm sorry about the whole yanking you out of your comfort zone thing, too."

"No, don't apologize for that," she said quickly. "If you hadn't, I'd still be curled up on my sofa, watching everyone else have lives."

"Are you ready to live again?"

She smiled slightly. "Liv told me something that I think really helped. I told her what I told you before – that I was afraid to leave home. I felt safe there."

James nodded. "What did she say?"

"She said that we're all going to die. We don't know when or how, but none of us lives forever. The questions of death aren't worth our time. The important thing is what we do with our lives." She took his hand in hers. "I love you, James. I want to have one hundred years with you, but if it turns out that we only have five, I want to spend them loving you. Whatever we do with our time, I want to make sure that we do it together."

"I want the same thing," James whispered, leaning in to kiss her.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, and she grabbed his shoulders, trying to pull him closer. As their kiss deepened, James fell out of his chair. Lily giggled as they landed in a heap on the floor.

"Well, this isn't exactly comfortable."

James grinned, and kissed her lightly. "We're together, though, right?"

"James – I'm so sorry."

"Would you stop apologizing? You're forgiven!"

Lily smiled. "So are you."

"Good." He glanced around at the remnants of the romantic evening he had planned. "You know, I had planned for us to spend tonight together. If you want, we still can."

Lily's eyes lit up. "All right – but only if we can talk about wedding plans."

James grinned, and kissed her again. "We can do whatever you want." Another kiss. "I'm so glad to have you back, Lil."

"I'm glad to be back. And I'm glad that you were the one to bring me back." She smiled against his lips. "I love you."

"And I love _you_."


	11. Suspicion

A/N: I am so sorry for the length of time between updates! Please believe that I haven't forgotten this story, or all of you! I was insanely busy with grading finals and closing the school year, and I honestly didn't have time to write anything. But, school is finally over for the summer! I hope to be able to update every two or three days from now on, so I won't make you wait forever again. I hope this chapter is worth the wait! Thank you again for reading and reviewing!

I don't own the Harry Potter universe.

Suspicion

Lily took a deep breath, and opened the door of her bedroom. She had already showered, and was dressed for work. It was time to go back. It was time to live her life again.

Dana and Olivia were both awake; Lily could hear them chatting about something or another as she walked the short distance to the kitchen. She pushed the door open, and entered the room.

"Good morning."

The conversation the girls had been having instantly stopped. Both Olivia and Dana looked at Lily in shocked silence. She giggled.

"Are you all right?"

"Are you?" Olivia asked bluntly.

"Yes," Lily replied. "I'm much, much better."

"I take it you and James had a good evening?"

"Yeah, we did."

"What time did you get home?" Dana asked. "I never even heard you come in. I thought for sure you'd want to tell us what happened!"

Lily shrugged. "You were both asleep, and I didn't want to wake you. I figured my stories would keep until morning." She paused, thinking of the events of the previous night. "Where did Sirius and Remus end up going after they left their flat?"

"Well, they were here for awhile," Olivia said. "We all had bets on whether you and James could work everything out, and on who would commit murder first."

"You did not!"

"Oh, we did," Dana laughed. "But, don't worry; it was all in good fun."

Lily shook her head, and sat down at the table with them. "They aren't still here, are they?"

"Remus left for Laura's around ten," Dana replied. "Sirius and Olivia went out for a drink around the same time."

"Yeah, we went out to the Three Broomsticks," Olivia replied. "But after that . . ." She paused, and smiled mischievously. "Sirius actually went back home. We figured that you and James would be done fighting by then. Didn't you notice him come in?"

Lily flushed. "I didn't know he was there. He must have Apparated straight into his bedroom."

"That _must_ be it," Olivia replied, giving Dana a knowing look.

Dana giggled, and Lily's face turned a brighter shade of red. Olivia laughed.

"I don't care what you and James did last night. The fact that you're back to normal is enough for me."

"I don't think I'm completely back to normal yet," Lily admitted. "But I have to start somewhere, right? And I'm never going to get back to normal if I don't try. You girls and James were right. I have a wonderful life, and I need to start living it again." She took a deep breath. "I'm never going to get my parents back – not in this lifetime, at least. So, I need to get used to living without them." She paused, and took another breath to change her focus. "And the best way to do that is to get back to the way things were. So, I'm going to back to the paper today. When we get home tonight, we're going to have a lot of work to do."

"What kind of work?" Olivia asked.

Lily grinned. "Wedding plans."

* * *

After having breakfast with her roommates, Lily Apparated into the lobby of the Daily Prophet. She smiled to herself as she walked up to her department offices. She had missed work. She hadn't realized how much until the moment she was back.

"Lily!" Elaine, Lily's editor, ran out of her office, and grabbed Lily into a hug. "Oh, my goodness, have we missed you around here! Are you all right?"

Lily smiled, returning the hug. "I'm getting better," she replied. "I had to get back. I've missed working."

"That's good to hear," Elaine replied. "Here, come into my office for a minute. I need to give you your assignments."

A concerned look crossed Lily's face. "Who's been doing my work while I've been gone?" She hated the idea that she had created twice as much work for one of her coworkers.

"We've all done some, so no one was stuck with all of it. Don't worry about it for a minute," Elaine replied. "We've gotten by without you. But, there are some things that only you could do. And the first one that I really need to have you do is another interview with Ludo Bagman."

"Another one?" Lily echoed, raising her eyebrows.

"Yes, well, the Wasps are winning, so Perry thinks that an interview with Bagman is just the thing to drive up sales – you know, all the fair weather fans will be out to buy the paper just because he's in it. And, it would appear that you and Ludo seem to be building a lovely relationship, so I want to make sure that you handle this."

"Wait a minute," Lily laughed. "I've only done one interview with Ludo. I hardly think that qualifies as a 'relationship.'"

"Well, Ludo disagrees. When I owled him to set up an interview, he responded that he would only grant interviews to you."

Lily's mouth fell open. As the shock wore off, she giggled. "James and Liv are going to have a fit!"

"Yes, well, as long as you get the interview done, I'll be happy. When do you want me to schedule it?"

"Anytime, really," Lily replied, knowing that she didn't have anything scheduled for the next week.

"The sooner the better," Elaine muttered. "We need to run it before the Wasps start losing."

"With Ludo Bagman as their Beater, how could they?" Lily asked with a charming smile.

"Oh, now I see why Ludo likes you," Elaine laughed. "You really are quite good at that, you know."

"I try."

Elaine shook her head. "Well, whatever works for you. Now, let's talk about the other things I need you to do."

* * *

Lily was the last one home that evening. Because she had been away from her job for so long, she had more catch up work to do than she had imagined. By the time she finally did leave, she knew that she would have to come in early the next day just to get everything ready for her afternoon interview with Ludo Bagman.

"How was your first day back?" Dana asked as Lily walked through the living room.

"It made me feel appreciated," Lily replied with a smile. "My editor was thrilled to see me, and had an assignment for me from the editor-in-chief." She smiled again. "I didn't realize how much I missed it."

"Good," Olivia said. "You should miss your work when you're away from it. It means you enjoy what you do. And, since you spend a huge portion of your waking hours at work, you definitely need to enjoy it."

Lily grinned. "You're never going to believe what my first assignment is! I think _you'd_ definitely enjoy it!"

"What is it?" Olivia asked.

"I'm interviewing Ludo Bagman!"

"Again?" Olivia gasped.

"Yes, again. I'm meeting him tomorrow afternoon."

"Lily! You are the luckiest girl alive! Can I come with you? Please?"

Lily laughed. "You know I can't let you do that! Do you want another autographed picture? I can probably handle that much."

"No, I still have the last one," Olivia sighed.

Lily laughed again. "I still don't understand this obsession you have with Ludo Bagman. What happened to you being a diehard Cannons fan? Ludo doesn't play for the Cannons!"

"And you think that matters?" Olivia gasped. "Ludo Bagman is one of the most amazing Beaters to ever play the game! Honestly, I picked the wrong field. What was I thinking with this Auror thing? I should have been a reporter like you! Then _I'd_ be the one interviewing Ludo Bagman! At least I understand his importance to the sports world!"

"Well, Ludo Bagman now qualifies as work in my world, sports or not, and we're not focusing on work anymore," Lily replied. "We need to focus on the wedding."

"Oh, good," Dana grinned. "I've been looking forward to this all day."

"I want to hear more about Ludo!"

"I said no!" Lily laughed. She reached into her bag for a piece of parchment and quill. She held her wand poised to charm the quill.

"What's that?" Dana asked.

"My interviewing quill," Lily replied. "It'll work well for making wedding plans."

"Is that the quill you used to interview Ludo?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Yes, of course it is. Now, it's going to record everything we say, just so you know. It will only stop if one of us tells it to – and you have to actually use the word stop." She tapped the quill with her wand. "There, now it's ready to use."

"Really?" Dana asked. "Can it keep up with us?"

"Yeah," Olivia said, watching the quill zoom across the parchment. "Look at it go!"

"Would you quit wasting my parchment?" Lily laughed.

"All right, let's get down to business," Dana laughed. "Are you going to stay with your original wedding date?"

Lily frowned. "I'm not sure that we can. Do you think we can be ready by December?"

"That's only three months," Olivia said practically. "But do you want to push it back?"

"Not really," Lily said, her cheeks turning slightly pink. "But I think we might have to. I'll talk to James."

"Okay," Dana said. "What about venues?"

"Well, James and I had talked about getting married in the same church as my parents," Lily said, sadness creeping into her eyes. "But we were planning a fully Muggle wedding. I'm not sure if he still wants to do that, with the way everything has changed." She looked away from her friends. The idea of _not_ having a Muggle wedding was almost unthinkable. It had been her dream for so long, but if James didn't want it . . .

"Stop," Olivia said suddenly.

The quill froze in the air. The other girls looked at her questioningly.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked.

"We can't do this without James. It's his wedding, too. And, really, we should have Sirius, Remus, and Peter here. They're as involved as Dana and I." She was about to add Petunia's name, but stopped. Somehow, she was sure that Lily's sister was no longer a part of this wedding.

"She's right," Dana agreed. "Shall we get them?"

Lily nodded, and went to the fireplace. She tossed in the Floo powder, and shouted James' name. Within seconds, his face appeared. They spoke for a moment, and then, several minutes later, James, Sirius, and Remus were climbing out of the fireplace. Coughing, they dusted the soot from their robes.

"The next time I suggest that we just Floo anywhere, please hit me," James choked.

"Done," Sirius and Remus said at the same time, both coughing.

"Where's Peter?" Dana asked.

"We needed to Floo over to his place," James said. "Believe it or not, he _isn't_ over at our flat every moment."

"We tried to get in touch with him, but he's still at work," Sirius added. "His mother said he'd be home in about two hours. We told him to try to contact us here."

"How's he doing?" Olivia asked. "He didn't seem to be in a good place the last time I saw him."

Sirius shrugged. "Peter's got a lot of issues to worry about. He's dealing with his parents, with his job, and with being an adult. Peter's more of a follower, but with how sick his parents have been he's in a situation where he needs to be more of a leader."

"I almost think it's better for him to be away from us," Remus said. "I mean, if he was living with us, we would probably just take charge, like we always did at Hogwarts. This way, he's forced to do things without our suggestion."

"I guess it's for the best," James said noncommittally. "Anyway, what pressing issues do you girls want to discuss with us?"

"The wedding," Lily said promptly. "Or should we wait for Peter?"

"He can come to the next meeting," Olivia replied.

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "The next meeting?" He looked to James for support.

James shrugged. "What are you talking about?"

"We need to get together at least once a week to make sure that we're all on the same page," Olivia explained.

"Er – all right," James said.

Lily looked around at all of them. "I need another bridesmaid."

"What?" James asked.

"Well, you have Sirius, Remus, and Peter, but I just have Olivia and Dana now," she said, her face contorting slightly. "I think that Petunia officially backed out of the wedding when she said that I was as dead to her as our parents." Shadows of pain lingered in her eyes. "We need to be surrounded by happiness and love at our wedding. We don't need my ungrateful sister there."

Olivia and Dana exchanged a glance. Olivia felt exceedingly relieved that she hadn't mentioned Petunia earlier. At least this way, Lily had brought her up herself, and James was here to help her deal with any issues.

"Who would you like to ask?" James asked, watching Lily's reactions closely.

"Laura," Lily said at once. "I always felt bad about not including her to begin with."

"She'll be thrilled," Remus smiled.

"Good," Lily said. "I'll go see her tomorrow." She glanced at the notes the quill had taken before the men had arrived. "James – we need to pick a date for our wedding."

"What happened to our old date?"

"It's a little soon."

"When do you want to have it, then? How much time do we need to get ready?"

"I don't know . . . Maybe sometime in February?"

"That's fine," James said. "Why don't we see what dates the church has available?"

"Oh, that's a good idea. Do you still want to have the wedding in my parents' church?"

"Absolutely." James reached across to touch her hand. "I can't think of anything more fitting."

Lily smiled, her eyes suddenly bright. She almost held her breath as she asked the next question, fearful of what James' answer would be. "And do you still want to have a Muggle wedding?"

James looked at her sharply, realizing her fears in an instant. "Lil, listen to me. From what you girls have told us, little girls spend all their time dreaming about their weddings. Little boys don't do that. I've never had any expectations for my wedding, and I still don't. The most important thing is that you're going to be my bride. I'm not saying that I don't care about the plans or the wedding, but all that I really want from this day is for you to have all your dreams come true. And if you've always wanted a Muggle wedding, then we'll have a Muggle wedding."

Sirius and Remus exchanged a grin. Not for nothing had they always teased James about his phrasing, word choices, and elaborate speeches. He had always known the perfect way to express his point. And he had completely won the girls over with his words. Dana and Olivia looked ready to melt at his speech, while Lily blinked back tears.

"Do you really mean it?"

"I really do."

She threw her arms around him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Lily pulled away, laughing through her tears. "You're amazing."

James grinned. "Well, you may want to hold on the high praise. I have a favor to ask of you in return."

"Just name it."

"I told my parents we'd go to church with them on Sunday. After that, they want to take us to brunch to discuss the wedding."

Lily laughed again. "I think I can handle that one."

"Good," James said, looking rather relieved.

"Did you honestly think I'd say no?" Lily asked incredulously. "You know how much I love your parents!"

James smiled. Yes, after the way she had been for the past month, he had been concerned that she would say no. But tonight, more than anything, was convincing him that his Lily was finally coming back.

* * *

Lily arrived at work earlier than usual the next morning. Elaine was already there, of course, but none of the others in her department had managed to make it in ahead of her. She smiled her good morning to the editor, and disappeared into her office, intending to spend her morning preparing for her interview with Ludo Bagman.

She had no sooner sat down at her desk than a memo whizzed in. She frowned at the sight of the purple ink as it landed on her desk. Purple ink indicated a high priority. She picked up the sheet of parchment, and unfolded it.

_"Welcome back Lily! We have so much to talk about. I have some information that you'll find most interesting. Come to my office ASAP! – Minnie" _

Lily's frown deepened. She stood again, slid the parchment into her pocket, and left for Minnie's office. She wanted to see her friend, as the memo instructed, as soon as possible.

Minnie had obviously expected her memo to have that affect; she was waiting in the department lobby when Lily walked in. She grinned at the sight of her friend.

"I knew you'd come up straight away."

"How did you know I was here this early?" Lily smiled.

"I saw you Apparate in. I tried to get your attention, but you didn't hear me."

"I'm sorry. I was mentally composing interview questions."

Minnie nodded. "You're interviewing Ludo Bagman today, right?"

"How did you know that?"

"I read the interview schedule," she said, waving her hand as if to shrug off the question. "But that's not the important part. Just be glad that I _did_ find out. We need to talk before you go on this interview."

"Uh-oh," Lily said a bit nervously. "This doesn't sound good."

"It's not," Minnie said grimly. "Come on. Let's go into my office."

Lily nodded, and followed her friend to her office. Minnie ushered Lily in, and shut the door behind them. They took seats on opposite sides of Minnie's desk. Minnie shuffled some papers, and picked up a folder.

"How much do you know about Ludo Bagman?"

"He's a great Quidditch player," Lily replied promptly. "He's one of the greatest Beaters England's ever seen. He started playing in school, and hasn't looked back since. I can pretty much give you any information on his career that you could possibly ask for. On the more personal side, he's not married, and doesn't have children." She paused, and tapped her fingertips against her chin. "He's not sure what he wants to do when he retires from sports, but he's thinking of going to work for the Ministry. If that happens, I think James may explode from sheer excitement."

Minnie smiled. "I think I can fill in some gaps for you."

"What do you mean?" Lily frowned.

"It would appear that our friend Ludo is a bit more interested in this Ministry career than he let on to you."

"I'm not following you."

"Remember how we talked about looking into Death Eater activities?"

"Of course. But what do the Death Eaters have to do with Ludo Bagman?"

"Unfortunately, more than we'd like to think." She handed the folder to Lily. "Read this over before you go on your interview."

Lily frowned again, and opened the folder. Her frown deepened as she read its contents.

"Minnie, this isn't exactly incriminating," Lily said. "I don't quite understand what was so pivotal about this information. I mean, all this says is that Ludo has been in contact with a Ministry worker. It's probably about getting a job."

"Keep reading," Minnie said, waving her hand.

Lily nodded, and returned to reading over the documents in her hands. She gasped, and looked up with wide eyes. Minnie nodded.

"Who's Augustus Rookwood?"

"He's the Ministry worker Bagman's been in contact with. He's also a supposed Death Eater. I managed to find out that he works for the Ministry, but I haven't been able to uncover what department he's in."

Lily paused, and looked down again. When she looked up, the frown had returned. "So we're assuming that Ludo is a Death Eater based on a connection to a _supposed_ Death Eater? One who works for the Ministry?"

"In my opinion, Rookwood is a confirmed Death Eater."

"But, Minnie, what if –"

"Stop," Minnie said quickly, cutting her off. "I know the connection is shaky. That's why I haven't said anything about it before. But I thought that maybe you could help me strengthen it."

"What do you mean?"

"From the news that's circulating around the offices, you're Bagman's new favorite reporter. I thought that maybe you could get him to admit to something."

"Minnie, that doesn't seem fair to him."

"It's not really fair. But it's not supposed to be. We're exposing Death Eaters, not sending invitations to a tea party." She pressed her fingertips together. "We're in this to put the people who killed your family in Azkaban, Lil. If you can prove that Bagman – or Rookwood, for that matter – is a Death Eater, then I'll blow this story wide open. If you can disprove it, I'll throw this folder away."

Lily looked at her for a moment. "I hate the idea that Ludo Bagman could be a Death Eater. He doesn't seem like a bad person."

"Maybe he's not a bad person. Maybe he just made a very poor choice. Maybe the Council of Magical Law will take that into consideration. Or maybe I'm way off base, and he isn't a Death Eater at all. But, believe me, I'm not the only one who's suspicious of him. And, no matter what evidence you come up with, I'll make sure you get all the credit for it."

Lily shook her head. "He just doesn't seem like a Death Eater. I mean, it's no secret that I'm Muggle-born, and he hasn't had a problem opening up to me. But if this is true . . . If he's actually passing information to the Death Eaters . . ." She sighed. "How could he have made such a stupid decision?"

"Look, Lil, we don't have the all the answers. We don't even know for sure that he's connected to the Death Eaters. Just get whatever information you can, all right? I'm not going to do anything with this until we have a completely airtight case. The last thing in the world we want to do is to accuse a Quidditch star of being a Death Eater without enough evidence to pound every single nail into his coffin."

* * *

Lily drew a deep breath before she pushed open the door of the Three Broomsticks. After talking to Minnie, she knew that she had to try to get as much information out of Ludo as possible. She still hated what she was about to do, but she knew she had to do it. Minnie was right. If Ludo really was a Death Eater, they had to do everything in their power to send him to Azkaban. People like that didn't deserve to walk freely down the streets, going about their daily lives. They deserved to pay for their crimes.

Despite her firm resolve, she had no idea how to bring this topic up with Ludo. She had spent all her time after she had left Minnie's office trying to rework her interview questions to lead him toward a confession of his involvement with the Death Eaters, but hadn't been able to come up with anything. Every question that she could think of was far too obvious. She and Ludo had based their relationship on his ego and his love of Quidditch. Neither of those two things lent themselves well to a conversation about Death Eaters. What was she going to do?

Madam Rosmerta smiled as she watched Lily enter the bar. "Alone today, dear?"

Lily grinned. "You're going to love this. I'm meeting Ludo Bagman for another interview."

"God bless you," Madam Rosmerta's eyes lit up. She led her to a table, touching Lily's arm lightly. "Here, let me give you a prominent table by the window."

"I do have an interview to conduct," Lily laughed. "I'd rather not have throngs of people gawking at me."

"You'll manage to get your questions in somehow."

Lily laughed again as she sat down, shaking her head slightly. "You're not making my job very easy, you know."

"Well, I'll give you complimentary drinks. How's that?"

"James is going to be jealous. As I recall, he's been trying to get free drinks out of you since he was thirteen."

"I'm not the only reason he's going to feel that way. If you're interviewing Ludo Bagman, I'm sure he's already jealous."

"Fair enough."

The door opened, and Ludo Bagman came in. As usual, a crowd followed him, begging for autographs. Madam Rosmerta's eyes lit up, and she stepped away from Lily to welcome her new customers.

Ludo finally managed to make his way over to Lily, sitting down across from her with a beaming smile. She smiled back, willing away her nerves.

"How are you, Lily?" he asked, taking her hand.

"I'm fine," she smiled. "You?"

"Never better." He looked at her with a bit of concern. "I've been a bit worried about you. Elaine contacted me for this interview ages ago. She seemed a bit upset when I asked to have you do it."

Lily nodded. "I took some time off work after my parents died."

"Yes, I heard about that," Ludo replied, sorrow creeping into his eyes. "I hope you know how sorry I was to hear about it. You're a good girl, Lily. You don't deserve that kind of pain."

"Well, war is rather indiscriminate, isn't it? It affects everyone without regard for what they do or do not deserve."

Ludo shook his head. "I don't know that I'd be able to hand this as well as you are."

"Believe me, I haven't been handling it well until recently," she smiled. She pulled her parchment and quill from her bag. "Shall we begin?"

"Certainly," Ludo replied courteously.

Lily tapped her quill with her wand, and placed it against her parchment. "I'd like to begin by talking about the amazing season the Wasps are having. When was the last time you've had this type of winning streak?"

"It's been far too long," Ludo replied, his face reflecting his excitement at talking about Quidditch.

Looking at him, Lily was reminded of James and Olivia, and their love of Quidditch. Ludo was very lucky to be able to play professionally. She was sure that James and Olivia would have jumped at the chance to make this their career. She thought of Olivia's words from yesterday – that work was something that should be enjoyed.

Suddenly, it clicked. She knew how she was going to bring up his Death Eater involvement, or lack thereof. It would be rather round-about, but it would get the job done. But, first she had to get there.

"How exactly do you explain this winning streak? Is there any one thing, or any one player, you can attribute it to?"

"Well, we work together as a team," Ludo replied. "It's hardly fair for any one of us to take credit for a team effort."

Lily gave him a coy smile, knowing that she needed to boost his ego just a bit. "So you're saying that the Bludger that completely knocked the Cannons' Seeker off track in last week's match was a team effort?"

Ludo beamed. "Well, that was me. I just did what I had to do for the team."

"Ludo, please. It was an amazing play! Tell me about what was going through your head."

His blue eyes lit up as he remembered the play. "Well, I saw both Seekers racing across the pitch, and it looked like Angela was falling a bit behind. I felt this desperation, like I was completely helpless. Unfortunately, we weren't far enough ahead that we could afford to let them catch the Snitch. Then, almost like it came out of nowhere, a Bludger flew toward me. I did the only thing I could think of – I smacked it straight at the Cannons' Seeker. It hit the tail of his broom, and sent him spinning off, leaving the field open for Angela to get the Snitch." He finished with a beaming grin. "She's a remarkable Seeker, you know. I don't know when we've had anyone better. But, everyone needs a little help sometimes, and I was there to give her the boost that she needed."

Lily smiled, thinking that that would make a lovely quote for her story. "Were you injured at all in that match?"

"No, not in that one."

"Is that unusual?"

"Well, Beaters generally take a few knocks during most matches, so, yes, it was unusual for me to make it out uninjured." He smiled again. "Beaters have to have tough skulls."

"You've taken Bludgers to the head?" Lily gasped, surprised in spite of herself.

"A few. But don't worry, Lily, I haven't had any major injuries!"

Lily smiled. "You must be tougher than you're letting on."

"Quidditch is my life," he replied simply. "You do what you have to do for your passion. If that means taking a few Bludgers to the head to keep my job, then that's exactly what I'll do."

"But you can't do that forever, can you?" Lily asked, carefully steering the conversation in the direction it needed to go.

"No, I suppose I'll have to retire eventually."

"No time in the near future, I hope."

Ludo shrugged. "I like to go from season to season. I'll keep playing as long as I'm physically able."

"What are your plans when you're done with sports? Are you going to find a vacation home on some secluded island, or are you still planning to go into the Ministry?"

Ludo laughed. "I don't think a life of seclusion would suit me. No, I'm planning to keep working. You're right, I'm still thinking of going into the Ministry."

"Right. You're quite serious about it, then?"

"Yes, I am. In fact, a friend of my father's has told me that he'll help me get a position in the Ministry."

"Really?" Lily asked, raising her eyebrows. "Would you care to divulge his name?"

"Of course," Ludo replied happily. "His name is Augustus Rookwood. He works in the Department of Mysteries, so, naturally, I have no idea what he does."

Lily smiled, trying to fight down the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. "Of course. Is that the department you intend to join?"

"Oh, no," Ludo laughed. "I can't imagine myself doing something so far removed from sports. I was thinking more of the Department of Magical Games and Sports, myself."

Lily nodded, trying to phrase her next question. "How well do you know Mr. Rookwood?"

"Fairly well, I'd say. He and my dad have been close for most of my life. He's a good man, and he has plenty of connections to get me a job in the department of my choosing – at least, that's what he's told me."

"And he's willing to do this for you just because of his friendship with your father?"

"Well, he keeps talking about me 'owing him one,' but I'm assuming he means tickets to a match," Ludo replied cheerfully.

Lily's stomach twisted, but she knew she had to press on. "He hasn't asked you for anything except tickets?"

"Well, he hasn't actually asked for those yet – so far, he's just asked me for odd bits of information." He lowered his voice confidentially. "I think he's using the information to help fight You-Know-Who."

Lily forced a smile. "I hope he is."

* * *

Once she was back at the Daily Prophet offices, Lily went straight to the investigative department. She didn't even stop in her own office to tell Elaine she was back. As far as she was concerned, she was still conducting part of her interview.

"Minnie. Thank God you're still here."

"I couldn't leave without seeing you," Minnie replied, waving her wand to close her office door behind Lily. "Well? How did it go?"

Lily sat down, and reached into her bag for her rolls of parchment. "He admitted a connection with Rookwood," she replied. "Rookwood works in the Department of Mysteries, and has promised to help Ludo find a job. His condition is that Ludo 'owes him one.' Ludo thinks he means tickets to a Wasps match."

"But you don't."

"Do you?" Lily asked pointedly.

Minnie shook her head slowly. "Do you have anything else?"

"Just this," Lily said, pointing to the end of the interview.

Minnie read over the transcript, her eyes widening. "He's asked Ludo for 'odd bits of information?'"

"Yes."

"And Ludo thinks he's working _against_ You-Know-Who?"

"Yes."

Minnie leaned back in her chair, and ran her hands over her face. "This is getting more and more convoluted."

"I know."

She sat up straight again, and looked at Lily. "Do you believe him?"

"Excuse me?"

"Do you believe Ludo? Do you think Rookwood's on the up and up?"

"I don't know," Lily said slowly. "But I think that Ludo's given me all he knows. There's something about him . . ." She smiled. "He's a fantastic Quidditch player and a nice person, but sometimes I think he's a few crayons short of a box. I'm not sure that he's completely aware of everything that goes on around him." She shrugged. "Rookwood's a friend of his dad's, so he trusts him. Rookwood has promised to help him get a job at the Ministry, which is his eventual plan. Naturally, Ludo thinks he owes him one. And if he thinks that Rookwood's using whatever it is that Ludo tells him against Voldemort, why would he even hesitate to give him the information?"

Minnie flinched slightly at the sound of the name, but nodded. "So you think Bagman's being played?"

"I think it's a possibility."

"Fair enough. So, we're going to have to shelve Ludo for now."

"We're just letting this go?"

"No. I'm not entirely ready to give up on Bagman. But, now we're going to have to investigate Rookwood far more thoroughly." She picked up a quill to make notes. "This is going to take a long time, Lil. It could be ages before anything comes of it. It's just the two of us working on it, and we need to make sure that no one else suspects what we're doing. We're going to have to be very careful, and to take our time."

"That's all right," Lily replied. "As long as we get down to the truth, I'll be happy."

"Good girl," Minnie said. "Now that we know he's an Unspeakable, this is going to be even harder. They're very heavily protected. But we'll get through it, Lily. We may have to take detours here and there, but we'll make sure the guilty pay for their crimes. Even if it turns out that Bagman and Rookwood are innocent, we're going to uncover every Death Eater plot that we can."

"Good," Lily said fiercely. "I want to make sure the Death Eaters get exactly what they deserve."


	12. Plans and a Wedding

A/N: I know I said that I'd update every two or three days, but four is close! Actually, this chapter was really difficult for me to get the way I wanted it . . . and I'm still not completely happy with it. But, I hope you enjoy it! Let me know what you think. Thanks again for reading and reviewing!

I don't own Harry Potter's world.

Plans and a Wedding

Death Eater plots were the farthest thing from Lily's mind as she and James Apparated to his parents' house early on Sunday morning. They found the Potters engaged in their usual Sunday ritual of rushing to be ready to leave in time to make it to Mass. Lily, who had never witnessed Sunday morning with the Potters before, was amused by the sight. Mrs. Potter was trying to hurry her makeup application, while Mr. Potter was searching for the church offertory envelope. Hetty was running around, trying desperately to help them get ready. James grinned as he watched.

"They've been like this since I was a little boy," he informed Lily. "And I can tell you exactly what's going to happen next."

"What's that?"

"Dad's going to be ready first, but Mum's going to come downstairs and act like he's holding her up."

Lily looked at him in disbelief. "You're crazy. Your parents aren't like that!"

"No, I'm completely serious! It happens every Sunday!"

Lily laughed. "I'll believe it when I see it."

"Then keep watching."

Mr. Potter came toward them, tucking the church envelope into his jacket pocket. "Well, look who's here! I'm glad you two could make it," he said, shaking James' hand.

"I was a bit more concerned that _you_ two wouldn't make it," James grinned.

Mr. Potter smiled. "Sarcasm on a Sunday?"

James laughed. "Oh, why not?"

Mr. Potter shook his head, and kissed Lily's cheek. "How are you, sweetheart?"

"I'm much, much better, Mr. Potter," Lily smiled. She took James' arm. "James has been wonderful for me. Without him, I don't know where I'd be right now."

"Well, I'm glad he was able to help you so much. Margaret and I have been worried about you."

"I'm sorry that I worried you."

"Don't be. You're family now, Lily. Everything that affects you affects us, too."

She smiled again, suddenly feeling warm and happy. She should have realized that she would never really be alone.

Heels clacked against marble as Mrs. Potter rushed down the stairs. She was still clasping her earring, her face contorted with the pressed time.

"Harold, are you ready?" she asked. "We need to get going if we're going to get seats!"

James gave Lily a pointed look, and she stifled a giggled. Mrs. Potter looked at them, her face lighting up with a smile.

"James! Lily! You made it! Oh, I'm so glad!" She hugged both of them, kissing their cheeks. "It's wonderful to see you again."

"You, too, Mum," James grinned. He winked at Lily over his mother's shoulder. "We need to leave, don't we?"

"Oh, yes, you know how crowded that church can get. Do you have the envelope, Harold?"

"Right here," Mr. Potter said, patting his pocket. "Shall we be off, then?"

"Yes, let's go."

Lily had never been to Mass in the Potters' church before. She and James always attended a church closer to their homes. She was impressed by the church's grand appearance; for a moment, she wished they had decided to get married there. But, as she thought of getting married somewhere other than the church she had attended since birth, she knew she couldn't do it. Somehow, it just wouldn't be right.

Mrs. Potter insisted that Lily needed to meet their priest at the end of Mass, which sent them into a rather lengthy line to greet him. Lily smiled as she watched the older man chatting with his parishioners. He certainly seemed to be very well-liked.

As they waited, a very tall young man with blond hair and twinkling blue eyes walked toward them. Lily didn't think anything of it, assuming he wanted to join the line to greet the priest; she was surprised to see him stop near them.

"James?"

James looked around, his face lighting up as he recognized the speaker. "Danny!"

James immediately stepped out of line to greet his friend. Frowning slightly, Lily followed, standing a step behind him.

"It _is_ you!" the man called Danny exclaimed. He reached over to pull James into a hug.

"I can't believe it!" James exclaimed. "How have you been?"

"Good, good," Danny replied. "I can't believe I'm seeing you! Where have you been hiding, mate?"

"Me? I've been home for every holiday! Where have _you_ been?"

"Oh, here and there," Danny said. He glanced at Lily, who was still standing uncertainly behind James.

James followed his gaze, and took Lily's hand, pulling her forward. "This is my fiancée, Lily Evans. Lily, this is Danny Johnston. Danny was my best mate when I was a little boy."

"I'm pleased to meet you," Lily smiled, reaching out to shake his hand.

"And you," Danny grinned. He looked from Lily to James. "I had no idea you were getting married!"

"Well, if you came home more often, maybe you would have known," James teased.

"Have you been talking to my mother?" Danny laughed. "She always says the same sort of things!"

"Seriously, mate, where have you been?" James asked, sobering.

"Studying," Danny replied. "I only took short holidays from school, and when I _was_ home, it was just to see the family. But, it paid off – I'm going to be a doctor."

"Really?" Lily asked with interest. "What kind of medicine are you studying?"

"Cardiology," he said promptly.

"Impressive," James grinned. "But you always were the smart one when we were in school together."

"Oh, don't let him fool you," Danny grinned, looking at Lily. "James could give me a run for my money in every class."

"I'm sure he could," Lily smiled.

"And Lily always gave me a run for mine," James grinned, pride in his fiancée showing in his eyes.

"You went to school together, then?"

"Yes," Lily smiled.

Danny grinned. "And I suppose you've been in love since first year?"

"More like seventh," James laughed. "But that's a long story. However, if you're thinking of sticking around, maybe we can get together so you can hear it."

"I'll be around for a little while longer," Danny said. "I'm going to school in London, so I'm sure you'll see quite a bit of me."

"Excellent!" James exclaimed.

"Lily, come and meet Father John," Mrs. Potter said, stepping up next to them. She looked up at Danny, studying him uncertainly for a moment before recognition flashed through her eyes. "My goodness! Danny!"

"Hi, Mrs. Potter," Danny grinned.

"I can't believe it!" she cried, reaching up to hug him. "Look at you! You're taller than James now!"

"And it's about time," Danny laughed.

"I was always taller than he was when we were little," James informed Lily.

"I see," she smiled. She looked up at Danny. "And I'm sure he held it over you, too."

"Naturally," Danny replied easily. "Look, go say hello to Father John. I'm staying with my parents for now, James, so you'll be able to get in touch with me there."

"I will," James promised. "It's great to see you again, mate."

"You, too," Danny said, shaking his hand. "We'll have to get together to catch up soon. It was great to meet you, Lily."

"And you," Lily replied.

Danny winked at her, slapped his hand against James' shoulder, and disappeared into the crowd. Lily smiled, and looked up at James.

"Why didn't you –?"

"Lily, this is Father John," Mrs. Potter said, cutting off her statement.

Lily turned her smile to the priest, who was waiting to shake her hand in greeting.

* * *

Once Lily had been introduced to Father John, they set off for the restaurant James' parents had chosen for brunch. They informed Lily that it was a family tradition to go there after Mass on Sundays. This was confirmed the moment they stepped inside the restaurant; the staff knew the family by name.

"You've never mentioned Danny before," Lily commented as they took their seats.

James shrugged. "I haven't thought of him in years, to be honest."

"They were great friends," Mrs. Potter said. "You should have seen how heartbroken James was to leave him when he started school. We were rather worried he wouldn't be able to get over leaving his best friend."

"He was your best friend, but you don't want him to be part of the wedding?" Lily asked.

"We'll have to invite him, of course. But, really, I think I'm closer to Sirius, Remus, and Peter than I am to him at this point." He shrugged again. "You bond with your friends differently when you're older."

"True," Lily said slowly. "I do feel rather bad about it, though. I mean, you were both thrilled to see one another."

"Danny's a great guy," James smiled. "I wished for years that we'd be able to go to school together – like Mum said, I was crushed when we had to go to different schools."

"We were hoping the boys would be able to go to school together, too," Mr. Potter admitted. "But, unfortunately, Danny didn't qualify to go to school with you two."

Lily smiled, hating that they had to speak in code in public. "That's a shame."

"It turned out all right in the end," James smiled, giving her hand a squeeze. "He seems happy, and I know that we are. We'll invite him to the wedding. I definitely want him to be there."

"I did want to talk about the wedding," Mrs. Potter said, addressing herself to the young couple. "What plans have you made?"

"Well, we have the church and the banquet hall reserved," James said. "And you do know the style, right?"

"Strictly traditional," Mr. Potter replied, giving them a wink.

"Lily, do you have your dress yet?" Mrs. Potter asked.

"No," Lily said a bit nervously. "The girls and I keep talking about going shopping, but we haven't made it yet."

"We're going on Saturday, then," Mrs. Potter said decisively. "You don't have all that much time before the wedding, and your gown is something that you can't leave until the last minute. I'll make a reservation for us. Bring your bridesmaids, and we'll see if we can find their dresses, too."

"Mrs. Potter, you do know that there are only certain dress shops that I can go to . . ."

"Oh, yes, sweetie, don't even think about it! I know the perfect place! I was in Harold's sister's wedding, you know, and she took us to the most darling dress shop in London. Actually, it was her mother-in-law who picked it, and we all just loved it."

"My uncle was Muggle," James muttered to Lily.

She nodded slowly. Remembering all that had happened to James' family, she didn't quite know what to say.

Mrs. Potter sighed, her eyes focusing on something only she could see. "Ah, that was such a happy occasion. I never would have dreamed . . ." She trailed off, and sighed again. Then she shook her head, as if to bring herself back from some far-off place. "Well, that's all in the past now. Will Saturday work out for you?"

"I think so," Lily replied. She looked at James. "Minnie and Adam's wedding is in two weeks, right?"

"Right," James affirmed.

Lily looked back at Mrs. Potter. "I'll talk to my bridesmaids, but it should be fine."

"Perfect! I'll send you an owl with all the details!"

* * *

"Prongs! Get up, mate!"

James groaned, and struggled to open his eyes. "Why?"

"We're going shopping!"

James squinted up at Sirius. "This is a bizarre dream. That's all it is. There is no way in the world that Sirius Black would wake me up before 10 on a Saturday morning to go shopping. It just isn't possible."

Sirius laughed. "I mean it, Prongs. Moony's already in the shower, and Wormtail's on his way over."

James finally opened his eyes fully. "You really are calling out the entire crew on a Saturday morning."

"That's right, I am. This is a big occasion."

"And what, pray tell, are we going to shop for?"

"A flying motorbike."

* * *

"Olivia, get up!"

Olivia mumbled something incoherent, and turned over, burying her face in her pillow. Lily looked at Dana helplessly. Dana laughed.

"Get up, you lazy bum!" she cried. She grabbed Olivia's pillow, and yanked it out from under her. Olivia's head hit the bed with a thud.

"Ouch!" she exclaimed. "What are you trying to prove?"

"That you need to be out of bed," Dana laughed.

"It's Saturday!" Olivia moaned. She reached for her bedside clock, pulling it into her line of vision. "It's really early on Saturday! What are you two trying to do to me?"

"We have to meet James' mum in an hour!" Lily exclaimed. "Remember? Dress shopping? She made an appointment for us?"

"Oh, hell," Olivia moaned. "All right, I'm up!"

"Good," Dana smiled. "Come on, Lils. Our work here is done."

"Make sure you dress as a Muggle," Lily said as they moved toward the door. "Remember, this is a Muggle dress shop!"

"Hell," Olivia muttered again. "You and your Muggle weddings!"

Laughing, Lily and Dana walked out of Olivia's room, closing the door behind them. Olivia moaned again, and slid out of bed.

A soft crack broke through the air as Laura Apparated into the living room. She looked around, and spotted Lily and Dana coming down the hall.

"Good morning," she smiled. "I know I'm early, but I was really afraid I'd be late and hold everyone up."

"No, Liv has that honor today," Dana said cheerfully. "We just pulled her out of bed."

"Rather literally," Lily grinned. "She'll be ready in time, though. No worries."

"Even if she's not, we'll be there on time," Dana giggled. "Did Lily mention that she's driving?"

"Well, you guys got James and I the car," Lily said. "The least I can do is to drive you to an appointment for my wedding."

Laura giggled. "I think she's talking about your lead foot, sweetie."

Lily laughed, then frowned. "You may mock me now, but we'll see who's laughing when we get there on time after Liv nearly makes us late!"

Dana shook her head. "Sorry, Lils. I forgot that no one insults your driving."

"That's right," Lily grinned. "And don't you forget it!"

* * *

Thanks largely to Lily's driving skills, they arrived at the dress shop just as Mrs. Potter did. She waved to the girls as she got out of her car, and met them at the front entrance.

"Hello, hello!" she smiled. She kissed Lily's cheek. "How are all of you? I'm so glad you could make it today!"

Lily smiled. "Here, let me introduce everyone. Girls, this is James' mother. Mrs. Potter, this is Dana, Olivia, and Laura."

Mrs. Potter shook each girl's hand, smiling a greeting. She looked at Olivia and Laura for a moment as if trying to sort them out.

"Which one is dating Sirius, and which one is dating Remus?" she asked.

"I'm dating Remus," Laura said at once.

"And I'll claim Sirius," Olivia smiled.

"At least someone will," Mrs. Potter laughed. "That boy . . . sometimes I thought he would drive me to an early grave!" She laughed again. "They're all sweet boys, really – and Harold and I loved having Sirius over so much when you all were in school. It truly was like having another son."

"He always speaks very highly of you," Olivia replied. She smiled. "He says that everything he knows about families, love, and respect he learned from your family."

Mrs. Potter flushed slightly. "He said that?"

"Many times."

She blinked quickly, trying to drive back the tears that threatened to surface. She did love Sirius like a son, but she had never realized that he felt so strongly about her family.

"Come on," Lily said with a smile. "Let's get inside and start shopping!"

They began with the bridesmaids' dresses. Lily had the time of her life searching through the hundreds of dresses on the racks. She managed to narrow it down to five styles, all in a rich, deep red wine color. She gave each girl an armful of dresses, and sent them into the dressing rooms.

All three girls came out in the first dress, each wearing a disgusted expression. They took one look at each other, then looked at Lily, who was seated next to Mrs. Potter to watch the fashion show.

"NO!" they all said in unison.

"All right, I get it!" Lily laughed. "Next option!"

Thirty minutes later, a dress had been chosen. All the girls had managed to agree on one style that they liked more than the others. While Dana, Olivia, and Laura were having their measurements taken, Mrs. Potter and Lily began searching for a wedding gown. A helpful salesgirl accompanied them throughout the store, making suggestions. In the end, Lily had at least ten dresses to model.

The first four dresses that she tried on were easily eliminated. They were all too fussy for Lily, who maintained that she wanted a simple dress. She picked through the remaining dresses in the fitting room, trying to decide which one to try next.

"How about this one?" the salesgirl asked, holding a dress for Lily to see. "It's very simple, yet elegant. Touch this silk. It's going to feel like heaven against your skin."

"All right," Lily agreed.

The salesgirl helped her into the dress, then stepped back so that Lily could see the result. Lily's breath caught in her throat as she looked at her reflection.

"Is that really me?" she whispered.

"It is," the salesgirl smiled. "I take it you like it?"

Lily nodded, running her fingers over the silk that hugged her sides. "I feel like a princess in this dress."

The salesgirl smiled again. "Let's see what everyone else thinks, shall we?"

Lily nodded, and stepped out of the dressing room.

Mrs. Potter and the girls had been chatting, but their words died on their lips as Lily appeared in front of them. Olivia and Dana both gasped, while Laura's mouth dropped open. Tears gathered in Mrs. Potter's eyes again.

"Oh, Lily, sweetie, I think we've found it," Mrs. Potter said, wiping at her eyes.

"You like it?" Lily asked needlessly.

"Like it?" Olivia whispered. "Lils, it's _gorgeous_!"

"You look like a princess," Laura said softly.

"I feel like a princess," Lily admitted.

Dana reached up to wipe her own eyes. "That's your dress, Lil. There's no competition."

Lily looked away from her companions to study her reflection in the mirror. Her vision blurred as tears pressed against her eyes. "I'm really getting married," she whispered, beaming through her tears. "I'm going to marry James!"

She looked at Mrs. Potter, who was still trying to stop crying, and thoughts of her own mother raced through her mind. What wouldn't she have given to have her mother with her, helping her chose a wedding gown? Different emotions crashed over her so quickly that she couldn't even stop to name them. She bit her lips to stop the sobs that were now fighting to escape.

Mrs. Potter watched Lily fighting for control for a moment, instantly realizing what must be going through her head. She stood to her feet, and moved to stand next to her future daughter-in-law. She adjusted the material of the dress, and looked at Lily in the mirror.

"Lily, I have never seen anyone look so beautiful in her wedding gown. Never." She looked away from the mirror, and made eye contact with Lily as she reached out to touch her hair, gently smoothing it back. "I know that you miss your mother terribly, and I would love nothing more than for her to be here with us right now, crying over the sight of you in your wedding gown with me."

She stopped playing with the younger woman's hair, and placed her hands on Lily's cheeks. "I would never in a million years try to take her place in your life or your heart, Lily, but there's one thing that I want you to know. From the moment James first brought you home for Christmas, I've thought of you as my daughter." She smiled through the tears that wouldn't stop falling. "I love James with all my heart, but I've always wondered what it would be like to have a little girl. Now I know that I've never had a daughter of my own because I was waiting for _you_ to step into my life."

Lily couldn't speak through the tears that were cascading down her cheeks. She reached out to hug Mrs. Potter. In marrying James, she was gaining more than a husband. She was gaining parents who were ready to welcome her with open arms into their home, their lives, and their hearts.

* * *

"Where's my silver bracelet?"

"I can't find my other shoe!"

"Are you two ever ready on time?"

"Shut it, Dana!"

Dana laughed. "All right, who needs help more?"

"She's only looking for an accessory!" Olivia cried. "I can't possibly go to this wedding in one shoe!"

"Liv wins," Dana laughed. "Sorry, Lils, but you're on your own to find your bracelet."

"You'd better not treat me like this on my wedding day!"

"We have four more months till your wedding day," Dana replied. "Maybe I'll be more willing to help you by then."

Olivia and Dana had just found the missing shoe when the roar of an engine split the air, followed by silence. The next sounds were those of cracks as James and Sirius Apparated into the girls' flat.

"Anyone home?" Sirius called.

"What on earth did you two use to get here?" Dana asked as she walked down the hall to greet the two men.

"My new motorbike," Sirius said proudly. "Will it be safe on the street? You don't have any crazy kids around who will damage it, do you?"

Dana looked at him in disbelief. "You bought a motorbike?"

"It's not just a motorbike. It flies, and it has an invisibility feature," Sirius said helpfully. "And before you even ask, Liv knows all about it."

Dana shook her head. "I can't believe it."

Sirius grinned. "Where is Olivia?"

"Right here," Olivia said, hopping down the hall as she put on her newly-found shoe. "We're almost ready."

"And we thought we left late enough," James laughed. "Weren't we supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago?"

"No one asked your opinion, Potter!" Lily yelled from her bedroom.

"Uh-oh," James grinned. "I'd better go see what her problem is."

"Lost accessories are her problem!" Dana called after him as he walked down the hall toward the bedrooms.

"Lil?" James tapped on her partially-open bedroom door. "Are you all right?"

"I can't find my silver bracelet!" Lily moaned, her eyes very bright. "It's the one that my mum gave me for my birthday last year, and I hardly ever wear it, but I thought that Minnie and Adam's wedding was a special occasion, so I should –"

"Lil, stop," James said with a smile, laying a finger across her lips. "I'll find your bracelet."

"Really?" she asked, feeling close to tears.

"Really," he replied. "If you need it, I'll find it for you." He looked straight into her eyes. "Lil, are you sure you want to do this?"

"Of course I want to wear that bracelet. I won't lose it or anything. I'm always really careful with it."

"Not that. I mean, do you want to go to the wedding?"

"Minnie and Adam are our friends," Lily replied. "Of course I want to be there for them."

"But a wedding . . . so soon . . ." He trailed off, uncertain as to how to make his point.

Lily nodded, understanding what he meant. "It's going to be hard. I know that. But it's not like Pet . . . like last time. Order members are going to be there, and security is going to be very tight." She looked up into his eyes. "It's not just about Adam and Minnie, though. I don't want our wedding to be the first wedding I attend after Petunia's. That would be too hard."

James nodded. "You're completely sure, then?"

"Yes, I'm completely sure. I want to be there for our friends, for us, and for me. I want to do this."

He nodded, and pulled out his wand. "In that case, you're going to need one more accessory. _Accio silver bracelet_!"

Ten bracelets zoomed toward him. Dana squealed as her bracelet was pulled from her wrist. James caught the bracelets in one hand, and waited for Dana's scream.

"James!" she yelled. "What are you trying to prove?"

"Sorry!" James laughed. "I'll bring it back in a second!"

Even as the words left his mouth, he could hear the sound of her heels as she marched down the hall. She appeared in the doorway, her expression a cross between anger and amusement.

"Be more specific next time you use the summoning charm," Dana said as she crossed the room. She grabbed James' hand, and pulled his fingers open. She looked at the bracelets in his palm for a moment, then picked one up. "I certainly hope one of those is Lily's," she muttered as she left the room.

James grinned, and held his hand out for Lily to examine the other bracelets. "Were you looking for one of these?"

"This one," Lily said, extracting one bracelet from the others. She gave James a beaming smile, and stood up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. "You're my hero. Thank you."

"I'm a hero, and all I get is a kiss on the cheek?" James asked with a teasing smile, placing the extra bracelets on her dresser.

"Well, if you can clasp this for me, then we can negotiate," Lily teased. She held out her wrist with the bracelet balanced on top of it.

James shook his head, and clasped the bracelet. Then he turned her hand over, and placed a kiss in her palm.

"You look beautiful," he said, raising his eyes to meet hers. He raised his hand to touch her hair, but decided against it after looking at the intricate style. He ran his fingers over her cheek instead.

Lily flushed. "You look quite handsome, yourself. Are those new dress robes?"

"Yeah, Mum said that my old ones weren't fit for humans to wear anymore."

Lily smiled, and stepped closer to him. "Well, I like these," she said, running her hands over his broad chest.

"I'm glad," he said in a hoarse whisper. He pulled her close, and leaned down to kiss her neck. "Mmmm . . . you smell wonderful."

Lily shivered slightly as his breath touched her skin. She smiled, and ran her fingers through his hair. "Thank you," she murmured.

"What are you doing?" he asked, pulling back to look at her. "I spent forever trying to get my hair to lie flat!"

"It looks better when it's messy," she replied, giving him a special smile. "Now kiss me, and let me mess it up properly."

James complied at once, and captured her lips with his own. She combed her hands through his hair, loving the feel of it falling through her fingers.

"James! Lils! If we don't leave right now, we're going to miss the wedding!"

James and Lily broke apart and looked at each other for a moment, trying to regain their composure. Lily giggled, and reached up to brush at James' hair.

"I think I went a little overboard," she said.

James grinned. "I'm sure it looks fine."

Lily finished with his hair, and stepped over to her mirror to look at her own. "It looks exactly the same as it did before," she marveled. "How did you do that?"

"Actually, I tried to avoid touching it," James replied. "And let me tell you, it was torture the whole way!"

"Well," Lily said, giving him a rather seductive smile, "if you're a good boy tonight, I'll let you do whatever you want to it later."

James grinned again. "I'll be on my best behavior."

"Well, don't go _too_ far with that good behavior thing," Lily giggled. "I may not recognize you by the end of the night!"

James laughed, and ushered her out of the room ahead of him. They were halfway down the hall when he reached out to grab her from behind. Lily gave a little shriek as he grabbed her bottom.

"Are you all right?" Dana exclaimed.

"Fine," Lily replied, turning to give James a murderous look.

"What?" James exclaimed. "You said not to be too good!"

Olivia and Dana both giggled, and Sirius and Aidan gave one another knowing grins.

"When did you get here, Aidan?" Lily asked, trying once again to regain some of her composure.

"Right after Sirius and James," Aidan replied. "Sirius even took me outside to see his new motorbike while James was helping you find your bracelet . . . or was it your tonsils?"

Lily's face turned redder than her hair, and Sirius burst into laughter. Dana smacked Aidan with her purse.

"You leave Lily alone," she said with a smile.

Sirius turned his laughter into a loud cough, trying to get himself under control.

"Come on, guys, let's get out of here."

* * *

The wedding was beautiful. Adam and Minnie had chosen to have an outdoor wedding, which they held on the rather extensive grounds of Minnie's parents' home. The very thought of being married outside made Lily nervous, but they had beautiful weather for it.

"That was really nice, wasn't it?" James said as they stood up after the ceremony ended. He gave Sirius, who was on Lily's other side, an evil grin. "Maybe we should get married outside, Lil."

Lily turned to him with horror. "Not on your life! With my luck, we'd have rain, wind, hail . . . I don't even want to think about it!"

Sirius laughed. "Actually, with your February wedding date, I think you'd have a blizzard."

"Thanks for giving me one more thing to worry about," Lily moaned.

James laughed, and pulled her close. "Everything is going to be fine, love. We're going to have the most wonderful, beautiful wedding ever."

Lily smiled, and kissed his cheek. "You're sweet."

"So are you."

Peter cleared his throat. "Hey, guys, you're sort of holding up the line here."

"Sorry!" James said quickly, turning to join the other guests who were congregating around the tables and dance floor across the yard.

"No problem," Peter replied with a smile.

James looked at Peter sharply, noticing that his smile didn't seem to take the sadness out of his eyes. He hung back a minute, ushering the others ahead of him.

"Are you all right, Wormtail?"

"Sure," Peter shrugged. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know . . . I guess you just seem a little down."

Peter sighed. "It's sort of tough, I guess. This is the first wedding I've been at since Kathleen . . ." He trailed off uncertainly. "I have to get over it though, right? I mean, I have your wedding coming up. I want to be in high spirits for that one!"

"Are you sure you still want to be there?" James asked, his eyes showing his concern even as a sense of déjà vu overtook him. Hadn't he just had a similar conversation with Lily? "I mean, if it's too hard . . . I don't want to force you to do something you'd rather not . . ."

Peter shook his head. "Your wedding isn't about me, James," he said, smiling sadly again. "It's about you, and it's about Lily. If I can't be there for my friends when they need me, then what kind of a friend would I be?"

James smiled, and clapped his hand down on Peter's shoulder. "You're a good man, Peter. If you need anything, or just to talk . . ."

"I know," Peter said quietly. "And believe me, I don't know what I'd do without you, Sirius, and Remus. You guys have always been there for me."

"And we always will be. Just like you'll always be there for us."

Peter sighed. "I feel like I'm not anymore. I mean, you guys are all in Diagon Alley, and I'm stuck at home . . ."

"Peter, no matter where you live, you'll still be our friend. Don't you ever forget that."

Peter nodded. "I know."

"Come on," James said, smiling again. "Let's go join this party!"

The party hadn't really started yet when James and Peter joined their friends at a circular table. Sirius was complaining about the lack of food as they sat down.

"So let me get this straight," Sirius said. "We can't eat until the bridal party does?"

"Right," Olivia replied.

"Well, why aren't they eating?"

"They're having their pictures taken," Dana said.

"And they couldn't do that later?" Sirius whined.

"Do you ever think about anything but food?" James laughed.

"Did you spend seven years at Hogwarts with him?" Remus laughed. "Don't you remember that our first mission once you got the invisibility cloak was to find the kitchens? I think you can answer that one for yourself!"

James laughed with him. "Fair enough."

Sirius looked from James to Lily. "If you two expect us to have our pictures taken between the ceremony and the reception, you'd better feed us before the wedding."

"I can attach a feedbag to you like a horse, if you'd like," Lily said sweetly.

Sirius grabbed his napkin, and threw it at her. "That's what I think of your and your humor."

"Oh, you know you love it," Lily laughed, tossing the napkin back at him.

"Now, now, children, play nice," James laughed. "I'm sure we'll only have to wait a little longer to eat."

The bridal party finally returned from what Aidan referred to as their "photo shoot," and the reception began. Adam and Minnie entered to the sounds of a string quartet, which began to play a waltz. The newly married couple danced, while their guests applauded. Sirius groaned again.

"Why can't they just let us eat?"

As if in answer to his question, the song ended, and the bridal party took their seats at the head table. The plates on each table filled themselves with food.

"Finally!" Sirius grinned.

"Maybe you were on to something with that feedbag, Lil," James laughed.

The sun set during dinner, and fairies began appearing to light the backyard. As the meal ended, the plates disappeared from the tables, and the wine glasses refilled themselves. The sting quartet left, and a band took its place. Adam and Minnie shared another dance, then others began to join them on the dance floor.

"Shall we?" James asked, looking at Lily with a smile.

She nodded with a smile, and took his outstretched hand.

James led her onto the dance floor, and wove her in among the other couples. He smiled as he looked down into her upturned face.

"Are you having fun?"

"So much," Lily replied. "I hope that our wedding is this magical."

"It will be," James assured her. "It'll be magical if for no other reason than that I'm marrying the girl of my dreams."

Lily flushed. "I love you, James."

"I love you, too." He leaned down to kiss her, then pulled back to look into her eyes again. He loved her eyes. At that moment, he felt like he could spend an entire day just looking into them.

For several moments, they danced in silence, caught up in the moment, and in being together. The song ended, and another song began. Its tempo matched the first; James and Lily barely stopped for a beat.

"What's with all the slow music?" James asked.

"James, it's a wedding," Lily laughed. "We're not exactly at a night club, here!"

James gave her an appraising look. "Do you know how to salsa?"

"Excuse me?"

"Can you salsa dance?"

"No," Lily laughed. "Can you?"

"Can I?" James cried. "I think someone needs a demonstration!"

"James, be serious!" Lily laughed.

"I am!" He left her alone, and ran off toward the band.

"Oh, no," Lily muttered, watching as he spoke to the bandleader.

"It's all set," James said cheerfully as he returned to her. "The next dance will be a salsa."

"Well, you'd better find yourself a partner who knows what she's doing."

"You'll be fine."

The song they had been dancing to ended, and the band began the next song. This one had a considerably different tempo. Lily gasped as James pulled her into his arms.

"Just follow my lead," he said.

Lily tried desperately to keep up with him, but she had no idea what she was doing. She started to get frustrated, then changed her mind. So she didn't know what she was doing. So what? James did, and he was having the time of his life. She gave up trying to do it perfectly, and tried her best to have fun, laughing at her mistakes.

"Now you're getting it!" James cried.

Lily laughed again. "You're lying through your teeth, Potter!"

The song ended, and James pulled Lily into a hug.

"That was fun," he laughed.

"I was awful, wasn't I?" she said, scrunching up her face.

James laughed again, and kissed her nose. "Yeah. But did you have fun?"

"Yeah, I did."

"That's what counts. Thanks for trying for me." He laughed again. "Next time, just follow my lead! I'll show you what to do."

"You say that like there's going to be a next time," Lily laughed.

James grinned. "Oh, there will be. You just wait and see."


	13. Unforgivable

A/N: First, a major apology! One of my friends is in town this week, and I seriously see her once a year, so I've been hanging out with her a lot. However, as her visit is winding down, I'll hopefully be able to get the next chapter out sooner. I'm making Monday my personal deadline, so we'll see what happens! Enjoy this chapter!

I don't own the Harry Potter universe, "Jesus Christ Superstar", or any other Andrew Lloyd Webber musical.

Unforgivable

"Are you ready for the meeting, Potter?"

James nodded, and picked up his bag. "Yes, sir. Which room are we in today?"

"Board room A," Fudge replied. "Let's go now."

James nodded, and followed his boss out of the office. They wound their way though the Ministry offices to the long hallway of conference rooms. They had a meeting scheduled with their counterparts at the Bulgarian Ministry of Magic. Many such meetings had taken place over the last month as Voldemort's power spread throughout Europe. Fudge did not make it to every meeting, but James did. It was part of his work for the Order. If Fudge was suspicious of James' willingness to volunteer to attend all the meetings, he never said anything. He seemed to be glad that James was so eager to be present at the meetings, as someone from the department had to be there.

They sat down in the conference room, and Fudge glanced at his watch.

"We still have about five minutes," he said. "Do you have parchment and a quill?"

"Yes," James replied, pulling the articles in question out of his bag. He rather resented Fudge's implication that he would arrive unprepared for a meeting.

James gripped his quill, and wrote down his name, the date, and the meeting topic on the top of the parchment he had taken from his bag. Fudge glanced at him in mild amusement.

"You do take detailed notes, don't you?"

"Ah, well, I'm a recent graduate," James replied with an almost-forced grin. "I'm used to taking detailed notes."

Fudge smiled, and began digging through his own bag for a quill. James breathed a sigh of relief when the man did not pursue the topic.

The quill and parchment that James used had both been gifts from Dumbledore. They had been charmed to record everything James wrote down on the parchment in Dumbledore's office. If he was reading the account during the time of the meeting, Dumbledore could make notes on his own parchment that would appear on James'. He had done this on occasion, prompting James to ask specific questions. James always worried that Fudge would notice such messages, but he was quite oblivious.

James loved his parchment and quill. His mischievous side often pondered all the possibilities for the fascinating items. His only sorrow was that he and Sirius hadn't had such a device while they were still at Hogwarts. It probably would have helped them though many a detention and History of Magic class.

Fudge was about to ask James a question when he was cut off by a bright light that permeated the room. As the light's initial brightness faded to a pleasant glow, the faces of the Bulgarian Ministry workers appeared on the closest wall. The four men looked in at James and Fudge with expressions of mild curiosity.

"Fudge," a tall man with a dark goatee man said in heavily accented tones, "you decided to join us today."

"Of course, Dimitri" Fudge smiled.

The Bulgarian men exchanged a glance. James could tell they were barely hiding their smiles. As they rarely saw Fudge at their meetings, the "of course" was a bit out of place. They also knew exactly what James thought of Fudge. Under Dumbledore's advice and guidance, James had developed a very close relationship with these men over the past month, even to the point of sharing his opinions of his coworkers. The headmaster was sure that close ties between the magical communities in different countries would be instrumental in conquering Voldemort, and James was very willing to agree with him.

"Let's begin," Dimitri said. He glanced at the man to his right, who generally recorded the proceedings. "Meeting with British Ministry of Magic, Department of International Cooperation, third November. Bulgarians in attendance . . ."

James stopped listening, and rapidly wrote down the names of the Bulgarian men. Naturally, he knew them all by now, and knew that Dumbledore was also familiar with their names. The headmaster always insisted that he record everyone who was present at the meetings. Thinking that it wouldn't really make a difference, James wrote down Fudge's name as well.

"Very well," Dimitri said. "First, we must discuss the Death Eater situation."

"How is that progressing?" James asked as he scribbled _Death Eaters_ on his parchment. "What happened with that situation we discussed last time?"

"We've determined that that was, indeed, a Death Eater attack," another man, Ivan, replied. "We've also uncovered that meetings are indeed taking place. We believe that the Death Eaters are forming a strong presence in Bulgaria. However, we are having problems discovering their plans before they strike. There was another attack just this morning. Fifteen wizards were killed."

James flinched as he recorded that information. "What does your Department of Magical Law Enforcement say about it?"

"They're completely overwhelmed," Dimitri replied, obvious annoyance crossing his face. "This is more than they are equipped to handle. Part of the problem is Durmstrang, of course."

"Your school?" Fudge replied blankly.

"Yes," Dimitri said. "It has long been Durmstrang's procedure to teach the Dark Arts to its students. This means that every Bulgarian witch and wizard has great experience with dark magic. Our Aurors are having problems deciding who is a Death Eater and who is merely practicing what they learned in school."

James exhaled, and ran his hand through his hair. As he wrote down the information, a message appeared.

"_Our Aurors or Order members_?"

"Would it be helpful if we sent in some Aurors to assist you?" James asked.

"We couldn't ask that," Dimitri said, holding up his hands.

"No, no, I think it might help," James said.

Fudge looked at him as though he had lost his mind. "James, we have to go through the Department of Magical Law Enforcement to do that," he said slowly, as though talking to a four-year-old with a mental disability. "We can't just promise them Aurors."

"I know that," James said, his frustration surfacing as it crept into his voice. "But I think I have some connections in that department that could help us." He looked back at the Bulgarians, and felt his frustration beginning to ebb. "Would you like for me to look into it? The worst that can happen is that we won't have anyone to send. At best, you'll have the help of some of the most experienced Aurors in the world when it comes to fighting Voldemort."

"Don't say the name!" Ivan exclaimed.

James smiled apologetically. "Sorry. So, should I get on that?"

"If it's not too much trouble . . ." Dimitri said uncertainly.

"Not at all," James replied cheerfully. "I'm sure you'll be able to help us in a similar situation someday."

* * *

Once the meeting had ended, and James had made his final notes, he took the lift up to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. The receptionist looked at him with a smile.

"Hi, James," she greeted. "Are you here to see your dad?"

"Yes. Is he in the office today?" James asked.

She nodded. "He was in Frank's office the last time I saw him."

"Thanks," James replied. He made his way down the hall toward Frank Longbottom's office.

The door was closed. James knocked tentatively, hoping that he wasn't interrupting anything extremely important.

"James!" Frank exclaimed as he opened the door. "What brings you to our department?"

"I actually wanted to talk to my dad," James replied, looking past Frank to his father.

"Hi, James," Mr. Potter smiled, sitting up straighter in his chair. "What's on your mind?"

"Would you like some privacy?" Longbottom asked.

"No, it's just as well that you're here," James replied. "I was just in a meeting with the Bulgarian Ministry of Magic, and they said that the Death Eater activity is increasing over there. Worse yet, because Durmstrang teaches the Dark Arts, they're having problems deciding who's a Death Eater, and who's just using the magic they were taught at school."

Mr. Potter nodded. "Does Dumbledore know?"

"Yes," James replied. "He also told me to ask them if they'd like the help of our Aurors."

"And?"

"They said if we can spare someone, they'd appreciate it."

"Can we do that?" Mr. Potter asked, looking past James to Longbottom.

"Barty should be all right with it," he replied. "I'll go myself."

"I'll go with you."

"No, you stay here." Longbottom looked thoughtful for a moment. "You can take my place teaching at the Academy. Moody needs someone who's very familiar with the laws, what with everything that's going on."

"You're starting the students on that already?"

"Yes, we start tomorrow."

"Could you two stop talking in riddles?" James exclaimed.

His father smiled. "Sorry, James, but this is confidential. I can't tell you what we're talking about. I'm sure that Sirius and Olivia will once they find out, though."

"I'm sure," James replied. "But what about the Aurors?"

"All right, James, we'll send someone to Bulgaria," Mr. Potter said. "Frank, who do you want to take with you?"

"Well, you and Moody are out because of the Academy work . . . I want to take Alice, of course . . . I'd like to take Gideon and Fabian . . . or at least one of them . . . and maybe . . ." He trailed off with a grin. "Maybe I should ask Barty about this before I get carried away. He's the one who has to approve the mission."

"Just tell him you want to go break up a Death Eater ring," Mr. Potter replied with a weary smile. "That's all he'll need to know before he approves it."

"True, true," Longbottom grinned. "Well, James, thanks for the information. I'll be off to Bulgaria tonight."

* * *

"So, do you want to come over for dinner tonight?" Olivia asked as she and Sirius walked to their first class.

"Sure," Sirius replied with a grin. "Are Lily and Dana going out, then?"

"No," Olivia giggled. "What gave you that idea?"

"What? I can't hope for an evening alone with my girlfriend?"

Olivia grinned. "We can plan one for later. This time we'll have company."

"All right," Sirius sighed, resigning himself to sharing Olivia for the night. "Who else will be there?"

"Actually, the girls and I wanted to get a whole party together," Olivia explained. "Lily's going to ask James, who should let Laura know at work, and Dana's asking Remus in class today. Do you know the best way to reach Peter?"

"We can send him an owl during lunch," Sirius said. He held the classroom door open for Olivia, then followed her into the room. "What's the occasion?"

"That we haven't all gotten together since Adam and Minnie's wedding a month ago," Olivia replied. "_That's_ the occasion. Do you realize how sad that is? I mean, we used to see each other every day!"

"Yeah, and we used to all be Gryffindors together," Sirius laughed. He stopped abruptly as he noticed the man standing in the front of the room.

"What's wrong?" Olivia asked.

"That's Mr. Potter," Sirius said blankly.

"James' dad?" Olivia asked as she slid into her seat. She looked critically at the man she had barely noticed a moment before. "James looks a little like him, don't you think? They have the same eyes, and the shape of their faces is very similar."

"I guess so," Sirius replied. "What's he doing here?"

"Isn't he an Auror?"

"Yes, but he's never taught us before. What happened to Moody and Longbottom?"

"They're probably off fighting the forces of evil," Olivia grinned.

"Oh, funny." Sirius put his books down on his desk, but didn't sit. "I'm going to ask him what he's doing here."

Olivia raised her eyebrows. "Are you allowed to do that?"

"I lived in his house for several years of my life. I don't think he's going to mind saying hello to me."

"Yeah, but doesn't that seem nosy? I mean, asking him what he's doing here – that's sort of prying into –"

"Olivia, stop," Sirius cut her off. "I have more tact than that. I'll phrase it appropriately."

With that, Sirius marched up to the front of the room. Mr. Potter looked up, his face lighting with recognition as he realized who was coming toward him.

"Sirius!" he exclaimed. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," Sirius grinned. "You?"

"Oh, fine," Mr. Potter replied.

As he looked at the older man, Sirius wondered if that comment was entirely true. He hadn't seen much of Mr. Potter since the beginning of the summer, and was surprised to observe the change in him. He looked even older than he had during the time Sirius had stayed with the Potters months ago. His face was pale and drawn, and his eyes lacked their usual sparkle. James had mentioned that his mother had said that Mr. Potter was overly stressed from his work with both the Aurors and the Order. Was his work really taking such a toll on him?

"I'll be teaching your class today," Mr. Potter offered, shaking Sirius from his thoughts.

"Just for today?" Sirius asked.

"Well, it depends on how today goes," Mr. Potter replied. "And I'm just here today as Moody's assistant. He should be here in a moment."

"What about --?"

"Longbottom?" Mr. Potter asked. "He's out on assignment today. If he completes his work today, he'll be in to teach you tomorrow. If not, you're stuck with me again."

Sirius grinned. "Well, in that case, please tell him that I was your best student."

Mr. Potter laughed. "I'll be sure to do that for you, Sirius." A bell rang, signaling the start of class. "Go ahead and take your seat."

Sirius nodded, flashed Mr. Potter another grin, and slid into his seat next to Olivia. Moody walked into the classroom, and gave Sirius a suspicious look.

"Late to class today, Black?"

"No, I was here on time. I was talking to Mr. Potter."

Moody nodded, remembering Sirius' ties to the Potter family. Without another word, he proceeded to the front of the room.

"Well," he growled. "We have an interesting assignment for you this week. The laws surrounding Aurors are changing, and our classes will change along with them. As you can see, Longbottom couldn't be with us today. He's abroad for a mission. This is Harold Potter, who will be his substitute. That's just as well, as Potter is well-connected with the law division of the department. He's going to explain the new laws to you before we begin working with today's curses."

Olivia glanced at Sirius, who shrugged. He didn't have a clue what laws or curses Moody was talking about.

Mr. Potter stepped to the center of the room, and cleared his throat. "Right. I'm sure you've all met the head of the Auror department, Barty Crouch, at this point. Well, the announcement was made last week that Barty has been promoted to Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. With that promotion, he's already made some changes. The most important change for us is that of the laws regarding the capture of dark wizards."

Olivia glanced at Sirius again. They both knew what Mr. Potter was getting at, and they were both more than a little concerned.

"Mr. Crouch has long been a supporter of the idea that Aurors should be allowed to use Unforgivable curses against Death Eaters. At this point in your training, you should all be familiar with the curses, although I hope that I can safely say that none of you have used them. I hope even more than I can say that none of you have experienced them firsthand."

An expression crossed Mr. Potter's face that made Sirius wonder if _he_ had ever experienced an Unforgivable. As Sirius tried to shake off the thought of Mr. Potter being subjected to an Unforgivable Curse, a picture of Lily floated across his mind. She was only too familiar with the Cruciatus curse.

"As of eight o'clock this morning, Aurors are officially allowed to use Unforgivable curses against Death Eaters," Mr. Potter continued, his expression quite unreadable. "What that means is that Crouch wants the Death Eaters brought in, regardless of the degree of force necessary. With this new authorization, there is no curse that should be outside your ability, be it mental, physical, or emotional." He paused, and looked around the room full of students. His eyes lingered on Sirius and Olivia. "Remember, Aurors are not allowed to be emotional beings while on the job. Distaste for what you are doing, or for the curses you are using cannot enter into the decisions that you make. You are dedicated to your work, and must perform your missions to the best of your ability."

He glanced at Moody, who nodded. The older man stepped up next to him again.

"Right," he said. "Today we're going to practice casting the curses. We'll work on that until you are all able to pass a test on them. Once you're ready to move on, we'll begin learning defenses against them."

Olivia raised her hand. Sirius looked at her in surprise. She didn't normally ask questions during class.

"Yes, Miss Alexander?"

"Sir, is there a defense against the Killing Curse?" she asked timidly.

"Yes," Moody growled, fixing her with a hard stare, "avoid being hit with it."

Olivia's eyes widened slightly, and she nodded.

"Now, if there are no further questions, we'll continue," Moody said. When the students remained silent, he nodded. "Right. You'll each need one of these."

He began levitating jars toward each of them. Several students barely managed to fight back gasps as the jars landed on their desks. They were full of spiders. Sirius eyed his apprehensively. What was Moody going to make them do?

"Now," Moody said, taking the lid off his own jar, "today we practice casting Unforgivable curses. You're going to hit these spiders the curses."

A sigh of relief rippled through the room. Moody looked at them as though he was trying not to laugh.

"What? Did you think I'd let you curse one another? Now, take one spider out of your jar, and enlarge it."

Sirius extracted one spider from his jar, and placed it on his desk. He cast an Engorgement Charm on it, making it grow to the size of a kitten.

"The first curse we're going to practice is the Cruciatus," Moody said. "The point of this curse is to cause as much pain as possible. The incantation is _crucio_, as I'm sure most of you know. But, before you begin your practice, you need to understand something. The Unforgivable curses, including this one, are not easy to cast. I don't necessarily expect you to succeed the first time you try to use the spells. All three curses require an enormous amount of magical power, as well as force of mind.

"Listen, children, this part is important. You have to actually _want_ to cast these spells. You have to want to cause pain, to force your victim to act against his or her will, or to kill your victim. This isn't something you can go into without really wanting to do it.

"I know that we've stressed that Aurors can't be emotionally involved. This is one time that that isn't necessarily true. As Potter said, you have to avoid any displeasure you might feel when casting these spells, but you can't completely detach yourself emotionally. You do need to feel the curse. You have to pack powerful magic and emotion behind it, or it isn't going to work. My best suggestion is to imagine the spiders to be someone or something you feel strong hatred toward." He glanced at his students. "Begin when you are ready."

Sirius nodded, the faces of his family members dancing before his eyes. But, somehow, he knew that was wrong. As much as he hated his family, he couldn't bring himself to hurl an Unforgivable Curse at them, even if it was just as the thought of them. He cast his mind around, trying to think of someone that he truly hated enough to cause such horrible pain.

Lily's face appeared before him again. This time, it was Lily begging him to modify her memory, to make her forget that her parents had died and her sister had written her off. Seconds later, her face became Olivia's, stricken as she read the news that her neighbors had been killed. Olivia's face morphed into James', listening to his father telling him that his aunt, uncle, and cousins had died.

Sirius gripped his wand tightly. He knew who to concentrate on. Voldemort.

He pointed his wand at the spider, who was trying to run off his desk. He closed his eyes, and thought of all the death and pain Voldemort had caused. Anger filled his being. He concentrated on that anger, and gave it an outlet.

"_Crucio_."

Sirius opened his eyes, and looked at the spider on his desk. It had collapsed, and was shaking in pain. Shocked by what he had done, Sirius lifted the curse at once. He looked at Olivia, who was still trying to cast the spell. She glanced at him.

"Did you get it to work?" she asked, her frustration evident in her eyes.

"Yeah," Sirius said uncomfortably. "Couldn't you?"

"No," she replied. "How did you do it?"

"I don't know," Sirius admitted. "I just thought of every awful thing I've seen, and let the anger take over, I guess."

Moody came over to stand between them. "Is there a reason I hear words other than '_crucio'_ coming out of your mouths?"

"Olivia asked for help casting the spell," Sirius said quietly.

"Does that mean you've done it?" Moody asked, a bit surprised in spite of himself.

"Yes, sir," Sirius admitted.

"Let me see, then."

Sirius nodded, and carefully aimed his wand at the spider again. He closed his eyes, and let his emotions take over.

"_Crucio_," he whispered.

When he opened his eyes, the spider was again shaking in pain. Sirius watched for a few seconds in morbid fascination, then lifted the curse. Moody nodded.

"I didn't expect anyone to do it so quickly," he said quietly. "Well done, Black."

"Is it?" Sirius asked, feeling a bit ashamed that he had been able to cast the curse so easily.

Understanding his question, Moody looked him straight in the eye. "I don't necessarily agree that Aurors should be using Unforgivables. I don't think it makes us any better than those we're been sent to fight. But, Black, you're one of the most talented Auror trainees I've seen in years. You have a brilliant career ahead of you. With Barty Crouch in charge, being able to use that curse is, indeed, well done."

* * *

They spend the rest of the day working on the Cruciatus curse. It was causing many people difficulties. As Moody had pointed out to them before they began, casting an Unforgivable curse wasn't the easiest task. Even those who, like Sirius, could cast it, had to learn to refine it. At the end of the day, they were released with the promise that they could cast the Imperious curse the next day.

"Such a reward," Olivia muttered. "Honestly, that man is mental."

"His methods are a bit bizarre," Sirius agreed. "I'm a little surprised he didn't have us using the curses against one another."

"No, that's next week," Olivia grinned.

"Oh, ha ha," Sirius replied. "Hey, what's up with that owl?"

Olivia jumped as the bird in question landed on her shoulder. "I guess it's looking for me."

"So it would appear," Sirius grinned. "Need help?"

"Can you just hold my bag?"

She passed her bag to Sirius, and took the letter from the owl. It took off again, and she broke the seal on the letter. She quickly scanned the parchment, then smiled at Sirius.

"It's from Peter. He'll be there for dinner."

"Excellent!"

* * *

"Are you ready for dinner?" James asked as he walked into Laura's office.

"Yes, just let me clear these papers away," she replied, waving her wand at her desk. She glanced at her watch. "We're late, aren't we?"

"Yeah," James smiled. "Fudge wouldn't let me out on time. He was pretty much awful to me all day. I think he's still bitter because I got the Aurors to go to Bulgaria yesterday."

Laura grinned. "You love to one-up him, don't you?"

"I do," James replied. "I really, really don't like him. Thank goodness I'm taking part of my orders from Dumbledore."

Laura nodded. "Well, I'm not exactly sure how much fun I'm going to have working for Mr. Crouch, if it makes you feel better."

"A bit," James grinned. "Is he as crazy as Sirius and Olivia say he is?"

"More," Laura said empathetically. "The man is a maniac! Incidentally, I think he could give Fudge a run for his money in the showdown to become Minister of Magic."

"Never!" James laughed. "On the plus side, it might just be a battle to the death . . ."

Laura laughed. "Come on, we're just getting later. Let's get to the girls' place."

James nodded, and they both Apparated to the girls' flat.

"I am so sorry!" he exclaimed as soon as he arrived.

"So am I," Laura added.

"A likely story," Sirius said comfortably from his position sprawled across the sofa.

James looked at him and laughed. "Were you planning to let anyone else sit down?"

"If you want to lie down with me, I'm ready for you," Sirius teased, opening his arms as if to embrace James.

"I think I'll pass this time," James laughed. He glanced around, and saw Lily sitting on the floor next to Peter. "I'll sit with this lovely lady . . . and Peter."

"Oh, thanks," Peter said sarcastically.

James grinned. "You know I love you, Wormtail."

"Sure, sure."

Lily smiled as he sat down, and touched his cheek. "Where have you been?"

"At work," James replied, making a face. "Where else would I be? Fudge is a maniac!"

"So you've told us," Sirius grinned.

"Yeah, well, apparently it bears repeating. Although Laura seems to think she can beat me in terms of having an insane boss."

"Oh, you're reporting to Crouch now, aren't you?" Sirius said, looking at her with wide eyes.

"That's right," Laura said grimly as she sat down next to Remus on the loveseat.

"Laura wins, mate," Sirius said. "Crouch is completely mental."

"That's true," Olivia said as she came into the room. "He's authorized Aurors to use Unforgivable Curses." She crossed to lie down with Sirius on the sofa.

"Are you serious?" James asked.

"Yeah," Sirius replied, shifting his position so that he and Olivia could fit comfortably together on the small surface. "We spent today learning how to cast the Cruciatus."

Lily jerked in her seat. James put his arm around her, pulling her close.

"I'm sorry, Little Flower," Sirius said quietly.

"It's all right," Lily replied quickly. "It's not your fault that I had to go through that." She shook her head as though to rid herself of the memories. "I don't want to talk about those curses anymore. I have good news that we can focus on," she smiled. "I wanted to wait until everyone was here to share it."

"What is it?" Dana asked.

"I've been promoted!"

"Really?"

"Congratulations!"

"What are you doing now?"

Lily beamed as she looked around at her friends. "I'm going to write for the local news section. I already told Minnie. She said it's going to be extremely helpful for our investigations, since I'll be one of the first on the scene for any major events in the area."

"Lily, that's brilliant!" James exclaimed, pulling her into a kiss.

"Wait," Olivia said with a slight frown as Lily broke the kiss. "Does this mean you won't interview Ludo Bagman anymore?"

Lily laughed. "I knew you'd have a fit. But I _am_ still going to interview him. That was the one condition of my promotion."

A bright light flashed through the room, cutting off any further conversation. Once it had faded, a letter and a golden feather were lying on the table. Dana crossed to pick them up.

"It's for all of us," she said, opening the parchment. "We have one minute to touch this. It's a Portkey to Headquarters."

* * *

"Excellent," Moody growled as the six newest Order members slammed into the training room. "We have a lot of work to do tonight."

Lily looked at James apprehensively. He shrugged. He had no idea what Moody was talking about.

"As I'm sure you've heard by now, the Ministry has recently authorized the use of Unforgivable Curses by Aurors. We're training all the Aurors in the use of the curses, as well as defenses against them. Now, I'm not very concerned about your use of the curses. I'd rather not use them myself, and I refuse to teach them to you. However, you will need to be able to defend yourselves against them. That's what we're going to work on tonight."

Sirius and Olivia exchanged a glance. Moody caught their slight movement, and looked in their direction.

"You two will be ahead of your class at the Academy," he stated. "Try not to act like it."

Sirius tried to fight back a grin. Moody was very harsh, but there was something about him that always made Sirius want to laugh.

"Now," Moody said, finally breaking eye contact with Sirius, "there is no defense against the Killing Curse. We'll work on the Cruciatus another time; that one you can help defend one another against if the need arises before we work with it. The one I'm most concerned about right now is the Imperious. We're seeing more and more cases of the Death Eaters forcing innocent people to do awful things against their will."

Peter glanced around the room uneasily. Mind control always made him a bit nervous.

"I'm going to put each of you under the Imperious," Moody said. "I want to see how strong your minds are – how able you are to fight it." He glanced around the room. "Black, come here. You're our first contestant tonight."

If Sirius was nervous, he didn't show it. He stepped up to the front of the room, and looked Moody straight in the eye. Moody nodded, and raised his wand.

"_Imperio_!"

Sirius' eyes became unfocused. A dreamy look came over his face, and his limbs seemed to relax.

"Black, do a back flip," Moody said almost lazily.

Sirius' relaxed limbs tensed again, and he obediently performed a back flip. James' eyebrows shot up.

"I didn't know he had it in him," he grinned.

Olivia glanced at him, and giggled. Moody frowned at them.

"One of you two can go next," he said as he lifted the curse from Sirius.

"I'll do it," James volunteered, standing to take Sirius' place in the center of the room. He patted Sirius' back as he walked past him. "Good show, mate. I expect you'll be on the next Olympic gymnastic team."

Sirius buried his face in his hands. He took his seat next to Olivia, and looked up at her. "Did I really just do a _back flip_?"

"Yup," she grinned.

Sirius buried his face in his hands again. He didn't look up until James started skipping around the room, singing "Ring around the Rosy." He grinned at James as he took his seat.

"Ready for musical theater, Potter?"

"Sod off," James grinned. "At least I won't have to wear a leotard."

Moody pointed his wand at them. "Are you two quite done, or do I need to test the Cruciatus sooner than I thought?"

James and Sirius instantly fell silent. They weren't entirely sure that Moody would refrain from cursing them if they kept talking.

"That's what I thought," Moody growled. "Alexander, let's go."

Olivia sang a medley from "Jesus Christ Superstar." James and Sirius glanced at one another, trying desperately to keep from laughing. They were both sure that Moody had used that particular action just to test their resolve.

Laura followed Olivia. Under the influence of Moody's curse, she declared her undying love for Remus. When it was over, she and Remus were both extremely red-faced. Peter went next, practically shaking in fear. He spent over a minute hopping on one foot until Moody stopped him. Dana was forced to speak Italian, a language she had never been proficient in. Lily was the last to go. She stepped into the center of the room, and glanced around at her friends.

"You guys won't make fun of me, will you?" she asked.

"Never," James grinned.

She gave him a look that said she didn't believe him, then looked over at Moody. He raised his wand.

"_Imperio_!"

At once, Lily realized why everyone had looked so relaxed under the curse. Every muscle in her body seemed to unwind simultaneously. She wished she could always feel like this.

"_Kiss James_."

Lily was about to step toward James, but stopped herself. She didn't want to kiss him in front of all these people.

"_Kiss him_!"

Why bother? She could kiss him anytime she wanted.

"_Kiss James_!"

Lily started forward again, and stopped herself. She really didn't like public displays of affection. She stumbled as her feet tried to move in opposite directions, but managed to stay standing.

Suddenly, the curse was lifted. The feeling of relaxation was gone. She looked at her friends, who were staring at her in shock. She turned to look back at Moody.

"Well," he growled, a fierce pride lighting his eyes, "at least _one_ of you can't be controlled."

* * *

"How on _earth_ did you do that?" James exclaimed.

"I don't know," Lily replied. She still looked incredibly unsettled by the experience, despite the fact that they all had been returned to the girls' flat by Portkey. "I just didn't want to do it, so I didn't."

"It's not that easy," Sirius replied.

"But it was," Lily argued.

"Didn't you see the rest of us?" Peter asked. "I've never been able to hop for that long before."

"And how exactly would you know that?" Sirius laughed.

"My neighbors and I used to have contests to see who could do all sorts of ridiculous things longer when we were little," Peter replied dismissively. "And hopping was the one I consistently lost. I don't have any balance at all. If you told me to do that right now, there's no way I'd even try! I didn't want to do it – but I couldn't stop myself."

"I don't know how I did it," Lily repeated. "I'm telling you the truth! I just kept thinking that I could kiss James on my own time, and that I didn't want to kiss him in front of everyone, so I didn't!"

"I believe you," Remus said.

"Thank you!" Lily laughed. "Why don't the rest of you believe me?"

"No, I mean, I can understand why it was so easy for you," Remus said. He looked at Dana. "Don't you remember the sleeping potions?"

Dana's eyes opened wide. "Oh, my . . . Remus, you're right!"

"Could you two please stop with the riddles?" James asked.

"Don't you remember when we kept giving Lily those sleeping potions, and she still wouldn't sleep?" Remus asked.

"Yes," James said, knowing there was no way he'd ever forget. "But what does that have to do with the Imperious?"

"Quite a bit, actually," Dana said. "Every night, Remus and I would find a stronger potion for her, because she kept fighting them off. It takes the same mental power to fight a sleeping potion as it does to fight the Imperious. If she was able to focus her power to fight off the potions when she was so distraught, I'm sure she could fight the Imperious pretty easily when she's at full strength."

"You know, _she_ has a name," Lily said, her annoyance obvious.

"Sorry, Lils," Remus grinned. "But what Dana just described is my point exactly. You're a powerful witch, Lily, and you just demonstrated that tonight."

"Great," Lily said with a titch of sarcasm. "So, when the Death Eaters take over all your minds with the Imperious, I'll be the one to bring you back."

"I'll be there to help you," Sirius said, his eyes glinting with determination. "I'm going to be able to fight off that curse if it's the last thing I do."

"So am I," James said.

"And me," Peter said. He shuddered. "Mind control is a scary thing."

"Me, too," Dana and Laura said together.

"We all will," Olivia said.

Remus glanced at the guys, then around at everyone. "We've stuck together this far. Nothing's going to tear us apart now."


	14. Christmas

A/N: I'm updating on Monday, as promised! This chapter is incredibly long – I've been working insanely to get it done. There's not too much action in this chapter, but I think it does work to advance the plot. I hope you enjoy it! Thanks again for reading and reviewing – I love you all!

I don't own Harry Potter's universe.

Christmas

"So, what do you guys want for dinner?"

"I don't care. Sirius, what do you want?"

"Food."

"Oh, that was helpful," Remus said sarcastically, rolling his eyes at his roommates. "Care to be a titch more specific?"

"Not Chinese," James groaned. "I still think they tried to poison me the last time we had it."

"Maybe it had something to do with the _amount_ of Chinese food you ate," Sirius laughed.

"No, they definitely tried to poison me. I don't ever want to eat Chinese again!"

"All right," Remus sighed. "So we've got it down to any food that isn't Chinese. Can we try to narrow it a bit more?"

"Remus, you know we aren't good at these decisions!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Yes, yes, you'd be lost without me. Now, try your best, gentlemen. What should we have for dinner?"

A crack split the air, saving James and Sirius from making their difficult decision. All three boys looked up, and saw Olivia standing in the foyer.

"Liv!" Sirius exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see if you'd like to go out for dinner," she replied.

Sirius turned to James and Remus with a beaming smile. "Looks like you two are on your own to decide what you're having for dinner. I'm going out with Olivia."

"Prat," James laughed. "Now you've left me alone to decide what we're having." He turned to Remus. "So, what do you want?"

"I asked you first!"

Olivia shook her head. "Lily and Dana are having the same battle at my place. You guys should go over there. All four of you can be indecisive together."

"Maybe we should," James mused.

"You do that," Sirius said, shoving his wand in his pocket. "I'll see you guys later."

"Bye."

"See you!"

Sirius turned to Olivia. "Where are we going for dinner?"

"Hogsmeade," she said firmly.

Sirius nodded. "Three Broomsticks?"

"No, I picked a different restaurant for tonight. Just Apparate to the Three Broomsticks, though. I'll take you the rest of the way."

Sirius nodded again, and Disapparated. Olivia waved good bye to James and Remus, and Disapparated as well. James turned to look at Remus again.

"Seriously, what do you want for dinner?"

* * *

"So, where are we going?"

"To a new restaurant," Olivia replied. "It just opened last week. It's called Lin Tao's."

Sirius nearly choked, and started laughing. "That sounds like a Chinese place."

"It is," Olivia said, looking at him oddly. "I thought you loved Chinese."

"Oh, I do," Sirius grinned. "The guys and I were discussing dinner before you came over, and the one thing that James had vetoed for tonight was Chinese . . ." His sentence trailed off into laughter.

Olivia raised her eyebrows.

"All right, I guess you had to be there," Sirius said with a grin. "So, how do we get there?"

"Right this way," she said, taking his hand.

Several moments later, they were seated in the restaurant with menus open before them. Sirius decided what he wanted quickly, and closed his menu. Olivia took a bit longer to deliberate; as soon as her menu was closed, a waiter appeared to take their order. Once he had walked away, Sirius looked at Olivia.

"So, what's the occasion tonight?"

"There needs to be an occasion for us to go out for dinner?"

"No . . . It's not usually so spur of the moment, that's all."

"I thought you liked surprises."

"I do. But the fact that you're disputing every word that comes out of my mouth suggests that you're trying to find a way to tell me something." A cold fear filled his chest. "Liv . . . you didn't bring me out here to break up with me, did you?"

"No!" she exclaimed. "No, Sirius, not at all!"

He raised an eyebrow, feeling his pulse speed up. "Are you . . . preg -?"

"NO!" Olivia nearly screamed, cutting off his question. She lowered her voice as other patrons turned to look at them. "No, I'm certainly not, thank goodness. I don't think we're quite ready to be parents."

He visibly relaxed. "Good. All right, now that we're past that . . . What do you want to tell me?"

"Well, it's more something that I want to ask you," she said nervously.

"Ask away," Sirius smiled.

"What are you doing for Christmas?"

"Christmas?"

"Yeah. Are you staying at your flat, going to stay with Andromeda, or do you have other plans . . .?"

"Oh," he said, understanding her question. "Well, I haven't really thought about it. I guess I could go visit Andromeda for a few days. I haven't seen her in awhile. Other than that, I'll probably go to the Potters' with James. I've been going there for Christmas for years now. It almost seems weird to think of going anywhere else."

"Well, would you consider it for me?"

"Where do you want me to go with you?" Sirius grinned. "Perhaps a ski trip in the mountains of Switzerland?"

"No, nowhere that exciting." Olivia bit her lip. "I'd like for you to come to my parents' house with me."

Sirius' eyebrows shot up. "Your parents invited me for Christmas?"

"Not exactly."

"What do you mean, 'not exactly'?"

"Well, they owled me telling me that John – my brother, the one who's an Auror – told them when our break is from the Academy, and they expect me to be home on our first day off. I sent them an owl telling them that I wanted to spend Christmas with you."

"Did I miss an entire conversation? When did we talk about spending Christmas together?"

"You don't want to spend Christmas with me?" Her eyes snapped angrily as the pitch of her voice rose. She was already tense enough over this situation without him arguing about spending the holiday with her!

"No, that's not what I meant." Sirius exhaled, and ran his hand through his hair. He stopped the motion quickly, realizing that he looked like James. How could he talk his way out of this one?

"What did you mean, then?"

"Look," Sirius said softly, reaching across the table to touch Olivia's hand, "you know that I love spending time with you. And I would love to spend the holidays with you. I'm just surprised that you would tell your parents that we're spending Christmas together, considering how they feel about me."

"What do you mean 'how they feel about you'?"

"Were you at King's Cross on the last day of school?" Sirius laughed. "Your parents made it pretty clear that they don't want their little girl dating me."

"Well, _I_ want their little girl dating you," Olivia replied firmly. "And my opinion is the important one."

Sirius grinned, relieved that he had managed to save the situation so easily. "So what did your parents write back?"

Olivia's reply was cut off by the waiter, who brought out their meals. Sirius picked up his fork, and took a bite of his food. Olivia also picked up her fork, but held it suspended over her plate.

"Well, they didn't owl me back," she said slowly. "They Flooed over to talk to me."

"They actually came to the house?"

"No, they just talked to me through the fireplace."

"Oh. What did they say?"

"They were pretty adamant that I was coming home for Christmas. And, as I'm sure you've noticed, I can be pretty stubborn."

"No! You?" Sirius laughed.

"Oh, shut it. Anyway, I told them that I wasn't spending Christmas without you, and that if they wanted me home for the holidays, you were coming with me. When faced with those options, they told me to bring you home with me."

The food fell off Sirius' fork as he nearly dropped it onto his plate. "What?"

"The important thing is, the invitation is out there, and at this point, I'd look _really_ stupid if you didn't come home with me. Besides, it would make you look bad if you didn't come after I said we had to spend Christmas together. So, will you? Please?"

Sirius laughed. "All right, Liv, if it will make you happy. You didn't even need to add that part about it making me look bad."

"Oh, thank you!" she exclaimed, her face lighting with a smile. "I'll owl them to confirm everything tonight."

"How long are we staying?"

"The entire holiday."

Sirius worked hard to hide his shock. "The entire two weeks?"

"Yes. Is that a problem?"

He swallowed. "No. It's not a problem at all."

Olivia beamed across the table at him. "Thank you, Sirius! This is going to be so much fun!"

* * *

"How did I let her talk me into this?" Sirius moaned as he threw clothing into a suitcase. "I must have lost my mind."

"Temporary insanity," James nodded from his spot on Sirius' bed. "Aren't you taking your dress robes?"

"I probably should, huh? I'm sure we'll have to dress up for something."

"Probably."

Sirius tossed the dress robes into his suitcase. "James, what have I gotten myself into?"

"Look, mate, maybe it won't be as bad as you think! You might have a great time!"

"Yeah, and Snape might become my new best friend!"

"Sirius, really, I think you're panicking over nothing! The Alexanders aren't that bad."

"Don't you remember what they were like when I met them at the end of the school year?"

"Yeah, I do. But maybe they've gotten used to the idea of Liv dating you since then."

"I guess . . ." Sirius said uncertainly.

"I'll have my parents talk to them if you want."

"It's a bit late now." Sirius glanced at his watch. "Liv's going to be here to Floo over with me in like two minutes."

"I'm sure you'll be fine," James said bracingly.

"Yeah."

James sighed, and ran his hand through his hair. "Sirius, why are you doing this? Why are you going to the Alexanders' for the holidays?"

"For Olivia," Sirius replied promptly.

"And why are you doing this for Olivia?"

"Because this is important to her. Because I love her."

"Exactly. You hold on to that the entire time you're there. You love Olivia, and you're doing this because it means a lot to her. This isn't about you, Sirius."

"Maybe not to us," Sirius said darkly. "But to them, I think that it's _entirely_ about me."

A whooshing sound filled the flat. James and Sirius looked at one another.

"I think that's her," Sirius said tensely. "She said she was going to Floo over."

"Sirius!" Remus called from the living room. "Olivia's here!"

"I'll be out in a second!" Sirius yelled. He looked at James with barely concealed panic in his eyes.

"This is it, then," James smiled.

"This is it," Sirius echoed. "When are you and Lily going to your parents' house?"

"I'm going to pick her up in an hour," James replied. He looked at Sirius critically. "You need to stop with the deer in the headlights look. Remember, you're an Auror. You don't show emotion."

"Except with her," Sirius said quietly.

"Well, at least not around her family," James grinned. He jumped off the bed, and held his hand out to Sirius. "Good luck, mate."

"Thanks," Sirius said, taking his hand. He pulled James in close for a manly, back-slapping hug. "You take care of yourself and Lily."

"I always do," James grinned as he pulled back.

"Are you coming to say good bye to Olivia?"

"Sure."

James and Sirius made their way into the living room, where Olivia was chatting with Remus. She smiled as she watched them approach.

"I was starting to think that you got lost," she grinned.

"Yeah, well, with such a massive flat, that's pretty easy," James smiled.

Olivia shook her head. "Come on, Sirius, we'd better get going." She looked at the other two. "Happy Christmas, guys."

"Happy Christmas," James and Remus said as one.

Sirius gave them a pleading look. "Happy Christmas," he said nervously.

"Happy Christmas," they grinned.

"Let's go, then," Olivia grinned. She grabbed the Floo powder, and threw it into the fireplace, shouting her parents' address.

Sirius looked back at James and Remus one last time. "Are you two going to church on Christmas or Christmas Eve?"

"Of course," Remus replied.

"Have you met my parents?" James laughed.

"Well, say a prayer for me," Sirius said. He took a deep breath, and flung the Floo powder into the flames, repeating the Alexanders' address.

James looked at Remus. "He's screwed."

"Completely," Remus laughed. "Are you done packing?"

"No. You?"

"Not at all."

"We'd better get on it!"

* * *

When Sirius emerged from the grate in the Alexander's kitchen, Olivia was hugging her mother. Sirius coughed, and tried to brush some of the soot off his robes. Olivia pulled away from her mother, and held her hand out to draw Sirius closer.

"Mum, you remember Sirius, don't you?"

"Oh, yes," Mrs. Alexander said, her eyes skimming over Sirius from head to foot. "How are you, Sirius?"

"Fine, thank you," Sirius said politely, reaching out to shake her hand. "How are you?"

"Fine," she said stiffly.

"My dad's at work," Olivia said. "He'll be home for dinner tonight." She glanced at her mother. "When is John coming?"

"He said that he might stop by tonight to welcome you home, but he'll definitely be here on Christmas," Mrs. Alexander replied. "He, Caroline, and the children are spending Christmas Eve with her family, so they won't be coming to church with us."

"John has two little girls," Olivia said to Sirius. "I told you about them, right?"

"Yes," Sirius said, searching his memory for Olivia's nieces' names. "Kristen and Megan, right?"

"That's right," Olivia beamed, thrilled that he had remembered.

Mrs. Alexander gave Sirius a critical look, then turned her eyes to her daughter. "Olivia, why don't you show Sirius to his room?"

"All right, Olivia agreed, picking up her suitcase. "I'll put my things away, too. Come on upstairs, Sirius."

He nodded, and followed Olivia out of the kitchen, carrying his suitcase. He looked around as they walked through the foyer and took the stairs to the second floor. The Alexanders house was very nice. It didn't have the rich elegance of the Potters' house, but it spoke of successful careers and of pride in furnishing and décor.

"This was my brother's room," Olivia said as they walked down the hall on the second floor. "My room is right across the hall, and the guest room – your room – is here, next to mine. My parents' room is at the end of the hall."

"Thanks, Liv," Sirius said with a smile.

Olivia pushed his door open for him. "Sirius, relax," she murmured. "You can't spend two weeks in a state of constant tension."

"You're right," Sirius smiled as they walked into his room. "You'll help me relax, won't you?"

"You know I will," Olivia grinned, setting down her suitcase. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and leaned into him. "Maybe later, I can give you a massage."

"That sounds wonderful," Sirius murmured, pulling her closer and kissing her. He pulled back, and smiled down at her. "We probably shouldn't be doing this in your parents' house, huh?"

"Probably not," she said, making no move to leave his arms. She kissed him again, even deeper than she had the first time. "Or maybe we'll just have to be very sneaky about it," she whispered against his lips.

Sirius chuckled, and kissed her again. "I love you."

"I love you, too." She ran her fingertips down his chest, then reluctantly pulled away. "We should probably get downstairs. Mum will wonder what happened to us. Or, worse yet, she'll know."

Laughing, Sirius followed Olivia back down the stairs.

"Mum?" she called as they reached the first floor. "Where are you?"

"Right here, honey!"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "She always says that. Would it kill her to give an actual location?"

Sirius laughed. "The Potters have the same problem."

Olivia smiled. "Where's 'here'?" she called.

"In the kitchen!"

"There we go," Olivia said. "Come on, let's go see if she has anything planned for us."

They walked hand in hand to the kitchen. Sirius dropped Olivia's hand as they approached the door. She gave him a curious look.

"I don't want to be too demonstrative in front of your mother," he said with an apologetic smile.

"She knows we're serious," Olivia replied. "If we weren't, why would I have insisted that you come home for Christmas with me?"

Sirius shrugged. "Still . . ."

Olivia shook her head, and pushed open the kitchen door. "Do you need help with dinner, Mum?"

"Not yet. We won't eat until everyone gets here."

Olivia frowned. "I thought we were just waiting for Dad. He'll be home from work in less than an hour."

"While you two were upstairs, I got an owl from your brother. He's going to bring the family over for dinner tonight. They won't be here until at least seven. If you hadn't taken so long upstairs, you would have known that," she finished with a disapproving frown.

Sirius glanced at Olivia. She met her mother's eyes without a trace of guilt or shame. Sirius was reminded of giving a cover story to McGonagall. He fought back the smile that wanted to surface, and forced his face into the innocent expression he had given to professors – often to great results.

"I was showing Sirius around upstairs," Olivia said evenly. "We wouldn't want him wandering into your room thinking it was the bathroom, would we?"

Mrs. Alexander rolled her eyes. "Show Sirius around the house, Olivia. You're just going to be in my way if you stay in here."

Olivia smiled. "Yell if you need me. Come on, Sirius."

"Where are we going?" Sirius asked as they walked out of the kitchen.

"Around the house," she repeated, taking his hand.

"Liv . . ."

"It's okay," she said, lacing her fingers through his. "I love you, and they can't change that. They need to get used to the idea."

Sirius grinned, and tightened his grip on her hand. "I love you, too."

* * *

"Hi, Olivia!"

Olivia and Sirius, who had just come in from a walk outside, stopped short and released hands. A smile broke out across Olivia's face.

"Hi, Dad!"

Mr. Alexander and Olivia both crossed the room, and met halfway in a warm hug. Mr. Alexander's eyes fell on Sirius, and his visibly stiffened. Olivia drew back, and glanced over her shoulder at Sirius. Sighing, she turned back to her father.

"How are you, Dad?"

"Fine," he said tensely. He looked past her again. "Sirius, hello."

"Hello, Mr. Alexander," Sirius said, reaching out to shake his hand.

"How do you like Auror training?" Mr. Alexander's tone implied that Sirius was not equal to the task. It was almost as if he was trying to provoke him.

"I'm enjoying it," Sirius said evenly.

"It's going great, Dad," Olivia said, trying to ease some of the tension in the room.

"Well," Mr. Alexander said, glancing at his watch, "John should be here soon. Olivia, why don't you go help your mother with dinner?"

"Come, Olivia," Mrs. Alexander said, rising from her seat to go to the kitchen. She gave her husband a pointed look, and he nodded slightly

"All right. Do you want to come, Sirius?"

"Sure," Sirius replied lightly, glancing uneasily at Olivia's parents. He had seen the exchange between them, and it had rather unnerved him.

"Sirius, why don't you stay with me." Mr. Alexander's statement left no room for argument.

Sirius nodded, and sat down in the chair Mr. Alexander indicated. Olivia looked at them both uncertainly for a moment, then followed her mother to the kitchen. Mr. Alexander sat down across from Sirius.

"Sirius, I think we need to talk about your relationship with my daughter."

"All right," Sirius agreed uneasily. He was quite sure that no good could come of this conversation.

"I'm sure that the feelings that you and Olivia have for one another are very strong," Mr. Alexander said. "And I know that two of your friends are getting married in a few months, so I won't belittle you by telling you that you're too young to understand how you feel. I'm sure that you do. I'm not going to dispute your feelings for my daughter."

Sirius frowned slightly. "That is rather the conversation I had expected, sir."

Mr. Alexander looked at him for a moment before speaking again. "I'm going to be blunt, Sirius. You aren't good enough for Olivia."

Sirius flinched. He had known all along that Olivia's parents felt that way, but hadn't expected to hear her father say it like that.

"Your family and your own history are against you. Olivia's told me of the things that you and your friends did at school, and, frankly, I'm not impressed. I don't approve of your relationship with her, and I want it to end. You can remain here for the holidays, since I promised Olivia you could. But, after the New Year, you will end your relationship with her. You will tell her that you are very sorry, but it just won't work out between the two of you, and you will never see her again."

Sirius laughed out loud. Mr. Alexander looked at him in shock.

"Young man, did you misunderstand me?"

"Oh, no, I understood you. You want me to break up with Olivia because you don't think I'm good enough for her."

"No, I don't _think_ it – I know it to be true."

Sirius shook his head. "Mr. Alexander, I'm sure that you and your wife are great parents. Olivia is proof of that. She's a wonderful person. She's clever, she's funny, and she can match me wit for wit. She's also caring and loyal . . . and she stands up for what she believes in. And she believes in me the same way I believe in her. She's my match in every way, and I love her." He gave Mr. Alexander a hard look that clearly said not to cross him. "I came here with Olivia because it's important to her – because _you're_ important to her. If you want me to leave your home, sir, I will, but I _will not_ leave Olivia." He paused, and took a deep breath. "Your approval means a great deal to me, Mr. Alexander, but she means more. I love her with everything I am, and I will stay with her with or without your blessing."

Mr. Alexander's face turned a vivid red, almost as though he was going to explode. He opened his mouth to unleash his fury on Sirius, who was more than ready to accept it, when a whooshing sound filled the air, followed by cries of delight. A moment later, Olivia came rushing into the room, bringing several people with her.

"Dad, look who's here!"

"Grandpa!"

Mr. Alexander's color began to return to normal, and smile spread across his face as his eyes fell on his two granddaughters.

"Hi, girls!"

Olivia's two young nieces launched themselves across the room, and into their grandfather's outstretched arms. Sirius watched for a minute, shocked that this was the same man who had been about to tear him apart only moments before. He finally drew his attention away from the older man and back to Olivia. She beamed at him.

"Sirius, this is my brother, John, and my sister-in-law, Caroline. John, Caroline, this is Sirius Black, my boyfriend."

John smiled, and shook Sirius' hand. "It's good to finally meet you, Sirius. Every letter I get from Livie is devoted to you."

"Oh, that's not true," Olivia laughed.

"You're right. You do mention your other friends, too. But I never get a word about your Auror training."

Olivia rolled her eyes, but smiled affectionately. "John finished training five years ago, so he thinks he's the expert."

"Well, I am," John grinned.

Olivia shook her head. "I'll go detach the girls from Dad so you can meet them."

"It's nice to meet you, Sirius," Caroline said, holding out her hand in greeting. "We _have_ heard quite a bit about you – and not just from Olivia."

"Who else has been talking about me?" Sirius grinned, shaking Caroline's hand.

"Alastor Moody," John said. "He speaks very highly of you."

Sirius relaxed a bit. Aurors generally took Moody's word as sacred truth. Perhaps Olivia's _entire_ family wouldn't hate him.

"Are you an Auror, too?" Sirius asked Caroline, trying to fill in the conversation.

"I was," she replied. "I quit after Kristen was born. Any woman who can be an Auror and a mother has my undying respect. It's impossible! Moody didn't take it well, of course. It was only my first year out of the Academy."

Sirius smiled. "I'm sure he got over it."

"Eventually," John laughed.

"Here are my girls!" Olivia said, coming forward with a little girl holding each of her hands. "Girls, this is my friend, Sirius. Sirius, this is Kristen, and this is Megan."

Sirius grinned, and dropped down to his knees to talk to the girls. "Hey, girls," he smiled. "How are you?"

Both girls smiled shyly. Megan pushed closer to Olivia, trying to hide her face in her aunt's robes. Sirius smiled again.

"How old are you?"

"Four," Kristen said softly.

"That's great age," Sirius said. "You're almost grown up, aren't you? Have your parents bought you a broomstick yet?"

"No," she said, giving her parents an accusatory glance.

John laughed. "Maybe Santa will bring you one this year, sweetie."

Sirius grinned up at him, then turned to Megan. "And how old are you, cutie?"

Megan looked up at Olivia. Olivia smiled.

"Tell Sirius how old you are, love."

Megan didn't respond verbally, but held up two fingers. Sirius smiled.

"You're two! Well, you're practically as old as your sister!"

Caroline looked away from her children and Sirius to her father-in-law. Seeing the intense anger on his face, she touched John's sleeve. He looked at her, and she nodded in Mr. Alexander's direction. One glance was all he needed.

"Livie, could you and Sirius take the girls into the kitchen to see if dinner's ready?"

"Sure," Olivia said, giving him a look of confusion.

"I'll come with you," Caroline said quickly.

"All right," Olivia said, frowning slightly.

Once they were out in the hall, Caroline paused. "Liv, you and the girls go ahead. I want to talk to Sirius for a moment."

Olivia nodded, still frowning, and led the girls down the hall to the kitchen. Sirius looked down at Caroline.

"What's up?"

"They're being hard on you, aren't they?"

"Yeah," Sirius admitted, not even willing to play dumb. "It's been a rough day."

"Yeah, I know. But don't let them get you down. You and Olivia love one another, I can tell. Just keep on loving her, and don't let them tell you what to do. Don't let them destroy what you have with her."

Sirius smiled. "Thanks, Caroline."

She smiled back. "Your family has a terrible reputation, Sirius, but if Moody is willing to give you his support, then I know you're nothing like them. Your family doesn't necessarily determine who you are. For the record, I'm on your side."

* * *

The dinner was the tensest Sirius had experienced since leaving his parents' house. John had obviously told his father to leave Sirius alone; the older man didn't speak to Sirius at all. He settled for shooting murderous glares in his direction at every opportunity. Sirius was sorely tempted to smile back at him simply to annoy him, but refrained. He didn't want to ruin dinner for everyone. Besides, he had Olivia and her nieces to keep him entertained.

As with all things in life, the meal did come to an end. Sirius hoped that the hour was late enough that he wouldn't be forced into another solitary conversation with Olivia's father. Fortunately, Kristen and Megan came to his aid.

"Grandma, Grandpa, will you come and play with us?"

"Oh, I have the dishes . . ." Mrs. Alexander said.

"I'll take care of them," Olivia said quickly.

"And I'll help," Sirius volunteered.

"Thanks," Olivia smiled.

"I wanted to show the girls that playhouse you built for Livie when she was little, Dad," John said. "It's been so long since anyone's used it that I had forgotten it. Is it still here?"

"In the same place. Do you still remember how to get to it?"

"There's a password . . . I was just telling Caroline about it the other day."

"Yes, I'd like to see it too."

While the others took the little girls into the sitting room, Sirius and Olivia collected the dishes from the table. They magicked everything into the kitchen, where they began the washing process.

"Your nieces are adorable," Sirius smiled.

"They're sweet, aren't they?" Olivia replied with a grin. "They've had all of us wrapped around their little fingers since their births."

"I'm sure you were the same way," Sirius said. "I guess I never realized how much younger you are than your brother until now."

"Yeah, we're eight years apart. I've always been sort of his pet. But now I have his girls to spoil, so I guess we've come full circle." She paused for a moment. "What did you and my dad talk about while I was helping my mum with dinner?"

Sirius paused for a moment. Olivia loved her father dearly. There was no way he could tell her the truth. It would only create a rift between them. "You," he said simply.

"Me?" Olivia repeated blankly.

"Yes," Sirius said. "We talked about how much we both love you."

Olivia smiled. "Well, I love you, too."

"Good," Sirius said, pulling her close to kiss her.

Olivia pulled away from the kiss to smile up at him. "I thought you didn't want to be demonstrative in front of my parents."

"They aren't in here, are they?" he asked, leaning down to kiss her more thoroughly.

"They'd better not be," Olivia breathed. She wrapped her arms more securely around Sirius, and pressed her body against his. "Because right now, I think we need to be alone."

"My thoughts exactly," Sirius murmured as their lips met again.

* * *

_Remus,_

_How's your holiday going, mate? Let me tell you, Olivia's family is insane! Well, not all of them. Her brother and sister-in-law are nice. But her parents are making me crazy, and this is only the second day! I thought that since you're at Laura's, maybe you would understand. So, do you have any advice for me? I really need to know how to deal with these people! I know you'll be able to help me. You're the logical, clear-thinking one! Thanks, Moony! I'll see you next year!_

_Sirius_

* * *

Remus grinned as he read Sirius' letter. No, he probably wasn't the one to give his friend advice. Laura's family hadn't been anything but wonderful to him. Although, after he had spent several days in her parents' house, Remus finally understood why Laura had wanted to live alone after graduating from Hogwarts. The peace and quiet must have been a strong incentive.

Laura was the second-youngest of seven children. Of her older siblings, two were married. The other three attended universities, and were all home for Christmas. Laura's younger sister, the only one Remus had met before, was a fourth year at Hogwarts. She had taken Remus under her wing, trying to help Laura introduce him to the wonders of the Muggle world. Remus was an eager pupil; he found the Muggle house fascinating.

"Remus?" Laura called as she walked up the stairs. "Where are you?"

"Right here," Remus said, popping his head out of the guest room he had been staying in.

"I thought I had lost you to the television again," Laura grinned as she approached him.

"That television is amazing, Laura! I could honestly spend hours staring at it."

"Most Muggles do," Laura giggled. "David, Cassie, and Matt are notorious for monopolizing it when they're home for holidays. But George was the worst! When he was at home, he was truly the ruler of the television."

Remus grinned. "I'm going to try to talk Sirius and James into putting one in our flat."

Laura rolled her eyes. "Good luck with that. Somehow, I have a feeling that a tv wouldn't last too long in Sirius' presence."

"Ah, you're probably right. I'm sure he'd try to change the channels with his wand, and end up cursing the television into a million pieces."

"Yes, because it's so hard to pick yourself up off the sofa to change them," Laura laughed.

"Have you met Sirius Black?" Remus grinned. "He'd think that's way too much work."

Laura shook her head. "Well, I was going to go decorate the Christmas tree. Do you want to help?"

"Sure!" Remus said. He frowned slightly. "Don't your brothers and sisters help?"

"I don't let them," Laura admitted with a laugh. "I never like the way they put stuff on the tree."

"My, you are picky, aren't you?"

"You're just seeing that now? And you've known me how long?"

Remus grinned again. "So, why exactly are you letting me help?"

"Because I love you," Laura said, standing on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. "Come on, let's go downstairs."

"All right."

Laura pulled out the boxes of decorations, and put a Christmas record on the turntable. She began directing Remus in the placement of the ornaments on the tree. Remus laughed at her.

"Do you think I've never seen a tree before?" he asked.

"I told you that I'm particular about this!"

"Why don't you just trust my judgment?"

"I'll try . . . But I'm not making any promises!"

An hour later, the tree was decorated. Remus and Laura stepped back to admire their masterpiece. Laura smiled, and leaned back against Remus, who wrapped his arms around her.

"I think it looks lovely, don't you?" he whispered.

"Yes," she replied, never taking her eyes from the glittering tree. "Thank you for your help, Remus."

"Thank you for letting me help." He kissed the top of her head. "I've never had so much fun decorating a tree."

"Neither have I."

They stayed like that for several moments, until Laura reluctantly pulled away.

"We should clear away all these boxes," she said.

Remus nodded his agreement, and began to help her again. Once the boxes were back in their proper places, Laura looked up at Remus.

"Mum was making some cookies earlier. Let's go see if they're ready yet."

"Weren't those for your nieces and nephews?" Remus laughed.

"They aren't coming over until later," Laura replied, waving her hand dismissively. "They won't know if we take a couple. Besides, we should test them to make sure they're all right for the kids to eat."

Remus laughed again, and followed her to the kitchen. Mrs. Bond smiled at them as they entered.

"Is the tree done?" she asked.

"Yes," Laura replied. "And I do think it's the prettiest tree we've ever had."

"Good girl. You always do a lovely job of decorating our trees."

"Well," Laura smiled, "then I think I need a reward. And so does Remus, since he helped me."

"He deserves a medal for that," Mrs. Bond laughed. "I can't believe you survived it Remus! Most of us can't handle being anywhere near Laura when she decorates the tree!"

"She told me she won't let anyone help," Remus laughed.

"Well, that's true . . . But we also know better than to try. It's not pretty for anyone!"

Laura rolled her eyes. "Stop trying to make me look bad, Mum. Remus knows me well enough by now." She glanced at the plate of cookies on the counter. "Can we test those for you?"

"I suppose," Mrs. Bond said, offering them the plate. "But don't tell anyone else, or I won't have any for the children."

"We wouldn't dream of it," Laura grinned. "Come on, Remus."

They left the kitchen together, each carrying a cookie. When they passed through the living room, Remus noted that the television was on. He paused to see what show was on; Laura paused with him. She rolled her eyes.

"You really are obsessed with that thing, aren't you?"

"Remus!" Matt exclaimed. "Come in and watch with us!"

"We're watching a horror movie marathon," Cassie added. "This will probably look really fake to you guys, though. Hannah's been laughing through the whole thing."

"You should see the way they depict witches and wizards!" Hannah giggled. "Oh, and the dark creatures are hysterical! The last one had a vampire! He was ridiculous!"

Remus smiled, and sat down with them. Shrugging her shoulders, Laura sat down next to him.

"Hey, where did you get those?" David asked, spying the cookies they had in their hands.

"Kitchen," Laura replied lazily.

"Go get me a cookie, Hannah."

"Get it yourself."

"You're the witch. Can't you just make it zoom over or something?"

"It's called summoning," Hannah said, rolling her eyes. "And you know very well that I'm not allowed to do magic outside Hogwarts."

"Fine. Matt, get me a cookie."

"I'm not your servant, lazy arse. Get it yourself."

Remus watched them in mild amusement for a moment. Then, a horrendous shriek from the television caught his attention. He wasn't the only one. David and Matt stopped their argument to watch as a woman ran in fear.

"What's she scared of? Did I miss the monster?" Matt asked.

Cassie rolled her eyes. "Maybe you should try paying attention! But I'm sure you didn't miss the monster entirely. They haven't killed him yet. Oh! There he is!"

Remus stared at the television in shock. The monster that was terrorizing the village was unmistakably a werewolf. He didn't look exactly like a real werewolf, but he was a close enough copy that Remus could recognize him for what he was. He watched in sick fascination as the werewolf raced through the village, tearing houses and people apart.

"That's not right at all," Hannah laughed. "I know we didn't learn that werewolves act like that in Defense Against the Dark Arts! I mean, it's broad daylight! No werewolf would be out then! Isn't that right, Laura?"

"Yeah," Laura said in a tight voice, "yeah, you're right, Hannah. You should write these things, you know."

"Maybe I will someday," Hannah said smugly. She returned her attention to the television.

"Remus?" David asked suddenly. "Are you all right, mate?"

Remus forced his attention away from the television, and swallowed hard. "Yeah, I'm fine," he said a bit hoarsely.

"Are you sure? You look a little out of it."

Remus smiled weakly. "Well, I did just help your sister decorate the Christmas tree."

"Say no more," Matt grinned.

"We should have warned you," Cassie laughed. "We all know better by now."

Laura shook her head, and looked back at Remus with concern. "Come on, Remus, let's get out of here.

"No!" Remus said quickly. "No, I want to see how the movie ends."

"Are you sure?" Laura asked uncertainly.

"I'm sure," Remus said firmly.

Laura nodded, and cuddled close to him. He put his arm around her, holding on as though for dear life. He didn't want to watch this movie, but he had to. He had to see how the movie ended. He had to see how Muggles viewed monsters like him.

* * *

"I don't know why you had to see the ending," Laura said. She passed Remus a piece of chocolate. "I can't believe it's taken this much out of you, though."

"Laura, I just watched a werewolf being killed. A Muggle drove a stake through his heart!" He sat down on her bed, still chewing his chocolate. "It was pretty sick, you know."

"Yeah, it was," Laura said. "But it wasn't real, Remus. It was just a movie. A movie starring, written, produced, and directed by Muggles. They didn't know what they were doing!"

"I'm not so sure," Remus said slowly. "I mean, the form was off, and the habits, like Hannah pointed out, but the transformations were dead on."

Laura shivered. "Even the pain?"

"Especially the pain."

"Remus, I –"

A knock on the door cut off her statement. Laura glanced at Remus, who nodded.

"Come in!"

The door opened, and Hannah walked in. She closed it behind her, and crossed the room slowly, deliberately.

"I have a question for you," she said.

"For me?" Laura asked.

"More for Remus, actually."

"Shoot," Remus said, trying to sit up straighter.

Hannah drew a deep breath. "Do you know any werewolves?"

The color drained from Remus' face. "What? What gave you that idea?"

"Nothing, really, except . . . I was watching you during the movie. Now, I know you've never seen a tv or anything before, but you were really, really disturbed by that movie. More than you have been by anything we've seen since you've been here. I just thought that maybe you knew someone who had to go through that." Her eyes shifted to her sister. "Really, you were pretty upset about it, too, and I know that you've seen movies like that before . . ." Her voice died, and her eyes grew round as the pieces came together in her head. Her hands flew up to her mouth.

"Hannah, stop right there," Laura said quickly.

Hannah shook her head quickly from side to side. "Remus," she gasped. "Are you -?"

"Yes," Remus said quietly. "Yes, I am."

"Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God," Hannah whispered.

Laura jumped up, and pulled her sister close. She crushed Hannah to her, rocking her back and forth.

"Laura," Hannah whispered. "You knew, didn't you?"

"Yes," Laura said softly. "But, Hannah, really, everything's going to be okay. I promise. It's fine. Remus is fine. He's still the same person he's always been."

"Is this why you broke up during your seventh year?" Hannah asked softly.

"Yes," Laura replied. "But it wasn't really because of that. It was because – because he had told his friends, but not me. I felt like he trusted them more than he did me."

"Who else knows?"

"My parents," Remus replied. "And James, Sirius, Peter, Lily, Olivia, and Dana. Kathleen knew, but she's gone now."

Hannah shook her head again. "How long have you . . . been this way?"

"Ages," Remus said softly. "Ever since I was six."

"And you've lived with it? You haven't tried to . . ."

"Oh, I've tried," Remus affirmed. "But something has always happened to stop me. Believe me, Hannah, I've never . . . hurt anyone. And I would never, _never_ knowingly do anything to hurt you, or Laura, or anyone else in your family. I love you all too much."

Hannah nodded slowly. "I believe you."

"Hannah, listen," Laura said. "You can't tell anyone about this, okay? Remus can't have a lot of people find out, or it won't be good for him."

Hannah nodded. "I understand. I won't say anything."

Remus smiled at her. "You're a strong girl, Hannah."

Hannah smiled. "I get it from Laura."

* * *

_James,_

_Well, Hannah, Laura's little sister, figured out what I am. It all started as an innocent movie night with her siblings, and it turned into an exposé on my life! Too bad Lily wasn't here for it – she probably could have put it in the local news! Everything's fine, though. Hannah swore not to say anything._

_I hope your holiday isn't as traumatic as mine! Are there any demons lurking in your past that can be revealed during a family moment? Well, enjoy your time with Lily and your parents. Happy Christmas!_

_Remus_

* * *

James walked around his parents' house searching for Lily. He wasn't sure where she was, but he was quite sure that she wouldn't appreciate him yelling her name as he wandered through the hallways. He glanced into the living room as he passed. Seeing nothing that suggested that Lily was in the room, he was about to keep walking when a flash of red caught his eye. He stopped, and walked into the room.

Lily was curled up on the window seat behind the Christmas tree, staring at the glittering holiday symbol. James smiled, thinking of three nights ago, when he, Lily, and his parents had decorated it. They had had so much fun, and the tree looked wonderful. Now, as he watched her, Lily looked anything but happy. Sighing, James moved closer.

"Lily? Are you all right?"

Lily's head snapped up, and she pasted a smile on her face. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be all right?"

James sat down next to her. "Do you really want me to answer that?"

Lily sighed, and leaned up against him. "I miss them," she whispered.

"I know," James sighed, pressing a kiss into her hair. "If you didn't miss your parents, I wouldn't love you as much."

"Well, that's a lovely thing to say," Lily said, twisting her head to look into his eyes.

"I didn't mean to be harsh. I just meant that one of the things that I love most about you is that you're caring and compassionate, and that you feel everything so deeply. You love with such passion, you feel anger with such fire, and you're loyal with such strength. That's all a part of who you are, and why I love you. If you weren't sad thinking about your parents now, you wouldn't be _you_."

Lily smiled. "You really do know how to talk your way out of anything, don't you?"

"It's a talent," James grinned. "I think the only one who ever saw through me was McGonagall."

Lily shook her head, and smiled again. "When does your family go to Mass on Christmas?"

"We always go to Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve."

"That's in like an hour!"

James nodded. "I guess I should have given you more notice. Sorry about that. Is it all right with you?"

"Perfect," Lily agreed. "My family always went to Midnight Mass, too."

"Good," James smiled. "And when we have children, we'll make them stay up late to go, just like our parents did with us."

"How many children? We need to be prepared before we start dragging them out in the middle of the night," Lily smiled.

"Oh, at least ten," James grinned.

"TEN!" Lily cried, jumping out of his arms and to the other side of the window seat. "James Potter, you are completely insane! We are _not_ having ten children!"

"What? I thought you liked kids!"

"Yes, other people's!" Lily laughed. "But I don't need ten of my own, thank you very much!"

"How about two, then?"

"That's a much better place to start," Lily laughed. "In fact, I think I'd be happy with one for awhile."

"You don't want twins, then?"

"No, I think one will be as many as I can handle!"

James smiled, and kissed her temple. "I think I'd like to handle just the two of us for awhile."

"I'd like that," Lily said, cuddling close to him again.

"James? Lily? Are you in here?"

James and Lily untangled themselves, and stood up to walk around the tree. Mrs. Potter smiled as they came into view.

"We're leaving for church in an hour. You should probably start getting ready."

"We're on it, Mum," James grinned. He took Lily's hand to lead her to the bedrooms.

"Maybe we should back off the public displays of affection in front of your parents," Lily smiled as she and James made their way upstairs.

"And miss out on stuff like this?" James asked, grabbing Lily.

He pulled her close, and backed her up so that her back was against the wall as he kissed her. She drew her breath in sharply, then relaxed into the kiss, running her fingers through his hair. James pulled away, and smiled down at her.

"Are you sure you don't want to snog me in this house?"

Lily responded by kissing him again.

* * *

Lily struggled with herself during the majority of the Mass. Memories of her parents flooded her mind, and conflicting emotions washed over her like waves. She took James' hand, lacing her fingers through his. He looked down at her with concern, and she gave him a smile. He smiled back, and tightened his hold on her hand.

Lily fought back tears as they knelt for the Consecration. In her mind, she could see the reverence in her mother's eyes as implored her girls to feel the same emotion as she did for the sacrament. After taking the Eucharist, Lily's prayers were devoted to her parents – that they would rest in peace, and be proud of both of their daughters.

After the closing hymn, they prepared to leave their pew. James helped Lily into her jacket, then placed his hand against the small of her back to lead her forward. She had made it to the end of the pew before she realized that James' hand was gone. She turned quickly, and saw him exchanging greetings with Danny, who was standing in the pew behind them.

"Happy Christmas, Lily," he smiled as she turned to face him.

"Happy Christmas," she replied.

"So, James tells me you're planning a February wedding," Danny smiled. "Are you going for a Valentine's Day theme?"

"Goodness, no," Lily shuddered. "Can you imagine anything tackier than that? My bridesmaids will be in green, thank you very much."

Danny laughed. "You're a lucky man, James. You have a good one here."

"So do I," Lily smiled, taking James' arm.

Danny glanced behind him. "I do need to run. My parents are waiting. I just wanted to stop to say hello."

"I'm glad you did," James grinned. "Will you come over for a bit tomorrow?"

"If I can get away," Danny promised. "Happy Christmas."

"Happy Christmas," James replied. He looked at Lily. "Come on. Mum and Dad will wonder what happened to us."

By the time they returned to the Potters', it was quite late. Mrs. Potter yawned as she took off her coat.

"My, I think that midnight comes a little later every year," she smiled.

James laughed. "If you say so, Mum."

She swatted him. "Show some respect for your elders."

"Certainly," James grinned. "You do realize that you just called yourself old, right?"

"Oh, James, I'm tired!"

James, Lily, and Mr. Potter all laughed. Even Mrs. Potter joined in after a moment.

"Well, I'm off to bed," she said, still chuckling. "Are the rest of you coming?"

"I'm not quite ready yet," James replied.

"I'll stay up a bit later," Lily agreed.

Mrs. Potter shook her head. "Harold? What about you?"

"Of course," Mr. Potter smiled. "We old folks have to get to sleep earlier than these young ones."

Both laughing, the Potters headed up the stairs together, calling good night.

"Don't stay up too late, James!" Mrs. Potter admonished as she disappeared around a corner in the hall.

James smiled, and turned to Lily. "How about a midnight stroll?"

"You want to go out for a walk?"

"Unless there's a new definition for 'stroll' that I haven't heard about."

Smiling, Lily shook her head, and pulled her coat back on. "Where are we headed?"

"Out back," James replied, shrugging into his own jacket. "Just follow me."

Lily nodded, and let him lead her outside. The night was very clear, with brilliant stars shining down on them. Only a few clouds marred the sky. They shifted, and the moon peeked down at them.

"Half moon," Lily breathed.

"Thank goodness," James murmured, thinking of Remus. He wondered if Hannah was keeping her word and her silence.

Lily took in a breath of the sharp, cold air. She felt more alive now, with snow crunching under her feet in the freezing cold, under a blanket of stars, than she had in weeks. She shivered slightly, and James moved closer, putting his arms around her.

"Are you too cold?"

"No," she smiled. "Being out here with you like this, James – it's perfect."

James smiled down at her. "Not quite."

"What?"

He pulled away from her, and took out his wand. He muttered a spell, and waved the narrow strip of wood. Dozens of fairies shot out of it, hovering above them in a fluttering canopy of light. Lily turned to James with a beaming smile.

"James! It's beautiful! It reminds me of Minnie and Adam's wedding."

James grinned. "Well then, may I have this dance?"

"But there's no music."

"Can't you hear it?" James asked, beginning to hum a tune under his breath.

He took Lily in his arms, and began to waltz around the yard with her. She laughed, and quickly fell into step with him. He spun her, and laughed with her.

"Such moves!" she exclaimed.

"That was just the beginning!" James laughed, dropping his arm to dip her.

Lily gave a shriek of laughter, and he pulled her back upright. He twirled her around again, then settled her in his arms.

"You _are_ an incredible dancer," she smiled.

"No better than you," he whispered, drawing her closer.

"James!" Lily exclaimed, pulling back slightly.

"What?"

"Look! It's snowing!"

They both looked up, still swaying to the music in their hearts, letting the snowflakes fall against their faces. James looked down at Lily with a soft smile.

"Happy Christmas, Lily."

"Happy Christmas, James."

* * *

_Peter,_

_Happy Christmas! Has your holiday been all you dreamed and more? We really need to catch up! When can you come and visit us? We'll all be back in the flat by the first of the year. Let us know! We'll be waiting to hear from you!_

_James_

* * *

Peter sighed as he read James' short message. Yes, his holiday had been _exactly_ what he had expected. His mother had fussed over everything, trying to make it a special occasion, and his father had complained about everything, saying that it was too much. He had also criticized Peter, as usual, skirting around saying that he was a disappointment. Mrs. Pettigrew would never allow him to actually say the words, but she was the only thing that kept him from it. Peter was used to it, of course, but it still stung. He was still searching for a way to win his father's approval.

Then, when Peter went downstairs from breakfast on the day before New Year's Eve, his father greeted him with a smile. Peter glanced at him warily.

"You're chipper," he commented.

"As we all should be!" Mr. Pettigrew replied cheerfully. "Have you seen the Daily Prophet this morning?"

"And when would I have had time for that?" Peter asked sarcastically. "I just walked down the stairs. Or did you miss that?"

It was a testament to how pleased his father was over the news that he didn't respond. Peter took that as a sign – a very bad sign.

"Look at this, my boy!" Mr. Pettigrew said, sliding the paper across the table.

Peter picked it up, and sat down to read it. The headline flashed out at him: _TWENTY WIZARDS KILLED IN HOGSMEADE; ATTACK ATTRIBUTED TO DEATH EATERS_

"And why would I be interested in this?" Peter asked.

"It's a sign of the times!" Mr. Pettigrew replied. "The Dark Lord has managed to take Hogsmeade!"

"That's not what it says," Peter argued. "It just says there was an _attack_ in Hogsmeade. It doesn't say anything about the Dark Lord taking _over_ Hogsmeade."

"You know that the Prophet doesn't report everything, don't you?"

Peter thought to what Lily had said about how slanted the paper's news tended to be. The editors and the Ministry had agreed to report a toned-down version of the news. They didn't want to start a panic. As those thoughts ran through his head, he nodded.

"The Dark Lord is taking over everywhere, Peter," Mr. Pettigrew said, his eyes gleaming. "He's even begun recruiting followers abroad. Have you heard about that?"

Again, Peter nodded. Hadn't the Longbottoms gone to Bulgaria to help fight the Death Eaters? And James had also spoken of problems in Greece and Sweden, and of his concern that more countries would have similar problems.

"It's only a matter of time, Peter. You've seen the destruction that the Dark Lord has managed to cause, even with your group working against him. You've seen Dumbledore's inability to fight him. Soon, everyone will realize that the Dark Lord is right, and they will join his ranks. His theories are correct, Peter. If we can eliminate the weak, the wizarding world will become an unstoppable force. That makes sense to you, doesn't it? The strongest wizards will produce the strongest children. The weaker wizards simply can't help the creation of a stronger race."

Again, Peter nodded. What his father was saying did make sense. Didn't it?

Mr. Pettigrew's eyes began to shine. "You're beginning to see the light, Peter. You'll make me proud yet."

"I hope to," Peter whispered.

"You will," Mr. Pettigrew said confidently. "I'm sure you can make me proud, Peter. The power is there within you. We just have to reach it."

Once again, Peter nodded.


	15. Twice Defied

A/N: Alrighty, everyone, I want to let you know in advance that I'm in a wedding this weekend, so I'm shooting for Tuesday, July 13 for my next update. On an unrelated note, the conversation between Dumbledore and Moody in this chapter is dedicated to everyone who wanted James to be an Auror.

I don't own Harry Potter's universe.

Twice Defied

"Thank you for everything, Mrs. Potter," Lily said as she prepared to Floo home.

"It was my pleasure," Mrs. Potter smiled. "We've loved having you, Lily. It seemed more like Christmas with you here."

Lily smiled. "Well, maybe next year, you can come to our house for Christmas."

James grinned. "That's a great idea! Christmas dinner will be at our house next year!"

"Have you found a house, then?"

James and Lily looked at one another. Mrs. Potter laughed.

"I'll take that as a no. You'd better start looking. You can't live apart once you're married, and you only have about six weeks until the wedding!"

"We know, we know," James smiled. "We'll start looking tomorrow, I promise."

"I'll hold you to that," Mrs. Potter replied with a grin. She leaned forward to kiss Lily's cheek. "Good bye, darling. Be careful going home, now."

"I will be," Lily promised. "Tell Mr. Potter that I said good bye."

"I will," Mrs. Potter replied. "He was sorry he couldn't see you off, but he had to work."

"I understand," Lily said. "Tell him not to work too hard."

"I will," Mrs. Potter said. "Maybe he'll listen to you. Goodness knows I've been telling him that for years!" She laughed. "We'll see you soon, Lily!"

Lily nodded, and waved good bye again. She took her suitcase in one hand, and a fistful of Floo powder in the other. She tossed the powder into the fireplace, calling her address.

She choked as she emerged from the fireplace in her own flat. She smiled as she looked around. Nothing had changed. It was wonderful to be home.

"_Lily_!"

Lily nearly jumped out of her skin. "Goodness, Dana! You scared me to death!"

"I'm sorry!" Dana giggled as she ran toward her friend. "I wanted to show you what Aidan gave me for Christmas!"

"All right, let's see it, then" Lily agreed. "Did he get you the necklace you wanted? The one that you showed him about twelve times in the past two months?"

"No."

"No?" Lily laughed. "You don't seem nearly disappointed enough!"

"It's even better than that necklace! Look at this!" Dana exclaimed, flinging her left hand out in front of Lily's face.

Lily gasped. "Dana! Is that --?"

"Yes! Aidan asked me to marry him! We're engaged!"

"Dana!" Lily cried. She threw her arms around her friend, hugging her tightly. "I can't believe it! When did he ask? Does Olivia know? What did your parents think?"

Dana giggled again. "I guess I'll have to field those one at a time. First, Olivia hasn't come back yet, so she doesn't know."

"She's going to be so upset that she didn't find out first!"

"I know. But she'll get over it."

"What about your parents? Were they excited?"

"Incredibly," Dana smiled. "They adore Aidan."

"Here, sit down and tell me about how he asked."

"Well, he asked me on Christmas Eve."

"Cute!"

"It was. My family always opens presents on Christmas Eve, so everyone was there. Aidan insisted that I should open his last, and when I finally got to it, he gave me a necklace box. Of course, I was thrilled, thinking that it was the necklace that I wanted. But, when I opened it, it was empty. So, I looked up to ask him what was going on, and he was down on one knee! In front of my entire family! Of course, I started crying right away, and he got a little teary, but he got the question asked in the end. So, there we were, both of us in tears, and my mother busted out her camera!"

Lily giggled. "I'll bet she took a million pictures."

Dana picked up a box from the coffee table. "Take a look."

Laughing again, Lily opened the box. As she was beginning to flip through the pictures, Olivia came in.

"Hey, girls!" she exclaimed. "What have I missed?"

Lily looked to Dana, who jumped out of her seat to show her ring to Olivia.

* * *

"Well, I guess that just leaves me," Olivia commented. "All the rest of you are engaged."

It was much later, and Dana's ring and pictures had been thoroughly admired. The three girls were lounging together in their flat, eating leftover Christmas cookies and drinking peppermint hot chocolate.

"That's not true," Lily argued. "Laura isn't engaged, either."

"And neither are Remus, or Peter, or . . . Well, I guess it's sort of ridiculous to say Sirius, isn't it?" Dana giggled.

Olivia rolled her eyes, and took a sip of her drink. "Be serious, girls. Laura and Remus are practically engaged!"

"But they aren't _actually_ engaged," Lily said. "And that puts them on the same level as you and Sirius."

"Well, Peter doesn't count, then," Olivia said. "He hasn't dated anyone since Kathleen."

"I feel horrible for him," Dana said quietly. "He lost so much when she died."

Olivia looked down, then up again. "I still miss her," she said softly. "Kathleen was such a wonderful person, and so full of life. It's not fair that she's gone."

"You know," Lily almost whispered, "sometimes, I still have trouble believing that she _is_ gone. When I was Christmas shopping a couple weeks ago, I saw this barrette that reminded me of the ones she always wore in her hair. I was going to buy it for her. I actually had it in my hand before I remembered . . . I can't buy her Christmas presents anymore."

All three girls were silent for a moment, thinking of their fallen friend. It was Dana who broke the silence.

"Does it ever make you scared – what we're doing? I mean, the Death Eaters killed Kathleen, and they're the same people that we fight with the Order. Isn't it a little scary?"

"If you aren't a little afraid, you probably shouldn't be doing this," Olivia said quietly. "We face death all the time. If that doesn't scare you, there's something wrong with you."

"I don't know," Dana sighed, her face contorting slightly. "I guess it's just that now, with Aidan and I being engaged, I'm looking at things differently."

"Dana," Lily said slowly, "you aren't thinking about leaving the Order, are you?"

Dana looked at Lily for several moments, while an uncomfortable silence fell over them. It was broken by a burst of light. All three girls jumped up as a golden phoenix feather fell down on the coffee table. Olivia picked up the accompanying slip of parchment.

"It says to Apparate to this address immediately," she said tensely. "We'd better take our wands."

* * *

The scene that met their eyes was one of a battle. Death Eaters swarmed about the neighborhood they had arrived in, torturing wizards and Muggles alike. Screams and bursts of light filled the air. Lily looked around her in horror. How could anyone create this scene of destruction, death, and chaos? Footsteps approached them, and the girls looked up to see Frank Longbottom coming toward them.

"We're trying to control the situation right now," he said as he reached them, his face emotionless. "We need to take care of anyone who's injured, and to modify the memories of all the Muggles. There are Death Eaters everywhere, so stopping them is our first priority. Stun any of them that you see, but don't kill them unless it comes down to your life or theirs. We need them for questioning. Make sure you work with a partner. I don't want anyone caught alone in this."

Olivia felt herself slipping into Auror mode as the emotion left her own face. "I'll go with Dana," she said quickly. "Lily, you can –"

"Stay with me," Laura said from right beside them.

"Where did you come from?" Lily asked.

"I just Apparated," she replied. "Come on. Let's go over to that house."

Lily nodded, and followed her friend toward the house in question. They couldn't see any lights inside, save for the occasional flash that indicated spells being thrown.

"Did Remus come with you?" Lily asked as they walked.

"We both went home this morning. I assume he came over with the guys," Laura replied. They reached back of the house, and she raised her wand. "Ready?"

"Ready."

Laura opened the door. Moving as silently as possible, the girls entered the house through the kitchen. Based on this room, they had entered a wizarding house. It was still and silent. The girls glanced at one another, and held their unlit wands out. They knew they couldn't light them and risk drawing attention to themselves. It was so quiet in the house. Too quiet.

Lily held her breath, listening to the silence. Then, she heard it: a murmur that sounded like an incantation. She turned quickly to her right, and saw a flash of light. She looked back a Laura, and motioned for her to follow. Laura nodded, and the girls crept toward the swinging door, unsure of what lay beyond.

They inched toward the dining room, pushing the door open slowly and silently. As they moved closer, a new sound reached Lily's ears. It sounded like someone was crying. Her heart twisted. Who could do that to an innocent person? Who would want to make someone cry?

"Please, don't" an unknown voice whispered. "Please, have mercy. Have mercy!"

"_Crucio_."

Still holding her breath, Lily swung around the corner. The sight nearly took her breath away. A woman was kneeling on the floor, rocking back and forth as she sobbed. Her eyes were wide as she looked to her left. Lily's eyes followed hers, and saw a small child, most likely only three or four years old, shaking in pain. A scream escaped his lips, followed by a strangled cry from his mother. Lily was sure that those two sounds would haunt her forever. She looked quickly around, trying to find the one who was casting the curse. Her eyes fell on the masked Death Eater, and she didn't even stop to think.

"_STUPEFY_!"

The Death Eater fell to the floor in a heap. Lily put him in a full body bind, and rushed forward. Laura followed her, pointing her wand at every corner of the room.

"Are you all right?" Lily asked, touching the woman's shoulder.

"Check Elton," she sobbed. "Please, is he all right? I tried to protect him, but they wouldn't stop – they bound me here, and I can't move! I couldn't help him!"

While Lily went to pick up the little boy, Laura waved her wand, undoing the invisible bonds around the woman's wrists and ankles. She flexed her joints, and rushed toward her son.

"Elton? Can you hear me, sweetie?"

"You said 'they,'" Laura said. "How many were there?"

"Three," the woman replied, taking Elton from Lily.

"Three," Laura repeated. She looked down at the little boy that was now in his mother's arms. "Is he all right?"

Lily shook her head. "He's completely out, but he's still breathing. I don't know what to do for him. We need Dana or Remus."

Laura nodded. "We need to find the other two Death Eaters, Lil."

"I know. But one of us needs to get them out of here. Elton really needs medical attention. And we can't search the house alone."

"What are we going to do?"

Soft footsteps sounded in the kitchen. Lily and Laura were facing the door with wands raised in an instant. Lily's heart was pounding, but her wand was very steady. Whoever was there, she was ready for them.

"Lil? Laura?"

Lily nearly laughed in relief. "James?"

"Thank goodness," he sighed, coming fully into the room. "Longbottom told us this is where you were, and when we saw all the light coming out of the house, I was sent in to investigate."

"We're fine," Lily said quickly. "And our friend over there isn't going anywhere fast. But this little one and his mother need some medical attention."

James nodded. "Remus and Dana have already set up a medical tent outside. Let's get them out there."

"Wait," Laura said quickly. "There's still two Death Eaters in this house somewhere."

James nodded slowly. "Right. Laura, you take them out to Remus and Dana, and Lily and I will find the Death Eaters."

"Are you sure?" Laura asked.

"Yes," James replied. "Go quickly, and be careful. There's still plenty of Death Eaters outside."

"I'll be careful," Laura promised. She helped the woman to her feet, and led her toward the kitchen.

The woman turned around, and looked at Lily. "Thank you so much," she said, her eyes moving to take in all three young Order members. "Without you, I don't know where we'd be right now."

"You're welcome," Lily said, giving her a smile.

"If there's anything I can do . . ."

"Just take care of yourself and Elton," Lily replied. "Go with Laura. We'll be fine."

Laura ushered the woman and her still-unconscious son into the kitchen. Just before she left the room, Laura turned back to Lily and James. "You two be careful, too."

"We will," Lily promised.

Laura nodded again, and followed the woman out of sight. Lily looked back to James.

"Let's search down here first."

They moved silently into the next room, the foyer. Like the kitchen, it was silent and empty. They exchanged a glance, and a thumbs-up, their signal that the room was clear.

There was only one room left on the first floor, the sitting room. Lily and James moved toward it. Lily's heart began to pound again. If the Death Eaters were still on the first floor, they were in this room. She and James each stood on one side of the archway, holding their breath. They exchanged one last nod, and slid around the corner, into the room.

The Death Eaters were waiting.

"_STUPEFY_!"

Lily dodged the jet of light, and flung her own wand out in front of her.

"_Expelliarmus_!" she yelled in the direction of the Death Eater.

The Death Eater threw himself to the floor, waving his wand at Lily as he fell. Her spell went over his head, but his hit her. She hadn't heard the incantation, and wasn't sure what spell he had used, but found herself bleeding. She grabbed her arm, which had been cut. Blood began to stain her robes.

"_Impedimenta_!" she cried.

The Death Eater dodged that spell as well. "_Reducto_!" he yelled.

Lily jumped out of the way just in time, not wanting to know what exactly that curse would have done to her. She looked around wildly, and found her target again.

"_Expelliarmus_!" she yelled again.

This time, her curse struck her mark. The Death Eater she had been fighting flew backward, his wand soaring high in the air. Lily ran forward, and put yet another Death Eater into a full body bind. She grabbed the wand he had used, tucking it into her pocket.

"Lil! Heads up!"

Lily jerked out of the way as another spell rushed toward her.

"_Stupefy_!" James yelled.

The Death Eater fell forward, and James quickly bound him. He looked over at Lily.

"You said there were only two more?"

"That we know of," she agreed.

"What happened to your arm?" James cried, watching as the red blood seeped through her blue robes.

"I'm not sure," she said. "I don't know what curse it was."

James touched his wand to her arm, muttering a healing charm. The bleeding stopped as the wound healed itself. Lily looked at James with a grateful smile.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome," James replied, running his hand through his hair. "We need to get Longbottom and Moody over here. Can you shoot green sparks above the house?"

"Sure."

Lily stepped outside through the front door, and aimed her wand into the air, shooting the green sparks. They hovered above the house, marking an area that held bound Death Eaters. The sounds of battle – the screams and shrieks of pain, the running footsteps, the slamming of bodies, and the shouted spells – rang in her ears. She wondered how many Death Eaters were there in all. Frank hadn't told them. By the sound of it, they wouldn't see anyone from the Order anytime soon.

Then again, maybe she was wrong. She heard footsteps coming toward her, and, expecting to see the Aurors, turned to her left.

"Miss Evans," a high-pitched voice spoke softly, "we meet again."

Lily's smile slid off her face, and her heart jumped into her throat. Lord Voldemort stood before her.

"I had hoped to see you again," he said. "I don't think we parted on the best of terms the last time we met."

Hot anger rushed through Lily as she remembered the last time she had seen this man. Her eyes began to snap. "How dare you speak of the last time we met?"

"Ah, you remember it. I'm touched."

"I only remember it because of what happened to my parents," Lily hissed, realizing that what she was doing was probably the stupidest thing she had ever done. Even so, she couldn't stop herself. "I wouldn't remember it because of _you_. What do I care about a pathetic little man like you?"

James appeared in the doorway. "Lil," he muttered. "What are you doing?"

"You will show respect!" Voldemort shrieked. He raised his wand, pointing it straight at Lily. "_Imperio_."

A relaxed, dreamy feeling filled Lily's being. She remembered this feeling somewhere in the back of her mind, but she couldn't remember where. She only knew that she didn't want it to end.

"Come here, Lily," Voldemort said in a sick, twisted whisper. "Come closer, and let me teach you the proper way to speak to one such as myself."

"NO!" James yelled, rushing forward. "You leave her alone, you sick bastard!"

Voldemort turned to him, fury in the back of his eyes. "Of course. Mr. Potter. You are rarely away from your fiancée, are you?"

James' face registered surprise at the fact that Voldemort knew of their relationship. For some reason, this seemed to delight the Dark Lord.

"Oh, yes, I know all about your relationship," he said softly. "I know everything about you, James. And I know that right now, the last thing you want is to see your girlfriend at my mercy, but that's exactly where she is."

"We'll see about that!" James growled. He raised his wand, ready to use a curse – any curse – to make Voldemort leave Lily alone.

Voldemort smiled slightly, and waved his wand. James was hurtled backward, and thrown into the side of the house. He moaned as he struck the house, and slid down the wall to the ground.

"Watch, Lily," Voldemort commanded. "Watch your boyfriend suffer."

Lily obediently turned her head. Once he was sure she was watching, Voldemort waved his wand again. James' arms flew backward, and smacked against the house. Heavy iron shackles appeared, binding him to the house by his wrists.

James looked helplessly at Lily. "Fight it, Lily," he said fiercely. "I know you can. Fight it. Fight, Lily! _Fight_!"

"Did I give you permission to speak?" Voldemort asked, his eyes narrowing. "Perhaps you both need to learn respect today. Once you have learned your lessons, naturally, you will be killed. We have no use for such disrespectful people in our world. Lily, use the Cruciatus curse on James."

Lily raised her wand. Then, in the corners of her mind, she recognized James. He was staring at her. He was in pain – he was hurt. What was she supposed to do?

"Say _crucio_, Lily."

_No_.

"Say it, Lily. Cast the spell!"

_No_.

"Cast the spell!"

_NO_!

"CAST THE SPELL! USE THE CRUCIATUS!"

"_NO_!" Lily screamed.

The Imperius Curse was lifted. The feeling of relaxation was gone. The dream-like state had disappeared. Everything came rushing back to her. She was standing before Voldemort. James was shackled to the side of a house. Voldemort was going to kill them both.

"Oh, Lily," Voldemort hissed. "How very, very disappointing. Good help is _so_ hard to find anymore." He pointed his own wand at James. "_Crucio_."

James fell as far forward as the shackles would allow, shrieking in pain. As the sounds of his screams filled her ears, Lily ran forward. She had to do something. She had to save James.

"NO!" she screamed. She pointed her wand at Voldemort. "_Impedimenta_!"

The spell had the desired affect; Voldemort lifted the Cruciatus. He turned to Lily, his eyes gleaming. Something about his eyes terrified Lily. Once again, her heart began to pound as Voldemort raised his wand, pointing it at her.

The last thing Lily remembered seeing was a jet of red light.

* * *

"Green sparks," Moody commented. He looked at Olivia and Sirius, who had just bound two Death Eaters. "Black, everything's under control right here. Go collect the Death Eaters from that house."

"All right," Sirius agreed.

"Alexander, come with me," Moody said, motioning for Olivia to follow him. "We have quite a few more Death Eaters to stop."

Sirius gave Olivia a slight smile, and took off for the house in question. He wasn't sure who had gone in to deal with this house. He went in through the back door, which was swinging open. Holding his wand in front of him, he moved cautiously through the house. He found one Death Eater in the dining room, and was about to create a Portkey to send him to the Ministry of Magic, when a horrific shriek filled his ears. He jumped up, and raced to the front of the house.

"Stop! Stop it, you sadistic – AUGH!"

Sirius' heart pounded in his ears. That tortured cry – that sounded horribly like James. He threw the door open, and bounded outside. James was writhing on the ground, screaming in agony. Sirius looked up to see who was casting the spell, and felt his heart stop. He was standing in front of Voldemort.

James screamed again. That was all it took.

"_CRUCIO_!" Sirius bellowed, pointing his wand straight at Voldemort.

The Dark Lord screamed, and the curse on James was broken. Sirius glanced to his right, and saw his friend slump over, his hands still shackled to the side of the house. His moment of inattention was enough. He suddenly felt unbearable pain shoot through his body as Voldemort cursed him. He broke the curse, and smiled malevolently at Sirius.

"Mr. Black. I should have known that you would come to your friends' aid."

"You bastard!" Sirius yelled.

All rational thought was gone. Sirius did the only thing he could think of, and began to run through his repertoire of curses and hexes, all learned to torment Snape. He threw them at Voldemort one after the other, trying to do some damage to the Dark Lord.

"_Crucio_!" Voldemort yelled, stopping the flow of spells from Sirius' mouth.

Sirius shrieked in pain. He couldn't do this alone anymore. He needed help. He needed help. He needed help.

He finally managed to raise his wand. Trying desperately to think clearly through the pain, he aimed his wand at the sky, and shot up red sparks.

Within ten seconds, five Order members had Apparated to his side. Voldemort gave a shriek of frustration.

"Damn you! I'm not through with any of you!"

"_STUPEFY_!" yelled five voices.

But it was too late. Voldemort was gone.

Sirius struggled to stand, and went to James. He waved his wand, undoing the shackles that held him to the house. James' arms fell limply to his sides.

"My, God, James," Sirius muttered. "What did that bastard do to you?"

"Black!" Dorcas Meadows yelled. "What did he do to Evans?"

"Lily?" Sirius questioned blankly. "I thought only James was here."

Dorcas shook her head. "Lily's over here. He got both of them."

Numb with shock and horror, Sirius sank to his knees.

* * *

"Do you think they'll be all right?"

Sirius looked down at Olivia, who was curled up against him in the waiting room of St. Mungo's. "Yes."

"You seem very sure," Peter said, running his hands over his face.

"They can get through this," Sirius said firmly, his eyes glittering with determination. "James and Lily are two of the strongest people I know. They – they'll make it. They have to make it."

Anguish filled the faces of the four friends in the waiting room. After Sirius and the other Order members had saved James and Lily, they had been rushed to the hospital. Remus, Dana, and the Potters were in the examining room with them. Sirius, Peter, Olivia, and Laura were left alone to wait.

"This is awful," Peter muttered. He began to pace the small waiting area.

"Wormtail, is that doing them any good?" Sirius sighed.

"No," Peter admitted. "But it's giving me something to do."

Laura watched him for a moment before tears gathered in her eyes. Several ran down her face before she could stop them.

"Hey," Olivia said in a choked voice. "Don't start that, or I'll be right there with you."

"I'm sorry," Laura whispered, wiping at her eyes. "It's just . . . I was there! I was right there with Lily, and then I took those people to Remus and Dana, and . . . _I_ should be the one who's fighting for her life, not them!"

"Laura, it isn't your fault," Olivia said, her own tears beginning to fall. "There's no way you could have known what was going to happen. Voldemort has it in for Lily and James. I don't know why, but . . ."

"Because they fight him," Sirius said firmly. "He has it in for every single one of us. Lily and James just tend to get in his way more often than we do, that's all. He would have gone for any of us just as easily as them. He didn't think twice about going after me when I showed up."

Olivia shivered at the thought of Sirius fighting Voldemort, and touched his bruised face. "Did you have someone look you over?"

"I'm fine."

"Sirius, you dueled with –"

"I said I'm fine!" Sirius nearly shouted.

Peter stopped pacing. "I can't take this anymore," he said. "It's too much. I'm sorry –"

And with that, he Disapparated.

"What was that all about?" Laura exclaimed.

Sirius sighed. "Peter doesn't always handle stress that well. He'll be back. Just give him some time alone."

* * *

Peter was far from alone. He Apparated into his parents' kitchen. His father was in the room, making coffee.

"Peter!" he exclaimed in surprise. "I thought you were helping your friends fight the losing battle!"

"I was," Peter said shortly.

"Well, don't let me stop you. If you need to fight against the inevitable, go right ahead."

Peter shook his head. "Tell me something, Dad."

"What?"

"Tell me why two of my friends – two of the best people I know – are currently lying in St. Mungo's fighting for their lives. You keep saying that the strong will survive, and that the best wizards will be left to create this new society, but if James Potter and Lily Evans die, that isn't the case! You know as well as I do that the Potters are one of the oldest, most powerful wizarding families in Great Britain! And Lily can match James in every way. Without them, the wizarding world will suffer, and suffer greatly. We need James and Lily – _I_ need James and Lily! They're my friends, Dad! If you're so right, and I'm so wrong, then why are they on the brink of death?"

"Because they're foolish," Mr. Pettigrew said harshly. "James Potter was foolish enough to fall in love with a Muggle-born witch, and they were both foolish enough to think that they could challenge the Dark Lord. Oh, yes, Peter I've already heard about what happened. James and Lily may be talented wizards, but they haven't made the right decisions in life. And their current situation tells me that they are paying the consequences of their decisions." He gave his son a hard look. "Is that what you want to have happen to you? Do you want to wind up in a hospital bed, fighting for your own life? Do you want to put your mother through the torment of watching you die?"

"Of course not," Peter said quickly. "I'd never to anything to hurt Mum."

"But you are," Mr. Pettigrew said, his voice soft and urgent. "Every day that you continue to fight against the Dark Lord, you are putting yourself in mortal peril. Every time that you leave the house, your mother prays that you will return safely. And you choose to put her through that, Peter. You value your friends above your family, and you side with them."

"I don't want to hurt Mum," Peter said again. "I don't want to be in danger. That's why I'm fighting with Dumbledore."

"Dumbledore couldn't save your friends from danger, could he? He couldn't save Kathleen's life, could he? What makes you think he could keep you out of danger?"

Peter looked out the window. He couldn't formulate a reply.

"You have to think, Peter. You have to use your brain. The Dark Lord is quickly taking over. What are you gaining by fighting against him?"

Again, Peter didn't reply.

* * *

"Do we have any idea of exactly what happened?"

Moody looked up at Dumbledore. "Not yet. It was Black who saved them in the end. He called in the Order, but he was the one who found them, and who deserves the credit for saving them. He took quite a few curses himself before it was over. Dueled with the Dark Lord. Without him, I don't want to think about where Potter and Evans would be right now."

Dumbledore nodded. "The bond between Mr. Black and Mr. Potter has always been very strong. I'm not surprised that he risked his life for them."

Moody nodded. "Between the three of them, they nearly managed to bring down the Dark Lord." He glanced at the closed door of James and Lily's room. "It's a damn shame they didn't become Aurors."

Dumbledore smiled slightly. "Based on what they've done with the Order, how exactly do they differ from Aurors?"

Moody considered him for a moment, then pulled his jagged face into a smile. "They didn't attend the Academy with me. I'll suggest to them that they should when they come out of this." He looked back at the closed door, falling into his thoughts.

"I think I would like to speak with Mr. Black," Dumbledore said thoughtfully. "Perhaps he can shed some light onto what exactly transpired this evening."

"He's in the waiting area with the others," Moody offered.

Dumbledore nodded, and walked toward the waiting area. Hopefully, Sirius would be ready to talk about his experience.

* * *

"Why haven't they told us anything yet?" Laura asked, wringing her hands together. She looked at the clock from her seat on the floor, leaning against a wall. "It's been almost two hours! Remus said he'd come and get us as soon as he knew anything!"

"He will. They'll be fine," Sirius said for what felt like the thousandth time.

Laura looked at Sirius with disbelief. "How can you say that so easily? We don't even know what curses he used on them!"

"I know that," Sirius snapped. "I was there, remember?"

"Sirius," Olivia murmured, placing a soothing hand against his cheek. "Please calm down. I know it was difficult to tell Dumbledore what happened –"

"Difficult?" Sirius exclaimed. "_Difficult_?"

Fortunately, the girls were saved from Sirius' temper by Peter, who walked slowly into the waiting area. Sirius looked at him, a slight smile crossing his face.

"I knew you'd be back."

Peter tried to smile and failed. "I just . . ."

"You don't have to explain," Olivia said gently. "It's hard for all of us to be here."

Peter smiled at her, and sat down across from her and Sirius. Silence fell over the four friends, who turned their attention once again to the clock.

"Guys?"

Four heads snapped up as Remus and Dana entered the waiting area. Sirius, Peter, and Olivia all stood from their seats, and Laura scrambled to her feet.

"How are they, Moony?" Sirius asked, his voice tight.

Remus smiled slightly. "They'll live," he said.

"They're going to take a week or so to recover, but they'll be just fine in the end," Dana added, smiling in relief.

"They did it, guys," Remus said, running his hand through his hair. "They beat Voldemort."

"Again," Sirius said, a wide grin breaking out across his face. "They're the two luckiest people in the world."

"Say it again, Remus," Laura implored, hanging onto his arm. "I need to hear it again to believe it."

Remus grinned. "They'll be fine."

It was the news they had been praying to hear. All six friends came together in a many-armed hug, laughing and crying. Relief was the only emotion they could feel. Wonderful, freeing relief.


	16. Everything Changes

A/N: Okay, so, obviously, by Tuesday I meant Thursday! I am so sorry, guys! I have a summer job, and it has kept me incredibly busy this week. I do plan to have the next chapter out by Sunday. Just as a heads up, I'm leaving for vacation on Monday, and I'll be gone for two weeks. So, after the next chapter, you won't see anything from me until August!

This chapter was a lot of fun to write, and I really hope you like it. Some of the humor is naughtier than I usually write, but I think it fits with the situations. Let me know what you think!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Everything Changes

"Lily? Lils, can you hear me?"

Lily swallowed, and struggled to open her eyes. She finally managed to open them, and squinted up at Dana, whose face broke into a beaming, relieved smile.

"Welcome back," she grinned. "You've been out for quite awhile. We've been worried about you, girl."

A thousand questions swirled through Lily's mind, but only one really mattered. She swallowed again.

"James?" she asked thickly.

Dana sat down on the edge of Lily's bed, and took her hand. "James is fine," she said.

Relief filled Lily's being, and her face relaxed. James was fine.

"He took the Cruciatus at least twice, but he's making a great recovery. In fact, he's probably going to be released tomorrow."

"How long . . .?" Lily didn't have the strength to finish the question.

"Don't try to talk yet," Dana said, stroking her brow. "You've been in here for three days. You've had quite a few people rather worried. No one knows for sure what curse was used on you. We've been treating your symptoms, which seems to have worked for us." She grinned again. "I'm so glad to have you back, Lils. Everyone's going to be so happy to see you awake again."

The door to Lily's room opened, and Remus walked in. He stopped short at the sight of Dana sitting on Lily's bed. Dana turned to him with a grin.

"She's awake!" she exclaimed.

Remus grinned. "Thank God." He crossed the room, and went to the other side of Lily's bed, pointing his wand at her and muttering spells to check her vital signs. "James is going to be so relieved."

"Can . . . I . . . James . . ."

Dana placed a finger over Lily's mouth. "Don't talk," she said again. She looked up at Remus. "Can we bring James in here to see her?"

"_Presion_," Remus muttered. He moved his wand tip from Lily to the chart he carried. While his wand recorded Lily's blood pressure, he looked at Dana. "I think that if we make James wait one more minute to see her, he'll hex us both into next year," he grinned.

Dana smiled. "I'll go get him."

Remus nodded his agreement, and pointed his wand at Lily again. "_Temperatura_."

Lily submitted to Remus' ministrations without comment. All she wanted was to see James, and she was sure that Remus couldn't do anything to speed that process. It wouldn't do her any good to yell at him; it would probably just drain her of what little energy she had.

The door opened again, and Dana appeared, leading James and Sirius. Sirius looked determined to help James, who was just as determined to not accept his friend's assistance. James' eyes lit up when he saw Lily. Remus moved aside, and Sirius and Dana remained by the door as James crossed the room. He stopped at Lily's bedside, just looking at her for a moment. His eyes were bright with unshed tears.

"Thank God," he muttered.

He leaned down, and pulled her into a tight embrace, crushing her against his chest. He kissed her hair and her face again and again.

"I'm fine," Lily whispered.

"Of course you are," James said softly, pulling back to look at her. "I love you so much, Lily."

"I love you, too," she whispered.

He looked at her again, as if trying to memorize her face. Then, a beaming smile breaking out across his own face, he leaned down to kiss her lips.

* * *

True to Dana's word, the Healers released James the next day. He returned to St. Mungo's every day for the next week, visiting Lily. Because the Healers weren't sure exactly what curse had been used against her, it took them longer to treat her. Once she was awake and able to talk to them, her treatment was easier, but still time-consuming.

Lily didn't lack for visitors during her stint at the hospital. Dana and Remus came to see her on their breaks from training at the hospital. James and Laura came every day after work, and Sirius and Olivia stopped by when their classes ended. Mr. and Mrs. Potter also visited almost every day. Minnie, Elaine, and several of Lily's other friends from the Daily Prophet came during the week to check up on her.

Finally, at long last, Lily was declared strong enough to leave the hospital. James came to talk her home, greeting her with a beaming smile.

"Are you glad to be leaving?" he grinned.

"You have no idea," she smiled. "I can't wait to get back to my normal life again!"

James grinned again. "Well, I think I have the perfect place to start."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes. House hunting."

"James!" Lily exclaimed, her eyes lighting up. "When can we go?"

"Definitely not today," James said firmly. "We're not going until you're strong enough."

"We were supposed to start so long ago," Lily said, biting her lower lip. She smiled slightly. "Your mother must have had a fit."

"She had bigger issues to worry about," James said softly. He touched Lily's hair, brushing it back from her face. "And so did I. Do you realize how lucky we are, Lil? I nearly lost you, and here we are, talking about finding a house." He drew a shaky breath. "When I woke up, and asked Remus and Dana about you . . . When they told me that no one was sure what had happened to you . . . I was so scared, Lily. I was so scared that I'd never see you again."

Lily nodded. "That's all I've thought about all week. We came too close to the end, James. When I saw you there, screaming as that curse hit you, all I could think was that I had to stop Voldemort, because I couldn't lose you. I mean it, James. I can't live without you." Tears filled her eyes as she nearly whispered the last words.

"Stop it," James said, wiping away the tears that fell. "We both need to stop thinking that way. You're never going to have to live without me. I'm never going to leave you, and you're never going to leave me. We're in this together, Lil, and that's how we're always going to be."

Lily smiled through her tears. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

* * *

"So you're both taking an entire day off for this?"

"Yes," Lily replied, pouring tea into her cup. "I think that finding a house definitely merits a day off work."

Olivia smiled as she buttered her toast. "It'll never happen for me. Moody doesn't understand anything but work. I don't think he even considers that we need a place to stay when we leave the Academy at the end of the day."

Dana looked at Lily critically. "And you're sure you're ready for this?"

"Dana, I've been home for a week!" Lily exclaimed in exasperation. "You're worse than a mother! Yes, I'm _sure_ that I'm ready!"

"All right, I believe you!" Dana laughed, holding up her hands to stop Lily's tirade.

Lily laughed. "I'm glad I won't live with a Healer-in-training after the wedding."

At her words, both Dana's and Olivia's faces fell. Lily, too, sobered once she realized what she had said.

"Wait, I didn't mean that the way it . . . Oh, man, that was harsh. I'm sorry girls."

"Don't apologize," Dana said quickly. "You should rather live with James than with us. That's the way it's supposed to be. He's the one you're marrying. He's the one you're going to spend the rest of your life with."

Lily smiled. "Yeah, he is. Can't you just see us, all old and wrinkled, sitting in rocking chairs, yelling at kids to get off our yard?"

Olivia laughed. "Yeah, and the old and wrinkled version of Sirius will pay them to run across your yard just to annoy you!"

"He would," Dana laughed. "And he'll probably give them some dung bombs or other Zonko's product to throw as they pass."

"And our grandchildren will grumble that Sirius is the only one who really remembers what it was like to be a kid," Lily added with a giggle. "But our grandkids will all be friends, right?"

"Of course," Dana replied promptly. "So will our children."

"Naturally," Olivia said. "They'll be best friends, just like we are."

A pop sounded as James appeared. He smiled as he looked around at the girls.

"Good morning, lovelies," he said cheerfully.

"Good morning, slacker," Olivia said playfully.

James made a face at her. "Hey, we may not go to work today, but I have a feeling we're certainly going to work. This house hunting stuff can be brutal."

"I still say you're a slacker," Olivia said with a shake of her head. "But you two had better get out of here. You have _work_ to do."

Lily laughed. "This is a tough crowd this morning, James. You don't want to stick around with them."

"Well, we have an appointment anyway," James smiled. "Come on, beautiful."

Lily smiled. "Bye, girls. I'll be home in time for dinner tonight."

"Good," Olivia replied. "We'll see you then – and you had better have found a house!"

Shaking her head, Lily Disapparated with James at her side. Olivia turned to Dana.

"Are you ready to put our plans into motion?"

"Oh, you know it!"

"Great. So, Lily's going to be home by six or so . . . Should we meet back here at four?"

"I'll be here."

By noon, Lily and James were completely frustrated. They hadn't found a house they considered livable, and weren't too excited about the prospects ahead of them. They decided to stop in a café in Diagon Alley for lunch before continuing.

"We could always look in Muggle neighborhoods," Lily said as they finished their sandwiches. "We both grew up in Muggle neighborhoods without any awful consequences."

James nodded slowly. "I suppose. I just always pictured my kids growing up in a wizarding neighborhood. And I guess I really like living in Diagon Alley. There's so much more happening here than there ever was in the neighborhood I lived in when I was a kid."

Lily nodded. "Yeah, I feel the same way – at least the part about living in Diagon Alley. I have to admit, when I was a little girl, I never once thought of my kids growing up in a wizarding neighborhood."

"Honestly," James smiled in mock exasperation. "No, I suppose you wouldn't have." He glanced at his watch, and pushed his chair back from the table. "We'd better get going. Our next appointment is in fifteen minutes, and it'll take us about that long to walk there."

Lily nodded, and placed her napkin on the table. "I hope this next house is nicer than the ones we saw this morning."

"So do I," James said with feeling. "Come on, we need to go this way."

As soon as they arrived at the house, Lily fell in love with it. It was a modest, two-story red brick home, surrounded by a wrought-iron fence. Black shutters framed the windows; the lower windows were underscored by flowerboxes. Even though it was the middle of winter, Lily could picture flowers spilling from them. She could visualize James walking up the path to the front door, and, with a slight flush to her cheeks, children playing in the front yard. As James opened the gate for Lily, she turned to look at him with a guarded expression. She didn't want to get her hopes up too soon.

"You're sure this is the right address, right?"

"Positive."

"And it's within our budget?"

"If it wasn't, do you think we'd be here right now?"

Lily smiled. "I love it already."

"Well, put that love on hold until we see the inside," James grinned. "If there are rats running around the kitchen, we're going to have to keep looking."

"There won't be," Lily said confidently as they walked up to the door. "This feels like _home_, doesn't it?"

"I'm still a little wary," James replied with a smile.

A realtor opened the door for them, and smiled at the young couple.

"You must be Miss Evans and Mr. Potter," she smiled. "I'm Nancy. Come in and let me show you around."

When they walked through the front door, even James was impressed. The foyer was smaller than the one in his parents' home, but the hardwood floor and open staircase gave it an airy feel. As they continued walking, they discovered that the entire first floor had hardwood floors. Lily looked up at James with starry eyes. She loved hardwood floors. He grinned down at her. She was right. This house was beginning to feel like _home_.

"Here's the kitchen," Nancy said, opening the door for them. "As you can see, there's plenty of workspace in here – I don't know if you enjoy cooking, but if you do, you're going to love working in this room."

Lily began to inspect the room, and gave James a pointed look. "No sign of rats."

"Oh, you won't find any rodents in this house!" Nancy exclaimed. "The previous owners were meticulous!"

James and Lily both laughed, and Nancy looked at them in confusion. When neither of them offered an explanation, she tried to smile again.

"Shall we look around upstairs?"

Three bedrooms graced the second floor of the house. These rooms were carpeted, but the hall was not. Lily looked at James again, and he grinned down at her.

"Well, I'm sure you need some time to think about it," Nancy said as they made their way downstairs again. "I'll give you my card, and you can get in touch with me when you've made you decision."

"I don't think that will be necessary," James said, his eyes never leaving Lily's face. "When we can start the paperwork?"

Lily gave an ecstatic cry, and flung her arms around James. He held her tightly, kissing the top of her head. Nancy watched with a smile tugging at her lips. They really were a very sweet couple.

"Did that really happen?" Lily asked as she and James walked away from the house, their hands tightly clasped together. "Did we really just find a house?"

"I think we did," James replied, still grinning. "We still have a long way to go with all the paperwork and loan agreements, though. There are loads of things that need to be approved before it's really our house. We won't be able to move in tomorrow."

"I should think not," Lily replied primly. "We aren't married yet!"

James laughed. "Details, details."

"James Potter!"

Lily looked around quickly. "Who said that?"

James laughed, and pulled a mirror from his pocket. Lily recognized it as the mirror he had used to call Sirius to their aid at Petunia's wedding. Once again, Sirius' face was in the mirror where James' should have been reflected.

"Hey, Padfoot," James said easily.

"You really need to get home," Sirius said.

"Why?" James asked, his voice tight with concern. "What happened?"

Sirius sighed. "It's just . . . Well, I mean, Peter's here and everything . . . It's really . . . You'd better get here like yesterday, mate."

"What happened?" James asked again.

"Just get here!" Sirius exclaimed, his face disappearing from the mirror.

"Shit," James muttered. "I'd better go home. I'm sorry, Lil."

"We can talk later," Lily said quickly. "Go take care of your friends, James."

"Thanks, love." He leaned over to kiss her, then Disapparated.

Lily continued on her way alone. She made it back to her flat, and let herself in. Dana, Olivia, and Laura were all gathered in the sitting room.

"What are you guys doing here?" Lily asked.

"Oh, that's nice," Olivia grinned.

"I'm sorry," Lily smiled. "I guess I'm just surprised to see you all, that's all. Surprised in a good way, of course."

"Well, prepare to continue with the surprises," Dana grinned. "We have plans for tonight, Miss Lily."

"What are you talking about?" Lily asked.

"You can't wear that," Laura smiled, touching the sleeve of Lily's robes.

"What's wrong with this?" Lily asked.

"No, you can't wear that at all," Olivia said, picking up a bag. "You'd better wear this."

"What's going on?" Lily laughed, pulling a miniskirt from the bag.

"We're going out," Olivia said, her eyes shining. "It's high time you had a bachelorette party."

* * *

"What's wrong?" James asked as soon as he Apparated into his flat.

"Who said something was wrong?" Sirius asked with an innocent expression.

"You did!" James exclaimed.

"No, I didn't," Sirius said calmly. "I merely said that you should come home. I never said that something was wrong."

James looked around, and saw Remus and Peter coming into the room. He ran his hand through his hair distractedly.

"What's going on, guys?"

"We're going out," Sirius said, his expression changing from innocent to excited. "Prongs, we're within a month of your wedding. You need a night out with the guys. A night of revelry and excitement. A night without worrying about Lily waiting up for you at home. A night with your friends. A bachelor party, if you will."

James laughed. "Lily's going to kill you all when she finds out."

"She'll be fine with it," Remus said dismissively. "The girls are keeping her occupied tonight."

"She's having a bachelorette party?" James laughed. "Somehow, that doesn't seem like Lily's cup of tea."

"They have quite a night planned," Sirius grinned. "And so do we. So, let's get dressed, and hit the bars."

* * *

"I feel ridiculous," Lily said as she looked at herself in the mirror.

"Well, you look hot," Olivia replied as she applied mascara.

"You do," Laura agreed. "Absolutely fantastic."

Lily smoothed her hands over her hips, trying to pull her skirt lower. "This is awfully short, don't you think?"

"That's why it's called a _mini_skirt," Olivia said, rolling her eyes. "Besides, the boots work with it."

"You're sure they don't look ridiculous?" Lily asked, looking down at the boots that reached up her legs, stopping several inches short of her knees.

"Honestly, Lil, where we're going, _everyone_ is going to be dressed like that!" Laura said. "Dana, Liv, and I hit all these clubs a week ago. We paid very close attention to what everyone was wearing."

"Did you guys stick out? I mean, what did you wear?"

"Muggle clothes," Olivia said. "Laura talked to her sisters before we left. They gave us excellent advice on what to wear."

"You wore stuff like this?" Lily asked, gesturing toward her ensemble.

"Yes!" Dana exclaimed. "And Liv is right, Lils, you look hot!"

"We're all dressed in the same sort of clothes," Olivia added. "I mean, look at these pants I'm wearing! Could they be any tighter if they tried?"

"You look good in them," Lily said, tugging at her skirt again.

"Lils, you come from a Muggle family," Dana giggled. "You should feel very comfortable in Muggle clothes!"

"This isn't the sort of thing I usually wear," Lily confessed, looking in the mirror as she straightened the plunging neckline of her shirt. She brushed at her hair. "But I guess I look okay."

"You look hot," Olivia repeated. "You have the perfect body for that skirt. I wish I had your legs."

"I think Sirius likes your legs just fine," Lily said with a mischievous smile. "I've seen him touching them often enough."

"Why were you watching?" Olivia asked, struggling to keep a straight face.

"Why were you molesting one another on our sofa?" Lily shot back.

"Why are you having this conversation?" Laura exclaimed. "There are innocent children present!"

"Not a one of us is innocent anymore," Olivia said dismissively. "Come on, ladies. Muggle London awaits."

* * *

"Sirius, would you just give up on you hair already?" Remus laughed from the sitting room. "If James is done with his, you should definitely be done with yours! You have to admit that he has far more hair issues than you!"

"In a minute!"

Remus sighed, and went into the kitchen. When he returned, he tossed bottles of beer to both James and Peter, keeping one for himself.

"I think we're going to need something to occupy our time until our prima dona is ready to leave," he said, opening his bottle.

James and Peter both laughed, and opened their own bottles.

"I resent that," Sirius laughed, coming out of the bathroom. "I'm ready. And stop comparing my hair to James'! James gave up on his hair years ago. He likes that windswept, just off a broomstick look.

"Maybe Remus was on to something with that 'prima dona' line," Peter laughed. "Since when have you talked like a girl, Sirius? You just described James' hair in frightening detail!"

Sirius laughed. "I'll stop talking about his hair when you stop comparing my hair to his. Besides, that comparison doesn't work tonight. He doesn't have anyone to impress. He's engaged."

"I thought the point of a bachelor party was to have one last crazy night as a single guy," James laughed.

"No, I think the point is the avoid death," Peter laughed, taking a swig of his beer. "If Lily finds out you were flirting with other girls, I'm not sure the three of us could stop her from killing you."

James laughed. "Good point."

"Can I have one of those?" Sirius asked, indicating the bottles his friends were holding.

"You know where they are," Remus replied.

"You're not a very good host," Sirius said as he disappeared into the kitchen.

"You live here!" Remus laughed.

Laughing, Sirius emerged from the kitchen. He flung himself down on the sofa, and opened his bottle.

"So, why are we dressed like Muggles if we're going to the bars on Diagon Alley?" James asked.

"Well," Peter said, "we were concerned that we'd get bored with these bars. I mean, we've seen them all before. So, if that happens, we're going to head into Muggle London."

"Really?" James said with interest. "We've never done that before."

"But, there's somewhere else we need to go first," Sirius said. "So, once everyone's done with their drinks, we'll head out to the transportation."

"We have transportation?" James asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah," Remus laughed. "Sirius' motorbike."

"But, how are we all going to fit on it?"

"Padfoot spent this afternoon improving it," Peter grinned. "Come on, guys. Let's get going."

"Wait," James laughed as they all stood up. "Where are we going?"

"To say good bye to the past," Remus said. "Let's go."

* * *

"Get out your license, Lil," Laura commanded as they approached the first club. "You have to show it to the bouncer to prove that you're at least eighteen." She reached into her own purse to procure her drivers license.

"Do Dana and Liv have -?"

"We have ID," Olivia said quickly. "Move along, Lils, you're holding up the line."

Lily obediently handed her license over to the huge bouncer standing at the door. He looked at the card critically for a moment, then a Lily's face.

"What's your address?" he asked.

Lily recited her parents' address, the one still listed on her license, while the man read it from the card. He nodded, and gave it back to her.

"Go on," he said, waving her through.

Lily stepped inside the door, and was immediately accosted by the loud music blaring from the speakers. The lights were low, and people seemed to be all around. The majority of them were on the dance floor, dancing together to the blaring music. Spot lights raced around the crowd, and lights on the floor blinked on and off in different colors.

Olivia bumped into Lily, and giggled. She said something, but Lily couldn't hear a word over all the noise in the club.

"What?" Lily yelled.

Olivia leaned closer. "He didn't think you were old enough!" she yelled. "That's why he made you give him your address! He trusted me – didn't ask me for mine!"

They were soon joined by Dana and Laura. Laura, too, had appeared too young to enter; the bouncer had asked for her birthday.

"Come on," Olivia said. "Let's go get some drinks."

She grabbed Lily's hand to lead her to the bar. Dana grabbed Lily's other hand, and Laura latched onto her. Lily was confused for a moment, but quickly realized why the girls were so clingy. If they hadn't been holding hands, they likely would have been lost in the crowd.

When the reached the bar, Olivia ordered each of them a shot. Lily picked hers up gingerly.

"What's this?" she asked.

"A lemon drop," Olivia giggled as she passed out lemon wedges. "You'll like it."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course! Just make sure to suck on this lemon as soon as you take the shot."

Lily nodded uncertainly.

"To Lily and James," Dana smiled, raising her shot glass.

"Lily and James," Laura and Olivia echoed.

"Here, here," Lily grinned.

All four girls threw back their shots.

* * *

Sirius' motorbike had been "improved" by the addition of two sidecars, which allowed all four of them to ride together. Once they were settled on the bike, Sirius took off, taking them high into the clouds.

"Where are we going?" James yelled over the roar of the engine.

"You'll see!" Sirius yelled back.

After what felt like forever, they touched down. James looked around in shock.

"Are we at Hogwarts?"

"Yup," Sirius said cheerfully. "But not just anywhere – DUCK!"

James jumped out of the way just in time. A branch lashed out at him. Another flew in his direction, and he leaned back.

"Why are we . . .?"

James' question died in his throat as he watched Peter transform. The small rat scampered along, dodging the swinging branches. He pressed the knot at the base of the tree, freezing it.

"Come on," Sirius said, picking up the bag that Peter had dropped. "Let's go."

Once again, the four friends followed the tunnel to the Shrieking Shack. The tunnel and the journey were different this time. Remus was with them, not waiting for them at the other side. No dangerous adventure awaited them. The tunnel seemed smaller than it had been before, and the protruding rocks more jagged.

Maybe the tunnel hadn't changed. Maybe they had.

They reached the Shack, and wandered inside. They were all silent, and were treading lightly. They knew better than to be afraid of Dumbledore's "violent spirits" that haunted the house. They didn't want to disturb the memories, the ghosts of their younger selves. James was sure that if he just listened hard enough, he'd be able to hear the sounds of four animals running across the wooden floorboards. Then, he realized what other sounds he would hear – the sounds of Remus' bones snapping, the gnashing of his teeth as he transformed into a werewolf. These were the sounds that he still heard once every twenty-eight days, but tried to forget the other twenty-seven.

"Why are we here?" James whispered.

"We're saying good bye," Sirius said, his own voice uncharacteristically solemn. "This is it, James. When you marry Lily in a few weeks, our childhood is over. If one of us is old enough to get married, we're all officially adults."

"We needed to close this chapter of our lives," Remus added. "We'll never run around Hogwarts illegally again. We wanted to have the chance to say good bye."

"And to do so properly," Peter said, pulling a bottle of firewhiskey and four shot glasses from his bag. He poured four shots, and passed the glasses around.

"To the end of our childhood," Sirius said, raising his glass. "And to getting completely sloshed tonight!"

"To James and Lily," Peter said, raising his glass.

"To the best friends I've ever had," Remus said, raising his shot.

"To the future," James said, bringing his own glass level with theirs.

The boys who had become friends so many years ago nodded, and threw back their shots. The men who were sure they would be friends forever nodded at one another again, and left the Shrieking Shack for what they were sure would be the last time.

* * *

"What's this called again?" Lily asked as she and the other girls danced together.

"A melon ball," Dana said. "Do you like it? Is it better than the gin and tonic?"

"Definitely!" Lily laughed, taking a sip. "But I liked the screwdriver, too. Who taught you girls all these drinks?"

Dana and Olivia pointed at Laura. She laughed.

"I have five older brothers and sisters," she said, taking a drink from her own glass. "I had received an education in drinks before I was sixteen! Incidentally, if you like fruity drinks, we're going to try a fuzzy navel next."

"Lily's empty," Olivia said, pointing at the glass Lily had drained. "We do need more drinks."

"Shall we get her a fuzzy navel?" Laura asked.

"Let's do another shot," Dana suggested. "We'll all do one."

Olivia looked at Lily with a glint in her eye. "I have the perfect idea. Come on, girls, let's go back to the bar."

A man appeared behind Lily, and started dancing against her. Alarmed, she jumped and turned around. He took his for agreement to dance, and moved in closer. Lily looked around for her friends. Dana, who had just grabbed Laura's shoulder to make their way toward the bar, looked around for Lily at the same time. Their eyes met, and she pulled Laura and Olivia back toward Lily. The three girls began dancing around Lily, dancing her away from the random man.

"Thanks!" Lily exclaimed as they made their way toward the bar.

"You're welcome," Olivia giggled. "If James found out we had let you dance with another man tonight, I think he'd kill us all!"

"Yeah, because that was such a consensual dance," Lily giggled. "That man was awfully skeevy!"

"He looks old, too," Dana said, wrinkling her nose. "I'll bet he's close to thirty."

"Ew!" Lily exclaimed. "Why do I attract the skeevy guys?"

"Are you calling James skeevy?" Olivia laughed.

"No, of course not . . ."

The reached the bar, and Olivia leaned over to give their orders. When the bartender returned, he passed lemon drops to Olivia, Laura, and Dana, and put a glass down in front of Lily. She watched as he mixed the shot, then added whipped cream on top of it.

"What's this?" Lily asked, her eyes rounding as she looked at the whipped cream.

Laura and Olivia both laughed. Dana looked as though she was struggling not to laugh with them.

"You don't want to know what it's called, Lils," she replied.

"But know this," Laura managed to gasp out, "if properly done, you shouldn't use your hands."

Lily looked at her as if she had lost her mind. "What?"

"She's right, Lils," Olivia laughed. "Let's see you use that mouth."

Realizing what they were getting at, Lily's face turned beet red. The girls laughed even harder.

"Drink up, Lils!"

* * *

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter had nearly completed the Diagon Alley bar crawl. They had hit all their usual haunts, as well as a few bars they had never entered before. All four of them were quite drunk as they left the last one.

"Well, that's Diagon Alley," Remus said, slurring his words slightly.

"We can't be done," Peter protested, his own words slurred. "Let's hit Muggle London."

"Peter wants to dance," Sirius said with a laugh. "Once he found out the girls were going to a dance club, he got a little jealous." He tried to dance, and nearly tripped over his own feet.

"Oh, yeah, like you don't want to see all those girls wearing next to nothing, dancing around one another like it's their job!"

"That's where they took Lily?" James said, vaguely realizing that he was considerably louder than usual. "They took her to a dance club?"

"Well, the plan was actually several dance clubs," Remus clarified. "But don't worry. They'll make sure she doesn't do anything inappropriate."

"As we promised to do for you," Sirius affirmed. "Didn't you notice that we haven't even suggested a strip club?"

"That was Sirius' original plan," Remus laughed. "But Olivia threatened him with . . . Well, let's just say that she definitely knows how to get her way with Sirius."

"Wait," James said, his brain slowly catching up to his friends' words. "So, you're telling me that right now, Lily Evans is dancing around wearing next to nothing, as our friend Peter put it?"

"That's right," Sirius said slowly.

"I have to see that!" James laughed. "Let's go!"

* * *

They didn't have any idea which club the girls had made it to, but decided to try the first one they could remember the girls mentioning. They showed their ID, and walked into the club.

"How are we going to find them in this?" Remus asked.

"How many girls could there be with hair like Lily's?" James asked.

"Fair point," Peter said, straining to make himself tall enough to see over the heads of those around them.

"Leave the spotting to the tall people," Sirius laughed, searching for the girls.

"Do you see them?" Remus asked.

"No . . . I don't think . . . OH MY GOD!"

"You found them?" James asked.

"They're over by the bar," Sirius said, shaking his head.

"I can't believe that was so easy," Peter marveled.

"I can't believe what Lily's about to do!" Sirius laughed.

"What?" James asked a bit fearfully.

"You'll have to see for yourself!"

Lily leaned over the shot glass, still trying to decide if she was drunk enough to make a fool of herself in front of her friends. She knew that she was drunk enough that she didn't care about spilling the alcohol, but she also knew that she couldn't take this shot without picking it up with her hands. Her coordination was far too impaired. She reached out to grab the glass, and was stunned to feel hands grab her wrists and pull them away from the bar, pinning them behind her back.

"Now, now," a voice said in her ear, "I thought you couldn't use your hands for that particular shot."

Lily nearly jumped out of her skin, and turned around. James smiled down at her.

"What are you doing here?" she squealed.

"Looking for you," he said, his eyes going up and down her body. He leaned down to speak in her ear again. "Can I get you to dress like that more often?"

Lily pushed her hands against his chest. "You're drunk."

"So are you," James accused.

"Yeah," Lily grinned.

"So, let's see you take that shot," James laughed. "And I'm holding your hands!"

Lily laughed, and leaned down to pick up the glass with her teeth.

"You know, you've ruined our plans," Olivia said, hitting Sirius lightly in the chest.

"Well, we couldn't keep Romeo away from Juliet forever," Sirius sighed.

"Let them have their fun," Dana smiled, watching as Lily spilled her shot all over both herself and James.

James and Lily both laughed hysterically. James spun Lily around, and kissed her. He broke the kiss, and spun her again, taking her out onto the dance floor. The others looked at one another for a moment, then joined them. It was a night for all of them to have fun.


	17. Happily Ever After

A/N: I'm finally back from vacation! It was a stressful two weeks – I'm actually really glad to be home! Well, this is the chapter that I think everyone has been waiting for. I was really nervous writing it. I hope it lives up to your expectations! Enjoy!

I don't own Harry Potter or Swiss Army Knives. Actually, I don't own anything produced by the Swiss – but their chocolate is great!

Happily Ever After

The dancing continued for hours. By the time Remus finally realized that he was sobering up, it was after four in the morning. He looked around for his friends, knowing that they needed to get home. Sirius and Peter stood on the edge of the dance floor. Each had an arm around the other's shoulders, and they swayed from side to side as they belted out the wrong words to the song that was playing. Remus shook his head. They were far too drunk to be much help. Casting his eyes around again, he found Lily and James. They, too, were obviously drunk. They were dancing impossibly close together, kissing every few seconds. Shaking his head again, Remus scanned the room one last time. He found Laura, Olivia, and Dana together, standing next to the bar. They were all laughing hysterically, yet looked like his best bet for finding a semi-sober friend. He crossed to them, and touched Laura's shoulder.

"Laura, how drunk are you?" he asked.

"Not very," she replied with a grin. "I didn't have as much to drink as these lushes."

"Hey!" Olivia cried. "Lushes have drinking problems! We're just social drinkers!"

"Yeah!" Dana agreed, swaying into Olivia. Olivia caught her, and they both started laughing again.

"Whatever," Laura laughed. She looked back at Remus. "What's up?"

"We need to get everyone home," Remus said. "It's really late. Everyone can just crash at our place. We can walk there, and I'm sure we'll have enough room for everyone."

"All right," Laura agreed. "Shall we start rounding up the troops? I'm sure that these two will need help getting home."

"Yeah, so will everyone else. Let's get moving."

Laura nodded, and turned back to Olivia and Dana. Remus made his way across the room toward Sirius and Peter.

"Hey, guys, it's time to go," he said as he approached them.

"Remus!" Sirius exclaimed, throwing his arm around Remus' shoulders. "We can't go yet! I love this song!"

"You don't even know this song," Remus smiled. "You're singing the wrong words! We have to go home. You and Peter can make up songs there."

"Hey!" Peter exclaimed, swaying into Sirius. "We're artists!"

"Sure," Remus laughed. "Let's get moving, guys."

Sirius reached into his pocket. "I'll drive us home."

"Good luck with that," Remus laughed. "We left your motorbike at our flat before we even hit the bars around us, remember? It's still there."

"Oh," Sirius laughed. "I guess we'll walk, then."

"Good call," Remus smiled.

He glanced around, looking for the others. Laura was leading Dana and Olivia toward the exit. She caught Remus' eye, and jerked her head backwards. Remus glanced in that direction, and saw James and Lily still on the dance floor. Their bodies were pressed tightly together as they swayed completely out of time with the music.

Sirius followed Remus' gaze, and caught sight of his friends. "OY! PRONGS!" he yelled. "We're going!"

Remus shook his head, wondering if it was acceptable to bellow a nickname like "Prongs" in the middle of a crowded Muggle club. As if in answer to his unasked question, two men walked past him; one was calling the other "Moose." Perhaps "Prongs" wouldn't seem so odd.

Once James and Lily had reluctantly joined them, Remus led his friends out of the club. They found Laura, Olivia, and Dana waiting for them on the sidewalk.

"Your flat?" Laura questioned.

"Right," Remus replied. "Let's go."

The walk was only a few blocks, but it seemed to take forever. Sirius and Peter supported one another, still singing loudly. James and Lily clutched at each other, trying to keep one another standing. Dana was clinging to Laura as they walked, while Olivia leaned on Remus as she took stumbling steps.

"You're great, Remus," Olivia said as they approached the guys' flat. "I love you."

Remus laughed. "I love you, too, Liv."

"You're a great friend," she said.

"So are you," Remus replied. "Come on, love. Up the stairs."

"Oh, they're high," Olivia giggled as she nearly fell into Remus.

Remus sighed, and put his arm around her waist to help her up the stairs. Once they had made it inside, he dropped her into a cushy chair.

"Thanks, Remus," Olivia said. "I love you."

"So you've said," Remus laughed.

Laura helped Dana onto the sofa, and looked at Remus. "Where is everyone going to sleep?"

Remus grabbed his wand, and transfigured two chairs into beds. "Problem solved. Dana and Peter can have these, and the rest of you can sleep with your significant others."

James and Lily, who had come in last, were already on their way to James' room. They were still supporting one another, laughing as they crashed into walls and furniture. Remus laughed.

"Well, that takes care of them," he said. "Sirius, take Olivia to bed."

"If you insist," Sirius grinned. He pulled Olivia off the sofa, and led her to his bedroom.

Remus shook his head. He and Laura helped Dana and Peter get settled, then went to Remus' room.

"Has working in law enforcement made you forget your Potions?" Remus asked as he pulled off his shirt.

"Why?" Laura asked as she peeled off her clubbing clothes. "Do you still need a tutor?"

"No," Remus grinned. "But I can think of at least six people who are going to need a good Hangover Remedy in the morning. I've never been all that great at Potions, so I thought maybe you could help them out."

Laura grinned. "I suppose I could put my skills to good use." She grabbed one of Remus' large t-shirts, and pulled it over her head. "Let me go see if you guys have all the stuff I'm going to need."

"All right," Remus agreed. He had stripped down to his boxers, and laid down on his bed. "I'll be right here."

"I'm sure you will be," Laura grinned. She leaned down to kiss his forehead. "I'll be right back."

She left Remus' bedroom, and began to walk down the hall to the kitchen, knowing it to be where the guys kept their potion ingredients. As she passed James' and Sirius' rooms, she decided to check on her drunken friends. Quick glances assured her that James, Lily, Sirius, and Olivia were all sleeping peacefully. All four were still fully clothed, but they were breathing deeply and evenly, which Laura decided was good enough. Dana, too, was sound asleep, but Peter was awake, staring up at the living room ceiling.

"Peter?" Laura asked softly. "Are you all right?"

"Laura," Peter said. He turned to face her, his eyes full of misery. "Have you ever made a terrible mistake?"

"Sure I have," Laura replied. "Everyone has."

"A really, _really_ terrible mistake?"

"Peter, getting drunk at your friend's bachelor party isn't _that_ bad."

"That's not what I meant," Peter said, waving his hand in a crooked path over his head. "My dad told me all along that it was a mistake, but I didn't listen."

"What was a mistake?" Laura asked softly. Despite the after-affects of the alcohol she had consumed, she was a bit frightened. Peter's tone was rather desperate. To her knowledge, he had never spoken of a mistake before, and she knew enough about his father to be concerned.

"It doesn't matter what I did wrong," Peter said, hope trying to fight its way past the misery in his eyes. "I can still fix it, right?"

"Of course," Laura said hesitantly. "We can always fix our mistakes. It's never too late to make it right, Peter."

"I'll fix it," Peter said with determination.

"Of course you will," Laura replied.

Peter nodded, his eyelids drooping. "I'll fix it, Laura. I'll make it right, and I won't make any more mistakes."

"Peter, what mistake did you make?" Laura asked.

It was too late. Peter's eyes were closed. He had fallen asleep.

Laura looked at him for a moment, wondering what his horrible mistake had been. Abandoning her plan to go to the kitchen, she returned to Remus' room.

"Remus," she hissed. "Remus, I have a question."

Remus' response was a muffled snore. He was stretched out across his bed, fast asleep.

Laura looked at him in annoyance. For a moment, she considered shaking him awake, but decided against it. She wasn't even sure that Peter himself knew what he was talking about. He was drunk, and half asleep. It was probably nothing. Laura laid down next to Remus, curling up against him. Peter only lingered on her mind for a moment before she, too, was asleep.

* * *

During the next week, Lily learned exactly what it meant to be a Potter in the eyes of the financial world. She had always known that James' family was well-off, but had not fully realized _how_ well-off they were until she and James began the process to purchase their home. Approvals were practically gift-wrapped for them; even the Gringotts goblins didn't hesitate to offer them a loan. Lily was amazed, but James took it as a fact of life.

"Well," he said cheerfully after they had signed the papers officially declaring the house theirs, "that's done. We're homeowners now, Lil!"

Lily laughed, and grabbed his hand. "I can't believe it! That was too easy!"

"You didn't expect it to be hard, did you?"

"James, normal people have far more trouble buying houses."

"We _are_ normal people."

Lily smiled. "Believe me, your family has quite a bit more money than normal people."

James flushed. "That's my parents' money, not mine," he said uncomfortably.

"James, it doesn't make a difference to me," she said, squeezing his hand. "Your parents' names and reputation may have given us an advantage in buying this house, but we can't ride on that forever. We're going to have to make a name for ourselves now." She gave him the smile that she only smiled for him. "I love _you_, James, not your parents' money."

"Good," James said, smiling back at her. "Come on. Let's go buy some furniture for our house!"

Lily laughed again. "Are you sure you're willing to set me loose in a furniture store?"

"Absolutely. Our wedding is in two weeks, and we don't have a single piece of furniture! We can't exactly sleep on the floor, can we?"

"Well, we could," Lily laughed, smiling mischievously. "It might not be comfortable . . . but we also might not notice."

"Oh, you're a naughty girl," James laughed, squeezing her hand. "We're going to buy a bed first. I refuse to sleep on the floor!"

After an afternoon of shopping, James and Lily had managed to furnish their bedroom and living room. They still needed to find pieces for the kitchen, dining room, and spare bedrooms. Lily had decided that the spare bedrooms would come last, since they would likely be used the least.

"Shall we have dinner?" James asked as they left the furniture store. He looked at his watch. "It's getting late."

"Sure," Lily smiled. "But we can't stay out too late. I have to be at work early in the morning to go over some research with Minnie."

"It's not more about Ludo Bagman, is it?" James asked, making a face at the thought of his hero as a Death Eater.

"No, not him. But we have a few others we're watching, and I think we have enough evidence to go public on at least one of them."

"Who?" James asked eagerly.

Lily shook her head. "I can't tell you. It's still confidential."

"All right, then," James sighed. "I wish my job was as exciting as yours."

"You're sick of dealing with foreign wizards?"

"Not exactly. It's more that I'm sick of dealing with Fudge. But, really, the entire job is starting to get to me. Maybe I wasn't cut out for working in the Ministry," he said as they approached a favorite café.

"Laura seems to love it."

"Oh, she does." He paused as the host led them to their table. Once they were seated, he continued. "We did get Laura a present, didn't we?"

"For being in the wedding party? We got everyone presents."

"No, I meant for the potion she made us the other day."

Lily giggled. "She's good, isn't she?"

"The best. I don't know what I would have done without that potion."

"I don't think any of us does." Lily paused, and closed her menu, giving James her full attention. "There's something I wanted to ask you about that night."

"I already told you we didn't see or solicit any stripper or hookers!"

"It's not that," Lily laughed.

"What is it, then?"

"Did Laura say anything to you about Peter?"

"Remus said she told him Peter was rambling on about some mistake he made. Is that what you're talking about?"

"Yeah. Do you know what his mistake was?"

"We asked him about it, but he said that he didn't remember talking to Laura at all." James shrugged. "It was just drunken ramblings. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about."

"All right," Lily said uneasily.

"You don't seem like you believe me."

"Well . . . It's just that people are more prone to tell the truth when they're drunk, that's all."

James shook his head. "This is Peter, Lil. One of my best friends. I believe him."

Lily nodded. "If you believe him, that's good enough for me."

* * *

By the end of the week, Lily and James had selected all the furniture for their house. It was all to be delivered at the end of the following week. They requested that it be delivered on Saturday so that they both could be at the house to receive it.

Lily arrived at the house at the prearranged time, wearing old jeans and a sweatshirt. Her hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail. She was ready to arrange furniture.

She only had to wait a few minutes before James and Sirius came in. Her face lit with a smile. She kissed James, then turned her smile to their friend.

"Sirius, I didn't know you were coming!"

"Well, James said that you might need some help moving this furniture, so I volunteered. Remus and Peter both found very convenient excuses for not being here today."

"Such as?" Lily asked with raised eyebrows.

James laughed. "Remus has a practical exam, and Peter is staying with his father, who is apparently on his deathbed yet again."

"See? Ridiculously convenient," Sirius said.

Lily laughed. "Yes, I'll never forgive Remus for skipping this to take a test, or Peter for staying with a dying relative."

"Good girl," Sirius grinned. "Hey, I think your deliveries are here."

Lily ran to the door, and threw it open. True to Sirius' word, several workers were already arriving with cases of goods. With a squeal of delight, she watched them bringing her furniture to the house.

"This is going to be so much fun!" she exclaimed.

James and Sirius laughed at her enthusiasm.

Lily watched in amazement as the men brought in the small cases. Once they had the furniture in the appropriate rooms, they restored it to its original size with quick spells. James signed for the deliveries, and the workers went on to make their next delivery.

"Now we get to arrange it!" Lily exclaimed. "Let's start in the living room."

James and Sirius both pulled out their wands as they entered the front room of the house. Lily frowned.

"What are you two doing?"

"What do you mean?" James asked with a frown. "We're getting ready to move the furniture!"

"With your wands?"

"Of course," Sirius said. "How else would you do it?"

"You mean you've never actually moved furniture?"

"Of course we have," James replied. "We rearranged Sirius' room at my house when we were only thirteen!"

"No, I mean _moved_ it! You know, shoving it across the room using your arms?"

"You want us to move the furniture without using magic?" James asked in surprise.

"Of course!" Lily exclaimed.

James looked helplessly at Sirius. Sirius laughed.

"You're the one who's marrying her, mate."

James sighed. "All right, Lily. If you want us to physically move the furniture, then we'll do it your way."

Lily shook her head. "We'll do it the Muggle way."

"Whatever," Sirius said, removing his heavy robes to reveal jeans and a t-shirt. "Let's get going. I have a feeling this is going to take awhile!"

They managed to make it through the living room and the kitchen without using magic. After that, Lily was completely fed up with James' and Sirius' whining, and gave in.

"Fine!" she exploded. "We'll do it your way!"

"Ah, compromise. We did half the house the Muggle way, and we'll do the other half the wizard way. This is what marriage is all about, my friends," Sirius grinned. "I think you've officially passed your first test."

James and Lily looked at one another in surprise. Neither of them had seen this situation as much of a compromise.

Lily wound her arms around James' neck with a smile. "I guess I could have been a bit nicer about it."

"And I could have whined a little less."

Lily leaned up to kiss him. "I love you."

"I love _you_."

"Hey! Enough with the mushiness! We have work to do!"

Laughing, James and Lily broke apart, and grabbed their wands to help Sirius arrange the furniture in the bedrooms.

* * *

"Lily, you have mail!"

Lily walked through the front door of her flat, tossing her purse onto a table. "Is it another RSVP?"

"Looks like it," Dana replied, carrying the envelope into the living room. "It was delivered by Muggle post, at any rate."

Lily shook her head. "Honestly! The day before the wedding!"

"Some people are procrastinators," Dana shrugged. She handed the envelope to Lily, and disappeared back down the hall to her bedroom. "I have to finish getting ready. We leave at six, right?"

"Not a minute later!" Lily called after her, looking at the return address on the letter. While the address, number four Privet Drive, was unfamiliar to her, she knew the handwriting only too well.

"I'll be ready!" Dana called. "But I make not promises about Olivia! She's not back from the Academy yet!"

"What?" Lily yelled, delaying the moment when she would have to open the letter. _Talk about procrastinators._ "We leave in thirty minutes!"

"I know!" Dana yelled. "She'll be here!"

"She'd better be!"

Dana's door closed, ending the conversation. Without further distractions, Lily had no choice. She had to open the letter.

She broke the seal carefully, trying to keep the address unscathed. She might want to write a letter to her sister someday, and she would need to know where to send it. She pulled out the single sheet of paper, and began to read.

_"Dear Lily,_

_"I'm sure you can understand why Vernon and I will not be in attendance at your wedding. We could not possibly attend a gathering that involves your kind, even if it is to take place in our church. _

_"Too much has happened between us, Lily. We can't ever make it right, and we can't ever be sisters as we once were. You will live your life, and I will live mine. We will both go on as though we don't have sisters. It is the easiest way._

_"With that said, please know that I certainly don't wish you harm, and that I hope your wedding day will be considerably happier than mine. An end to our relationship is simply the easiest way to handle this. With our lives as they are, moving in different circles, we won't have any need to see one another again. Consider this our final correspondence._

_"Sincerely,_

_"Petunia"_

"Damn you, Petunia," Lily whispered. She swiped the back of her hand across her eyes to rid them of the tears that were forming. "You had to wait until the bloody day before my wedding, didn't you?"

"Hey, now, watch the language," Olivia said as she entered the room, concern already creasing her face. "What's wrong, Lils?"

"Petunia," Lily said, waving her letter. To her chagrin, tears formed in her eyes again.

"What has that bitch done to you now?" Olivia asked, stepping closer.

"Officially and formally written me off," Lily replied angrily, the tears she had tried to stop beginning to fall. "Apparently, our ties as sisters have been severed."

"What do you mean, 'severed?'"

Lily handed Olivia the letter. "Here, let her explain it to you."

Olivia read the short note, her eyes growing wide. When she was finished, she folded the sheet of paper, and put it down on the nearest table.

"Well?" Lily asked.

"You're better off without her," Olivia said, trying to contain her anger. "We're your sisters – Dana, Laura, and I. You don't need Petunia."

Lily nodded, and bit her lip to keep from crying.

Olivia looked at her for a moment, and realized that no words could comfort her friend. She pulled her close, and hugged her tightly.

Lily clung to Olivia, trying desperately not to sob. She had cried enough for Petunia already. She didn't need to cry anymore.

"Look," Olivia said gently, "this isn't a day for tears – not tears of sorrow, at least. You're getting married tomorrow, Lils! You should be happy!"

"I am happy."

"Well, you need to look it," Olivia said, looking into Lily's face. "Now, go wash your face, put on your prettiest dress, and get yourself ready for this rehearsal. Don't think about Petunia. Think of James."

"All right," Lily said giving her a lopsided smiled.

"That's better," Olivia said, kissing her cheek. "Now, get going! We have to leave in less than twenty minutes!"

* * *

"Good evening, everyone! My name is Georgia Landry, and I am the coordinator for James and Lily's wedding."

James and Lily glanced at one another. The church had insisted upon appointing a wedding coordinator, despite the fact that Lily had planned every detail of the wedding. Georgia Landry was there to make sure that the ceremony ran smoothly. Lily was quite sure that the older woman was a titch insane, and had shared her suspicions with James. Judging by the barely contained laughter on Sirius' face, he, too, knew of Lily's opinion of Ms. Landry.

"This is Father O'Leary. He will be performing the ceremony."

Fr. O'Leary stepped forward, and smiled at them all. "I'm very pleased to be here for Lily and James," he said. "They have endured more in the past few months than many people deal with in a lifetime. They are both wonderful people, and I'm thrilled to be the one who will join them in marriage. With all that they've shown us they can do together, I'm sure that their marriage will be incredibly strong." He smiled at Lily and James, then turned his smile to the entire group. "Before we begin, let's bow our heads and pray together."

After the opening prayer, Georgia took over again. She went on at length about the way in which the bridesmaids and groomsmen would enter the church, which seemed to calm them considerably. Lily decided that it was worth the extensive speech if it got their attendants to relax.

After they had run through the entire ceremony in words, they put it into action. Georgia put them through their paces, practically escorting each girl down the aisle herself in an effort to make them walk at the appropriate pace. They made an enormous number of mistakes, which they all took in good humor. Everyone laughed at themselves – even Fr. O'Leary – to the great annoyance of their wedding coordinator.

The second time through was far more organized. They all knew what they were doing, and were able to follow along easily. Even Sirius, who was taking his position as best man very seriously, stopped joking and did everything perfectly. When it was over, Georgia told them that they were ready, and reminded them of the time they needed to be at the church in the morning.

"Is she going to be here tomorrow to tell us when to walk down the aisle?" Dana muttered to Olivia and Laura.

"Probably," Olivia whispered. "I can't imagine that she'd be willing to let a moment of this wedding go off without her there to take credit."

"Or to assign blame," Laura giggled. "She's not coming to dinner with us, is she?"

"No, she's not," James said as he came up behind them.

All three girls jumped, and barely stopped themselves from screaming. James laughed.

"Lily told you that she's crazy," he said.

"She was right," Olivia said. "Who does she think she is?"

"The wedding god," James laughed. "Come on, ladies. We have reservations!"

Because the entire wedding party consisted of wizards, they had reserved a back room at the Three Broomsticks for their rehearsal dinner. James' parents had been shocked, but James and Lily insisted that the location of their first date, as well as the date that had included James' proposal, was the perfect spot for their rehearsal dinner. The Potters had reluctantly agreed, and were now accompanying the wedding party to the bar.

When they arrived, Madam Rosmerta led them to their reserved room. She herself acted as their server, to the great delight of James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. The girls smiled, knowing of their friends' special relationship with the bar's owner.

Dinner was just winding down when James and Lily exchanged a glance. They nodded at one another, and stood.

"Could we have your attention, please?" James asked.

Conversations ended, and all eyes turned to James and Lily, who were standing at the head of the long table they were seated around. James looked at Lily, and she nodded.

"James and I wanted to say thank you to all of you for being here today, and for sharing in our special day tomorrow," she said. "We love all of you so much, and we are so grateful for everything that you've done for us. And to say thank you, we have some gifts for you."

She picked up the bag at her feet, and extracted three packages wrapped in red and gold paper.

"These are for the bridesmaids," she explained, passing one to each girl. "I want you to wear them tomorrow."

The girls opened their packages, exclaiming over the pearl necklaces and earrings. Lily beamed at their reactions.

"You like them?" she asked.

"So much," Dana affirmed, already trying on her necklace. "They're beautiful, Lils! Thank you!"

"You're welcome," she replied, still beaming.

James cleared his throat, and picked up the bag Lily had set on the table. "Gentlemen, these are for the groomsmen – and I don't care if you have them with you tomorrow or not!"

He passed three more red and gold wrapped packages to his groomsmen. They tore off the paper to reveal pocket knives.

"Lily tells me that they're called Swiss Knives," James said with a shrug. "She said they're pretty special."

"Swiss _Army_ Knives," Lily corrected. "They're the best Muggle pocket knives you can buy. They're to remind you that sometimes the Muggle way of doing things _can_ be better."

"Never!" Sirius laughed. "You made James and I help you move all that furniture into your house the Muggle way, and that took forever!"

"I didn't ask for your opinion," Lily laughed.

Sirius blew her a kiss. "You know I love you, Little Flower!"

Lily shook her head, but laughed again.

"We're not done yet," James said with a smile. He pulled another package from the bag. "Mum and Dad, we could never have done this without you. You've been there for us every step of the way, and supported us more than we can ever say. So, this is for you."

Mr. and Mrs. Potter worked together to open their package. Mrs. Potter gasped as the final piece of wrapping paper fell away. Lily beamed at their reaction to the family tree she and James had created.

After months of research, they had traced both of their families back five generations. They had recorded all their findings on the parchment, ending it with their own union. Sirius had charmed it to magically add to itself like the family tree in his own parents' house did.

Mrs. Potter looked up at them with teary eyes. "You made this?"

"Sirius helped," James admitted.

"Oh, my dears!" She jumped up from her seat, and crushed James to her. Once she had released him, she pulled Lily close.

"Thank you so much," she said.

"Thank _you_," Lily replied. "Without you, Mrs. Potter, I wouldn't even have a gown to wear tomorrow!"

She pulled back, and looked deeply into Lily's eyes. "You're far too formal with me, darling. I would be honored if you would call me Mum."

Now Lily's eyes filled with tears.

"If it's too hard, you don't have to," she said quickly. "Just Margaret will be fine, if it's easier for you."

Lily shook her head. "I would be honored to call you Mum. Thank you."

Mrs. Potter kissed her cheek. "Welcome to our family, Lily."

With one last hug, she moved on to hug Sirius. Once his mother had sat down, James cleared his throat again.

"We have one more to go," he said.

"No, we don't," Lily contradicted. "That's all."

"You didn't know about this one," James grinned. "This one is for you." He pulled a small box from his jacket pocket, and cleared his throat. "Lily, I've loved you for as long as I can remember. For years, you were this unattainable goddess that I had to struggle to impress. It wasn't until I stopped struggling that I realized what I had been trying to do all along – to be a better person. You make me want to be a better person, Lil, and everything good about me is that way because of you. I love you, and I can't wait until tomorrow, when I can declare that before God and our families and friends." He opened the box, and held it out for her to see. "I want you to have this today, so that you can wear it tomorrow, and every day after. Your wedding ring will be a symbol of tomorrow and our wedding, but this is a symbol of tonight, and of the anticipation and the hope that we're feeling right now."

With slight confusion in her eyes, Lily lifted the amethyst ring out of the box. "But, James, this is a birthstone ring," she said softly. "My birthday isn't in February."

"I know that," he said, his voice a bit husky. "But our wedding – the day our new life begins – _is_ in February. It's the birthstone of our life together."

Lily's breath caught in her throat, and a gasping sob escaped. James slid the gold band bearing the precious stone over her ring finger on her right hand. With her tears still spilling down her cheeks, Lily flung herself into James' arms. She couldn't find the right words, and didn't have the power to say them even if she could. It was enough to be locked in his arms.

* * *

"Maybe drinking after dinner last night _wasn't_ such a good idea," James moaned as he stumbled into the kitchen, clutching his head. "I feel awful, _and_ I owe Remus five galleons from that poker game! Lily's going to kill me!"

Peter, who was already seated at the table, looked up at James for a moment, then dropped his head back onto his outstretched arms. Remus walked in after James, and went straight to the sink. He grabbed a glass, and began pouring himself glasses of water.

"Good morning, glories!"

"God, Sirius, when did you become so obnoxious?" James asked.

"Or so loud?" Peter asked. "Inside voices, please!"

"Didn't you drink with us last night?" Remus asked, downing his fourth glass of water.

"Yes," Sirius said briskly. "And, as we do have to be at the church in under two hours, I'd advise you all to start drinking again."

"Are you mad?" James exclaimed. "If Lily's going to kill me for being hung over, I don't even want to _think_ about what would happen if I came in drunk!"

"Here," Sirius said, handing each of his friends a glass. "I'll have you know I've been up for three hours working on this, so you'd better drink it!"

Remus took a tentative sip, and a grin spread across his face. "Sirius, you're a genius!"

"Is this --?" Peter asked.

"A Hangover Remedy!" James exclaimed, taking a large gulp. "Sirius, you truly are the best man!"

"If I hear that joke again, I'll hex you into next week," Sirius grinned. "Finish your drinks quickly, men. We have much work to accomplish before we leave!"

* * *

"Right," Lily said as they entered the girls' flat. "We have our hair done, and now we have an hour to get dressed and put on makeup before the limo gets here."

"Lils, we're doing great on time," Dana said soothingly. "Now, let's get you in your dress first, then we can get dressed."

"Before we start, do you have something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue?" Laura asked.

"What?" Olivia frowned.

"Muggle tradition," Lily explained. "On your wedding day, you're supposed to have something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue."

"Oh," Olivia smiled. "Cute."

"Well, do you?" Laura asked.

Lily frowned slightly. "Well, the ring James gave me is new," she said slowly. "And I'm wearing the bracelet my mum gave me, so that's old." She paused, and giggled. "And I'm wearing blue underwear."

"You'd better hope that doesn't show through your dress," Olivia cautioned.

"With all these layers, there's no way it could," Dana laughed as she carried Lily's dress over. "Strip, Lils. We need to get you dressed!"

Lily laughed, and began taking off her clothes. The girls helped her step into her undergarments, and then pulled the dress over her head. They were still arranging it to hang right when Laura gasped.

"Lils! You never mentioned anything borrowed!"

Lily frowned. "I don't have anything borrowed."

"Yes, you do," Dana said. She unclasped her necklace, and put it around Lily's neck. "I'm going to wear the necklace that you have me today, so I won't need this."

"Dana, didn't Aidan give this to you?" Lily asked, fingering the diamond pendant that she was certain had been a graduation gift.

"Yes," Dana said with a smile. "That's why it's something _borrowed_. I expect it back in this same condition!"

"Done," Lily grinned. "All right, I can do my own makeup, girls. Go get yourselves dressed before we're late!"

* * *

"James! Sirius! The limo's here to take us to the church!"

"Are you ready?" Sirius asked, watching as James straightened his tie.

"I think so," James said. "This is it, Sirius. This is my wedding."

"Actually, it's just your limo. Your wedding won't happen for at least another hour."

"You're a prat."

"Yeah, I know," Sirius grinned. "Come on. Let's get to that church."

"Right."

Peter and Remus were already outside, admiring the limo. Neither of them had ever ridden in a limo before, and they were both ecstatic at the prospect.

"Are you guys ready to go?" Remus asked.

"Yeah," James replied. He started down the walk toward his friends.

"Wait a minute," Sirius said, stopping him with a hand on his shoulder.

"What?"

"This isn't right. James Potter shouldn't arrive at his wedding in a limo."

"And just what do you suggest?"

Sirius grinned. "Remus, Peter, you go ahead without us! We'll meet you there!"

"What?" Peter exclaimed. "If we show up at that church without James, Lily's going to go ballistic!"

"Lily won't know! She's not allowed to see James until the ceremony! Just go! We'll see you there!"

"Sirius, what are you doing?" James hissed.

"You, my friend, are going to arrive at that church in style!"

* * *

"The limo's here!" Laura exclaimed. "It's time to go, girls!"

Lily looked at her reflection in the mirror one last time. She brushed at her hair, making sure it was all staying in place.

"You look gorgeous," Dana praised. "You'll be the most beautiful bride that church has ever seen."

Lily smiled. "I'm nervous, Dana."

"All brides are," Dana smiled. "This is a lot of change in your life. But it's _good_ change, and you're ready for it. You're marrying James Potter, Lily. You know better than anyone how long you've wanted that."

Lily nodded. "You're right. I'm ready. Let's go."

The girls arrived at the church, and were ushered in through a back entrance. The wedding coordinator took them straight down to the basement.

"I'm sorry, girls, but this is the best place for you to stay. This way, we can be sure that no one will see Lily before it's time for the ceremony. I'll come to get you when it's time to line up."

The girls nodded, and Georgia left the room. Lily looked at her friends, her nerves written plainly across her face.

"Lils, stop," Dana said, touching her cheek. "I absolutely forbid any nervousness."

Laura giggled. "You're going to be fine, Lil. Don't ruin your wedding day with nerves! Just concentrate on being happy."

"Take a deep breath," Olivia said. "You need to focus."

Lily nodded, and took a deep breath as Olivia has commanded. "How long are we going to have to wait?"

"About ten minutes," Olivia said, glancing at the clock hanging over the door. "So, you have ten minutes to get yourself under control."

To everyone's surprise, tears gathered in Lily's green eyes. Lily tried to smile, but it only made her tears threaten to fall.

"What's wrong, love?" Dana asked, alarm showing in her face.

"It's just hard, that's all," Lily replied, still trying desperately to fight her tears. "I always imagined that my mother would be down here with me, telling me to be calm. I never dreamed that my father wouldn't be here to walk me down the aisle. I just . . ." She paused, and took a deep breath, trying to force back the sobs that wanted to shake her body. "I just really miss them."

Dana pulled her close without saying a word. Lily clung to her, trying to swallow her tears. She shouldn't cry today of all days.

"Only happy tears, Lils," Olivia whispered, stepping closer. "This is a happy day, and I'm sure that your parents are happy for you. They're watching over you, wishing that you would only cry happy tears."

Lily nodded, and drew back from Dana. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go to pieces." Her hands flew to her face. "Oh, no! My makeup! Did I ruin it?"

"Nothing we can't fix," Dana said cheerfully, pulling her wand from her purse. "Is anyone coming?"

"No," Laura said, crossing to check the staircase. "It's all clear over here."

"Good." Dana waved her wand at Lily's face, muttering a spell.

Lily felt an instant cool breeze against her face. Dana held up a mirror, and Lily nodded. She looked exactly as she had when she had left her house.

"Thank you," she smiled. "I couldn't have done this without you girls."

* * *

Remus and Peter were standing outside the church when James and Sirius arrived on Sirius' motorbike. Peter laughed, and Remus shook his head.

"Do I even want to know how you two got here?" he asked.

"Perfectly legally," Sirius replied, parking the bike. "Remember, this thing has an invisibility function."

"Shh," Remus cautioned in a whisper. "Watch what you say. We're in mixed company."

"Right," Sirius said softly. "Well, we'll tell you all about our adventures later."

"Yeah, I think we have a wedding to get to now," James said. "And don't worry – we didn't really have any 'adventures.' We basically just got ourselves here."

"You guys had better hurry and get yourselves inside," Peter said. "That insane wedding coordinator has been out here about twenty times to ask when you two were going to get here."

"How long have you been here?" James asked with a frown. "I didn't think we were that far behind you."

"You weren't," Remus grinned. "We've only been here for about five minutes."

"We think she thought you were going to bail," Peter laughed.

"James would never do that to Lily," Sirius said, clapping his hand down on his friend's shoulder. "Right?"

"Right," James grinned. "Well, I'd better get in there before she tells Lily that I'm leaving her at the altar."

* * *

"Are you ready for this?" Sirius asked as he and James took their positions at the front of the church.

James looked at Remus and Peter in the first pew. He looked at Laura, who was preparing to begin the wedding procession at the first strains from the organ. He looked at the friends and Order members – including Dumbledore himself – in the congregation. He looked at his parents, seated behind Remus and Peter, their eyes shining with unshed tears. Finally, he looked back at Sirius. He thought of all the years of wishing that Lily would love him, and the ecstasy when she finally did. He thought of her eyes smiling at him when she promised to marry him.

"Yeah," he said with a smile. "I've been waiting for this moment for years. Yeah, I'm ready."

* * *

"You're absolutely gorgeous," Dana whispered. She arranged Lily's train to fall just right. "Are you excited?"

"Excited doesn't even begin to describe it," Lily replied. She watched as Laura made her way down the aisle. "I'm such a jumble of emotions that I can't even try to name how I feel right now."

Olivia took her first steps, and Dana and Lily moved up, closer to the door.

Dana leaned over, and kissed Lily's cheek. "You can do this."

"I know," Lily said. "I'm ready."

Georgia touched Dana's arm, indicating that it was her turn to walk down the aisle. Dana gave Lily one last beaming smile, then started her part of the procession.

Once Dana had made it to her spot opposite Sirius, the organ stopped. There was a moment's pause, then Lily's music began. She glanced at Georgia, who nodded.

Lily took a deep breath, made sure she had a firm grip on her flowers, and began to walk down the aisle.

* * *

James felt tears gather in his eyes at his first sight of Lily in her wedding gown. He didn't care that men weren't supposed to cry. There was no way he could have prepared himself for the emotions that hit him in that moment. There was no way he could stop the tears.

She looked like an angel in her white gown. There was no other way to describe her. The neckline was scooped down, revealing white skin, but not so far down as to be revealing. Lacy sleeves covered her arms to her wrists, and her skirt floated around her, ending in a long train. A gauzy veil fell over her hair, muting its red tones.

James swallowed hard. He loved her. There was no room for any other emotion in his heart. He loved this angel, and she was about to become his wife. He blinked, trying to chase back the tears.

* * *

Lily smiled as she made her way down the aisle. In some faint recess of her mind, she could hear the murmurs as she passed. Her guests obviously agreed with Dana's assessment that she was beautiful. But at that moment, the only other person in the room was James. He was watching her walk down the aisle, his eyes locked on her face. He gave her a beaming smile, and blinked rapidly.

The sight of his tears brought new tears to Lily's eyes. He really did love her. She had known that for years, but if there had ever been a whisper of a doubt in her mind, that moment chased it away. Her heart swelled with love for him. She was going to marry him. She was about to become his wife.

* * *

"My friends, we are here today to witness the union of two souls. We are asking for God's blessing on this union, which is, in all ways, a reflection of the love that He has for each one of us. Let us begin with readings from the Holy Scriptures."

James and Lily were forced to break their eye contact as they knelt down before the altar. Lily was vaguely aware of Dana fixing her train again before she knelt down herself. The only person that mattered right now was the man who was kneeling beside her – the man who would be beside her for the rest of her life.

* * *

"Please join your right hands, and repeat after me. I, James, take you, Lily . . ."

"I, James, take you, Lily," James repeated, tears gathering in his eyes again.

* * *

"Place this ring on James' finger, and repeat after me. With this ring . . ."

Lily's hands trembled as she slid the broad gold band over James' left ring finger. "With this ring," she repeated. Her hands may have shook, but her voice was firm. She meant every word that she said.

* * *

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is my great pleasure to present to you, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. James Potter!" Fr. O'Leary said, giving them a beaming smile. "James, you may kiss your bride."

James gave Lily a beaming grin, and placed his hands on her waist. Lily put her own hands on his shoulders, and tipped her face up to kiss him. He leaned down, and his lips touched hers. Unexpected tears sprang into both their eyes. They had never before shared a kiss quite like that.

* * *

Sirius tapped his knife against his full champagne glass, trying desperately not to spill it. The band leader handed him a microphone, and Sirius looked at in confusion for a moment. Lily rolled her eyes, and grabbed it from him to turn it on. She blew into it to demonstrate how it magnified sound. Sirius grinned, and winked at her.

"Ladies and gentlemen, you attention, please!" he said into the microphone.

Conversations quickly died as all attention turned to the best man. Sirius grinned.

"I know that everyone is very anxious to get to dinner," he smiled, "but before we do, I'd like to say a few words."

He paused, and smiled at James and Lily. They both looked up at him expectantly.

"Since I was eleven years old, James has been my best friend. We met on our way to school, and we've been inseparable ever since. I'm sure our teachers would say that's a bad thing, but I'm here today to tell you that it's not.

"James was the one who taught me how to be a good friend. He taught me how to work with someone else, how to share, and how to relate to others. His parents taught me what real families are like, and how to love others. James has been more than a friend to me for all these years – he's been my brother.

"Lily, I _should_ hate you," Sirius continued with a grin. "Because of you, James and I will live apart for the first time since we were little kids. Because of you, James no longer has as much time for me. You made our relationship change, and I should hate you for it – but I can't.

"Lily is one of the sweetest people I've ever known. Yes, she has a temper, but she also has this amazing ability to see the good in everyone. She sees beyond what the rest of the world sees, and finds the face that we're not always willing to show in public. She could see the good person hiding in me when everyone else thought I was just a practical joker from a bad family, and she saw the responsible, sweet person in James when everyone else was appalled that he was selected to be Head Boy.

"James has always been my brother. Now, Lily, his princess, has become my sister.

"Lily and James complement one another perfectly. They've become better people because of one another, and I'm sure they'll continue to do so in the future. They've given me hope for humanity, and for true love." He grinned at them again, and raised his glass. "And, so, ladies and gentlemen, I raise my glass to them. Please, join me in toasting my brother and my sister on their wedding day."

* * *

"Have I mentioned that you look absolutely beautiful?" Remus asked as he and Laura danced together.

"I think you have," Laura grinned. "But I'll take the compliment again."

Remus grinned. "Good. I don't handle rejection well."

Laura smiled, and kissed his cheek. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

The song ended, and the dancers stopped, waiting to see what was coming next. Remus' eyebrows shot up as he heard the unmistakable rhythm of a salsa song.

"I thought Lily didn't salsa?" he asked as they walked off the dance floor.

Laura giggled. "She's been learning. We've all be practicing with her, but we weren't allowed to tell a soul. It's a surprise for James."

"He looks surprised," Remus acknowledged, watching James' delight as he danced with Lily. "Pleasantly surprised, I should say."

Laura grinned. "They look so happy."

"They _are_ so happy," Remus replied. "It's like Sirius said – they're perfect for each other."

"I think we are, too," Laura smiled, lacing her fingers through his.

"So do I," Remus said, kissing her temple.

His heart rate picked up as Laura leaned back against him. Was this the moment he had been waiting for? Could it be any more perfect than this moment?

"Laura?" he asked.

"Hm?" she said, moving back so that she could look at him.

"I need to ask you something."

"Go ahead," she smiled.

Remus cleared his throat, and reached into his jacket pocket for the small velvet box he had been carrying with him for the past three weeks, waiting for the perfect moment. He looked at Laura, whose eyes were growing rounder by the moment.

"Nothing's certain in our world right now, Laura," Remus said softly. "Everything is in chaos – everything but us. You're the one thing I'm sure of, and I want to know that we can be sure of each other for the rest of our lives." He opened the box, revealing the heirloom ring his mother had given him so long ago. "Laura, will you marry me?"

Tears filled Laura's eyes. "Yes," she whispered. "Yes, yes, yes!"

Remus grinned, and pulled the ring out of the box. He slipped it over her finger, and she threw her arms around him.

With all eyes on James and Lily salsa dancing across the floor, no one noticed Remus and Laura as they clung to one another with tears spilling down their cheeks. No one noticed as they sat down, talking fast as they began their wedding plans. All eyes were on the other happy couple – they couple they were there to celebrate.


	18. Harsh Reality

A/N: I want to thank everyone for their kind words about the last chapter. I love you all! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Harsh Reality

"I still can't believe that we're home already."

"I know," James said a bit regretfully as he opened the front door of their house. "The Canary Islands were great, weren't they?"

"A tropical paradise," Lily smiled. "I think we should go back every year for our anniversary."

"That sounds wonderful," James grinned.

"We'll have to start planning our next trip," Lily laughed as she stepped forward to enter the house.

"Not so fast!" James laughed. He grabbed Lily, sweeping her into his arms.

"James!" she exclaimed. "What are you doing?"

"Carrying my bride over the threshold," he grinned. "I've always wanted to do that."

"Always?" Lily giggled as he set her down inside the house.

"Well – for as long as we've been together, at any rate."

Lily smiled up at him. "You're sweet, Potter."

"So are you – Potter."

Lily flushed at the sound of her new surname. Even after two weeks, she still wasn't used to the idea that she was now Lily Potter rather than Lily Evans. She smiled at James.

"I love being Lily Potter."

"I love you being Lily Potter, too," he grinned.

A flash of bright light filled the room. Groaning, James picked up the letter that had fallen with a phoenix feather.

"I guess that's it for the honeymoon," he sighed, breaking the seal on the letter.

"What is it?" Lily asked fearfully.

"Another attack," James said. "Here, touch the parchment. We only have about ten seconds until it turns into a Portkey."

Lily reached out for the parchment in her husband's hands. Within seconds, she felt the familiar tug behind her navel as she was jerked away from her home.

They were taken to a village Lily had never seen before. The number of spells being thrown about made the dusky sky explode in color; it was rather like watching a horrifying fireworks display.

"Good, you're here." Moody stepped over to them with a nod. "Black said you'd be home by now."

"We had just walked into the house," James said. "What do you need us to do?"

"Contain the Death Eaters," Moody replied.

James and Lily nodded. It was a habit by now, but they always felt the need to ask for Moody's orders before beginning.

"You know what to do," he said a bit fiercely. "Get to work."

"We're on it," James replied.

Gripping their wands, they stepped away from Moody, into the battle that was raging. Once again, the Death Eaters had spread themselves out around the village. Screams and shouts of rage could be heard from all sides. For a moment, Lily felt disoriented.

"James! Lily!"

They both turned at the sound of their names, and saw Remus running toward them.

"Thank God you're here," he said a bit breathlessly. "This is one of the worst attacks I've seen yet."

"Where are you treating the wounded?" Lily asked.

"Dana and I are fighting today. There's too many Death Eaters, and not enough of us. We haven't had a chance to set up a medical site at all."

Lily blinked. "But what about the wounded?"

Remus shook his head. "Everyone's just doing the best they can."

Lily nodded, knowing that the color was draining from her face. Was this what they had come to? They could no longer even treat those who managed to survive the horror of a Death Eater attack?

"Take that building over there, Lily," Remus said, indicating the town's hotel. "Dana's in there, and I'm sure she could use a hand. James, you and I can go over to the post office. I heard someone screaming in there a few minutes ago."

James and Lily both nodded. They looked at each other for a moment.

"I'll see you soon," James promised.

"Be careful," Lily said, feeling her throat tighten.

"I will," James replied. "You do the same."

"I promise."

With one last look, they parted ways. As she jogged to the hotel, Lily noticed Sirius dueling with a Death Eater, his face set in the familiar emotionless expression of the Aurors. Part of her wanted to stop and help him, but she kept moving forward. Sirius was nearly a full-fledged Auror. He could take care of himself. Dana, on the other hand, needed her.

Lily ran up the stairs to the hotel's front door, and threw it open. She was about to call for Dana when she checked herself. The last thing she wanted to do was to call attention to herself before it was absolutely necessary.

She moved through the main entrance, past the deserted front desk. Scorch marks on the desk told her that the Death Eaters had been here, and had likely tortured the desk aides. Forcing her mind away from that thought, she continued down the hall.

Lily walked as silently as possible. She was alert, listening for the slightest footstep that could be a Death Eater, or the quietest murmur that could be a hex.

It came all too soon. She was only halfway down the corridor when she heard a whisper behind her. Without even thinking, she threw herself down to the floor. A jet of green light flew over her head, and hit the wall behind her. With lightning reflexes, she rolled onto her stomach, and threw up her wand.

"_Stupefy_!" she yelled.

A harsh laugh met her ears. She reacted to the sound of the voice, and swung her wand arm around.

"_Expelliarmus_!" she cried.

That spell had the desired affect; a wand arced high in the air, landing several feet away from Lily. Lily jumped up from her position on the floor, and ran toward the voice she had heard. As soon as the Death Eater was in view, she pointed her wand at the body.

"_Petrificus__ Totalus_!"

The Death Eater hit the ground in a prone position. Lily ran to the unknown stranger, hoping to discover who it was. The Death Eater's mask had slipped away. Lily gasped as she looked into the face that had been revealed.

"Bellatrix?"

Bella couldn't speak, but her eyes narrowed into a glare.

"You're lucky it was me and not Sirius who found you," Lily spat. "I'll be back for you."

"Lily?"

Lily turned sharply, her wand at the ready. She relaxed as she looked into the face of Frank Longbottom.

"Is Dana still in here?" he asked tensely.

"I haven't found her yet," Lily replied. "I did find this one, though." She jerked her head back toward Bellatrix.

Frank nodded. "I'll get her out of here. Go find Dana."

Lily nodded, and continued her journey through the hotel. She had made it to the third floor when sounds of struggle reached her ears. She began moving quickly, unconcerned for the amount of noise she was making. There were obviously others there, and they were already engaged in battle. She had to find them as quickly as possible.

A flash of light under a closed door caught her attention. She ran forward, eager to help her friend.

"_Reducto_!" she yelled, pointing her wand at the closed double doors.

The doors cracked and split open, and Lily bounded into the room. As she ran in, a chandelier crashed to the floor. Lily looked around, and saw Dana jumping back.

Dana was dueling with a Death Eater, her face showing complete concentration. She was obviously calling to mind every curse she could think of, trying desperately to hold her own in the battle.

As Lily watched, a second Death Eater entered the room. Unbeknownst to Dana, he moved behind her, holding his wand in front of him.

"DANA!" Lily screamed.

Dana took her attention away from the battle to look in Lily's direction. The moment's distraction was enough. Both Death Eaters raised their wands, and Lily was certain she could see their sick smiles behind their masks.

"_Crucio_!"

"_Protego_!" Dana yelled, throwing up a Shield Charm to keep the brunt of the curse away from her. "_Reducto_!"

Her curse hit the Death Eater in the chest, and he fell backwards, choking. Ever the Healer, Dana started to move toward him to help him, even though she knew there was no help left for him. As she moved forward, the Death Eater who had been behind her moved closer, pointing his wand straight at her back.

"_Avada Kedavra_!"

"NO!" Lily screamed. She ran forward. "_Reducto_!"

She aimed the spell not at the Death Eater who had cast the Killing Curse against her friend, but at the jet of green light that was flying across the room, hoping that it would be enough to stop it. Her plan worked; the Reductor Curse splintered the Killing Curse, hurtling it toward a wall.

"You stupid girl," the Death Eater growled, turning his attention to Lily. "_Crucio_!"

Lily screamed in pain, but tried to fight against it. She heard Dana scream something, and the curse was lifted.

"Thanks," Lily said weakly as she clambered to her feet. "Are you all right?"

"Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God," Dana moaned, dancing uncertainly on the spot. Her wand clattered to the floor as she wrung her hands. "I just killed them both. Oh, God, Lily, I'm a murderer!"

"Calm down," Lily said soothingly. She coughed, and massaged her chest. "What curses did you use?"

"The Reductor Curse," Dana said softly, indicating the first Death Eater. "I shot it straight at his chest. And I used a bone-breaking curse on that one."

"You can't kill someone with a bone-breaking curse."

"You can if you aim it at their ribcage. Don't you remember what Moody taught us? The ribs splinter, and puncture the vital organs."

Lily's eyes widened. "All right." She ran her hands over her face, wishing the after-affects of the Cruciatus would wear off. "It's done, Dana. There's nothing you can do."

Tears formed in Dana's eyes. "Why did I do that? Why would I hurt someone like that?"

"Dana? Lily?"

"Up here!" Lily yelled. "Third floor ballroom!"

Pounding footsteps came down the hall, and Frank appeared in the doorway with Alice right behind him. He took in the shattered ballroom in one glance.

"Are you all right?" Alice asked, concern darkening her features. In the next instant the concern was gone, replaced by her emotionless Auror mask.

"Yes," Lily said. "Dana just saved me from a Cruciatus."

Frank shook his head. "You do attract that one, don't you?"

"Lily saved me from the Killing Curse," Dana said softly. Tears brimmed in her eyes. "But I think I killed these two."

Frank looked at the Death Eaters, then back at Dana. "Dana, you listen to me. You didn't do anything wrong. You did exactly as Alastor and I have taught you. You defended yourself and your partner. You used the necessary force. They would have done the same to you – to both of you – had they been given the chance."

Dana nodded, and tried to blink away her tears.

"We do what we have to do," Alice said softly. "The first time is the hardest."

"It gets easier to kill people?" Dana asked, looking absolutely horrified.

"No," Alice said slowly. "It just gets less shocking."

* * *

"What happened to Dana?" James asked as he and Lily waited to get a Portkey back home.

"I'll explain later," Lily said tiredly.

"Hey, guys, come with us," Sirius said, his face set. "We're all going back to our place. We need to talk."

Without a word, James and Lily took hold of the Portkey their friends were gathered around. Moments later, they were transported to the flat that Sirius and Remus shared.

With ashen faces, they took seats in the living room. Dana looked as though she was in a state of shock. Her eyes were red rimmed and open wide as she stared around the room.

"Lily, I want to talk to you," Sirius said grimly.

Lily sighed. She had been expecting this. "I'm sorry, Sirius."

"You were the one to catch her, then?"

"Yes."

"And she tried to hurt you?"

Lily screwed up her face, hating that she had to tell him this. There was no gentle way to break the news; she decided to be completely blunt and straightforward. "Bellatrix tried to kill me, Sirius."

Sirius reached up to grab his hair, and exhaled deeply. "All right. Frank's going to need a statement from you to prosecute her."

"I can take it," Laura volunteered. "Let me know when you're ready, Lils."

Lily nodded. "Are you all right with this, Sirius?"

"Do I have a choice?" he asked. "My family is what it is, Lil. I was done with Bella years ago. I just wonder how Andromeda's going to take it."

"Don't think about it," Olivia said, touching his sleeve. "You'll just make yourself crazy, and you don't need that right now."

A flash of light filled the room. The eight people gathering around collectively held their breath. Not again. They couldn't do this twice in one night.

It was Remus who picked up the parchment, broke the seal, and read the letter. His face relaxed almost instantly.

"What is it?" Peter asked tensely.

"A meeting," Remus replied. "We all have to be at Headquarters tomorrow evening at nine."

"I suppose we need to regroup," Peter mumbled. "I'm sure the Order lost at least one person tonight."

"It's going to get worse," James said heavily. "Somehow, guys, I have a feeling this is going to get worse before it gets better."

"Don't think like that," Laura said harshly.

"Do we have a choice?" James asked. "We have to think like that! We have to be prepared for the worst."

Dana drew a deep breath. "Guys – this is going to be my last meeting."

Seven pairs of eyes flew to her.

"What?" Olivia breathed. "What are you talking about, Dana?"

"James is right. This is going to get worse before it gets better, and . . . I can't do this anymore. Tonight, I was nearly killed. Tonight, I killed two people in cold blood!"

"You killed two _Death Eaters_," Sirius clarified. "There's a difference, Dana."

"Maybe to you!" she cried. "Maybe to Aurors our lives are weighted based on who we are, but I can't think that way! All life is precious, Sirius, and everyone deserves a chance to live. I denied two people that chance tonight."

"Dana, you chose between them and yourself," James said soothingly. "You saved your life and Lily's. That's nothing to be ashamed of."

"I could have found another way," she said, her voice low and desperate. "There was nothing there saying that I had to _kill_ them to stop them."

"But if you hadn't –"

"They would have killed Lily and me, I know." She paused, and single tear slid down her cheek. "I don't ever want to have to make that decision again. I don't ever want to have to struggle with the idea that I killed someone. I'm getting married, guys – I have to think of Aidan now, too."

"We're married," James said, taking Lily's hand. "And Remus and Laura are getting married. That's a pretty sorry excuse for leaving the Order, Dana."

Dana shook her head. "We're different, James. We set our priorities differently. And that's fine. We shouldn't all be the same person." She paused, clasping her hands together. "I just can't do this anymore. Don't you understand? I can't fight anymore."

Without a word, Lily crossed the room to sit down next to her. She put her arms around Dana, hugging her close. Dana clung to her, the sobs shaking her body.

"I'm sorry, Lily," she moaned. "I can't keep on like this. I have to get out now, while I still can. You understand, don't you?"

"Of course we understand," Lily murmured. "Of course we do."

* * *

The next day's meeting was very somber. The Order members were unnaturally quiet as they filed into the meeting room and took their usual places. As she looked around the room, Lily could see that the Order was not the same as it had been when she had first joined. It was not even the same as it had been at the last meeting. She looked into each face, trying to determine who had not made it through their most recent battle. Unconsciously, her eyes drifted to the picture hanging on the wall. It was a wizard photograph of the members of the Order of the Phoenix, taken the day after her wedding, just before she and James had left for the Canary Islands. Who was in that picture that wasn't in the room tonight? Swallowing hard, she pulled her eyes away from the picture as Dumbledore stepped to the front of the room.

"My friends," Dumbledore said as his eyes scanned the crowd, "welcome. As you can see, you are the fortunate ones. You are the ones who survived the battle, who 'lived to fight another day,' as it were. Not all of our members were so lucky." He paused, sadness creeping into his eyes. "Last night's battle took the lives of Marlene McKinnon and her family members. Our intelligence now suggests that she was the target of the attack."

"Why attack an entire village to kill one person?" Dedalus Diggle asked with a frown.

"Our Order members are all very well-protected," Dumbledore said. "With the wards we have placed around each of your houses, an attack against an entire village was probably the swiftest way to reach Marlene and her family."

"Good lord," James muttered. "I never realized . . ."

"This attack suggests that the names of our members are being distributed among the Death Eaters," Dumbledore continued. "There would be no other reason for an attack against Marlene. She was a pureblood, and aside from Marlene herself, her family has remained quite neutral in the battle."

Murmurs broke out across the room. Dumbledore silenced them with a raised hand.

"We have no reason to suspect that a spy is working against us," he said as if to destroy any rumors before they could begin. "We are an active organization, and we are present at each Death Eater attack. Not all of us are Aurors, so that must appear suspicious. It would not be that difficult to track our members.

"My friends, the point I am making is that we are in danger. We have always been in danger, but the threat is now magnified. I ask you all to exercise extreme caution in all that you do." He paused, and looked around at all of them. "As the war we are fighting becomes more ominous, we are all forced to make choices that will determine the best course of action for ourselves and our families. Tonight, I am offering all of you a chance to leave the Order. I know that you all signed a binding magical when you entered the Order, but I am fully willing to declare it null and void if you choose to leave."

Lily drew in her breath sharply. This was it – this was what Dana wanted to do. With the choice before her, Lily knew that for all she had said to comfort Dana, she could not understand. There was a battle to be fought, and she intended to fight it. She would not rest until they had won.

As the meeting adjourned, Dana made her way to Dumbledore. Lily looked away. She couldn't watch as her friend dealt with an impossible decision.

* * *

"I have information," Lily said as she walked into Minnie's office.

"Shut the door," Minnie replied. "What happened?"

"Have you heard about the attack on Friday night?"

"Yes," Minnie replied. "There was a blurb about it in the paper on Saturday. Rather sketchy, if you ask me."

"Who covered it?"

"Some new kid. I think his name is Lestrange . . . Yeah, Rodolphus Lestrange. Honestly, they give all the good stories to the ones who can't handle them. He's completely terrified of writing something that might offend someone. I'm sure that either one of us could have done a far better job with it! I mean, he didn't even mention the number of . . ." Minnie trailed off, and looked at Lily, who had an odd look on her face. "Lily? Are you all right?"

"Yeah," Lily said slowly. "There's just something about that name that sounds familiar to me, that's all."

"He's been here for a couple weeks," Minnie supplied. "Actually, I think he started while you were taking time off to get ready for your wedding. I don't think you've met him yet."

"Well, maybe it's time that I did," Lily said, standing up from her chair.

"Hold on!" Minnie exclaimed. "You said you had news?"

"Oh, right." Lily sat back down. "Minnie, I was there."

"There?"

"At the site of the attack."

Minnie's eyes grew wide. "What on earth were you doing there? That's about as far from Diagon Alley as you can get."

Lily drew a deep breath. It was time to be honest. "Min, I'm going to tell you something, but you have to swear that you won't tell anyone else."

Minnie grabbed her wand, and put a Silencing Charm on her office. She then muttered an incantation that was unfamiliar to Lily, and swept her wand in a long arc around the room. Lily raised her eyebrows.

"It's a spell to check for any means of listening in on a conversation." She placed her wand back on her desk. "Whatever you're about to say, Lily, it's not going to leave this office."

Lily nodded, knowing that she could trust Minnie. "I was at the scene of the attack for the same reason I've been at every other attack. I'm a member of the Order of the Phoenix."

Minnie's eyes opened wide, and her eyebrows shot up. "You mean it really does exist?"

"You've heard of it?"

"Everyone's _heard_ of it, but there's never been confirmation that it's a real organization."

"Well, I'm living proof that it is."

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, Lil, I can't believe it!"

"I should have told you ages ago."

Minnie shook her head. "I can't believe you're telling me at all. Aren't you supposed to move in complete secrecy?"

"Yes, but apparently word of our members' names is getting out. Our secrecy is slipping away from us." Lily paused. "That attack was orchestrated to get to one of our members. And they succeeded – not only was she killed, but so was her entire family."

Minnie gasped. "I had heard that the Order protects its own."

"It does – to the extent that it can. Marlene certainly isn't the first Order member to die."

Minnie shook her head. "I'm confused. Why are you telling me all of this?"

"Because I need your help. If these Death Eaters are now targeting people personally, I think we can discover who their main targets are, and the best way to thwart any plans they have against those people."

"Are you trying to save Order members?"

"Yes and no. I want to help the Order, of course, but this attack has made me look at the larger scope of what's happening. In all the research that the two of us have done, we've always given up on looking for specific reasons for attack, considering the Death Eaters to move in random patterns, attacking anyone who isn't pureblood or who opposes them. This last attack suggests that there is nothing random about any move they make."

Minnie looked at her blankly.

"You don't have to help me if you don't want to," Lily said quickly. "This is going to be really dangerous, and there's no reason for you to get involved if you don't want to. I just thought that with everything else we've done together, you might be interested."

Minnie nodded slowly. "We're going to have to do a lot of undercover work. And we're going to need contacts on the inside."

"You mean you want to do it?"

"I may not be a member of the Order of the Phoenix, Lily, but that certainly doesn't mean that I don't want to fight the Death Eaters. I will do anything to make this a safer world for our children."

"Good," Lily replied, relief obvious on her face. She wasn't sure how she would have proceeded without Minnie's assistance. "Now, I need to go met our new coworker."

"His office is the second one from the end on the left. I'm warning you, though, he's sort of odd."

"Odd I can handle," Lily said grimly. "Shading the truth, I can't."

* * *

As she walked down the hall, Lily tried desperately to remember where she had seen the name Lestrange before. She was sure that it meant something to her, but she couldn't remember what.

She found his office easily, and tapped on the open door. A thin man looked up, a nervous expression crossing his face.

"Yes?" he asked. His eyes darted past Lily to see if there was anyone else with her.

"Hi," she said, smiling easily. "I was away when you started, but I wanted to come down to say hello, and to welcome you to the department."

"Oh," Rodolphus said, his expression clearing. "Come in."

Lily smiled her thanks, and stepped into his office. She sat down across from him at his desk. "I'm Lily Potter," she said, extending her hand.

An odd expression crossed his face as he shook her hand. It was almost as if he was afraid of her.

"How are you settling in?" she asked conversationally.

"Oh, fine," he said. "I like working here."

"Good," Lily said, thinking that conversation with this one would be difficult. "Did you attend Hogwarts? I don't remember you."

"No, I went to Beauxbatons," he replied. "I moved here after graduation."

"You didn't want to stay in France?"

"My girlfriend – now my wife – is here, and so I needed to be, too."

Lily smiled. "I just got married myself," she said, looking at the pictures on his desk. "That's where I was when you . . ." Her voice trailed off as she recognized the woman in the pictures on her coworker's desk. "Is that your wife?" she asked in a slightly strangled voice. Everything was falling together. She had heard his name because Sirius had spoken of his cousin's marriage.

"Yes," Rodolphus said. Something flashed in his eyes. "Her name is Bellatrix. Actually, you might know her. She went to Hogwarts."

"I think we've met," Lily replied, trying to keep her expression neutral. _She tried to kill me only a few days ago_, she added mentally. "Well, I did just want to come in to say hello. I really do need to get back to work."

Rodolphus nodded. "I'll see you around, I'm sure."

Lily nodded. "See you," she said as she left his office.

She nearly ran down the hall, and threw open the door to Minnie's office. Minnie dropped her quill as Lily came charging in.

"Lil!" she exclaimed. "What's going on?"

Lily waved her wand, slamming the door shut. "Minnie, that man – Rodolphus Lestrange – his wife's a Death Eater."

"How do you know?" Minnie asked in a hushed voice.

"I helped capture her Friday night."

* * *

"Black!"

"Yes, sir?" Sirius asked, pulling his wand down to his side. He had been practicing casting the Cruciatus Curse with the rest of his class. Despite the fears he and Olivia had harbored, Frank had provided them with dummies to practice cursing.

"We need to talk," Moody said, leading Sirius away from the class. "I have been informed that Bellatrix Lestrange is your cousin."

"Unfortunately."

"I wanted you to know before it hit the papers," Moody growled. "She's going to get off."

"How?" Sirius asked. "Lily already gave her statement saying that Bella tried to kill her. Frank was the one to find her, and he was the one handling her case. What more do you need to prosecute?"

"Apparently, she was working under the Imperius Curse."

"Impossible!" Sirius exploded. "Bellatrix has been a Death Eater longer than I want to think about! She's the one who was always trying to drag my brother into Voldemort's organization!"

"For goodness sake, Black, keep your voice down!" Moody barked. "She's telling the Ministry that she was under the Imperius, and that she was commanded to kill Lily. She sobbed quite convincingly, and has been released. As of noon today, she's free."

"Damn her!" Sirius yelled. Catching the look in Moody's eye, he lowered his voice. "How could they believe that? Given my family's history, they should have locked her up in Azkaban to rot for the rest of her miserable life."

"Given your family's history, I should never have allowed you to join our Auror program," Moody growled. "But I was willing to take a chance on you. Apparently, someone was willing to take a chance on her."

"This is lunacy," Sirius said, his eyes sparkling dangerously. "No good can come of this. Bella is one of the most vindictive people I know. She's never going to forgive Lily and Frank for this. Never."

"It's out of our hands, Black. The Ministry made our decision for us."

"Can't the Ministry do anything right?"

"Well, they've promoted one of Potter's best friends," Moody said with a hint of a smile.

"Fudge?" Sirius asked, raising his eyebrows.

"They made him Junior Minister of the Department of Magical Catastrophes," Moody affirmed. "Which is a catastrophe in itself, if you ask me. That man is completely incompetent."

"Talk to James," Sirius replied. He sighed, and ran his hands through his hair, using the habit he had picked up from James. "There's really nothing else that can be done about Bella?"

"I'm sorry," Moody replied. "Believe me, Black, there's nothing I'd rather do than lock her up, but we have to obey what the Ministry says. Maybe we'll get a chance to take her in again, and maybe that time they'll believe us."

"I just hope it's before she gets a chance to find Lily and Frank," Sirius said. "Because when she does, we'll need Fudge's new department there to pick up the pieces."


	19. Propositions

A/N: I'm sorry you had to wait so long for this chapter. For some reason, it took me forever to write it. Now, I want to address two concerns I've been seeing over and over again before we start today!

1. Yes, I am fully aware that Olivia, Laura, and Dana are no where to be seen in the books. However, neither was Remus until the third book – and Hagrid did write to James and Lily's _friends_ to get pictures for Harry in the first book. So, did they all die? Well, you'll have to wait and see! Believe me, I have plans for all of them.

2. Yeah, James and Lily have been married for an entire chapter, and there's still no Harry! What am I thinking? Well, first of all, I'm thinking that I wanted them married before Lily got pregnant, and second, I'm thinking that they need to defy Voldemort thrice! One more time to go, guys. Please be patient!

I'm sorry if any of that sounded rude. (My mom always says that I'm rude about correcting people.) Please be patient with me. I really feel that going slowly is best with this story. Remember how well it worked out with James and Lily's romance? All right, that's all from me and my semi-rant – now, on to the story!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Propositions

"Have fun at work, love."

"We don't joke about that," James said, giving Lily a grin. He leaned over to kiss her cheek. "I'll see you tonight."

"I'll be here," Lily replied as she, too, prepared to Apparate to work. "Take care."

"I will. You, too."

"I will," Lily promised.

With two pops, both Potters Disapparated.

James Apparated into his wing of the Ministry offices. He made his way down the corridor to his office, calling greetings to his coworkers.

"James, have you heard?"

James stopped, and turned to face the office to his left, which belonged to Emmeline Vance. A fellow Order member, Dumbledore had only recently placed her in the Department of International Magical Cooperation with James.

"Heard what?" James asked, stepping into her office.

"We have a new Head of Department."

"I didn't expect them to find someone so quickly."

"No, neither did I," Emmeline said, her tone thoughtful. She waved her wand, shutting the door behind James. "This man that they've chosen . . . I'm not sure that he got this job on ability."

"You've met him?"

"We walked in together. He said he's going to have a meeting with the department this afternoon."

"So we have to work with him all morning without meeting him?"

"Yeah, that's pretty much it." She paused. "He seemed a bit odd to me."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I'm not exactly sure . . . I just know that something isn't right about him."

"Do you think we should keep an eye on him as much as on what's going on in foreign lands?"

Emmeline smiled at James' word choice. "I'm afraid so. Aside from the odd feeling I got from him, I'm truly not sure how he got this job. Seriously, James, he just doesn't seem bright enough. And waiting to meet with your department until the afternoon? He doesn't seem like he has much drive."

"Drive was all that Fudge had."

"Well, I think we've taken a step back, then."

James shook his head. "And I thought it couldn't get worse than Fudge."

"Oh, I think it can," Emmeline said grimly. "We're in for it now, James."

* * *

Minnie walked straight into Lily's office, her face set in determination. Lily looked up from reading her morning memos in surprise.

"Good morning," she said.

"Morning," Minnie replied shortly. She closed the door behind her, and cast a silencing charm on the room. "We need to get to work."

"All right," Lily said, shoving the memos aside. "Do you have new information?"

"Not exactly. It's more like I've been working on a plan of action."

"Good," Lily replied, leaning forward. "What's your plan?"

"We need to find sources close to the Death Eaters. Preferably, sources who are Death Eaters. We need someone who's willing to work both sides. They'll feed us information, and help us get inside if we need to."

Lily nodded slowly. "And how exactly are we going to convince someone to do that? If Voldemort catches them as a spy, he'll kill them without a second thought."

"That's part of the problem," Minnie admitted. "We're looking for someone with nothing to lose."

Lily looked thoughtful. "Or someone who's convinced they won't lose anything."

"A recent graduate," Minnie grinned. "That's the time when you feel most invincible."

"And are the most willing to make rash, stupid decisions," Lily pointed out. "I'm not sure that's what we're looking for."

"True," Minnie said thoughtfully. "I know what we need to do this, I just don't know how to get it – or them, as it were."

Lily remained silent, thinking. Who could help them find spies? A dozen names flew through her head, each easily dismissed, until . . .

"Minnie, I think I know who can help us!" she exclaimed.

"Who?" Minnie asked, leaning forward.

"Dumbledore!"

"Really?"

"He knows about my Order membership, and he was really excited about me working for the Prophet, hoping that I could do things just like this. I'm sure he'd help us find someone with the appropriate connections."

"Can you talk to him?"

"I'll send him an owl right now."

"Be careful how you word it," Minnie cautioned needlessly. "We don't want it to fall into the wrong hands."

"I know," Lily said.

She picked up her quill, and held it over a sheet of parchment. After a moment's thought, she began her short message.

_"Professor Dumbledore,_

_"I am currently writing a story for the Daily Prophet that pertains to your area of expertise. Would it be possible to schedule a meeting with you to obtain a clarification, and perhaps a statement? I would greatly appreciate any help you could give. _

_"Thank you!_

_"Lily Potter"_

"There," Lily said, handing the parchment to Minnie. "What do you think?"

Her eyes scanned the brief message before looking back up at Lily. "Perfect."

"Excellent." Lily sealed the letter, and stood up. "I'll go send it right now. Knowing Dumbledore, we'll have a reply by this afternoon."

* * *

An owl flew into James' office, dropping a piece of parchment on his desk. He looked up briefly.

"Thanks," he said.

The owl hooted softly, and took off. A scream in the hall indicated that the owl had left more than a memo in the department. James laughed, and picked up his memo. He raised his eyebrows at the short message.

_"Department meeting in staff room at 3:30 today."_

James had not even put the memo back on his desk when Emmeline appeared in his doorway, obviously quite upset. He smiled at her.

"I take it you've heard from our new boss?"

Emmeline walked all the way in, shutting the door behind her. "What the hell is this? This is ridiculous! There isn't even a verb in his one-line message!"

"Calm down, grammar police," James grinned.

"James, grammar was hardly my point."

"I get your point," he replied, the smile sliding off his face. "It's going to be tough to work for him, but I think we can do it."

"I can't wait to tell Dumbledore about this," she glowered.

"Whoa," James said, sitting up straighter. "There's no need to involve Dumbledore."

"What to you mean? He placed us here to –"

"To work with other countries," James interjected. "He didn't place us here to spy on our coworkers. This Nott guy hasn't done anything to us. We can't go running to Dumbledore just because our boss can't construct a sentence."

Emmeline dropped down into the chair opposite James. "It's just so frustrating! I _know_ he's not going to be good for the department!"

"Yes, I'm pretty sure of that, too," James said calmly. "But let's just lay low for awhile, and watch what happens. Everything could turn out better than we think."

Emmeline gave him a look that clearly said she didn't believe him.

"Em, we can't let everyone know that we're working for Dumbledore. Half the point of us being here is that no one knows what we're really doing. We'll lay low, and keep an eye on Nott. If anything about him doesn't add up, we'll go to Dumbledore. But we can't go to him yet. We don't have anything to report other than that the guy seems like an idiot, and that's not enough to get us anywhere." He grinned. "Really, how much did Fudge know?"

She opened her mouth to make a comment, but James stopped her with a look.

"Dumbledore can't interfere in the Ministry too much," he said softly. "It'll look suspicious. No one can know why we're here, Emmeline. We're Ministry employees here, not Order members. We can't forget that."

"I know," Emmeline said quietly. "I just wish Dumbledore was the only one we had to report to."

"Join the club." James ran his hand through his hair. "Well, let's try to get some work done before our 3:30 deadline."

* * *

Lily walked though the door of the Three Broomsticks, clutching her work bag. Madam Rosmerta smiled at her.

"Hello, Lily," she greeted her.

"Hi," Lily said, glancing around the bar. She felt a bit nervous in spite of herself. This meeting could prove to be rather stressful.

"Meeting Ludo Bagman again?" Madam Rosmerta asked with a knowing smile.

"No, not this time," Lily replied, still casting her eyes around the crowded room.

"I believe Mrs. Potter is looking for me."

Lily turned around with a smile. "Hello, Professor."

"Hello," Professor Dumbledore smiled. "Madam Rosmerta, do you have an out of the way table we could use for our interview?"

"Of course," Madam Rosmerta smiled, leading them to a secluded corner. "Can I get you anything today?"

"Just a cup of tea for me," Lily said.

"I'll have a brandy," Dumbledore said, giving Lily a wink.

"Right away."

Once Madam Rosmerta had left, Dumbledore turned to Lily with twinkling eyes. As always, he instantly put her at ease.

"Now, Lily, I have an odd feeling that tells me that your message had nothing to do with the reason we're actually here," he smiled. "Am I close to the truth?"

"Yes, indeed," Lily said, feeling immensely relieved.

"Well, then, I suggest that you tell me what it is that we need to discuss."

Lily nodded. "Professor, as you know, one of my colleagues and I have been researching the Death Eaters," she said quietly.

Dumbledore nodded, then silenced her with a look. Madam Rosmerta reappeared carrying their drinks.

"Here you are," she smiled. "Is there anything else I can get for you right now?"

"No, I don't think so," Dumbledore replied.

Madam Rosmerta nodded, and left them alone. Dumbledore took a sip of his drink, and nodded at Lily to continue.

"We started by researching probable Death Eaters," she said. "We have written a piece that incriminates several people, which we are planning to present to our editors by the end of the week."

Dumbledore nodded. "Your information has been invaluable thus far," he said. "You have helped the Order far more than you realize."

"Thank you," Lily smiled. "But now that Minnie and I have seen what we can accomplish, we want to probe deeper. We want to infiltrate the Death Eaters, and to expose their plans before they have a chance to enact them."

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows. "You want to spy on the Death Eaters?"

"Well, we actually want to put the pieces together, and to write the stories that will delay or stop their plans," she said slowly. "We were hoping to find sources on the inside who could do the actual spying."

Dumbledore nodded, understanding what she was asking of him. "And you want me to help you find these spies."

"If you can," Lily replied.

Dumbledore nodded again. "I think I will be able to help you."

"Really?" Lily nearly exclaimed.

"Providing you use the utmost discretion," Dumbledore said with a hint of a smile.

Lily smiled sheepishly, and lowered her voice. "And you would be willing to put me in contact with these people?"

"I will need to speak with them first. I'll contact you as soon as I have spoken to them."

"Thank you, Professor."

"Thank _you_, Lily," Dumbledore replied. "Your dedication to our cause is admirable – and highly useful."

"Voldemort killed my parents, sir," Lily said, her voice edged with steel. "I will do anything I can to fight against him."

* * *

"Hello?" Remus called as he walked into his flat.

Silence met his ears. He sighed. He always came home from his training before Sirius came home from his. Undoing the clasp of his robes, he walked down the hall to his bedroom to change. It was times like these that he missed James the most.

In the days before James had married Lily, the two young men had always arrived home at the same time. In the hours before Sirius came home, they passed the time together, sharing the events of their days, playing Exploding Snap or chess, arguing over whose turn it was to make dinner. Now, Remus was alone when he came home.

He changed into an older set of robes, one that his mother would tell him to replace if she knew he still had them. It didn't really matter what he was wearing. He didn't intend to go out again tonight.

Remus was just walking back down the hall toward the kitchen for a snack when he heard a knock on the door. His eyebrows went up in surprise, and his hand went to his wand in a defensive gesture. No one ever knocked on the door; they always just Apparated or Flooed inside.

He moved cautiously to the door, and opened it slowly. Two men he had never seen before were standing outside it.

"May I help you?" he asked.

"Are you Remus Lupin?" one of them asked.

"Yes," Remus replied.

"We need to talk to you."

"About what?"

The second man looked around a bit nervously. "Can we come inside before we have this discussion?"

Remus nodded, and opened the door wider. His hand was still clenched around his wand. He wasn't sure he had made the right decision in letting them into his home.

"Mr. Lupin, we are here with an offer for you," the first man said as the door closed behind them.

"What sort of offer?"

"An offer to make your wildest dreams come true."

Remus laughed. "What do you know of my dreams? We've never met before. I don't even know your names!"

"Everyone has the same dreams," the second man said. "Dreams of happiness. Superiority. Power."

Remus frowned. "I'll agree with happiness, but I've never desired superiority or power."

"Really?" The first man had picked up the conversation again. "Not even in your other form?"

Remus took a step back. "What are you talking about?"

"We know all about you. We know what you are, and about the monster you become during the full moon. We know that the werewolf inside you desires only power and superiority."

"You know nothing about me," Remus said angrily. "If you knew anything about me at all, you would know that I have spent my life fighting against the werewolf. You would know that I don't listen to his desires. I only listen to mine."

"You should listen to his desires," the second man said. "He is a part of you – a part of you that we want to help."

Remus was about to make another angry statement, but stopped himself. They wanted to help? Could they help him rid himself of the wolf? The second man quickly explained his statement.

"We can offer you the chance to indulge the werewolf's greatest desires and fantasies."

"You are sick!" Remus exclaimed, his anger returning. "Both of you are completely sick! There is absolutely _no way_ that I will ever choose to indulge anything that wolf desires!"

"You haven't heard all we have to say," the first man said defensively. "Mr. Lupin, we are here from the Death Eaters. We want you to join our ranks, and to help bring the werewolves of England around to our cause. We want you to join our army, to help us fight for the way of the Dark Lord, to –"

"STOP!" Remus yelled, his eyes sparkling dangerously. "I will have no part of this! I will not become a Death Eater!"

"Are you saying that you oppose us?" the first man asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Yes, that's what I'm bloody saying!" Remus yelled. "Get out of my home before I have to hex you out!"

"You will regret this," the first man said. "This is your last chance to reconsider."

"GET OUT!" Remus roared, bringing his wand up to force them out of the flat. "I never want to see you or any of your mates again!"

"You will regret it," the second man said. "We have ways of making you pay."

"No price is too high," Remus snarled. "I want you out."

Nodding at one another, and then at Remus, the two men left. Remus slammed the door behind them, then sank down to the floor against it. The entire conversation swam through his head, with his own final words playing over and over. Was it true? Or was there a price that was too high?

"Good lord," he muttered. "What if they hurt Laura?"

* * *

_"James,_

_"Please meet me in my office at Hogwarts at 5:30 on Friday._

_"Sincerely,_

_"Albus Dumbledore"_

Clutching his short message from Dumbledore, James found himself wandering through the halls of Hogwarts for the first time since the day he had moved out of Gryffindor Tower. He had never expected to be here again, but was pleasantly surprised to find the school unchanged. He had nearly gone though one of the secret passages into the school for old times' sake, but had changed his mind. Dumbledore obviously wanted to discuss something important with him; this was hardly the time for acting like a carefree schoolboy.

"Ah, Mr. Potter. Right on time."

James smiled as he approached the gargoyle that guarded Dumbledore's office. The Headmaster was standing in front of it, waiting for James. "Hello, Professor."

"Come," Dumbledore smiled. "Let's go up to my office to talk." He turned back to the gargoyle. "Jelly slug."

They remained silent until they had reached Dumbledore's office. He motioned for James to sit, and took his own seat behind his desk.

"James, I called you here to discuss your job."

James nodded slowly. "Is there something more I need to do at work?"

"Well . . . not exactly."

James frowned slightly. "What do you mean, sir?"

"How are you getting on with your new Head of Department?"

The question took him aback. "You mean Nott?"

"Unless the Ministry has appointed a new Head that I haven't heard about," Dumbledore smiled.

"He's . . . well . . ."

"Be honest, James."

James smiled apologetically. "He's horrible, sir. Completely ridiculous. He has no idea what he's doing, and he's quickly destroying all the good that our department has done in the past. Emmeline and I have discussed it; we're not sure how he got his job."

"He has the right connections," Dumbledore stated. "But, then, so do you."

James raised his eyebrows. "Sir?"

"James, I'm prepared to remove you from your position with the Ministry."

"Excuse me?"

"Yes, you heard me right," Dumbledore chuckled. "I had Miss Vance join the department in anticipation of this moment."

"Sir, I don't mean to be rude, but I do need my job. I need to work."

"Yes, I'm aware of that," Dumbledore replied. "And I have no intention of removing you until you have another job in place. I have a suggestion for your next job as well."

"What would you suggest?"

"I would suggest that you apply for a vacancy here at Hogwarts," Dumbledore smiled. "Our Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is retiring at the end of this school year. I'd like for you to apply for the position."

"You want me to be a teacher?" James asked blankly.

"Exactly," Dumbledore beamed.

"But, sir, I don't know anything about teaching."

"You will receive training. I want to have our next teacher hired by the end of the month. That will give you the last term of the school year to work with the staff, and to learn the procedures for next year." He paused, and looked at the younger man. "James, I know you are young, and I'm sure that you've never considered teaching. However, I observed the way the students naturally followed you when you were a student here, and I watched you accept the responsibility of being Head Boy. I am confident that you will learn to conduct yourself as a teacher, and a good one at that. I am also certain that very few people alive today are as skilled in defensive magic as you – and most of those are employed as Ministry Aurors."

James looked at him speechlessly.

"I don't expect your decision tonight," Dumbledore stated. "Think about it, and talk it over with Lily."

James nodded dumbly. "When do you need to know?"

"I would like your resume and a letter of interest by the end of the week."

* * *

"Lily, Minnie, could I see you, please?"

Lily and Minnie exchanged a glance, and followed their editor, Damon, into his office. He motioned for them to sit down, and shut the door.

"What is this that you've given me?"

"It's an article about several Death Eaters, sir," Minnie said at once.

"They aren't identified Death Eaters yet," Lily added. "That's the point of the article."

"And this is local news?" Damon asked.

"They are local citizens," Lily said. "And their work affects local people."

"And your sources?"

"Very reliable," Minnie said. "And very anonymous."

Damon frowned. "I don't understand. When were you ever assigned to cover this?"

"We weren't," Lily said. "But we did it anyway."

"It's something we had to do," Minnie added. "And, as I'm sure you noticed, we managed to get our other stories done as well."

"Yes, you did," Damon said slowly. "Ladies, this requires quite a bit of research."

"Yes, we're aware."

"And it requires intimate knowledge of many sources."

"Yes, sir."

"And it requires certainty that you are right."

Minnie and Lily exchanged glances. "We are," they said as one.

"You have no doubts?"

"No."

Damon nodded. "I'm going to pass this to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement today, to see if it can help them before it is released. We'll print it in three days."

"You're really going to print it?" Lily exclaimed, barely stopping herself from jumping out of her chair. For all their certainty, she and Minnie had feared that their story would find itself in the bin.

"I'm going out on a limb here, ladies. If you're wrong, you'll both find yourselves writing pieces for the gossip columns for the rest of your careers."

"And if we're right?" Minnie asked, exchanging a grin with Lily.

"We'll see."

* * *

"Lupin, could I see you for a moment?"

"Sure." Remus stopped the spell he had been casting, and stepped away from table he and Dana were working at. Without thinking about it, he took his wand with him.

His teacher, Healer Byrd, was waiting for him by the door. He gave Remus a rather sympathetic look, and led him into the hall. The head of the Healer training program, Healer Winters, was waiting for them. Remus looked between the two men, both of whom wore very grave expressions. Byrd's expression was tempered with sympathy; Winters' with steely anger.

"Mr. Lupin, we have received some very distressing news about you," Healer Winters said slowly.

Remus frowned slightly. "Oh?" What could he have done that required such a severe reception from the head of his program?

"Yes. It has recently come to our attention that you are . . ." he lowered his voice, "a werewolf."

The color drained from Remus' face, and he stumbled back a step. He felt his fingers grow cold.

"Is it true, then?" Healer Byrd asked quietly, his expression practically begging Remus to deny the charge.

"Yes," Remus whispered. "Yes, it's true."

"Mr. Lupin, you should have told us this ages ago," Healer Winters said, his eyes glittering with barely-contained anger. "You have endangered our staff, our students, and our patients with your presence in our program."

Fearing what was coming, Remus began to shake. "I never thought that I was endangering anyone, sir. The only time I am a danger is during the evening of the full moon, and I am always secluded for that. I would never do anything that would put another human being in danger."

"Be that as it may, we are still not able to confidently predict the nature of a werewolf," Healer Winters said, his tone hard. "Mr. Lupin, I am dismissing you from our program."

"What?" Remus gasped. He staggered back another step, his wand falling from his hand.

"Surely you can understand," Healer Byrd said softly. "We can't take the chance that you would hurt one of the patients, or anyone else."

"It isn't safe to have you in the program," Healer Winters said harshly. "Had we known of your condition in the beginning, you would never have been accepted."

Remus drew a shaky breath, trying to pull himself together. "Sir, I spent seven years at Hogwarts without any adverse consequences as a result of my condition. I never harmed another student, nor any of the teachers. I would never have applied to your program if I thought of myself as a danger to others. I'm sure that I can finish without any incidents."

"And what then?" Healer Winters asked. "You will be a certified Healer, correct? What of your patients?" He shook his head. "No, Mr. Lupin, you cannot be trusted. Please collect your things. You are free to go home."

"I can't even finish the day?"

"The sooner you are gone, the better for all of us."

Remus had no clear recollection of how he got home. He somehow managed to stumble into his flat, dropping his training supplies on the floor. He made his way to the couch, and sank down onto it, staring straight ahead. He had no idea how long he sat like that.

Several hours later, Laura, Apparated into the flat.

"Hi, love!" she said cheerfully. "Are you ready to go out for dinner? I thought we could . . ." She trailed off as she looked at Remus. "Remus?" she asked hesitantly. "Are you all right, love?"

Remus barely turned his head in her direction. "No."

Laura sat down next to him, and took his hand in hers. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"I'm sorry," he said. With that, tears began to fall down his cheeks.

"My God!" Laura exclaimed. "Remus, what happened to you?"

Remus didn't say anything. His head fell forward, and landed on Laura's shoulder. Not knowing what else to do, she put her arms around him, holding him close, gently rocking him back and forth.

When Sirius came in, it was to this scene. Laura was holding Remus, who was sobbing into her shoulder.

"What --?"

"I have no idea," Laura said honestly. "He's been like this ever since I got here."

"Moony?" Sirius said, kneeling down in front of them. "Are you all right, mate?"

Remus lifted his head from Laura's shoulder, his face tear-streaked and miserable. "They know, Padfoot. They know about me."

"Who knows what about you?"

Remus looked over at Laura. "I've failed you," he said softly.

"You could never fail me, Remus. Never," she said empathetically. "Tell us what happened."

Remus shifted his eyes back to Sirius. It was too painful to confess his failure to Laura. "They found out that I'm a werewolf," he said quietly. "I've been dismissed from Healer training. I've lost my career."

Laura sucked in her breath quickly, and Sirius closed his eyes.

"How did they find out?" Sirius asked.

Remus shook his head. "I don't know," he replied.

In the back of his mind, he wasn't sure if that was true. What if he did know? He was afraid of what – or whom – the source of all this pain could be. He hadn't told anyone about the Death Eaters' visit, fearing the repercussions. Now, the time was nearing when he would have to tell his friends exactly what had happened.

* * *

"So then he asked me to apply for the position! Can you believe it?"

"James, that's incredible!" Lily exclaimed. "Are you going to do it?"

"I don't know . . . I just don't know. It's sort of scary, don't you think? I've never thought of myself as a teacher before."

"I'll bet you could do it," Lily replied. "You always helped me a lot with Transfiguration when we were at Hogwarts – well, seventh year at any rate."

"Thanks, love," James laughed

"No, James, I'm being serious! I think you'd be a great teacher."

"Are you required to say that?"

"Not at all! I would never tell you to do something that I thought was all wrong for you."

"You think I should apply for it, then?"

"What do you have to lose? It's not exactly as if you're overly attached to the job you have now. The worst that could happen is that you'll get the job and hate it. Even then, you'll just be back where you are now."

"That's true," James grinned.

"James!"

"Is that Sirius?" Lily asked with a smile, hearing the voice come from her husband's robes.

"Yeah," James grinned, pulling his mirror from his pocket. "What's up, mate?"

"James," Sirius said, concern etched in every line of his face, "you've got to get over here. Bring Lily."

"What happened?" James asked, the color draining from his own face.

"It's Remus," Sirius replied tensely. "Hurry, mate. We need you."


	20. Questions of the Future

A/N: Sorry about the delay. Believe me, I had the first part of this done within a day of posting the last chapter – it just took me awhile to finish it. Well, enjoy!

I don't own Harry Potter

Questions of the Future

James and Lily Apparated instantly to Sirius and Remus' flat. When they arrived, Remus, Sirius, and Laura were huddled together on the couch. Remus looked up at them, misery the only expression on his face.

"I'm sorry to be such a problem," he said softly.

Lily was at his side in an instant, pulling him into a comforting embrace. James looked at Sirius, who nodded, and stood from the couch. Lily took his seat, and Sirius crossed to James.

"What happened?" James asked softly.

"The Healers found out that Remus is a werewolf," Sirius said quietly. "They think that he's a danger to their patients and the other Healers, so they booted him out of the program." He balled his hands into fists. "To consider _Remus_, of all people, a danger, is lunacy! He's one of the best people I know!"

"I know," James said heavily. "They obviously don't know him very well."

"No, obviously not," Sirius agreed.

"How did they find out?" James asked.

"I don't know," Sirius replied slowly. "I asked Remus that same question, but he said that he didn't know."

"'He _said_ that he didn't know?'" James repeated, shrewdly analyzing the situation. "You don't believe him?"

"I don't know . . . I feel like he's not telling us everything."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you remember when we were kids, and Remus tried to come up with a cover story? Until seventh year, he was never as good at it as we were. He'd get this look in his eyes, and we'd know he was lying."

"Yeah," James grinned. "I always noticed it when he talked about going to see his mum. That's why he would never look us in the eye when he told us he was leaving."

Sirius nodded. "James, I saw that look when he said he didn't know how they found out. There's something he's not telling us."

A loud crack split the air, and Dana appeared. She took one look around the room, and ran to Remus. She dropped down to her knees in front of him, and took his cold hands in hers.

"What happened?" she asked softly. "Healer Byrd came back in without you, and he wouldn't tell me where you were. Are you all right?"

Remus shook his head. "I've been removed from Healer training, Dana."

Dana gasped. "Why on earth would they do that to you, Remus? What do they think that you did? We'll go talk to them, and tell them that it wasn't you. You'd never do anything wrong, Remus!"

"I didn't," Remus sighed. "But something was done to me long ago, and it was enough to end my days of Healer training. Dana, they expelled me because they found out that I'm a werewolf."

Dana frowned. "They didn't know that before?"

"Of course not," Remus replied. "Why would I tell them something like that?"

"I guess I thought you'd have to," she shrugged. "But that's the only reason they had for getting rid of you?"

"So they said."

"God, Remus, this is awful," Dana said, leaning in to hug him. "I can't believe they'd do that to you. It's disgusting!" She paused, and looked deeply into his eyes. "Do you want me to quit? I will if it's what you want."

"Why would I want that?" Remus asked, looking at her in bewilderment.

"To prove a point," Dana replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"No, Dana," Remus said, taking her hands in his again. "You really love what you do, and you're going to be a brilliant Healer. Don't cheat yourself and your future patients out of your career just because of me."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." Remus smiled, and squeezed her hands. "You're a fantastic friend, Dana. But I don't want you to do that for me."

She smiled. "All right. But if there's any way I can help you, I want to. You just say the word, and I'm there."

"You're helping me right now, just by being here," Remus said softly.

Across the room, next to Sirius and James, the fireplace sprang to life. Within moments, Peter was stepping out of it. He brushed off his robes, and straightened up.

"I came as soon as I got your owl . . ." Peter's eyes skipped past James and Sirius, and fell on Remus. "What's wrong with Moony?" he asked in a hushed voice.

Sirius ran his hands over his face. "The Healers found out that he's a werewolf. They kicked him out of the program."

Peter's mouth dropped open. "What? How could they do that?"

"Pretty easily, apparently."

Remus looked up, and saw his three friends standing in a tight cluster. "You guys can come over here," he said. "You don't have to stand over there to talk about me."

Exchanging sheepish grins, James, Sirius, and Peter crossed the room, dropping themselves into seats around Remus and the girls. James ran his hand through his hair distractedly.

"We didn't mean to be rude, Moony. We really just don't know what to say."

A grin flitted across Remus' face. "Well, there's a first. James Potter doesn't know what to say."

James smiled. "It happens to the best of us."

The fireplace jumped to life again.

"Sirius?"

Sirius stood up, and crossed to the hearth, where Olivia's head had appeared. He knelt down to talk to her. Although they couldn't hear the words that were exchanged, it was obvious that he was telling her what had happened. The expression on her face said it all. As soon as Sirius stopped speaking, Olivia stood up. Within moments, she was climbing out of the fireplace.

"Remus, are you all right?" she asked.

"As well as I can be," Remus muttered.

Uneasy silence filled the room again. It was broken when two soft pops sounded as Remus' parents Apparated into the flat. He looked at them in shock. The others tried for expressions of welcome, but failed miserably.

"Oh, Remus!" Mrs. Lupin was across the room in an instant, pulling her son into a warm embrace. "Are you all right, darling? We wanted to come as soon as we heard, but we could only just get away."

"How long have you known?" Remus asked in surprise.

"I found out right after it happened," Mr. Lupin said grimly. "I tried to talk to them, but it was no use. They're convinced that you'll endanger someone."

"Which is utter nonsense," Mrs. Lupin said quickly, not wanting her husband to continue. It was obvious that Remus felt bad enough without knowing that his father's job had been threatened if he pursued the matter of Remus' expulsion from Healer training.

"I'm sorry, Dad," Remus said, looking down. "I know how much you wanted me to be a Healer. I know how much it meant to you."

"Remus," Mr. Lupin said, putting his hand on his son's shoulder, "the important thing is that _you're_ all right. Are you going to be? Have you decided what you're going to do now that this has happened?"

Remus looked at him blankly. "Do?"

"Yes, for a career."

Remus shook his head. "I haven't even thought about it."

"Well, we can worry about that later," Mrs. Lupin said hastily. She looked around at her son's friends. "You're all so sweet to be here for Remus. Have any of you eaten dinner?"

Seeing them shake their heads, she smiled.

"Well, then, why don't I make something for all of us? Remus, Sirius, I'm assuming you have some sort of food in your kitchen."

"They do," Laura said, standing up. "I'll help you, Mrs. Lupin."

"Stay with Remus," Mrs. Lupin said, waving her hand. "I'm sure I can find everything."

Dinner was a strained affair. No one knew what to say, even though the meal did give them all something to do. Remus picked at his food, but, for once, his mother didn't push him to eat. Once they had finished trying to eat, the girls volunteered to clean up, giving the Lupins some extra time with their son.

Remus' parents stayed until they had assured themselves that Remus truly would be all right. After he had promised to talk to them every day, and to come for dinner on Sunday, they took their leave.

The eight friends settled themselves in the sitting room again, all trying to think of something to say. It was Sirius who finally broke the silence by asking the question that had been plaguing him ever since he had found out what had happened.

"Remus, I know I asked you this before, but are you sure you don't know how the Healers found out?" he asked. "I mean, the only people who know are us and your parents, right? And none of us would have told anyone."

"I know," Remus said miserably. "But word got out somehow."

"Do you think the Healers who treated you when you were a little kid said something?" James suggested.

"They may have," Remus replied. He drew a deep breath, and ran his hands over his face. "Guys, I think the more important thing is whom they told, not who told them."

"That makes no sense at all," Peter frowned.

Remus sighed. "The Healers at the Academy were the second ones to find out about me."

"Who was first?" Laura asked gently, holding one of Remus' hands in both of hers.

Remus closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again. "The Death Eaters."

A collective gasp rang throughout the room as everyone looked at Remus in shocked silence. Once again, Sirius was the one to break it.

"What do you mean?"

Remus looked at his friends miserably. "About a week ago, two Death Eaters showed up here. They wanted to talk to me. They said that they knew that I was a werewolf, and that they wanted me to join them, to help them build an army of werewolves or something. I told them to get out, and they said that they would make me pay."

"What did you do then?" Laura whispered.

"I told them that no price was too high, and that I never wanted to see them again." He dropped his head into his hands. "It was so stupid! Now they know that I oppose them, and they won't stop until they've destroyed me." He pulled his head out of his hands. "Look at what they did to Marlene McKinnon's family because they found out that she opposed them. I didn't just put myself in danger when I refused them. It could have been my parents, and it could have been . . ."

He looked up again, his eyes locking with Laura's. "I was so scared that they'd do something to you. I never in a million years guessed that they'd attack me this way. And, Laura, if I had to pay for what I said, for my refusal to join them, then I'm glad to pay this price. I'd far rather lose my place in Healer training than lose you."

Tears filled Laura's eyes, and she flung her arms around Remus. The others looked at one another, not quite sure of what to do.

"How do you think the Death Eaters found out, Remus?" Peter whispered.

Remus pulled away from Laura, and looked at him. "I don't know, Peter. I really don't. Maybe James is right. Maybe one of the Healers who treated me when I was little let them know." He let his eyes move around the circle of his friends. "I trust every one of you. When I told you the truth about me, I put my life into your hands. I know that none of you would deliberately betray me like that."

"Of course we wouldn't," Sirius replied almost fiercely. "Just as you wouldn't do anything to hurt one of us."

"None of us would," James said with simple trust. "We'll always be here for one another. We stick together."

"We always will," Lily said softly, taking James' hand.

Olivia frowned slightly. "But, Remus, we've always all been open with one another. Why didn't you tell us when it happened?"

"I guess I was a bit ashamed," Remus admitted. "I mean, none of you have been approached by Death Eaters. I didn't want you to know that they had picked me."

"There's nothing to be ashamed of!" Lily exclaimed. "It's not your fault, Remus. We would have understood."

"I know that now," Remus replied. "Thanks, guys. I don't know what I'd do without you."

* * *

In the end, they all stayed overnight with Remus and Sirius. They stayed up late, talking about all that had happened. They never mentioned Remus' future. They all knew he wasn't ready to think about it.

The future became the present the next morning when Remus watched his friends getting ready to leave for the day. He gave them a smile as they all prepared to Disapparate.

"I feel like the mother saying good bye to her children," he joked. "Have fun at school, everyone."

Dana flinched at his words. She would, indeed, be going to school without her companion of so many months.

"It's not going to be the same without you, Remus," she sighed.

"We'll make it," he said, trying to smile. "Both of us."

"What are you going to do today, Remus?" Laura asked seriously.

He shrugged. "Maybe I'll check the ads in the Prophet, and see what jobs are to be had."

Laura nodded. "I take my lunch at noon. Why don't you come and join me? We can go out to a restaurant in London."

"I'll be there," Remus replied, leaning in to kiss her. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Once they were all gone, Remus took a long, hot shower. He let the water pound against his skin, the events of the past day tumbling around in his head. He still couldn't believe that it had happened. He had never imagined that he would be expelled from Healer training.

But then, he had also never really imagined himself as a Healer. He had started the program because it was what his father wanted. His father loved the art of healing. Dana, too, had a great love for her work. But Remus had only ever gone through the motions. Perhaps he _wouldn't_ have been a good Healer – but not for the reasons he had been expelled. It was because he just didn't have the passion for the profession.

But now he was free to make his own destiny. He was free to live his own life. He could do what he had always wanted to do – but what was that? He had never really considered what he wanted for himself. He had only worried about what his parents wanted. He forcefully shoved that issue aside. He'd worry about it later. It wasn't the important thing.

The thing that bothered him the most was the very thing that Sirius had brought up during their conversation the previous night. Who had told the Death Eaters that he was a werewolf? He had never given it any thought until this had happened. He had spent all his energy worrying over what the Death Eaters would do to him, or to Laura. The cause of it all had seemed inconsequential. But now it was the most important thing to him – and it was a question that would probably always remain unanswered.

He finally turned off the water. He needed to get going if he was going to consider a new job before he met Laura for lunch.

* * *

Remus was still feeling introspective as he walked into Laura's department at the Ministry of Magic. Several wizards smiled as they rushed past him. He returned their smiles, remembering meeting them during earlier visits to Laura. He walked down the hall to the office that she shared with two of her coworkers.

He paused in the doorway of the office. Laura was at her desk, bent over a stack of parchment. Both of her officemates were there, busy with one thing or another. For a moment, he just stood there, watching her. He leaned on the doorframe, smiling at the sight of his Laura.

"Hey, love," he said softly.

All three of the office's occupants looked up. Laura's face lit up with a smile.

"Hi!" she exclaimed. "I just want to finish this, and then I'll be ready to go. Can you wait one minute?"

"Sure," Remus replied.

One of the men who shared the office, Gary Nickel, grinned. He put his quill down, and stood from his seat.

"Remus was talking to _me_, Laura," he said. "Isn't that right, Remus? I'm ready to go right now, sweetheart."

Laura looked up with a tolerant smile. "Honestly," she sighed.

She went back to her work, while Remus and Gary both laughed.

"I am on my way out right now," Gary said. "Remus, come in and take my seat. George, are you going to lunch now?"

George Blythe, the room's other occupant, nodded. "All right. Did you two want to join us?"

"No, we're off to Muggle London on our own today," Laura replied, barely looking up. "I'll see you guys this afternoon, all right?"

"See you then."

Remus waited while Gary and George left the room, then walked all the way in. He perched on the edge of Gary's desk, facing Laura. She pushed her parchment aside, and smiled up at him.

"How was your morning?"

"All right," Remus replied. "I took a long shower."

"That's all?" Laura laughed.

"Hey, don't push me," Remus grinned. "It was a lot just to do that."

"I'm sure," Laura said quietly. "You've been through a lot in the past twenty four hours."

Remus felt the grin sliding off his face. "I can't spend forever like this."

"I never thought that you would."

"Laura, my dad's right. I need to find another career."

"Well, you don't have to find one _today_," Laura said reasonably. "You just need some time to adjust before you devote all your time to searching for a new job. You have plenty of time."

"Do I?" Remus asked. "Laura, we're getting married in three months. We have our entire wedding to pay for, plus the rest of our lives. I can't exactly spend all my time in the shower. I have to be an adult about this."

"I have a job, love. I can take care of us for awhile."

"But not forever," Remus replied, running his hands over his face. "Laura, I feel like I've failed you."

"How on earth did you come to that conclusion?" she exclaimed.

"I had a career, and now it's gone," Remus said softly. "How can I provide for you if I don't have a career? How can I give you everything that you want for our house? How can I give you the life that we wanted?"

"Remus, you know that things aren't important to me."

Remus continued almost as if he hadn't heard her. "You know, I never wanted to be a Healer the same way that Dana does. I never loved the work, or the idea of making my career working at St. Mungo's the way she does. I'm not my dad. I just did this to please him. But, now that it's gone . . . I don't have a clue what to do with myself, or how to build our life."

Laura stood up, and moved so that she was standing directly in front of him. She took his face in her hands, and forced him to look her in the eye. "Remus Lupin, you listen to me. I love _you_, not your career. I loved you long before you started Healer training, and I still love you now that it's not an option. As for what you do with the rest of your life, the only thing that matters to me is that you're happy. There's no set path we have to live by, Remus. We're starting a new life together in three months. We can make our own rules. If that means that I work, and you do something else, then so be it. All that matters to me is that we're together."

Remus put his hands over hers, and leaned in to kiss her. "I love you, too."

Laura smiled. "Now, tell me what you want to do with yourself."

"I don't have a clue."

She took her hands from his face, and threw them up in frustration. "Remus! Honestly! Am I trying to get bloody water from a stone here? All right, what was your favorite class in school? We'll start there."

"Defense Against the Dark Arts," Remus replied promptly. "It was my best subject."

"Good! Now, what can you do with that?"

"It's not exactly a career, unless I want to teach it," Remus replied. "And somehow, I doubt that anyone would hire me to teach. Think of all the children I'd endanger!"

"Remus, stop that, or I'm not helping you," Laura warned. "I don't want to hear you go on about how much of a danger you are. Either you're going to be open to every option, or we're not having this conversation."

"All right," Remus agreed humbly.

"Right," Laura said. "Now, let's get back to this Defense thing. You could be an Auror."

Remus shook his head. "Aurors need good Potions marks, and mine weren't all that great. Sirius was the one who saved me in that class. If he hadn't gone over all the notes with me before the tests, I would have failed miserably."

"What about something in the Department of Mysteries?"

"I don't like all that secrecy. I have enough of that in my life without having to keep my job from everyone I know and love."

"You could work here, with me."

"What would I do here? You deal more with law than Defense, and I've never really liked the bylaws and clauses – it makes me think of all the laws surrounding my condition." He gave a shudder. "I can't imagine doing that all day."

"You were a little kid long ago," Laura said with a hint of an annoyed smile. "What did you want to be then?"

Remus blushed. "Nothing."

"Don't lie to me, Lupin," Laura laughed. "I know you wanted to be something! Tell me! I won't laugh, I promise."

Remus took a deep breath. "Well, remember what I said before about teaching?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I always sort of wanted to be a teacher." He looked away from her. "I know I could never do it, but it's what I wanted to do when I was a kid."

"Why couldn't you do it?"

"Laura, haven't you been listening? What Headmaster would allow me to teach? Besides, there's _one_ wizarding school in England. It's not exactly something that there's a large job market for."

"Yes, but you don't necessarily have to teach in a school. You could be a tutor. Loads of kids need help over the holidays. You said yourself that you wouldn't have made it through Potions without Sirius. You could help other kids who can't get through Defense." Laura's eyes began to glow with excitement. "Remus, this is brilliant!"

"Laura, people still wouldn't want their kids exposed to someone like me."

"I'm exposed to you everyday, and I'm still standing," she said stubbornly. "Not everyone is biased against you, you know. You have quite a few very good friends who are living proof of that."

"You really think that I could do it?"

"Definitely!"

A slow smile spread across Remus' face. "Maybe I could."

"None of this maybe. You can do it. I know you can."

"I don't know how, or what do to do, or even where to start."

"Well, I can tell you where to start. You need to talk to Dumbledore. He'll be able to help you." She gave a squeal of delight, and kissed him again. "Remus, this is so exciting! And just think – if you hadn't been expelled from Healer training, you never would have been able to live your dream! See, it's true what they say. Every cloud really does have a silver lining!"

* * *

Lily moved from one side of the kitchen to the other, trying to get everything ready for dinner. She glanced at the clock for the third time in ten minutes. James was late. She took a deep breath, promising herself that she wouldn't panic. He was only a few minutes late. He probably just stopped to talk to Laura or Adam before he came home. It was nothing to worry about.

The minutes ticked by. Lily tried desperately to keep herself from worrying as the hands of the clock moved farther away from the time James should have been home. He was only fifteen minutes late. Anything could have happened to detain him. And that was what scared her. Where was he? She began to chew on her bottom lip, and paced across the kitchen again.

Just as she was setting the table, a loud pop filled the room. Lily looked up in surprise. James never Apparated with such a loud sound.

"Are you all right?" she greeted him.

James looked at her for a moment, trying to remove the residual anger over his job from his face. "Of course. Why would you think I'm not?"

"Well, first of all, that was the loudest Apparition I've ever heard from you. You actually sounded angry before you were here!"

"Sorry," James said quickly.

"And, second, you're late," Lily said, looking up at the clock. "Where have you been?"

"At work. Where did you think I was?"

"I didn't know!" Lily exclaimed. "You're half an hour late, James! You're never that late without letting me know that you're going to be."

James grinned. "Well, I promise, I was at work, not trying to find a girlfriend."

"I didn't think about that," Lily replied softly.

"What did you think, then?"

"I didn't know what had happened to you," she said, still in the same soft tone. "We're in the middle of a war, James, and now word is out that one of our friends opposes Voldemort. You saw what happened to Marlene's entire town because she opposed him. What if the Death Eaters had found you? Who knows what they would have done to you?"

James looked at her for a moment, almost as if trying to decide if she was serious. When her bottom lip began to quiver, he crossed the room and pulled her close, folding her in his arms. "Lily, Lily, I'm fine. I'm right here. I'm never going to leave you."

"I'm sorry," Lily said, regaining her composure. "I shouldn't worry like that."

"No, it's all right. I should have let you know that Nott made me stay late."

Lily pulled back, and tried for a mischievous smile. "And you really don't have a girlfriend?"

James smiled back, and began to tickle her sides. "You little minx. You know there's no one but you. There never has been."

Lily struggled, trying to twist her body away from his. "Oh, I think quite a few Hogwarts graduates would tell me differently."

James held her tighter, and moved his hands, tickling her even more. She gave a shriek of laughter, and collapsed against him. James laughed, too, and kissed her forehead.

"Are we all right?"

"Of course we are," Lily murmured. She tipped her face up to kiss his lips. "Just let me know next time, okay?"

"I promise."

"Good." She pulled away, and smiled at him again. "Are you hungry?"

"Sure."

"What did happen to make you so late?" she asked as they sat down at the table.

James rolled his eyes. "Nott. He insisted that I had to explain every agreement I've made between England and Bulgaria, England and Greece, and England and Hungary since I started. Needless to say, it took some time." He picked up a roll, and put it on his plate. "And, it was a completely avoidable activity. If he actually knew how to _read_, he would have been able to answer all his own questions by going over my reports."

Lily giggled in spite of herself.

"This isn't funny, you know," James said, quite obviously annoyed.

"I know," she said, trying for a straight face. "But if you could hear yourself! I'm sure the man can read, James."

"I'm not entirely convinced of it," James said, fighting back a grin. "Aside from not being able to read, he's decided that he alone has the power to dictate what rooms we can use for conferences. We used to be able to just sign up for a room, but now we have to submit a request to him, and he assigns us a room – usually only ten minutes before our meetings. He's also rearranging everything in the office, so I can't find anything anymore. Emmeline and I were talking about it today, and we're actually starting to miss Fudge, as unimaginable as that is."

"Ah, well, I guess they're right – the evil you know _is_ better than the evil you don't know."

"Lils, this is not the time for clichés!"

Lily giggled. "You need to relax! It's just a job, James."

"One I don't intend to have for very long."

Lily's eyes rounded. "You're going to take Dumbledore up on his offer, then?"

"I think I am," James said slowly. "After today, I'm not sure I can handle another day of this, let alone the rest of my career. I'm just not cut out to be a Ministry employee."

"You think you'd like teaching, then?"

"I do," James affirmed. "I'm going to hate marking papers, I know that. But I think I'll like the activity that goes with it. Teachers don't have to spend all their time behind a desk, and they don't have a supervisor breathing down their necks all the time."

"Good point."

"Speaking of, what happened with your article?"

"It ran today," Lily said dismissively. "If _you_ could read, and you read the Prophet, you'd know that. And don't change the subject."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I want to know if you're really serious about going back to Hogwarts to teach."

"I think I am," James said. "I'm going to sleep on it tonight, but if I still want to do it tomorrow, I'm going to get my letter and resume together for Dumbledore. He said he needed to hear from me by the end of the week, and that's looming."

"So it is," Lily said with a smile. "I'm so excited for you, James!"

"Don't be yet," James warned. "The job isn't mine. Once it's signed and sealed, we'll celebrate."

* * *

Lily practically held her breath as she walked into her office the next morning. Minnie was already there, looking as anxious as Lily felt.

"Today's the day," Minnie said quietly. "We'll find out how our article went over."

Lily shivered. "Min, if we were wrong, we're out of our jobs."

"I know," Minnie said. "Do you have any doubts?"

"That we were right? None. But I'm afraid that it won't go over well."

Minnie gave a hint of a smile. "Maybe that Lestrange guy has it right. Maybe we should write things that won't offend anyone."

Lily frowned. "I still don't feel right about him."

"Because his wife's a Death Eater?"

"Because I'm not sure that he _isn't_ a Death Eater."

"Do you think we should -?"

"Minnie, Lily, you're already here!"

Both girls' heads snapped up at the sound of Damon's voice. He was standing in the doorway of Lily's office, hanging on to the door.

"We're going to have a meeting with the editors in fifteen minutes. You two need to be there. It's in board room A." The words were barely out of his mouth before he had left.

Minnie looked at Lily, her face a delicate shade of green. "This is it, Lils. We're going to find out one way or the other."

Lily swallowed. "Fifteen minutes," she whispered, licking her dry lips. "That's not nearly enough time to be sick."

Minnie giggled. "All right, we do need to calm down."

"I think that might be easier said that done."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Lily and Minnie walked into the board room together. Damon was there, as well as Lily's old editor, Elaine, the editor-in-chief of the paper, Perry, and, unfathomably, Dorcas Meadows.

"Welcome, ladies," Damon said. "Please, sit down."

Lily and Minnie glanced at one another, and took the two free chairs at the end of the table. Damon passed them each a sheaf of parchment.

"These are the Ministry reports on the Death Eaters you ladies exposed in your article. As you can see, two of them have already been arrested, with trials pending. The other two have been added to the list of wanted Death Eaters." He smiled. "Well done, ladies. You uncovered four Death Eaters, and saved countless lives through your work."

Perry cleared his throat. "Lily, Minnie, I've talked to Damon, and to Elaine. They both have worked with both of you, and have agreed that you would do well in a different department. We, along with Dorcas, all agree that the investigative department has been without new blood for far too long." He smiled at the expressions of shock that were coming over their faces. "Dorcas Meadows is the new editor of the investigative section, and she would be thrilled to have her join her department, if you are willing."

Lily and Minnie glanced at each other for a split second.

"We'd love to!" Lily exclaimed.

"Definitely!" Minnie agreed.

"Excellent," Perry said, standing to his feet. "Well, I believe my work is done. I'll leave the rest of this meeting up to all of you."

Elaine, too, stood up. "Congratulations, girls," she said. "I knew you'd go far with this paper."

Once the door had closed behind them, Damon smiled.

"I'm really going to miss you two," he said. "You've done fantastic work for me. I don't know where I'm going to find two new writers."

"You'll come up with someone," Minnie smiled.

He smiled, and shook both of their hands. "Congratulations. Congratulations to you, too, Dorcas. You're getting two brilliant writers."

"I'm sure I am," Dorcas smiled.

Damon, too, left the board room, closing the door behind him. As soon as he had gone, Dorcas turned to Lily and Minnie.

"Welcome aboard," she said. "I'm going to be completely straightforward with you two. I want you to investigate Death Eaters. I've seen the work that you've done, and I'm impressed." Her eyes flicked from Lily to Minnie and back. "Lily, Professor Dumbledore tells me that you've made certain arrangements with him . . ."

"Minnie knows about it," Lily said. "At least, she knows the board facts."

Dorcas nodded. "Good. I want you to continue using the contacts Dumbledore has arranged for you. I'm also going to give you two an open schedule. You will create your own hours, provided that your stories are in on time, and are up to your standards of writing. You are free to spend as much time as you need during the day on investigations and field work."

Lily and Minnie nodded.

"Do you have questions yet?"

"No."

"Not yet."

"Good. Come on, let's go upstairs and get you settled."

Minnie left the board room first. Dorcas grabbed Lily's sleeve, holding her back.

"Dumbledore wanted this," she said. "Thank goodness it worked out the way he wanted."

"Did he place you here?"

"Yes. But we both thought I'd have to fight to get you two in my department. Thank goodness I didn't need to. Perry actually suggested it when he saw the reaction to your story. Damon was a bit of a tough one to sell – he really didn't want to lose you girls. But, Dumbledore and I need to you in the investigative section. You're going to need the time to research the Death Eaters."

Lily smiled. "Sometimes things really do work out."

* * *

Peter finished putting the day's deposit in the appropriate envelope, and put the envelope in the safe. He turned the combination lock to lock the safe, and went back around to the front of the counter. He always loved the end of the day at the shop. There was something about leaving everything in order that made him happy.

He had just turned out the lights when a knock sounded on the door. Frowning slightly, he wondered why people couldn't just read. The sign on the door clearly said that he was closed. Knocking wasn't going to get anyone anywhere.

He picked up his cape, and the knocking began again. This time it was louder, and more insistent. Resigning himself to the idea that he would have to verbally tell the customer to return the next day, he put his cape down. He waved his wand, relighting the lamps, and crossed to open the door.

He dropped his wand at the sight of the two men in the doorway. He knew them. He had seen them before, meeting with his father.

"Hello, Peter. Do you mind if we come in?"

Peter stepped back silently, and the two men entered the shop. They closed the door behind them, and turned to look at him.

"Peter, I'm sure you know who we are."

Peter nodded. He still didn't have the power of speech.

"We're here tonight to talk to you about joining us. We've spoken to your father, and he thinks that you might be receptive to our ideas."

"Y – you want me to join you? To become a Death Eater?"

"Yes, that's what we've come to ask of you."

Peter looked at them wordlessly.

"It is a big decision. But, consider this, Peter. The Dark Lord's followers are gaining power. He is spreading his reach beyond England. Within a year, we will have taken over the wizarding world. We will have defeated those who oppose us – those like your friend, Remus."

"Remus?" Peter whispered.

"We know you are his friend. And we know how your father would feel if he knew that you had befriended a werewolf. Now, you don't want him to hear that little tidbit of information, do you?"

"That's blackmail," Peter whispered.

"No, it's just a simple fact. We are a powerful organization, Peter. We have ways of making people comply. This is one bit of information we have, and way we can work with you."

"What if I refuse? What will you do if I choose not to join you?"

"Why would you make such a foolish decision? We know how your mind works, Peter, and we know your heart. We know that you want to be on the more powerful side. We know that you have doubts about fighting against us. And we know that you want to please your father."

To please his father . . . All the years of disappointing his father played through his mind. Yes, joining the Death Eaters would certainly please his father. He would tell Peter that he was proud of him. He would be thrilled to call him his son. But his mother wouldn't be pleased. No, she had always wanted him to oppose the Death Eaters and the Dark Lord. What would she say if she found out that he had joined the Death Eaters?

And what of his friends? They had sworn to stand by one another, and they had sworn to oppose the Dark Lord. But that opposition had cost Remus his career. It had cost Kathleen her life. Kathleen . . . She would tell him not to do this. She wouldn't want him to become a Death Eater. But if the Dark Lord was truly taking over everywhere . . . Peter screwed up his face at the impossibility of the decision before him.

"You don't have to decide tonight. We can return."

"When do I need to decide?" Peter asked shakily. He definitely did need more time.

"The sooner the better. You certainly want to be a part of the Dark Lord's army as it takes over the world. The longer you take to decide, the more glory you cheat yourself out of. Think about it, Peter. We'll be in touch."

The two men swept out of the store, leaving Peter alone. He stood on shaking legs for a moment, then sank down to the floor.

"What am I going to do?" he moaned, covering his face with his hands. "What am I going to do?"


	21. Rivalry

A/N: All right, everyone, it's time for my confession. I had hoped that I wouldn't have to tell you about this so soon in the story, but here we go.

I'm leaving on the 31st for Madrid, Spain. I'm going to study there for the academic year, working on my Master's degree. While this is an excellent opportunity for me, and I'm really excited about it, I'm sure that you're not going to like it.

I'm definitely going to continue with this story, but it's going to take longer, since I won't have my own computer anymore. I'm going to try my hardest to get at least one more chapter out before I leave, but starting September 1st, I'm only going to promise one chapter every three weeks. I will try as hard as I can to update more frequently than that, but until I know my situation, that's the best I can do.

I am really sorry to have to leave you like this. When I originally started this insanely long story, I thought I'd be done before I left. Sometime last month, I realized that wasn't going to happen.

Again, I'm really sorry. I love you all for your support of my story. I swear I'm not going to give up on it – I love it even more than all of you do! Thanks for sticking with me for so long, and for your patience! Please keep reading and reviewing! Thanks, everyone!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Rivalry

Peter's entire body felt heavy as he dragged himself home. He knew he couldn't Apparate with his mind so preoccupied, and forced himself to walk the distance. He had hoped that walking would help him come to a decision. Unfortunately, it did not.

It was very late by the time he arrived; the house was completely dark. His parents were obviously already asleep. He opened the door as quietly as he could, and lit his wand to make his way up to his bedroom.

Once inside his room, he collapsed on his bed. He didn't even both to take off his shoes before curling up into a ball. Tears gathered in his eyes as the decision he had to make weighed down on him.

"What can I do?" he whispered. "I don't want to do this, but do I have a choice? They were right; the Dark Lord is gaining power. We haven't been able to stop him. He's killed so many innocent people. He killed Lily's parents just because of who they were. He killed Marlene, and she was an Order member. He killed Kathleen when she wasn't even out of Hogwarts. He killed her entire family . . . How can I join the man who killed my Kathleen?

"But if I don't join him . . . Remus lost his career over it. He was afraid he'd lose Laura." He stopped, and his eyes grew round. "What if they go after my family? Or my friends? I can't let them do anything to hurt my friends. I have to protect them, the same way they've always protected me."

"_PETER_!"

Peter jumped off his bed at the sound of his mother's hysterical scream. He had never heard her scream like that. Something must be horribly wrong. He bounded across the room, and threw open the door.

"Mum?" he yelled.

"In here! _Hurry_!"

Peter raced down the hall to his parents' room. His mother was completely frantic, standing over his father, who was still lying in bed. His face was gray, and his eyes and jaw were clenched.

"What happened?" Peter asked.

"It's your father! He just started moaning, and clutching at his chest, and now . . ."

"We have to get him to St. Mungo's!" Peter yelled. "We have to talk to the Healers, to find out what we should do for him!"

His mother nodded, and ran to the fireplace at the other end of the room. She grabbed a handful of Floo powder, and threw it into the flames.

While his mother talked to the Healers, Peter knelt down in front of his father. He reached out to touch him, but then thought better of it. He didn't want to cause him any further pain.

"Dad?" he asked quietly. "Can you hear me?"

"Peter . . ." The older man opened his eyes, and forced them to focus on Peter. "My son."

"I'm right here, Dad."

"Take care . . . of . . . your mother," Mr. Pettigrew gasped.

"I will," Peter swore. "I always will."

"Don't . . . get yourself killed."

Peter smiled slightly. "I'll try to avoid that."

"I mean it . . . Peter, do you . . . remember what . . . we talked about . . . before? About . . . not breaking . . . your mother's . . . heart?"

"I remember," Peter said softly, thinking back to the conversation he had had with his father while James and Lily were in St. Mungo's on the brink of death.

"Do the right thing, Peter," Mr. Pettigrew said in a raspy voice. He reached out to grab a fistful of Peter's shirt, and forced himself to speak, using all the strength he could muster. "Save your mother the pain of losing you. Do the right thing." His fingers loosened around Peter's shirt, and his hand fell back on the bed. "Make me proud, Peter."

"I will," Peter whispered. "I want you to be proud, Dad."

Mr. Pettigrew nodded once, and his head fell back. Peter's eyes opened in terror.

"Dad?" he asked. He gently shook his father's shoulder. "Dad? DAD!"

Mrs. Pettigrew looked up from her conversation with the Healer at the panic in Peter's voice. With a cry, she lunged across the room. The flames in the fireplace jumped higher, and within moments, a Healer was stepping into the room.

The Healer gently pulled Mrs. Pettigrew away from her husband. Peter caught his mother in his arms, and held her close while the Healer conducted his examination. Finally, he looked up at them, his face grave.

"I'm so sorry," he said. "He's gone."

Mrs. Pettigrew gave a pitiful cry, and slumped against Peter. He held her tightly, letting his own tears run down his cheeks.

Peter had never had a good relationship with his father. They had never been like James and Mr. Potter. But he had loved him. And he wanted to make him proud.

"I will make you proud, Dad," Peter whispered. "I promise."

* * *

"I think we may have Pettigrew convinced, my Lord."

Voldemort nodded with a slightly twisted smile, resting the tips of his long fingers together. "He will join us, then?"

"He said he needed time to think. But with his father's influence, I'm sure he will come to the right conclusion."

"Very well. What of the others?"

"Lupin has refused us."

"We know this for certain?"

"We have destroyed his career, and he still didn't come to us. He will always oppose us."

"That is his foolish decision, then. We will move on. Who else do we need to convince to join our ranks?"

"Our next target is Sirius Black, sir."

"Ah, yes, the rogue Black son." Voldemort rested his chin against his fingertips, and nodded slightly. "I'm afraid you are not the ones who will talk to Mr. Black."

"My Lord?"

"There is one who is better equipped than you to deal with him." He smiled slightly. "Hold out your arm."

With a slightly pained expression, the Death Eater held out his left arm, pushing up the sleeve of his robes.

"Regulus Black," Voldemort whispered, pressing his finger into the Dark Mark on the man's arm.

The man winced in pain as the mark burned black. Voldemort pulled his hand away.

"You may go," he said, waving his hand. "I will alert you when your services are needed again."

The man nodded, gave a short bow, and left the room. Several moments later, Regulus appeared with a faint pop.

"Ah, Mr. Black," Voldemort smiled. "Welcome."

"I'm sorry I took so long to arrive, my Lord."

"Think nothing of it," Voldemort replied. "I know of your challenges in reaching me. It is difficult in your particular circumstances."

Regulus nodded. Of course the Dark Lord knew that he could not Disapparate within the confines of Hogwarts. "You wanted to see me, my Lord?"

"Yes . . . I have a mission for you, Regulus."

Regulus stood up a bit straighter. "I will execute it to the best of my ability."

"I know you will. Just as I know that you, above all others, will have success with this mission."

"What am I to do, my Lord?"

"As you are aware, Mr. Black, we are always recruiting new members for our ranks. We have a list of potential members, all chosen for one reason or another. The next person on the list is a powerful wizard, who would be able to contribute greatly to our cause. You will convince him to join us."

"Who is he, my Lord?"

"Why, your brother, of course. Sirius Black."

Regulus' eyes widened in surprise. "You want me to convince Sirius to become a Death Eater?"

"If you think you are not up to the challenge . . ."

"No," Regulus said firmly, knowing that he could not let the Dark Lord down. "I'll do it."

"Excellent."

* * *

Albus Dumbledore sat at his desk, reading over the resume James had sent him. He nodded as his eyes skimmed over the words. James had done an excellent job of listing his accomplishments. His next task would be to convince the other teachers that he deserved this job. An interview would need to be scheduled.

Dumbledore set James' resume aside, making a mental note to bring it to the next meeting he held with his Heads of House. He wanted to show it to them, and to ask them for a convenient time for the interview.

He looked up in surprise as an owl flew through his open window. It landed on his desk, and he removed the letter it was carrying. As soon as the letter had been taken, the owl took off again, flying out the same window it had used to enter.

Dumbledore didn't recognize the writing on the parchment. He turned it over, and broke the seal. His eyes widened in surprise as he read the first few lines.

"Well, it appears that James has some competition," he muttered. He glanced over at Fawkes. "And that competition has come from a most unlikely person."

A knock sounded on his door. Dumbledore looked up from the letter.

"Come in," he called.

The door opened, and Professor McGonagall walked into the office.

"Albus, do you have a moment?"

"Of course," Dumbledore said, setting the parchment aside.

"Nothing pressing, I hope?" McGonagall asked, indicating the parchment.

"Not pressing . . . just unexpected." He sighed. "I've had a second applicant for the Defense job."

"I thought you only offered it to James Potter."

"Word travels quickly, Minerva. I could not have expected that others would not have heard of the job opening."

"Well, who has applied?"

"Severus Snape."

McGonagall's jaw started to drop before she stopped it. "Well, you know that hiring him is completely out of the question," she said, trying to recover her composure.

"We have to grant him an interview, at the very least."

"Why? Common courtesy? Think rationally, Albus. We practically have confirmation that Severus became a Death Eater upon graduation from Hogwarts. You can't be seriously considering hiring a Death Eater to teach our students!"

"No, not really. But I believe that an interview would be appropriate. Never forget, Minerva, that we should keep our enemies close. There may come a time when we will rely on Severus, and when we will welcome him back into our school."

"Well, it won't be until he has renounced You-Know-Who," McGonagall said fiercely. "Until the day when he can honestly say that he has given up his life as a Death Eater, I will not trust him."

Dumbledore looked at her for a moment. "Do you believe in second chances, Minerva?"

"Of course."

"Then remember that everyone deserves them – even those who we would rather not think of as deserving."

* * *

Lily reached down and laced her fingers through James' as they watched the coffin holding Mr. Pettigrew's body being lowered into the ground. James tightened his grip on her hand, knowing how difficult this was for her. But she had wanted to come. She had wanted to be there to support Peter.

They had all come. It was easy to celebrate with your friends when things were going well. The true test of friendship was to support your friends when things fell apart. They had to be there for one another at times like this, and they always were. For Peter, his world was spiraling apart with each word the minister spoke.

He was standing in front of the gravesite with his arms around his mother. As the coffin was lowered, Mrs. Pettigrew turned her face into Peter's shoulder, sobs shaking her body. He held her close, trying to still her shaking. His eyes looked straight ahead, but he didn't see anything. A thousand thoughts tumbled around in his mind, all leading back to the same point: What was he going to do? What decision was he going to make? How could he best protect himself and his friends? How could he make his father proud?

The service ended, and the mourners began to move toward the hall, where lunch was being served. Peter and his mother remained by the grave, saying a silent farewell to the man who had been a part of their lives for so many years. Mrs. Pettigrew finally looked up at Peter, wiping away her tears.

"Come, Peter," she said hoarsely. "Let's go have something to eat."

"You go, Mum," he mumbled. "I'll just be another minute."

She looked deeply at him for a moment, and touched his face. Then, nodding, she turned and made her way to the hall. Peter turned back to his father's grave, looking down at it as though asking it for answers.

"We should go talk to him," James muttered.

"Let's go," Sirius replied.

"Let me," Lily said softly.

James, Sirius, and Remus all stared at her. James cleared his throat.

"Lil, I know that Peter is your friend, too, but Sirius, Remus, and I know him better than anyone. We really need to be here for him today."

"And you are here for him," Lily replied. "I know that the four of you have the strongest bond imaginable. But, right now, I think I can understand what Peter's going through more than any of you." She looked around at them. "James, Remus, you both still have your fathers, and Sirius, you wrote yours off long ago. Of all of us, Dana and I are the only ones who have been where he is right now. If anyone is going to talk to him right now, it's going to be one of us."

Dana nodded. "She's right, you know. Let her handle it, if she wants to."

"Do you want to come?" Lily asked softly.

"Will you need me?"

"If I do, I'll wave you over," Lily replied.

Dana nodded. Lily looked at the men expectantly.

"Only if you promise to wave us over, too," James said.

"Fine. One hand means that I need Dana, and two means that I need the three of you."

"Fair enough."

Lily nodded, and turned from the group. She walked slowly across the cemetery, knowing that there were no "right" words for this situation. She finally arrived next to Peter, and reached out to gently touch his shoulder.

He turned slightly, and caught sight of her red hair. "Hey, Lils," he said dully.

"How are you holding up?" she asked gently.

"As well as I can, I guess. I think this is worse for my mum than it is for me."

"Don't try to be brave for me," Lily replied. "You're going through quite a lot right now, too, Peter. Don't pretend that it doesn't hurt."

"What do you know about it?" he asked.

"Quite a bit, actually," she said softly. "Remember, I watched my father die, too. I lost both of my parents in one day. If anyone understands what you're going through right now, Peter, it's me."

He shook his head. "You have no idea of the thoughts that I have right now. You have no idea of the decisions that I'm facing."

Lily gently squeezed his shoulder. "I know you'll make the right decisions, Peter. I know that you want to do what's right, and I know that you have three brothers over there who will support you in whatever you do."

Peter looked past her, and caught sight of James, Sirius, and Remus. They were all poised to run over as soon as Lily needed them.

"They don't know what it's like," he said. "James and Remus, they both still have their fathers, and they have great relationships with them. They've never had to fight for their fathers' approval, or struggled to make them proud. Sirius wouldn't care if his father dropped over dead tomorrow. He's never cared what his father thought of him. They can't possibly know what I'm going through."

"They may not have lived through the same things you have, Peter, but I know that they understand that you're in pain. They would do anything in their power to make it better."

"But they can't," he said, turning to her with tear-filled eyes. "Don't you see, Lily? They can't make it better. No one can, not even you. Even you can't understand all that I'm going through right now. I'm all alone now, facing this terrible decision. For the first time, I can't talk to them about it. I know they wouldn't understand, and I know they can't help me."

Lily didn't say a word. She merely leaned in, and pulled Peter into a comforting embrace. Stifling the sobs that wanted to shake his body, he clung to her, drawing strength from her inner strength, wishing that she was right, that his friends really could help him this time. But, as much as he wanted it, he knew that they couldn't.

Lily remained silent, gently running her hand up and down his back. She didn't have a clue what decision it was that he had to make, but assumed that it had something to do with his father's estate. But why wouldn't James, Sirius, and Remus understand that? Hiding her confusion, she did the best she could to comfort her mourning friend.

* * *

"Why won't you just cooperate for once in your bloody life?"

Lily giggled as she watched James struggling with his hair. He turned to face her, his dress robes whipping around him.

"I'm glad you find this so amusing! Just because your hair is perfect is no reason to laugh at mine!"

Lily smiled, and tried to stop laughing. "Oh, James, you know that my hair isn't perfect. You've seen it first thing in the morning."

"Well, it's certainly closer to perfect than mine."

She walked into the bathroom, and kissed his cheek. "I like it like this."

"You might," he replied. "But that doesn't mean that it's going to impress anyone at this interview."

"It's just our old professors, James. They've all seen you before, and they've definitely seen you looking worse than this." She stepped back to survey the picture of her husband in his dress robes. "You look fantastic."

James smiled slightly. "I don't feel fantastic."

"Well, you should. I know you're going to get this job. Dumbledore asked you to apply for it! He's not going to do that, and then turn you down."

"But what if someone else applied? Let's face it, Lil – I'm not remotely qualified to teach."

"Dumbledore must think that you are," Lily said stubbornly. "Or he must think that you have the capacity to learn." She reached out to smooth the front his robes. "You'll be a brilliant teacher, James."

He leaned down to kiss the tip of her nose. "I hope so."

"Now, let me give you a good luck kiss, and then you'd better be on your way," she said, reaching up to kiss his lips. "Good luck, love."

"Thanks," James said. He reached up to attempt to smooth his hair one last time. "Is that any better?"

"Definitely," Lily replied, steering him away from the mirror before he had a chance to look at his hair again. She didn't want him to know that it looked the same. "You go impress our old teachers now, and I'll see you for our special dinner tonight."

He smiled. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

With one last grin, he was gone.

James Apparated to a point just outside of the Hogwarts grounds. He heaved a sigh, and began walking toward the castle. He forced himself to walk quickly, knowing that delaying the process wouldn't make it any easier.

By the time he arrived at the Headmaster's office, his stomach was completely jumpy. He hadn't felt so nervous since the night he had proposed to Lily. He had felt dread since then, like during the days and nights when she had been unconscious after their last battle with Voldemort. But this was different. This was the same set of nerves he had felt while waiting for her to agree to marry him. It was a horrible, wonderful feeling that meant that he truly did want this job.

The door of the Headmaster's office swung open. James immediately stood up straighter, and reached up to try to flatten his hair.

"James?" Dumbledore asked with a calming smile. "We're ready for you. Please, come in."

James smiled, and followed the older man up to his office. A conference table had been arranged in the middle of the room. Dumbledore motioned James to a seat at the foot of the table, and took his own seat at the head. Professor McGonagall sat next to him, with Professor Flitwick on her other side. Professor Sprout sat across from McGonagall, next to Professor Turner. James fought the urge to give his old Divination professor a grin and a wink, remembering the torment he and Sirius had put the woman through. They had always rationalized that it served her right for being the Head of Slytherin House.

"I'm sure that you all remember Mr. Potter," Dumbledore said as they took their seats. He took out a recording quill like the one Lily used for interviews, and tapped it with his wand. "Interview of James Potter, for the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, beginning at 8:30 AM."

James nodded, and nervously clasped his hands in his lap.

"James, we're each going to ask you several questions," Dumbledore said. "Please answer them honestly, and to the best of your ability."

James nodded again.

"I'll begin," Professor McGonagall said. She gave James a rather severe look that reminded him of the number of times this woman had assigned him detention. "Potter, tell us about your activities since leaving Hogwarts."

"Well, I've been working in the Ministry of Magic, in the Department of International Magical Cooperation," James said. "It has been my responsibility to open and maintain lines of communication between England and Bulgaria, Greece, and Hungary. I have done a great deal of work with my counterparts in those countries to contain the Death Eaters, and to thwart Voldemort's plans when possible."

A murmur ran through the group at the mention of the Dark Lord's name. James barely refrained from rolling his eyes.

"I've also gotten married," he added.

"Oh, that's right!" Professor Flitwick exclaimed. "To Miss Evans, correct?"

James nodded with a grin. "That's right."

"She was a brilliant Charms student," Flitwick continued. "I haven't found one to match her yet!"

James grinned again. He could hardly wait to tell Lily what her favorite professor had said about her.

"Moving along," Professor Turner said. "Potter, tell us how you would assess your students in their defense abilities."

James nodded. "Well, I rather think that the examinations we took for our O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s were quite comprehensive, and that's how I'd like to evaluate my students. That way they can tell me what they know on paper, and show me what they can do in practice."

Professor Turner nodded slowly. She looked as though she was trying not to be impressed by his answer as she, along with the other teachers, noted his answer.

"How would you make allowances for students of varying abilities?" Professor Sprout asked.

"I would be available for tutoring, if they would require additional help outside of class," James replied. "And I will allow them to work in pairs to learn jinxes and hexes, so that the stronger students could help the weaker students."

Professor Sprout nodded. James watched as all the professors made notes on their parchment. He wanted desperately to know what they were writing.

"What texts would you like to use?" Professor Flitwick asked.

James blinked. He hadn't considered texts for the students. It seemed a bit presumptuous to choose books before knowing that the job was his. He searched his mind for the books he had used as a student, as well as books he had seen Remus reading, and chose the best ones. He rattled off the titles quickly, hoping that they wouldn't question him further about the books.

"Tell us about your abilities with hexes," Dumbledore said.

James took a deep breath, and began to recount all the hexes he had mastered. Once he was through with that, they asked him to discuss his knowledge of jinxes, of general defensive spells, and of dark creatures. James told them all that he could do, hoping that it was enough.

"Thank you, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore said at last. "You will receive notification by the end of the week."

"Thank you, sir," James said. He shook Dumbledore's hand, and then those of the other professors.

"I'll walk you out," Dumbledore offered. He led James back to the moving staircase, and rode down with him. "Thank you for coming in today, James."

"It was my pleasure, sir," James replied.

Dumbledore smiled. "Between you and I, I think you did very well."

James grinned. "Thanks."

The staircase came to a stop, and James walked off it. He wasn't paying attention to where he was going, and collided with someone. He jumped back, and looked to see who was standing in his pathway.

"Snape?" he asked incredulously. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same," Snape sneered. "Still serving detentions from your schooldays?"

"Mr. Potter is here for the same reason you are, Mr. Snape," Dumbledore cut in, trying to avoid a confrontation. "And if you'll follow me, we can begin your interview."

James' jaw dropped. _Snape_ was interviewing for his job?

* * *

Snape endured the same round of questions that James had. While his answers to the instructional questions were not as good as James', his knowledge of the Dark Arts far outstripped his opponent's. At the end of the interview, Professors Sprout and Flitwick looked at one another with raised eyebrows. They had never realized exactly how interested their former student was in the Dark Arts. McGonagall and Turner exchanged dark glances.

"Thank you, Mr. Snape," Dumbledore said. "Let me see you out."

Snape nodded, and stood up, shaking his greasy hair out of his eyes. He followed the Headmaster onto the moving staircase.

"Professor, be honest with me," he said as they made their way back down. "Will this job go to me or to Potter?"

Dumbledore sighed heavily. "Severus, I have some reservations about offering the job to you," he said. "Your knowledge of the Dark Arts is quite extensive – almost _too_ extensive. I'm afraid that the Defense Against the Dark Arts post would not be the place where you could best serve Hogwarts."

Snape raised his eyebrows. "You have another job open?"

"Not this year, no," Dumbledore replied. "But perhaps next year. Our Potions Master is considering retirement, and I know that you were one of the best Potions scholars Hogwarts has ever produced."

Snape looked at him with narrowed eyes. "You think I would be better in Potions?"

"Yes." Dumbledore looked deeply into his eyes, and watched as Snape's defenses blocked him out. "You are quite skilled in many areas, Severus. I just wish you would use your talent for the right reasons."

"If you don't approve of my life choices, Professor, just say it."

"Very well. I have credible sources that have informed me that you are a Death Eater."

"And you believe these sources?"

"Until you tell me otherwise, I have no choice."

Snape looked away.

Dumbledore nodded. "And now I'm sure you can see why I cannot place you in a position to teach my students Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"And so I've lost to Potter again," Snape spat bitterly.

"No," Dumbledore said quietly, "you've lost to yourself."

* * *

"Are you being serious?" Sirius laughed. "_Snape_ applied for the Defense job?"

"Isn't it ridiculous?" James asked. "Can you imagine that git as a teacher?"

"Can you imagine how the students would tear him apart?" Sirius laughed, jumping onto the couch with his mirror held tightly in his hands. "The first time they saw that greasy hair, they'd laugh hysterically! He does still have the greasy hair, doesn't he?"

"Of course," James laughed. "He still hasn't learned how to wash it."

"Well, if Snivelly was your competition, I think you've got it in the bag, Prongs," Sirius said easily. "Are you coming over for dinner with Remus and I tonight?"

"No, Lil and I are going out," James replied. "It's our two month anniversary."

"You two truly are sick. You know that, right?"

James laughed. "You wait until you make an honest woman out of Olivia. You'll be just as bad."

"Who said I was going to marry Olivia?" Sirius asked with a grin.

"Right," James replied.

A knock sounded on the door of Sirius' flat. He frowned.

"Looks like I've got company, Prongs," he said. "I'll talk to you later, all right?"

"Sure," James replied.

"Have fun with Lils."

"I will. Talk to you later."

Sirius put his mirror down, and grabbed his wand as he moved toward the door. He opened it, and stopped short, staring at the person standing on his doorstep.

"Hey, Sirius. It's been awhile."

"Regulus," Sirius whispered.

* * *

Peter paced around his room like a caged animal. He still didn't know what to do, but he knew that his time was running out. He was certain that the Death Eaters would try to contact him soon. How could he make a decision like this alone? He needed help.

"I need to make a list," he muttered, thinking of the lists of notes he and his friends had created while trying to complete their Animagi transformations. "It'll help to see everything written out."

He had just sat down at his desk when an owl flew into his room. He grabbed the letter from it, and it took off again. He broke the seal on the letter with shaking hands, and looked down at the parchment.

"_Meet us tonight in the store at midnight_."

There was no signature, but Peter knew without a doubt who had sent it.

"What am I going to do?" he muttered.

* * *

"What are you doing here?" Sirius asked.

Regulus smiled sheepishly. "Well, that's a warm welcome for your little brother. Don't I get an invitation in?"

"Of course," Sirius replied, moving aside to admit his brother.

"So," Regulus said as he looked around, "this is where you live, huh?"

"Yeah, this is it," Sirius replied. "Remus and I are the only ones here since James married Lily."

"Is Remus home now?" Regulus asked, his eyes betraying a hint of nerves.

"No, it's just me," Sirius said slowly. "Are you all right, Regulus?"

"Of course."

Sirius looked at him closely. "Here, sit down."

Regulus nodded, and took a seat on the couch. Sirius sat down across from him.

"Do you like living here?" Regulus asked, looking around the room.

"Stop that," Sirius said. "We never had to make small talk before, and we don't now. We may have lost touch for awhile, but I think that we can still be as honest with one another as we always were. Don't beat around the bush. Why are you here, Regulus?"

* * *

Peter put the letter down on his desk. As his eyes roamed over it, they fell on a picture from James and Lily's wedding. He had only recently framed it to add to his collection. James and Lily were in the center, with Sirius, Remus, Peter, Olivia, Dana, and Laura gathered around them. They were all laughing, and waving up at Peter. He smiled as he watched them.

The picture next to it was taken at graduation. The same eight people were standing together with their arms around one another. The girls blew kisses at the camera, and the boys were laughing at them. As Peter watched, James grabbed Lily around the waist, and twirled her around. She laughed hysterically, clutching his shoulders. He set her down, and kissed her cheek.

Peter smiled again. He loved his friends. He would never do anything to hurt them.

He turned his eyes to the last picture on his desk. It was of him and Kathleen, taken on the last day they were at Hogwarts before Christmas during their seventh year – the last day Kathleen had ever been at Hogwarts. In the picture, he had his arm around her waist, holding her close to him. She leaned over, and kissed his cheek.

Tears began to gather in Peter's eyes as he watched. Why had she been taken? Why?

"I loved her," he whispered. "I loved her so much, and I couldn't help her. Lily loved her parents, and being in the Order didn't help them. What if . . .?"

Wiping away his tears, he stood up. He had a meeting to get to.

* * *

Regulus sighed. "Sirius, why do I always have to have an ulterior motive with you?"

"You don't always," Sirius replied. "But consider this: I haven't seen you since I left Hogwarts, and it's been even longer since I've spoken to you. Suddenly, without even a letter in all that time, you show up on my doorstep. How do you think it looks?"

"I guess I can see your point."

"If you don't have an ulterior motive, then I apologize," Sirius said. "Don't think that I'm not happy to see you, because I am. I'm glad you came, it's just . . . Well, how have you been? How's life . . ." Sirius trailed off, his eyes narrowing. "You, my little brother, are still supposed to be at Hogwarts. Tell me – why aren't you?"

"I . . . I . . ."

"Did something happen to Mum or Dad?" Sirius asked quickly. "Is that why you're here? Did you come to tell me?"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Regulus replied, narrowing his own eyes. "You'd just love it if Mum or Dad died."

"Regulus, don't talk like that," Sirius said fiercely. "I don't agree with them on most things, and I don't want to have anything to do with them, but I don't wish them dead."

Regulus nodded. "Sorry."

"So, if Mum and Dad are fine, why are you here?"

Regulus drew a deep breath. "I have a proposition for you."

"What kind of proposition?"

"It's about the Dark Lord."

"Why am I not surprised?"

"You knew I was here on his behalf?"

"No, I didn't exactly know . . . but what else could it be? I know that you're involved with the Death Eaters. You have been for years."

"And you've never approved."

"No, I haven't. But what news have you brought me from Voldemort?"

Regulus flinched.

"You're willing to serve a man, but you don't want to hear his name?" Sirius laughed.

Regulus ignored his comment. "I've come to ask you to join us, Sirius."

Sirius laughed. "You want _me_ to become a Death Eater?"

Regulus looked at him evenly. "Yes."

Sirius stopped laughing, realizing that his brother wasn't joking. "You really mean it, don't you?"

"Of course I do," Regulus replied. "The Dark Lord sent me to recruit you over to our cause – to ask you to join the side that will win this war."

"Regulus, do you honestly expect me to agree?" Sirius asked incredulously.

"I'd like you consider it."

"Do you know what I've been doing since I left Hogwarts?"

Regulus shook his head. "I had to work quite hard to find where you live. Your occupation was a bit above me."

"Well, let me enlighten you. I've been training to become an Auror."

Regulus' eyes grew round.

"Exactly," Sirius said. "So, I'd advise you to leave before I'm forced to arrest you as a Death Eater."

"You wouldn't arrest your own brother."

"I don't want to. But if you ask me to join your side again, I will."

"Sirius, be reasonable."

"I'm being very reasonable. The fact that I haven't taken you to the Ministry yet should tell you how reasonable I'm being."

Regulus nodded, realizing that he had hit the end of his brother's tolerance. He stood to leave. "I hope you're not going to regret this."

Sirius looked at him for a moment. "I won't."

* * *

Peter arrived at the store where he worked promptly at midnight. His face was set in determination. He would protect his mother. He would save his friends. He would make his father proud.

The two men who had approached him the week before were already waiting for him, sitting on benches outside the store. They both stood when they saw him approaching.

"You got our message," the first man said. "Good. The fact that you've come to meet us tells me that we're going to like your decision."

Peter looked at them for a moment. "Before I join you, I have a request."

The second man laughed. "You are not in a position to make requests."

"Let the man talk," the first man said patiently. "What is your request, Pettigrew?"

"I want to make sure that my mum and my friends are safe."

The two men exchanged glances.

"I know that you know who my mum is, and I'm sure that you know who all my friends are," Peter said. "If I join you, I don't want them harmed. I want to know that they will all be safe. I will not do anything to hurt them, and I want to be sure that no one else will, either."

"I think we can arrange that," the first man said. "Come here, and touch this. It will take you to the Dark Lord."

Peter reached out to touch the parchment, and instantly felt himself being transported away from the store.

When his feet slammed into the ground, he was in a large office. He looked up, and saw a crackling fire. A large wing-backed chair was before it. He barely managed not to gasp as he saw Lord Voldemort sitting in the chair. His elbows rested on the arms of the chair, and his fingers were steepled before his face.

"Mr. Pettigrew," he said softly. "I am so glad you have chosen to join us."

"I have a condition," Peter said nervously. He tried desperately to remember his Gryffindor bravery. "I won't join if it isn't met."

"Yes, of course," Voldemort said, waving his hand. "Come here."

Peter stepped forward, practically shaking with nerves.

"Give me your left arm."

"Why?"

"Mr. Pettigrew, when you touched the parchment that brought you here, you agreed to become a Death Eater. I am now going to officially make you a member of my army."

Peter nodded slowly, and held out his left arm.

Voldemort pushed back the sleeve of Peter's robes. He placed his hand on Peter's forearm, muttering an incantation.

Peter screamed in pain as the Dark Mark was blazed into his arm.


	22. Decisions Made

A/N: I'm really sorry this took so long. Taking four grad classes at a time in addition to not having my own computer was a recipe for disaster! However, I'm on winter break now, so I'll be at home with my own computer for a month. I'm going to work ahead as much as I can, so I'll be able to keep updating even after I go back to school.

For everyone whose stories I usually review . . . I know I have a lot of reading to catch up on! That's another of my missions for this month, so be watching for my reviews.

Thank you all for your patience. I know how awful it is to wait for an update, and I do sincerely apologize.

Now, without further ado, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Decisions Made

"You're not going to believe who was just here."

"Then why bother telling me?" Remus asked as he hung his cloak in the hall closet.

"Stop being so literal, you prat," Sirius grinned. "Regulus was just here."

Remus turned to his roommate with wide eyes. "Your brother?"

"Do you know another Regulus?"

Remus shook his head slowly. "Not to be rude, Sirius, but why was he here? Shouldn't he be at Hogwarts?"

"Yes, he should be."

"Then why was he . . . Are your parents all right?"

"That was my first thought, too," Sirius replied, running his hands over his face. "But they're fine."

"Good."

"Well, that's debatable."

"Sirius . . ."

"I know, I know," Sirius sighed, tossing his hands up. "Regulus already yelled at me over it, so save your breath."

Remus nodded, and sat down across from Sirius in the living room. "Well, what did he want?"

Sirius gave him a twisted smile. "Voldemort sent him to recruit me."

Remus' eyes widened even more. "He did what?"

Sirius nodded. "He sent my little brother – a _child_ – to ask me to join his noble cause."

"What did you say?"

Sirius gave him a look of pure annoyance. "Is this what we've come to, Moony? You actually have to ask me something like that?"

"I'm sorry," Remus said quickly. "This whole thing just took my by surprise, that's all."

Sirius nodded, running his hands over his face again. "I know. I'm sorry, too." He exhaled deeply. "You know, Voldemort's actually quite bright. He knows how to hit us where it hurts. He got you with the werewolf thing, and me with my brother . . . If we were weaker people, I can't even imagine what would have happened."

Remus nodded slowly. "Who do you think he'll go for next? James? Olivia? Peter?"

"I don't know," Sirius replied, shaking his head. "It could be any one of us."

"Well, Laura and Lily are safe, since they're Muggle-born," Remus said rationally. "And Dana's a half-blood, so they'll probably avoid her . . ."

"Still, we should warn them all," Sirius said. "Everyone needs to be prepared. This isn't something we want to take anyone by surprise. Who knows what could happen in the wrong situation?"

"You think one of our friends would join the Death Eaters?" Remus asked quickly, startled.

Sirius shrugged. "I would say no, but . . . How well can you truly know another person?"

"That's rather cynical," Remus replied. "I mean, we've known all these people since we were kids!"

"I'm sure none of our friends would do it," Sirius said. "I'm just saying that people do strange things for what they think are the right reasons."

* * *

Weak and shaking, Peter looked up at the Dark Lord – his new master. "What did you do to me?"

"I have made you one of my own," Voldemort replied. "You have taken the Dark Mark. When you feel it burn, you are to Apparate instantly to my side."

"How will I know where you are?"

"You will know," Voldemort replied simply. "I am through with you for now, Pettigrew. Return home, and await my summons."

"Don't you have a task for me?"

Voldemort's eyes narrowed. "Lesson one, Peter," he whispered. "Never question me." He raised his wand. "_Crucio_."

For the second time that night, Peter shrieked in pain.

* * *

_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been selected for the position of professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. We were impressed with you interview, and are certain that you will be a welcome addition to our staff._

_You will be required to attend sessions with our current Defense professor beginning I two weeks' time. You will officially take your position and be required to be present in a professional capacity at Hogwarts on 30 August._

_We await your owl of official acceptance of the position._

_Congratulations, James._

_Sincerely,_

_Albus P.W.B. Dumbledore._

"Lily!" James yelled, running from the kitchen to the living room. "Lily, where are you?"

"Here!" Lily yelled. She rushed from the bedroom to the top of the stairs. "What happened? Are you all right?"

"Better than all right!" James bounded up the stairs three at a time, and grabbed Lily around the waist. "I got the job!"

"At Hogwarts?"

"How many other jobs did I apply for?"

"Oh, James!" Lily squealed. "Congratulations! When do you start?"

"In two weeks." He grinned. "I guess that means I'd better turn in my notice to the Ministry."

"James, don't be rude about it," Lily warned. "Remember, your dad still works there."

"Honestly, Lil, I think I'm a bit offended," James said, pulling away from her slightly. "What do you expect me to do?"

Lily rolled her eyes, and smiled. "I've known you since you were eleven years old, Potter, and I _still_ don't think I'm fully aware of everything that you're capable of. I don't have a clue what you might do! That's the part that scares me!"

James laughed. "You don't think I've grown up since I was eleven?"

"I know you have," Lily smiled, drawing closer to him again. "When you were eleven, I would never have done this." She leaned up, and kissed him.

James pulled away after a moment, and smiled down at her. "Thank goodness I grew up."

"Thank goodness indeed," Lily said, kissing him again.

* * *

"Hey, love."

"Remus!" Laura exclaimed, looking up from the book she had been reading. "Are you ready for James and Lily's party?"

"Well, we still have a few hours before it starts." He sat down next to her on the couch, and she curled up against him. "What do you think the big announcement is?"

"I don't know," she replied. "My first guess would be that Lily's pregnant, but she hasn't said a word about it."

"They haven't even been married six months yet," Remus protested. "How could she be pregnant already?"

Laura raised her eyebrows. "Do I really need to answer that?"

Remus laughed. "No, I suppose not."

"Besides," Laura said, running her hand over his chest, "don't you want to have children soon?"

"I'd rather we were married first," he grinned.

"You know what I mean. We'll be married in less than two months. How soon do you want to try for a baby?"

Remus tipped her chin up to look into her eyes. "You're serious, aren't you? You really want to have a baby soon?"

"I come from a big family, Remus," she said. "I've always wanted to have lots of children."

Remus nodded slowly. "Before we do anything along those lines, I want to talk to my dad, and to the specialists at St. Mungo's. I want to make sure it's a good idea for me to have children."

"Oh, Remus, you'll be a great father!"

He smiled sadly. "I love children, Laura. I always wished I had siblings. Sharing your family is the greatest gift you could have given me. I would love to have children with you. But I want to know that it's safe for me to do so. I will not bring a child like me into the world. I would never ask my child to lead the life I've lived – to endure the struggles I've endured."

"We'll talk to the Healers, then," Laura said soothingly. "But, Remus, you should know that you're a good person. Your life has made you that person. I love you, and I don't think I would if your life had been any different."

He smiled. "You're sweet, you know."

"I try to be."

He shook his head. "I also want to be gainfully employed before we have children."

"Have you talked to Dumbledore yet?"

"Well . . ."

Laura jumped to her feet, and held her hand out to Remus. "Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"To Hogwarts."

* * *

It was odd to walk through the halls of his old school again. It was not he and his friends who hurried along the stone floors. These were different students, who were dealing with different issues. For some reason, the sight of the students made him feel old. So much had changed since he had last been in this place.

Laura squeezed his hand, and he smiled down at her. Some things hadn't changed. The important things remained the same.

They reached the stone gargoyle guarding Dumbledore's office, and Laura released his hand. Remus raised his eyebrows at her.

"You go on. I'll be down in the kitchens. I'm sure the house-elves will have something for me to eat."

Remus frowned slightly, but smiled at the same time. "You remember how to get to the kitchens?"

"Of course," she smiled. "I have this boyfriend who knew everything about the castle, and loved to show me around – and I have a very good memory." She leaned up to kiss him. "Good luck, Remus."

Still smiling, Remus shook his head as he watched her walk away. Once she had disappeared into the sea of students, he turned back to the gargoyle. Dumbledore's office was password-protected – and he didn't know the password. How would he reach the Headmaster?

"Mr. Lupin?"

Remus nearly jumped out of his skin. He turned to see Professor McGonagall walking toward him.

"It is you," she said in disbelief as she drew closer. "What are you doing here?"

"I needed to see the Headmaster," Remus replied.

"Order business?" McGonagall asked stiffly.

"No," Remus said slowly, "it's far more personal than that."

The professor nodded. She knew how close Remus and Dumbledore had become during Remus' time as a student. Both she and the Headmaster had gained amazing respect for Remus as they had watched him battle with himself for control of his own soul. Without another question, she gave the password for Dumbledore's office, making the gargoyle guarding it spring to life. "I hope Albus can help you," she said softly.

"So do I," Remus muttered. "Thanks, Professor."

She nodded, and turned to leave him. Remus stepped onto the revolving staircase, and made his way up to the Headmaster's office.

As he drew closer to the office, he grew more and more nervous. What was he going to say? How could he simply ask this man for a job? His nerves quickly turned to regret for even coming. How could he have let Laura talk him into this? He could have gotten a job at a store or a restaurant or . . .

The staircase stopped moving, and Remus stepped off it. He knocked hesitantly on the door, which magically opened.

Dumbledore looked at him in surprise. "Remus!"

Remus smiled as he entered the room. "Hello, Professor."

"Sit down," Dumbledore invited with a smile. "How are you?"

"Fine," Remus replied. "And you?"

"Busy as always," the Headmaster said, fixing Remus with a penetrating stare. He leaned back in his chair, and smiled slightly. "I can see that this is not a casual social call. Why are you here, Remus? I want a truthful answer. I can see that something is bothering you."

Remus smiled faintly. "How is it that you can always read my mind?"

Dumbledore leaned forward, and smiled. "Remus, that doesn't answer my question."

Remus sighed. "I know."

"Why don't you just start at the beginning," the Headmaster prompted.

"The beginning," Remus muttered. He nodded. "Quite awhile ago, I was approached by two Death Eaters. They wanted me to join their ranks. When I refused, they promised to make me pay."

"I had feared they would begin to target our members," Dumbledore said heavily. "Even the best-kept secrets cannot remain secrets forever." He shook his head slightly. "Forgive me. Please, continue."

"Right," Remus said, trying to sort out exactly what Dumbledore had meant. "Well, shortly after that encounter, the Healers who run the Academy found out that I am a werewolf. They removed me from the program."

"Remus, I am sorry," Dumbledore said, a sadness creeping into his eyes. "It is their loss more than yours. You would have made an excellent Healer."

Remus shook his head. "I didn't have any great love of the healing arts. My father wanted me to be a Healer more than I did. It was to be my career, nothing more."

"But now you aren't sure of what exactly you should do for a career."

"Well, no, I'm not. I would like to do something with Defense Against the Dark Arts, but I'm not sure . . ."

Dumbledore smiled slightly. "I think you are surer than you are saying. Tell me, Remus. What is it you would like to do, and how can I help you do it?"

"I would like to find a way to teach defense, sir." Remus forced himself to maintain eye contact, despite his desire to drop his head to look at the floor. "I know I couldn't teach in a school, but even tutoring would be fine. I just don't know where to begin following this career path. Can you help me? Do you know how I should begin?"

Dumbledore sighed. "Remus, I wish you would have come to me sooner."

"What do you mean?"

"Our Defense professor is retiring at the end of the year. Had I known of your interest, I would have offered you the position."

"I'm too late?" Remus asked, feeling as though he had just been slapped. He should have listened to Laura. He should have come sooner.

"I'm afraid so," Dumbledore said, frowning slightly. "You hadn't heard about this?"

"No. Why should I?"

"Because the position went to James Potter."

* * *

Remus was in a daze as he stepped off the moving staircase, back into the now-deserted hall. It was only due to years of sneaking around the castle with his friends that he managed to find his way to the kitchens. His mind was moving a thousand miles a minute, but paying attention to where he was walking was the least of his concerns.

He reached the painting that hid the door to the kitchens, and tickled the pear without thinking about it. Laura looked up from her conversation with the house-elves as he walked into the warm, inviting room.

"How did it go?" she asked brightly.

Remus sank down onto the nearest stool. From a moment he merely looked at her without replying. An odd expression crossed his face; it was something of shock and regret mingled with anger.

"That well?" Laura asked, the smile sliding off her face.

"Dumbledore just hired a new Defense teacher. He said he would have offered me the job if he had known I was interested."

"Oh, Remus. We should have come sooner!"

"That's not the worst part."

"It gets worse?"

"Yes." He looked down, then up again, his hands balling into fists. "James got the job, Laura. James. One of my best friends. James. The same one who became Head Boy instead of me. James. The one who always comes out ahead of me."

"Remus . . ." Laura said, laying her hand on top of his. She shook her head as though trying to sort everything out. "Did James tell you that he was applying for the job?"

"No. If I had known, do you think I'd be so shocked?"

"If you had known, what difference would it have made? Would you have applied? Would you have competed against your friend?"

"Not if he really wanted it."

"Which he obviously does. And did he know that _you_ wanted the job?"

"No. Only you know that."

"I don't see where you've been wronged, Remus."

Remus banged his fist on the table, and Laura jumped. "Don't you see, Laura? James always beats me – he always beats us all! He never tries to win, and he never tries to hurt anyone, but it always happens!" He paused, and ran his hands over his face. "He's such a good person, and I know I should be happy for him, but it's hard when he's taking what I want again."

"But you can't blame him. He didn't know, and you didn't know . . ."

"I don't understand why he didn't tell me."

"He probably didn't want to tell everyone, just in case he didn't get the job. Lily's probably the only one who knew."

Remus started to nod, then stopped. "No. Lily's never the only one with James. Sirius knew, too."

"Did he say something to you?"

"He didn't have to. He's always been number one with James. And I've always been fine with that."

"And now?"

Remus shrugged. "I don't have much choice, do I? They're my brothers." He stood up, and held a hand out to help Laura to her feet. "Come on. We're going to be late for the party. We can Floo to James and Lily's from here." He gave a wry smile. "At least now we know what the announcement will be."

* * *

"What time is everyone coming?" Lily asked as she put on her earring.

A crack sounded, and James grinned. "I'd say right now."

"Am I the only one here?" Sirius called.

"Yes, you're completely alone in our house," James replied as he left the bedroom. "We invited all our friends over, then left."

"And to think, I brought firewhiskey for the occasion!"

"Yes, that's _just_ what we need," Lily said with a grin, walking down the stairs to join James and Sirius.

Sirius grinned, and leaned over to kiss her cheek. "Hi, Little Flower."

"Hi, Sirius. Where are Olivia and Remus?"

"Am I there keeper?"

Lily shrugged. "You tend to travel in packs."

Sirius grinned again. "Well, if you must know, Olivia needed time to redo her makeup, and Remus and Laura are coming over together. Don't ask me about Peter or Dana, though." He paused, and raised an eyebrow. "Tell me, guys. What is the reason for this not-so-spur-of-the-moment dinner?"

"You'll see when everyone gets here," James replied with a smile.

"My God," Sirius said, his eyes growing round. He turned back to Lily. "You're pregnant, aren't you?"

"No!" Lily laughed. "We haven't even been married for a year yet! Why would you think that?"

"Logical conclusion," Sirius shrugged.

Lily shook her head, and James laughed.

"I don't think we're quite ready for kids yet, Padfoot."

"Yeah, they'd have it pretty rough with you two for parents," Sirius replied in mock seriousness.

"Prat," James laughed, punching his friend's shoulder.

Sirius returned the punch, and Lily shook her head.

"Why would I need children when I have the two of you?"

James and Sirius laughed, and ceased their battle. A crack split the air again, and Peter appeared.

"Hey, guys." He immediately collapsed into the nearest chair.

James and Sirius looked at one another in alarm. They sat down on either side of their friend.

"Wormtail, are you all right?" James asked.

"Of course," Peter replied, smoothing down his sleeves. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You look awful," Sirius said bluntly.

"Well, that's nice," Peter snapped. "After all I've been through – after all I've done for you –"

"Calm down, Peter," Sirius interrupted quickly, regret shadowing his eyes. "I'm sorry, all right? We all know you've been through a lot with your dad and all, and I should have thought of that before I opened my mouth. I'm sorry."

Peter nodded, and closed his eyes as though too exhausted to continue the conversation. "Just think before you act, all right?"

"Sure, Mum."

The fireplace sprang to life, and Remus and Laura stepped out of it. James looked at them in surprise.

"You Flooed over?"

"Yes," Remus said shortly.

James nodded, and gave them a curious look. He was about to speak again when Olivia Apparated into the house.

"Am I the last one here?" she asked.

"No, Dana and Aidan aren't here yet," Lily said. She glanced at her watch. "Everything will be ready in a few minutes. Will they be here?"

Olivia shrugged. "I haven't seen Dana since this morning. They must be at Aidan's place."

Lily nodded uncertainly. "Should we start without them?"

"Yes," Sirius replied. "I'm starving."

"And that's a change from the usual how, exactly?" James asked.

"Prat," Sirius laughed, punching James' shoulder.

"Oh, I am _not_ doing this again," Lily said, walking toward the kitchen. "I'll just go finish dinner."

"I'll help," Olivia and Laura said as one, jumping to their feet.

Dana and Aidan still had not appeared by the time they sat down to dinner. Deciding they could join them later, they began their meal. Once everyone had been served, James cleared his throat.

"Everyone," he said, "we invited you all here tonight to share some special news."

Remus looked down. Laura reached beneath the table to squeeze his hand. He smiled at her, and laced his fingers through hers.

"What's the news?" Peter asked.

"You're pregnant," Sirius said.

The girls gasped, and jerked their heads toward Lily.

"Sirius, honestly!" Lily laughed. "Didn't we say no to that already?"

"Yes, but I thought maybe you didn't want me to know before everyone else."

James shook his head. "When Lily's pregnant, Sirius, you'll be the first to know."

"Good," Sirius grinned.

James shook his head again. "Now that we've straightened that out, the real news is that I've found a new job."

"Where?" Olivia asked.

James grinned. "A little place I think you're all familiar with – it's called Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

"You got the job?" Sirius exclaimed, jumping to his feet.

"I did," James grinned. "As of August 30, I will be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts."

"Congratulations!" Sirius exclaimed, pulling James into a manly, back-slapping hug.

As soon as he released him, Olivia flung her arms around him. Peter was next to offer his congratulations, followed by Laura. Once Laura had stepped back, Remus moved toward him.

"Congratulations, Prongs," he said, shaking his friend's hand.

"Thanks," James replied. "You know, Moony, I owe this job to you. I never would have done so well in Defense without your help. I wish I could share this with you somehow."

Remus smiled, and changed his mind about the handshake. James didn't know about his desire to teach. How could he? Remus had never told anyone except Laura. James – his friend of so many years – didn't deserve a handshake. Remus pulled him into a hug.

* * *

"Liv! Liv, where are you?"

Olivia shoved her hands against Sirius' chest. "Looks like Dana finally made it home."

Sirius rolled off her, across the bed. "Does that mean our 'alone time' is over?"

"I'm afraid so," Olivia said as she stood up.

"Olivia!"

"I'm coming!" Olivia called, straightening her clothes.

The door to her bedroom burst open, and Dana bounded in. "Here you are!"

"Indeed," Olivia said, giving her a pointed look.

Dana's eyes fell on the bed, which Sirius was still sprawled across. She giggled. "I guess I should be thankful you're both still clothed."

Olivia shook her head. "Where have you been all day? You missed James and Lily's party! They had the greatest news!"

"What is it?" Dana asked, looking as if she was going to explode. "Tell me quickly, because I have news for you, too!"

Olivia gave her an odd look. "Well, James just got the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts."

Dana's eyes widened. "Did he really? That's brilliant! I didn't even know he was applying!"

"None of us did. It was quite a surprise." She glanced at Sirius with a smile. "Well, maybe a _few_ of us knew."

Sirius shrugged. "James is my best mate. We tell one another things."

Olivia shook her head. "All right, Dana, that's our news. Now, tell us yours before you burst."

Dana grinned, and bit her lip. "Come into the living room."

Olivia and Sirius exchanged a glance and a shrug, then followed Dana into the living room. Aidan was there, standing in the middle of the room, clasping and unclasping his hands. Olivia looked from one of them to the other.

"What's going on here, guys?"

Dana looked at Aidan for a moment, then back at Olivia. "We just got married!" she shrieked.

"What?" Olivia and Sirius gasped in unison.

"We're married! We just went and did it today!"

"Do your parents know?"

"Of course. They were there. They were the only ones – we needed witnesses, you know."

"Of course," Olivia said slowly. "I just . . . Dana! I can't believe it!"

"Believe it," Dana said, shifting her eyes from Olivia's face to Aidan's. Her face glowed as her eyes met his. "It's real. It really happened. We're married!"

Olivia gave a shriek, and launched herself at Dana, pulling her into a tight hug. Both girls were crying when they finally broke their embrace.

"I'm so happy for you," Olivia said, wiping at her tears. "I'm so happy for you, but I'm going to miss you so much around here."

"I know," Dana sighed. "We'll still see each other, but it won't be the same. I'm going to miss you, too."

Olivia hugged Dana again, then released her, and kissed her cheek. She looked up at Aidan. "You'd better take care of her, or you're going to have me to answer to."

Aidan smiled. "I will," he promised. "I'll protect her with my life if I need to."

"Good," Olivia said. "I'll hold you to that."

"We have to go tell the others," Dana said, taking Aidan's hand again. "But I wanted you to know first."

Olivia smiled. "You'll be back later?"

"Yes, I'll need to get some of my things. It's going to be a process to move!"

Olivia nodded, feeling the tears threatening again.

Sensing that things would only get more difficult if they prolonged the moment, Dana smiled. "We'll see you later! We need to get to James and Lily's!"

With two pops, they were gone. Olivia looked up at Sirius.

"Can you believe that?" he asked with a grin.

"I know," Olivia said. "I always thought that Dana wanted a big wedding – something like what James and Lily had."

"That's not what I meant," Sirius said.

"What did you mean?" Olivia frowned.

"I can't believe they're married!"

"Why not?" Olivia asked. "They've been together a long time – longer than we have."

"Still . . . don't you think they're a little young?"

"James and Lily are our age, too. And so are Remus and Laura, and look at them." A slight frown crossed her face. "All our friends are getting married, Sirius. I don't think we're too young – not anymore."

Sirius shook his head. "Well, I do. We're far too young for that."

Olivia's frown deepened. "You really think so?"

"You don't?" he asked in surprise.

"No."

He shook his head, and pulled her close. "Let's not think about that anymore."

"Sirius, I think we need to talk about –"

He silenced her with a kiss. After a moment, his lips traveled down her neck, and she leaned closer into him.

"What did you want to talk about?" he murmured.

"Never mind," she said dreamily, running her hands through his hair. "I've forgotten."

* * *

James walked through the silent halls of Hogwarts, trying to shake off his nerves. He had been here before. He had spent seven years of his life in this place. He had even been to this particular teacher's office before.

He couldn't stop the nerves as he knocked on the office door. It swung open before he was truly ready, and his old Defense professor stood before him.

"Well," the older man smiled. "James Potter. I never imagined that I'd see you back here again."

"I wasn't exactly expecting it myself, Professor Prewett" James admitted with a grin.

The old man opened the door wider. "Well, come in. We have a lot of work to do."

James smiled again, and followed Professor Prewett into his office. Boxes were stacked everywhere, evidence that this room was soon to see a new occupant. The professor sat down behind his desk, and motioned for James to take the seat across from him.

"Dumbledore wants me to teach you how to be a teacher, James," Prewett said. "But he certainly hasn't left us enough time for that. I'll teach you enough so that you can get by, and then you'll have to learn from experience.

"You do have some very valuable assets, though. Firstly, you have your colleagues. You won't find better teachers anywhere. They aren't just talented in teaching and in their subject areas, they're wonderful people. Hogwarts teachers always work together, and we always help one another. That's how it's always been around here, and, I dare say, how it always will be.

"Secondly, you have a good command of Defense Against the Dark Arts. I remember teaching you. You were always very good. You weren't the best in your year, but you could keep up with the best quite easily. That knowledge you obtained will serve you well now.

"And finally, you have the most important asset – your membership in the Order of the Phoenix." He paused, and leaned closer to James. "Do you know why that's so important, James?"

"No, sir, I don't."

He leaned in even closer. "Because you're going to teach the same defensive magic you use there. These are dark times, James. Our students don't need to know about dark creatures, they need to know about dark magic. They need to know how to fight it." He handed James a stack of parchment. "These are the syllabi I've used to teach from for over forty years. Today, you and I are going to revise them."

James nodded as he looked down at the parchment. The rather awesome thought that he was holding this man's entire career in his hands filled his mind. He gave an involuntary shudder.

Almost as if he knew what James was thinking, the old Defense teacher nodded. "I was a good Defense professor in my time. But times are changing, James, and we must change with them. Hogwarts needs new blood, and it has that in you." He picked up a quill. "Come on. Let's start with the first years."

* * *

Peter waved his wand, turning off the lights in the store. He walked out, closing the door behind him. With another wave of his wand, it was locked. The shop was closed for the night.

He had just begun to walk home when he felt the burning in his arm. He gasped, and clutched his forearm. He had not anticipated that so much pain would accompany his summons.

The pain was driven from his mind as a location filled it. He was confused for a moment, feeling as if he knew this place, yet knowing he had never seen it. He pushed aside his discomfort, and Disapparated.

Dozens of hooded figures were filling the room. Peter looked around in awe. The Dark Lord's army was immense! How could Dumbledore and his small Order ever hope to compete with this?

A man grabbed Peter, and pulled him into a side chamber. Peter struggled against his captor, but the man was stronger than he was. He laughed at Peter's attempts to get away.

"So suspicious," he chuckled. "I'm not going to hurt you, Pettigrew. Don't you remember me? I brought you into this noble cause."

The man lowered his hood, and Peter recognized him as one of the men who had approached him after work, presenting him with the opportunity to join the Death Eaters. He relaxed, ceasing his struggles.

"Here," the man said, handing Peter a set of robes. "Any time we meet or act together as Death Eaters, you must wear these. Our secrecy is of the utmost importance. Your identity must remain a mystery."

Peter nodded, and pulled on the robes. He adjusted the mask and hood to hide his face. His fellow Death Eater nodded with satisfaction.

"Now you are ready. Come, we can't keep them waiting."

They entered the larger room, which was now full of Death Eaters. They took spots in the circle that was forming around the Dark Lord. Peter tried not to tremble as his master's eyes surveyed him. He didn't want to show that he was afraid.

"My friends," Voldemort said softly, "the time has come for us to strike again. There is a settlement north of here containing Mudbloods and Muggle-lovers. We will attack on Friday evening. The Aurors and Dumbledore will not expect it. Our mission . . ."

Peter stopped listening. Dumbledore? The Dark Lord knew of the Order? Did he know of their members? Did he know of Peter's now-dual memberships? He had promised Peter that he would not hurt his friends. But what if . . .?

Peter forced himself to pay attention to the matter at hand. At the very least, he would be prepared from both sides.


	23. The Professor

I don't own Harry Potter.

The Professor

Olivia glanced at her watch for the fourth time in as many minutes. It wasn't like Dana to be late. No, that wasn't quite right – Dana had taken to always coming late in the weeks since her marriage to Aidan. What had marriage done to her?

Even as the thought went through Olivia's head, Dana appeared, hurrying around the corner. Her face was flushed when she finally reached her friend.

"Sorry," she panted. "I got held up in class. Unfortunately, the Healers don't think of mealtimes as set events. I ran all the way here."

"You should have Apparated," Olivia offered.

Dana rolled her eyes. "Into a Muggle neighborhood? Are you trying to get me expelled from the wizarding world, or just Healer training?"

Olivia laughed. "Sometimes I forget where we are."

"Sometimes I worry about you," Dana replied. "Come on, let's find a place for lunch. I'm starving! And we both need to be back in time for our afternoon classes."

They quickly found a café that had tables open. They studied their menus in silence for several moments; it wasn't until after their order was taken that they began their conversation in earnest.

"So, how are you?" Dana asked.

"I should be asking you!" Olivia replied. "How's married life?"

Dana looked at her closely, watching the shadow that fell across her friend's eyes. "It's great," she said carefully. "Aidan's a sweetheart. You know, it's odd – how many people can honestly say they married the person they fell in love with at the age of fifteen?"

"It seems to be a trend among our friends."

Dana folded her hands on the table. "Olivia, answer me this time. How are you?"

Olivia sighed. "I'm ashamed to even say how I feel."

"Liv, we've been friends since we were little girls. There isn't shame between us anymore. You, Lily and I know each other better than sisters. We don't judge one another. You know that. Just say what's on your mind."

Olivia drew a deep breath. "I miss having you around at home. When Lily left, it was all right because you were there, but now I'm all alone."

Dana frowned. "That's nothing to be ashamed of, and we both know it. You would never be afraid to admit that to me, or to anyone else. I would think that you would value our friendship enough to be honest with me, and to tell me what really has you so upset."

Olivia smiled sheepishly. "Well, I _do_ miss you. That isn't a lie. It just isn't the whole truth."

"And what is the whole truth?"

Her smile faded. "I'm jealous of you, Dana."

Dana's eyes widened in shock. "What?"

"Yes, I really said that. Not just of you. Of Lily, too, and of Laura. I'm jealous because you're all getting married and starting lives with the men you love. What I said before about when it was just Lily leaving was true. When Lily and James got married, I was fine with it. Everyone had always known that they would get married. Even when we were little girls and Lily proclaimed that she hated James on a daily basis, we knew that she loved him – you, Kathleen and I."

Dana's eyes momentarily clouded. "Yes, we knew. But what has changed now, Liv?"

"Everything! Remus and Laura are within weeks of their wedding, and you and Aidan just got married . . . Everyone is growing up except for Sirius and I."

"Have you spoken to Sirius about this?"

"I've tried, but he just says that we're too young."

"But you don't agree?"

"Clearly we aren't," Olivia replied in annoyance. "Look at the three couples I just listed – you and Aidan included! Do _you_ think we're too young?"

"That's a tough question, Liv," Dana said slowly. "I don't think it has anything to do with age. It's all about being ready for the responsibility."

"Well, I am."

"Yes, I can see that you are – but is Sirius?"

"He should be."

"You can't make him be ready if he isn't."

"Why not?"

"Liv," Dana sighed, "don't push him on this. You might end up pushing him away."

"He should realize that he's going to push me away if he won't consider this."

Dana's eyes widened again. "Liv, are you saying . . . Do you love Sirius?"

"Yes, of course I do."

Dana leaned forward, her eyes bright. "Then hold on to that love. Don't let it go, and don't forget it. Don't throw what you have with Sirius away because you two can't get yourselves together to talk about this. And you _do_ need to talk about it. Sit him down and make him listen."

Olivia shook her head. "I'm through trying to talk to him about it. He's the man. It's his job to propose to me."

"Liv . . ."

"No, Dana. He needs to figure this out on his own."

* * *

James's feet shook slightly as he climbed the stone steps to the massive front doors of Hogwarts. He grasped the banister to steady himself, and continued his journey.

He walked through the front doors, into the silent entrance hall. It was no longer odd to see it completely devoid of students. During his evening sessions with Professor Prewett over the summer, he had become accustomed to the emptiness. But he was still nervous. This wasn't a session with Professor Prewett. Those had ended. Today was different. Today would set the pattern for all the days to come. He glanced around warily, wondering what to do and where to go.

"Potter, you're here early."

James turned to his right, and saw Professor McGonagall striding toward him. "Good morning, Professor."

She nodded. "We have a staff meeting at nine. Until then, I'm sure you have some work to do."

James nodded, trying to pull together his scrambled thoughts. "I do. Where will the meeting be?"

"In the staffroom."

James nodded again, and smiled. "I'll see you at nine, then." He turned to walk down the hall to his classroom.

"Don't be late," Professor McGonagall cautioned.

James turned to face her again, feeling once again every inch her student. "I won't be."

He walked briskly through the corridors to his classroom. He opened the door and walked inside, closing it behind him. He leaned against the cool wood of the door for a moment, and exhaled deeply. He closed his eyes, and gave himself a mental shake. He had to get his nerves under control He couldn't very well teach a class in defense if he was afraid of his very job.

"Come on, James," he whispered to himself. "You're a Gryffindor. Start acting like it."

He opened his eyes, and surveyed his classroom. It was dark and imposing, as it had always been during his own schooldays. It was still Professor Prewett's classroom.

As Prewett himself had said, it was time for change. James waved his wand, and the shutters over the windows banged open. At once, the room was flooded with sunlight. James nodded. Things were already improving.

After an hour and a half, the classroom was beginning to feel more like "his" room. He had removed most of Professor Prewett's dark creature artifacts, replacing them with cases full of books about defensive spells and dark magic. He had cleaned out a cupboard and filled it with cushions, which would be useful when his students were practicing spells that resulted in their partner tumbling to the floor. He had rearranged the desks in a semicircle, which would make demonstrations and practice sessions easier. James looked around the room and nodded. He was ready to meet his students. He was ready to be a teacher.

* * *

"Welcome back to all of you."

The noise in the staffroom died down as Dumbledore greeted them. All the teachers turned to him with smiles. They looked as eager as he did to begin the new school year.

"Our first order of business is to welcome our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher," Dumbledore smiled. "As I'm sure you will recall, William Prewett decided to end his teaching days at the end of last year. James Potter will be stepping into his position. Please, James, stand up, and remind us all of who you are."

Flushing slightly, James stood while the other teachers clapped. When he took his seat again, Professor Sprout gave him a wink. He smiled at her. Looking around the room, he realized that the entire staff was smiling at him. He smiled as well, remembering Professor Prewett's words. This staff worked together, and would be there to help him.

"Now," Dumbledore smiled, "on to our opening procedures. All teachers are to be here on the first at three o'clock to assist with the student arrival. Our students will arrive at the school on six in the evening, as usual. Hagrid will bring in our first years, and Minerva will handle the Sorting. All other teachers will assist the Head Boy and Girl and the prefects as they bring the upperclassmen into the Great Hall. Once the students have been seated, you will take your places at the staff table." He glanced up from his notes with a smile. "As you can see, nothing has changed.

"Minerva has your class schedules and rosters ready for you. Remember, attendance must be taken every day, in every class. Minerva will take your weekly attendance and lesson plans on Fridays. Remember, those are your plans for the upcoming week, not the week you just finished – and your plans should _change_ every week." His eyes twinkled as they scanned the room, and he didn't quite manage to hide his smile.

James nodded. Professor Prewett had told him all of this, and had taught him how to record attendance and write lesson plans He had been a bit surprised that Professor McGonagall was in charge of so much, but Prewett had shrugged off the question.

"When Dumbledore was Deputy Headmaster, he did the same," he had said. "If he ever leaves and McGonagall takes his job, she can shove those tasks onto her Deputy. The Deputy Headmaster – or Headmistress – works harder than anyone in this school, James. They know it when they take the job."

"I trust that you have your curricula and syllabi in place for the year," Dumbledore said. "Copies of each will need to be submitted to me by Friday."

Again, James nodded. Prewett had made him duplicate everything they had written in anticipation of Dumbledore's request.

"I believe that's all I have for you right now. Lunch will be served at noon in the Great Hall. Heads of House, I will need you to stay for a moment. Everyone else, I will see you at noon."

James took one last careful look around the staffroom as he stood to leave. Sirius would be sure to want a complete description. He smiled, thinking of the hours he and his friends had spent speculating about what might be in the teachers' staffroom. It was somehow ironic that he was now invited into the room as an equal.

_I would never have imagined myself to be a teacher_, he thought to himself as he walked back to his classroom. _Never_.

* * *

"Zeller, Audra!"

A trembling little girl – the last in a long line of students – made her way to the stool in the front of the Great Hall. She sat down, and McGonagall placed the Sorting Hat on her head. There was a moment's silence, and then –

"GRYFFINDOR!"

James applauded with the other teachers, wishing that he could cheer with the Gryffindors. Audra grinned as she took her seat at her new House table; James knew he had a matching grin on his own face. Professor Flitwick leaned closer to him.

"Don't favor them, James."

James turned to him in confusion. "What?"

"The Gryffindors – don't favor them because it's your House. All the students will notice, and it certainly won't make them respect you." Flitwick smiled, and patted James's hand. "That's the best advice I can give you, Professor Potter. Treat them all equally."

"Thanks," James smiled.

Dumbledore stood, ending all conversations. James and Flitwick both straightened up in their chairs. McGonagall appeared, taking her position next to the Headmaster.

"Welcome to Hogwarts," Dumbledore beamed. "Before we begin the serious business of eating, I'd like to inform you of our staff changes. Professor Prewett left us at the end of last year after a long run as our professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts. He will be replaced by Professor Potter. Welcome to Hogwarts, Professor!"

James smiled as he stood to be recognized. The students applauded; several cheered. He grinned again, and sat down. At once, Flitwick leaned closer to him again.

"Be firm with the upperclassmen," he whispered. "They're the ones who cheered. They know you, and they think you'll be more their friend than their teacher. You have to show them that you're in charge."

James swallowed, and nodded. For some reason, he was beginning to dread the first day of class.

* * *

It was the first day of school. James walked into his first class – Gryffindor seventh years – with a smile. He could handle this. He knew these students. He had given them orders during his tenure as Head Boy. How much harder could teaching be?

The students were lounging around the classroom when James walked in. Four girls were reading magazines and talking. A group in the back was playing Exploding Snap. One girl was chewing Drooble's Best Blowing Gum and blowing bubble after bubble. A boy had wireless, and was blaring his music.

"Can I have your attention?" James called.

"You're not Head Boy anymore, Potter," a boy called. "We don't have to listen to you!"

"I'm your teacher," James replied. A bubble from the girl's gum popped on his shoulder, covering his robes with gum. "Stop it!"

"You're our friend, James," a girl giggled. She flipped a page of her magazine. "You're the cool teacher."

"No," James said, panicking. "No, I'm not your friend."

Professor Flitwick flew in on a broomstick. "Don't be their friend, James. Make them respect you."

James woke up with a gasp. He lay still in bed for a moment, trying to slow his racing heart. The sense of panic gradually left him. He was still at home, in his bed. School hadn't started yet. He didn't have the Gryffindor seventh years until his NEWT class on Tuesday. His first class would be the Hufflepuff third years.

He rolled over to look at the clock. It was only ten after six. Even so, he didn't want to sleep again. He didn't want to chance another nightmare. Trying to be quiet, he climbed out of bed.

"James?"

He turned to see Lily blinking her sleep-heavy eyes. "I'm right here, love."

"What time is it?"

"A little after six."

Lily frowned. "What are you doing up so early? You don't have to be at school until eight."

"After the dream I just had, I think I'm going to need the extra time to prepare for my classes."

"What dream?" Lily propped herself up on her elbow. Now fully awake, she pushed her hair out of her face.

"It was silly. Don't worry about it." James glanced at the clock. "Why don't you get some more sleep? There's no reason for you to be up this early."

"There's every reason," Lily replied, sitting up straight. "This dream obviously has you upset. Tell me about it."

James sighed, and sat down on the bed. "The general idea is that I was teaching the Gryffindor seventh years, who were being horribly disrespectful. They wouldn't listen to me, they kept saying that I was their friend, that I was the cool teacher . . ." He trailed off. "Dumbledore trusted me enough to offer me this job, Lil. I don't want to let him down."

"You won't let him down, James," Lily said, taking his hand in hers. "It was just a dream. You were Head Boy; you know how to command respect. You're going to be a fantastic teacher. Dumbledore believes in you, and I believe in you, too."

James smiled, and leaned in to kiss her. "Thank you," he whispered against her lips.

Her lips stretched into a smile against his. "I love you, James."

"I love _you_."

* * *

"You don't like the food as much now as you did when you were a student?"

James looked up from picking at his breakfast to smile at his former Divination professor. "I had breakfast at home with Lily. I'm not really hungry anymore."

Professor Turner nodded. "It's good that you decided to sit down here. It'll help the students get to know your face."

"A lot of them already know it."

"You'll do fine, James." She gave him the same mysterious smile he remembered from his days as a student. "I can say without a doubt that you'll be a good teacher."

"Thanks, Professor," James smiled, thinking that if she kept being so nice, he might have to forgive her for being the Head of Slytherin House. "Are you excited for the first day?"

"Ah, James," she sighed. "No, I'm not. I think it may be time for me to retire. When you aren't nervous and excited for the first day of class, you shouldn't be teaching anymore." She shook her head. "Don't say anything just yet. I haven't made my final decision."

Resisting the urge to make a smart comment about her lack of divination skills, James nodded. "I won't," he promised as the bell rang, commanding everyone to their first class.

Professor Turner smiled her mysterious smile again. "I know you won't. That's why I told you."

Maybe she could See some things. James gave her one last half smile, and rose from his chair. He was sure he would never understand her.

Professor Turner was the farthest thing from his mind as he walked into his classroom. His students were already there, seated at the desks he had arranged. They all stared at him as he walked to the front of the room. Shoving aside his nerves, he smiled at them.

"Good morning," he said. "I'm Professor Potter, and this is Defense Against the Dark Arts. I want to explain the class to you, but first I want to know who you are – so I'll know who I'm talking to." He pointed his wand at his desk. "_Accio Hufflepuff third year roster_!"

Several students' eyes widened as the parchment zoomed toward him. He smiled slightly, sure that those students were his Muggle-borns. All wizarding children had seen a Summoning Charm before, even if they didn't learn it until fourth year. It was a favorite of all mothers.

James went down the roster, trying to match the students' names with their faces. He hoped to learn their names quickly. Once he was done with the class attendance, he placed the list on his desk again.

"Right. Now, we're here to learn defense. From what I understand, you've learned quite a bit about dark creatures, correct?"

The students' heads bobbed up and down in agreement. James nodded with them.

"That's great. I'm glad to know that you have a strong base in defense against dark creatures. However, this year, we're going to go a slightly different route. We're going to learn about dark magic."

Several students gasped. James smiled.

"I think I said that wrong. We're going to learn how to _fight_ dark magic – defensive spells and so on. Understand?"

The students nodded again. Some faces showed excitement, some showed relief, and a few looked nervous. James nodded.

"Good. Now, let's start by brainstorming. Everyone find a partner."

Slight chaos ensued as the students all scrambled to work with their friends. One group had three people, due to the uneven number of students in the class. They all chatted as they sat down again and pulled their desks together. James frowned as he watched. There had to be a better way of doing this.

"Right. I need your attention again."

The students gradually stopped talking and shifted their attention back to James. He frowned slightly at the continued delay.

"We are going to look at four questions. You will discuss them with your partner. There is no wrong answer right now, but everyone needs an answer – we will discuss each group's answers as a class. For your first question: What is dark magic? Talk with your partner for five minutes, then we'll look at your answers."

After five minutes had passed, James requested the groups' answers. They ranged from brilliant to absurd, but James wrote each of them on the board. He then asked them to discuss the curses they knew, the defensive spells they knew and the point of learning defensive magic.

"Now," he said at last, "what _is_ the reason for studying defense? Why are we all here? Who can tell me?"

A timid hand went up in the middle of the room. James smiled encouragingly.

"Yes, Miss Davies?"

"We're learning to fight You-Know-Who," she said in a voice just above a whisper.

James flicked his wand at the board. Cara Davies's words appeared their, shimmering slightly. She flushed at the look of pride that James gave her.

"You are absolutely right. That is the reason we're here, everyone. Because Voldemort doesn't discriminate." He sighed as many students flinched at the sound of the Dark Lord's name. "He has killed many people, and destroyed many lives. He has killed some of my own friends and family members. But we're going to learn to fight him, because someday, somehow, Voldemort must be stopped." He paused. "And I'm going to call him by his name, so get used to hearing it right now." He glanced at his watch.

"We still have some time left today. Let's start with the Disarming Spell. Notebooks out, please. We'll start with the theory, the practice the spell itself." He gave them a smile. "By the end of the week, I want you to be able to disarm one another. By the end of the term, I want you to be able to disarm _me_."

* * *

Lily took her best knife out of the chopping block, and began rapidly slicing carrots. Every once in awhile, she liked to make dinner the Muggle way – the ways her mother had taught her when she was a little girl. She hummed to herself as she worked, remembering afternoons spent in the kitchen with her mother.

A crack spilt the air, shattering her from her dream-world. The knife fell from her hand with a clatter.

"Sirius!" she exclaimed.

"How did you know it was me?" Sirius laughed as he walked into the kitchen.

Lily gave him an exasperated smile. "Who else makes that sound when they Apparate?"

"You know my Apparition sound? I'm touched." Sirius took a piece of carrot from the cutting board, and tossed it in his mouth.

"Touched in the head," Lily laughed. "Stop eating my carrots, or I won't have enough food to invite you to stay for dinner.'

"Oh, I'm getting an invitation, then?"

"As if you'd be anywhere else the night of James's first day of school!"

"As if you'd try to keep me away," Sirius replied with a grin.

Lily smiled. "I know how much it means to James to have you here. It means a lot to me, too. The bond that you two share is amazing."

"He's my brother," Sirius said simply. "I'd do anything for him – and I'd do anything for _you_, Little Flower."

Lily smiled again. "I'm glad you're on our side, Sirius."

Sirius dripped into a chair at the table, his cocky smile back in place. Obviously, the conversation had gotten a bit too heavy for him. "So, when will the man of the hour be home?"

"It's the first day, so I'm not sure yet." Lily eyed the amount of carrots she had chopped. "Is Olivia coming over as well?"

"Got me."

Lily frowned, and looked straight at Sirius. "What's that supposed to mean?"

His face darkened, his features nearly a scowl. "It means that I don't know her every move. She doesn't report back to me every hour."

Lily's frown deepened. She crossed the room, and sat down at the table across from Sirius. "All right. Out with it. Tell me what the problem is."

"Lils, I don't _know_ what the problem is! Everything was fine, and now . . ."

"And now?" Lily prompted.

Sirius shrugged. "Something's different. I don't understand it, and I don't know how to fix it. How can I even _try_ to fix it when I don't know what's wrong?"

"Did you have a fight?"

"No! I think that's part of the problem." He grinned sheepishly. "You know how we are. We were famous for our rows at Hogwarts. But for the past two weeks, we haven't fought over anything. Olivia's been upset, though. I just don't know why."

"Did you ask her?"

"Yes, of course. She just gave me this look, and said she didn't want to talk about it. But we haven't talked about anything!" He ran his hands over his face. When he lowered them, he gave Lily a hopeful look. "Do you know what's going on with her? Has she said anything to you?"

"She hasn't said a word to me," Lily answered honestly. "I wish I could help you, Sirius, but this is the first I've heard of it."

"It's not your fault," Sirius sighed. "I'll just have to try to talk to her again, that's all."

A pop sounded, and Lily gave Sirius a beaming smile.

"That's James!" She jumped up, eager to greet her husband.

"Indeed it is," James said as he came into the kitchen. He pulled Lily close and kissed her. He pulled his head away, but kept his arms around her. "Well, Padfoot, what brings you over?"

"I came to see the professor, of course," Sirius grinned. "I think I could use some extra help with my defensive spells."

"You need some help, all right," James grinned. "I'm just not sure that it's within my area of expertise."

Sirius laughed. "How was your first day of school?"

"Sit in here to talk," Lily said, stepping away from James. "I want to hear everything, but I need to finish cooking."

"It was stressful," James said as he took the seat that Lily had vacated. "I never realized how hard just learning the students' names would be! But I liked it – teaching. I think it got a little easier with each class."

"Do you have Slytherins?" Sirius asked.

"Of course," James laughed. "Who else would teach them? I only had the Slytherin first years today. They didn't seem too awful – but they're fist years, so they're still afraid of everything. I have my seventh year NEWT class tomorrow morning, though, which will have Slytherins in it. That's one of the ones I'm worried about."

"It'll have Gryffindors, too, right?" Sirius asked.

"Right," James replied, exchanging a glance with Lily.

Sirius looked from one of them to the other. "All right, what am I missing?"

James sighed. "I'm just worried about teaching the seventh years, that's all. They're the ones who will remember me as a student."

"So?" Sirius frowned slightly. "They'll remember you as Head Boy. They'll know they have to respect you."

"I wish I could be so sure."

"What makes you so sure they _won't_ respect you?"

James smiled, flushing slightly. "I had this dream last night about teaching the Gryffindor seventh years. It was basically awful. They wouldn't listen . . . they were just disrespectful."

"James, it was just a dream!" Sirius said bracingly. "I'm sure actually teaching them will be completely different."

James shook his head. "Dreams are a powerful thing. They can tell you quite a bit. Don't you remember Divination?"

"I remember the awful marks I got in it. Are you telling me you actually _believe_ in that rubbish now?"

"I'm just saying that my dream could have meant something."

"Or it could have meant nothing."

"Can you two suspend the debate?" Lily asked. "Dinner's ready."

"Yeah, I need to save my debate skills for tomorrow," Sirius said.

"What's tomorrow?" Lily asked.

"Liv and I are going shopping for a wedding present for Remus and Laura."

James looked up sharply at his friend's tone. "Are you and Liv having problems?"

Sirius sighed. "Do you want the full story or the abridged version?"


	24. Dreams and Nightmares

A/N: Well, I'm sure you've all heard the very exciting news about the publication of book six at this point, and I'm sure you're just as thrilled as I am! It's made me even more determined to finish this story before it becomes AU, so you should be seeing quite a few rapid updates for the next month . . . and maybe even after that!

As for this chapter . . . all you fans of Remus and Laura, enjoy!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Dreams and Nightmares

_And yes some dreams come true,_

_And yes some dreams fall through . . . _

Belle_, A Muppet Christmas Carol _

James drew a deep breath as he left his office. This was it. With the ring of the bell, his seventh year NEWT class would begin.

He walked into the classroom as the bell was ringing. His students – twenty of them – were already seated at their desks. They had their book and quills out, and were chatting amongst themselves.

"Good morning," James said as he shut the door.

"Good morning," the students replied. They lapsed into silence.

He walked to the front of the room, his "game face" securely in place. It was the face he had always won when disciplining students during his days as Head Boy – the face that made it clear that he was the one in charge, and that he would not tolerate being spoken to with anything but respect.

"I am Professor Potter, and this is NEWT level Defense Against the Dark Arts," he said. He glanced around the room. "I think I know most of you already, but let's be sure." He picked up his class list, and began taking role.

The students were respectfully quiet as he went over their names. He had been right about remembering them – there were only three students whose names he had forgotten. His class held ten Ravenclaws, five Gryffindors, three Slytherins and two Hufflepuffs. He wasn't surprised by the skewed numbers; all the NEWT level classes were always Ravenclaw-heavy.

"Right," he said once he had placed the roster back on his desk. "Before we begin, I want you to understand that this year will be a bit different than your other Defense classes. We are going to focus completely on fighting dark magic. I know that you have done some work with this in the past, but this year will take your abilities to a new level."

A hand went up to his left. James nodded at Jacob Kent, a Ravenclaw that he remembered as being particularly studious.

"Yes?"

"How will this affect our chances to do well on our NEWTs?"

"It will only increase them," James assured him. "Nearly every spell, charm and counterjinx that you learn this year will show up on the NEWTs. And even more than doing well on your exams, you'll be better prepared to defend yourself once you've graduated from Hogwarts, which is perhaps the most important thing of all."

The students all nodded. They were aware of the events taking place in their world. Many of them had already lost loved ones to the war. Judging by the fires burning in their eyes, they were ready to help in the battle efforts – on which side, James wasn't sure. He didn't want to know. He merely wanted to prepare them for what they would encounter in the future.

"You should all know before we begin that this is not going to be an easy class," James stated. "You will do your homework and required readings. You will come to class prepared, and you will participate. You will achieve top marks on all your assignments. If you fall behind, you will work incredibly hard to catch up. I will not go slowly to coddle you. We have a lot of material to cover, and we need to finish it before your NEWTs in the spring. If you feel that you can't keep up, there is the door. Go ahead and leave now."

No one moved. The twenty teenagers stared at him with wide eyes. Professor Prewett had never threatened them with difficult work like this.

"Today, we're going to assess your abilities," James continued. "I want to see where you are in this realm of defense. So, one by one, you are going to come to the center of the room. I am going to try to hex you – and you are going to defend yourselves."

A collective gasp ran through the room. A girl in the center of the room looked terrified.

"Isn't that illegal?" she gasped.

"No," James smiled. "I'm not planning to use Unforgivable Curses on you. I'm actually not going to use anything that could do any lasting damage. Besides, you've been studying advanced Defense for a year already. You should be able to defend yourselves, right?"

"Of course we can," a Slytherin sneered. "He's just trying to scare you, Patti."

"And you, Mr. Malfoy, can be my first victim," James smiled, trying to keep his tone light. He wanted desperately to make this one squirm, if only for the reason that he was the younger brother of Narcissa's husband. If only Sirius could see this . . . James quickly stopped that thought. If Sirius were in the class, he wouldn't go nearly as easy on this cocky young man as James was about to.

Elton Malfoy nearly swaggered as he stepped into the middle of the room. James shook his head.

"You seem rather confident, Mr. Malfoy," he said.

"I'm not worried," Malfoy replied easily.

"That's good," James said. "It's a good idea not to be too worried, but I think a healthy amount of fear can be a good thing."

Elton laughed. "I'm not afraid of you, Professor Potter. If you hurt us, you'll be fired."

James smiled. "Have you spoken with Professor Dumbledore about this, then?"

"I don't need to," Elton replied. "I mean, we all know how it works. If a teacher –"

He was suddenly silenced as James hit him with a jelly-legs jinx. The other students gasped, then began to laugh. James removed the jinx, and gave Elton a hard look.

"Don't be over-confident," he said.

"You didn't warn me!" Elton exclaimed. "I didn't know – I wasn't ready!"

"Do you think for a minute that the person you're dueling in battle is going to wait for you to be _ready_?" James asked incredulously. "We're preparing for war, ladies and gentlemen, not a classroom drill. I am not going to let you know when I'm going to hex you, I'm just going to do it. You need to be ready, and you need to deflect anything that I throw at you. Now, Mr. Malfoy, let's try this again."

* * *

An hour later, the bell rang. James smiled at his class.

"Well done, ladies and gentlemen," he said. "We'll work more on deflecting unfriendly spells next time. For homework, please read the chapter in your book on basic deflection spells."

"Do we need to give you a summary?" one of the Ravenclaw girls asked.

James looked at her in surprise. "No," he said. "We'll work with it in class. I trust that you will read it. If you don't, you'll be lost next time."

The Ravenclaws immediately wrote the homework in their planners. James grinned.

"I'll see you on Thursday, everyone."

He walked back to his office, still smiling. That had gone rather well – and he had been able to nearly humiliate a Malfoy. He was going to like teaching the NEWT students.

* * *

Sirius Apparated into Olivia's flat with a crack. He looked around the empty living room with a slight frown.

"Liv?" he called.

"In here!"

He followed the sound of her voice to her bedroom, where she was curling her hair in front of the mirror. He smiled, and leaned in to kiss her cheek.

"Hey, love."

She gave him a slightly strained smile. "Hey."

Sirius wanted to sigh. Apparently, things had not managed to work themselves out. He decided to try again for a civil conversation. "So, after we find Remus and Laura's present, do you want to go out for dinner?"

Olivia looked at him in the mirror for a moment, then put down the wand she had been using to curl her hair. "Sirius, what are we doing?"

Sirius frowned. "We're going to find a wedding present for Emus and Laura. After that, we're potentially going out for dinner. That part is only if you want to."

"No, I don't mean right now." She turned to face him. "I mean, what about _us_? Our relationship? Where is it going?"

Sirius looked at her blankly. "We're together, Liv. We're a couple. We love one another. What more do we need?"

"_What more do we_ _need_?" Olivia exploded. "Is this what you're content with, Sirius? Just being my boyfriend?"

In spite of his confusion, Sirius was trilled that she was yelling at him. They were finally going to be able to get everything out in the open. Besides, there was something about the fire that snapped in her eyes and the color that rushed to her cheeks that he absolutely loved.

"I love being your boyfriend, Liv," he said slowly. "And I love that you're my girlfriend."

"Sirius. We've been dating since seventh year. Don't you think it's time that we moved on? Don't you think it's time that we at least _talked_ about marriage?"

Sirius choked. "Marriage?" he squeaked. "You want to get _married_?"

"Don't you?"

"Yeah – someday. But we're way too young!"

"Oh, are we really? Is that why all our friends are getting married? Because we're _too young_?"

"We aren't our friends, Liv," Sirius said, trying to keep his temper in check.

"No," Olivia conceded, "no, we're not our friends. But I think that we love each other as much as Lily and James love one another, or as much as Laura and Remus love one another. I thought . . ."

"You thought what?"

"That we were headed for marriage," she said simply, shrugging her shoulders. "If I didn't think you were the man I would marry, why would I waste my time with you now?"

"Is that what this is to you?" Sirius yelled, completely losing control of his temper. "Is this whole relationship just a _waste of time_ to you?"

"Sirius, that's not what I meant!"

"Well, that's what it sounded like!"

Olivia's eyes began to snap fire again. "Well, you would be the expert at wasting time in relationships, wouldn't you? You ran through more girlfriends in a month at Hogwarts than most people do in a lifetime!"

"You criticize me for my dating habits after you dated my best friend, knowing full well that he was in love with _your_ best friend?"

Olivia flinched. "James and I have been over for years, Sirius. And I never loved him – not the way that I love you."

"I love you, too, Liv," Sirius said. "It's just . . . I'm not ready to be married. Can't you understand that?"

"No," Olivia said coldly. "No, Sirius, I can't. I love you, and I want to marry you. I don't understand how you can say you love me, yet not want to marry me."

"I never said that I don't want to marry you," Sirius said, an icy edge creeping into his voice. "I just said that I don't want to now. I don't see why you can't respect my wishes."

"And I don't see why you can't respect mine!"

Sirius slammed his open palm down on her dresser. "Damn it, Olivia!"

"Don't talk to me that way!" Olivia spat.

"Fine," Sirius said coldly. "I think we're through talking for now anyway. Good night."

"Sirius!" Olivia yelled.

But it was too late. He was gone.

* * *

James stared at the stack of essays on his desk. They were three feet of parchment each, except for the one that had been handed in by the over-achieving student who had written more. He sighed as he picked up the first one. He really needed to start assigning shorter essays.

A rapid knock sounded on his door. He looked at it blankly for a moment, trying to remember if he had an appointment with a student.

"Come in," he called.

The door opened, revealing Sirius. James looked at him in confusion.

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh, that's a nice way to greet your best mate."

James grinned. "Sorry. Let me try again." He cleared his throat. "Sirius, mate, how good of you to drop by!"

"You're a prat, Potter," Sirius grinned. He sat down across the desk from James. "My God, James, how long are those essays?"

"Three feet," James replied with a grimace. "I have no one to blame but myself."

"That's the truth."

James looked at his friend intently for a moment. "Why are you here, Sirius?" he asked. "I mean, it's great to see you, but this is really unusual. Even when I worked in the Ministry, you rarely came to see me."

Sirius sighed, and ran his hands over his face. "I came straight from Olivia's flat."

James glanced at his watch. "Yeah, shouldn't you be shopping for a wedding present right now?"

"We never made it," Sirius replied. "We had quite the argument."

"What was it about?"

"She wants to get married, James."

James's eyes widened. "She said that?"

"Oh, yeah."

"And what did you say?"

"That we're too young. But you and Remus ruined that one for me. Couldn't you have waited a bit longer before marrying Lily?"

James grinned. "Not a chance. Not even for you, Padfoot."

"Well, she threw you and Lily up to me, believe me. So, I said that we aren't you and Lily, or Remus and Laura. I said that I wasn't ready for marriage."

"How did she take that?"

"The opposite of well," Sirius said dryly.

"Where did you leave things?"

"A mess," Sirius admitted. "Nothing is resolved, and neither of us is about to give in." He shook his head. "I love this girl, James. I don't want to lose her."

"Not to take her side, but if you love her and want to be with her, why not marry her?"

"For the same reason I told her – I'm not ready. It's true. I'm not read to be a husband. It would be awful – our marriage would fall apart before it even started. We're far better off dating."

"But she doesn't agree with you?"

Sirius shook his head. "What should I do, James?"

"Make up fast," James advised. "Remus's wedding is in a week, and you don't want to come to that fighting."

A ghost of a grin flitted across Sirius's face. "At this point, I'll be lucky to show up with a present."

* * *

"Does she need help?"

Lily shook her head as she stepped out of the church's bridal room, closing the door behind her. "She has her mother and her sisters helping."

Olivia smoothed the deep blue satin of her skirt over her hip. "Why did she need us here so early again?"

"We're bridesmaids," Lily laughed. "It's our job to be here early."

"Where's Dana?"

"She went to give her purse to Aidan."

Olivia nodded. "Should we go back inside?"

"Let's give them a few minutes to make sure she's dressed,' Lily grinned. "They're going to need maneuvering room to get that gown on her!"

Olivia grinned. "I think it's even bigger than yours was!"

"Hey! I thought you loved my wedding gown!"

"Oh, I did. I'm just saying that it was a lot of dress."

Lily shook her head. "Are you saying you won't have much dress when you get married?"

Olivia bit her lower lip. "You say that like I'm getting married."

"Oh, Liv . . ."

Olivia shook her head. "Sirius doesn't want to marry me, Lils."

"That's not quite right," Lily contradicted. "He said he's just not ready to get married now."

"I don't see the difference."

"It's a huge difference! He does want to marry you, Liv, just not yet."

"Well, he could at least ask me to marry him! Then we'd be a bit closer. It could be a long engagement."

"Engagements can be broken, you know," Lily said softly. "Just because you're engaged doesn't mean you're going to get married. And, for as long as you two have been together and as much as you love one another, I'd say you're pretty close right now."

Olivia looked at her with sorrow written plainly on her face. "I don't know, Lils. Everything's so confused right now."

Lily opened her mouth to ask Olivia what she meant, but was cut off as a pair of arms encircled her from behind. She smiled at Olivia, and leaned against her captor's chest.

"Hi, James."

"How did you know it was me?" James asked, turning her around to face him.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Who else does things like that to me?" She smiled. "You look fantastic in that tux."

"You look quite gorgeous yourself, love."

Olivia grinned mischievously. "I'm wearing the same dress as she is, James. Do I look gorgeous, too?"

James laughed. "Of course you do."

Lily looked up at James with a smile. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but shouldn't you be keeping Remus calm right now?"

"Sirius is on it," James said easily. "To be honest, I'm supposed to be looking for the ring bearer. Have you seen him? Short little guy in a tux? About five years old?"

Lily laughed. "You lost the _ring bearer_?

"_Technically_, Peter was supposed to be watching him," James grinned. "But once the little guy ran off, I volunteered to help find him."

Olivia shook her head. "Well, I know two guys I'll never ask to babysit my children."

Lily laughed again. "Hey, one of those guys is going to be the _father_ of my children!"

"I guess you're never going to be away from your children, then," Olivia laughed.

"Shhh," James whispered.

"Are you insulted?" Olivia asked, raising her eyebrows in surprise.

"No, I think I see him! I'll see you girls later, all right?"

Lily and Olivia watched him hurry off after the rogue ring bearer, then turned to each other. As soon as their eyes met, they both burst into laughter.

"Come on," Olivia said, taking Lily's hand. "Let's go see how Laura's doing with that dress."

* * *

"Are you ready for this?"

Remus nodded, and straightened his tie.

James grinned as he looked at his friend's reflection in the mirror. "You look a little nervous, mate."

Remus nodded again. "I am nervous. This is the rest of my life."

James raised his eyebrows in an unasked question.

"Yes," Remus said. "Yes, I want to marry her. I love her." He turned to look James in the eye. "Laura is my life."

"Then there's no reason to be nervous."

"Yes, because _you_ were the picture of calm before _your_ wedding," Sirius laughed. "And I seem to remember us having a similar conversation then."

"Well, now I speak from experience," James grinned. "And now, as the old married man of the group, I must offer some advice."

"Oh, boy," Sirius grinned. "This should be good."

"Now, I'm trying to be serious here," James laughed. He calmed down, and turned to face the nervous groom. "They say that this is the greatest day of your life, Remus, but I disagree."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "What is, then?"

"Tomorrow," James replied. "The morning after the wedding, when you wake up and realize that she's your wife forever. _That's_ the greatest day."

"Would that be the morning after you've shagged her all night, and realized that you can shag her all night, every night for the rest of your lives?" Sirius grinned.

"Padfoot, you really know how to ruin a moment," James laughed. "That's a benefit, too, Moony, but not the one I was talking about."

"I know what you were trying to say," Remus smiled. "And thank you."

The door opened, and Peter appeared.

"It's time, guys. Let's go."

Remus took a deep breath, and straightened his shoulders.

"I guess I have to live through today to get to tomorrow."

* * *

Laura looked around the bridal room as she absently fingered the ends of her veil. It had been her mother's, and her older sisters had worn it before her. After today, it would be carefully packed away, waiting to be worn again when her younger sister was married.

Hannah was with her, along with her other sisters and her friends. They would all stand up as her witnesses when she married Remus. She looked at her older sisters, and at Lily. Had then been as nervous on their wedding days as she was now?

A knock sounded on the door, and it opened slowly. Laura's oldest brother, George, peeked around the corner.

"Is everyone decent?"

"Yes, you can come in," Cassie, one of Laura's sisters, replied.

George stepped into the room. "I came for Mum. I need to seat her now."

An unexpected panic filled Laura. She didn't want her mother to leave her yet. Mrs. Bond nodded at her son.

"Can you wait a moment? I need a minute with my daughter." She crossed the room to stand in front of Laura, and took her daughter's face in her hands. "Oh, Laura. My little girl. You are a beautiful bride, and you are going to make a wonderful wife. And, Remus is going to be a wonderful husband."

Laura smiled. "I love him, Mummy."

"I know you do," Mrs. Bond smiled. "And we all love him, too. We're so glad that you brought him into our family. You father and I are proud to call him our son-in-law."

"Thank you," Laura whispered, fighting back tears.

"We're proud of you, Laura," Mrs. Bond continued. "We're proud of the powers you have, and the way you've chosen to use them. We're proud of the woman you've become."

"I love you, Mummy," Laura managed to utter. She swallowed hard, and wiped at the tears that were now falling.

"We love you, baby," Mrs. Bond replied, blinking back tears of her own. She took out a tissue, and wiped Laura's tears away. "Go fix your makeup while George seats me."

"Okay," Laura laughed.

Mrs. Bond touched her cheek again, and kissed her forehead. Then she left, following her son out of the room.

Laura glanced at her reflection in the mirror and gasped. "Help! I'm a mess!"

Lily, Dana, Olivia and Hannah glanced at one another. Hannah nodded.

"Girls, let's let Dana help her. She's the best at quick beauty fixes," she said, leading her sisters to the door.

Cassie rolled her eyes. "If you want to do . . . whatever it is that you do without us, just say so."

Hannah laughed. "Well, there are these laws, and –"

"We know," Cassie laughed. "We'll go outside. You girls make Laura presentable again."

As soon as the door was shut behind them, the girls pulled out their wands. Laura eyed them a bit dubiously.

"Just close your eyes," Dana advised. "It'll all be over in a minute."

* * *

Remus closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He felt a gentle pressure on his shoulder, and turned to his father with a smile. This was why he had chosen his father to be his best man. He had been one of the most supportive people in Remus's life since his birth. As much as he loved and trusted his friends, his father was the one man he had complete, absolute trust in.

Strains of music began, and the bridesmaids began to make their way down the aisle. Hannah grinned at Remus, who winked back. He could hardly wait to call her his little sister.

Then Laura appeared in the back of the church, on her father's arm, and all thoughts of Hannah flew out of Remus's mind. The only thing his eyes could see or his mind could focus on was Laura.

She looked like an angel in her white gown, with her lacy veil obscuring her face. As she drew closer, he could see her broad smile, and smiled even wider in return. All doubts, all nerves were gone. This was right.

The music stopped as she reached Remus. Her father kissed her cheek, and shook Remus's hand, then joined their hands together. Remus looked down into Laura's misty eyes, and felt tears pressing the backs of his own. This was it. This was their moment.

Their eyes remained locked throughout the entire ceremony. Laura couldn't have taken her eyes away from Remus's even if she had wanted to. It was as if he held her with some invisible force. It was the same force that kept them together everyday: Love.

They both cried as they repeated their vows. No one who heard the emotion in their voices as they swore their undying love could leave the ceremony unaffected. James lifted his eyes from the bride and groom to look at Lily. She looked at him and smiled, blinking back tears. He smiled back, realizing anew exactly how much he loved her.

* * *

Like Lily and James, Remus and Laura had elected to have a Muggle wedding. Laura had chosen the reception hall and DJ because her siblings had used them for their weddings, and highly recommended them. Remus had accepted her decisions, conceding his limited knowledge of the Muggle world.

Before dinner began at the reception, the DJ handed Mr. Lupin the microphone. Sirius leaned closer to James and Peter.

"Do you think he knows how to use that thing?"

Peter laughed, and James rolled his eyes.

"Probably, since his mother was a Muggle," James stated.

Peter laughed again. Sirius grinned as he watched Mr. Lupin easily turn on the mike.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I only need a moment of your time," he promised. "I just want to say how proud I am of my son. Remus has overcome many obstacles in his life, and he's had to make many difficult decisions. As parents, we only want the best for our children. We want them to suffer as little as possible.

"I know my son has suffered. But even if I had the power to do so, I don't think I would change anything about his life. The suffering he has endured has made him stronger. It has made him the person he is today. It's made him the man that Laura fell in love with.

"Laura, I want to thank you." Mr. Lupin raised his glass in her direction. "Thank you for loving Remus, and for making him so happy. Thank you for coming into our family, and for sharing your love, your strength, and your vitality with us. Our lives are richer for having you in them.

"Remus and Laura, I wish you all the happiness in the world. I wish you strength for the harder times, and laughter when laughter seems impossible. Rely on one another for your happiness, your strength and you laughter. Your love has brought you this far. Let it take you through the rest of your lives."

Tears stood in Remus's eyes as he stood to hug his father. He barely heard his guests applauding as he father held him tightly.

"I love you, Dad."

"I love _you_, Remus," Mr. Lupin replied. "And I meant what I said. I am so, so very proud of you."

* * *

"Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in welcoming our bridal party to the dance floor!"

Sirius smiled, and went in search of Olivia, his partner for the wedding. He found her just as the DJ announced their names; they walked out onto the dance floor together. Sirius cringed at the cold smile Olivia gave him.

"Would it kill you to at least _look_ happy?" he asked. "This is for Remus and Laura, you know."

"They're the only reason I'm dancing with you," Olivia replied in a syrupy-sweet voice.

"Liv, we seriously need to talk about this."

"About what?" she asked, her eyes wide with feigned innocence.

"This!" Sirius exclaimed. "This rift that's developed between us! We need to talk it out."

"I don't see what more there is to talk about."

Sirius looked deeply into her eyes. "So this is it, then? We're going to end our whole relationship?"

The song ended, and Olivia dropped her arms from their position around Sirius's neck. She turned to walk away, but Sirius caught her arm.

"Don't you walk away from me, Olivia. You're not going anywhere until we've talked this out."

"Do we have to do this now?"

"_Yes_," Sirius said through clenched teeth. "Come with me."

He led her out of the ballroom, out of the building, into the cool evening. He stopped outside the door, and dropped her hand.

"All right," he said. "Let's talk."

Olivia sighed. "Sirius, I don't know what you want me to say. It's like I said before – I think we need to move forward with our relationship. Obviously, you don't agree."

"I want our relationship to continue," he said. "I love you, Olivia. I don't want to lose you."

"You don't want to marry me, either."

"Not right now," he conceded.

Tears gathered in her eyes. "If we don't want the same thing from this relationship, it's not going to work, Sirius."

"Are you saying . . .?"

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her tears spilling over. "If we're not in the same place, this has to be over." She stood on tiptoe to kiss his lips. "Good bye, Sirius." She turned to go back inside.

"Olivia, wait," Sirius said, his voice cracking. Was she really leaving him?

She stopped, and turned to face him again. "Yes?"

He drew a shaky breath. "I love you."

"I know," she said, giving him the saddest smile he had ever seen. "I love you, too."

She turned again, and walked back into the building. She tried her best to remain calm as she made her way to the ladies' room. Once inside, the tears began in earnest. She clutched the sink to stay on her feet, letting the sobs shake her body.

* * *

Sirius hadn't moved from his spot outside. He stared up at the starry sky, feeling the tears press against the backs of his eyes. He blinked rapidly. He couldn't cry. Not here. Not now.

The door opened again, and James and Peter came out, both gasping with laughter. They stopped short when they saw Sirius.

"Padfoot, you missed it!" Peter exclaimed. "Laura's family has this tradition . . ." His voice died in his throat at the sight of Sirius's anguished face. "What happened?"

Sirius just looked at them for a moment, then drew a shaky breath. "Olivia has decided that we're not in the same place anymore." He cleared his throat, and blinked several times. "We broke up."

"Oh, man, Sirius, I'm sorry," Peter said.

"Are you all right, mate?" James asked.

Sirius shook his head, and sank down to sit on the sidewalk. He rested his elbows on his knees, and buried his face in his hands.

James and Peter looked at one another, then sat down on either side of him. The three friends sat in silence as the minutes ticked past. Between friends, words aren't always necessary.


	25. Thrice Defied

A/N: Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates it! To everyone who doesn't, I hope you had a fantastic weekend!

As for Sirius and Olivia's break up – my cousin actually broke up with her boyfriend for the same reason Olivia broke up with Sirius: she wanted to get married, but he didn't. So, as stupid and unreasonable as it seems, it does happen. Sorry about the break up, but it had to happen. It'll all make sense in a few chapters.

I hope you all enjoy this chapter! Thanks for reading and reviewing! You're all the best!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Thrice Defied

_Why weren't we able _

_to see the signs that we missed?_

_And try and turn the tables?_

Nickelback, _Someday_

"ALEXANDER! Watch what you're doing!"

Olivia jumped at Moody's voice, and gripped her wand more tightly. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize to me," Moody growled. "If this had happened in the field, you'd have to apologize to the coworker you killed!"

"Moody, it's just a practice drill," Frank said in an attempt to smooth the situation over.

"What happens in practice will happen in the real thing," Moody said. "And that dummy just lost its head! You're supposed to go for the captor, Alexander, not the one who has been captured!"

"I know that," Olivia said, trying to keep her tone even.

"I know you do," Moody said. "If you didn't, you would have been out of Auror training a long time ago. Now you are within months of becoming a full-fledged Auror. This is not the time to get sloppy. You need to keep your head on straight."

"Yes, sir," Olivia said.

Moody gave her a hard look, and stalked away to bark at another Auror trainee. Olivia sighed, and pushed her hair out of her eyes. She wasn't thinking straight, and she knew the reason why. It was the same reason she hadn't been able to concentrate on anything since Remus and Laura's wedding.

She glanced across the room as Sirius accepted advice from Longbottom about how to refine his skills. She sighed again. She missed him – terribly. But she couldn't take him back. It just wouldn't work.

She needed desperately to talk to someone about the whole situation. But talking to Lily, Dana or Laura seemed silly – of course they would all want her to get back together with Sirius. She needed someone who would be on her side. But who could she talk to?

She smiled as the idea came to her, and glanced at her watch. Only an hour to go, and then she had a visit to make.

* * *

"Olivia!"

Olivia smiled sadly. "Hi, Mum."

"What are you doing here?" Mrs. Alexander hugged her daughter close. "It's wonderful to see you!" She pulled back, holding Olivia at arm's length. "You look pale, darling. Are you feeling all right?"

To her surprise, Olivia burst into tears.

"Olivia!" Mrs. Alexander exclaimed. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"Everything," Olivia sobbed as her mother pulled her close again. "Everything's wrong, Mummy."

Mrs. Alexander finally calmed her enough that she could talk sensibly, and led her to the table. She waved her wand, and mugs of tea appeared before each of them.

"Now," she said, "tell me what's happened."

"It's Sirius," Olivia managed to sigh before the tears began to fall again.

Mrs. Alexander's eyes narrowed. "What has he done to you?"

"Nothing," Olivia replied, brushing her tears away. "We broke up."

"Really?" Mrs. Alexander said, her eyebrows shooting up. "When?"

"At Remus and Laura's wedding," Olivia said. "We had been having problems for awhile, and everything sort of came crashing down that night."

"Olivia, I'm sorry that you're so upset," Mrs. Alexander said, reaching across to put her hand over Olivia's. "You know that I would do anything to take away your pain. But, darling, I think this is for the best. Sirius Black was trouble from the very beginning, and he's just not good enough for you."

"He's a good person, Mum," Olivia said tiredly. "He's just . . . In the end, we just couldn't make it work."

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"He didn't want to get married," she said simply.

"And you do?"

"Oh, yes," Olivia sighed. "I love him, Mum. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. But he said he's not ready – and I'm not ready to wait." Tears threatened to fall again. "I love him, but I can't be with him right now."

"Oh, Olivia," Mrs. Alexander sighed. "There are so many men who would love to marry you. There's no sense in saying that you love the one who won't."

"But I do love him, Mum."

"You left him, Olivia. Even if he did love you before – and I can't say that I trust that he did – there's no way he will anymore."

"He did love me," Olivia said quickly, hot tears tracing patterns down her cheeks. "I know he loved me – and he may still! If he hadn't loved me, there's no way he would have . . ." She trailed off, and glared at her mother. "I came here for support, not to have to defend Sirius again. I know how you and Dad felt about him, but I thought maybe you could back off attacking him now that I've left him." She stood to her feet. "I'm sorry that I was wrong about that."

"Olivia, wait, sit down."

"No," Olivia said. "I've had enough."

She Disapparated, leaving her mother alone in the kitchen.

* * *

James shuffled stacks of parchment across his desk. Maybe if he started cleaning it, he could postpone the inevitable task of grading the fifth years' essays.

His fireplace sprang to life, and he looked up in surprise. This was an odd time for Lily to come to visit, and he knew she was the only one who knew his password.

To his surprise, Lily didn't appear in his grate. A thud sounded as someone reached his password barrier. He raised his eyebrows. Maybe Dumbledore was right – they did need all the extra security measures. He stood to his feet and picked up his wand, debating whether or not he should call for help.

"Blood hell!" came from the fireplace. "James! Are you in there? What's your bloody password?"

"Sirius?" James asked incredulously.

"Yes! Now give me the bloody password so I can get in!"

"How do I know you're really Sirius?" James asked, his eyes narrowing.

"Has Moody affected your brain? Of course I'm Sirius!"

"Answer this question for me – Who figured out Remus's condition?"

"Peter and I did, you prat. Now let me in!"

James put his wand back on his desk. "The password is February."

Sirius repeated the password, and appeared in the fireplace. He glared at James as he dusted off his robes.

"What kind of security is that? Anyone could figure that password out. Everyone knows you and Lily got married in February."

"You didn't figure it out. Besides, we change the passwords once a week," James replied. He sat down behind his desk again. "So, what brings you to Hogwarts today?"

"Olivia," Sirius said, sitting down across from James.

"Did you talk to her?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Sirius replied. "She won't even look at me in class. It's like I don't exist to her."

"Have you tried -?"

"Of course not," Sirius cut in. "I'm not about to go begging her to take me back. She's being ridiculous about this whole thing. If she would just realize that we're not ready to get married, we could get back together. But as long as she only wants to get married, we're stuck the way we are."

"So you're not willing to talk to her?"

"I am – if she's willing to talk to me."

James ran his hand through his hair. "I don't know what to tell you, Padfoot. Lily and I didn't have problems like this – and I don't think my other Hogwarts romances count as real 'couple' experience."

"Maybe that's my problem, too," Sirius sighed. "I want to be with her, Prongs, but I don't have a clue how to fix this."

"I say wait, then," James said. "There's no sense in try to talk to her if you don't know what to say."

"Yeah, I'll probably just end up making it worse," Sirius grinned. "I just never thought it would end this way, you know? I always sort of thought she was the girl for me."

"So did I," James admitted. "I guess it's like Lily always says about stuff like this – if it was meant to be, it'll happen."

"And if not?" Sirius asked.

"You have to learn to live without her."

* * *

"Is Lily Potter in?"

"She's in her office," the receptionist replied, jerking her head back to indicate Lily's closed office door. "Is she expecting you?"

Olivia smiled, and shook her head. "It's a surprise."

The receptionist looked at her dubiously. "Mrs. Potter doesn't receive unexpected visitors. Would you like to make an appointment to meet with her?"

"I just wanted to have lunch with her," Olivia said, feeling a bit annoyed.

"You wanted a lunch meeting, then?" the receptionist asked, pulling out a date book.

"No!" Olivia exclaimed. "I'm a _friend_ of Lily's! I just wanted to see if she had time for lunch today!"

Lily's office door opened, and she walked out. A smile lit her face when she saw Olivia.

"Liv! What brings you over here?"

"You know her, Mrs. Potter?" the receptionist asked.

"Yes, Olivia is one of my best friends," Lily affirmed. "From now on, please give her the same access as James, Sirius, Remus and Laura." She glanced at her watch. "Did you want to go get lunch?"

"I'd love to," Olivia replied.

"Just let me get my purse," Lily said. She walked back into her office for the bag, and then knocked on Minnie's door. She pushed it open without waiting for a reply, and stuck her head in the room.

"Hey," Minnie greeted her.

"I'm going to grab lunch," Lily said. "Olivia's here, so we're going out somewhere in the area. Do you want to come?"

"No, I'm going to stay here to work on something," Minnie replied distractedly.

"Can I bring you something, then?"

"No, I'm fine . . ." She looked up from her desk with an odd expression on her face. "Just hurry back, all right? I really need to discuss something with you."

"Do you want to talk now?"

"No, it can wait . . . just hurry."

Lily nodded. "I'll see you within an hour. Tell Dorcas where I am if she asks."

"Sure."

Lily looked at her friend again, then backed out of her office, closing the door behind her. She was still wearing a puzzled expression when she made it back to Olivia.

"Everything all right?" Olivia asked.

"Aside from that being the oddest conversation Minnie and I have ever had, yes," Lily replied.

Olivia grinned. "And knowing the two of you, that's saying something."

Lily laughed. "I guess I'll have to allow that one." She turned to the receptionist. "I'll be out for about an hour. Minnie already knows."

The woman nodded. "See you in an hour, then."

Olivia followed Lily through the maze of hallways leading away from her office. When she thought they were far enough away, she giggled.

"What's with the security dog?"

"Oh, Peg's harmless," Lily smiled. "She gives all our visitors a hard time. Because of our work, we have to be careful about who comes into the office – especially now, when Minnie and I are working on all the Death Eater stuff. Peg has a list of people for each of us who are allowed in without question."

"And yours is just the guys and Laura?"

"Well, they're the only ones who ever visit me at work. James was on the list from day one, of course. Laura went on quickly, too, since I see her here all the time. She's always in giving statements from her office. Remus and Sirius had to go through the same thing you did."

Despite her best attempts not to show emotion, Olivia's face changed when she heard Sirius's name. Lily noticed in an instant.

"Olivia, why can't you just go talk to him?"

"I can't, Lils."

"What do you mean? Of course you can!"

"What good will it do? What will it change?"

They made their way back to street level. Lily led Olivia across the street to her favorite café. The girls were seated quickly, and placed their orders.

"Now," Lily said, folding her hands in front of her on the table, "you are going to tell me exactly what's going on with you and Sirius. And don't even try to tell me that's not the reason you came to have lunch with me today. We both know that you need to talk, and we both know that I'm going to listen."

Olivia smiled. "How do you know me so well?"

"Being friends for nearly a decade will do that for you," Lily smiled. "Please, Liv, tell me what's going on. Let me help you, if I can."

"All right," Olivia said slowly. "But before I start, I need you to promise me something."

"Anything."

"Please try to be as impartial as possible."

"Liv, you know –"

"I know that you're one of my best friends, yes," Olivia interrupted. "I know that you are always there for me, and that you always support me. But I also know that Sirius is another of your best friends. I know that he and James are closer than brothers. I know that it's going to be very hard for you, because you want us back together. You want us to be happy like you and James." She sighed. "But we aren't you and James."

"I know that, sweetie. I don't expect you and Sirius to be the same as James and I. You are very different people from us."

"Exactly," Olivia replied. She drew a deep breath. "Well, you know that we're broken up. And you know that that was my decision."

Lily shook her head. "I still can't believe that you did that."

"Why not?"

"Because before the wedding, you were talking about wanting to marry him, and after the wedding, it was over between you. I just don't understand how you can go from wanting to marry someone to not even wanting to date him."

"I still want to marry him, Lils," Olivia said softly.

Lily's eyes widened. "What?"

"I love him," Olivia said, smiling sadly. "Sounds stupid, doesn't it? I love him and I want to marry him, yet I broke up with him."

"Liv, why? Why on earth would you put yourself and Sirius through all this if you still love him?"

"Because he doesn't want to marry me," she said simply.

"Ever?"

"No," she said slowly, "no, he said just not yet."

Lily looked at her for a moment. "Wait. Let me make sure I've got all this. You love Sirius. You want to marry Sirius. Sirius wants to marry you – just not yet. But, sometime in the future, he's all for marrying you. Yet you still broke up with him?"

"Yeah, that's pretty much it."

"Well, you're going to have to forgive me for being a bit confused."

Olivia gave her an accusatory look. "You're taking his side."

"No, I'm taking your relationship's side," Lily argued. "Liv, can you honestly tell me that you can see yourself marrying someone else?"

To Lily's surprise, Olivia's eyes filled with tears. "I love Sirius, Lily. No, of course I can't see myself marrying anyone else. And I know that he loves me – at least, I think he does. But we just can't be together right now."

"Liv, you're both miserable! Why don't you just try to talk this out? I'm sure you can make it right!"

Olivia shook her head, letting a single tear fall. "Right now, we can't. Maybe someday . . . I just can't do it now, Lils. I'm not going to change my mind about this, and I don't think he's going to change his."

"But if he's the one you want to marry, can't you just date him until he's ready?"

"The ball is in his court now. He knows what I want. He has to come to me to fix this."

Lily shook her head. "You and Sirius are the two most stubborn people I know. No wonder you fell in love."

Olivia smiled sadly. "No wonder indeed."

* * *

Exactly one hour later, Lily rushed into Minnie's office. She dropped down into a chair, and brushed her long, red hair back from her face.

"Sorry that took so long," she said a bit breathlessly. "Liv is in a bit of a crisis."

"That's fine," Minnie replied. She waved her wand to close the door. "Lil, we need to talk."

"About what?"

"Rodolphus Lestrange."

Lily frowned. "What about him?"

Minnie drew a deep breath. "I've been looking over our research, and I don't think we have enough to prove that he's a Death Eater."

"What?" Lily cried. "But after all the research, all the interviews – we did it all for nothing?"

"I wouldn't say that."

"What?"

"I think we still can prove it."

"How? You just said . . ." Lily frowned.

"I know. But I've thought of a way to prove it. I want us to track him. I want him to lead us to a Death Eater meeting."

Lily gasped. "You want us to go to a Death Eater meeting?"

"We'll go undercover," Minnie affirmed. "What better way is there to collect information?"

"Yeah, it's going to be informative, but it's incredibly dangerous!" Lily said. "Min, do you have any idea what we'd be getting ourselves into? If we're discovered, we won't just be up against some Death Eaters, we'll be fighting Voldemort."

"I know," Minnie said. "But, Lil, this is the best way for us to do our job!"

Lily shook her head. "I don't know. Is this job work risking our lives?"

"The job?" Minnie repeated. "No, it's not. But defeating them is, isn't it? Isn't that what you do every day with the Order of the Phoenix?"

Lily looked at her for a long minute. "You're right. It is what I do. But, Minnie, I never wanted to drag you into that. It was my decision to join, and it's my life that I risk. I can't risk yours, too."

Minnie shrugged. "It's too late now," she said simply. "You're not dragging me or forcing me, Lils, this is something I want to do." She shrugged. "So, what do you say? Shall we do it?"

Lily realized exactly how serious her friend was. Minnie understood the risks, and was willing to take them. Lily slowly nodded. "Let's do it."

Minnie's face lit up. "Really? You want to do it?"

"I do," Lily said with determination. "If we can make this work, we'll be able to save so many lives. Because if we go in there, Minnie, we're taking out far more than just Rodolphus Lestrange."

A hint of fear crept into Minnie's eyes. "What do you want us to do, Lily?"

"I want to destroy them," Lily said simply. "I want to destroy them before they can do to anyone else's family what they did to mine."

"Lil, I don't think . . ."

"Not then," Lily said quickly. "I don't want the two of us to wage war on them while we're there. But I want to be able to take enough information back to the Order that we'll be able to end this once and for all." She sat up straighter in her chair. "Where shall we begin?"

"We need to put a tracking charm on Lestrange," Minnie said. "You've always been better at Charms than me; will you do it?"

"Of course," Lily replied. She frowned slightly, and looked off into space, searching her memory for the appropriate charm. "We're going to need something pretty powerful, though. Who knows where he'll go?" She tapped her fingertip against her lips. "We need . . . we need . . ." Her face suddenly lit up as she remembered lines spreading like spider webs across a piece of parchment. "I'll be right back!" She sprang out of her seat.

"Where are you going?" Minnie cried.

"To get help from the master!" Lily flung over her shoulder as she ran back to her own office.

She threw open the bottom drawer of her desk, and picked up a small bag. She grabbed a handful of power from the bag, and threw it into her fireplace.

"James Potter's office, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!"

* * *

"We'll get our essays back tomorrow, right?"

James smiled patiently. "Yes, Nicole, I'll have them ready tomorrow."

"I'm sorry to bother you, Professor, but this our OWL year, and I want to make sure that my essay is at least at that level. You do grade them at OWL level, don't you?"

"I have since the first day of class," James replied. "And when have I not given you an essay back the next day?"

"You always do," Nicole smiled. "But I worry . . . I really would feel better if I knew my grade."

"Your work is always excellent," James said. "I'm sure this essay won't be any different." He glanced at his watch. "You'd better hurry, or you'll be late for your next lesson."

"Can I come back later today to see if you have my essay done?"

James laughed. "Sure. I'll mark yours first."

She grinned. "Thanks, Professor Potter!"

"You're welcome," James replied, opening the door to his office.

Nicole rushed off to her next class, clutching her stack of books. James turned, and stepped into his office.

He stopped short, and a slow smile spread across his face as he saw the person sitting behind his desk. He stepped closer, putting his books down on a shelf as he crossed the room.

"Well, well," he smiled. "What brings you over this way?"

Lily smiled. "Would you believe that I just wanted to see you?"

"I'd like to," James said, leaning down to kiss her. "However, common sense intervenes. You would never leave work in the middle of the day without a good reason. So, what might that reason be?"

"Well," Lily smiled, "I needed a criminal mastermind, and you were the first person I thought of."

"Hey, now," James laughed, "whatever you may have heard, I gave it up when I became a professor."

"But, I'm sure there are still things you remember how to do."

"Such as?"

"I can remember seeing a certain map . . ." Lily said slowly

"Lil, Filch confiscated that map. I wish I could show it to you again, but I don't have it, and there's no way for me to get it, unless I want to lose my job."

"I don't want _that_ map," Lily replied. "I want you to teach me how to do tracking charms like the ones you used to make it."

James raised an eyebrow. "What do you need a charm like that for?"

"Minnie and I want to track Rodolphus Lestrange," Lily replied.

"Why do you need to track him?"

"We want him to lead us to the Death Eaters so we can uncover more information."

"Are you two _insane_?" James exclaimed. "You can't do that! Do you realize how dangerous that is?"

"Yes," Lily said evenly, looking James straight in the eye. "I've fought every battle with you, James. I know what this means. But, by doing this, I can make sure that no one else has to battle this evil ever again. Please, James, help me. Teach me how to do this."

James drew a deep breath, and exhaled slowly, running his hand through his hair. "All right," he said slowly. "I'll teach you, but I have a condition."

"Name it," Lily said with a gleeful smile.

"When you go in there, I'm going with you."

"What?" Lily cried. "No way, James. I'm not letting you –"

"Risk my life?" James finished. "What makes you think I want to let you risk yours? You said it yourself, Lil – we've fought every battle together. We're not going to stop now."

Lily looked deeply into his eyes. "All right," she said at last. "If I'm going to do this, I want you there beside me."

"Good," James smiled. He kissed her. "We have a deal?"

"We have a deal," she smiled, reaching up to kiss him again.

* * *

"And we're ready for action," Lily said as she walked into Minnie's office the next morning.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Minnie asked, putting down her mug of coffee.

Lily laid a piece of parchment on her friend's desk. "This will show us where Rodolphus Lestrange is at any point in time, and tell us where that is, as well as identify those around him. It's password protected, so not just anyone can use it."

Minnie looked from the parchment to Lily in disbelieve. "Are you making this up as you go along?"

Lily smiled. "Watch." She took out her wand, and touched the parchment with it. "I solemnly swear that I want to destroy Voldemort."

"That's the password?"

"Yes."

"So we have to say his name?" Minnie had become accustomed to hearing Lily use the name, but wasn't quite comfortable with using it herself.

"Cuts down the number of people who will figure it out, doesn't it?" Lily smiled. "Watch this – it's the best part!"

Ink lines spread across the top of the parchment, and formed themselves into the words "The Daily Prophet Offices." Tiny dots appeared, each labeled with a name. Lily's eyes swept across the parchment until they fell on the red dot.

"There he is," she said, touching the parchment. "He's right in his office."

Minnie raised eyes the size of saucers to meet Lily's. "This is bloody brilliant! How did you do it? I've never seen anything like this before!"

Lily grinned. "Well, I must confess, I had some help. It's actually a more sophisticated version of a map of Hogwarts that James, Sirius, Remus and Peter made while we were in school."

"They made something like this at Hogwarts?"

"Yeah, but it only showed the castle and the grounds. This will change location with Rodolphus, and let us know where he is at all times."

Minnie shook her head. "Those four were far too intelligent for their own good."

"You don't know the half of it," Lily muttered, seeing in her mind's eye three boys transform into animals in a dormitory. "I did have to make a deal with James to get him to agree to help me with this, though."

"Do I even want to know?" Minnie grinned.

"No, it's nothing like that," Lily laughed. "I just had to promise that he could come to the Death Eater meeting with us."

Minnie's eyebrows shot up. "You told him?"

"He wanted to know why I need this map," Lily said. "When I told him, he pretty much went crazy – he said he wasn't letting me do this without him. And he had a point – I wouldn't let him do this without me, either."

Minnie sighed. "Well, I guess I need to tell Adam, then – you know, extend the invitation for him to come along, too. If he finds out about this, and that James went and I never told him, he'll kill me."

A knock sounded on the door. Lily grabbed her wand, and touched it to the parchment again.

"Destruction planned!"

Minnie shook her head in amazement as the lines of the map disappeared. "Come in!"

The door opened, and Dorcas stepped into the office.

"Good, you're both here," she said, closing the door behind her. "I've just received intelligence suggesting that the next Death Eater meeting will be tonight or tomorrow, if you're still up for some undercover work. I didn't get the location, though, so you'll have to find that out somehow."

"We're on it," Lily replied.

"You still want to do it, then?" Dorcas asked, looking back and forth between them. "This is very serious, girls, and I don't want to force you into it . . ."

Lily and Minnie exchanged a glance, and nodded.

"We'll be there."

* * *

James, Lily, Minnie and Adam sat at the Potters' kitchen table. They each had a cup of tea, which they occasionally took absent-minded sips from. All four of them had centered their attention on the piece of parchment in the middle of the table.

"How long can he stay in that house with Bella?" James asked, scrunching up his face. "I could barely handle the amount of her that I saw in a day at Hogwarts, and he actually _married_ her?"

"You should like Sirius," Lily smiled.

"He'd be glad to hear it," James grinned.

"Someone else is coming in!" Adam exclaimed. He leaned over to read the names next to the new dot. "Barty Crouch? As in the Head of Magical Law Enforcement?"

"It can't be," Minnie said, leaning closer. "Could the map be wrong?"

"No chance," James said firmly. "The map doesn't have the ability to lie. It can't show anything other than what's there."

"Then how -?"

"They're gone!" Adam exclaimed, cutting Minnie off.

Immediately after the three dots had disappeared, the map wiped itself blank. A moment passed, and then it began to redraw itself. This time, it showed a ballroom of an abandoned house. Almost innumerable names began to appear, forming a circle.

"We couldn't read all of these if we tried," Adam said.

"We only need two, and they're color-coded," James replied. "The red – it's right there – is Lestrange. And the green . . ."

"Is Voldemort," Lily finished, touching the green ink. She shivered slightly, and pulled her hand back.

"That's all we need," James said as a new dot labeled "Peter Pettigrew" appeared. Without noticing it, he touched the parchment with his wand. "Destruction planned!"

The map instantly went blank. The names of all the Death Eaters were now invisible.

"Everyone ready?" Minnie asked.

All four wore equal looks of determination as they nodded at one another. They took out their wands in preparation for their arrival in the ballroom.

"Let's do it," Minnie said.

With four pops, they Disapparated.

* * *

They Apparated just outside the ballroom. Sounds of various pops and cracks met their ears as the Death Eaters continued to Apparate into the meeting.

"Well, we haven't missed anything yet," James said. "Let's get inside now, while everyone's still grouping up. That way no one will notice us."

"When you get inside, stay close to the wall," Lily added. She pulled the hood of her cloak over her head to hide her bright red hair. "Ready?"

"Let's go," James said, pulling up his own hood.

With one last nod, they entered the ballroom. James had been right; confusion still reined inside. The Death Eaters were robed and masked; it would be impossible to identify them. James and Lily went to one side of the room, while Adam and Minnie went to the other. They pressed themselves against the walls as they crept through the room, trying to find Rodolphus, or to hear anyone else referred to by name.

The Death Eaters completed their circle, and James, Lily, Adam and Minnie crouched down, trying to avoid being seen. An eerie silence fell, only to be broken by a high-pitched voice.

"My friends," Voldemort said softly, "welcome. There are plans to be made tonight, plans that will bring those who are against us to their knees. It is only a matter of time until the Ministry will be begging us for mercy, and I will be the one in control of our world."

A murmur of assent ran throughout the room. Lily felt her heart pounded in her chest, and prayed that no one else could hear it.

"But how very foolish of me," Voldemort continued, "to begin our meeting before welcoming our guests."

Lily gasped as an invisible forced pulled her to the center of the circle. She willed herself to remain calm as she looked at James, Adam and Minnie, who were all standing with her. She glanced past them to the Death Eaters, wondering if their eyes really were glinting maniacally behind their masks, or if that was just a figment of her imagination. She and her friends were standing in the middle of a circle of people who were united against them.

Horror filled Peter's being as he looked at the captives in the middle of the room. What were they doing in the meeting? Didn't they know how dangerous it was? Why did James always have to know everything, to get in the middle of everything? Couldn't he just take his orders from Dumbledore and be happy with it?

Voldemort surveyed the four young adults with mounting dislike. "How very foolish of _you_," he hissed, "to assume you could be in this room without me knowing it. Has our past together taught you Potters nothing? Have you not learned that I am always aware of what is happening around me?" He gave them a twisted smile. "Well, I assume you are here representing Dumbledore and his followers. Let's see what he has taught you!"

Another invisible force made them all stumble backwards. They all managed to stay on their feet, amid the jeers of the Death Eaters. Invisible ropes bound their hands and feet together, holding them in place. James tightened his grip on his wand.

"Let them go," James said firmly. "They aren't the ones that you want. They don't have anything to do with this, and they don't answer to Dumbledore. It's Lily and I that you want. We'll stay and fight, but let Adam and Minnie go."

Peter's heart hammered in his chest. What was James doing? Was he trying to get himself and Lily killed? Why was he seeking a battle with the Dark Lord and a roomful of Death Eaters?

"No," Adam said at once, his voice every bit as firm as James's. "We're not leaving without James and Lily."

"Gryffindors," Voldemort said softly. "Always so brave. Always so loyal to their friends. Always so selfless. Very well. You have made your choice. None of you will leave tonight without my special . . . blessing. But I will allow you the dignity of dying like Gryffindors." He waved his hand, and they were freed from the force binding them.

James looked at Lily, his face full of determination. "Shall we give it one more go, then?"

She nodded, and gripped her wand tightly. "I love you, James."

"I love you, too."

Lily turned, and pointed her wand directly at Voldemort. "_Reducto_!"

Voldemort raised his wand, sending her curse into a wall. "I expected better of you, Lily. Perhaps marriage has made you weak. _Crucio_!"

"_Protego_!"

The curse rebounded off Lily's Shield Charm, and struck a Death Eater, who screamed in pain. James picked up the battle, and hurled another curse at Voldemort, who deflected it.

"Do what you like with the other two," he hissed. "Leave the Potters to me!"

The battle began in earnest, with Death Eaters attacking the four young adults from all sides. Peter backed up against a wall, watching in horror as his friends fought for their lives. He clutched his head, trying desperately to decide what he should do. Should he help his friends, and risk exposing himself? Or should he remain still, and protect them from the knowledge that he was a Death Eater?

"_Imperio_!"

Peter gasped as he watched James's face go blank. "Fight it, James," he whispered. "I know you can! Fight it!"

The battle came to a standstill as all eyes turned to James. Peter tore his eyes from his friend for a moment to look at the others. Adam and Minnie had been tied up again. Lily was still standing, but a Death Eater held her firmly in place. Judging by the look in her eyes, it was only a matter of time before she tried to break free.

"Kill Lily, James," Voldemort said lazily.

James obediently turned to face Lily. Peter gasped again. Surely James wouldn't . . .?

"Kill her," Voldemort hissed.

"James," Lily begged. "James, please! Can you hear me? I love you, James. I love you, and you love me! Please, James!"

"Kill her!" Voldemort yelled.

James raised his wand, and pointed it at her.

"JAMES!" she screamed. "JAMES, IT'S ME! PLEASE, LOVE, LISTEN TO ME!"

"KILL HER!"

"JAMES!"

"NO!" James shook his head, and his eyes came back into focus. He rounded on Voldemort. "_Crucio_!"

Taken by surprise, Voldemort didn't have time to deflect the curse. He screamed in pain as it hit him. The Death Eater holding Lily released her in shock as he watched his master falling victim to the curse.

"Lil, get Adam and Minnie!" James yelled.

Lily raced toward her friends, shouting curses at the Death Eaters who tried to block her path. She freed Adam and Minnie, and looked around wildly.

"Disapparate!" she yelled. "Get out of here! James and I will be out soon, I promise!"

"Lils . . ."

"GO!" she screamed. She took off again, charging forward to help James in his battle with the Dark Lord. Two pops assured her that Adam and Minnie had followed her orders.

James looked at Lily as she approached. "On three," he said. "One . . . two . . . three . . ."

"_CRUCIO_!" they both yelled.

Voldemort screamed in pain, and a round of cracks filled the room.

"_STUPEFY_!"

James and Lily both stopped as the Aurors took over the battle with the Death Eaters. Voldemort took advantage of their dropped guard, and gave them his twisted smile.

"We're not through," he hissed. "And we won't be until I've killed you both!"

"I'd like to see you try," James sneered.

Voldemort smiled again, and Disapparated. Lily looked at James helplessly.

"We let him escape again!"

"But look at those we've caught," James replied, indicating the Death Eaters who were being arrested. He pulled Lily close, and kissed her temple. "Let's go home."

She nodded, and they Disapparated. Peter breathed a sigh of relief, then he, too, Disapparated.

* * *

Adam and Minnie were pacing back and forth in the Potters' living room when James and Lily arrived. As soon as she saw them, Minnie gave a strangled cry, and flung herself at Lily. Lily held her close, clinging to Minnie as much as Minnie was clinging to her.

"We're all right," Lily said softly. "We're all right."

"I was so scared!" Minnie exclaimed, pulling back enough to look into Lily's face. "I never knew – I never thought . . . You do things like that all the time, don't you?"

"Well, maybe not exactly like that, but similar," James said, sitting down on the couch. He closed his eyes, then opened them again. "Are you two all right?"

"Yeah," Adam said, sitting down next to him. "But we didn't take nearly as much as the two of you did. Did the Aurors get there in time?"

James nodded. "You sent them?"

Adam nodded. "All Ministry employees now have emergency access to the Auror department. That's where we went first."

Minnie shuddered. "I can't believe people do things like that as a career."

"Some of us do it out of a sense of duty,' James said softly.

Minnie sat down, shaking her head. "I will never understand how you find the strength to do it, but . . . thank you."

Lily and James looked at her blankly. "What?" they asked in unison.

Tears filled her eyes. "You do things like that – fight like that and risk your lives like that – to save our world. So thank you – thank you for all that you do to help all of us."

Lily and James nodded. No words seemed adequate.

Adam rose to his feet. "Will you be all right?"

"Yeah, we're fine," James said.

Adam nodded. "Let's go home, Min."

She nodded, and gave Lily another fierce hug. Then, with two pops, they were gone.

James smiled at Lily. "And so we've cheated death once again."

She gave him a half-hearted smile and nodded.

"What's wrong, love?"

Lily drew a shaky breath. "That's three times, James. Three times that we've faced him and lived, and three times that he's gotten away. What happens next time? When will this end?"

James crossed the room, and pulled her close. "Don't think like that," he said. "Be happy that we're alive, and that we've lived to fight another day. We can't think about the 'what ifs.' We have to live –"

"Like there's no tomorrow," Lily finished, tipping her head back to smile at him. "So I've heard before."

James smiled, and leaned down to kiss her. "Thank God we made it," he whispered. "I don't know what I'd do without you. When I think about what he tried to make me do to you . . . You know I love you, don't you?"

"I know," she replied. "And I knew you'd never do it. I knew you would be able to break through his control." She smiled. "I love you, too, James. So much."

He smiled, and kissed her again.


	26. The Unexpected

A/N: This is a titch shorter than the last chapter, but by the time you get to the end, I don't think you'll care! Enjoy! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I don't own Harry Potter

The Unexpected

Olivia walked quickly through the streets of London, hurrying back to Diagon Alley. Not for the first time, she was leaving the Auror Academy late. Since the day Moody had reprimanded her for her lack of concentration, she had taken to staying later, working furiously to improve her skills. She was determined to be the best Auror the Ministry had seen since Moody himself. The solitary walks home were the best way for her to put the hard work behind her, to relax enough to sleep peacefully at night.

Even though she had left the Academy for the day, Moody's directives of constant vigilance stayed with her. A sense of uneasiness fell over her, and her eyes swept the street, searching for what was out of place. Her fingers closed around the wand in her pocket, ready to defend herself.

"Show yourself!" she commanded. "Who's there?"

A man stepped out of the shadows to her right. She rounded on him, ready to pull her wand out at the first warning.

"Who are you?" she demanded. "What do you want?"

"I want to talk to you, Olivia."

She narrowed her eyes. "How did you know my name?"

"I was sent to find you," he said, stepping closer. "We knew this is where we would find you."

"Who is 'we'?" Olivia asked warily.

"I'm the only one here," the man replied.

"But you said we," she said, her eyes searching the area behind him, looking for his accomplice.

"Yes, I did. I was referring to my master and I."

Her eyes instantly focused on his face again. "Your master?" she repeated. "Who . . ." Everything clicked in her mind. It was a story she had heard too many times. "Do you mean _Voldemort_?"

The man flinched. "_Yes_," he hissed. "And you would do well not to use his name so casually!"

"I'll use whatever name I want to use," Olivia said defiantly. "Why has he sent you to find me? To try to recruit me, like he did my friends?"

"Of course," the man replied. "With your skills as an Auror, you would be a welcome addition to our ranks. The Dark Lord has even considered asking you to be a spy for him."

Olivia laughed. "After you failed with my friends, you honestly thought that _I_ would join you? Don't be ridiculous!"

"Failed with your friends," he repeated with a smile. "If that's what you think, you must not know your friends very well."

"Remus lost his job because he refused you," she snarled. "And if Sirius had wanted to join you, he would have done so years ago. They're the only ones you've approached."

"Far be it from me to correct you."

Olivia waved her hand dismissively. "You and your mates live to lie. We are through. Tell Voldemort that I refuse, and that he's wasting his time with my friends and I. We'll never turn."

"Very well," the Death Eater replied. "But one word of caution: Things aren't always what they seem, and the people who seem trustworthy can't always be trusted." He smiled. "If you ever change your mind . . ." He held out a business card.

Olivia laughed again, and knocked the card out of his hand. "_Never_."

"As you wish." With a crack, he Disapparated.

Olivia stared at the spot where he had been standing. What had he meant about trusting people? And what had he meant about her friends?

She shook her head. "He was just trying to scare me," she whispered. "None of my friends would ever become Death Eaters. It's impossible!"

She started walking again. This time, her fingers stayed clamped around her wand until she was inside her flat.

* * *

Peter listened attentively as an older witch told him about her son, who was in his last year at Hogwarts. He nodded as he placed the items she had purchased into a bag.

"You're sure you didn't know him?" she asked. "He's in Hufflepuff."

"I don't remember him," Peter admitted. "But I'm terrible with names, so I may have known him and just not known his name. Do you have a picture? I may remember his face."

"No, not with me," she said a bit regretfully. "I'll bring one next time I'm in."

"Yes, do," Peter said pleasantly, handing her the bag.

Without warning, a burning pain struck his arm. He sucked in a quick breath of air, and grabbed his arm as the location he was to Apparate to filled his mind.

"Are you all right?" the witch asked.

"Fine," Peter gasped. "I fell off a broomstick when I was little . . . sometimes it still bothers me."

The witch shook her head. "Those old injuries can be the worst. You should put something on that."

"I will right now," Peter replied. "Excuse me . . ."

He stumbled into the empty storeroom, and took a calming breath. Once he felt stable again, he Disapparated.

The Dark Lord sat behind the desk of a richly appointed office. Several other Death Eaters were in the room with him, silently waiting. They all looked up at Peter as he Apparated into the center of the room.

"Ah, Mr. Pettigrew," Voldemort greeted him. "Welcome to my headquarters."

"Your headquarters?" Peter repeated with a slight frown.

"But of course. Every good military operation has a headquarters. Unfortunately, I can't let you see more of it than this room. No one has seen any other part of the building. It would be too much information, and too much of a temptation to sell it to the Ministry."

"I haven't given any information to the Ministry," Peter said defensively.

"Yes, I know," Voldemort said slowly, resting his fingertips together. "But the fact remains that your friends found their way into our meeting a month ago."

"I never said a word to them!" Peter exclaimed, feeling panic take hold of him. "They don't even know that I'm a Death Eater!"

Voldemort looked directly into his eyes, and nodded slowly. "I know that you didn't tell them. It's all clear in your mind. We are still trying to determine how they found us."

Peter breathed a sigh of relief. "I don't know how they found out, my Lord."

Voldemort waved his hand. "Really, we can leave that topic. It is not the reason I summoned you here."

"Oh?"

"No." Voldemort sat back in his chair. "You have spent a considerable amount of time in my service, and have had knowledge of quite a few plans. Yet, at the same time, you have served Dumbledore."

"I can't leave the Order," Peter said at once. "Everyone will know that something isn't right. It would arouse suspicion."

"I wouldn't expect you to leave the Order. In fact, I am proposing that you keep both memberships. I just want you to make better use of your time with Dumbledore."

"How?"

"I want you to spy for me." He waved his hand to indicate the others in the room. "These are my current spies. When the Aurors took some of my Death Eaters during the meeting last month, they imprisoned several of my most valuable spies. I would like for you to help fill in the gaps their absence has created in my communication system."

"You – you want me to be a _spy_?"

"Very eloquent, Pettigrew," Voldemort said sarcastically. "But, yes, that is what I am offering."

"Can I think about it?"

"Oh, very well. But I want an answer soon. These games of guilty conscience are wearisome." He narrowed his eyes. "You must commit yourself to our cause, Peter, or be prepared to face the consequences."

"I _am_ committed."

Voldemort nodded. "I expect your answer in three days."

* * *

James was getting ready for the seventh year ball. He couldn't find his dress robes. They weren't in the closet where he had left them. Remus floated through the room, and James calmed down. Remus would help him.

"Remus, I can't find my dress robes!" he exclaimed.

"Can't you keep track of your things?" Remus asked.

"We don't have time! Lily's waiting . . . Lily's waiting!"

James was jerked awake. He took a steadying breath. What an odd dream. Maybe working at Hogwarts was finally starting to make him crazy. He blinked, wondering what had awoken him. He rolled over to see if Lily was still sleeping. No, she wasn't even there. She was gone?

"Lil?" he called into the semi-darkness of the room.

A strangled cough was the only response he heard. Frowning, he got out of bed, and walked out of the bedroom. He glanced down the hall, and saw a light peeking out from under the bathroom door. His frown deepened. Lily never turned on the bathroom light at night; she said the light hurt her eyes. He walked quickly down the hall, and tapped on the bathroom door.

"Lil? Are you all right?"

"No."

"I'm coming in, all right?" Without waiting for a reply, he pushed the door open.

Lily was sitting on the floor with her knees drawn up to her chest. Her face was streaked with tears and sweat, and her hair was a tangled mess.

"Lil?" James knelt down next to her, and brushed her hair back from her face.

"Remember that flu I had seventh year?"

"Yeah?"

"I think it's back. I swear, James, that was the last time I felt this awful."

"Well, love, one good thing came out of that experience," James smiled.

"Oh, really? Would that have been the part where half the Gryffindors caught it from me?"

James grinned. "I forgot how sarcastic you can be when you're sick. And, _no_, the good thing wasn't everyone getting sick with you. It was that it made me realize that I love you."

Lily made a face. "You're so sappy, Potter."

He laughed. "Oh, cheer up. Maybe something good will come of this, too."

"I can't see that happening," Lily groaned. "Can you help me up? I want to brush my teeth."

"All right," James agreed, helping her to her feet. "But then you're going back to bed, and you're staying home from work today."

"Sure, Mum," she replied, making a face.

James handed her her toothbrush. "Don't be ridiculous, Lil. There's no way you could go to work like this."

"I suppose you're right," she said. "Minnie will be fine without me for a day." An odd look crossed her face, and she shoved the toothbrush back into James's hand before lunging toward the toilet.

"Maybe more than a day," James said, making a face.

* * *

Dumbledore tapped the letter of resignation he had just received against his desk. He had expected that his Potions teacher would be leaving him soon; Professor Dahl had been at Hogwarts longer than Dumbledore himself. He just had never anticipated that it would be in the middle of the year. He didn't have much time to find a replacement for him before the second term began. The Christmas holidays were less than a week away.

Tapping the letter against the desk again, he nodded. It was time. He picked up a quill, and began to compose a letter.

* * *

Lily tossed aside the magazine she had been reading, and burrowed down under her afghan. After two days off work, she was bored. She wanted to go back, but her stomach seemed to disagree with that idea. Every time she was convinced that she was cured, she would find herself running to the bathroom again.

She glanced at the clock. James should be home soon. To save her from having to watch him eat while she was sick, he had stayed at Hogwarts for dinner the past two days. Lily suspected that he was secretly excited to be able to eat at the school again.

Two pops sounded, shaking her from her thoughts. She looked up in surprise, wondering who was coming into her house.

"Hey, love," James said cheerfully. "I brought someone to entertain you this evening!"

"Hi, Lils!"

"Olivia!" Lily exclaimed. "I'm so glad to see you! But – I don't know if you should be here. You don't want to catch this flu."

Olivia shrugged, and sat down next to her on the couch. "James lives with you, and he hasn't caught it."

Lily rolled her eyes. "He swears he's immune. I'm actually starting to believe him. This is the second time I've been on death's door with the flu while he stayed completely healthy. It's totally unfair, if you ask me."

"Don't listen to her, Liv!" James called from the kitchen.

Olivia giggled. "So, James tells me you're getting bored?"

"I'm _beyond_ bored," Lily moaned. "I just want to leave the house again! Please, Liv, give me some news from the outside world! You must have _something_ exciting to share!"

James came in with a tea tray, and handed each girl a cup before sitting down. "She's begging for entertainment here, Liv. Can you sing and dance for her?"

Olivia smiled, and took a sip of her tea. "Actually, there is something I wanted to talk to you two about."

"What is it?"

"A couple days ago, a Death Eater approached me on my way home from the Academy." Seeing the looks of horror on their faces, she quickly continued. "He didn't attack me! He wanted to recruit me."

"You, too?" James asked. "When will they give up on us?"

"That was my thought, too," Olivia replied. "I asked him why he had come for me after my friends had refused him."

"And?"

"He implied that I was wrong," she frowned. "He said something about not trusting the trustworthy, or something like that."

"How odd," James frowned. "How could you be wrong? The only two who have been approached, aside from you now, are Sirius and Remus, and we all know what happened there."

"I know," Olivia said in exasperation. "It was all so odd! Why would he say that?"

"He was lying," Lily replied. "He was lying to convince you to join him. We're not talking about honorable people here, Liv. They'll stoop to any level to achieve their goals. You know that."

"I know," Olivia said again. She shook her head. "I suppose I'm just upset that they targeted me. Watch out – you two might be next."

James smiled grimly. "We're ready."

"Good." She glanced at Lily, who was toying with her still-full teacup. "You know, you really should see a Healer. You don't look good at all."

Lily smiled. "Thanks, Liv. That was inspirational."

"No, I'm serious! You need to get better!"

"All right. I'll go to a Healer if I don't get better."

"If you don't get better by when?" Olivia pressed.

"Er . . ."

"Tomorrow," Olivia said decisively. "If you're not better in the morning, you go to a Healer."

Lily smiled. "All right, Mum."

"Lils, I'm serious. Promise me that you'll go see a Healer if you're not better in the morning."

"All right! Calm down! I'll go."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

* * *

Promptly at six, a knock sounded on Dumbledore's office door. He waved his wand to open it, and gave his guest a cheery smile.

"Very punctual, Severus," he said.

"Your letter said the matter was urgent," Snape replied.

"Indeed it is," Dumbledore agreed. "Please, sit down."

Snape took the offered chair silently.

"Severus, allow me to be very direct with you," Dumbledore said, his face completely serious. "I've received notification that our Potions teacher will not be returning after the holidays, and I would like to offer you the position."

Snape's eyebrows shot up so high that they were nearly lost in his hair. "What?"

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled in amusement. "I expected you to be surprised, but you shouldn't be. You were always an exceptional Potions student."

"Yes, but . . . I thought you were opposed to my . . . shall we say, lifestyle choices?"

Dumbledore observed him for a moment before responding. "Severus, if I only surrounded myself with people who thought exactly like me, I would have a very boring group of friends. If I only allowed teachers who thought exactly like me to teach in my school, I would have a school full of boring staff and students. I believe in looking at things from others' points of view." He paused, and gave Snape a grave look. "I also believe in second chances."

"Is this my second chance, then?" Snape asked with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"No," Dumbledore replied seriously, "this is your opportunity to _earn_ your second chance. If you meet my expectations during the time between now and June, I will ask you to return next year. If not, I will be searching for a new Potions professor. The outcome is entirely up to you and the choices you make for the remainder of the academic year." He sat back in his chair. "Will you accept my offer, Severus?"

Snape looked thoughtful for a moment. "Yes," he said at last. "Yes, I will join your staff."

* * *

Peter winced as the burning pain stung his arm. He wanted desperately to ignore it, and to carry on with washing the dishes in his mother's kitchen. But even as that thought went through his head, the pain grew stronger. He closed his eyes, and allowed the destination to fill his mind. He placed the last dish in the cupboard with a sigh.

"Mum, I'm going out!" he called.

"So late?" she replied.

"I won't be long," Peter said, praying he was right.

"But . . ." His mother walked into the kitchen with a frown. "You're sure you want to go out so late?"

"I'm sure," Peter nodded.

Before she could protest again, he Disapparated.

He found himself in the same location where he had met with his master three days before. The Dark Lord was once again seated at his desk. This time, he was alone.

"Welcome back, Peter," he said. "I expect you have had sufficient time to consider my proposal."

"Yes," Peter replied.

"And?"

A thousand reasons not to do it flew through his mind.

"Peter?"

"Yes," Peter said. "I'll do it."

"You'll do what?"

"I'll be a spy for you."

Voldemort sat back in his chair, and brought his fingertips together. He surveyed Peter for a moment. "Yes," he said. "Yes, you will be one of my spies. We will need to train you. Await my summons." He smiled his twisted smile. "Your time is coming, Peter. I am sure you will prove yourself valuable to us all."

* * *

James looked uncertainly at Lily as he prepared to Disapparate. She gave him a half-hearted smile.

"I'll be fine," she said.

"You'll go to see a Healer?" he asked.

"_Yes_. I promised both you and Olivia. What more do you need?"

James smiled. "To go with you to prove that you actually did it." He leaned down to kiss her. "Our end of term meeting is tonight, but I'll come home as early as I can. I want to know everything the Healer says."

"Yes, sir," Lily said, kissing him again. "Now get to work before you're late. We have to make sure that one of us isn't in danger of unemployment."

James rolled his eyes. "The Prophet isn't going to sack you for being ill. I think that's illegal."

"Well, this Healer had better get me back to work tomorrow," Lily stated. "Have fun with your students, James."

He smiled. "Thanks, love. I'll see you tonight!"

Once he was gone, Lily pulled herself out of bed. Her fingers shook as she chose clothes for the day. She was already quite sure of what the Healer would tell her – she just wasn't sure what to think about it. Delaying the moment when she would have to react seemed like the easiest thing to do. She took a long, hot shower.

* * *

Lily lay as still as death on the Healer's table. She had never felt so nervous in her entire life. Right now her suspicions were still just suspicions, and they would remain that way until Healer Lewis told her otherwise. He didn't seem to be in any hurry as he pointed his wand at her over and over, performing different tests. Oh, _why_ did these Healers have to move so slowly?

Healer Lewis aimed his wand at the chart beside the table, recording all the information it had taken from Lily. He gave her a smile.

"All right, Mrs. Potter, you can sit up now."

Lily smiled back nervously, and slowly raised herself to a sitting position, willing her stomach to stop churning. "Well?" she asked.

He gave her a beaming smile. "Congratulations, Mrs. Potter. You're pregnant!"

Lily stared at him, telling herself not to panic. After all, this was what she had expected to hear. Ever since the first morning she had been sick, she had suspected that this might be the reason. She hadn't let herself say anything to James for fear that she might be right. She was afraid that he might feel the same way she did – that they were far too young to become parents.

"Mrs. Potter? Are you all right?"

Lily focused on the Healer's face. "When?" she asked. "When will the baby be born?"

"Early August," he replied. "Maybe late July. If you'd like, we can do an image right now to get the exact date."

Lily shook her head. She wasn't ready for that yet. An image – an actual picture of the baby – would make it real.

"You want to wait for your husband?"

"Yes," she said. "I want to wait for James to be here for that."

Healer Lewis nodded. "I want to do the image by the end of the month, so you'll need to schedule your appointment before you leave today. After that, I'll need to see you once a month until May, when we'll start increasing your appointments."

Lily nodded, feeling the panic she had been fighting take hold. This was really happening. She was going to be a mother.

"Do you have any questions?"

She shook her head wordlessly.

He handed her a vial of potion. "Take this once a day for a week, and you should be fine in terms of morning sickness. If not, come back and see me."

Lily gave a hollow laugh. "It's far more than 'morning' sickness. I've been sick at all hours of the day and night!"

Healer Lewis smiled sympathetically. "Well, this should cure you of all illness. We want you feeling well again. You need to be strong for the baby."

She nodded. The panic was now firmly in place.

The Healer smiled at the expression on her face. "I take it this was a surprise?"

Lily smiled sheepishly. "Well, it certainly wasn't planned."

His smile broadened. "Don't worry, Lily. The best things in life never are."

* * *

"I know you are all anxious to get home to begin celebrating the holiday season, but please bear with me for one more announcement."

James smiled tolerantly. He knew that only respect for Dumbledore had kept the teachers attentive this long. They were all clearly ready to begin "celebrating the holiday season." Judging by the expressions on some faces, a few had already begun their celebrations.

"I'm afraid that I must give you the sad news that Professor Dahl will not be returning to us after the holiday."

Shock rippled through the room. James reminded himself half a second too late to close his mouth. Fortunately, everyone else in the room was in equal disbelief.

"He's leaving his OWL and NEWT students halfway through the year?" Professor Sprout whispered to Professor McGonagall. "You know how difficult the Potions exams are!"

"He says they'd be better off without him," McGonagall whispered back.

"Have you found a replacement for him?" Professor Flitwick asked.

Dumbledore smiled. "I'm glad you asked. I would like to introduce you to the newest member of our teaching staff: Severus Snape."

Snape walked confidently into the room, giving the teachers his usual scowling expression. This time, James didn't even bother to close his mouth.


	27. The Christmas Gift

A/N: Sorry this took a bit longer to get out. It had two things working against it – first, I couldn't get it the way I wanted it; second, I've been glued to the news for the past week. If you have in any way been affected by the disaster in Asia, you have my most heartfelt sympathies. I can't even get my mind around the magnitude of what's happened.

Happy New Year to you all – I hope 2005 brings you joy!

I don't own Harry Potter.

The Christmas Gift

Lily trembled slightly as she looked at the clock. James would be home any minute, and she still hadn't decided how to give him the news that they were to become parents. She ran her hands over her flat abdomen, trying to imagine what it would feel like over the course of the next several months. She was in for quite a few changes.

She flopped down on the couch, and picked up a magazine. After flipping through it without seeing a word, she flung it aside. She frowned as she tried to come up with a new way to kill the time until James came home.

"We need a television," she muttered to herself. "What house doesn't have a tv? We need one – especially with the baby. I can't imagine my child not having the opportunity to watch cartoons, or movies, or . . ." She trailed off, considering what she had just said.

_My child._

The panic began to return. It was true. She was going to become a mother. Before the summer ended, she was going to have a child of her own.

"I've always wanted to be a mother," she told herself. She sighed. "I'm sorry, Baby. I just didn't expect to have you so soon. I'm not sure how to be a mother. But I'll try. I promise that I'll do my best to be a good mother to you."

The fireplace jumped to life, startling Lily out of her seat. James rarely Flooed home. But who else would come in at this time of day? Could it be . . .? She didn't know, but she didn't feel safe, either. She edged slightly away from the fireplace, one hand reaching for her wand, while the other protectively covered her abdomen.

She gave an audible sigh of relief when James stepped out of the fireplace. He brushed the soot off his robes as he straightened up. It was just James . . . But that meant that he was home, and she had to tell him about the baby.

"Flooing home?" Lily asked lightly, trying to push down the butterflies in her stomach.

"I was in no mood to Apparate," James replied. "You won't _believe_ what Dumbledore's done!"

"What?" Lily asked, not sure if she was glad for the delay or not. He had bought her a few extra minutes, but the wait was only making her more nervous.

"I'll tell you and Sirius together," James said.

"Sirius?" Lily asked faintly. Was he saying that they would have a guest?

"Yeah, I told him to come over for dinner tonight. He's going to need to hear this news in person."

"Oh. . ."

James suddenly stopped, and looked at her intently. "Oh, man, Lil, I'm sorry. I didn't even think – you're sick – I shouldn't have –"

"It's all right," Lily interrupted, remembering a previous conversation with Sirius, promising that he would be the first to know if she was pregnant. "I'm feeling much better, and I have something to tell Sirius, too. Both of you, actually."

"Do you want to tell us together when he gets here?"

"No-o," Lily said slowly. "No, I want to tell you now."

"All right," James said, sitting down in his favorite armchair. He spread his hands out, palms up in an open gesture. "Tell me."

Lily took a deep breath, and knelt down in front of him. She took his hands in hers, and looked up into his hazel eyes, searching for the right words to tell him. As she watched him without speaking, a shadow of fear fell across his face.

"Lily, you're okay, aren't you?" he asked, his voice tight with concern. "The Healer didn't tell you . . .?"

"Oh, no!" Lily exclaimed. "No, it's nothing like that!" She took another deep breath, hating herself for scaring him. "No, James, it's just hard because it's not something we planned . . . it's just . . ." One last deep breath. "James, I'm pregnant. We're going to have a baby."

James looked at her for a long minute, then blinked. "What?"

"I'm pregnant."

He stared at her a moment longer, then smiled. He leaned forward, and kissed her forehead. "Thank God."

Tears sprang into Lily's eyes. This was the last reaction she had expected. "What?"

"My God, Lil, I was so scared! You've been so ill, I thought something was seriously wrong with you . . . I thought after all we've done, after all the battles we fought, I was going to lose you to some sickness . . . but this . . . this . . ." He slid off his chair so that he was kneeling with her, and pulled her close, gently kissing her. "Thank God you're all right. I don't know what I'd do without you."

The tears began to fall down her cheeks. "Oh, James," she whispered.

"Hey," he said softly, brushing away her tears, "what's this?"

"I was so scared to tell you!" she exclaimed. "I still am scared! James! We're going to have a baby!"

"I know," he said, kissing her again. "And it scares me, too. How can anyone expect me to be a good father? But, Lil, if we can face Voldemort three times and live to tell the tale, I'm sure we can handle a baby."

Lily smiled. "I suppose. I do want this baby. I've always wanted to be someone's mummy. It's just such a surprise."

"If we had been able to choose, we probably would have waited," James agreed. "But don't you think that makes our little baby even more special?"

"I guess it does," Lily replied, smiling wider. She ran her hand through James's hair. "I hope the baby has your hair."

James smiled. "I certainly don't. This hair and I have been in constant battle for years!" He traced his finger over her lips. "I hope he has your smile."

Lily smiled. "He?" she repeated. "Why not _she_?"

James smiled, and kissed her again. "In that case, I hope she looks exactly like you. I want her to have your red hair, and your green, green eyes."

Lily smiled. "What are the chances that she'll look _exactly_ like me?"

James laughed. "About as good as the chances that a boy would look exactly like me. But we can dream until . . ." He trailed off, and laughed again. "When will this little one join us?"

"In July or August. We have an imaging appointment on Christmas Eve. We'll get the exact date then."

James nodded, and kissed her again. "Well, that gives me plenty of time to take care of you both."

"Oh, James, I'm fine now! Healer Lewis gave me a potion so I won't be so sick anymore, and he said I can go back to work within a week. I don't need you babying me. I can take care of myself."

"Please, Lil –"

His statement was cut off by a crack. Sirius looked around for a moment, then saw his friends together on the floor.

"Hello," he said with a knowing grin. "Should I come back at a more convenient time? You two look a little . . . busy."

James grinned as he stood up. "Padfoot, you have the dirtiest mind." He held his hand out to help Lily to her feet.

"Hey, I just said that you looked busy. Whatever meaning you gave that came from your own dirty mind."

"Honestly," Lily sighed. "You two will be the death of me."

Sirius grinned, and crossed to kiss her cheek. "How are you feeling, Little Flower? James tells me that you've been sick."

"I have been," Lily agreed. "But I'm much better now."

"You went to a Healer, then?"

"Yes."

"And?"

Lily glanced at James, who took her hand. "You tell him," she smiled. "You've been friends with him longer."

James grinned. "Well, Padfoot, I hope you're prepared to do a lot of babysitting in the near future."

Sirius frowned. "Babysitting?" he repeated. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open as understanding hit him. "Are you – are you -?"

Lily nodded with a smile. "I'm pregnant."

"Congratulations!" Sirius exclaimed. He grabbed Lily, and pulled her into a bear hug that lifted her off the ground. He set her down again, and hugged James. "I can't believe you two!" he exclaimed. "What made you decide to do this so soon?"

"Well . . ." James smiled, exchanging a glance with Lily.

Sirius laughed. "Even better. Surprises are great!" He grinned. "I can't wait to be Uncle Sirius. When will my nephew be born?"

"July or August," Lily replied, certain that a battle over gender with Sirius was a waste of her time.

"That's a bit long to wait," Sirius said. "Can't you hurry it up a bit?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "And you're going to be a role model for my child?"

Sirius grinned, and touched Lily's stomach. "Remember, kid, I'm on your side. I'm the fun uncle."

James laughed. "Oh, this little guy is in for an interesting life."

* * *

It was late when Sirius left that night. James looked at Lily, who had circles under her eyes.

"You need to sleep, love. I'll clean up."

Lily didn't even bother to protest. She smiled, and kissed James's lips. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

She started to leave the room, but stopped in the doorway. "James?" she asked, turning to face him again.

"Yeah?"

"Are you really happy? About the baby?"

"Lil . . ."

"No, James, I mean it. I know we both said we're happy about it, and I am okay with the idea now that the shock has worn off a bit, but really . . . We've never talked about having children so soon. It's always been something we wanted to do later, when we're more established . . . And we're in the middle of this war, when our world is so dangerous. This isn't the best time to have a baby."

James crossed the room to stand in front of her, and tipped her chin up to look into her eyes. "Do you want this baby?"

"Yes, of course!" she exclaimed. "I'd never do anything to hurt the baby! I guess it just doesn't seem real – or maybe I don't want it to be real . . . I don't know!"

"Lil . . ."

She sighed. "I know, James. I know. I know that this is our child, and I know that I'm going to love and adore it. But I just . . . I just need some time to get used to the idea."

James nodded. "It is weird to think about it, isn't it? You're right. It doesn't seem real. I mean, I know in my head that we're going to have a baby, but I can't seem to convince myself that I'm actually going to be a father."

"It's just such a scary thing. And this is such an unstable, scary time . . ."

"I know all that. Everything you've said is all I've been able to think about all night. You're right; this is the worst possible time for this. We're too young, and we aren't ready. We don't have a clue how to be good parents.

"But we have to get ready. This isn't about us anymore, Lil. This is about our baby now. I know you're scared. I'm terrified. But I also know that if we work together, there's nothing we can't do. And that includes being parents. We will love our child, and we will be the best parents we can. We'll teach him and protect him, and we'll watch him grow up and go to Hogwarts and . . ." He smiled. "I know you're going to be a fantastic mum."

Tears filled Lily's eyes as she kissed her husband. "I love you."

"I love you, too." He kissed her again. "We only have a few months to get over ourselves, Lil. We'd better start trying to think like parents."

* * *

Lily clutched James's hand as they walked into the Healer's office. James smiled at her.

"Not nervous, are you?" he asked.

She gave him a glare. "We're about to see images of the small person who is currently living inside my abdomen. Yes, I'm a bit nervous!"

James smiled, and squeezed her hand. "Don't worry, love. I'm sure the baby is fine. And I'm sure you're fine, too."

"Are you still going to say that once I weigh as much as a killer whale?"

James laughed. "You're not going to gain that much weight. And even if you do, you're still going to be beautiful."

She rolled her eyes at him as the receptionist called her name.

"Let's go," James said, ushering her ahead of him.

"I can't believe you're so calm about this."

He shrugged. "One of us has to be. Besides, we're going to see our child for the rest of our lives. We might as well start now."

Lily rolled her eyes again as the receptionist showed them into an examining room. She handed Lily a gown.

"Please take off your clothes and put this on," she said. "Healer Lewis will be in shortly."

Once she was gone, Lily changed and hopped up onto the examination table. James frowned slightly.

"What?" she asked.

"I could have helped you up."

"But I made it up fine on my own."

"But you could have fallen."

"James, please! You can't follow me around and try to do everything for me until August! It's going to make me crazy!"

"I'm sorry."

"I know that you're concerned, but I'm really fine."

James smiled. "I know. And I know how strong you are. I'm just going to have to work harder to remember it now."

The door opened, and Healer Lewis stepped into the room. "Well, hello!" he said cheerfully. "How are you? Feeling any better, Lily?"

"Much, thank you," she replied. "I'm going back to work after the holidays."

"That's great! And you're here today so we can get our first look at the baby, right?"

"Right."

He nodded. "Excellent. Now, Lily, just lie down, and we'll get started."

Lily did as she was instructed, and held her hand out to James. He stepped over to stand next to her, and took her hand firmly in his.

"Now, you'll want to look over there," Healer Lewis said, indicating an open space in the center of the room. "We'll be able to see a three dimensional image, and I'll be able to give you picture to take home with you." He pointed his wand at Lily's abdomen, and muttered a spell, then aimed the wand at the open space, saying another incantation.

A bright jet of white light erupted from the tip of his wand. For a moment, thousands of specks of light sparkled in the air. Then they began to move, coming together to form an image of the tiniest baby Lily had ever seen. As she looked at the little baby – her little baby – tears began to form in her eyes.

"There we are," Healer Lewis smiled. "You can see the head here – the feet here – arms and hands . . . Congratulations. So far, it looks like your little one is healthy and developing right on schedule."

Her tears beginning to fall, Lily looked up at James. He was staring, mesmerized, at the image of their baby. Tears stood in his eyes, and his mouth was slightly open. Lily gently squeezed his hand.

"James?" she whispered.

He looked down at her. A tear fell from his eye, and dropped down onto her cheek, mingling with her own tears. For once, words failed him. He leaned down and kissed her lips.

Healer Lewis moved his wand, and the image disappeared. Lily gave a cry of dismay.

"Don't worry," he smiled. "I'm giving you three pictures to take with you. And . . ." He looked down at his clipboard, where his wand was recording information. "Your baby will be born on August 4. Would you like to know the gender?"

Lily and James looked at each other for a moment, then shook their heads. The Healer nodded.

"We'll let it be a surprise, then. You're done for today. You'll just need to make an appointment for next month." He smiled, and handed them the pictures. "And you'll want to take these."

As the Healer silently left the room, Lily looked down at the pictures in her hands, holding them as if they were an incomparable treasure. James kissed her forehead.

"My God, Lil," he whispered hoarsely. "That's our baby."

"Our baby," she repeated. She looked up at James with starry eyes. "You were so right. We can do this! We can be parents. We don't have to be scared!"

James looked a bit dazed. "I was right," he said softly. He touched the picture, tracing the baby's head.

Lily beamed at the picture. "Look at our little angel."

James kissed her again. "I love you, Lily. I love you so much." He leaned over even farther, and kissed her still-exposed abdomen. "And I love _you_, my little angel."

* * *

James Apparated with a pop into Sirius's living room. He looked around, searching for any sign that his friend was home.

"Hello?" he called. "Sirius? Are you here?"

"Right here," Sirius said, coming out of the kitchen with a puzzled look on his face. "What brings you over to my bachelor abode?"

James grinned. "I needed to talk."

Sirius sat down on the couch. "Well, I'm your man. What's up?"

James sat down in the chair across from him, and ran his hand through his hair. "I just went to the Healer's office with Lily. We had an appointment to check on the baby."

"Is he all right?" Sirius asked, concern already showing on his face. "The Healer didn't tell you --?"

"No, nothing like that," James said quickly. "The baby is fine. Perfect, actually." He grinned. "I got to see him, Sirius. I got to see my baby."

"Come again?"

"It was an imaging appointment. The Healer took an image of the baby, and showed it to us. We got to see him! It was the most amazing thing . . . The Healer just pointed his wand at Lily, then at the room, and there was the baby. He's still so tiny, Sirius. It was amazing! I've never seen anything like that . . . I've never felt anything like that! I just . . . I just . . . I love this baby so much, Sirius. So much. To see it there like that, so little and . . . And it made me love Lily even more. If you had told me last week that I could possibly love her more, I would have laughed. But I do. Right now, I love her so much that I can't even describe it . . . She's my child's _mother_, Sirius. That's our baby she has inside of her! Can you even imagine?"

Sirius had sat silently during James's speech, his eyes never leaving his friend's face. He swallowed before responding.

"No," he said a bit hoarsely. "No, I can't." _And thanks to Olivia, I may never be able to experience any of what he's talking about_.

James drew a deep breath. "Look, I have to tell someone, and I can't let Lily know, so it has to be you."

"What can't you tell her?" Sirius asked with a frown, bringing his thoughts away from his lost love.

"When Lily first told me she was pregnant, the first thing I felt was relief," James said. "I was worried about how ill she had been, and I was afraid something was really wrong with her. But after a bit, when the excitement of her being well was over . . . I was scared, Sirius. No, not scared. I was terrified! I had never been so scared in my life, not even when I was fighting Voldemort."

"You were scared of being a dad?"

"Yes! The idea of someone's life being in my hands is rather frightening, don't you think?"

Sirius grinned. "I'm sure McGonagall would agree."

James laughed. "Yeah, she probably would."

"Did you tell Lily you were scared?"

"No, of course not. She was already completely terrified, and I didn't want to add any more nervousness to her. So, I've been pretending to be fine with everything, and telling her that it's all going to be all right."

"Very good of you," Sirius commented.

"I didn't know what else to do! I couldn't make her more scared. I had to do something to reassure her. So that's what I tried to do."

"You're talking in the past tense," Sirius observed. "Does that mean you're not scared anymore?"

James shook his head. "I'm still a little nervous," he admitted. "But after seeing my baby today . . . I feel different. I feel . . . I can do this. I can be a dad. And I want this baby, Sirius. I want her more than I've ever wanted anything."

Sirius grinned. "_Her_?"

James waved his hand. "Either way. I just want to have my baby, to teach it, to love it . . . I want to be its Daddy, and to always be there to take care of it."

Sirius shook his head. "This may be the saddest day of our lives, Prongs."

"Why?"

He grinned. "You've officially grown up. You're not thinking of yourself anymore." He shook his head. "The old James is gone, and the new, responsible, Dad James has taken his place! What am I going to do without my friend?"

James grinned. "I'm still your friend, Padfoot."

Sirius sighed. "You know, I almost envy you."

Surprise crossed James's face. "You want to be an old, married dad?"

Sirius shrugged. "What you described when you came in . . . everything about how seeing the baby made you feel . . . I sort of want to know what you're talking about."

"You will, someday."

"Will I?" Sirius looked away for a moment, then looked back at his best friend. "The only woman I've ever even considered marrying and having kids with is Olivia. The only way she'll be with me is if I marry her now. The only way we could _stay_ married is if we wait – there's no way I'm ready to be married now. How exactly does that translate into me having kids?"

James sighed. "I don't know, mate. I wish I had some advice for you, but I don't."

"Neither do I," Sirius replied. He shook his head. "Maybe I should do what you did to get over Lily when she wanted nothing to do with you."

James's eyes widened. "You mean . . .?"

Sirius nodded, a slow grin crossing his face. "I think Sirius Black may go back to being a swingin' bachelor."

"God help the women of London," James laughed.

"London?" Sirius laughed. "Why think so limited? I'm thinking all of England!"

James laughed again, and shook his head. "You'll never change."

"If I did, you wouldn't find me so irresistible!" Sirius laughed, his eyes twinkling.

* * *

"You're sure this is a good idea?" Lily asked as she curled her hair.

"I'm positive," James replied. "They're going to be so excited!"

Lily bit her lip. "They won't think we're too young?"

James came up behind her, and kissed her cheek. "My mum was nineteen when I was born. If they say anything about us being too young, that's just hypocritical. And this is definitely the best way to tell them."

Lily smiled uncertainly. "If you're sure . . ."

"I'm sure. Now, hurry and finish your hair, or we're going to be late."

Lily nodded, and went back to curling her hair. James squeezed her shoulder, and left the bedroom.

Ten minutes later, Lily and James Apparated to the Potters' house. James's parents and Hetty were all there to greet them; they all exchanged hugs and kisses. Mrs. Potter took Lily's face in her hands, and looked deeply into her eyes.

"You look a bit tired, Lily," she said with concern in her voice. "Are you feeling all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine," Lily smiled.

"She was under the weather for a bit, but she went to see a Healer," James added. "She's fine now."

"Good," Mrs. Potter replied, patting Lily's cheek. "Are you both hungry? We have dinner ready, and if we don't eat soon, we'll be late for Mass."

"Mum, it's seven o'clock," James protested. "Mass doesn't start until midnight! We have five hours!"

"We can't be late on Christmas Eve, James!"

"Let's go sit down before the food gets cold," Mr. Potter interjected. He took Lily's arm. "You stay with me," he advised in a loud whisper. "We'll let the two of them fight it out."

Lily giggled, and James and his mother both laughed. The two couples walked into the dining room together, where Hetty was waiting to serve the first course of the meal.

"Sit down, Hetty," Mr. Potter said as they all took their seats. "You know Christmas is a time for family to eat together."

"But who will serve?" she squeaked.

"We can all take care of ourselves," Mrs. Potter said confidently.

Hetty was about to protest again when James pulled out a chair for her.

"Have a seat, Hetty," he smiled. "I never get to eat with you anymore."

Her protests silenced, Hetty sat down.

James looked at Lily, who nodded. He reached into his pocket, and cleared his throat.

"Before we start, Lily and I would like to give you a Christmas present."

His parents exchanged surprised glances, then looked back at the younger couple.

"All right," Mrs. Potter agreed. "I am a bit surprised, James. You normally don't want anything to do with presents before Christmas morning."

"I know," James replied, taking the carefully wrapped package from his pocket. He handed the small box to his mother. "This one is special. We hope you like it."

Giving them a curious look, Mrs. Potter took the box from James. She untied the ribbon and ripped open the paper, then lifted the lid off the box. For a moment, she started into the box as if dumbstruck. Then, with trembling hands, she took out the picture.

"Is this – is this --?"

"Yes," James grinned, taking Lily's hand. "That's your first picture of your grandchild."

"James . . . Lily . . ."

Lily smiled. "You have to wait until August to actually hold her, but that's the best we could do for now."

"You mean you two . . .?" Mr. Potter asked, swallowing hard.

Mrs. Potter gave a cry, and jumped from her chair. She pulled both Lily and James into hugs as tears streamed down her cheeks. As soon as she released them, Mr. Potter hugged them close. He let Lily go, and looked down at her.

"I didn't hug you too hard, did I?" he asked. "You're both all right?"

"We're fine," Lily smiled, loving saying "we" to include her baby.

Hetty flung herself at Lily. "Oh, how will we wait until August?"

Mrs. Potter laughed. "You'll be amazed by how quickly the time goes. You said 'her,' Lily – Are you having a girl? Is this my granddaughter in this picture?"

"We don't know," Lily admitted. "James and I want to be surprised. We've been using 'he' and 'she' interchangeably."

"It's better to be surprised," Mrs. Potter agreed. She smiled, and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Well, this is by far the best Christmas present I've ever received!" She held up the picture, and gently touched the baby's head. "I can hardly wait to meet you, my little one."

* * *

"I can't believe we're using the same trick twice," James said as they prepared to Disapparate.

"It was your idea," Lily replied.

James laughed. "Maybe, but you agreed to it."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Oh, let's go. We're going to be late for Dana's party."

"Yes, ma'am," James laughed.

Everyone had already arrived at Dana and Aidan's flat by the time James and Lily Apparated. Dana, Olivia and Laura were laughing together, while Sirius, Peter, Remus and Aidan were talking. James and Lily both noted that Sirius and Olivia were carefully avoiding each other's eyes.

"They still love one another, don't they?" Lily whispered.

James shook his head. "It's obvious to everyone except them."

"Oy! Prongs!"

James laughed. "Happy Christmas, Padfoot!"

Sirius crossed the room to join them, and shook James's hand. "Running a bit behind today?"

"When aren't we?" Lily smiled.

Sirius kissed her cheek. "How are you feeling?" he asked in a low voice, knowing that they had not yet shared their news with the others.

"Fine," she replied with a smile. "James has been taking good care of me."

"Thank goodness!" Dana said as she appeared behind them in time to hear Lily's comment about James. "We were all worried about you with that flu. Liv said you looked like death!"

"Liv!" Lily laughed.

Olivia shrugged with a grin. "Well, I tell it like it is. You looked awful, Lils! But you look much better now."

"I _feel_ much better, too," Lily smiled.

"Aidan just opened a bottle of wine," Dana said. "Can I get you a glass?"

"Thanks," James smiled. "That sounds great."

Dana nodded. "Lily?"

"I'll just have water," she replied.

Dana nodded again. "We don't want to tax that stomach," she said as she went to retrieve the wine and water.

"We certainly don't," James said, putting his arm around Lily.

"Any new death-defying assignments at work, Lils?" Laura asked with a grin.

"Not recently," Lily laughed. "I think we actually scared Dorcas last time. She keeps telling us to back off."

"Well, it was scary," Laura said. "Of course, all I heard about at work was the thousand ways the Prophet could have been sued if something had happened to you girls while you were at the meeting."

Lily laughed. "If I had died, I wouldn't have been able to sue anyone."

"I think they addressed that, too," Laura grinned. "Believe me, there was a way somehow."

Dana reappeared, and handed James his wine and Lily her water. James looked down at Lily with raised eyebrows. She gave him a beaming smile and nodded, feeling her face grow warm.

"Everyone!" James called. "Can I have your attention?"

Everyone stopped and looked at James and Lily. Lily looked up at James again with a confident smile. She could hardly wait to share this news with their friends.

"Lily and I just got this picture developed, and we wanted you to see it," James said as he pulled the picture from his pocket.

"What is it?" Peter asked.

James grinned, and passed the picture to Remus. Laura stepped closer to him, trying to see the small paper over his shoulder. Remus studied the picture for a moment, his eyes growing round. A grin spread across his face.

"When do you need me to babysit?"

A shriek rang throughout the room as the others rushed forward to see the picture of James and Lily's baby. Laughing and crying, the girls hugged them both. Remus hugged James, then Lily.

"How do you feel?" he asked, looking at her with the eyes that should have belonged to a Healer.

"Fine," she answered honestly. "I was sick at first, but I've been taking a potion to make me healthier."

"Good," he replied. He kissed her cheek. "Congratulations. You're going to be a brilliant mother."

"I hope so," she smiled.

"I _know_ so," Remus replied confidently.

He stepped aside as Dana flung herself at Lily again. Looking to his right, he noticed Sirius watching the excited congratulations with a smile.

"You knew, didn't you?" he asked quietly.

Sirius turned to him, his smile dimming slightly. "Yeah, I knew."

Remus nodded silently.

"Look, Moony, it's nothing personal," he said. "I just happened to visit them the day they found out. Of course, they were excited, and they had to tell me – not because I was _me_, but because I was _there_. They wanted you to know first today. James gave _you_ that picture, didn't he?"

Remus nodded again. "They do seem happy," he said as Peter hugged James.

"I think they are," Sirius grinned. "It's going to be fun to have a baby in the group, isn't it?"

Remus shifted his attention from the conversation between Peter and Lily to Laura, who was talking excitedly with Olivia. "Yes," he agreed, still watching his wife, "yes, it's definitely going to be fun."

* * *

Laura waved her wand to illuminate the dark sitting room of her house, and turned to Remus with a smile.

"Can you believe Lily's pregnant?"

Remus grinned as he hung up his cloak. "It's brilliant. She and James are going to have so much fun with that baby."

Laura smiled, and came up behind him with her own cloak in hand. "They're really excited, aren't they?"

"Wouldn't you be?" Remus asked, taking her cloak from her and hanging it beside his.

Laura's smile faded somewhat. "Yes," she said softly. "I would be incredibly excited."

Remus turned to face her, and tipped her chin up so he could look into her eyes. "You want a baby, too, don't you?"

"Remus . . ."

"No, Laura, tell me the truth. The waiting is killing you, isn't it?"

"Remus, we've only been married a couple months. Lily and James have been married nearly a year. I think it's a bit early to get impatient, isn't it?"

He shook his head, and kissed her. "I don't want to wait anymore."

"What?" she asked in shock. "But what about everything you said about the Healers and it not being safe and --?"

He silenced her with another kiss. When he finally broke it, he smiled at her.

"I'm going to make an appointment with the specialists tomorrow. I mean, it takes about a month to get in to see them, so I won't have clearance right away, but it's a start."

"But you said you wanted to have a job . . ."

"I have a job."

Laura gave him a reproachful look. "Being the 'house-husband' does not qualify, love, and you know it. If I stay home with the baby, who's going to go to work?"

"Who said you have to stay home with the baby?"

"What?"

"Laura, look. You love your job. You have so much ambition, and you want to move up in the Ministry. You're already well on your way to becoming a prosecutor. But . . ." He shrugged, and smiled helplessly. "I don't have the kind of drive to work. Or, more accurately, the rest of our world doesn't want me to have a stable career – at least not one that will support a family. I can stay home with the baby, and you can go back to work."

Laura's eyes widened. "What?"

"You don't like that idea?"

"It's not that I don't trust you with the baby," she said. "It's just so different, so not what people do! The mother always stays home with the baby."

Remus smiled. "Who says we have to be like everyone else?"

"You've really thought about this, haven't you? You really want to do this?"

"I really do. Do you?"

Laura smiled, and bit her lower lip. "I really do, too."

Remus grinned. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she smiled, leaning up to kiss him again. "When can we get started on our baby?"

Remus laughed, and pulled her even closer. "I still haven't talked to the Healers, so we can't start on the baby yet . . . but we can still practice tonight."

Laura laughed, and kissed him again. "I definitely think practicing is a good idea."

* * *

"So he really hired Snape?" Sirius asked in a low voice, nodding in Dumbledore's direction.

James nodded. At the Order New Year's Eve party, he had finally found the opportunity to tell Sirius about his newest coworker. "Shocked doesn't even begin to describe how I feel," he said, taking a sip of his drink. "You should have seen my face when Snivelly walked into the room!"

Sirius laughed. "You'll have to give him hell, you know. You can't be in that school with him without making his life miserable."

"I'm a _teacher_ now, Sirius," James laughed.

"That just means you'll have to be more covert," Sirius replied, giving him a wink. "Come on, Prongs! I know there's still plenty of marauding left in you!"

James opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off by a loud call from Frank Longbottom.

"Could everyone make sure they have a drink?" he called. "I'd like to make a toast!"

Lily made her way over to James and Sirius, and took a place between them. "Do you guys know what's going on?"

"No," James replied.

"Got me," Sirius said. He eyed the glass in Lily's hands suspiciously. "What are you drinking?"

"Cider," she replied defensively. "And Remus got it for me, so stop assuming that someone is trying to slip me alcohol."

"Did I say that?"

"You didn't need to. I know what kinds of things go through your mind, Black."

Sirius laughed. "If that were true, you'd be in a scary place, Little Flower."

"Does everyone have a drink?"

A hush fell over the group as all eyes turned to Frank. He held out his hand for Alice, pulling her to the center of the room with him.

"As you know, Alice and I have been focused on our careers as Aurors for quite some time now," he said. "We have dedicated our lives to ensuring the safety of our world, and to fighting Voldemort. But, our lives are about to change."

"They aren't quitting?" Sirius muttered, the color draining from his face. "We need them on our side! They're two of the best Aurors the Ministry has!"

"Shhh," Lily cautioned.

"Alice and I recently received some news that we have been waiting for for a long, long time," he continued, a grin lighting up his face. "I'm not sure that everyone will be excited, given the current events of our world, but I hope you can all be happy for us as we look forward to the birth of our first baby this summer."

A cry of joy went up around them as everyone rushed forward to congratulate the couple. Sirius looked at Lily and James with a smile.

"They've wanted a baby forever," he said. "They've been married for years, and they've spent so much time working . . ." His smile faded as his voice trailed off. "I'll bet Moody's not too happy about this. He didn't even like the idea that they were _married_." He shook his head. "So, are you two going to announce your happy news now?"

James looked at Lily, and they both shook their heads.

"Let's let them have their moment," James said. "They've waited for it far longer than we have."

* * *

After the party, when they had come home to change the calendar to 1980, Lily took out a sheet of paper and a pen. James looked at her curiously as she sat down at her desk, shoving her parchment and quills aside.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

Lily smiled at him. "Completing my first New Year's resolution."

She thought for several moments, then began to write.

"_Dear Petunia,_

"_I know it's been a long time since our last communication – too long. I respect all that you said in your last letter, and all that you feel. Even so, you must understand that I cannot apologize for being the person I am, or for living the life I live. But, I wish that things could be different between us, especially now._

"_I just found out that I'm pregnant! I know we're young, but James and I are very excited. The baby will be born on August 4, and Petunia, I want you to be there with me. You are my baby's aunt, and I want you to be a part of his or her life. I want my baby to know my family – you and Vernon._

"_I know that things have been wrong between us for a long time, but I'm ready to make them right. Please help me fix our relationship, Petunia. If not for me or for you, do it for our children. They deserve to know one another. They deserve to know their mothers' family._

"_I hope to hear from you soon. You and Vernon will always be in my thoughts and prayers._

"_Love,_

"_Lily."_

She read the letter twice, then carefully folded it into an envelope. She sealed and stamped it, and put it on her desk. She would mail it as soon as the post office opened. She wasn't sure why, but she felt an odd desire – no, _need_ – to reconnect with her sister. Something told her that it was imperative that she fix this rift with Petunia before it was too late.


	28. Nothing Changes

A/N: Sorry this one took so long – I had the hardest time writing it for some reason. It was fun once I got going, but it was impossible to start. I hadn't actually planned it in the beginning, but I wanted something to join the last chapter and the next one better. Enjoy!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Nothing Changes

"I can't believe you," Petunia muttered.

She read the letter through for the fourth time, trying to get her mind around what was happening. She had received this letter from the most unlikely of people. How could this have happened? She had asked for space, and for an end to their relationship. She didn't want to continue this pointless contact. Thing could not be like they were before – not now, and not ever.

She looked at the letter again without actually seeing it. Her sister's neat, precise script represented words that she was sure would have been screamed had they been spoken. There was something about Lily's letter that had a desperate tone to it. What could have happened to make Lily, her powerful, fearless sister so scared?

"Petunia? Where are you?"

"In here," Petunia called from the kitchen, where the mail was scattered across the table.

"Hello," Vernon said as he came into the sunlit room. He kissed her cheek. "What's that you're reading?"

"A letter."

"Yes, I can see that," Vernon chuckled. "Who is it from?"

"Lily."

Vernon's eyes widened in surprise. "Your sister?"

"Yes."

"What does she want? Money?"

"No," Petunia said quickly. "She wanted to let me know that she's pregnant."

"Pregnant? Their kind can have children?"

"Yes, of course," Petunia replied.

"But the baby will be like them?"

"I'm sure. They're too powerful not to have a – a child like them."

Vernon shook his head. "We'd better keep our baby away from them." He reached down to touch Petunia's expanded midsection. "We don't want him or her to have to deal with that. God only knows what this little cousin would do to our baby."

Petunia nodded, but remained silent.

Vernon looked at her with narrowed eyes. "You're not thinking of writing her back, are you? You've always said . . . Well, we've always acted as though she doesn't exist."

"I know," Petunia said. She thought for a moment, then put Lily's letter down on the table. "No, I'm not going to write her back. It's because of her and that awful husband of hers that I don't have parents. It's because of them that our baby won't have grandparents."

Vernon nodded. "Too right it is." He picked up the mail, and began leafing through it.

Petunia rose to her feet, and picked the letter up again. "I'm going to go lie down for a minute before dinner."

"Rest well," Vernon said, his eyes never leaving the bills in front of him.

Petunia walked out of the kitchen, and up to her bedroom. She closed the door behind her, and leaned against it for a moment. With trembling hands, she raised Lily's letter to eye level again.

"You killed them," she said to the paper as if it were Lily herself. "You killed our parents, and you spent your entire life being a reminder to them of everything they were not – of everything they never could be. I will not let you and your family hurt Vernon and my baby the way you've hurt me. No, Lily, I will not help you make this relationship 'right.' As far as I'm concerned, it's fine the way it is."

She nodded to herself in satisfaction. Even so, she did not throw the letter away. She folded it into a tiny square, and put it in her jewelry box.

* * *

"Welcome back!"

James smiled as Dumbledore stood to address the teachers. He was seated between Professors Flitwick and Turner, who were both watching Dumbledore attentively. Even though the entire staff's attention was trained on the Headmaster, he felt as though someone was watching him. He turned quickly, and saw Snape sitting behind him.

Irritated, he turned back to face Dumbledore. How could the Headmaster have appointed Snape of all people as a professor? For some reason, it made James's own position seem cheaper, like it wasn't worth as much. If he was willing to hire people like _Snape_, people who were practically known Death Eaters, what did that say for his opinion of his staff? James didn't have a chance to dwell on this further; Dumbledore was continuing with his speech.

"I'm glad to see that you all made it through the holidays successfully, and have returned to Hogwarts in fine form. Our students will be doing the same in just a few hours. As usual, we will be running this as any other day. Dinner will be served at the usual times, and classes will resume tomorrow. Your revised syllabi for the second term, as well as your lesson plans for both this week and the next, will be due by Friday.

"Before I leave you to the work that I'm sure you have waiting for you, I would like to again welcome Professor Snape to our staff. He brings great expertise in the area of Potions, and I am certain that he will contribute greatly to our students' success."

James refrained from laughing, realizing that the Headmaster was serious. Dumbledore honestly thought that Snape would be a good teacher. James pitied the students that would be in his Potions classes. With a jolt, he realized that those students would include his own child. Unless Snape left or lost his job in the next eleven years, the newest Potter would be learning Potions from him.

"No," he muttered.

Flitwick and Turner looked at him in surprise.

"Professor Potter?" Dumbledore asked.

"Sorry," James said quickly. "Too many thoughts running through my head at the same time, I suppose."

The Headmaster smiled. "I'm sure we can all understand that. And on that note, I will let you all get back to work. Good luck, and enjoy your classes tomorrow."

James was relieved to stand up. He could hardly wait to leave the meeting, and to put as much distance between himself and Snivellus as possible. He was extremely thankful that the Potions class was in the dungeons, far from his third-floor classroom.

"Potter!"

Inwardly groaning, James stopped at the sound of Professor McGonagall's voice. He turned to face her, giving her the same smile that he had used in attempts to get himself out of trouble during his schooldays.

"We need to talk."

James sighed. That smile had never once worked on her. "Yes, Professor?"

She took his arm, and led him to a secluded corner of the staffroom. "Potter, I know you're not happy about having Snape here working with us, but you're going to have to get over it."

James's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Professor?"

"Do you think that my memory is so short that I don't remember the feud that raged between you and Snape during your time here as a student? James, I had you in detention more times than any other student in my career, save Sirius Black, and the majority of those detentions were for dueling with Severus Snape. I'm sure that seven years of battle and dislike can't be forgotten easily."

"It wasn't just dislike, Professor," James said, his eyes skipping over to where Snape was disappearing through the doorway. "I hate Severus Snape, and all that he stands for. I may have just begun teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts, but I've believed in it all my life. I despise the Dark Arts, and I have always done everything I can to fight them. Snape, on the other hand, embraces them. He has always been obsessed with the Dark Arts. When he started here as a first year, he knew more curses than half his seventh year Housemates." He paused. "You do realize that he's a Death Eater, don't you?"

"Potter, I will be completely honest with you," McGonagall said wearily. "I don't like having him teach here any more than you do. But it was Dumbledore's decision to offer him the Potions position, and we must respect that. The Headmaster believes in second chances, and in giving everyone the chance to prove him or herself. And he may be right; the day may come when we are thankful we have Snape on our side."

"But he isn't on our side."

"He may come around." She gave James a severe look. "You must treat him with respect, and as your equal. Remember, it's because of Dumbledore's second chances that you became Head Boy, and had the chance to prove to us that you deserved your own teaching position."

"There's a difference there, Professor. I was never a threat to the student body."

"Be respectful, James." She paused, and shadows of amusement danced in the back of her eyes. "Don't make me give you detention for hexing a staff member in the corridors."

James grinned in spite of himself. "All right, Professor. I'll behave – but only for you and Professor Dumbledore."

"I suppose I'll have to accept that for now."

* * *

James went to dinner that night with the other professors. He had told Lily in advance that he wanted to eat at school the first night back, to prove to the students that he was still there. He took his usual seat between Professors Flitwick and Turner, who quickly included him in their conversation.

"Well, James, I suppose you'll be the second to know, now that you're here," Professor Turner said.

"The second to know what?"

"I'm retiring at the end of the year."

James's eyes widened. "Are you seriously? I know you had mentioned it before . . ."

She nodded. "It's time for me to allow someone else to teach the art of Divination. I've had enough."

Professor Flitwick sighed. "I don't know where Dumbledore is going to find someone to replace you!"

She smiled. "Oh, there are plenty of Seers out there – and I know that the one he will find has talent."

"You've already met your replacement?" James asked.

"No, and neither has the Headmaster. But she is a talented woman – her personality is odd, but she does indeed have the Gift."

James nodded, trying not to laugh. "Well, that would make her qualified."

Professor Turner sighed. "It's exciting to be preparing for this new adventure, but sad at the same time. I believe I'll go prepare my lessons for tomorrow now."

James watched her go, and shook his head. "She's a little off, isn't she?"

"All Seers are," Flitwick sighed. "It's in their nature. I do wish Dumbledore luck finding a replacement for her, though. Most Seers find their calling to be working somewhere other than a school. He was very lucky to find Professor Turner to begin with."

"Very lucky indeed," James said, remembering all the Divination lessons he had nearly slept through. He hoped the next teacher would be slightly more exciting.

Snape entered the Great Hall. James glanced up and down the staff table, wanting to see the other teachers' reactions to their new colleague.

"You're not happy about working with him, are you?" Flitwick asked.

"Not particularly," James replied.

"That is one of the benefits of teaching," Flitwick smiled. "You can go into your room and close your door. If your colleagues bother you, you really never have to see them!"

James laughed in spite of himself. Flitwick had a good point.

"I need to go, James. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

James nodded. "Good night, Professor."

As soon as Flitwick left, James realized with a sinking feeling that he had open chairs on either side of him. It was time to leave the Great Hall before Snape decided to sit down next to him.

He walked away from the staff table in the same path Snape was taking toward it. Snape gave him a scowl.

"Watch where you're going, Potter," he sneered. "Wouldn't want to have a collision, would you? I don't believe the Defense professor is allowed to hex his coworkers."

James glared. "Actually, since I do teach Defense Against the Dark Arts, I believe I would be well within my rights to hex you. I am teaching my students to defend themselves against dark wizards. I think that a live demonstration would be most beneficial to their learning."

Snape's hand twitched as though he wanted to grab his wand. "Careful, Potter."

"Or what? You can't do any more to me than I can do to you." Knowing that McGonagall was watching him, James grinned. "I'll see you tomorrow morning, _Snivellus_."

He walked away, knowing very well that he had left Snape fuming behind him. He made it all the way to his classroom before he began laughing.

* * *

"James!"

James picked up the mirror he had left on his desk. "Hey, Sirius."

"What are you doing?"

"Lesson plans."

"Well, leave them. You, Remus, Peter and I are meeting at the Three Broomsticks."

"Why are we going to Hogsmeade?"

"We need a guys' night out." Sirius grinned. "Come on, now, you can't tell me that you don't need a drink after your first day working with Snivellus."

James laughed. "Well, you got me there. He's the same as he always was."

"Did you expect him to change?"

"No, I suppose not."

Sirius grinned. "Just hex him to death. I know you're good at that."

James laughed again. "I'd like to keep my job, thank you very much."

"Well, at least come out for a drink, then."

"All right. I need to talk to Lily, though."

"Oh, fine, tell your wife where you're going."

James laughed. "What time are we meeting?"

"Is 7:30 all right with you?"

"Sure."

"Great! See you there!"

James shook his head, and grabbed his Floo powder. He hoped that Lily wouldn't be upset about this.

Lily looked up in surprise as he stepped out of the fireplace. She was stretched out across the couch, looking completely relaxed.

"You didn't Apparate," she said, stating the obvious.

"No, I came straight from my office. You can't –"

"Apparate or Disapparate within the castle, I know," Lily interrupted. "I'm glad you're home so early."

He smiled, and leaned down to kiss her. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

He put his hand on her stomach, which was still flat and trim, hiding her condition from the world. "How's the baby?"

"Fine. He hasn't complained to me, at any rate."

James smiled, and sat down with her on the couch.

"You're not telling me something," Lily said, pulling herself into a sitting position. "What's going on? Did something happen?"

James laughed. "No, nothing major. I'm just not sure how you're going to take this."

"Well, tell me, and we'll both find out."

"I'm going out with the guys tonight."

Lily's face immediately relaxed, and she laid back down. "Is that all? Honestly, James, you practically scared me to death!"

"You're not angry?"

"Why would I be?"

"I don't know," James shrugged. "You always hear stories of guys begging their wives for permission to go out with their guy friends, and we haven't had a guys' night out since you and I were married, so I wasn't sure how you'd take it."

Lily looked at him as if he had grown a second head. "James, if you want to go out with your friends, I'm fine with that. Just don't get completely drunk, and then come back here and throw up all over me."

He laughed. "Believe me, that wasn't in my plans."

"Good." She smiled. "Have fun."

"Thanks," James grinned. He kissed her again. "I won't be too late."

"Yeah, well, I won't wait up."

Laughing, James Disapparated.

* * *

He, Sirius, Remus and Peter arrived at the Three Broomsticks at the same time. Sirius grinned at the sight of them all.

"It's been far too long since we've done something like this," he said. "Did our married men have any trouble getting out for the evening?"

James laughed. "Lily was appalled that I was afraid to ask her."

"Laura told me to warn her next time so she could organize a girls' night," Remus said.

Sirius looked at Peter with a grin. "We're lucky we don't have such issues leaving home."

Peter laughed. "Well, my mum _did_ tell me not to be out too late."

"We need to get you out of that house, Peter," Sirius sighed. "Come on, guys. Let's go inside."

They made their way into the Three Broomsticks, and took seats at the bar. Madam Rosmerta's eyebrows shot up at the sight of them.

"Well, if it isn't my four favorite customers!" she said as she came over. "I had started to think that you had forgotten about this place!"

"We could never forget you," Sirius grinned, giving her a wink.

She shook her head. "You are a hopeless flirt, Black. But you do amuse me. What will you gentlemen be drinking tonight?"

"We're going to start with shots of firewhiskey," Sirius said promptly.

"Coming right up."

Remus looked at Sirius with raised eyebrows. "Shots of firewhiskey?"

"What? I know you've done them before."

"Yeah, but it was usually for a reason . . . you know, to celebrate, or to drown our sorrows."

"Yeah, I know."

"So? What's the occasion tonight?"

"There's always something to celebrate," Sirius said as Madam Rosmerta returned with four shot glasses and a bottle of alcohol.

"Here you are gentlemen," she said, pouring their drinks. "Now, if you need refills and you can't find me, talk to Rebecca. She'll take care of you."

She pointed across the bar, indicating the young girl who was serving a group of boys and girls who had clearly sneaked out of Hogwarts for the evening. James frowned slightly.

"Those are seventh years," he muttered. "I should say something to them."

"Prongs, come on," Peter laughed. "Think of the number of times we did stuff like that! Don't ruin their fun!"

"Or mine," Sirius muttered.

"Your fun? You're completely legal to be here," James said.

"That Rebecca is cute, don't you think?"

James looked away from the students to the barmaid. She was pretty, with dark curly hair and laughing eyes. He looked back at Sirius, who was still staring at her.

"Why don't you just go talk to her?"

"I think I'll wait until she's done with your students," he grinned. "No sense drawing attention to you. It'll just give them all heart attacks."

"We really need to find another place to hang out," James sighed.

Sirius grinned. "Moony, you had asked what we are celebrating tonight. Well, let's toast to new beginnings, then! I think we're all ready to start something new. Personally, I'm ready to find someone to help me get over Olivia. Peter is clearly ready to move out of Mummy's house. James is nearly a dad. And Remus . . . ?"

Remus grinned. "I guess I can tell you. Laura and I are going to try for a baby."

James grinned. "Really? Remus, that's great! Our kids can be friends!"

"They can be troublemakers together," Sirius grinned. "I was concerned that little Potter would have to break the rules all alone. You know the Longbottoms' kid won't help him with that."

Remus grinned. "Yeah, our kids are going to get along great."

"Is Laura pregnant?" Peter asked.

"Not yet," Remus replied. "But we're working on it."

Sirius laughed. "I've always said you were a beast, Remus. I'm sure Laura will be knocked up in no time." He grinned. "And if not . . . at least we'll all know you're having fun!"

Remus laughed, flushing slightly. "You have such a way of putting things, Sirius."

Sirius grinned. "If you want pretty words, listen to James. I just tell it like it is." He turned to Peter. "And I was serious about you moving out of your mum's house. I think it's time."

Peter laughed. "And where exactly would I go?"

"You could live with me."

"Sirius . . ."

"No, really," Sirius said earnestly. "It hasn't been the same since Moony left. Come on, Peter! I'm lonely! Come and live with me!"

Peter smiled, realizing that his friend was serious. "Really?"

"Would I offer if I didn't mean it?"

Peter grinned. "All right, then. I'll see what I can do."

Sirius grinned, and raised his glass. "To new beginnings!"

"To new beginnings!" the others echoed.

All four threw back their shots, and put their glasses back down on the counter. Sirius glanced down the bar, looking for Rebecca.

"Well, Prongs, I think your students spotted you," he said.

"Why?" James asked, his head snapping around.

"I just saw them all run out of here. Looks like you're in the clear for another drink!"

James laughed. "I think I'm allowed to drink. _They're_ the ones who should be worried."

Rebecca made her way over to them, and cleared away their empty glasses. Sirius gave her a grin, and she smiled back.

"Can I get you guys something?"

"Just butterbeers," Remus said before Sirius had a chance to respond.

"Coming right up."

Sirius gave Remus a glare. "What did you do that for?"

"Look, Padfoot, you are obviously going to go after this girl tonight. If you want to do that successfully, it's best not to be drunk off your ass. Believe me, a sober Sirius will impress her far more than a drunken Sirius."

Sirius grinned. "I suppose I'll have to admit that you're right."

"Good. Now, I think I get automatic best man status at the wedding as thanks for keeping you sober."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I'll even make your baby a part of the action. Tell you what. I've already decided that James and Lily are having a boy, so you have a girl, and they can be the ring bearer and the flower girl."

"Yeah, I'll get right on that," Remus grinned.

They were all still laughing when Rebecca returned with foaming tankards of butterbeer. She put them down in front of then with a smile.

"I understand you guys used to be regulars here," she commented. "Madam Rosmerta just told me to take good care of you."

"Yeah, we were regulars in our younger days," Sirius replied. "But I don't ever remember seeing you here. Are you new to the area? You didn't go to Hogwarts, did you?"

"No, I went to Beauxbatons," she said. "My mother is French; I grew up in France."

"Your English is fantastic," Sirius said. It was true; Rebecca spoke with only the slightest accent.

"My father is British," she replied. "My parents lived here until I was born, then we all moved to France. My mother died three months ago, and my father and I moved back here together."

"So you haven't been here very long, then?"

"No, not at all."

Sirius grinned. "Well, if you need someone to show you around, I'm your man."

Rebecca smiled, flushing slightly. "All right, then. Does my willing tour guide have a name?"

"Sirius Black," he replied with a grin.

Her eyes widened. "Are you related to Bellatrix Black? Well, I guess Bellatrix Lestrange, now."

Sirius could barely understand his cousin's new surname through Rebecca's perfect, thick accent as she said the French word, but knew that there was no question as to who she was thinking of.

"Yes," he said shortly. "I haven't spoken to her in years, so I can't give you any information about her."

"I didn't want any," Rebecca said. "I just knew her husband, Rodolphus, at school."

Sirius nodded, remembering Lily telling him that his cousin's husband had attended Beauxbatons. "Right. Well, I generally don't associate with my family."

Rebecca nodded, realizing that Sirius's family was a sore subject. "We weren't friends or anything, I just knew who he was."

Sirius nodded. "So, when are you free? Does Rosie give you time off?"

"How about Saturday?" Rebecca asked.

"Perfect," Sirius replied, giving her the smile that had made half the girls at Hogwarts fall in love with him. "I can hardly wait to give you the insider tour."

"Neither can I."

* * *

_BANG._

Lily looked up from her desk in shock as her door was thrown open, colliding with the wall. "Olivia!"

Olivia walked fully into Lily's office, slamming the door behind her so hard that the wall shook. "What the bloody hell does he think he's playing at?"

"Who?"

"Sirius! Who else?"

Lily frowned. "Not to be stupid, Liv, but what are you talking about?"

"Please! You can't tell me that James didn't tell you about Sirius and his new _girlfriend_!" She spat the last word with such venom that Lily nearly jumped.

"Are you talking about Rebecca?"

"Oh, so that's her name?"

"Yes." Lily sighed, and ran her hands over her face. "Sit down, Liv."

Olivia glared at her, and sat down. "How long have you known?"

"I haven't had very long to know. They just met this past week. How did you find out?"

"How could I not? Sirius was talking to the other guys at the Academy about her. Apparently, they spent all day Saturday together, and are going out this weekend." She glared at Lily again. "And you, wife of his best friend, are going to tell me every last detail about the little whore."

"I don't really know much to tell you, Liv."

"You must know _something_. You can't make me believe that Sirius hasn't told James anything about her."

"Even if he has –"

"James has told you everything. I know you two. You can't _not_ share things. It's how your relationship works."

Lily sighed again. "Her name is Rebecca Malone. She's eighteen years old. She grew up in France, and went to Beauxbatons. Her mother was French, and died three months ago. Her British father brought her back here after her mother's death. According to Sirius – and to James, who met her for all of fifteen minutes – she's a sweet girl. I haven't met her myself, so I can't give you any firsthand information."

"Is she pretty?"

"I have no idea. I told you, I've never met her."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Lils, come on. What did James and Sirius say?"

Lily screwed up her face. "James said she's cute."

Olivia exhaled. "That bloody _bastard_! How can he leave me for her?"

"Liv, you broke up with him," Lily said gently. "You set him free. What did you expect him to do?"

"Come back!" Olivia yelled. "He was supposed to realize how much he loved me and that he can't live without me, and come running back to me with an engagement ring to rival yours!"

Lily smiled sadly. "I'm sure he still loves you, Liv."

"Then how can he be with her?" Her eyes widened. "Is he shagging her?"

Lily's face registered her surprise at the question. "He hardly tells me things like that."

"But he must have told James?"

"If he did, James hasn't told me. I don't know."

Olivia's eyes narrowed. "I'm going to get him back for this, Lils. He's going to regret ever _looking_ at this girl."

"What exactly are you planning to do?"

"I'm going to find myself a new man!"

* * *

"Remus Lupin?"

Remus stood to his feet, and followed the nurse back toward the examining rooms. He could feel others' eyes on him as he walked across the waiting room. He wondered if he looked as nervous as he felt. He hoped not. He liked to think that he had gotten fairly good at hiding his emotions over the years.

The nurse showed him into a room, and began taking his temperature and blood pressure. "You're just here for a consultation today, right?"

"That's right," Remus agreed as the woman made notes on his chart.

"How have your transformations been?"

"Fine."

"No problems at all?"

"No." Remus knew what the innocent question was really asking: Had he bitten anyone? As much as he knew they question was necessary, he hated and resented it. They always acted as though he had no control over himself. Then again . . . During the full moon, he didn't.

"Good." She finished her preliminary work, and gave him a smile. "The Healer should be with you shortly."

"Thank you."

The woman smiled again, and left the room, closing the door behind her.

Remus almost wished that she would come back. He hated waiting alone to see the Healer. It made him even more nervous. Maybe he should have given in to Laura's offer to skip a day of work to come with him. No, it was better this way. Good or bad, he wanted to be able to give his wife the news himself. He didn't want her to have to hear it from a Healer that she had never met.

A knock sounded on the door, and it was pushed open. Healer Jones, the man Remus had been dealing with since he had received the bite that had turned his life upside down at the age of six, walked in with a smile.

"Remus, it's good to see you," he said, reaching out to shake Remus's hand. "How have you been?"

"Fine," Remus smiled. Of all the people he dealt with at St. Mungo's, Healer Jones was the one person that he trusted and respected. He was the one person who treated Remus like a man, rather than a monster. "How are you?"

Healer Jones smiled. "Well, that's unusual. No one usually asks me how _I_ am. I'm fine, thanks."

Remus grinned. "You don't usually see people who are happy."

"That's true enough. So, what brings you in today?" The Healer took a seat, and looked at Remus, his eyes already taking in quite a bit about his condition and state of mind.

"Well, I had a few questions for you."

"Go right ahead."

Remus took a deep breath. "Well, I know that Laura and I have only been married for a few months, but we've started talking about children." He smiled faintly. "We really want to try to have one of our own, but I was concerned . . ."

The Healer nodded. "You were right to come to us first. You're a cautious man, Remus, and one who is very responsible about his condition."

"Is that no, then?" Disappointment flooded his being. He hadn't realized exactly how much he had wanted a child of his own until it was taken away from him.

"No, it's not a no," Healer Jones replied. "It's a 'you have to be careful.'"

Remus's hopes surged back up. "Really? Careful how, exactly?"

"Well, to be perfectly honest, we're not sure if you can pass your condition to your child through genetics. All our research suggests that it's not hereditary, but it's a chance that we're not willing to take."

Remus frowned. "Sir, you've been studying this for decades. Forgive me, but how can you be unsure?"

Healer Jones smiled. "Remus, you are one of the few werewolves I know who is married. You are one of the few who even became close enough to a member of the opposite sex for children to be a concern at all. We aren't sure because we simply haven't had enough couples to study to find reliable results."

Remus exhaled. "So, what are you telling me? Can Laura and I have children or not?"

The Healer nodded, and stood. He moved to a cabinet, and began rummaging through it, searching for a particular potion. "You can. But you have to take this potion before . . . shall we say, the conception. It will ensure that your child will not inherit your condition, should it be passed genetically."

"And if it cannot be passed genetically?"

"The potion will not hurt the baby, if that's what you're asking."

"That's what I was asking."

"Just be sure that you take it once a week until your wife conceives."

"The affects will last a week?"

The Healer grinned. "Yes, the affects will last a week. You can . . . try to get pregnant as many times as you want to in that week."

Remus grinned, flushing slightly. "Thanks, Healer Jones."

"You're welcome." A frown creased his brow. "When your wife does become pregnant, please bring her in for a check up with me."

"I thought you said there was no risk with this potion."

"There isn't. But, as I also said, couples such the two of you are rare. I'd like to examine her, if she'll consent."

Remus nodded. "I'll talk to her."

* * *

Laura wasn't home when he got there. He smiled. This was perfect. He'd have plenty of time to get ready.

Over an hour later, a soft pop sounded as Laura appeared in the house. She looked around the silent living room in confusion. Certainly Remus would be home from St. Mungo's by this time.

"Remus?" she called.

"Upstairs!" he called.

Laura began to climb the steps. "Did you talk to the Healers?" she called as she walked. "Did they give you a definitive answer, or do they need to run tests?"

"No, I talked to them."

"What did they say? Where are you?"

"In the bedroom."

Laura changed directions, and pushed open the door to their bedroom. She gasped, her hand still on the doorknob.

"Remus!" she gasped. "What is all this?"

Remus grinned as her eyes took in the dozens of candles, and the rose petals he had strewn across the bedspread. She looked up at him in shock.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it!" she replied. "But why did you do this?"

"Well," he said slowly, crossing to pull her close, "I thought that in light of the news I got today, you might want to start on our baby immediately."

Laura's face lit up as a beaming smile spread across it. "You mean --?"

"They said it's fine. I just have to take a potion to make sure I don't pass on any . . . genetic defects. But I took it an hour ago, and we are clear to make a baby."

Laura stood up on tiptoe to press her lips against his. "I love you."

Remus grinned, and kissed her back. "I love you, too."

* * *

Much later, Laura rolled over in bed, and trailed her hand along Remus's chest. He smiled at her.

"Remus, how soon will we know?"

"Know what?"

"If I'm pregnant."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "You're the woman in this relationship. You tell me."

"You're the one who studied Healing Arts," she countered. "You tell me."

He smiled. "I can't do a pregnancy detecting spell for at least a week."

She sighed. "We have to wait that long?"

"Sorry. There's no rushing science."

She grinned, and rolled on top of him, kissing him. "Well, if we're going to wait a week, we might as well make sure the outcome is the one we want."


	29. Shock and Horror

A/N: I'm sorry everyone, but we've hit the end of my winter break. I'm leaving to return to Spain this weekend. I will try to update while I'm there, but no promises! Also, if I usually review your story, don't be surprised if you don't hear from me for awhile. I will be back in March, though, so my next update will be on or before 21 March. I'm really sorry about this – especially after the way this chapter ends. It's not _exactly_ a cliffhanger . . .

Also, I'd like to ask for your help. I was recently alerted by an anonymous reviewer that my first story has been copied by an author called Sagar Meetra. Well, despite my best efforts, I can't find this author or the story. If you happen to run across it, please let me know in a review or an email. Plagiarism is one of my pet peeves, and I want to make sure that all my work remains as my own. Thank you for your help!

Thank you again for your patience, and for you interest in my story. I love you all! You're the best!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Shock and Horror

"You've done well for me, Peter."

Peter managed to keep from smiling at his master's praise. "Thank you, my Lord."

"I'm impressed with your ability to play both sides. It's something not everyone can manage." Voldemort leaned back in his chair, and rested his fingertips together under his chin. "As you know, we are currently planning Friday's attack on Hogsmeade. Have you heard it mentioned by Dumbledore or his followers?"

"No, my Lord."

"Very well. I will ask my Ministry connections if the Aurors have heard of our plans. You may go, Pettigrew."

Peter left the office silently. Once in the hall, he allowed his face to light up in a smile. He had managed to do something for the Dark Lord that he never had for his own father: to make him proud. He would have to continue his work to keep the approval of his new master. He knew his job. This attack must remain a secret. The Dark Lord trusted him – needed him – to keep his secret. He would never let him down.

* * *

"James, we need to talk."

James looked up from the essays he was correcting with concern on his face. "This doesn't sound good."

Lily smiled as she sat down next to him on the couch. "It's not bad," she said. "I'm just afraid it could start a serious debate."

"Well, let's start debating," James replied as he put down his quill. "What is our topic tonight?"

"We need a name for the baby."

James's eyebrows shot up. "You're right. That is a loaded topic."

Lily giggled. "I think we can handle it. Besides, we need to have _something_ for when your parents come for dinner tomorrow."

James rolled his eyes. "Mum needs to give it a rest. We still have over six months before the baby is born! That's plenty of time to choose a name."

"Well, we have to at least have a couple of names that we're considering. Come on, James, this is her first grandchild! I think your parents are more excited than we are!"

"That's not possible," he smiled. "How are we going to do this? We don't know if we're having a boy or a girl!"

"We'll have to pick a name for a boy and one for a girl."

"All right, then. You start."

Lily nodded, apprehension sneaking into her eyes. "If we have a girl, I'd rather like to name her for my mum."

"Brenna?" James asked.

Lily nodded again, still nervous that he wouldn't like the idea. She wanted so much to name her daughter after her mother, but if James didn't agree, they'd have to come up with a different name. "If that's all right with you?"

James smiled, and touched her cheek. "I think it's brilliant. Do you have a middle name chosen for her, too?"

She shook her head, feeling happiness flood through her. "No, not yet. Any suggestions?"

James thought for a moment, then nodded slowly. "Can we use my aunt's name? Elizabeth?"

A picture of thirteen-year-old James struggling to be strong as he returned to school following the Death Eater attack that had killed his aunt raced through Lily's head. Tears began to form in her eyes at the very thought.

"If you don't like it, we can use something else," James said quickly. "I just thought it might be appropriate, you know?"

"Of course," Lily said softly, blinking back her tears. "It's perfect. Absolutely perfect." She closed her eyes, and placed her hand over her abdomen. "Brenna Elizabeth. I love it. She's going to be a tough little girl, with namesakes like those."

James smiled, thinking of how pleased his father would be to know that they would name their daughter for his sister. "And what if we have a boy instead of a girl? Have you chosen a name for him, as well?"

"Not yet. But I picked the girl's name. You pick the boy's."

His eyes widened. "That's a pretty tall order, Lil."

"You can do it."

"Well . . ." James trailed off in thought. After several moments, he looked at her with an apologetic smile. "I have no idea. Can we get back to this later?"

Lily laughed, and kissed his cheek. "Of course. Like you said, we have six months. And now we have one name to give your parents tomorrow. I think that should placate them for awhile."

"A very little while," James replied with a grin. "But it'll buy us some time." He leaned over to kiss her lips. "But I'm sure we can find something to do with our time now."

He kissed her again, lowering her down on the couch. She shifted her position so that he could lie down with her, and giggled.

"What?" James asked.

"I don't know . . . I guess I would hate to think of my parents in this position – and we're almost parents now."

James laughed. "Well, as you are one of two children, your parents were in this position more than once. And if you want more children than little Brenna Elizabeth or . . . whatever name I pick, we're going to be in this position more than once as well."

Lily ran her fingers through his hair, and kissed his neck. "I hope we are for more reasons than just that."

James looked down at her for a moment, then kissed her again. For the time being, all thoughts of their baby were forgotten.

* * *

Lily fluttered around the house, throwing spell after spell at the dining room table. James watched her with a grin.

"You know, my mum already knows that you can cook," he commented. "There's no need to throw the perfect dinner party at this point."

Lily gave him a tolerant smile. "You are such a man. Every dinner party has to be perfect." She brushed a strand of red hair back from her face. "And as much as your mother loves me and I love her, I will always feel the need to impress her."

James frowned. "I don't see why. You're right; she does love you already."

Lily smiled again. "James, I took you away from her. You were her little boy, and now you're my husband. However much she loves me, I'll always have to live up to her expectations of me."

James shook his head. "You women are ridiculous. You know that, don't you?"

Lily giggled, and kissed his cheek. "We just love you, that's all."

"Well, I love you, too." He kissed her lips.

Two soft pops sounded, and James stepped back from Lily. He grinned as his parents appeared in the foyer, and went to join them.

"Mum! Dad!"

"Hi, James."

James hugged and kissed his mother, and shook his father's hand. Lily put down her wand, and entered the room, where she was greeted with hugs and kisses from both of James's parents.

"How are you feeling, darling?" Mrs. Potter asked, touching Lily's cheek.

"Fine," Lily replied with a smile. "James has been taking very good care of me."

"And that's no easy task," James grinned. "I can barely convince her to sit still for more than five minutes at a time!"

"You need to rest for the baby, darling," Mrs. Potter said with concern in her voice. "You haven't been doing any more dangerous assignments for the paper, have you?"

"Oh, no, not at all!" Lily replied. "When I told Dorcas about the baby, she relegated me to desk duty. Minnie has been doing all the reconnaissance work on her own recently." She made a face. "As much as I love writing, I really wish I could be out there, gathering information on my own."

Mr. Potter chuckled. "You and James truly are perfect for one another, you know. I think half the reason he never wanted to be an Auror was that he didn't want to have to follow orders about his missions."

James laughed. "Your _other_ son is the family Auror trainee, Dad."

Mr. Potter laughed. "Well, Sirius won't be in training much longer. Moody and Frank have told us that the trainees will be ready to move into full Auror status by the end of March."

"So soon?" Mrs. Potter asked, concern darkening her eyes again. "I don't like the idea of Sirius and Olivia putting their lives on the line like that."

"To be fair, they do it already," Mr. Potter said gently. "The trainees we've brought in the past few years have been shorted the 'training' part of their program. We need everyone we can get to fight." He sighed, and ran a hand over his face. "It isn't right, but it's what has to happen. And, to be completely honest, the trainees we've had move up during the war have been better trained than any I've seen in my career."

An uneasy silence fell as everyone thought of exactly how the Aurors had received that training – through difficult, firsthand experience. Lily cleared her throat, hoping to clear the mood.

"If you want to come into the dining room, dinner is ready."

Her comment worked; easy conversation began as they took their seats around the dining room table. James said grace, and they began eating the meal that Lily had prepared.

"This is delicious, dear," Mrs. Potter said, giving her a warm smile. "You have wonderful cooking abilities."

Lily smiled, and flushed. "I made this meal the Muggle way – no magic."

"Really?"

"Really. It's how I learned first, so it's what I know best."

Mrs. Potter smiled. "You'll have to teach your daughters Muggle cooking tricks."

"Of course," Lily replied, thinking of how much fun she would have with her little girls in the kitchen, teaching them how to cook.

"Which reminds me," Mrs. Potter said, looking at both Lily and James, "have you two considered baby names at all?"

"We have a name chosen for a girl," James said quickly. He had to admit that it felt good to tell his mother that much. Lily had been right to insist that they come up with a name.

"And?"

"We chose Brenna Elizabeth," Lily said softly.

"Brenna for your mother?" Mrs. Potter asked.

"Yes," Lily said, blinking back tears as she thought of how excited and proud her mother would be to know that she would be a grandmother.

"And Elizabeth for . . .?" Mrs. Potter's eyes swung to her son's face.

James nodded. "For Aunt Liz."

Mr. Potter cleared his throat, and blinked several times. "That's a beautiful name," he said with feeling. "Beautiful. Aunt Liz would be proud to know that your daughter has her name."

Mrs. Potter reached under the table to squeeze his hand. He gripped her fingers firmly, fighting for control. It had been so long since his sister had died . . . so long since he had even spoken of her. Even so, it was still painful to think of her, and to hear her name. But, somehow, it was healing to know that James's little girl – his granddaughter – would bear her name.

"Do you know for sure that you're having a girl, then?" Mrs. Potter asked.

"No," James said. "Lily chose Brenna and I chose Elizabeth for a girl. We haven't decided on a boy's name yet."

"I told James he has to come up with a first name," Lily added. "Once he does that, I might help him out with the middle name."

"You're lucky you still have almost seven months, dear," Mrs. Potter laughed. "James can deliberate forever!"

Their laughter was cut off by a buzzing sound. Mr. Potter looked surprised, and released his wife's hand to reach into his pocket. He pulled out a clear globe that looked almost like a small crystal ball. Words were running across it in purple, and it was humming softly as it vibrated.

"What is that?" Lily asked curiously, leaning across the table to see the device.

James and his mother exchanged glances. Mr. Potter looked at them all apologetically.

"It's a summoning globe," he said. "All Aurors carry them. They are used to call us to situations. See the script? It gives me my Apparation point and a brief description of what to expect."

"So you have to go, then?"

"I'm sorry, Lily," he said, his expression showing that he truly was sorry. "I didn't expect to be called for duty tonight; in fact, I'm not even an on-call Auror this weekend." He frowned slightly. "This could be a bad situation. Margaret, stay with James and Lily as long as you want, then just go home. I'll come back there instead of coming here" He gave Lily a smile. "We have to get our new mother off to bed early."

Mrs. Potter forced a smile. "You'll be careful, won't you, Harold?"

"I always am," he smiled. He kissed her gently. "I'll come back to you."

"I know," she said, kissing him again. "Good luck."

"Thank you." He pulled away from his wife, and smiled at James and Lily. "We'll try for a nice dinner next weekend, shall we?"

"I insist," Lily smiled. "I'll even let you pick the menu."

"Deal," he grinned. He stood, and walked around the table to kiss her cheek. "Thank you for a lovely evening – or what would have been a lovely evening."

"You're welcome."

He put his hand down on James's shoulder. "Take care of my two favorite girls, all right?"

"I always do."

With one last smile at them all, Mr. Potter Disapparated. Mrs. Potter sighed.

"That Ministry," she said. "They always call him away at the most inconvenient times! And poor Lily, you even did all this without magic!"

"Well, that was just the food," Lily laughed. "Getting everything on the table like this involved quite a bit of magic."

"I was afraid to come in for a bit," James added with a laugh.

Mrs. Potter shook her head with a smile. "Oh, you two."

"Lily made a fantastic dessert, too," James said. "Shall I go get it now?"

"Let's let our food settle first," Lily said. "We can wait a minute before we start it."

James nodded, and started to say something else; his words were cut off by a flash of white light. A golden phoenix feather fell in the middle of the table. They all stared at it for a moment. Mrs. Potter sighed, and picked up the parchment that accompanied the feather.

"It is a difficult situation," she said tensely. "We've been called in to assist the Aurors."

James was around the table in a flash to read the parchment bearing their instructions.

"I'm going to help Harold," Mrs. Potter said, standing up. She looked at Lily. "You take care of that baby," she said earnestly.

"Of course," Lily replied, taken aback.

"I'm serious, Lily," she said, the tension returning to her voice. "No chances, no heroics. Take care of your baby." She looked at James. "And you take care of them both."

"I will," James replied.

Mrs. Potter surprised him by pulling him into a tight hug. "I love you, James." She looked over his shoulder at Lily. "I love you, too, Lily. You and the baby."

Lily nodded, surprised by the desperation in her mother-in-law's demeanor. She normally didn't panic like this. James was obviously having the same thoughts.

"Mum, are you all right?" he asked.

"Fine," she said tensely. "I just – I have an odd feeling about this battle. But I have to go help your father."

With that, she Disapparated. James looked at Lily, then back down at the parchment.

"There's been an attack in Hogsmeade," he said.

"Just let me get my wand, and I'll be ready," Lily said. "What's the Apparation point?"

"No, Lil, you're not going."

She turned to look at him as though he had lost his mind. "What did you just say?"

"I said you can't go."

"Since when do you make statements like that?" she asked angrily. "The Aurors are in trouble! They already called your dad out on his day off, and now they're summoning us! They need all the help they can get!"

"Not your help," James said firmly. He put his hands on her shoulders. "Lily, you can't go into battle tonight. You need to take care of yourself."

"I've always taken care of myself. I'm a good fighter, James."

"I know you are. You're one of the strongest fighters I know. But I also know that in battles like the ones we fight, anything can happen. You and I have both taken Unforgivable Curses, and we've both spent time in St. Mungo's as a result of battles with Death Eaters. You can't take those chances, Lil. Not now. You need to protect the baby."

"The baby," she muttered, reaching down to touch her stomach.

"Yes, the baby," James repeated. "You stay here and take care of Brenna . . . or . . . whatever name I pick."

Lily giggled in spite of the seriousness of the situation. "You'd better get on that."

"I will," he smiled. He kissed her. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she replied. "Take care of yourself."

"I will," he promised. "You take care, too – of both of you."

"I will."

James put his wand into his back pocket, and closed his eyes to Disapparate. As she watched him, panic unlike any she had ever known filled Lily's being.

"James, wait!"

His eyes flew open. "What?"

She kissed him again, hard. When she pulled back, tears stood in her eyes.

"Hey," he said, reaching up to brush away a tear that slid down her cheek. "What's this?"

"I just want to be there to know that you're all right," she said, her voice shaking. "I love you, James."

"I'll come home to you, Lil," he promised. "I love you – both of you."

Another tear fell. "We love you, too."

He smiled, and touched her cheek, then Disapparated. Lily sank down onto her chair, and let herself cry.

"Oh, God, protect him," she whispered. "I don't think I can live without him. I need him." She put her hand over her midsection again. "_We_ need him."

* * *

"Potter, what in God's name do you think you're doing?"

James jumped at the growling yell. "Apparating as instructed," he replied.

Moody glared at him. "Get that wand out of your pocket! Are you _trying_ to maim yourself?"

Sirius grinned. "Think of the conversation starter that would be. James would be able to tell the story of how he blew off his arse at every party he went to for the rest of his life!"

"Black, you are within months of becoming an Auror! Now is _not_ the time to start taking things lightly!"

The grin instantly slid off Sirius's face. It was replaced by the emotionless Auror mask that James had known all his life. Although he had seen it on his father's face more times than he could count, it was incredibly odd to see it on the face of his best friend.

"Where's Lily?" Moody asked.

"At home," James said. "She can't fight now. The baby could be hurt."

Moody nodded. He looked as though it cost him no small effort to hold his tongue.

"How did she take that?" Sirius asked, his eyes beginning to twinkle again.

"Not well," James said, seeing in his mind the tears swimming in his wife's eyes, "for more reasons than one."

"Well, let's get to it, then," Moody growled. "We didn't come here to chit-chat. Black, you and Potter go secure the south end of High Street. Remember, send up red sparks if you need help."

Sirius nodded, his Auror mask back in place. "Let's go, James."

James nodded, and followed his best friend into danger, knowing there were very few people on earth he trusted as much as he trusted Sirius Black.

* * *

"All right," Lily muttered to herself. "Sitting her crying isn't going to help anyone. I need to calm down."

She waved her wand at the dining room table, sending dishes and leftover food into the kitchen. She followed them in, and, with a few more spells, put the food away and left the dishes washing themselves. With that accomplished, she went back into the living room, and sank down on the couch. She noticed James's essays on the coffee table, and picked on up. She smiled as she read the title.

"'Practical defense against common jinxes,'" she read aloud. Her eyes skimmed the heading. "Fourth year. That seems a bit late for this topic, with his new curriculum. I wonder . . ."

Her musings were cut short by a soft pop. She gasped, and jumped to her feet, tossing the essay aside. She looked around wildly, desperately trying to remember where she had left her wand.

"Lily?"

She frowned, trying to place the familiar voice. "Yes?"

Alice Longbottom walked into the living room. Relief instantly flooded over Lily.

"Oh, thank goodness," she sighed. "I was afraid you were . . . I don't even know who. I was just afraid."

Alice smiled. "That's why I came over. I couldn't stand being alone in my house, just waiting . . . I thought you might need some company, too."

"I know exactly how you feel," Lily said, lowering herself onto the couch again. "Please, sit down. Can I get you anything to drink?"

Alice shook her head as she sat down next to Lily. "I'm too jumpy to even consider sipping tea right now." She smiled apologetically. "This is the first time Frank has gone into battle without me. I don't know how to sit at home and wait for him. I want to be there, helping in the fight." She sighed, and touched her midsection. "I guess I'd better get used to it."

Lily smiled. "When is your due date?"

"August fifth."

"Really?" Lily exclaimed, a grin lighting up her face. "Mine is the fourth of August!"

"That's fantastic!" Alice exclaimed. "Our babies will practically share a birthday! They can bond over that long before they become dorm-mates at Hogwarts."

Lily grinned. "If you're a little early, they can share a birthday."

"Oh, no," Alice laughed. "This one is coming late, if anything. I'm going to need every day I can get to make sure I have everything ready for him."

"You know it's a boy, then?"

"Yes. Frank and I couldn't stand the wait."

Lily giggled. "Does he have a name yet?"

"No, not yet," Alice sighed. "We've been debating the past few days, but we can't seem to agree. I have a feeling one of us will have to give up on a name we love in the end."

Lily giggled again. "I can't wait for them to get to know each other."

"They're going to be great friends," Alice smiled.

"The best," Lily agreed. "Hopefully, without our penchant for throwing themselves into dangerous situations. If I'm this worried about James, I don't even want to _think_ about my baby fighting Voldemort."

"Hopefully, they won't have to," Alice said. "Hopefully, this whole war will be over by the time they're born."

"This isn't really the best time to be pregnant, is it?" Lily asked softly.

"There never is a good time," Alice replied, her eyes taking on a far-away look. "Something is always happening. When Frank and I were first married, we had just become Aurors. You can't have a baby when you're just starting your career, can you? So we agreed to wait until we were established. Then, when we first started talking about trying to have a baby, Voldemort surfaced. The entire Auror department was thrown into chaos. We knew we couldn't start a family then. We didn't even discuss it; we just dropped the topic."

She smiled sadly, and continued. "Then, about five years ago, we realized that Voldemort wasn't going away in the foreseeable future. But part of what he's doing to take over our world is to force us to stop living our lives. Frank and I are Aurors and Order members. We can see his game plan better than anyone. We decided that we weren't going to let him stop us from having the life had always wanted. So, we started trying for a baby." Her smile faded. "For five years, we couldn't get pregnant. _Five years_. Can you even imagine? We went to Healers, to specialists . . . I thought it was hopeless. We had given up when I realized that I was pregnant."

She smiled again, and leaned forward, taking Lily's hand in hers. "No, Lily, this isn't the best time to be pregnant. But after five years of thinking this was impossible, I don't care about finding a good time anymore. I wouldn't trade the chance to have a baby for anything. After all these years of waiting, trying, hoping, and crying, I will never take my little boy for granted."

* * *

"James, to your left!"

Without thinking, James swung left. "_Stupefy_!"

The sound of a thud told him that his stunner had hit its target. He turned back around just in time to duck a jet of red light.

"_Stupefy_!" he yelled again.

"_Impedimenta_!"

"_Protego_!"

"_Reducto_!"

James screwed up his face at the sound of breaking bones as the Death Eater's legs snapped. He looked at Sirius, who shrugged.

"Moody has me trained to do worse. And it was effective, wasn't it?"

"I've used it before," James admitted. "We've all done worse. But that doesn't mean that I like it."

"This is war, James. That's what it's all about. None of us _like_ what we're doing – but we do it."

A crash split the air as the window behind them shattered. Both young men jumped out of the way of the flying glass, and spun around, their wands held steadily in front of them.

To their surprise, no one came charging into the store they had been trying to secure. James glanced at Sirius with raised eyebrows.

"They're trying to bait us out," Sirius said. "They want us to come outside."

"We have to go," James replied. "We're not doing anyone any good staying in here."

"I know that. But we have to be smart about this. There could be hundreds of them out there."

James raised an eyebrow. "Hundreds?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "All right, dozens. Is that better?"

"Yes."

"My point is, we can't just go running out there. We need to go slowly, to make sure we're prepared to battle whatever we have to."

"I never thought I'd see the day that you planned ahead for anything, let alone battle."

"Blame Moody," Sirius grinned. He gripped his wand. "All right, I'll go first. Cover me."

"Are you sure you want to go first?"

"You have a family, James," Sirius replied. "You have Lily and your baby to think about. I just have me. Yeah, I want to go first."

Without even leaving James time to reply, Sirius kicked down the door and stepped out into the darkness.

* * *

"Your move."

Lily looked up from the chess board with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, Alice. I just can't seem to concentrate."

"You have to," Alice replied simply. "You need to take your mind away from what's happening in Hogsmeade."

"How can I think of anything else when James is in danger? How can you be so calm about Frank being there?"

Alice ran her hands over her eyes. "James is a good fighter, Lily. He'll be fine. He and Frank will come home to us in no time."

Lily sighed. "It's different for you, Alice. Frank is an Auror. No, not just an Auror. He's one of the best Aurors the Ministry has. You know that he can take care of himself."

Alice looked away for a moment, and wrapped her arms around herself. "I know that Frank is one of the best fighters we have on our side. And I know that he will do his best to come home to me. I also know that some fantastic fighters have fallen to Voldemort." She shivered slightly. "Frank and James have the Aurors and the Order on their side, Lily. I know they'll all take care of one another to the best of their ability."

Lily nodded slowly. Yes. James did have some incredible allies. She knew that Sirius and Olivia were there, fighting as Aurors with all they had in them. She knew that Laura, Remus and Peter were there, fighting with the Order. Their friends would protect James. She also knew that his parents were there, and that they would give their lives to protect their son – the same way she would give her life to protect her own child.

* * *

"_Avada Kedavra_!"

James slammed his body flat on the ground as the Killing Curse flashed over his head. It continued on, striking a Death Eater. Without a sound, the victim fell to the ground. James winced. That could have easily been him.

"_Reducto_!" he shouted, pointed his wand at the Death Eater who had tried to kill him. He heard bones breaking, followed by the thud of a body hitting the ground.

"How many are there?" James asked as he jumped to his feet again.

"At least ten," Sirius replied. "Shit, James we should have stayed in the house! _Stupefy_!"

"_Crucio_!"

"_Protego_!"

James's Shield Charm went up just in time to save Sirius from the pain of the curse. Sirius turned to him with a smile.

"Thanks, mate."

"Anytime."

They separated again, each doing battle with as many Death Eaters as they could. James wondered if Sirius had been low-balling it with his estimate of ten Death Eaters. Every time one fell, it seemed that there was another to take his or her place. Would the supply of evil never run out?

"James!"

James looked up at the sound of a new voice. His father was running at them, his wand out in front of him.

"_Stupefy_!"

A Death Eater fell, and Mr. Potter made his way over to his son.

"Why didn't you send up red sparks? You and Sirius are in way over your heads!"

"We didn't exactly have time," James replied. "_Impedimenta_!"

"You two will be the death of me," Mr. Potter said.

He jumped into the battle with them, helping the two younger men to stop and contain the Death Eaters. James felt energized with the arrival of his father. Now, with three of them, they stood a better chance of making it. He turned around, and began dueling with another Death Eater.

As they circled one another, firing curses at rapid speeds, a new shout filled the group.

"_Avada Kedavra_!"

James turned to see a jet of green light rushing toward Sirius's back. Deep in battle, Sirius had no idea that there was even a Death Eater behind him.

"SIRIUS!" James bellowed, feeling his throat close.

Sirius turned in time to see the jet of light. His face registered surprise, but he was frozen, unable to move.

A figure charged at him, knocking Sirius of the way of the Killing Curse. While Sirius rolled out of the way, his savior took the curse, and fell to the ground with a sickening thump.

"_NO_!" James screamed.

* * *

Lily rose from her seat, and crossed to the window. She looked out on the calm evening with a slight frown.

"It's hard to believe, isn't it? That there could be a battle raging somewhere right now? I mean, this street is completely peaceful. There's nothing going on. There's not even a stray dog wandering around. How could a world that is so peaceful be in such upheaval?"

Alice stood to join Lily at the window, and shook her head. "I don't know, Lily. I really don't. But this is how it is. Battle can't be everywhere at once. For every battleground in the world, there's a street just like this one."

Lily sighed. "I just want this to be over, Alice. I just want to live a normal, calm, war-free life. Is that so much to ask for?"

"No, of course not." Alice put her arm around Lily's waist, drawing her against her side. "You're helping that to happen, Lily. That's why you joined the Order."

Lily shook her head. "I joined the Order because one of my friends was killed by Death Eaters. If Kathleen was still with us, I don't know that I would have done this."

"Yes, you would have. I know you, Lily. You fight for what you believe in. And this – stopping this evil that is trying to dominate our world – is something you believe in."

Lily nodded. "I just wish there was another way. I wish this could be fixed without so many innocent people dying."

"We all do," Alice said, hugging her close. "We all do."

* * *

Sirius held his wand up over his head, and shot up red sparks. Within seconds, Aurors arrived, working to contain the Death Eaters. The situation under control, Sirius limped over to his best friend.

"James?" he asked softly.

James looked up at him with a tear-streaked face. "He wasn't supposed to die."

"I know." Sirius dropped down to his knees next to James. His hand shook as he reached out to grip James's shoulder. He carefully averted his eyes from the sight of the body that James was holding in his arms.

"Damn it, Sirius! This is my dad! The one man who was supposed to be invincible! The one who was always supposed to be there for me! He wasn't supposed to die! He wasn't supposed to leave me!"

"I know," Sirius said again, tears welling in his eyes.

He finally brought himself to look down at Mr. Potter. The man who had been like a father to him since he was twelve looked back up at him, his eyes unseeing, his face frozen in the surprised expression that was characteristic of victims of the Killing Curse. Sirius choked back a sob, and gripped James's shoulder even harder.

"James . . . I'm so . . . It should have been me."

James rounded on him, his eyes flashing. "You're right. It should have been you."

Sirius flinched at the cold anger in his friend's eyes. "James . . ."

"You killed him!" James yelled. He shook Sirius's hand off his shoulder, and reached up to grab his throat. "You killed my father!"

"No!" Sirius choked. "James, I didn't want your dad dead! I didn't even see him coming, I swear! I don't know how he got there so fast, I don't know why he threw me out of the way, I don't know why he took that curse for me, I don't know . . ." Tears began to fall down Sirius's cheeks. "I would take the curse to bring him back for you, James. You know that. I would never do anything to hurt your family."

"Why did you let him do that?" James whispered. He released his grip on Sirius's throat, and began to sob uncontrollably, leaning over his father's body.

"James," Sirius muttered. He put his arms around his friend, trying to pull him away from the body.

"Oh, God," James moaned. "How could this happen to my _dad_?"

Giving in to the sobs that were shaking his body, and let himself slump against Sirius. Sirius held him tightly, his own tears sliding down his cheeks.

* * *

"Remus!"

Remus looked up from Healing the arm of a little girl to see Peter running toward him. Even though he had been kicked out of Healer training, he had learned quite a bit, and the Order and Aurors weren't so quick to quibble about details like certification. Remus found his expertise, lacking though it was, to be much appreciated at battle scenes.

"Peter?" he asked.

"We have a situation," Peter said tensely. He looked close to breaking down.

"What is it?" Remus asked, gripping his wand tightly, already mentally preparing for battle.

Peter shook his head. "It's not a fight. The – the Death Eaters are pretty well contained."

"What is it, then?"

Tears formed in Peter's eyes. "It's James."

The color drained from Remus's face. "James?" he whispered. _What is going to happen to Lily? And the baby?_ James shouldn't have come, he shouldn't have tried to fight. He should have stayed home with Lily.

"He's all right," Peter said quickly, realizing that he had scared unintentionally Remus to death. "But – his dad took a Killing Curse."

"Are you saying -?"

Peter nodded. "Mr. Potter is dead."

Remus swallowed with obvious effort. "Where are they?"

"Come on. I'll take you there."

Remus nodded, and got to his feet. He absently patted the head of the little girl with the newly-healed arm.

"You're fine now, sweetie," he said. "You can go find your mum."

The girl smiled, and bounded of in the direction of her mother, who was waiting to welcome her with open arms. The woman laughed as her daughter ran to her, and swept her up, crushing her against her chest. Remus watched the scene, and blinked. That was how it was supposed to be. Parents were supposed to be there for their children.

"Let's go," he said to Peter in a hollow voice.

Peter nodded, his eyes wide and haunted. Without a word, he began to walk toward the scene where Sirius was trying to comfort James. Remus silently fell into step beside him. He wasn't any more inclined to talk than Peter was.

Peter stopped as they drew closer. "There," he said hoarsely, pointing at the place where James was leaning on Sirius's shoulder. A body lay in front of them.

Remus sucked in his breath quickly. Even though he had believed Peter from the first, he could now see for himself that this was real. Mr. Potter was truly gone. He shook his head as though trying to clear it.

"Come on," he whispered. "They need us."

Peter nodded, and followed Remus to their friends. Remus dropped to his knees in front of James.

"James?"

James looked up, his face streaked with tears and misery. "My dad, Remus," he whispered.

"I know," Remus said softly. "Peter told me."

James swallowed. "My dad's been fighting for years, Remus. He's been an Auror longer than I've been alive. How could he die?"

Remus shook his head. He didn't have the answers James so desperately needed. He reached out to grab James's shoulder.

"You know we're here for you, right?" Remus looked at Sirius, then turned to look at Peter, who was standing behind him. "Sirius, Peter and I aren't going anywhere."

"I know." James cleared his throat, and ran his hand over his eyes. "I need to tell my mum. She's here somewhere . . ."

"I'll find her," Peter volunteered at once.

James looked up at him, and tried to smile. "Thanks, Wormtail."

Peter nodded, and stepped back from his friends.

* * *

Peter walked across the empty battlefield that had been a bustling village only hours before, searching for Mrs. Potter. If he was honest with himself, he would have to admit that finding her sounded like torture. He didn't want to take her back to James. He didn't want to be the one to show her the body of her dead husband. He didn't want to be the one who broke his friend's family apart – the one who smashed it to pieces.

But he was. Everything that had happened – this attack, this battle, this death, this shattered family – it was all his fault. He had known that this would happen. Well, not that Mr. Potter would die, but he had known that the Death Eaters would attack Hogsmeade. He was a spy for the Dark Lord. He had information that others could only dream of acquiring. He had _known_!

And yet he had done nothing – _nothing_ – to stop it. He had remained silent, keeping the details of the attack a secret, not going to Dumbledore with all that he knew. Dumbledore could have stopped this. He could have prevented the senseless death of one of the most well-respected, powerful wizards in their world.

But could he? Dumbledore hadn't saved so many people. He hadn't saved Dana's father. He hadn't saved Lily's parents. He hadn't saved Kathleen.

Tears began to roll down Peter's cheeks. He stopped, leaning against a tree for support. Would it have done any good if he had told Dumbledore what he knew? Would it have made a difference?

If he had gone to Dumbledore, he would have had to admit his Death Eater status. How could he admit that to Dumbledore? How could he tell the most powerful wizard aside from the Dark Lord that he had joined the ranks of his most bitter enemy? How could he stand to see the disappointment that would flood Dumbledore's eyes?

Peter began to sob, sliding down the trunk of the tree to the ground. He pulled his knees up to his chest, and clutched his hair in a gesture reminiscent of James.

_James_. What had he done? How could he make it right?

* * *

"James?"

"Yeah?" James asked, lifting his head from his hands.

Remus swallowed. "I don't know where Peter is, mate, but your mum is coming."

James was on his feet in a second. "Where is she?"

"Over there."

James followed Remus's pointing finger to see his mother walking toward him. He swallowed, and ran his hand through his hair. "I have to go meet her. She can't see my dad like this – not without knowing first."

Remus nodded. "Sirius and I will be right here."

Sirius looked at James with haunted eyes. "Do you want me to come with you, mate?"

James considered him for a moment, then shook his head. "No, I want to be alone with her right now. I know she'll want to talk to you, though."

Sirius nodded in understanding, and gripped James's shoulder. "Good luck, mate."

James nodded, and left them. As he walked toward his mother, he tried desperately to come up with a good way to tell her what had happened. In his mind, he remembered doing the same thing as he had crossed Lily's parents' backyard, preparing to tell her that her mum and dad had died. He had managed to do that successfully. Could he do the same this time?

"James!" Mrs. Potter rushed toward him, and pulled him into an embrace, crushing him against her. "I saw the red sparks over here, and I was so worried that it was you! Are you all right? Who were you fighting with? Where's Lily?"

"Mum, I'm fine," James said, pulling away from her arms. "But there's something I need to tell you."

"Who was your partner, James? Not Lily?"

"No, I made Lily stay home," James said quickly. "She's fine."

"Thank God. I was so worried about her and the baby."

"Mum, please, you have to listen to me for a minute."

Something in his tone made her stop her line of questioning. She looked searchingly into his face, tears already beginning to gather in her eyes.

"James, something terrible has happened, hasn't it?" she whispered. "What is it? Tell me!"

James drew a deep breath, and put his hands on her shoulders. "Mum, Sirius and I were fighting the Death Eaters over there. They had baited us outside the store, and were attacking us – it was awful. We didn't even have time to shoot up red sparks for help. There was nothing we could do. I thought we had lost for sure.

"Then Dad appeared out of no where. He started fighting with us, and I thought we had a chance. I thought we could beat them."

Mrs. Potter's eyes widened, and a tear slid down her cheek. "Did something happen to Sirius?"

"Almost," James said, drawing another deep breath. "A Death Eater shot the Killing Curse at him. I saw it, but it was too late – I thought he was dead for sure. It was going straight at him, and he didn't have time to react, he couldn't jump out of the way –"

"But you said he's all right," Mrs. Potter interrupted.

"Yeah," James said. "Yeah, Mum, Sirius is all right. But that's because Dad – Dad – well, he jumped in front of Sirius, and knocked him out of the way."

"Thank goodness," Mrs. Potter breathed. "So they're all right, then."

"No, Mum," James said, his own tears beginning to fall again. "Sirius is all right because Dad knocked him aside, but Dad . . . Dad took the Killing Curse for Sirius."

Mrs. Potter blinked. "What?"

James nodded, his tears falling faster. "Dad died, Mum."

"James . . ." An odd expression crossed her face. Was it disbelief?

"Come with me," James said, taking her hand.

He led his mother, who was now completely silent, across the street to the place where his father lay. She held his arm with her free hand, clinging to him as though afraid he would leave her. Sirius and Remus were standing guard over Mr. Potter's lifeless body, their faces ashen.

One look at the faces of two of her son's best friends should have been all the confirmation she needed. But she let her eyes drop, and fall upon the body of her husband. As she looked at the man she had loved for the majority of her life, she began to shake. She gripped James's arm, her nails biting into his flesh through his robes. James winced, but did not say a word. He knew he couldn't fault her any emotions that were running through her.

Without a word, she dropped to her knees, releasing James's arm. He knelt down next to her as she reached out a shaking hand to touch her husband's face.

"You're so cold," she whispered, tears beginning to run down her cheeks. "You're so – Harold! How can you leave me like this? How can you leave _James_? He's your son, Harold, he needs you! Your grandchild needs you! You can't leave us! You can't!"

James grabbed his mother's shoulders, turning her face back to him. She looked at him for a moment, and, with a heart-wrenching cry of misery, buried her face into his chest. James held her tightly as she sobbed against him.

* * *

"Excuse me?"

A stricken man looked up at Laura. "Yes?"

"Hi," she said. "I'm Laura Lupin, a member of the Magical Law Enforcement division of the Ministry. If it's all right with you, I'd like to get a statement about today's attack."

"Will this be in the paper?" he asked warily.

"No, sir, I'm not a reporter," she clarified. "I just need statement to help in the prosecution of those responsible for today's attack."

The man nodded. "All right, then."

Laura smiled, and took out her quill and parchment, trying to ignore the nagging feeling that something wasn't right. She wasn't exactly sure what was wrong with her, but she felt incredibly odd.

"Are you all right, miss?" the man asked. "You look a little pale."

"I'm fine," Laura said.

The man nodded. "All right. Where do you want me to begin?"

"Well . . ." Laura's voice died as spots of light appeared before eyes. "Maybe I'm not all right," she admitted, lowering herself to a sitting position.

"Listen, is there someone I can get for you?" the man asked, concern showing on his face.

Laura looked up, and realized how obscured her vision had become. Feeling panic take hold, she gasped. "My husband – Remus –"

Blackness filled her field of vision, and her eyes rolled back her head as she fainted.

* * *

"Remus Lupin!"

Remus, who had been sitting with Sirius a short distance away from the Potters, jumped to his feet. "Right here!"

A man he had never seen before ran over to him. "Your wife . . ." he panted.

"Laura?" Panic seized Remus. "Is she all right? What happened?"

"I don't know," the man said. "She was going to get a statement from me, and just passed out! I don't know what happened to her!"

"Where is she?"

"Over there," the man said, indicating the general direction. "I can show you . . ."

But it was too late. Remus was off at a run.

* * *

"Laura?"

Laura opened her heavy eyes to see Remus standing over her. She had never seen him like that – he looked almost panicked.

"Hey," she said hoarsely.

"Thank God," Remus muttered. "How do you feel?"

"Like I've been hit by a truck."

"A what?"

Laura tried to smile. "I thought your grandmother was a Muggle."

Remus smiled, relief showing on his face. "Thank God you're back."

"What happened?"

"You passed out."

"Why?"

"I'd like to know the same thing," Remus said grimly. "Where you hit by any spells today?"

"Nothing abnormal. Nothing that slowed me down."

Remus nodded tensely. That didn't make his job of diagnosing her any easier.

Laura looked thoughtful, then her eyes lit up. "Remus! Could I be pregnant?"

Remus smiled sadly. "No. I already did a spell to test for that."

"When?"

"Just before you woke up. I'm sorry, love."

Laura smiled. "Well, I guess we'll just have to try harder, then."

Remus shook his head. "Not until we know for sure what happened to you, love. We're not doing anything that could put your health in danger."

"Remus?"

Remus turned from Laura to see Sirius standing uncertainly in the entrance to the medical tent. He crossed the make-shift room, and stepped outside with his friend. "Yeah?"

"I'm going to take James back to Lily," he said. "I just wanted you to know."

"What about Mrs. Potter?"

"She's going to St. Mungo's. James wanted her to be checked over. Once we tell Lily, James wants to go there. I'd imagine Lily will, too."

Remus nodded. "All right. Let them all know they're in my prayers."

"Will do," Sirius said, running his hand over his eyes. "I'll see you later."

"Sirius?"

Sirius turned to face Remus. "Yeah?"

"Are you all right, mate?"

Sirius shrugged. "I have to be, don't I?" He turned around again, and walked away.

Remus watched him disappear, wondering how Sirius himself was going to cope with this tragedy. He was being so strong for James, but he was going to have to deal with this as well. Mr. Potter had been like a father to him, and, no matter how much everyone denied it, Remus was sure that Sirius would blame himself for his mentor's death. It was only a matter of time before the emotion took over and Sirius exploded. But, after his break up with Olivia, who would be there to pick up the pieces?


	30. Comfort

A/N: How's this for shocking?? This semester is considerably lighter than last semester at this point, so I'm finding time to write! I'm not going to make any promises about future updates, except the one I made before, that being that I'll update regularly for two weeks beginning 21 March, when I'm on spring break. Until then, you have this chapter to tide you over!

I still don't have much time to read anything by school-related stuff, so if I usually review your story, or if you've asked me to, don't be shocked if it takes me awhile to get to it. I will eventually, I promise!

I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thanks for staying with me though all this insanity, and for reading and reviewing! You're the best!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Comfort

"Are you ready, mate?"

James nodded slowly, then shook his head. "Sirius, I really don't know how I'm going to tell her this. Lily loves – _loved_ my dad. Ever since her parents . . . my parents have been like a replacement family for her. I don't know how I can put her through this again."

Sirius gripped his shoulder. "Lily is strong, James. With everything that she's dealt with over the course of her lifetime, I know that she's strong enough to deal with this, too." He looked at his friend sharply. "Can _you_ deal with it?"

"I have to, don't I?" James replied, unknowingly repeating the same words Sirius had used earlier. "I have to be strong for my mum. She's the one who's really going to need support to get through this." He smiled slightly. "She and my dad always had this perfect marriage, you know? They were always so good together – they made me want to have that with someone."

"And you do," Sirius said.

"I know. Without them and the example of their marriage, of the love they have always had for one another, I don't think I would have been able to love Lily the way that I do. It's the same way that my parents love one another. And the way that I love her . . . Sirius, I don't think I could make it if something happened to her. How is my mum going to survive this?"

"Your mum has you," Sirius said. "She has you, and she has Lily, and I know that the two of you will help her through this. And, if she'll let me, so will I."

"Sirius," James said slowly. He exhaled, and ran his hand through his hair. "About what I said earlier – I know this wasn't you fault. You didn't ask to have the Killing Curse shot at you, and you didn't ask my dad to jump in front of you. It was wrong of me to even suggest that this was your fault. I'm sorry, and I hope you know that I'm so grateful to you for being here for me right now."

Sirius smiled faintly. "I know, James."

"Good." James glanced around. "What happened to Remus and Peter?"

"I don't know where Peter is."

"And Remus?"

Sirius sighed. "He's with Laura in the medical tent."

James's eyes widened. "What happened?"

"They're still not sure. Laura passed out or something. She's all right now, I guess."

James ran his hands over his face again. He couldn't deal with this. "Remus can fix her," he said confidently. Remus would deal with it, and everything would be fine.

"Right." Sirius glanced at his watch. "We'd better get you home. We have to let Lily know what's happened before the Prophet shows up, asking her for a statement."

James paled slightly. "This can't wind up in the paper."

"James, your dad was one of the Ministry's top-ranked Aurors. It's going to be all over the press."

James sighed, and nodded. "All right, let's go tell Lily."

* * *

Lily was sitting by herself when a pop and a crack told her that someone was entering her house. She jumped up off the couch, clutching her wand in front of her. She lowered it with a sigh of relief when she saw the faces of her husband and friend.

"Where have you two been?" she asked. "Frank came to get Alice ages ago!"

Sirius frowned. "Frank and Alice Longbottom?"

"Yes. Alice came over so that we could keep each other company while we waited for our husbands to come back. She left Frank a note at home, so he knew to come here to find her." She smiled, and crossed the room to hug James. "I've missed you. Are you all right? I was so worried the entire time you were gone!"

James responded instantly to her touch, and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly. He bowed his head over her shoulder, and let the tears that had been bottled up ever since he first saw his mother fall down his cheeks, wetting the red strands of her hair. Fear filled Lily, and she held him even tighter, looking at Sirius with questions in her eyes. He shook his head silently.

"James, what is it?" she asked softly, pulling back enough to look into his eyes. She kept her arms around his neck, sensing that he needed to feel physically close to her.

James looked at her for a moment, unable to stop the tears. He opened his mouth, but couldn't find the words. He had told her that her parents were dead, but now couldn't string a sentence together to tell her of his own father's death. He shook his head mutely, trying in vain to stop his tears.

"James, you're scaring me," she said, trying to keep the panic out of her voice. "Please tell me what's happened."

"Lil . . ." The tears fell even harder. He hadn't meant to scare her.

"Please, James," she said, tears filling her own eyes.

He couldn't do it. He couldn't look into her green eyes anymore, watching them fill with fear and tears. He couldn't stand to be the one who made her cry. He released her, and stumbled backwards, out of the room. Lily looked after him in shock as his footsteps sounded on the stairs.

"Shit," Sirius muttered as they heard the bedroom door slam. "This is worse than I thought."

Lily looked at Sirius, the tears still standing in her eyes. "Please tell me what's happened."

Sirius ran his hands over his face. "You shouldn't hear it from me."

"Well, I have to hear it from someone!" Lily exclaimed, anger beginning to take over. "Damn it, Sirius! James is an emotional wreck, which is something I've never seen before, and you won't tell me why? What is wrong with you?" Tears slid down her cheeks. "What happened out there?"

Sirius drew a deep breath, and took Lily's hand. "Come on, Little Flower. Sit down with me for a minute."

With a shaky gasp, Lily followed Sirius to the couch. "What's happened?" she asked in a terrified whisper, her eyes open wide.

"It's James's dad," Sirius said slowly as they sat down side by side. "Lily, he – he died tonight."

"What?" she gasped, her hands flying to her face.

Sirius nodded, an incredible sorrow filling his eyes. "I know," he said heavily, "I know."

"He was one of the best Aurors in the Ministry! He's been fighting against the Death Eaters since they were organized. If anyone out there knows what they're doing, it's him! How could this have happened?"

Sirius drew another deep breath. "James and I were fighting a group of Death Eaters. We were seriously outnumbered when Mr. Potter showed up to help us. It was still only three of us, but he definitely helped a lot. Then – I don't know what happened exactly. One minute I'm fighting this Death Eater, and the next James is screaming my name. I turned around, and saw this jet of green light. Well, you know as well as I do what that means. I thought I was dead for sure. All I could think was that I never got to tell. . ." He trailed off, knowing that he'd never tell Lily the thoughts that had gone through his mind – the thoughts of one of her best friends.

He sighed, and continued. "At the last second, this person came flying out of nowhere, and slammed into me. I fell, and the curse missed me. But it hit the person who had run into me."

"James's dad," Lily said. It wasn't a question. She already knew what Sirius would say.

Sirius nodded. "God, Lily, I wish he hadn't done that. I wish it _had_ been me, and that James and his mother could still have their family."

"Sirius," she said gently, laying her hand on his arm, "do you think that's what they think? That you should have died in place of James's dad? Do you think that they're blaming you?"

Sirius shook his head slowly. "James told me that it's not my fault, and I know that his mother would never . . . Well, I know that the person she was before this would blame his job, or the Death Eaters."

"It _was_ the Death Eaters, Sirius. They're the ones who killed James's father. Not you."

Sirius tried to smile and failed. "Yeah, I know that."

"Do you? Do you really?"

Sirius sighed. "I'm not the one you should worry about right now, Little Flower. James is."

"James . . ." she muttered, looking up toward the stairs.

"Get him down here," Sirius said. "I want to take him to St. Mungo's. That's where his mum is now."

Lily flinched. "Did his mum --?"

"No," Sirius said quickly. "She's fine – well, physically, at any rate. But James wanted her to go to be checked over."

Lily nodded. "That makes sense. All right. Wait here a minute, and I bring him down."

Sirius nodded.

Lily stood up, then looked down at Sirius. "Thank you for telling me," she said softly. "You're a good friend, Sirius, both to James and to me. We're lucky to have you."

He smiled. "I'm lucky to have you."

Lily smiled back, and leaned down to kiss his cheek. Then she straightened up, and went to find her husband.

* * *

Lily climbed slowly to the top of the stairs, trying to think of some words that she could use to ease the grief that James was feeling. What could she say to him? How could she help him? She knew better than anyone what it was like to lose a parent. She forced herself to think back the worst time of her life. What had helped her the most during those dark days after her parents' deaths?

Drawing her memories and courage up, she knocked on the closed bedroom door. There was no response, which she took as permission to enter. She pushed the door open slowly, wanting to give him a moment to recognize that she was coming into the room.

James was standing by the window, looking outside. He turned to face Lily as she walked into the room; the vacant look in his eyes told her that he had not seen anything of the world outside the window.

"Did Sirius tell you?" he asked hoarsely.

She nodded silently, slowly crossing the room.

"Did he tell you how it happened?"

Again, she nodded. She had made her way across the distance between them, and was now standing close enough to touch him.

"It's not his fault, you know."

"I know. I told him that."

James sighed. "I tried to tell him before, but I guess . . . I hope he listens to you."

"So do I."

"My mum's not taking it well."

"Are you?"

"I'm all right."

She shook her head. "James, this is me. Lily. You don't have to be strong for me."

The gently spoken words were enough to begin breaking down the barriers he had tried to construct around his heart. "God, Lil," he said, tears filling his eyes again. "How am I going to make it without him?"

As his face crumpled, Lily was there. She grabbed him, putting her arms around him to draw him close. The action was enough to break away the last of the barriers. As he felt her arms around him, her cheek against his chest, her hair under his chin, he knew that her kindness was too much. The tears fell slowly at first, and then gathered speed. He clung to her and sobbed, letting the grief drain from his body. Lily held him tightly, gently rocking him back and forth, just as she would have done with a small child.

"It's all right," she said softly. "I'm here. I'm here."

James's only response was to continue sobbing. He clutched her to him, almost as if afraid to let her go.

Lily wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, but eventually became aware that James had stopped crying. She pulled back, and looked at him critically.

"I know you're not all right, so I won't ask," she said. "But you know that I'm here for you, right? I'm not going anywhere."

"Between you and Sirius, I'll never be alone again."

She smiled slightly. "That's the idea."

James gently kissed her lips. "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me," she replied. "You did the same for me."

James's eyes darkened. "Yeah, I guess I did. But you had to endure so much more than me. I still have my mum . . . "

Lily shook her head. "You can't compare the two, so don't even try. Every loss is horrible, no matter who or how many people it is."

James nodded. "We have to go to St. Mungo's. I sent my mum there, and I need to go make sure she's all right."

Lily nodded. "Sirius told me. Do you want to go now?"

"Yes."

"Let's go, then."

Lily took his hand, and led him down the stairs. Sirius was still sitting on the couch where Lily had left him, holding his head in his hands. He looked up when they entered, his eyes skipping from James to Lily. Lily nodded, and tightened her hold on James's hand.

"We're ready to go to St. Mungo's."

"All right," Sirius replied. "Are we Apparating or Flooing?"

"Let's Floo," James said at once. "I don't think I have the mental capacity to Apparate anywhere right now without splinching myself."

Lily crossed to the fireplace, and picked up a sack of glittering Floo powder. "You go ahead first, James. Sirius and I will follow."

James nodded, and took a handful of the powder. "St. Mungo's!" he yelled as he tossed it into the fireplace.

As he swirled out of sight, Sirius took the sack from Lily. "You go next," he said. "I'll be right behind you."

Lily nodded her agreement, and was soon gone. Once she had disappeared from sight, Sirius took a handful of the glittering powder.

"God, give me the strength to do this," he muttered. "St. Mungo's!"

* * *

When Sirius stepped out of the grate at the hospital, James and Lily were brushing soot off their robes. Sirius followed their example, trying to remove some of the dust that was now clinging to his clothing. He hated traveling with Floo powder. He should have just told Lily that he would Apparate to the hospital to meet them.

"Do you know where your mum is?" Lily asked James.

He shook his head. "We have to go ask at the desk."

Sirius followed his friends, who were holding hands again, drawing strength from one another. He shook slightly, feeling as though he was trapped in a surreal world. How could this really be happening? What had James done to deserve this? Then again, what had Lily done to have her parents taken away? What had Peter done to merit the loss of his father, and, going back even further, the love of his life? It wasn't right, but neither was it something that could be explained. Sirius shook his head slightly, and clasped his hands together to still their shaking.

They arrived at the information desk, where several people were already waiting to talk to the receptionist. They waited their turn in silence. None of them had the strength to discuss what had happened, or the mental alertness to start a meaningless conversation.

At last, they made it to the receptionist. She gave them a smile, but looked at them a bit warily, almost as if trying to decide what exactly was wrong with one or all of them.

"May I help you?"

"I'm looking for my mother," James said. "She came in about two hours ago."

The woman nodded. "Her name?"

"Margaret Potter."

"Here she is. It says that only family may visit. Your name, please?"

"James Potter."

She nodded as she checked her list, and looked behind him at Lily and Sirius. "Will they be visiting as well?"

"Yes."

"Are they family?"

"Yes."

"Their names?"

James sighed in exasperation. "Lily Potter and Sirius Black."

She frowned slightly, her eyes never leaving the list. "That last one isn't a Potter."

"Yes, I'm aware that he has a different last name, but he's still family," James said angrily. "Are you going to tell me where my mother is or not?"

Her eyes widened. "There's no need to shout, sir."

"There is every need to shout!" James yelled, the last of his tolerance snapping. "I just want to see my mother, and you're bothering me with questions about the two people with me – the two people who are more family to me that some people's blood relatives ever could be! Just tell me where my mother is and I'll _leave you alone_!"

"James," Lily said softly, stepping up next to him and putting a hand on his arm. She looked at the receptionist, whose eyes were widening with surprise and a bit of fear. "My husband has suffered a terrible loss today. If you could please simplify this for us, we'd appreciate it. Just tell us Mrs. Potter's room number, and we'll be off."

"She's in 1066," the woman said, still looking rather shaken.

"Room 1066," Lily repeated. "Thank you."

James turned to join Sirius, who was standing off to the side. Lily made to follow him, but was stopped by the receptionist.

"It's all for security," she said. "I have a list of people who are allowed to visit Mrs. Potter, and I can't let anyone else have her room number."

"We understand," Lily said.

"They said only family, and I was surprised to see Sirius Black on the list. I know he's not a member of the Potter family."

"How do you know that?" Lily asked, intrigued in spite of herself.

"I worked with his mother for years," the woman replied. "When he was little, she always talked about him. Then, she stopped. I asked about him once, and all she said was that he was a blood traitor, whatever that was supposed to mean."

Lily smiled sadly. "Well, thanks."

"You didn't answer my question."

"I wasn't aware you had asked one," Lily said, beginning to get annoyed.

"Why is he listed as a family member of the Potters?"

"Like my husband said," Lily said, "sometimes friendship can be deeper than family."

With that, she followed James and Sirius toward room 1066.

* * *

They reached the room without further incident. They paused uncertainly outside the door, not wanting to wake Mrs. Potter if she was sleeping.

"You should go in regardless, James," Lily said. "Even if she is sleeping now, I'm sure she'll want to see you when she wakes up."

"Right," James said.

"You go, too," Sirius said to Lily. "I'll wait out here for you."

"Are you sure you want to do that?" James asked. "I'm sure my mum will want to see you, too."

"I'll wait," Sirius said again. "If she asks for me, come and get me."

"All right," James agreed reluctantly. "Come on, Lil."

Lily took his hand, and followed him into the darkened hospital room.

"Hello?"

"Mum?" James replied.

"James?"

James and Lily crossed the room as quickly as they could in the dim light. Mrs. Potter was lying in bed, looking up at them. Her eyes were red rimmed and bloodshot, and her face was pale, but she looked to be in good health. Lily found herself unconsciously breathing a sigh of relief. She had been worried that something would happen to James's mother. She wasn't sure how he would handle dealing with another tragedy on this day.

"Lily and I are here," James said softly.

Tears filled Mrs. Potter's eyes. "Thank you both so much for coming."

"Where else would we be?" James asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Lily's been taking good care of you, hasn't she?"

James smiled slightly, and took his mother's hand. "Of course. She always does."

"You're a good girl, Lily. I'm so glad that James found you."

"I'm glad he did, too," Lily smiled.

She drew a shaky breath. "We have a lot of arrangements to make . . ."

"I'll take care of it," James said quickly.

"You don't have to do that. I can help."

"Do you want to?"

She looked down, then up again. "I want to, James, but I'm not sure if I can."

"I do it, then," he said confidently. "Don't worry about a thing, Mum. I have it under control."

She smiled, and stroked his hand. "You've always been such a good boy, James. You've made us so proud. You do know that your father was proud of you, don't you?"

"Even though I'm not an Auror?" James said with a slight smile.

"Maybe even more than he would have been if you were an Auror. You followed your own path, even though you knew that it wasn't what he wanted for you. You had the strength to make yourself happy, and the initiative to follow your dreams. You built the life you wanted for yourself, even though it wasn't in his plan for you. And _that_, James, made him the proudest of all."

James blinked back tears. "I never knew."

"He loved you, James."

"I loved him so much, Mum."

"He knew that. He gave you so much love, James. Now you'll be able to give that love to your little one." She smiled sadly. "He was so excited to meet his first grandchild."

"I think that somehow, he already knew the baby," Lily said softly. "Even though he had never seen the little one, I'm sure he could feel its spirit. I'm sure they were kindred souls."

"Yes, I'm sure they were, too," Mrs. Potter smiled. She reached out with her other hand to take Lily's. "You take good care of yourself, darling. We have to make sure that Harold's grandson makes it into this world safely."

"Grandson?" Lily smiled.

"Or granddaughter. It doesn't much matter, does it? Either way, this baby will have more love that it knows what to do with."

"Yes," Lily said, putting her hand over her stomach. "He will have plenty of that."

* * *

When Mrs. Potter fell asleep, Lily stood from her chair. James looked at her questioningly.

"I'm going to walk around a bit," she explained.

James nodded. "I'm going to wait here, just in case she wakes up."

Lily leaned down to kiss his lips. "I love you."

James smiled sadly. "I love you, too."

Lily walked out of the room, blinking in the bright light of the hallway. Sirius stood from the chair he had been sitting in while he waited.

"How is she?"

Lily ran her hands over her face, and through her hair. "All right, all things considered. She's sleeping right now."

Sirius nodded. "I need to get out of here, Lil. Will you and James be all right without me?"

"I suppose. Where are you going?"

"To Rebecca's."

Lily's eyes widened slightly. "Really?"

"She's my girlfriend, Lily. Is it that odd that I want to see her? She probably thinks I was killed in that battle at this point."

She smiled. "I'm sorry. I'm just not used to her being your girlfriend yet."

He sighed, unaware of the sadness that crept into his eyes. "Olivia and I are over, Lils."

"I know that." Lily noticed the sorrowful look, but chose not to comment on it.

"I'm allowed to have another girlfriend."

"I never said you weren't."

He looked at her for a moment. "You don't like Rebecca, do you?"

"Well, that's hard to say, since I've never met her."

Sirius grinned for the first time since the battle. "We'll have to fix that. I'll bring her over sometime soon so that you can meet her."

Lily smiled. "If she makes you happy, Sirius, then I like her. Get out of here. Go let her know that you're alive."

Sirius grinned and winked, then Disapparated.

* * *

"Rebecca?"

"Sirius?" Rebecca came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel. Her eyes lit up when she saw him. "Thank God!"

She dropped the towel and launched herself across the room, throwing herself into his arms. Sirius smiled as he held her tightly.

"Are you all right? I was so scared! I was in France with my father when the battle started. I hadn't heard anything about it, but when I tried to come back, I couldn't Apparate in. I had to go around by the longest route possible, still not knowing what was going on. When I finally got here, I saw all these Aurors, but I couldn't find you. I was so scared, Sirius! I thought you were horribly injured, or dead, or . . ."

"I'm fine," Sirius replied, kissing her forehead. "I'm right here, see? I'm fine!"

"Were you in the battle?"

"Yes."

"But you weren't injured, were you?"

"No more than cuts and bruises," Sirius replied.

She looked at him critically. "What's wrong, Sirius?"

"What makes you think something's wrong?"

"Your eyes . . . they look haunted."

Sirius sighed. "My best friend's dad died, Rebecca.

She gasped, her hands flying to her face. "What happened?"

"A Death Eater shot a Killing Curse at my back, but he took it for me."

"What?" she whispered, her hands falling slowly.

"He pushed me out of the way, and the curse hit him. It was supposed to be me, Rebecca. I'm the one who's supposed to be dead, not him." He pounded his fist into the top of the couch. "This is more than just my best friend, Rebecca. James Potter has been my brother since we were eleven and met on the Hogwarts Express. His parents have been more parental to me that mine ever were. And now I've torn apart their family."

"It wasn't –"

"I know it wasn't my fault!" Sirius yelled. "Everyone keeps telling me that, but it doesn't change the fact that _I'm_ the one who's supposed to be dead right now!"

"You're not dead," she said softly, touching his face. "Don't think that way. You're right here with me."

Tears gathered in his eyes. "I shouldn't be."

She kissed his lips hard. "Yes, you should be. I need you here with me, Sirius. I can't stand the thought of anything happening to you."

"Why are you so good to me?" Sirius whispered, feeling the tears press against the back of his eyes. "Why do you care so much?"

"Because I love you."

Sirius looked at her in wonder. No one had said that to him since the last time Olivia had said it the night of Remus and Laura's wedding, when she had ended their relationship and broken his heart. He didn't stop to think or to analyze his feelings. He let his jumbled emotions take over, and kissed her again, this time deeply and tenderly.

When they broke the kiss, Rebecca looked at him in surprise, a smile tugging at her lips. "No one kisses quite as well as you do."

"Shhh," he whispered. He kissed her again, then let his lips trail down her neck.

She moaned softly as he continued to kiss her, his hands moving all over her body, caressing her. She grabbed at his hair, then splayed her fingers across his back, holding him close.

"Please, Sirius," she whispered.

"Is your father here?" he asked.

"No," she said breathlessly. "He won't be here until next week. We're alone."

"Good." Sirius began kissing her again.

She broke the kiss, and looked at him with eyes full of desire. "Let's go to my room."

Again, Sirius didn't stop to think. All he knew was that he desperately needed a physical connection with another person, to prove to himself that he was still alive, that he had survived this horrific night. Rebecca wanted to share this experience with him as much as he wanted to share it with her. Without a word, he let her take his hand and lead him to her bedroom.

* * *

Lily wandered aimlessly around the hospital for a while, not sure of where she could go. She didn't know anyone there other than James and his mother, for which she was grateful. She couldn't bear to think of any more of her friends in this place. But still, she needed a destination, or she would find herself in some restricted section of the building.

With a smile, she redirected her steps to the maternity ward. She was surprised she hadn't thought to go there sooner. Just seeing the babies, the new little lives, would help her. It would be as therapeutic for her as the conversation about her baby had been for James's mother.

She stopped in front of the nursery, and looked in at the babies. There were ten of them, all sleeping peacefully, wrapped in pink or blue blankets. She smiled, realizing that as long as they were wizards, these children would be her baby's classmates.

"What do you think?" she whispered to her child. "Who will be your best friend? Let me see . . ."

She looked at the babies, smiling as her eyes fell on one little boy. Red hair peeked out from under his blue blanket. She wondered if her baby would have red hair as well. Picking up a strand of her own hair from her shoulder, she acknowledged the likelihood of it. Perhaps this little boy and her baby could bond over their red hair as children. She stepped closer to the window, trying to read the baby's name.

"Ronald Weasley," she whispered. "What do you think? Does that sound like someone you'd want to befriend?"

"Talking to yourself?"

Lily jumped, and looked at James in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you. I knew I'd find you here."

"You were looking for me? Is something wrong with your mother?"

"No, nothing's wrong. I just decided something, and I wanted to run it by you."

"All right," she agreed.

He smiled, and looked at the babies sleeping in the nursery. "I think this is the perfect place for this conversation, too." He ran his hand through his hair, his face forming into the same nervous look that had accompanied the gesture when he had asked her for dates at Hogwarts. "I've chosen a name for a boy."

Lily's eyes widened. "Oh? What is it?"

"Well, after what happened today, I want to name him for my dad."

"Harold?"

James made a face. "Here's the problem. That's an old man's name, not a baby's."

Lily smiled. "I think your dad would have had a problem with you calling him an old man."

"Well, all my life, I've associated it with him, and he's always been old in my eyes."

"I know what you're trying to say. So, not Harold?"

"Well, I want to do a variation of it. So, I thought that if we have a boy, maybe we could call him Harry."

"Harry," Lily smiled. "It's perfect."

"You really think so?" James asked, his face relaxing into a relieved smile.

"I really do. Harry is a brilliant name."

"Excellent!"

"Did you choose his middle name as well?"

"Well, I decided that since you left the girl's middle name up to me I'd leave the boy's up to you."

Lily looked at him for a moment, thinking. "Well, I want to give him the name of the man I admire the most."

"If you say Sirius . . ."

Lily laughed, relieved to hear James joking. "No, not Sirius."

"Who then?"

"You."

James's eyes widened. "Me?"

"Yes. I want him to be Harry James."

"Harry James?"

"Harry James Potter."

Tears sparkled in James's eyes as he pulled her to him. For the second time that day, he found himself incapable of speech.

Lily smiled against him. "You shouldn't be so surprised, you know. I love you and I married you. Of course I admire you."

James kissed her forehead. "I hope it is a boy. I think that Harry James Potter is a brilliant name." He smiled, and touched Lily's abdomen. "But if you're a girl in there, Brenna Elizabeth Potter is brilliant, too."


	31. Blame

A/N: I forgot to include this in my last chapter, but I want to thank everyone who helped in my plagiarism battle. Everything (that I know of) that was stolen has been removed, and my work is once again my own. Thank you all for your help!

Good news! It looks as though my schedule will permit one update a week from this point on. I'm going to make a valiant effort to update every Friday, so keep an eye out for new chapters just in time for the weekend!

One thing before we start – Is Lily psychic? Well, not exactly . . . but, like Harry, she has her moments.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing! You're the best!

I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

Blame

Con tu adiós, te llevas mi corazón (With your good bye, you take my heart) _  
- Como la flor_, Selena

"How are you feeling?"

"_Fine_," Laura replied, annoyance finding its way into her voice. "You've asked me that at least fifteen times today, and we've only just finished breakfast!"

Remus smiled. "Sorry. It's all that Healer training. It's bothering me that we don't know why you passed out yesterday."

"Isn't stress a good enough reason? We were in a battle situation, you know."

"It would be if you hadn't been in similar situations before. Face it, love. You're a seasoned soldier at this point. I expect you to be able to handle it."

Laura smiled, and stuck her tongue out at him. "Well, I'm fine now."

"I'm glad."

She looked down at the cup of tea in front of her for a moment, then up at Remus. "Have you heard from James?"

"No, not since I saw him with his mum on the battlefield."

Laura shuddered. "I can't even imagine watching one of my parents die."

"God-willing, you'll never have to." He ran his hands over his face. "I want to check on him, but I don't want to intrude, you know? Maybe I could go over later today. He and Lily should be all right with visitors, right?"

"I should think so. I'm sure they have a million things to do, though."

"I know. But I can't wait to just say a few words to him at the funeral. This is _James_, Laura. He's my brother. I have to be there for him."

"Then you should be. Go visit today."

A crack split the air, and Sirius appeared in their kitchen. Laura and Remus both looked at him in surprise.

"Is everything all right, Sirius?" Remus asked.

Sirius gave him a lopsided smile. "No new tragedies, if that's what you're asking. I just . . . I need to talk to you, Moony."

Laura picked up her teacup, and stood to her feet. "I'll just leave you alone, shall I? If you need me, I'll be in the living room."

Sirius smiled as he watched her go. "You're a lucky man, Remus. She bounced back from yesterday pretty quickly."

"Yes," Remus said slowly, indicating that Sirius should sit down with him. "I'm still not satisfied, though. I need to know what happened to make her faint."

"Have you talked to Dana?" Sirius suggested as he took the chair that Laura had just vacated. "She might be able to help."

Remus shook his head. "I haven't had a chance. That's a good idea, though. Even if she doesn't know what caused her collapse, she can bring Laura up in class as a hypothetical case." He smiled. "But what did you come to talk to me about?"

"I slept with Rebecca last night."

Remus's eyes widened, surprised by the abruptness of Sirius's confession. "As in shared a bed, or . . .?"

"More than just sharing a bed," Sirius grinned.

Remus exhaled a long breath. "Well, congratulations, I suppose."

Sirius laughed. "I'm not here to ask for advice in that department, if that's what you're thinking. We did quite well on our own."

Remus held up a hand. "I don't need details."

"Moony, Moony, always such a prude. And you were the first one of the four of us to actually shag a girl, too."

"And I'm married to her," Remus replied a bit harshly. "Not exactly something I can say of you."

"I might marry her."

Remus laughed. "Sure, Padfoot, I can see that. You've already proven yourself not to be a marrying man. Don't you remember Olivia? She wanted you to marry her, and you practically sprinted in the opposite direction! And, as I recall, you had most definitely shagged her, too."

Sirius waved his hand. "Remus, you're jumping ahead of me."

"All right, bring this to where you want it."

Sirius ran his hand through his hair. "Rebecca told me that she loves me."

"Before or after you shagged her?"

"Both."

Remus's eyes widened again. "What did you say?"

"Nothing. I couldn't think of a good reply, so I just kissed her."

"The king of the cover story couldn't think of anything to say?"

"Yeah, I guess that's about it. Don't tell anyone, though. I don't want my reputation slandered."

"Be serious for a minute. This is a major issue." Remus looked at his friend as though he could see right through him. "Do you love her?"

Sirius looked down at the table. "I'm not sure."

"Oh, man."

"I know. I have this beautiful girl who is absolutely fantastic in every way telling me that she loves me, but I can't say it back! What is wrong with me?"

"Didn't you have this same problem in seventh year with Olivia?" Remus asked. "You have issues with getting in touch with your feelings, Padfoot."

"True though that may be, I think the issue is greater than that."

"How so?"

Sirius finally looked up. "I think I'm still in love with Olivia."

Remus closed his eyes. "So just to make sure that I'm keeping up, you could potentially love one of these girls, both of them, or neither of them."

"Yeah, that's about it."

He opened his eyes again. "Padfoot, I hope I _never_ have as many issues as you."

"Since you're married, I hope you never have this problem, too."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know! That's why I'm here. I need some advice."

"Have you talked to James about this? What does he think?"

Sirius shook his head. "I can't put this on him with everything that he's dealing with right now. Maybe when this whole situation gets a little less convoluted, or when things settle down with his family, I'll tell him."

"And Peter?"

"I haven't seen Peter since he left us last night. Have you seen him?"

"No, I haven't." Remus frowned slightly. "I tried to talk to him over the Floo network this morning to make sure he was all right, but his mother said he wasn't home."

Sirius frowned. "Odd. I wonder what happened to him."

Remus shrugged. "It's Peter. He's been like this since we left Hogwarts. I always thought it was just because he didn't live with us anymore, but now none of us live together."

"He's been on his own longer, though," Sirius rationalized. "He's more used to spending time without us. You, James and I are still nearly joined at the hip."

Remus grinned. "Yeah, we are, aren't we?" His grin faded. "How is James?"

"I left him with Lily and his mother at St. Mungo's last night," Sirius replied. "They're all dealing as well as they can. Lily's being a rock for James. She's great, you know? You should have seen the way she just jumped in there and became the strong one for him."

"You didn't think she could?"

"I don't know. I mean, don't you remember how she fell apart after her parents died? I was a little worried about how she'd take this. But she's doing really great." He sighed. "And James is doing the same for his mother. He's totally there for her, being the supportive son. I'm just worried that he's not going to take care of himself."

"He has Lily to worry about him."

"I guess so." Sirius ran his hands over his face. "I just wish there was some way that none of them had to support one another like this. I wish this had never happened. I wish they could all be whole again."

"It's not –"

"I know, Moony" Sirius said wearily. "If one more person tells me that it's not my fault, I'm going to explode! I'm not blaming myself, okay? I'm not."

"Good."

"I know exactly who to blame." A hard glint shone in his eyes. "The Death Eaters caused this. Mr. Potter's death was their fault. His blood is on their hands." He smiled grimly. "I become a full Auror next week. I'm going to spend the rest of my life making the Death Eaters pay for what they've done."

* * *

Peter walked slowly around the snow-covered village, wondering idly if winter would ever end. As he looked at the clean white snow that surrounded the homes of his neighbors, he thought back to the night before – the night of the battle.

There had been snow there, too. It hadn't been white like this, though. Not after the battle had ended. The snow had been trampled, dirty. It had compounded with loose earth to create mud. It had been flung from one side to the other as feet ran across it. It had been stained red by the blood of those who had fallen in battle.

One of those was James's father. Every time he thought of it, Peter felt as though his chest was being torn apart. He knew what it was like to lose a father. He knew the pain that James would be going through. He knew of the sorrow that would haunt his friend's mother's eyes. He knew of the trials that lay ahead for them. He would never have wished this on them.

Yet, he could have been the one to prevent it. He had known what would happen – _he had_ _known_! Well, not that James's father would die, necessarily, but he had known that lives would be lost. It was one of the costs of war, wasn't it? People died in all battles. They just weren't always the people close to him or to those he loved. But this time – this time it had been his best friend's father.

Peter stopped outside the village and leaned against a tree for support. A dry sob shook his body as he thought of what he had done. He had started this whole thing to help his friends. He wanted to save them, not to bring them more harm. Maybe he should just quit. Maybe he should forget the Death Eaters and the Dark Lord, and move on with his life. He could renew his commitment to Dumbledore, and fight solely for his side.

Even as the thought went through his head, he felt a burning sensation on his arm. He was being summoned. Did he really want to go? Could he really continue doing this?

The burning grew stronger, and Peter sobbed again. He had no choice, and he knew it. Once one became a Death Eater, there was no way out. He had seen people try to leave before. They had all been given two options: remain a member of the organization or face death at the hands of the Dark Lord or one of his minions.

Peter shuddered. He couldn't die. He remembered a long-ago conversation with his father, in which the older man had told Peter how much he hurt his mother by putting his life in danger. He didn't want to hurt his mother. He didn't want to hurt his friends. He wanted to live, to be able to help them all in any way that he could.

His choice was made. He would serve his master.

Closing his eyes, he Disapparated to the location that filled his mind.

* * *

When Lily opened her eyes, bright sunshine filled her bedroom. Panic filled her as she reached for her watch. If the sun was so high in the sky, she was very late for work.

As quickly as it had come, the panic subsided. She had taken the day off work. She needed to be with James. She turned her head, expecting to see him sleeping next to her. She was surprised to see his side of the bed empty. Surely he hadn't gone to work? How could he go to work today, the day after his father had died?

It still didn't seem real to her, even in her thoughts. Her father-in-law had died.

Tears filled her eyes at the thought. Though he had not been related to her by blood, Mr. Potter had truly been a father to her since she had first met him. He had cared about her, and had treated her as his own daughter. She would miss him.

The tears began to escape, falling quickly down her cheeks. She sucked in her breath in a gasp, and caught her lower lip between her teeth. She didn't want to sob uncontrollably. She needed to stay in control. She needed to be the strong one for James. He was always the strong one for her. She wanted to return the favor. But, for the moment, she needed to be weak. She needed to have a chance to grieve.

She let herself cry for several moments, taking time to be alone and feel the pain that was rushing through her body. There was something very therapeutic about tears; once they were spent, she felt more ready to begin the day, to face the sun that was shining despite the sorrow that now filled her world.

She climbed out of bed, and went to the bathroom. After a hot shower, she felt renewed. She wrapped herself in a warm robe, and made her way downstairs.

James was in the kitchen, sipping coffee and reading the paper. He looked up when she entered, and smiled.

"How are you, love?"

Lily was a bit taken aback by his rather positive attitude. "How are _you_?" she replied.

"Much better today," he said. "Listen, I think I want to finish this week out at work, so I'm going to set the funeral for Saturday or Sunday. Which do you think would be better?"

Lily blinked, and crossed the room. She slowly lowered herself into the chair across from him, trying to choose her words with care.

"James," she said, reaching out to touch his hand, "you can't make this go away. Not that easily."

"Lily, I'm asking for your advice," he said impatiently. "What day do you think would be better for the funeral?"

She flinched slightly. Had he truly become so callous to what had happened? "I – I – Why don't you ask your mother?"

He shook his head. "I promised my mum that I'd handle everything. I really don't think she's up to it, you know?"

"Of course I know," Lily said softly. "She's just lost her husband, James. You have to give her some time to grieve. You should give yourself some time, too."

James shook his head. "I need to keep going, Lil. That's the only way that I'm going to get through this. I just need to move on with my life."

"Don't you even want to think about ?"

"I don't want to think about anything except these funeral arrangements and what I'm going to do in class tomorrow," he interrupted.

Lily looked at him for a moment, then nodded. "All right, then," she said as she rose from her seat. "Did you make tea, too, or just coffee?"

"I heated some water for you," he replied, lifting his paper again. "It's on the stove."

Lily nodded, even though he couldn't see her. She shook her head as she poured the hot water into a mug. She was shocked by the change in his attitude from yesterday. He had gone from a lost little boy who couldn't even find the words to tell her what had happened to a man who was completely calm and collected. What had happened to him overnight?

The emotional James of yesterday she could handle. This new James was completely outside her realm of understanding.

* * *

Lily stood in the kitchen, making dinner. She was once again using Muggle methods to cook. This time it was to give herself the satisfaction of using sharp knives to take out her anger and frustration on the food she was preparing. James had retained his "nothing has changed" attitude throughout the entire day. She had spent hour after hour watching him act as though nothing was wrong. Even when he spoke with the funeral director and priest, he remained eerily calm. She didn't necessarily want him to break down again, but she was sure that it would be helpful for him to at least discuss his feelings about what had happened.

But any time that she broached the subject, he shut down. A closed, guarded look came over his face, and he refused to say a word, letting Lily talk herself in circles as she tried to get him to open up about his emotions.

The only time he had acknowledged that something had happened in their lives had been when his mother had stopped by for a visit. She was still clearly shell-shocked over the loss of her husband; James had immediately become the devoted, supportive son. Lily had been thrilled to see him so tender with his mother, certain that he was within moments of opening up to her.

But she was disappointed. As soon as his mother had left, the barriers had gone up, and the smile was back in place. James was detaching himself from his emotions.

She had finally given up and retreated into the kitchen, where she was preparing a huge dinner. The size of the meal actually had more to do with the amount of time she had given herself to cook it anything else, but she was rather proud of what she was creating. She was sure that James would appreciate her efforts. And if he didn't, he would learn to, given the number of days they would be eating leftovers.

A rapid succession of pops and cracks broke through her thoughts, and she dropped her knife. She heard James's voice, quickly followed by several others. She was sure that she recognized one voice as Sirius's, but hadn't heard enough of the others' voices to identify them. She put the knife down properly, and wiped her hands on a towel before making her way into the living room.

Sirius was there, as she had assumed, joined by Remus and Laura. She smiled at them in greeting.

"Hi, everyone."

Laura crossed the room instantly, and pulled Lily close. She held her for a moment, then pulled back to look at her. "How are you?"

"I'm all right," Lily smiled, knowing that Laura asked the question in honest concern. "We're making it."

Laura nodded. "James seems . . ."

"He's doing pretty well today," Lily said haltingly.

Remus hugged her next. "Is there anything we can do for you?"

"Talk to James," she whispered. "He's really going to need you, Remus. You, Sirius and Peter may be the only ones who can get through to him."

Remus nodded, and squeezed her hands. "We'll try. I can't make any promises, but we'll do our best."

Sirius made his way to them, and pulled Lily close. "What's wrong with James?" he whispered against her hair.

"If only I knew," she muttered back. "He's been like this all day."

Sirius pulled back from her, and looked searchingly into her eyes. "I don't like it."

"Neither do I, but I can't get him to talk," Lily replied. "Maybe you and Remus will have better luck than I've had today."

Sirius nodded. "We'll try."

Lily smiled. "I know you will." She looked around at the group, and raised her voice. "Well, you've picked an excellent time to drop by. I was just making dinner, and I'm currently on my way to having enough food for an army, so you may have saved James and I from a week of leftovers."

"Excellent!" Sirius laughed. "You know I'm always up for food."

"Indeed," Lily replied. "Laura, will you help me finish with everything?"

"Of course," Laura replied, following Lily into the kitchen.

James looked at his friends with a smile, and sat down on the couch. "Well, gentlemen, I think she's telling us to stay out of the kitchen."

"It's better this way," Sirius grinned as he sat down next to James. "I've never trusted Lily with a knife in her hands."

"Laura seems all right," James said, turning to face Remus, who had sat down across from them in Lily's favorite chair. "Sirius told me that she collapsed yesterday?"

"Yeah," Remus replied. "It was a little scary for awhile there, but she seems better today."

"But you're not satisfied?" James inferred, raising his eyebrows.

Remus smiled, and shook his head. "I just need an explanation, I suppose."

"Do you think she could be pregnant?" James asked. "Lily was really sick at first with this pregnancy, and we had no idea why until she saw a Healer." He grinned sheepishly. "We weren't exactly trying for a baby, so it didn't occur to me to think that she might be pregnant. But you and Laura . . ."

"No, I already did a pregnancy-detecting charm," Remus replied. "That was my first thought, too, honestly. I was a little disappointed when it came up negative . . . But if she's sick, it's better that she's not pregnant."

"You think she's sick?" James asked, concern filling his eyes.

Remus waved his hand as if to dismiss the possibility. "I'm sure she's not. I'm just the product of years of living in a Healer's house, followed by time in Healer training." He shrugged. "I worry, but I'm sure it will be fine. Like you said, she's fine today."

James nodded. "Good."

"How are _you_, James?" Sirius asked, his face uncharacteristically serious.

"I'm fine," James replied. "I made the funeral arrangements today, so if you guys are free on Saturday, I'd really appreciate it if . . ."

"We're there," Sirius said instantly. "You know we'll be there."

"Thanks," James said, relieved. "I need to tell Peter . . ."

Remus frowned. "We've been trying to get a hold of him all day, but we can't seem to track him down. Have you heard from him?"

"No," James replied, frowning slightly. "I know he was with me for awhile last night, but then he left to go find my mum and disappeared."

Sirius nodded. "How is your mum, James?"

James shook his head. "She's not dealing with this very well. When I told her all the arrangements I had made, she just started crying. She said she can't handle the idea of putting my dad in the ground. I don't like the idea myself, but we have to do it, right?"

"Yeah, James, but she just lost her husband," Remus said carefully. "You can't expect her to just bounce back from that. She was married to him for over twenty years."

"Twenty-three," James said automatically.

"What?"

"Their anniversary was last month," James said. "They were married for twenty-three years." He sighed, and ran his hands over his face. "I know she's hurting. I can't imagine losing Lily, and we've only been married a year. But we have to do this, don't we? We have to accept what's happened and move on."

"You don't have to accept it within a day," Remus said gently. "It's all right to give yourself some time to get used to the idea."

"That's time I should be using to get over it," James said harshly. "I may not be dealing with this the same way you would, Remus, but it's the only way I know how."

"We're not saying it's wrong, mate," Sirius said quickly. "We're just worried about you, that's all. Yesterday you were a different person, and this quick transition is a little scary."

"I like myself better this way," James said stubbornly.

"Do you, really?" Remus asked, still in the same gentle voice.

James sighed, and ran his hand through his hair. "I just don't want to cry anymore. I want to feel normal again. I want to live my life again."

"Yeah, but James . . ."

"I'm dealing with this the best way I can, guys. Now let's just drop it."

"Dinner's ready," Lily said, stepping into the living room.

"Excellent," James said, practically jumping up from his seat. "I'm starving." He kissed Lily's cheek as he walked past her on his way into the dining room.

Lily looked at Sirius and Remus with raised eyebrows. They both shook their heads.

"He's determined that he needs to move on," Remus said. "And he's going to do that at all costs."

Lily nodded. "That's what I was afraid of."

* * *

Remus, Laura and Sirius left soon after dinner. Although they all professed exhaustion, Lily was sure that they didn't want to watch James try to act normal anymore. She didn't want to herself, but didn't have a choice. With a sigh, she began to gather up the dishes.

"Want to dry?" she asked James.

"You're really into Muggle methods today, aren't you?" he smiled, picking up a stack of dishes to carry into the kitchen.

"Every once in a while I like to change the way I do things," she replied.

James smiled, and placed the dishes on the counter. "All right," he agreed, picking up a towel. "But if I pull a muscle from all this manual labor, I expect a massage."

"I'm carrying around your child, and you're whining about drying dishes?"

"Ouch," James laughed. He touched her abdomen. "You know, that's going to be more effective when you can actually tell you're pregnant just by looking. But, I'll give you a massage, if you want."

"Excellent," she said, filling the sink with water and soap. "I'll expect that as soon as we're done here."

She plunged several glasses into the sudsy water, and began scrubbing them. James stood waiting with a towel in his hands. When she finished the first one, she bypassed the dish rack, and handed it straight to him.

Unfortunately, James didn't get a good grip on the glass; he had no more than started to dry it when it slipped from his hands, crashing on the floor. Lily jumped back, trying to avoid being hit by the flying glass.

"Shit!" James exclaimed.

"It's all right," Lily said, grabbing her wand to do a quick cleaning charm. She collected the shards of glass, and banished them to the bin. "No harm done."

"But I broke our glass!" James exclaimed. "Damn it!"

"James, it was just a glass," Lily said easily. "We have others."

"But now we don't have a complete set!"

Lily raised her eyebrows. "James, it's fine. We still have plenty of glasses."

"No, it's not fine!" he yelled, slamming his palm down onto the counter. "I can't believe I broke that glass!"

"It's really not a big deal."

"Yes, it _is_ a big deal!" Tears gathered in his eyes. "How could I have been so stupid?"

"James . . ." She had a feeling they weren't talking about a glass anymore.

"I brought his attention to what was going on," James said in a choked voice. "If Sirius and I hadn't gone out of the store the back way . . . They baited us out. We could have gone around to the front and gotten help, but I wanted to see what was going on, I wanted to fight, I thought we could take them on our own. Sirius wanted us to think it through first, but I wouldn't let him. I said we should just get to it. He went out first, you know. He said that I have a family to think about now, so I couldn't go first."

He paused, and drew a shaky breath. "There were so many Death Eaters out there, Lil. So many. Sirius and I were doing our best, but we couldn't fight them all off. And then my dad came flying out of nowhere to help us. He's not just the reason that Sirius is alive; he's the reason that we're both alive. He truly saved us."

Tears began to fall, but he didn't seem to notice. "If I had just listened to Sirius, we wouldn't have put ourselves in that situation. If we hadn't been there, my dad would never have come over to rescue us. I'm the reason he's dead, Lil. It's my fault."

"It's not your fault," Lily whispered, tears filling her own eyes. "Those Death Eaters would have been there regardless, James. And your dad was an Auror. His job was to fight Death Eaters, to bring them to justice. Regardless of where you were, he would have done just that. Either way, he would have found himself in that situation." She paused, and drew a shaky breath. "And, James, you and Sirius gave your father a wonderful gift last night."

"What's that?"

She touched his cheek, letting her hand push back his hair. "You let him save your lives. He died knowing that because of his actions, you and Sirius, two of the people he loved most in the world, would live."

James's face crumpled completely as he began to sob. Lily pulled him close, crying with him. Maybe now, they could begin to heal.

* * *

"How did you know Harold?"

"He was my mentor my first year as an Auror. You?"

"We were in Gryffindor together. I shared a dormitory with him for seven years. I never imagined I'd be at his funeral – especially not when he was so young."

"He died doing what he loved, though."

"And look at the number of people whose lives he touched."

The two men paused their conversation to look at the line of mourners that stretched around the funeral home, waiting to get inside to pay their respects to the fallen Auror and his family. They were sure that Harold Potter would have been proud to know how many souls he had touched during his lifetime.

Inside the funeral home, James and Lily stood next to Mrs. Potter, receiving those who had come to say farewell to Mr. Potter. Lily was amazed by how well her mother-in-law was holding up. Although tears sparkled in her eyes and she clung to James's arm for support, she did her best to speak to each person who took her hand.

So many people had come. Lily had never realized exactly how popular the Potters were until she saw the number of mourners who made their way into the funeral home. Aside from nearly the entire wizarding world, Muggle friends, neighbors, and acquaintances from church made their way through the line to say a few words of comfort to the grieving family. Mr. Potter's coworkers were out in full-force. She was certain that the entire Auror department had come, each member wearing a black armband. They had all been at events like this one before; each knew the pain the family would be have to endure during the coming days and weeks.

James's friends were there, of course. All those he had played Quidditch with at Hogwarts were there, as well as many students Lily barely remembered, but who knew her and James as Head Girl and Boy. Many Hogwarts professors had come, including Professors Dumbledore, McGonagall and Flitwick. Danny, James's childhood friend that Lily had met on several occasions was there with his parents, his face stricken. She knew that he, like Sirius, had seen the Potters as a second set of parents; like Sirius, it was almost as if he was losing his own father.

Sirius, of course, was there. All their friends had made it, including Peter, who had been absent from their lives for several days. Lily was surprised to see a girl she assumed to be Rebecca hanging on Sirius's arm. She looked up at him with love and admiration in her eyes. Surprised the first time she noticed this look, Lily had searched for Olivia. She was standing with her former Quidditch teammates, nodding along with something that Eric was saying. Judging by the look on her face, she wasn't actually listening to a word that came out of his mouth. Lily was sure that Olivia, too, had observed the way Rebecca obviously felt about Sirius; she was glaring at them with something akin to hatred in her eyes. Lily prayed that she wouldn't make a scene at the funeral, and turned back to the woman who was trying to take her hand.

The funeral that James had organized took the form of a celebration of his father's life. Several people had been commissioned to give eulogies. An Auror spoke first, imparting words of praise regarding Harold Potter's long and prestigious career. A church member spoke next, discussing his generosity and compassion. A friend from school gave humorous anecdotes describing the way he would always remember his childhood friend.

Once that man took his seat again, Lily was surprised to see Sirius make his way to the front of the church. She had not known that James had asked Sirius to speak. She looked at her husband with raised eyebrows, but he did not meet her eyes. He stared straight at his friend, blinking repeatedly.

Sirius cleared his throat, and looked down at the paper he was holding, which shook slightly. "When James asked me to speak about his father, I was rather surprised. All right, I was shocked. When it comes to eloquence, I'm not usually anyone's first choice.

"But I did love his father, and I think that's the reason James asked me to do this. Mr. Potter truly was a second father to me. No, that's not right. He was more of a father to me than my own father ever was. My family never really formed a true family unit the way the Potters did. Everything I know about how to be part of a family and how to love, I learned from time spent with them.

"The Potters have always been there for me at the lowest points in my life. They have always taken me in and loved me. From the very first time I met them, they treated me as one of their own. In Mr. Potter I found for the first time a man I could truly look up to. He was everything I wanted to be – loving, just, caring and kind. He genuinely loved his family, and he wasn't afraid to show it. He was a strong, powerful man, but he only used those qualities to help others, never to harm them.

"He inspired me in so many ways. Without ever giving me a single traditional lesson, he taught me how to be a good person – he taught me how to be a man. It's because of him that I chose the career that I did, and because of him that I'm the person that I am today. He saved my life both figuratively and literally; it's because of him that I'm standing here today at all.

"The Potters took me in at a time when my own parents wanted nothing to do with me. They became like parents to me, to the point that James often referred to me as their 'favorite son.' Well, I don't know about that, but I do know that their love and kindness have meant the world to me. I know that I love their family like it is my own. I know that I'm grieving right along with them today." He paused and swallowed, blinking rapidly. "I know that –" His voice broke, and he swallowed again. "I know that I feel like I've lost my own father." He drew a deep breath. "I hope that Mr. Potter had some idea of how much he meant to me, of how much of a difference he made in my life. I never really told him, but I hope . . ."

His voice broke again, and this time he chose not to continue. He made his way down from the pulpit, stumbling slightly, only to be met in the aisle by Mrs. Potter. She put her arms around him, hugging him fiercely.

"He knew," she whispered. "He knew, and he loved you, too."

She released Sirius, both of their faces wet with tears. Sirius looked past her to James, who was also crying. Without saying a word, he threw his arms around his friend.

They stayed like that for a long moment, unashamed of being two men locked in a tight embrace. They were brothers, comforting one another after the death of their father.


	32. Coming to Terms

A/N: Thank you for reading and reviewing, and for your patience! You're all the best! Enjoy!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Coming to Terms

"Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to welcome our newest Aurors to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. I am certain that they will serve us well in times of battle and in times of peace, and will do their best to uphold the law as it has been written. Congratulations to you all, and welcome to our department."

Barty Crouch, Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, sat down to thunderous applause. Laura made a face. Dana, who saw the look on Laura's face, bit her lips to keep from laughing.

Lily smiled at the exchange between her two friends, and took her husband's arm. James looked down at her with a smile. Studying the faces of all her friends, Lily was certain that they were as proud of Sirius and Olivia as she was. Finally, after all their hard work, they were about to become Aurors. Even though she had had to take yet another day off work to attend their induction ceremony, Lily wouldn't have missed it for anything. After the sorrowful events of the earlier part of the week, a celebration was a welcome change.

The ceremony continued as Moody made his way up to the podium, limping heavily. The last battle, the one that had taken Mr. Potter's life, had cost Moody one of his legs. He was obviously still adjusting to walking on the wooden one that had been fashioned for him. Because physical ability was a vital part of his work, he had every reason to be bitter. Looking at him, it was obvious that he was not. His face shone with pride as he looked first at the new Aurors, then at the audience.

Olivia watched the man who had taught her everything she knew about battle make his halting progress across the stage. She knew that his job had been his life from his first day of Auror training on. He loved what he did, and she was certain that, given the chance, he would change nothing. Even his new disability, a souvenir of his work, could not deter his enthusiasm for his work. That in itself was an inspiration to her.

Was she the only one who felt this way? She looked from Moody to the Auror trainees who sat with her, knowing that these were her new colleagues in the professional world. There were so few of them – only fifteen. Fifteen remained of the fifty who had begun the program together after graduation from Hogwarts. Fifteen had made it through the rigorous training program. Fifteen had passed the inspections Moody and Frank Longbottom had devised. Fifteen had been proven worthy. Yes, they all had been touched by Moody's dedication, and they all now shared in some part of it. All fifteen would give their lives to defend their world.

Olivia glanced down the row, past every face until Sirius's came into focus. He, too, was watching Moody. She couldn't help noticing that her former boyfriend looked incredibly handsome in his new Auror robes. She bit her lips, trying to fight the sigh that wanted to escape. As much as she hated to admit it, even in her thoughts, she still loved him. She supposed that a part of her always would. She looked away from him, forcing her thoughts to safer ground. They were not meant to be, and that was that. She needed to get over him, to move on with her life.

"In recent years, our world has come in contact with an evil that at times seems unstoppable," Moody said, his voice uncharacteristically soft. "It had been through the dedication of soldiers such as those you see before you that we have been able to fight the battle for as long as we have. Many have fallen over the course of the war, and many more will follow them to a premature grave. Yet they all profess a desire to rid our world of dark magic, and they all stand behind those words with some of the bravest actions I have ever seen.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to recognize our new Aurors," Moody growled, his usual demeanor returning. "I have trained them all since they joined the program, and can confidently say that I trust them to defend me in a battle situation, provided that they practice constant vigilance."

Sirius grinned, a bit grateful that Moody had moved away from his emotional words. His oft-repeated mantra of "constant vigilance" brought all their thoughts to safer, happier ground. And he had to admit that the advice of "constant vigilance" had its benefits. It had saved his life more than once.

Still trying to keep himself from ill-timed laughter, he looked across at Olivia, wanting to see if she found their mentor's word choice as entertaining as he did. She was staring straight at Moody as if hanging on his every word. She wasn't looking at Sirius, trying to catch his eye as she might have, once upon a time. He blinked, realizing that she was no longer his to stare at. He shook his head slightly, and searched the audience for Rebecca. She was sitting alone, looking straight at him. He smiled at her, and received a beaming smile in return.

"All the young men and women you see here before you have passed through their training with great success, and are ready to begin their careers," Moody continued. "For the first year of their careers, they are required to work with a mentor, who will help them adapt to life as Aurors. Each new Auror will now be introduced with his or her mentor."

A ripple of emotion went through the new Aurors. They had all been waiting eagerly for notification of their mentors, whose identity remained a mystery until the ceremony. Both Olivia and Sirius were silently thankful that they had names at the beginning of the alphabet; they wouldn't have to wait much longer to learn their mentors' identities.

Moody took out a piece of parchment, and smoothed it out on the podium. "Auror Olivia Alexander; mentor, Frank Longbottom."

Olivia beamed as she stood to her feet. This was it; she was now an Auror! And Frank Longbottom would be her mentor. With his guidance, she would learn so much. She would be able to advance in the ranks, perhaps even becoming a top Auror. Frank grinned at her as he shook her hand, obviously infected by her excitement and enthusiasm.

While she applauded Olivia, Lily leaned over to James. "I wouldn't think Frank would want to take a mentee, since he's in charge of training and does so much for the Order."

James's jaw clenched. "He normally doesn't," he replied. "Olivia's mentor was supposed to be my dad."

"Oh," Lily said, feeling as though she had been slapped. She reached down to take his hand, lacing her fingers through his. "I didn't know."

"No, he wanted to keep it a secret. They don't find out who their mentors are until now."

"Oh," Lily said again.

She forced her attention back to the ceremony just in time to hear Moody call Sirius's name.

"Auror Sirius Black; mentor John Alexander."

Sirius felt the bottom drop out of his stomach as he heard his mentor's name. He fought to keep himself from closing his eyes as he stepped forward to greet his new adviser. They had assigned him to Olivia's brother, even knowing all that had happened between them? He was in for a rough year. Still, though, he was now an Auror. If he, Sirius Black, member of a family of dark wizards, could manage to become an Auror, he certainly could survive a year of having his former girlfriend's older brother as his mentor.

Lily just managed to stop her jaw from dropping, and began applauding her friend. Moody had assigned Olivia's brother as Sirius's mentor? Had he completely lost his mind? She looked at John, who would have obviously known of his new assignment to work with Sirius long before Sirius discovered it today.

John was looking at Sirius with what James called the "Auror mask." His face was completely void of discernable emotion. Sirius, on the other hand, was looking at his new mentor with a bit of trepidation. Even so, Lily could see the defiant glint in Sirius's eyes. He would prove himself a worthy Auror despite what John might think of him. He wouldn't let a difficult situation keep him from attaining his dream.

* * *

After the ceremony, the Department of Magical Law Enforcement threw a party to welcome the new Aurors. Laura grinned as she looked around the ballroom.

"Well, I will give the department credit," she said, her eyes taking in the lavish decorations and extensive tables of food. "They certainly know how to throw a party."

"That they do," Olivia said as she joined them. The beaming smile she had been wearing during the ceremony was still firmly in place.

"Congratulations, Liv!" Lily exclaimed, throwing her arms around her friend.

"Thanks," Olivia grinned.

As soon as Lily released her, Dana and Laura hugged her, followed by James, Remus, Peter and Aidan. She beamed, accepting congratulations from them all.

"I can't believe we've actually made it," she said. "It's been a long, difficult road, but I'm glad to be here."

"I always knew you could do it," James grinned. "After the way you managed to lead our Quidditch team to winning the Cup during seventh year, I'm sure you can do anything you put your mind to."

Olivia laughed, and waved her hand. "That was a group effort."

"But it was your determination that motivated the group," James countered.

She flushed, a bit uncomfortable with the praise, and changed the subject. "I still can't believe that Frank Longbottom is my mentor!"

"Does it make you nervous?" Dana asked.

"Sort of. I mean, I know him, which is good, but I also know how tough he is on his students, which isn't good. But we'll see how it goes. Most of the new Aurors are meeting with their mentors right now, but he said we'd meet later, since he has some official duties to attend to. I'm not sure if the suspense will kill me or not!" She giggled. "Shall we get something to eat, then?"

"Sure."

As they made their way toward the tables laden with food, Dana grabbed Lily's arm.

"Does that mean that Sirius is meeting with John right now?"

"I suppose," Lily said reluctantly.

Dana bit her lower lip. "I hope they both make it out alive."

* * *

"Right," John said. "We need to discuss our relationship for the next year. Now, I've never been a mentor before, so I'm going to base this on the way things worked between my mentor and I my first year."

"All right," Sirius said. He was waiting for John to start berating him for not wanting to marry his sister. He would rather get that part over with sooner rather than later.

"We'll going to set up professional goals for you to achieve this year, and we'll meet once a week to discuss your progress toward achieving them. During our meetings, we'll also discuss any difficulties or odd cases you've encountered. I've been an Auror for awhile now, so I'm sure I'll be able to offer you advice if you need it."

"Okay," Sirius said, still apprehensive.

"I think that's about it for right now," John said. "We'll set up meeting times on a week-by-week basis; you never know when something crazy will happen or a crisis will arise to disrupt our schedules. We'll set up your goals during our third meeting. I want you to get a feel for the profession before we do that."

"Okay," Sirius said again.

"Now, there should be good food at this party. Let's get over there before it's gone."

So they weren't going to even approach the issue? Sirius felt uneasy leaving it untouched. "John, wait."

"You have a question?"

"Sort of. About me and Olivia –"

John held up his hand to stop the flow of words. "Don't. Here we are both Aurors. Emotions and love lives are irrelevant to our work. That will be your first goal. You have to leave your personal life and anything that has happened to you outside of work at home. None of it comes to work with you. Understand? I am John Alexander and you are Sirius Black. We are two Aurors who work together, and who have a mentor-mentee relationship. As far as our current relationship goes, you never dated my sister, nor did you break her heart. Our personal feelings stay in a different realm.

"Now that we've cleared that up, let's get to the party."

Sirius blinked, and followed him to the ballroom. He hoped that John had meant what he had said. Judging by the comment about Sirius breaking Olivia's heart, he clearly had not forgiven him for not marrying her. He hoped that his mentor would be able to take his own advice, and leave his personal feelings outside of their working relationship.

* * *

As soon as he stepped into the ballroom, Rebecca threw herself at Sirius.

"Congratulations!" she exclaimed, standing on tiptoe to kiss him. "I've never been so proud of you!"

"Thanks," Sirius said with a grin, pulling her close to kiss her again. "Thanks for coming, too. It means a lot to me that you're here."

"Where else would I be?" she laughed. "I was so excited to see you up there. You looked so tall and so powerful."

Sirius grinned again. "What, not handsome?"

"You know you're gorgeous," she said dismissively. "I refuse to feed your ego anymore."

"Fine," Sirius laughed. "Let's go find my friends, shall we? It's definitely time that you met them. I should have introduced you long ago."

"I met some of them the night that I met you in the Three Broomsticks."

Sirius laughed. "Can you remember even one of their names?"

"James," she said defensively.

"Cheating," Sirius laughed. "You can't use him."

"And why not?"

"Well, first, he's my best mate, so I talk about him all the time. And second, we were just at his dad's funeral, so his name is right there in your mind."

She sighed, a hurt expression creeping into her eyes. "You know, you could have introduced me to them at the funeral. They were all there."

"Rebecca, you know I couldn't do that," Sirius sighed. "It was an awful day. I didn't want them to meet you there. Then they'd always associate you with James's dad's funeral." He smiled, and touched her cheek. "And, you, sweetheart, should never been associated with anything negative or sad."

She smiled, and put her small hand over his hand on her face. "All right. I forgive you. But I do want to meet them."

"Good," he said, taking her hand in his. "I know they want to meet you, too."

They crossed the room hand-in-hand, walking toward James and Lily, who were talking quietly to one another. James noticed them approaching first, and nudged Lily, nodding in their direction. Once Lily recognized Sirius, she gave them a glowing smile. Sirius dropped Rebecca's hand as they reached their friends, and grinned at them, preparing for the hug he knew would be forthcoming from Lily.

"Congratulations!" Lily exclaimed, throwing herself into Sirius's open arms.

Sirius grinned, hugging her close. "Thanks, Little Flower. I can't believe you took a day off work to come to this!"

Lily laughed. "Oh, yes, a day away from so much. Since I told Dorcas that I'm pregnant, she won't let me do anything fun!"

"And by that she means anything dangerous or stupid," James grinned. "Congratulations, Padfoot. I know my dad would be proud of you."

"Thanks," Sirius said, shaking James's hand. "That means a lot to me."

James nodded. "It's true. He was so excited for you."

Sirius smiled, and blinked quickly. He couldn't cry. Not again. Not here. Not now. He smiled instead, and took Rebecca's hand, pulling her forward.

"Rebecca, this is James Potter, who has been my best friend since I was eleven years old – in fact, he's more my brother than anything else. And this is his wife, Lily, who is also one of my best friends." He grinned. "I guess you could call her my favorite sister-in-law."

"He only says that because I feed him," Lily smiled, shaking Rebecca's hand. "It's wonderful to finally meet you, Rebecca."

"And you," Rebecca replied. "I feel like I know you both already, with all that Sirius has told me about you."

"Well, that can be good or bad," James laughed, taking her hand. "From what I can see, you've made Sirius very happy. I hope he's doing the same for you."

"Oh, he is," Rebecca replied, looking up at Sirius with adoring eyes. "He's a very special person."

In that moment, both Lily and James realized that Rebecca was clearly in love with Sirius. They glanced at one another, both a bit alarmed, neither knowing how Sirius felt about this sweet girl who had found her way into his life.

"Sirius! Congratulations!"

Remus, Laura and Peter approached, and Sirius began the introductions again. While Laura and Lily talked to Rebecca, James grabbed Sirius's arm.

"We need to talk soon, all right?" he asked.

Sirius nodded, his eyes betraying nothing. "Yeah, we do."

"Sirius!"

Sirius looked up, and saw Dana and Aidan coming toward him. He smiled, and waved them over, wanting to introduce them to Rebecca. It wasn't until they had reached him that he realized that they weren't alone.

Olivia was with them. He sucked in his breath quickly. This could be a _very_ awkward situation.

"Rebecca, these are my other friends," he said, trying to speak quickly. "This is Dana, who has been one of our group since Hogwarts, and her husband, Aidan, who was dragged into this mess because of her. And this is Olivia, who has also been with us from the beginning, and is now one of my coworkers."

"It's so nice to meet you all," Rebecca said, shaking all their hands. "Sirius talks about you all so much."

Peter quickly turned his laugh into a cough. James and Remus looked at him, beams of understanding passing between the three of them. Did Sirius truly talk about _all_ of them? Judging by her lack of reaction, Rebecca didn't know very much about Olivia. And judging by Olivia's narrowed eyes as she looked at the younger girl, it was only a matter of time before she erupted in anger.

* * *

Lily paced around the first floor of the house, going from room to room as she waited for James to come home from work. He had taken to coming home earlier in the days since his father had died, and she had rearranged her schedule accordingly so that she could arrive home around the same time. Today he was later than usual. She wasn't exactly worried, but she was anxious to talk to him.

True to his opinions immediately following the attack, James had thrown himself back into everyday life. Lily knew that Professor Dumbledore had told him to take off all the time he wanted, but she also knew that he didn't want to take time off. He honestly felt that the best way to heal was to stay busy.

She happened to disagree. She knew that he needed time to think about what had happened, and to adjust to it. And she knew just the way to help him do that.

A pop sounded in the living room, signaling that James had come home. She smiled, and left the kitchen to greet him.

"James, I have an idea."

"Hello to you, too," James grinned, putting his schoolbag down on the floor. "My day was fine, thanks. How was yours?"

In truth, his day _had_ been fine. Everyone had been wonderfully nice to him at school since his father's death. His students had, naturally, heard what had happened, and had been unusually studious. Several of his fifth year girls had gone together to purchase a floral arrangement for him. Although the last thing he needed was more flowers, he appreciated the gesture. Many of the other teachers had given him cards telling them that they would always been available to talk. Even Snape had ignored him recently, a welcome change from the usual evil looks and taunts he threw at James.

Even so, going to work, teaching, wasn't the same as it had been. He had over a hundred essays to grade, but couldn't motive himself to do it. Ever since his father had died, all his desire to work had disappeared. As much as he loved his job, he couldn't seem to reclaim his passion for it.

Lily giggled. "Hi. My day was fine."

He winked at her, and sat down on the couch, looking at her expectantly.

"I believe you said you have idea?"

Lily nodded, clutching her hands together in a nervous gesture. She wasn't sure how he would take this idea. "Well, the Easter holidays are coming up," she said. "And I know that you have time off work while the students are on their break."

"Thank goodness," James grinned. "I'm going to need the time to get myself in order. The number of essays I'll have to mark is staggering."

"Well," Lily said, crossing the room to stand behind him, "I was thinking that you might like a change of scenery while you mark those papers."

"What are you talking about?"

She leaned down from behind the sofa, and ran her fingers through his hair. "I was thinking that maybe I could take some time off work, and the two of us could get away for awhile. You know, we never really did much to celebrate our first anniversary, so I thought we could celebrate it a little late with a second honeymoon."

James turned his head to look up at her. "What?"

"We loved the Canary Islands before," Lily said. "What do you say we go back?"

"You're serious about this?"

"Very serious. I think it would be good for both of us, don't you?" She kept moving her fingers through his hair. "We could just relax, and forget about everything except each other. You know, it could be the last chance we have for awhile to be alone together."

James closed his eyes, letting her fingers continue to massage his head. He could already hear the ocean in his mind and see Lily lying on the beach next to him. "Yes," he murmured. "It would definitely do us good."

"Are you saying yes?" She had never dreamed that it would be so easy to convince him to go.

He opened his eyes, and smiled at her. "I'm saying yes."

He sat upright, and kissed her. She responded instantly, kissing him back. He smiled against her lips, and rose up onto his knees on the couch. Putting his arms around her waist, he lifted her over the back of the couch, pulling her down onto him.

"James!" she exclaimed as she fell on top of him, sending both of them sprawling across the couch.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked with concern.

"No," she said, ignoring the bruises that she was sure were forming all over her body where it had been dragged across the top of the furniture. "Did I hurt _you_? I'm not as light as I used to be, you know."

James laughed. "You're not that heavy."

She made a face. "Wait until you see me in a bathing suit."

He smiled, and kissed her again. "I love you, Lil. You're gorgeous, and you always will be. I can't wait to see you in a bathing suit."

* * *

But before he could see his wife model her swimsuit, James had important business to attend to with his friend. He and Sirius had agreed on a day and time to meet to discuss all the changes that were taking place in Sirius's life. At the appointed time, James Apparated to what had once been their shared flat.

When he arrived, Remus and Peter were already seated in the living room. James raised his eyebrows.

"Hey, guys," he said.

"Hey," they replied in unison.

"Good, James is here," Sirius said, coming in from the kitchen. He tossed each of his friends a butterbeer. "We can get started."

"I would have come sooner if I had known you were calling together a tribunal," James said, sitting down and opening his drink. "I didn't think punctuality was all that important today."

"Punctuality is always important," Sirius replied, taking his own seat. He glanced around at his friends. "All right, so we're here to discuss my screwed up love life."

James grinned. "Are we running this like an official meeting? If so, we'd better start by taking attendance."

"Sod off, Potter," Sirius grinned. "We're going to start by making sure that everyone is up to speed."

"Well, from what I've observed, you and Rebecca have been together for quite awhile," Peter said. "Personally, I'm impressed. You generally don't stay with girls this long. I guess your long-term relationship with Olivia really did affect you positively."

Sirius smiled painfully. "Ah, Wormtail. Well, yes, I have been with Rebecca for a while. And, as with most relationships, ours has progressed in many ways . . ."

James's eyes lit with understanding. "You're shagging her, aren't you?"

Sirius nodded. "I am."

James ran his hand through his hair. "How long?"

"Since – since the day your dad died."

James shook his head. "Is that the only way you know to deal with tragedy?"

"What are you talking about?"

"The night that Dana's dad died, you shagged Olivia."

Sirius's head snapped back a bit, and his eyes widened. "Did I? How do you remember that if I don't?"

"Because I was with Lily at the girls' flat that night. You and Olivia were there, too, obviously – Lily and I left pretty quickly, but it was still the most uncomfortable moment of our friendship."

Sirius laughed. "Yeah, I do remember that now. You guys didn't have to actually leave the flat."

"Yeah, we really wanted to hang around and listen," James said, his face disgusted.

"Let's focus on the present, please," Remus interrupted. "Sirius is far from through with the confessions for tonight."

Sirius grinned. "Moony became my confessor last week, so this is a bit of a repeat for him." He drew a deep breath. "Well, here goes. Rebecca told me that she loves me."

"Yeah, I knew that," Peter said at once.

"Me, too," James agreed.

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked. "You only met her for about an hour, and I know she wasn't confessing her deepest feelings to you – or to your wife, James."

"No, she didn't have to say anything," James said. "It was written all over her face."

"The way she looked at you – it was very obvious," Peter added.

Sirius's eyes looked ready to pop out of his head. "Do you think that Olivia saw it?"

"Unless she's blind, yes," Remus said.

"Why so worried about Olivia?" James asked. "I mean, Padfoot, that relationship is over. Done. Olivia is your past. Rebecca is your present, as well as your indefinite future."

Sirius dropped his head down into his hands. "You're an arse, Potter."

James sighed. "You still love Olivia, don't you?"

Sirius looked up. "I don't know! I don't know who I love and who I don't!"

Peter exhaled. "So, you're shagging Rebecca even though you may not love her?"

"I care about her," Sirius said defensively.

"But, Sirius, if she loves you, don't you think you're doing her a disservice by shagging her? I mean, I'm sure she thinks that you love her as much as she loves you," James said.

"Do you think so?" Sirius frowned. "I've never actually said the words."

"If you're shagging her, I'm not sure you'd need to," Peter said hesitantly. "Don't girls take that as a sign of how you feel or something?"

Sirius dropped his head down into his hands.

"Look, Sirius, don't you remember seventh year, when one of your many girlfriends left you because she wanted more than a snogging buddy?" Remus said.

"Yeah," Sirius said, looking up with a frown. "I don't see what that has to do with this, though."

"It's the same effect," Remus said. "You always cared about the girls, but never as much as they cared about you – not until Olivia, at any rate. You kept them around, used them as snogging buddies, then got rid of them. Right now, you care about Rebecca, but not as much as she cares about you. You're keeping her around for a shagging buddy."

Sirius flinched. "If I wanted a shagging buddy, it wouldn't be her. I'd take up with one of the girls at the Academy – believe me, she's offered. I'd sleep with her whenever I wanted, but our relationship would be just that – meaningless shagging. At least, that's the way she outlined it when she told me what she wanted from me."

"Some girl actually offered you that?" Peter asked in shock.

"Ages ago," Sirius said dismissively. "It was right after Olivia and I broke up."

"And you're just now telling us?" James asked.

Sirius shrugged. "It seemed irrelevant. I wasn't about to take her up on it. I'd like a bit more than a shagging buddy, thank you very much," he finished, giving Remus a pointed look.

Remus held up his hands. "I'm just saying that that's what it looks like to the casual observer."

"You're more than a casual observer, and you know it," Sirius said. "All of you are. You're my friends. You're involved."

"Sadly, we are," James grinned.

"So, advise me," Sirius said. "What should I do?"

"The first thing you need to do is to decide what you want," James said. "Then go from there."

"Decide what I want?"

"You need to choose," Remus said. "Would you rather be with Olivia or Rebecca?"

"Oh, man."

"Remember," Peter added. "You know that Rebecca wants you, so no matter what you do, you have to be careful about her feelings. And, you're not sure if Olivia wants you, so if you choose her, you have to be careful of yours."

* * *

Lily took her favorite sundress out of her closet, holding it up and looking at it critically. Would it still fit her? She held it up against her body, sighing as she smoothed it over her stomach.

"You know, you really are limiting my wardrobe," she said, running her hand over her curved stomach. "Can't you wait until we get back from the Canary Islands to grow more? If you could try to tuck yourself up to be smaller until we get back, I'd appreciate that, too."

"Talking to yourself is a sign of insanity, you know."

Lily screamed and jumped, clutching her dress tightly against her body. She whirled around to see Olivia standing in her bedroom doorway. "Olivia! You scared me to death!"

"You're still standing," Olivia said dismissively. "Who were you talking to?"

"The baby."

Olivia grinned, and crossed the room to touch Lily's abdomen. "Do we have a name yet?"

"Either Brenna or Harry," Lily said.

"Those are great names," Olivia said quietly, knowing that they honored the baby's fallen grandparents. She blinked, and looked away from Lily's serene face.

Lily smiled. "Thanks. But somehow I doubt that you came all the way over here to discuss baby names."

"No," Olivia admitted. "And, I might add that you are nearly impossible to find! Why aren't you at work? You know I hate dealing with your guard dog!"

"I've told you before, she's harmless," Lily laughed. "James and I are leaving for Spain tomorrow. I took today off to pack. Although, judging by the way that nothing I own will fit me anymore, I took today off to shop. Why aren't _you_ at work?"

"I'm a new Auror, so I get the most bizarre shifts known to man. Today I'm working from four in the afternoon till midnight."

"Well, that's fun," Lily said sarcastically. "But if you went to the Prophet to look for me, braving our secretary, I'm guessing you weren't just in the mood for idle chit-chat."

Olivia shook her head. "I need to talk to you, Lils."

"All right," Lily said, sitting down on the bed. "What's on your mind?"

"Sirius." She sighed, and ran her hands over her face. "He's shagging Rebecca, isn't he?"

Lily's eyes widened. "Liv . . ."

Olivia nodded. "I thought so. I could see the way that she was looking at him during the induction party. She's in love with him. She was looking at him like she belongs to him completely – and, knowing Sirius's reputation, that can only mean one thing."

Lily shook her head. "You're not giving Sirius enough credit."

"Not giving him enough credit?" Olivia exploded, her calm demeanor gone. "I dated him, Lil! I know what he's all about!"

"Liv, you just referenced his reputation. He and James had pretty much the same reputation at Hogwarts, and we both know how wrong everyone was about them. Yes, they had lots of girlfriends, but they weren't shagging them."

"We're out of Hogwarts now," Olivia replied. "And can you honestly tell me that he's not shagging this girl?"

Lily sighed, wishing she had never asked James how his conversation with Sirius had gone. Then maybe she would be able to honestly claim ignorance. "No, I can't."

Olivia's face fell. "He _is_ shagging her?"

Lily nodded slowly. "That's what he told James."

Without warning, Olivia burst into tears. Lily was off the bed in an instant, pulling her into a comforting hug.

"Oh, Liv," she sighed. "It's going to be all right."

"How, exactly?" Olivia sobbed. "I still love him, Lils! My God! I love him so much! I never wanted to break up with him! I wanted us to be together forever. But he didn't want that then, and he clearly doesn't now!"

Lily remained silent, hugging her friend tightly. She didn't know what to say. She had never been in this position. She had never lost the man she loved to another woman.

"Does he love her?"

"What?"

"What did James say?" Olivia sniffed. "Or Sirius himself, for that matter. You two have always been close. What did he tell you? Does he love her?"

"I don't know," Lily said honestly. "But I know that he does care about her a lot."

Olivia pulled away from Lily, and wiped angrily at her tears. "Then it's time for me to get over him."

"How do you intend to do that?" Lily said, hating that she and James were leaving in the morning. Olivia clearly needed her.

"Do you remember when he first started dating that whore, and I said I was going to find a new man?"

"Yes," Lily said, ignoring the insult to Rebecca. "You dated quite a few different men, as I recall."

"Yes," Olivia acknowledged. "Now it's time to find a permanent one."

"What?"

"If he can fall in love again, so can I," she said stubbornly. "I'm going to find someone who will love me as much as Sirius did."

"Liv . . ."

"No," Olivia said quickly. "He's going to love me even more than Sirius did. He's going to want to _marry_ me."

"You're going to find someone to marry?" Lily asked nervously.

Olivia looked at her with wide-eyed innocence. "Isn't that what everyone's looking for, Lily?"

Lily sucked in her breath quickly. "But if that someone isn't Sirius?"

"He doesn't want me," Olivia said, blinking quickly to hide her tears. "So I'm going to find someone who does."

"But if you still love Sirius . . ."

"I'm sure I can love someone else just as much."

"But, Liv, if you think that Sirius is the one for you . . ."

Olivia smiled sadly. "Lils, I know you believe that there's one perfect person out there for everyone. I did, too. But I don't anymore. I think that you can love many different people at many different points in your life. I loved Sirius for a long time. But he doesn't love me anymore. So, it's time for me to find someone else to love." She smiled her sad smile again. "And maybe you're right. Maybe there is one specific person for everyone. If that's the truth, then Sirius clearly isn't the one for me, not if he's fallen out of love with me. I need to stop wasting my time wishing that I was still with him, and to find the one I'm meant to be with."

She gave Lily a triumphant smile. Lily tried to smile back, but failed. Her emotions were swirling around almost as much as Olivia's. Should she tell her friend that Sirius could still love her? That he wasn't sure of his own feelings?

No, she couldn't. She'd only get Olivia's hopes up, and if Sirius decided that Rebecca was the love of his life, Olivia would have her heart broken again. Lily couldn't do that to her. She held her tongue, and prayed that her friends would work everything out. Whether they ended up together or apart, she only wanted both of them to be happy.


	33. Moving On

A/N: Sorry about the delay in posting this chapter – my computer went a little crazy over the weekend, and lost its internet abilities. But, now it's fixed, and I'm back in action!

This gets a titch naughtier than usual at the end. I still stand by my PG-13 rating, but if you're offended, I apologize. I don't think it's too awful, and I really hope it doesn't offend anyone.

As a reminder, my next update will be on 25 February. Thanks again for reading and reviewing! Enjoy!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Moving On

Some dance to remember,  
Some dance to forget  
- _Hotel California_, The Eagles 

"Do you have everything?" James asked as he did a shrinking charm on their luggage in preparation to Apparate to the Canary Islands.

Lily grinned. "This was the easiest packing job ever. I took everything straight from the bags from the stores and put it in my suitcases."

James laughed, and shook his head. "Was an entire new wardrobe appropriate for a week-long vacation?"

"Yes," Lily said a bit defiantly. "Nothing I used to wear fits me anymore! And this is all your fault, you know – you're the one who got me pregnant."

James laughed again. "As I recall, you were a very willing participant in that."

Lily flushed, and smiled. "Guilty as charged."

He smiled, and looked at her closely. Even though she was teasing him as much as he was teasing her, he could tell that her heart wasn't in it. Something wasn't quite right with her.

"Are you all right?"

Lily looked at him with a smile. "Yes," she said.

"Are you sure?" He knew that she was lying, and she knew that he knew it.

"I'm just a little worried about Olivia," Lily admitted.

James sighed. "Lil, Olivia and Sirius have to come to terms with this on their own. We can't tell them how to live their lives, and we can't force them to get back together." He smiled, and pulled her close. "We're only going to be gone for a week. Let's take that time to focus on us, and only us."

Lily smiled, and snuggled close to him. "I like that idea."

"Good." He kissed the top of her head, and released her. "Besides, how much trouble can they get into in a week?"

* * *

"_Dana,_

"_We're going out. Meet me at the Three Broomsticks at ten tonight, and dress for a night on the town!_

"_- Olivia"_

After sending an identical message to Laura, Olivia knew she was ready for her evening activities. It was time to put her plan into action. She was as deserving of a man who loved her as anyone else – and it was time to find him. Both Dana and Laura were married, but that didn't matter. They would still have fun. Besides, her friends' martial status would cut down on her competition for the single men. She grinned in anticipation. She could hardly wait.

* * *

"_Sirius,_

"_I want to make you dinner tonight. Come over after work. _

"_See you then!_

"Love, Rebecca" 

Sirius sighed as he read the closing. His friends were right. She truly did love him. Did he love her?

Well, there was only one way to find out, and that was to spend more time with her. If she wanted to cook for him, then that was an added bonus. He quickly scribbled a reply promising to visit, and sent it off with her owl. He smiled to himself, knowing that the excitement he felt over seeing her in just a few hours was probably an indication of how much he cared about her.

* * *

"I love this hotel," James grinned as they entered their room.

He immediately crossed to the double doors that led to the balcony, and threw them open. He stepped outside, and watched the surf rolling in across the beach. Children ran across the sand shrieking with laughter, older couples walked arm in arm, and newly-weds splashed one another in the surf. His eyes barely saw any of them as he let his thoughts wander, carrying him a million miles away from the tropical paradise before him.

Lily followed him outside, and put her arms around him from behind. "Are you all right?"

He turned to her with a smile. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"James . . ." She sighed. "You've been through a lot recently, that's all. You know I'm here for you if you want to talk, right?"

He turned around fully, and wrapped his arms around her. "I love you, Lil. I love you for your concern, and for how much you love me. But I really need to deal with this on my own, all right? I know you're here for me, and I know that I can always talk to you."

"Good," she smiled.

He kissed her gently. "What do you say we go down to the beach? We still have plenty of daylight left."

Lily wrinkled her nose. "That means I have to put on my bathing suit already."

"Yes," James grinned. "And I can't wait to see you in it."

* * *

"Sirius? Are you ready for our meeting?"

Sirius nodded, and rose from his desk. He had nearly forgotten about his meeting with his mentor – at least, forgetting about it had been his objective. It wasn't that he wanted to miss the meeting; it was more that he didn't want to let the overriding dread of it occupy his thoughts for the entire day.

But now there was no more putting it out of his mind. It was eight-thirty, their appointed meeting time. Gathering his binders and papers, he followed John to his office.

John's office was much more impressive than Sirius's. As a new Auror, Sirius shared his office, which was one of the smallest the department had to offer, with two other new Aurors. Fortunately, neither of them was Olivia. He didn't know if he would be able to handle that amount of awkwardness. Having her brother serve as his mentor was awful enough.

"Have a seat," John invited, indicating one of the chairs in front of his desk. He sat down behind it, and looked at Sirius expectantly. "How was your week?"

"Fine," Sirius said.

John raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"A bit boring," Sirius admitted. "I had rather thought that I'd begin with field work right away. I didn't expect to be doing all this paperwork."

"That's half of being an Auror," John replied. "Everyone just thinks they can jump right into the difficult missions, but you have to work your way up to that."

"Even now?" Sirius asked bluntly.

"What do you mean by that?" John asked. "Why should the rules be any different for you? I know that you don't necessarily abide by the accepted way of doing things in all facets of your life, but you have to expect to follow the norms here."

Sirius took a deep breath, reminding himself that he would treat John the same way if their roles were reversed. Not for the first time, he thought of Lily, who was as much his sister as James was his brother. If someone had broken her heart, he would never have been as kind to him as John was being to Sirius.

John looked at him with raised eyebrows, taking his silence for agreement. "Do you see my point, then?"

"Yes, I understand what you're trying to say," Sirius replied. "But, what I was asking was more if we have the manpower to allow any of us to sit around in the office. We're in the middle of a war, battling an evil that appears to be impossible to destroy. With the number of Aurors who are lost everyday, doesn't it make more sense to use everyone we have in the field?"

John shook his head. "Not unless you know what you're doing."

"I've just gone through an incredibly intense training program! I should think that I do know what I'm doing!"

"Nothing can prepare you for real battle," John said softly. "Don't be too eager to rush into it. You have your entire career to put your life on the line. Enjoy the less-dangerous work that you're doing now, and enjoy being safe."

Sirius was about to protest that he did know what real battle was, but held his tongue. As an Order member, he had been thrown onto the battlefield. As an Auror trainee, he had been assigned practice drills. His life was not the same as that of a normal new Auror, but that was something that John could never know. Order members did not publicize their identities. Dumbledore and Moody insisted on secrecy for the protection of all those involved in the Order.

John sighed, and ran his hands over his face. "Look, do you mind if we cut this short tonight? I've worked late every night this week, and I'd really like to get home in time to tuck my girls into bed."

"That's fine," Sirius said, as eager to leave the office as John was. "When shall we meet again?"

"Let's say next week at this time," John replied. "If something comes up, we can change it."

Sirius nodded. "Fine."

"Good." John rose to his feet. "If you need anything, let me know."

Sirius nodded again. "I will. Thanks, John."

"You're welcome."

Sirius made his way out of the office, barely suppressing his smile. He wondered if anyone would notice if he slipped out early. John would be gone, so he would never know. And Rebecca was waiting for him . . .

"BLACK!"

Sirius refrained from jumping in surprise, knowing that if he did, Moody would hex him on the spot. Sirius had learned that "constant vigilance" meant not showing surprise when his name was bellowed down a corridor from behind him.

"Yes?" he asked, turning to face his teacher.

"I need a word with you," Moody growled. He grabbed Sirius's arm, and dragged him into his office, which was even nicer than John's. "Have a seat."

Sirius sat down in front of Moody's desk, feeling the familiar dread of having done something wrong. He felt as though he had been transported back in time, and was about to be reprimanded by Professor McGonagall.

"Why the frightened face?" Moody asked, sitting down heavily. "Not a guilty conscience, I hope?"

"No, sir," Sirius said, looking Moody in the eye. "I just can't think of why you have called me here."

"Well, let me start by telling you that you've shown impressive restraint since you began with us as a full Auror," Moody said. "I know you don't like to sit and watch the action pass you by, yet you have managed to do just that. You also have had the rather difficult situation of working closely with Miss Alexander's brother, and you have managed to do that with success. You have impressed both Frank and I."

"Thank you, sir," Sirius replied, wondering where this was going.

"Let me get to the point," Moody continued. "Normally, our new Aurors are required to do desk work for six months. However, we are going to make an exception for you."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "John's not going to like that. He just gave me a speech about all Aurors needing to follow the rules."

"Yes, a dose of rule-following wouldn't hurt you," Moody said with a slight chuckle. "However, we need good Aurors more than you need to learn respect for regulations. You have more than proven yourself in the past, and we need you out in the field. Don't worry about your mentor. I'll talk to him."

"Are you going to tell him . . .?"

"He doesn't need to know of your extracurricular activities," Moody said, as close as any of them ever came to referring to the Order at work. "As with all our field Aurors, you will be assigned a partner."

"Who will that be?"

Moody looked deeply into his eyes. "Miss Alexander."

Sirius's eyes widened. "Sir, I know I can't tell you what to do, but . . ."

"I know all about what has happened," Moody said. "I know that the two of you were in a very involved relationship, and that it has ended. I don't know any more details than that, and I don't want to. However, I also know that you are both gifted Aurors, and that you work very well together." He leaned forward. "In order to do our best work, in order to win this war, we sometimes must align ourselves with those we would rather not. Part of assigning Mr. Alexander as your mentor was to teach you to work with those you would rather not. Consider that experience training for this one."

Sirius nodded dumbly. "Does Olivia know?"

"Not yet. She has today off, so I'll tell her tomorrow when she comes in. Please don't mention it to her until I've had a chance to talk to her."

Sirius nodded again. "When will we begin?"

"Next week. I'd advise you to be prepared."

* * *

When Laura walked into the Three Broomsticks, Dana was already there. She breathed a sigh of relief as she crossed the bar to sit down with her friend. She had hoped that they would both beat Olivia there.

"Hi," she said, taking an empty seat at the table Dana had managed to secure.

"Hi," Dana replied with a smile. "I'm glad you got here early. I was hoping that we could beat Liv here. We need to talk."

"I was thinking the same thing," Laura grinned. "What is going on? Why are we here?"

"I don't know anything for sure," Dana admitted, "but I've been friends with Olivia since we were eleven years old, and I can tell you from experience that she's flying off the handle. She's upset over Sirius and Rebecca, and she wants revenge."

"Revenge?" Laura repeated with raised eyebrows.

"Well, in a sense. She wants to get back at Sirius for his relationship with Rebecca by finding a new man."

"But Sirius has been with Rebecca for a long time now. Why would she wait this long?"

"Because until she saw them together at the ceremony, Rebecca was just a fantasy. She was some woman that Sirius was seeing in the abstract sense. But when she actually met her, Rebecca became a real person – or, to put it in perhaps more accurate words, she became a real rival."

Laura shuddered involuntarily. "She's not going to do anything to hurt Rebecca, is she?"

"Not physically, if that's what you mean. But if she manages to get Sirius back, she is certainly going to hurt her emotionally."

Laura nodded, remembering what Remus had said about Rebecca's love for Sirius. "Does Olivia consciously want to hurt her?"

Dana shook her head. "She's not the type to consciously hurt anyone. I think she truly does want to move on, and to get over Sirius. But I think that this is also a way of hurting him as much as he's hurt her, you know? She wants him to see her with someone else – to see her _happy_ with someone else."

"What are we going to do?" Laura sighed.

"We're going to be supportive friends," Dana said firmly. "If she wants to find a new man, we're going to help her find him."

"All right," Laura said a bit uncertainly.

"It'll be all right," Dana assured her. "We won't let her do anything stupid. That's why we're here." She smiled. "That's what friends are for, right?"

Laura smiled, too. "Right." Her smile faded as a slight frown crossed her face. "But why is she doing this without Lily?"

Dana shook her head. "I don't know. Maybe she's afraid she'll talk her out of it. Lily's always been closer to Sirius than you or I – they were good friends even before she started dating James. She probably doesn't want to have someone that close to Sirius around to watch her play the field, as it were."

Laura shook her own head. "This could be harder than we thought."

* * *

"Lil, honestly, your hair looked fine before!"

Lily stepped out of the bathroom with a strand of red hair curled around her wand. She looked at James with wide-eyed innocence. "I thought you liked it curly."

"I love it no matter what you do to it," he said. "Right now, I'd really like to eat dinner. This country's food schedule is ridiculous! Who waits until after nine o'clock for dinner?"

"Spain," Lily replied, releasing her hair from her wand. "Don't you remember how late we ate every night during our honeymoon?"

"I don't remember much other than how much fun we had," he admitted. "If I had remembered that they try to starve their tourists here, I would have suggested that we go to France instead."

Lily laughed. "You'll live, love. Just let me finish curling my hair, and we can go get something to eat."

James sighed, and sat down on the bed, prepared to wait. In his opinion, Lily's hair maintenance always took far too long.

* * *

The hands of the clock had never moved so slowly. As the end of his shift approached, Sirius found himself checking the timepiece every three minutes. He just wanted to leave, and to visit Rebecca. The more he thought about her, the more he couldn't wait to see her.

Finally, the clock struck ten. The long workday was finally over. The only thing standing between him and Rebecca was the amount of him that it would take him to Apparate to her flat. Grinning to himself, he Disapparated.

* * *

Olivia walked into the Three Broomsticks promptly at ten. Dana and Laura were already there, sitting at a table in the center of the room. Both girls were, as instructed, dressed for a night out. Olivia grinned, and readjusted the straps of her shimmering silver tank top. They were going to have fun.

"Hey, ladies," she said, sitting down with them.

"Well, I see you took your own instructions to heart," Dana grinned. "You look great, Liv."

"Thanks," Olivia smiled. "So do both of you."

"You're lucky I decided not to throw out my clubbing clothes when I got married," Laura said, toying with the zipper on the side of her skirt. "My sister got rid of hers, and she told me to do the same. But, for some reason, I didn't want to."

"Every girl is entitled to a night of dancing, regardless of her marital status," Olivia replied.

"That's true," Dana said, fluffing up her hair. "But what brought about this idea?"

"We can't have a girls' night out?" Olivia asked.

"Without Lily?" Laura asked, consciously avoiding looking at Dana. "Unlikely. What's going on, Liv?"

"First of all, Lily probably wouldn't want to come. She's been very careful about what she does since she found out she's pregnant. And that means that she wouldn't want to be in smoky bars and clubs, and that she certainly wouldn't drink. So, it makes sense to do this while she and James are gone."

"All right, I agree that Lily wouldn't want to do this," Laura said, nodding her head.

"But that still doesn't answer the _why_ of it all," Dana added.

Olivia smiled. "Well, you're both married, so I know you won't want to be a part of this, but I want to find a new man."

"So we're going clubbing?" Laura laughed. "Liv, a club is _not_ the place to meet a potential boyfriend!"

"Yeah, she's right," Dana agreed. "Clubs are pretty much full of men who are looking for a girl for the night, if you understand what I'm trying to say."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "We're perfectly nice, respectable girls, and we've been to clubs before. Who's to say that men don't do the same?"

"Men who go dancing for the sheer love of dancing?" Laura asked incredulously. She giggled. "I don't think they're interested in _you_, love, regardless of what you wear."

Olivia waved her hand with a grin. "Not _every_ man who dances for the fun of it is gay!"

"The percentage is a bit high for the odds to be in your favor," Dana said. "Let's hang around here for awhile, though. The Three Broomsticks brings in a pretty respectable clientele. We might be able to find you a man in here somewhere."

"You do work with men, you know," Laura offered. "Why not look for someone there?"

Olivia looked horrified. "Date an Auror? No way! I can barely handle living with my own schedule. I can't even imagine trying to deal with mine as well as someone else's!"

"Okay, bad suggestion," Laura replied, biting back the remark that she wanted to make about Sirius being an Auror. Olivia hadn't had much trouble working her schedule around his. "I'm just trying to think of alternatives to the bar scene, I guess."

"It's all right, Laura," Dana said. "We can find Olivia a man here. Or, at least, we can try. And now that she has this new attitude, we can be on the look-out for her."

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here," Olivia said peevishly. "And what do you mean by 'new attitude?'"

"You've been a bit preoccupied with Sirius," Dana said delicately. "Which is fine, considering how long you dated him, and how in love you two were. You needed time to get over him. But, if you're ready to move on, we're here to help."

Olivia's eyes widened. "Lily didn't seem too excited about the possibility."

Dana smiled. "We all wanted to see you and Sirius married, Liv. It seemed so perfect. I mean, Lily and James, Laura and Remus, me and Aidan . . . we all were marrying our sweethearts from Hogwarts. We all assumed that you and Sirius would follow suit."

"But that wasn't meant to be," Laura said, her eyes a bit sad. "And if you're ready to move on, we're ready to help you do that."

Olivia smiled. Could she ask for better friends?

* * *

"All right," Lily said, stepping out of the bathroom. "I'm ready when you are."

James put down the paper he had been reading, and looked at Lily questioningly. "I thought you were curling your hair?"

Lily laughed, and brushed a straight lock back from her face. "Well, it ended up looking ridiculous, so I straightened it. I think it's been acting weird because of all the hormones that are going crazy in my body – which makes this your fault, too."

James shook his head. "I am far too hungry to see the humor in this situation."

Lily smiled. "All right, I'll stop, then. Where would you like to go for dinner?"

"The hotel has three restaurants. Shall we try one of those?"

"All right, then."

Lily took James's arm as they made their way to the lobby. "I'm sorry I took so long to get ready."

"It's all right," he said, giving her a smile. "Waiting didn't kill me."

She grinned, and ran her hand over his arm. "I should say not."

They found one of the restaurants, and stepped up to the host. James spoke to him quietly for a moment, and then they were quickly shown to a table by the window, overlooking the ocean. Lily looked out for a moment, watching the light from the half-moon dance across the waves. She turned to James with a beaming smile.

"This is perfect. How did we manage to get this table?"

James smiled. "Well, since you took so long to get ready, I thought I'd make sure we had a nice meal."

"You organized this?"

He nodded. "You deserve a special dinner."

"Why? Because I took so long with my hair?"

"No," he said, looking deeply into her eyes. "You deserve this because of all you've done for me since my dad died. If it weren't for you and your idea to come here, I'd still be at home, trying to force myself back into life. But now I'm here with you in this paradise, remembering why I've always loved everything about my life – remembering why I love _you_ so much. So, we're here at this fantastic table so I can thank you for all you've done to help me."

Lily flushed. "I'm not doing anything you didn't do for me once upon a time," she said softly. "And I'm doing this because I love you, James."

He smiled. "Thank you."

"Thank you?"

"Yes. Thank you for reminding me of our wonderful honeymoon and our wonderful past together. Thank you for reminding me of the future that lies before us. Thank you for loving me. I love you, too."

* * *

Sirius Apparated into Rebecca's flat, and opened his eyes. It appeared to be empty, which made him a bit nervous. Was it some sort of a trap? If so, what had happened to Rebecca and her father? His chest tightened at the thought. He was an Order member; he was used to having dark wizards after him. He had never thought that he could bring that danger into another's life. _Please, please don't let her be in danger because of me._ He reached for his wand as he looked around with the eyes of a trained Auror.

"Rebecca?" he called. "Are you here?"

"Right here!"

He breathed a sigh of relief as she came out of her bedroom, still trying to attach a silver earring to her ear. "Hey," he smiled, releasing his wand.

"Hey, yourself," she replied, making her way across the room to him.

She put her arms around his neck, and he responded by snaking his arms around her waist, his fingers loving the feel of the black silk of her dress. He leaned down to kiss her, but let his lips hover above hers for a moment.

"Where's your father?"

"Out for the night," she said. "He's playing cards with some old cronies, which means he won't be back until well after midnight."

"Good," Sirius said, lowering his lips to hers.

She responded instantly, letting her lips caress his. She moaned softly as his hands began to move over her body, and pulled away.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked, his eyes a bit glazed.

"I made you dinner, and I expect you to eat it," she replied with a smile. "We can talk about dessert later."

Laughing, Sirius nodded. "All right. What have you made us for dinner?"

"A traditional French meal," she said proudly, leading him to the table, where everything was already laid out.

"I've never eaten French food before," Sirius admitted.

"Really?" she asked incredulously. "How is that possible?"

Sirius shrugged. "I've never had the opportunity, I suppose."

"Well, you are going to love this," Rebecca said. "Let's start with some French wine."

"I love it already," Sirius said, watching her pour the wine into their glasses.

She smiled as she handed a glass to him, then took the other in her own hand. "Shall we make a toast?"

Sirius nodded, and raised his glass. "To you," he said simply.

"To me?"

"Yes," he grinned. "For making me this wonderful dinner tonight, and for caring about me everyday. For making me feel special."

"You are special," she said, a slight flush creeping across her cheeks.

"So are you," Sirius said.

"In that case, let's make this toast to us," Rebecca said. "To us, and to our relationship."

Sirius nodded, and clinked his glass against hers. "To us."

* * *

"What do you think of the selection?" Dana asked, taking a sip of her butterbeer.

"I think I'm never going to find a man here," Olivia replied. "Look, those four over there are clearly married. I can see their rings from here. Those three there are far too old for me. Those six over there look like they sneaked out of Hogwarts to be here. And those two over there . . . Well, I think they're sitting a bit close together."

"Ha," Laura said triumphantly. "See? I told you."

"We're not even at a club yet," Olivia said, rolling her eyes. "You said the guys in the clubs would be gay, not the ones at the bars!"

"Close enough."

Olivia looked at her sharply. "Are you all right, Laura? You look a little pale."

Laura waved her hand impatiently. "Have you been talking to Remus? I'll tell you the same thing I've been telling him – I'm _fine_! I just couldn't fall asleep last night, that's all. I'm a little tired."

"All right, all right," Olivia said, holding up her hands. "I was just a little worried, that's all. You're not normally so washed-out."

Laura shrugged. "I had intended to catch up on my sleep tonight, but _someone_ decided we needed a night on the town."

"All right," Olivia laughed. "Let's give it half an hour, then we can give up and go home. We'll skip the clubs tonight. What do you say?"

"Fine by me," Laura replied, trying not to let her relief show. She _was_ rather tired.

"Good plan," Dana agreed.

"Good," Olivia said, scanning the crowded bar again. She placed her empty glass on the table. "I'm going to get another. Can I get you girls anything?"

"I'm fine," Dana said, shaking her half-full beverage.

"Me, too," Laura said, lifting her own glass.

Olivia nodded, and made her way to the bar. She stood there for several moments waiting to catch the bartender's attention. She didn't see Madam Rosmerta anywhere, which she assumed was the reason she had to wait. The owner was always very adamant about taking good care of any friend of James, Sirius, Remus and Peter. She let her thoughts tumble around, remembering all the times they had come to this bar during Hogsmeade weekends while they were at Hogwarts. They had always had so much fun. She smiled slightly to herself as the memories washed over her.

"Am I missing a joke?"

Olivia's head jerked up at the sound of the deep voice so close to her. She looked up – way up – to look into the dark, laughing eyes of the stranger. Dark hair fell across his forehead, and his smile revealed straight, white teeth. Her breath caught in her throat. He was absolutely gorgeous! And the appropriate age!

"Ah, I'm sorry," he said with a teasing smile that displayed a dimple on his left cheek. "Do you not speak English?"

Olivia laughed. "No, I speak English. You just surprised me, that's all."

"Well, I'm sorry," the man replied. "I just saw you standing here alone, and thought maybe you could use some company while you waited for service."

"And wanting a drink yourself had nothing to do with it?" Olivia asked with a teasing smile of her own.

"Got me there," he laughed. "But, considering the amount of people here right now, it looks like we're going to be waiting for awhile. We might as well wait together."

"Sure," Olivia replied, leaning on the bar. "And who am I waiting with?"

"I'm Greg Wilson." He smiled, his eyes twinkling. "I think I know who you are, but I could be wrong. What is your name?"

"Olivia Alexander," she said, shaking his offered hand. "But I don't know how you know me. I don't remember ever seeing you around here before."

"You don't remember me?"

"Should I?" she asked with a frown.

"Maybe," he laughed. "We went to Hogwarts together. I was in Ravenclaw – I think I was about four years ahead of you."

"And you remember me?" she asked, taken aback.

"Of course," he said with a grin. "How could I forget one of Gryffindor's unstoppable Chasers? Ravenclaw had an unbeatable side put together the year that you and James Potter joined your team. If it hadn't been for you two we would have won the Cup that year. Even my amazing Seeker skills couldn't compete with the two of you."

Olivia laughed. "Sorry to have cheated you – just in case you were wondering, winning the Cup felt great."

"Just rub a little salt in that wound," Greg laughed.

Olivia grinned. "I just wanted to make sure you knew how it felt to win. _Did_ you ever win during your time at Hogwarts?"

"No," he said with an exaggerated sigh. "Well, actually, Ravenclaw won my first two years, but I wasn't on the team then. By the time I joined, Slytherin had put together one of the best teams Hogwarts had ever seen. Then you and Potter started playing, and it was all over. Are the two of you playing professionally now?"

Olivia laughed. "Hardly. James is actually teaching at Hogwarts, and I'm an Auror."

"Really? You're an Auror?"

"What? You don't think I can do it?" she asked with a teasing smile.

"No, I'm just impressed," he said. "I can't believe you'd want to get into that with all that's going on right now."

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, I've heard that before. But, I think this is the best time to do it. I mean, someone has to defend us all."

"That's true." He looked into the distance for a moment, then brought himself back to earth. "And you said James is teaching at Hogwarts?"

"That's right," she smiled. "He's teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Good for him," Greg smiled. "I can't imagine going back and being a teacher. I mean, all your old teachers would be your coworkers!"

"I know," Olivia said. "But he seems to love it." She paused. "And what are you doing post-Hogwarts?"

"It's not as impressive as being an Auror," he said. "I work in the Ministry with the Department of Magical Games and Sports."

"Oh, then you work with Adam!" she exclaimed.

"Of course," he said. "He's a great guy. His wife's a sweetheart, too. They were both in my year at Hogwarts."

"Yes, I guess they would have been," Olivia agreed. "They are great people."

"There's a bunch of us who graduated together who still stay in touch," Greg said. "They're part of the group, obviously. They told me that Potter had married one of the girls from your year."

Olivia nodded. "Lily Evans."

"Cute little redhead, right?"

"That's her."

"But you're not married, are you?"

Olivia laughed. "I'm as far from married as I can get!"

He smiled. "So I am I." He paused, and a nervous shadow fell over his eyes. "Hey, listen, are you here alone? I'd love to buy you a drink."

"I'm actually with a couple of girlfriends," Olivia said, her eyes filling with regret. "I promised them we'd only stay a little longer – they both have to work in the morning."

"Well, look, I don't want to keep you from your friends," Greg said. "But can I see you again? I'd really like to get to know you better."

"I'd like that, too," Olivia said with a grin.

"Great," Greg said. "Can we meet here Friday night? Say eight-thirty?"

Olivia ran through her schedule in her mind. "That should be fine," she said.

"Excellent. I'll see you then."

"See you then," she echoed.

* * *

"Well? What do you think of French food now?"

"You were right," Sirius grinned. "It's fantastic! But, I'm sure the chef had a lot to do with that."

Rebecca flushed. "There's not much to cooking. Anyone can do it if they have a good recipe in front of them."

"You say that now," Sirius laughed. "You've clearly never seen me try to cook!"

"Oh, come on. You can't be that bad!"

"The first time I tried to cook dinner after we moved into our flat, it took James, Remus and I to put out the fire – and we were using our wands."

"You're making that up."

"No, I'm being completely honest!" he exclaimed, holding up his hands. "After that, any time I 'cooked' it involved bringing home Chinese food or pizza."

Rebecca laughed, and pushed back from the table. "Well, come with me."

"Where are we going?" he asked, rising from his seat.

"You are going to have a cooking lesson," she said, taking his hand to lead him into the kitchen.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" he asked with a grin as she released his hand. He leaned against the counter, watching her pull cooking utensils from her cupboards.

"I'm sure," she said, rummaging around in the cupboards for ingredients. "I'll have you cooking in no time. I'm a very good teacher."

"I'm sure you are," Sirius said. Unable to resist her, he came up from behind her, and put his arms around her waist. "Can't you teach me something that involves heating other things?" he asked, kissing her neck.

"Sirius," she murmured. She closed her eyes, then pulled away. "Cooking lesson first."

"All right," he agreed, stepping back.

She spun around with a grin, holding two thick bars of dark chocolate. "How do you feel about fondue?"

* * *

Olivia wasn't sure how she found her way back to the table where Dana and Laura were laughing and talking. She sat down with them, her eyes still a bit dazed.

"Whoa," Dana said. "Liv? Weren't you supposed to be getting a drink?"

"I got much more than a drink," she grinned.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Laura asked apprehensively, exchanging a glance with Dana.

"Do either of you remember Greg Wilson from Hogwarts?"

"Of course," Laura said at once. "He was in Ravenclaw with me. He was one of the fifth year prefects our first year, so he pretty much took care of us. He's a great guy – a real sweetheart. Why do you ask?"

"Because I just met him at the bar."

"He's here?" Laura asked eagerly. "I'd love to say hi!"

"Well, hopefully, you'll have plenty of opportunities to do that in the future," Olivia grinned. "I have a date with him for Friday night!"

* * *

"Am I doing this right?"

"Sirius, you're washing strawberries," Rebecca laughed. "If you're not doing it right, you need far more help than I can provide."

Sirius grinned. "I just don't want to mess this up."

Rebecca shook her head. "Please tell me you have washed fruit before."

He thought for a moment. "Well, yeah, I guess I have."

"If you have to think that hard about it, I'm not going to take it as a good sign," she laughed.

"Well, consider this – at home, my parents had a house-elf that took care of things like this. Then I went to Hogwarts, where everything is done for us. Then, after I left home, I lived with the Potters, who also have a house-elf."

"And now?"

"That's why I said yes," he grinned. "I've been washing my own fruit since graduation – when I eat fruit, that is."

She shook her head again. "All right, I'm sure they're clean enough. Come here, and let me show you how to melt the chocolate."

"All right."

He crossed the kitchen to where she was standing next to the stove. She had chopped the chocolate into smaller pieces, which were sitting on the counter, ready to be melted.

"Why did you cut it up?" he asked, indicating what had once been large, solid blocks of chocolate.

"It'll melt faster this way," she replied. "Now, the trick to this is keeping the fire at exactly the right temperature. If it gets too hot, the chocolate will burn. If it's too low, it'll take all night to have enough melted for our fondue."

"All right," Sirius agreed. "How do we control it?"

"Magic, of course," she replied. She took out her wand, and pointed it at the stove, muttering a spell. Flames sprung to life under the pot. She moved her wand slightly, making the flames jump higher, trying to find the right level. When they were where she wanted them, she muttered another spell.

"What does the second spell do?"

"It'll keep the fire at this level," she said. "Now, let's start adding the chocolate."

They had fun adding and stirring the chocolate, trying to keep it from burning. Sirius watched the quickly melting mixture with fascination.

"How do we know when it's ready?"

"Well, we have to test it," she said with a smile.

She dipped her finger into the chocolate. When she pulled it out, it was dripping chocolate.

"Open your mouth," she said softly.

Sirius obediently parted his lips, and she swept her finger into his mouth. He closed his lips around it, savoring the taste of the chocolate against her skin.

She smiled at him, and pulled her finger slowly out of his mouth. "What do you think?"

"I think you'd better try some," he replied, dipping his own finger into the chocolate.

When he pulled it out of the pot, she opened her mouth. He slid his finger between her parted lips. He sucked his breath in quickly as she began to suck the chocolate from his finger, taking far more of the appendage than was necessary into her mouth. She looked directly into his eyes the entire time she sucked on his finger. The tension between them rose with each passing second until she finally slowly pulled his finger out of her mouth.

Fondue was the last thing on his mind as he pulled her into a passionate kiss. As they stumbled out of the kitchen toward the bedroom, she waved her wand to turn off the stove. There was no sense in burning perfectly good chocolate.


	34. Strained Relations

A/N: I've gotten lots of questions about Sirius and Olivia. All I'm going to give away is that you should expect a lot of drama! I hope you'll like it!

Thanks for reading and reviewing! The next update will be on 4 March.

I don't own Harry Potter.

Strained Relations

Believe it or not, everyone have things that hide 

_Believe it or not, everyone keep most things inside__  
Believe it or not, everyone believe in something above__  
Believe it or not, everyone need to feel loved__  
- Believe it or not_, Nickelback

"Peter, we need to talk."

"Yes, my Lord?" Peter asked, standing before the Dark Lord's desk in his office.

Voldemort leaned back in his chair. "You have been very valuable in telling me of Dumbledore's plans. You have always told me what he knows and what he does not. However, this information that you have so willingly given - it is not enough."

"What more can I give you?" Peter asked nervously. "I can't know what is going through Dumbledore's mind."

"No," Voldemort conceded. "But you can tell me who it is that works with him."

Peter's eyes widened. Was the Dark Lord asking what he thought he was?

"I want to know who is fighting with him, Peter," Voldemort said softly. "I want specific names, and I want them all. You may begin when you are ready."

"I – I –" Peter began to shake. He couldn't tell him. He couldn't sell out his friends like that. He couldn't.

"I'm going to find out one way or another, Pettigrew," Voldemort said viciously. "If you choose not to tell me, I will simply take the names from your pathetic mind. You will be punished, of course, for not divulging the information I required, but I will still have the information. Which will it be, then? Will you tell me of your own accord, or shall I take the names by force?"

Peter gritted his teeth. There was only one choice.

"Well?"

Peter drew a deep breath. "Can I have a quill and parchment to write them down?"

Voldemort smiled. "Wise decision, Peter. Very wise."

* * *

"ALEXANDER!"

Olivia stopped dead in her tracks and turned around. Moody was coming toward her, looking like a man on a mission.

"I need a word," he said, pointing at his open office door.

Olivia nodded, glad for the excuse to procrastinate. She hated filing, the task that she had been assigned for the afternoon. Really, she hated all the office work she had been assigned since becoming an Auror. Any reason to put it off was a good one. She followed Moody into his office without protest.

"Have a seat," he said, shutting the door behind her.

Olivia obediently sat down, and waited for Moody to break the silence. He crossed the room, and sat down across from her at his desk.

"You, my dear, have done very well for us thus far," he began.

"Thank you," Olivia said, surprised that he had called her in to compliment her.

"I don't just mean since your induction to the Auror department," Moody continued. "I'm talking about the work you did for us during your training – both aspects of what you've done."

Olivia nodded, knowing that he was referring to her work with the Order. "Thank you, sir."

Moody nodded. "Our first year Aurors are all required to do six months of desk work, but I think it's time to make an exception to the rule. With all that's happening right now, I can't let a gifted Auror like you sit in this office, doing work at a desk. I'm sending you out in the field."

Olivia's eyes widened. "That would be great," she said quickly. "I'd far rather be out fighting than in here."

Moody nodded again. "I had assumed you'd say that. There is something I need to tell you before you begin, though."

"What's that?"

"All our field Aurors work with a partner. You know by now that it's not safe to go into a battle situation alone."

"Yes," she agreed. They had discussed this at length in all their training classes, and she had seen the importance of having a partner firsthand in her work for the Order. Her only remaining question was who her partner would be.

"We assign each Auror a partner," Moody continued. "The teams work together for a year. We base our teams on our knowledge of the members' abilities to work together as Aurors, but not necessarily as friends. In your case, we've made a choice that we think will work well, despite the initial difficulties you may encounter."

"Who will my partner be?" she asked, her curiosity getting the best of her. She hoped that it wasn't Lucas, one of the other new Aurors. He always looked at her as though she was a piece of meat, or a prize to be won. She could handle anyone but him.

"You will work with Mr. Black," Moody said firmly.

Olivia just managed to stop her jaw from dropping. Maybe _anyone_ but Lucas was a bit much. Was Moody mental? "Sirius?" she asked faintly.

"The very same." Moody studied her for a moment. "You and Mr. Black are the only new Aurors we are going to allow in the field. Based on your intense training, you are the only two who are ready."

"Right," Olivia said, her voice still a bit strangled.

"I know that you and Mr. Black have certain . . . issues . . . standing between you. Now is the time to get past them. You have been a damn good team in battle situations in the past. I expect nothing less now."

"But . . ."

"You have a problem with my decision?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No," Olivia said quickly. "It's not a problem at all."

"Good. You and Mr. Black will receive your first assignment next week. Until then, continue with your office work. Oh, and don't mention this to anyone else who was inducted with you. I don't need thirteen new Aurors in my office, begging me to put them in the field."

Olivia couldn't help smiling. "Yes, sir."

"Go ahead and make copies or whatever menial task they've assigned you." Moody looked down at his desk, and shifted some parchment around.

Olivia grinned, and rose from her chair. "Thank you, sir, for giving me this chance."

Moody looked up from the parchment scattered across his desk. "I know you'll succeed."

Olivia nodded, and made her way into the corridor. Once Moody's office door was closed behind her, she leaned back against the wall, exhaling deeply.

"My partner is Sirius," she whispered, closing her eyes. "How could Moody do this to us?"

"You have been a damn good team in battle situations in the past. I expect nothing less now."

Moody was right – she and Sirius _had_ worked well together in the past. But they hadn't been required to work together since they had broken up; in reality, they had avoided it. Could they still work together? She knew that she still trusted Sirius to defend her life in a battle situation, and knew that she would defend his just as tenaciously as he would hers. She nodded. If they worked at it, and didn't let their romantic past interfere in their professional lives, they could indeed live up to Moody's expectations.

She knew that she had to talk to Sirius about their new partnership. She couldn't very well wait until they received their first mission to begin talking to him again. The problem was going to be finding him, and then getting him alone. She collected herself, and then began to wander around the offices searching for a man whose schedule she didn't even know. How was she ever going to find him?

"Hey, Livie."

Olivia grinned as she saw her brother coming toward her. "Hi, John. What's up?"

"Working, as usual," he said. "How's the desk work treating you?"

She made a face. "Could we please refrain from talking about that?"

He laughed. "I got pretty much the same reaction from Sirius in our meeting yesterday."

"Oh, that's right! I forgot that you're his mentor."

John nodded, but didn't comment.

Olivia bit her lip, hating that she was about to ask this of her brother. She knew that he wanted her to stay as far away from her former boyfriend as possible. "I'm actually looking for Sirius. Do you know where he is right now?"

"I think he was headed back to his office the last time I saw him," John said with a slight frown. "Why are you looking for him?"

"Moody just told me the two of us are going to need to work together on something, and I wanted to talk to him about it."

John's frown deepened. "Moody is assigning the two of you to work together?"

"Yes."

He shook his head. "You don't have to. I'll talk to Moody for you."

"No, John, don't do that!" Olivia exclaimed.

"You _want_ to work with him?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes – no," she stumbled over her words, and sighed. "Look, I just don't want you babying me while we're here working together. Don't act like my big brother for once. Just let me handle this on my own. If Moody wants me to work with Sirius, then I'll work with him."

"I don't know, Livie," John said, shaking his head. "I don't think you should have to go through this. What is Moody making you do with him?"

Olivia shrugged. "He didn't tell me yet."

John sighed. "You're sure you don't want me to talk to Moody for you?"

"I'm positive."

"All right. I can't say that I like it, but if it's what you want . . ."

"Thanks, John," she smiled. "Oh, and don't say anything to Mum and Dad. They're worried enough over me being an Auror without knowing that I'm going to work with Sirius on some project."

"You've got that right," John grinned. "All right, I'll keep your secret. But you owe me."

"Free babysitting for a month," she promised with a grin.

"Great," John grinned. "You can start on Friday."

"Er – Friday's bad for me."

He raised his eyebrows. "And just what plans do you have?"

"I have a date." Olivia could barely keep the beaming smile from her face as she said the words.

"With who?" John asked, his eyebrows shooting up even higher.

"Greg Wilson. We went to Hogwarts together."

John smiled, obviously pleased. "That's great! I hope you have a good time."

"I'm sure I will."

He glanced at his watch. "Sorry, Livie, but I have a meeting with my partner in about thirty seconds. We'll talk later, okay?"

"Sure."

Olivia watched her brother walk off, then turned around. Maybe if she hurried, she could catch Sirius before he left the broom closet he called an office.

* * *

"So, did you find any . . . creative uses . . . for the chocolate, then?"

Sirius grinned at Lucas Patterson, one of the two other Aurors he shared an office with. Despite the fact that Lucas wasn't his favorite of the new Aurors, he was there, and Sirius desperately needed to talk to someone about his activities of the prior evening. He had just finished recounting the evening spent with Rebecca, much to the other man's delight.

"No, the chocolate was just the jumping off point, if you will," Sirius replied. "Although that could be a fun idea for another night."

"Definitely," Lucas grinned. "I have to say, Sirius, you have the best luck with the ladies. First you had Olivia, who is gorgeous and has a body that makes me want to cry, then you had Patricia offering you meaningless shagging, and now you have this little doll. How do you do it?"

Sirius smiled, although for some reason the comments about his girlfriends – both past and present – sent a bit of anger through him. He hated the way Lucas viewed women. "It's my overall attractiveness, I'd say. They can't resist me."

Lucas laughed. "No advice for your office buddy?"

"Sorry, my friend. Some of us have it, and some don't."

Lucas laughed again as a knock sounded on the door, cutting off the conversation. Sirius looked at Lucas.

"Were you expecting company?"

"No," Lucas replied with a shrug. "Come in!"

Olivia opened the door, and stepped into the office. "Sirius, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure," Sirius said, his eyes widening slightly. He was sure he knew what this was about, which meant that Lucas couldn't be a part of their conversation. "Lucas, do you mind ?"

"Not at all," Lucas said cheerfully. "I'm sure someone will find work for me as soon as I set foot outside the office." He passed very close to Olivia, which wasn't entirely inappropriate given their close quarters – but wasn't exactly appropriate, either. "Nice seeing you, Alexander."

She gave him a warning look. "You, too, Patterson."

When the door was closed behind him, she took his vacant seat. "I just talked to Moody," she said without preamble.

Sirius grabbed his wand, and put a silencing charm on the office. "Yeah, he talked to me yesterday. It looks like we're partners again."

"Do you think we can do it?"

"I think we certainly have the ability," Sirius said. "But in terms of our relationship . . . Well, this is going to force us to be civil again." He gave her a sarcastic smile. "So, I guess that means you're going to have to talk to me again."

"We have been civil," Olivia snapped. "And to suggest that I haven't talk to you – that's ridiculous! Think of all the times we've been together with our friends – think of everything that's happened to throw us together – we were both there for James when his dad died –"

"Olivia," Sirius said sharply, holding up his hand to stop the flow of words. He sighed. "We haven't even been together in this room for five minutes, and we're already getting short with one another. Do you honestly think this isn't going to be difficult for us? Moody has given us a challenging task on top of the missions we'll be assigned."

Olivia drew a deep breath. "I don't know why he did this to us."

"He wants us to work out our differences," Sirius said. "Or maybe he doesn't care. Aurors aren't supposed to show emotion, remember? Maybe this is a way of teaching us not to let our emotions interfere with our work."

Olivia exhaled. "This is going to be tough, Sirius."

"Only if we let it," he replied. "We're both at fault, so we're both going to have to work to fix this. We were friends far longer than we were dating, Liv. Do you think we can go back to that? Do you think we can be friends again?"

_Not if you keep looking at me with those eyes_, she thought. She had forgotten how easy it was to lose herself in his eyes. "Yes," she said out loud, struggling to keep her emotions in check. "At least, I think we can trust one another again in our work."

"You don't trust me in other aspects?"

"I trust you with my life," Olivia said simply. "Isn't that enough?"

Sirius nodded slowly. _You once trusted me with your heart, and now just your life is supposed to be good enough_? "Yes," he said aloud, keeping the sorrow out of his voice. "I trust you with my life, too."

"Good." She swung the chair from side to side. "What do we do now?"

"We wait," Sirius said simply. "We can't act until we have our orders from Moody."

Olivia nodded, and rose to her feet. "I guess I'll let your roommate come back in, then."

Sirius grinned. "He's probably got his ear pressed to the door, trying to hear we're doing now that we're alone."

Olivia shook her head. "Pervert."

"Yes, he is."

She laughed, and nodded. "I'll see you around."

"Right," Sirius replied, wondering if he was disappointed by the briefness of their encounter.

Olivia stopped with her hand on the doorknob, and turned around. "Sirius?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad we're working together," she said softly. "There's no other Auror I'd trust with my life the way I trust you."

* * *

Sirius exhaled as she closed the door softly behind her, and ran his hand through his hair. Even after all that had happened between them, he was still attracted to her. Lucas, although blunt and harsh, was right. Olivia was one of the most attractive women he knew. He was going to have to work very hard to keep his emotions under control while they worked together. Aside from their history and his present relationship with Rebecca, his career was also at stake. He had to make sure his conduct was nothing other than professional.

"Besides, think of Rebecca," he muttered. "She's a great girl, and you can't hurt her like that. Keep thinking of her, and you'll be fine." He grinned as a mental picture of his girlfriend crossed his mind. "Just keep thinking about last night."

* * *

Olivia made it back to her own office, which was mercifully empty. She closed the door behind her, and sat down at her desk, burying her face in her hands. How could he still affect her like that? How could she _allow_ him to affect her like that? She sighed. She had to move on – and that's exactly what Friday night was about.

"He doesn't love you anymore," she muttered to herself. "Get yourself under control. Compartmentalize. You have a working relationship with Sirius, difficult though it may be. Your romantic relationship is about to start with Greg. Focus on him."

She nodded to herself, and stood up. She had some filing she had to do.

* * *

The remaining days of the week passed quickly, and Friday arrived before Olivia was really ready. She had the day off work, which was probably a good thing, considering how jumpy she was.

Halfway through the day, she was ready to Apparate to the Canary Islands to find Lily. She desperately needed to talk to a friend, but there were none to be found. Lily was still away for her romantic week with James; Dana, who was still in Healer training, was unreachable during class hours; and Laura was in court, serving as the junior prosecutor in a Death Eater case. Olivia was on her own to keep herself calm during this long, nerve-wracking day.

Finally, the clock assured her that she could begin getting ready for her date without being ridiculously early. A long shower helped to calm her nerves; once she was clean, she spent an almost disturbing amount of time choosing her clothing. After trying on ten different outfits, she settled on her favorite black shirt with a denim skirt and black heels. She fussed with her hair and makeup until they were just right. Then, picking up her black purse, she Apparated to Hogsmeade.

She arrived at the Three Broomsticks just as Greg did. His face lit up as he saw her approaching.

"Hey," he grinned. "You look fantastic."

"Thanks," she said with a smile. "So do you."

He laughed. "You don't need to compliment guys, you know."

"I'm saying it because it's true," she replied.

He laughed again. "Come on, let's go in."

"All right."

He held the door open, letting her pass before him. Madam Rosmerta was working that evening, and promptly showed them to a table. She looked surprised to see Olivia with someone who wasn't Sirius, but refrained from commenting.

"I'll take care of you myself," she said with a smile, handing each of them a menu. "How are your friends, Olivia?"

"Fine," she replied with a smile. "You know that James is working at Hogwarts now, right?"

"Yes, he comes in every once in a while after work," she smiled. "Well, he hasn't been in since . . . It is a terrible shame about his father, isn't it? How is he?"

Olivia smiled sadly. "He's handling it as well as he can. He and Lily are in the Canary Islands right now."

"Good," Madam Rosmerta replied. "He needed to get away for a bit." She smiled again. "Well, I'll give you a minute to look over the menu, then I'll be back to take your order."

Olivia smiled at Greg as Madam Rosmerta left, and opened her menu. He looked at her with a slight frown.

"You know her?"

"Yes," Olivia smiled. "A few of my friends got to know her very well when we were at Hogwarts. She's always given us all special treatment because of them."

"If I had known that, I would have befriended her long ago," Greg said with an exaggerated sigh. "This James you mentioned – is that James Potter?"

"Yes."

"His father was Harold Potter, then?"

"You heard about that?"

He nodded. "I work in the Ministry, remember? It was all anyone could talk about for awhile. Everyone was stunned that such a phenomenal Auror was killed."

Olivia nodded. "We were all pretty shocked by it. James is starting to heal now, though, so that's a good thing."

He looked at her for a moment, recognizing the sorrow in her eyes. "I'm sorry. We don't need to talk about this now."

She smiled gratefully. "Thanks."

He smiled, and looked down at the menu, searching for a new subject. "Well, since you appear to have all the inside information on this place, what's the best thing to order?"

Olivia laughed, and looked down at her own menu. "Well, what are you in the mood to eat tonight?"

"Food?"

She laughed, thinking that that was exactly the same answer that Sirius would have given. She was about to tell him that, but stopped herself. She knew better than to bring up an old boyfriend on the first date.

"Really, anything they have on the menu is good," she said at last. "Madam Rosmerta does an excellent job of supervising her kitchen staff."

"You're not being very helpful, you know."

"What? I'm telling you the truth!"

The noise level in the bar went up abruptly, and both Olivia and Greg looked up from their menus. A large group of people was spilling in through the doors, talking and laughing loudly. Greg shrugged.

"Family reunion?"

Olivia laughed. "We always manage to pick the crowded nights to come here, don't we?"

"Every night is crowded here," Greg grinned. "That's why they've been in business for so many years. It may slow our service down, though."

"No way," Olivia said confidently. "Madam Rosmerta will make sure we're taken care of, even if she can't wait on us herself."

"Bold words."

"It's going to happen."

Greg looked at her for a moment, his eyes twinkling. "Care to make a friendly wager?"

Olivia leaned forward, her eyes glittering with the excitement of a challenge. "You're on. What are the stakes?"

He looked thoughtful for a moment. "The loser has to buy the winner a drink."

"That's it?" Olivia laughed. "Well, I'll go easy on you and pick a cheap drink, then."

"Oh, no," Greg laughed. "When I win, I'm going to order the most expensive drink this bar has to offer!"

"Well, you're going to lose," Olivia replied breezily. "We'll have impeccable service."

"They have about a million people in here! There's no way we can have quick service – it just doesn't make sense."

She shook her head. "It doesn't matter. When you're friends with the people I'm friends with, you get good service."

As if to validate her words, a frazzled waitress rushed over to their table. "I'm so sorry to keep you waiting," she said breathlessly. "Madam Rosmerta is a bit busy right now, and asked me take your order for her. Have you decided what you'd like?"

Olivia looked at Greg with a triumphant smile, then up at the waitress. Her smile faded as she realized who was waiting on them. She would know that sweet, innocent face anywhere. Rebecca was waiting to take their order.

She wasn't even sure what she ordered. All her mind could comprehend was her intense desire to pull the other girl's dark hair out curl by curl. Greg looked at her with questions in his eyes, and asked Rebecca's recommendation for dinner.

"The chicken is our special tonight," she said with a smile. "I had some earlier, so I can tell you firsthand that it's really good."

"I'll have that, then," Greg agreed, handing her his menu. "Thanks."

"Sure," she smiled, taking Olivia's menu as well, trying to ignore the evil look that accompanied it. She bit her lip, then smiled. "You're Olivia, right? Sirius's friend?"

"That's right," Olivia said coldly.

"We met about a month ago," Rebecca said, trying to rectify the situation, her smile becoming nervous. "At the Auror induction. I'm Rebecca, his girlfriend. Do you remember me?"

"Yes," Olivia said shortly.

Rebecca looked at her in confusion. "Well, I'll tell him I saw you."

"Don't bother," Olivia said. "I'll see him at work tomorrow."

"Well, just in case I see him before then," Rebecca said. She tapped the menus against her hand. "I'll go put your order in, then."

Greg looked at Olivia in shock as Rebecca disappeared. "Well, that was rather rude," he said bluntly. "What don't you like about that girl?"

Olivia sighed. "Can we not talk about this right now?"

"No, we need to get it out now," Greg insisted. "Because, to be honest, this is our first date, and at the end of the night, we're going to need to decide if we want to see one another again. Right now, after watching you practically eat that poor little girl alive, I'm not sure I want to see you again."

Olivia flinched. "I didn't mean to give you that impression."

"Maybe it's best you did," he replied a bit coldly. "I want to get to know your _real_ personality, not the one you want to show me."

"I'm not a mean person, if that's what you're thinking."

"It _is_ what I'm thinking. Why else would you treat that girl like that? She seemed sweet."

She sighed again. She was going to have to bring up an old boyfriend after all. "All right, I'll give you the abridged version of the story. She's dating my former boyfriend."

"Ah." Understanding fell across his features. "And, clearly, you're not her number one fan. But, Olivia, you said he's your _former_ boyfriend. Why do you hate her? It's not as if you're still dating him."

"I know," Olivia sighed. "We've been broken up for a long time, but I guess my possessive nature isn't happy letting her just take him like that."

Greg shook his head. "Are you still in love with him?"

"What?" she asked, taken aback.

"You loved him, didn't you?"

She smiled sadly. "Yes. He was the first man I ever loved."

"So, naturally, he's the hardest to get over," Greg said. "I know how it is. It was a year before I dated anyone after I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. But, the question is, are you truly ready for this? Are you ready to move on, and to try another relationship? A relationship with me?"

"Of course," Olivia said. "I'm here, aren't I?"

"Yes, you're here. But is your heart really in this, or would you rather be with him?"

She smiled. "I want to be here with _you_, Greg."

He exhaled deeply. "All right. Well, I suppose we're past that part, then. But you're sure that you aren't still in love with him?"

"I'm sure," she said with as much conviction as possible. "I'm ready to move on, and, if you're still interested, I'd like to do that with you."

Greg smiled. "So far, I'd say I'm still interested. Just try to keep that temper in check, all right?"

Olivia grinned. "I'll do my best."

* * *

As soon as her shift ended, Rebecca Apparated to Sirius's flat. She had to talk to him, regardless of the obscenely late hour. She needed some answers.

"Sirius?" she called, looking around the quiet living room. "Sirius, are you home?"

Sirius emerged from his bedroom wearing a t-shirt and boxers. His hair was mussed and he was blinking repeatedly, but his wand was held steadily before him.

"Rebecca?" he asked incredulously, lowering his wand. "What are you doing here? What time is it?"

"It's about three in the morning," she admitted. "I had to see you, Sirius. We really need to talk about something."

"Here, sit down," he said, indicating the couch. "Just let me go get some clothes on, and then we can talk."

She sat down as instructed, and waited for him to return. He was only gone several minutes, but returned wearing jeans, with his hair in place and teeth brushed. He sat down next to her, looking at her with concern.

"What's going on, sweetheart?" he asked gently.

"I don't really know how to say this," she began a bit awkwardly.

"Take your time," he replied, his heart beginning to beat erratically. Was she pregnant? What would he do if she was? If he wasn't ready to be married, he certainly wasn't ready to be a father! Oh, _why_ couldn't he just control his hormones?

Rebecca drew a deep breath. "I was at work tonight – that's why I had to wait until it was so late to come over."

Sirius nodded, but remained silent, praying that he'd know how to respond to whatever confession she was about to make.

"Well, one of my tables tonight was your friend."

"Which friend?"

"Olivia."

Sirius worked to keep all emotion from his face. "Oh?"

"Why doesn't she like me, Sirius?"

He could have laughed with relief. She wasn't pregnant! "What makes you think she doesn't like you?"

"Well, she didn't talk to me much when I met her at the Auror induction, but I didn't think much of it. I mean, it was her ceremony, too, and she had so many people to talk to. I didn't expect her to be as chatty with me as the others were. But tonight . . ."

"What happened?" Sirius asked, fighting to keep his voice level. If Olivia had done something to hurt her . . .

"Well, she was just really harsh, I suppose. No, that's not it. She was rude to me. Flat out rude. I'd almost call her mean."

Sirius's eyes narrowed. "I'll talk to her."

"No, Sirius, I don't care if she treats me like that," Rebecca said quickly. "I work in a bar. Plenty of people are less than nice to me in a night. I just want to know why, that's all."

"Well, regardless, she shouldn't treat you that way." Sirius sighed, and ran his hand through his hair. After all these months of not confessing the truth about his relationship with Olivia, it was time to tell her. "Olivia . . . Olivia and I have a past together."

Rebecca frowned. "A romantic past?"

"Yes. She and I dated during our seventh year at Hogwarts, and continued dating until this past fall."

"What happened?"

"She wanted to get married."

"And you didn't?"

"No, I didn't. I wasn't ready, and she didn't want to wait anymore. So, we parted ways."

"But you loved her?"

"Yes. I loved her."

"Were you _in_ love with her?"

He nodded. "Yes, I was. She was my first love. She was the first girl I ever made love to. I loved her very much, and I suppose part of me always will."

She nodded, and swallowed. "And now?"

"Now I'm with you," he said, putting his arm around her to draw her close beside him. "Olivia and I are over, and we have been for quite some time. _You're_ the one that I want to be with now, Rebecca, not her."

She looked up at him with wide, trusting eyes. "Do you love me, Sirius?"

"What?" Her words had shocked him, and her eyes told him that she expected nothing less than an honest answer.

"I've told you that I love you many times, but you've never said it back. Do you love me, or are you just amusing yourself with me?"

"Rebecca, I am not using you, if that's what you're asking," he said firmly. He paused, trying to decide how to answer her question. "But do you know why I've never told you that I love you?"

"I assume it's because you're scared."

He smiled. "Sort of." He sighed. "I'm going to be terribly honest with you, if that's what you want."

"Please."

He nodded. "I'm honestly just not sure of my feelings. I know that I care for you deeply, and that you are very important and special to me. I know that my life is better for having you in it. But I'm just not positive that I love you. And, Rebecca, I will never say anything unless I truly mean it – and that includes telling you that I love you. Until I've sorted everything out, I'm going to have to ask you to be patient with me. But, when you hear me say those words, you have to know that I will mean them with everything in me. When I tell you I love you, it's because I truly mean it."

"Are you not sure about me because you still love her?"

He closed his eyes, then opened them again. "I was in love with Olivia for a long time – longer than I even knew. When she left me, she broke my heart. Like I told you before, part of me will always love her. But, our relationship has ended. She no longer loves me or wants me in her life in a romantic sense. I've dealt with that, and my feelings for her are now irrelevant."

"But you're still a part of her life in a non-romantic sense?"

"We work together," he said simply. "We've just been assigned to be partners in our field work. So, yes, she will continue to be a part of my professional life. But you have nothing to worry about. _You're_ the one I want to be with romantically."

She drew a deep breath. "This is a lot to handle, Sirius."

"I know," he said, surprised that she hadn't started screaming at him for any of this. He would have been yelling at her if the tables were turned. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you all this sooner – especially the part about Olivia. I should have been upfront about her from the beginning. But you never asked about my past relationships, and I didn't want to have to put you through hearing about her – or any other girlfriends, for that matter."

"You've had others?" she asked listlessly.

"No one serious," he said quickly. "No one that I loved, and no one that I slept with. They were just girls that I dated briefly during fifth and sixth year at Hogwarts. I'm sure you've had similar relationships."

"I had one serious one," she said softly. "We dated sixth and seventh year, but broke up after graduation."

"Why?"

"He was moving to Germany for his job. He asked me to go, but I didn't want to. I couldn't leave my family. And I'm glad I didn't go. Right after he left, my mum got sick. I wouldn't trade being with her during the last months of her life for anything."

"Did you love him?" Sirius asked softly.

"Yes." She smiled. "He's the same for me as Olivia is for you, I suppose. He was the first man I loved. He was the first one I made love to. It broke my heart when he left, but I had to get over him. I had to move on."

"And you have."

"Yes," she said softly. "Have you?"

"If I hadn't moved on, could I be with you the way I have?"

"I suppose not."

He ran his finger over her cheek. "Are we all right, Rebecca?"

She nodded. "I guess so. I just wish things could be different."

"Different how?"

"I wish that you could love me the way that I love you."

He put both of his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. "So do I, sweetheart. But I do want to be with you. I want to get to know you better. I really care for the person I've been getting to know these past months."

She sighed against his chest. "But you don't love me."

"Rebecca . . ."

"I know," she said quickly. "You've explained it, and I understand. Really. I do." She sighed again. "I guess I'm just going to have to be content with what you're giving me for now."

"Thank you."

She smiled a bit sadly. "What else can I do, Sirius? I can't leave you. I love you."


	35. Secrets Revealed

A/N: Wow, I didn't realize how much a Sirius/Olivia-centric chapter would bother some people! But, no worries, Lily and James will make a triumphant return in this chapter! And please have patience…everything, including Laura's health problems, will be explained in time. Thanks again for reading and reviewing! Enjoy!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Secrets Revealed

_You think that I can't live without your love __  
You'll see__  
You think I can't go on another day__  
You think I have nothing__  
Without you by my side__  
You'll see__  
Somehow, some way__  
- You'll See_, Madonna 

"Have you seen him again since that first date, then?"

"Not yet, but we've made plans to go out again this weekend," Olivia beamed.

Stephanie Webster, one of Olivia's officemates, grinned. "That's fantastic! I'm so happy for you, Liv!"

Olivia's smile faded a bit. "He didn't kiss me, though. Not even a kiss on the cheek when we said good night."

"Some guys are a bit slower than others," Stephanie said sagely, nodding her head.

"Sirius and I were snogging on our first date."

A slight frown creased Stephanie's brow. "Liv, not every guy is just like Sirius."

"I know that," she replied in surprise, frowning slightly.

"Don't get upset! I'm just saying you have to let Greg be different, that's all. Sometimes different is good."

"True," Olivia murmured. She and Sirius weren't together anymore. Maybe the fact that Greg wasn't like him was a good thing.

A knock sounded on the door, ending Olivia's musings. She looked at Stephanie, who shrugged.

"I certainly hope that isn't someone with work for us," she said.

"Me, too," Olivia laughed. "Come in!"

The door opened, and Sirius came in. "Hey, Liv, can we talk?" he asked tensely.

"Sure," Olivia said, her eyes wide.

"I'll just be leaving," Stephanie said quickly, gathering up her things.

"Sorry to kick you out of your office, Steph," Sirius said. "Good morning, by the way."

Stephanie smiled. "Good morning to you, too. And I'm not offended. I'll just have to avoid anyone who will try to give me work out there."

"Hide in the lounge," Sirius suggested.

Stephanie shook her head. "They always go there to find us." She grinned. "I can't wait until we're older, and we can give work to the new Aurors. I'm going to make them file every piece of parchment I can find!"

Sirius laughed, and Olivia looked at him sharply. That wasn't his usual laugh. Something wasn't right.

"Well, I'll see you guys later today," Stephanie said. "Liv, if you want to talk later, find me."

"I will," Olivia replied, forcing a smile. Sirius was looking at her with an unreadable expression, and it was making her nervous.

As soon as the door closed behind Stephanie, Sirius put a silencing charm on the room. Olivia looked at him with questions in her eyes.

"What's going on?" she asked.

Sirius drew a deep breath, and put his wand down on Olivia's desk. His eyes flashed with barely controlled anger. "Leave Rebecca the hell alone."

Olivia flinched. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't play stupid with me!" he yelled, his anger exploding. "She told me about what happened when she waited on you at the Three Broomsticks! There is no need to treat her that way!"

"I'll treat her however the hell I want!" Olivia yelled back, her own temper, the one she had promised Greg that she would try to control, boiling over. "You're not her father, Sirius, and you're certainly not mine. You have no right to tell me how to treat her!"

"I have every right!" he yelled. "She's a sweet girl, and the only reason you're treating her like that is because she's my girlfriend!"

"And just why would I care who you date?"

"Because you can't handle seeing me with someone who isn't you!"

Olivia's eyes widened. "You think rather highly of yourself, don't you?"

"No. I just think that you're not over me, that's all. But there's no reason to take your frustration out on Rebecca, who has never been anything but nice to you!"

"I'm not going to be nice to her just because you told me to!" Olivia snapped.

"Damn it, Olivia!" Sirius yelled. "Why do you always have to be so stubborn? Can't you see past your own wants for three minutes to consider someone else's? She's upset by the way you're treating her! I'm not saying that you have to be her best mate, I'm just saying that you should treat her with some respect. She deserves that much."

"She doesn't deserve anything from me!" Olivia spat. "And she certainly doesn't deserve _you_!"

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she realized her error. Her eyes opened wide, but she refused to let her cheeks flush. She wasn't going to let him know that she regretted her words.

Sirius let out a barking laugh. "As I recall, _you_ were the one to give up the right to decide who deserves me and who doesn't. _You_ couldn't wait for me to be ready to get married. _You_ made the decision to end our relationship. _You_ chose this path, Olivia. Now you get to live it. If you have a problem with me dating Rebecca, take it up with me. Good ness knows we're going to see enough of each other at work. Just leave her alone."

Olivia glared at him. "You can date the bloody Minister of Magic if you want to. I don't give a damn. Stop thinking that you're the bloody center of my universe."

He gave her the coldest look she had ever seen. "Then stop acting like I am."

The door swung open, and Moody limped into the room. He looked from Sirius to Olivia, noting their flushed faces, glittering eyes and angry expressions.

"Well," he said, closing the door behind him, "I can see that this partnership will be more of a challenge for you than I had anticipated."

"Didn't I lock that?" Sirius asked distractedly.

"Impossible," Moody said. "Locking charms don't work in this department – it's a security issue. You might want to work on your silencing charms, though. That one was exceptionally easy to break."

Sirius looked at him, running his hand through his hair distractedly. "You broke it?"

"When Miss Webster told me I could find you in here together, I got a bit nervous. I know you would never discuss anything that you shouldn't, but I also assumed that you weren't making plans to get together this weekend. I'm glad to see that you're working at leaving your personal lives at home."

Both Olivia and Sirius had the decency to blush scarlet. Moody suppressed the smile that wanted to stretch across his face.

"That will be your greatest challenge. Once you overcome your past, I'm sure that you will be the greatest Auror team this department has seen in years." He pulled a piece of parchment from his robes. "Here is your first assignment. It's not the most exciting battle you've ever seen, but it will give you some practice. We've had reports of Death Eaters torturing someone, and we need you to stop it and bring them in. Have fun."

He gave the parchment to Olivia, then turned and left the room. Olivia unfolded their instructions, and stepped closer to Sirius so they could read them together.

"Diagon Alley," Sirius muttered.

Olivia nodded. "Let's go."

With two cracks, they were gone.

* * *

Sirius and Olivia appeared in the middle of Diagon Alley. They looked around tensely, searching for the situation their instructions had described. Both held their wands in front of them, ready to defend themselves and anyone else that was caught in the crossfire.

"There," Sirius said quietly, indicating a building at the end of the street.

Olivia looked to where he was pointing, and saw light that could only have come from a spell illuminate the windows. She frowned slightly.

"Isn't that building abandoned?"

"Yes," Sirius said as they began to move down the street. "Makes it a perfect place to torture your victims, doesn't it?"

Olivia shuddered. "Let's hurry."

They took off at a run, holding their wands at their sides. When they reached the building, Sirius held up a cautioning hand.

"Let me go first," he whispered.

"You don't think I can handle this?" Olivia hissed.

He rounded on her, his eyes flashing dangerously. "I think that our instructions said that at least one person is being held captive in this building. I think that if you can't stop fighting me on everything I do, we're going to let that person die. Now, just swallow your pride, stop thinking that I don't trust you, and let me go in first. Back me up."

Fully chastised, Olivia fell behind him. Sirius drew his wand, and muttered a spell that blew the door off its hinges. That obstacle removed, he charged into the building with Olivia right behind him.

They both stopped short at the sight that met their eyes. Two children, not even old enough to attend Hogwarts, were cowering in a corner. Two Death Eaters, both wearing masks to conceal their identity, were obviously taking turns hurling spells at them.

"_Accio wands_!" Sirius and Olivia yelled together.

"_Stupefy_!"

"_Petrificus totalus_!"

Both Death Eaters hit the floor, one from each spell thrown by the Aurors. Sirius immediately bound both Death Eaters, while Olivia went to the children. They looked up at her with fear in their eyes.

"Please don't hurt us," the little boy whispered. "We're sorry, and we promise that we'll never do it again."

"I'm not going to hurt you," Olivia said gently. "And you don't have anything to be sorry for. Everything that happened was their fault."

"What happened to them?" the little girl asked fearfully.

"We used spells that will make sure they can't move for awhile," Olivia said. "I'm Olivia, and that's my friend, Sirius. Can you tell me your names?"

"I'm Bobby and this is Christie."

She nodded. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Bobby and Christie. Can you tell me if you hurt anywhere?"

The children both nodded, and began displaying bruises and burns. Burns? Olivia's stomach turned. What had those monsters done to these children?

Sirius made his way over to join them. "Hi, guys," he said with a smile. "I'm Sirius."

"She told us," Bobby said, pointing at Olivia.

"Good," he said.

"This is Bobby, and this is Christie," Olivia said.

Sirius nodded. "Well, those two over there won't be moving for quite some time, so I think we'll have a chance to get you two home. Do you live here in Diagon Alley?"

"No," Christie replied. "We live in London."

"London?" Sirius and Olivia exchanged a glance.

Olivia held out her wand. "Can you tell me what this is?" she asked.

"It looks like a wand," Bobby said, looking at the strip of wood critically.

"That's right," Olivia said.

"Do you know anyone else who has one of these?" Sirius asked, holding out his own wand.

"No," Bobby said.

"I've seen them on television!" Christie exclaimed. "I watch all the magic shows. They're my favorites."

Sirius and Olivia looked at one another again.

"Should I get Laura and a team of Obliviators here?" Olivia asked. "We're going to need some memory charms."

"We can do those ourselves," Sirius said. "But we do need Laura. We're going to need a statement, and we have to make sure everything we do is totally legal. Those bastards are not going free."

"We're going to need a Healer, too," Olivia added. "The spells I know aren't going to go very far with these two."

Sirius looked at the still-exposed wounds on the children's bodies and nodded. "I'll alert St. Mungo's. None of these look life-threatening, but you can't be too careful."

He took a crystal in the shape of a cross from his pocket, and tapped it with his wand. It glowed gold for a moment, then changed to blue. Sirius nodded.

"They're sending someone. Hurry, Liv. We need to get them home."

Olivia nodded. "Right. Bobby, Christie, Sirius is going to stay with you for a minute. I just need to get one of my friends for you to talk to. I'll be right back."

Without even giving them time to reply, she Disapparated. Sirius looked at the children, who were looking at the place where Olivia had been standing only seconds before. Their mouths were slightly open.

"How did she do that?" Bobby asked in an awed whisper.

"It's magic, silly," Christie replied. "I've seen them to that on tv loads of times."

Sirius grinned. "Right you are, Christie. That most certainly was magic. Would you like to see some more?"

* * *

Olivia Apparated into Laura's offices within the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Laura was in the lobby when Olivia appeared, and looked at her in surprise.

"Hey, Liv," she greeted with a smile. "What brings you down to our neck of the woods?"

"I need you," she said urgently.

Laura's smile faded at the desperation in Olivia's voice. "What's happened?" she asked tensely.

"Sirius and I were just sent in to investigate some Death Eater activity in Diagon Alley – it turns out that they were torturing two Muggle kids."

The color drained from Laura's face. "What?" she whispered in horror.

Olivia nodded. "They're in pretty bad shape, so I'm going to need a Healer, too, but we really need you to get a statement from them before they start forgetting details. Sirius and I want to make sure that these bastards pay for what they've done."

Laura nodded. "I'm there. Just let me grab my bag, and tell me where I'm Apparating to."

* * *

By the time Laura and Olivia arrived at the building in Diagon Alley, two Healers were already at work on the children. Sirius was there as well, transformed into the great black dog, chasing his tail to amuse the children. He immediately transformed back when he saw Olivia and Laura.

"Do it again!" Christie begged. "That was so cool, Sirius! How did you do it? Can you teach me how?"

Olivia gave him a half-exasperated, half-amused look. "Providing the entertainment this evening?"

He shrugged. "I wanted to get their minds off everything that's happened."

Olivia smiled. "It was a good idea."

"Thanks," he replied, returning her smile.

As soon as the Healers were done with the children, Laura stepped forward.

"Hi," she said with a smile. "I'm Laura. Is it all right if I ask you a few questions about what you saw today?"

"All right," the children agreed in unsion.

Sirius and Olivia stepped back, and let Laura do her job. The Healers joined them.

"That could have been far worse," the first one stated. "It's a good thing you two got here when you did."

Olivia felt a bit ill. Perhaps if she and Sirius had spent a bit less time arguing earlier, they could have arrived sooner.

"It's a good thing you called us so quickly," the second Healer added. "We were able to fix all the damage before it went too far. Congratulations on your first mission, you two. This was a job well done."

Sirius looked at him curiously. "How did you know this is our first mission?"

"We've been on-call Healers for the Auror department for about five years. We're only one of the Healer teams, but we know all the Auror teams. If this wasn't your first mission, it had to be one of the first."

"You've done well," his partner added. "Keep it up. We'll see you again – hopefully not too soon."

With parting smiles, the Healers Disapparated. Sirius looked at Olivia with a smile.

"Well, how about that?" he asked. "We already have the seal of approval from the Healers."

Olivia looked at him reproachfully, and stepped toward the door. Sirius followed her with concern in his eyes.

"What's wrong, Liv?"

She turned to him with bright eyes. "Sirius, these children nearly died."

"But they didn't," he stated firmly. "Because we got here, they'll get to go home."

"They're just kids, Sirius," she said softly. "They aren't even wizards. What did they do to deserve this?"

"It was bad luck," Sirius said. "They don't deserve it, it isn't right, and it should never have happened. But we can't change the fact that it did. We can only try to make it as right as we can. That's what our job is all about, you know. We fix things that have gone wrong." He looked at her curiously. "You've been doing this ever since we left Hogwarts, Liv. You've seen torture victims before. What happened to shake you up so much this time?"

"It's never been kids before," she said softly. "I know that others have had to deal with kids – Laura and Lily had that one awful case with the child being tortured as a way to hurt the mother – but I've never seen anything like this before."

Sirius nodded slowly. "Well, love, you're just going to have get the hang of it. I can guarantee you right now that this isn't the last time that we're going to see child victims. Just remember that we're here to fix it – we're here to make it better for them. We have to do our best to distract them."

Olivia looked at him, wondering why he had called her "love." Was it old habit, or did her really mean it? She shook her head slightly. She couldn't think about it now. She couldn't handle trying to figure out the implications of one word. "Is that what your transformation was all about? Distracting them from what had happened?" she asked.

"Yes. I thought it might take their minds off the pain."

Olivia nodded. "Well, it worked. Although, did you really need to show more magic to the Muggle kids?"

Sirius laughed. "We're going to wipe their memories anyway. They might as well have some fun first."

Olivia laughed in spite of herself, and shook her head. "You really are just a very tall child, aren't you?"

"So Lily always tells me," Sirius grinned.

Olivia sobered. "You know, if we hadn't been arguing, we could have been here sooner."

"We had to wait for Moody's instructions."

"Yeah, but I didn't have to fight you about who was going in first. You were right; it's about them, not us. I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

Sirius smiled. "I'm sorry, too. I promise to try harder to get along with you."

"I promise to think of work and only work while we're on missions."

"Me, too." Sirius looked over at the Death Eaters who were still lying together in the corner. "I'm going to take them to Law Enforcement, and then I'll come back to help you take the kids home to London."

Olivia nodded. "We're taking them right up to their houses."

"Definitely. We're not letting anything else happen to them again."

* * *

"I'm not ready to give up this tropical paradise," Lily moaned.

"But we must," James said, giving an exaggerated sigh. "Work beckons."

Lily wrinkled her nose. "There will be no discussion of work until we're back at home."

James grinned. "Isn't it fantastic to go back to normal life?"

Realizing what he meant, Lily gave him a smile. "It's good to have you back, James."

"It's good to be back," he grinned. "Now, shall we Disapparate?"

"I suppose," Lily sighed. She smiled. "After you."

James winked at her, and Disapparated. Lily looked out the window at the ocean one last time, then closed her own eyes and headed home.

"Surprise!"

Lily opened her eyes and felt her mouth drop open. Her friends were in her living room, all looking at her with expectant smiles. She looked from Remus and Laura to Peter to Dana and Aidan to Sirius and Olivia. Sirius and Olivia? They were standing closer together than they had in a long time. Lily smiled, taking that as a good sign.

"What are you all doing here?"

"We all wanted to see you, and this seemed like the easiest way," Sirius said. "But don't worry. This isn't a party, and it isn't going to last long. We just wanted to say hello." He looked pensive for a moment. "We haven't had a good party in ages. What do you say we plan one?"

"You have time to plan a party, Sirius?" Laura laughed.

Sirius nodded. "Party at my place. Details to follow."

Remus shook his head. "Are you planning to let James and Lily tell us about their trip?"

"Sorry," Sirius said with a sheepish grin. "Right you are, Moony. How was the trip, guys?"

"Paradise," Lily sighed. "I didn't want to leave!"

"It was fantastic," James added. "And Lily was right about it helping me."

"You mean -?" Sirius began, not really knowing how to phrase his question.

James nodded. "I feel like myself again."

Sirius grinned. "Welcome back, mate."

"Thanks," James said. "But what's been going on around here? Have you missed us?"

"Loads," Laura grinned. "Dana, Liv and I missed Lily the other day when we went out."

"You went out without me?" Lily exclaimed.

"I didn't think you'd want to be out drinking," Olivia said in defense of their evening on the town.

"Well, I could have had something nonalcoholic," Lily replied. "Although, I do have to admit that I've been going to sleep earlier recently. This pregnancy is exhausting!" She smiled at Laura. "Be prepared for some early nights."

Laura smiled. "I think I can handle it."

"Did you girls have fun?" Lily asked.

"We did," Dana said with a mischievous smile. "Liv met a man!"

Lily's eyebrows shot up as she turned to Olivia. "Really?"

Olivia nodded with a flush to her cheeks. "His name is Greg Wilson. He went to Hogwarts, but was in Ravenclaw and a few years older than us."

"Seeker for Ravenclaw?" James asked.

Olivia looked at him in surprise. "How did you remember that?"

"I never forget the competition," James grinned.

While Olivia began recounting her first date with Greg, James looked over at Sirius. He was clenching his jaw, and his eyes were unreadable. After several moments of listening to Olivia, he stood up and went to the kitchen. Without hesitating, James followed him.

"Are you all right, Padfoot?" he asked as he entered the room.

"Yeah, I guess," Sirius replied. He opened the refrigerator and took out a butterbeer. "You want one?"

"Sure," James agreed.

They both opened their bottles, and drank in silence for a moment. James glanced at his friend, who had an uncharacteristically pensive look on his face.

"Are you going to talk to me, or are we going to sit here in silence all night?"

Sirius gave him a smile, and put his drink down on the counter. "I can't believe she's dating that prat. Do you remember him? Greg Wilson had nothing going for him."

"Aside from being in Ravenclaw, and therefore being pretty intelligent," James said. "And he was their Seeker, so that shows rather impressive athletic ability."

"Are you trying to make me feel better or worse?" Sirius grinned.

"Sorry," James smiled. "I'm just being brutally honest. Look, if it bothers you that much that she's dating him, why don't you just go talk to her?"

"I can't," Sirius said miserably. "I hate this, and I want him as far away from her as humanly possible, but I can't interfere."

"Who are you, and what have you done with Sirius Black?"

Sirius smiled. "First of all, I'm dating Rebecca now, so I'm not supposed to care about who Olivia dates. Second, I told her off yesterday for being mean to Rebecca, saying that she doesn't have any right to get involved in my love life anymore. Either way, it would be extremely hypocritical for me to get involved in this."

"But you do care," James said.

"I have Rebecca now," Sirius said stubbornly. "Olivia can do whatever the hell she wants with her life. That's what she wants. That's what she decided when she broke up with me. I told her yesterday that she has to live with it. Well, so do I."

James sighed. When Sirius got into moods like this, there was no talking him out of them immediately. He'd just have to wait before trying to bring this topic up again. "All right, so you're fine with Olivia dating Greg. Shall we join everyone else, then?"

"All right," Sirius agreed, still scowling slightly.

Taking their butterbeers with them, they reentered the living room, where Olivia was just winding down her story of her date with Greg.

"Anything new other than the new beau?" Lily asked as Olivia stopped talking.

Olivia glanced at Sirius, who had sat down with James on the couch. "Sirius and I are working in the field now."

"Really?" James said with interest. "That's great! They usually don't let new Aurors out of the office so early."

"They made an exception for us, given our Order training," Sirius said. "We're the only two allowed to do field work."

"Are you a team, then?" James asked.

Olivia nodded. "We just had our first case yesterday."

"How was it?" Lily asked.

Olivia shuddered. "Awful. We found two Death Eaters torturing a couple of Muggle kids."

Peter grimaced with the knowledge that he would have to relay this information – that the Aurors now knew about the torture of Muggle children – to his master. _Why_ wouldn't they stop talking about things like this in front of him? One way or another, the Dark Lord would get all this information from him. He didn't want to know what they were planning, or what they were doing at work – in his position ignorance was the best path.

"The thing is, we don't know what they were after," Sirius said. "I mean, torturing kids? It doesn't make much sense. We told Moody about it, and he said he'd launch an investigation. Even so, we were thinking that some extra investigation wouldn't hurt . . ." He looked at Olivia, who nodded slightly. "Little Flower, we thought if you were bored at work . . ."

Lily nodded. "I'll tell Minnie. We'll start investigating tomorrow."

Peter wanted to groan. He really was better off not knowing what his friends were doing.

* * *

"Hey!"

"Well, welcome back!" Minnie exclaimed as Lily walked into her office. "How was your trip? Look at your tan!"

Lily laughed. "You mean my lack of tan? I've never tanned well, Min, and I know it. There's no need to pretend for the sake of my feelings."

Minnie laughed. "Well, I wasn't going to say anything, but you still look a little pale. It is a darker pale than usual, though."

Lily laughed again. "Thanks, I guess."

"You haven't missed too terribly much," Minnie said. "We've had activity all over the place, but nothing that required intense work. The Death Eaters appear to be getting bolder. They aren't as worried about covertness as they once were."

"I guess that makes our job a little easier."

"I suppose. I just hope it's making the Aurors' jobs easier, too."

"Oh, speaking of which, I have a lead for us," Lily said, pulling a piece of parchment out of her pocket. "Liv and Sirius came over to visit last night, and told James and I about a case they were on the other day. They stopped two Death Eaters from torturing a couple of Muggle kids."

"Bloody hell," Minnie muttered. "They're torturing kids? Were adults involved?"

"No, just kids," Lily replied. "That's the part that concerned Sirius and Olivia. They thought that we might want to start investigating to see if they have further plots that involve kids, and what exactly their purpose is with them."

"Good idea," Minnie agreed. "Let's run it by Dorcas, and get working."

"She's not going to let me go out to do any field work, you know," Lily said, wrinkling her nose.

"That's okay," Minnie assured her. "You can get in contact with all our sources, and see what you can uncover with them. I'll do any reconnaissance we need."

Lily sighed and nodded. "I suppose it'll have to do."

* * *

"Welcome back," James smiled as his Ravenclaw fifth years fell silent. "I hope you all had a relaxing break."

The students laughed and made faces, pulling the essays he had assigned from their bags. James grinned.

"_Accio essays_!" He deftly caught the rolls of parchment, and put them on his desk. "I'm sure these are examples of your best work, given the amount of time you had to work on them."

The students laughed again, although some looked genuinely concerned. James smiled, trying to put them at ease.

"So, no one had time for anything but homework since the last time we had class?"

His question was met by blank looks, and he shook his head. These Ravenclaws truly were too studious.

"Did you have a relaxing break, Professor?" one of the girls asked.

"Yes, it was very nice," he smiled. "I went to the Canary Islands with my wife."

"That's so unfair!" another girl cried. "I want to go to the Canary Islands!"

"Well, eliminate Professor Potter's wife and marry him, and maybe next time, he'll take you," one of the boys offered.

"Don't discuss murder plots in front of me," James laughed. "I think I'm legally bound to turn you in."

The students all laughed.

"Right, let's get to work," he said. "You have your OWLs rather rapidly approaching, and we want to make sure that you're prepared."

After a review of the theory behind the spells they had been working with before Easter, James put them through a rather rigorous practice session. By the time the bell rang, the students looked exhausted.

"You've all done excellent work today," he grinned. "For homework, please review _and_ _practice_ your shield charms, and read the chapter on intermediate jinxes – that's what we're going to work on next time. Have a good day, everyone."

He walked out with them, stationing himself by his door to watch this class leave and his next class come in. The Ravenclaws all grinned at him as they walked out the door.

"Bye, Professor!"

"See you!"

"Thanks!"

"Thanks?" a new voice sneered.

James looked over at the source, and saw his least favorite coworker coming down the hall. "What's wrong, Professor Snape? Your students don't thank you for teaching them? With all that knowledge you have to impart, I'd think that they'd be very grateful to have you as their teacher."

"I'm glad to see that your little trip has brought back your sarcastic attitude," Snape snapped.

"And I'm glad to see that your attitude hasn't changed a bit," James said cheerfully. "It would be incredibly odd to have you here being pleasant."

"Good morning, Professor."

"Hi, Hayley," James smiled as the girl walked into the room. "Well, Professor, if you'll just excuse me, I have a class to teach. I'm sure you understand."

"Hi, Professor Potter."

"Good morning, Jordan."

Snape knew that he couldn't insult James in front of the students; he settled for giving him a glare that would have intimidated most people, and swept off down the hall. James grinned as he watched him go. It was great to be back at work. It was great to be a part of what he was doing again, rather than just going through the motions of teaching. It was great to feel alive again.

* * *

Lily made her way into her office, shutting her door behind her. She put locking and silencing charms on the room in preparation for her meeting with her source. One of his stipulations in meeting with her was that only she and Minnie could know his identity. As Minnie was currently out gathering any information she could find regarding abuse of children by Death Eaters, Lily was on her own for this meeting.

Promptly at five o'clock, the room glowed bright gold. The initial bright light faded away, leaving the face of her informant in a glowing halo on her communication wall.

"Hi, Lily," he greeted with a smile. "It's been awhile."

"Hi, Carl. I've been on vacation," she smiled. "How are the kids?"

"Great. They're thrilled to be this close to summer. They keep telling me that your husband is giving them too much homework. They said they barely had time to eat over the Easter holidays because of all the work. They want you to tell him to lighten up."

Lily laughed. "I'll tell him, but I'm not sure how much good it'll do."

He grinned. "How are you feeling?"

"Pretty good at this point."

"That's good. Still planning on an August baby?"

"_I_ am," she laughed. "But it's not really up to me, is it?"

"Not at all," Carl grinned. "My first was two weeks late, and my third was three weeks early. The second was on time to the day, though. You never know with these babies."

"Well, this one will be on time," Lily grinned. "I can feel it."

Carl grinned. "Well, I wish you luck on that one."

"Thanks."

"I suppose you called me here because you need some information?"

"Yeah," Lily said, picking up her recording quill and parchment. "We've gotten some word of Death Eaters torturing Muggle kids. Any news on that front?"

A pained expression crossed Carl's normally jovial face. "Is Minnie around?"

"Minnie?" Lily asked in surprise. "No, she's out meeting with another source right now. Why? What's up?"

"I'd just rather talk kid stuff with her – I don't want to upset you. And this is Muggles _and_ kids, so . . ."

"Carl, I'm a professional. I can take it."

He shrugged, but the pained expression remained. "All right, here goes. Torture of Muggle children is happening, it's condoned by You-Know-Who himself, and it's planned. They're currently watching the Muggle kids. They're studying their habits, waiting to find a good time to capture them. They've studied their lives enough to know what will be the best thing to use to lure them away. It's all very well thought out."

Lily frowned. "But why?"

Carl drew a deep breath. "They want to torture them either to the point of death or sterilization – they want to destroy the Muggles from the youngest members up. If the kids can't survive, or can't reproduce, once the adults die off the Muggles will die off with them. But you know how the Death Eaters are. They're going to have their fun with the kids first. The ones that your friends saved were lucky that they got there when they did. Not all the kids are that lucky."

Lily looked at him in horror. "Carl, are you sure?"

"I'm as sure as is humanly possible," he said firmly. "Believe me, the Death Eaters weren't happy to know that Sirius and Olivia discovered that this is going on. They knew it would get back to the Aurors, and to you."

"They knew that we'd open an investigation," Lily murmured.

"Yeah, they saw that coming," Carl said. "Watch your back, Lily. Once this story hits, you and Minnie are going to be in a lot of danger."

"I'm always in a lot of danger, Carl. You've read what I write."

"Yeah, but I don't know how much more they're going to take from you. Just be careful, all right?"

"I will."

"Promise me, Lily. Promise me that you'll be careful."

"All right, I promise," she said, surprised by his concern. "What aren't you telling me, Carl?"

He sighed, and ran his hands over his face. "You're one of their most hated, Lily. I don't know what you've done in your life, but you're on the list. So is your husband, and so are most of your friends."

Lily's eyes widened. "Why would they be on the list? I'm the writer, not them."

"I don't know yet. I'm still trying to figure that out."

"It just doesn't make sense . . ." Lily said, trailing off into silence.

"I didn't think so, either," Carl admitted. "If it were just you, Sirius and Olivia, I'd understand, but to add all the others . . . I'm going to figure it out, Lily. I'll do anything I can to keep you and your friends safe."

Suddenly, everything clicked into place. Lily understood exactly what they had all done to earn the Death Eaters' ire. "The Order," she mumbled. "They know who the Order members are."

"What?" Carl asked, frowning slightly.

"Nothing," she said quickly. "Any other information right now?"

"Nothing now," he said. "But I'll be sure to give you anything else I uncover as soon as I can."

"Thanks, Carl," she smiled. "Once again, you have been invaluable."

"So you always say," he grinned. "Talk to you soon, darling. Take care."

"You, too," she said.

Carl disappeared, and Lily ran to grab her Floo powder. She needed to talk to Dumbledore.

* * *

Despite the fact that she wanted to talk to Dumbledore, James's fire was the only one she had access to. She Flooed into his office, and found him sitting at his desk.

"Lily!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing here? This is a fantastic surprise!"

"Hi, love," she smiled, crossing the room to kiss him. "I don't want to act like I'm not glad to see you, but I really need to talk to Dumbledore."

James's eyes widened. "What's happened?"

Lily glanced around the room. "I'd rather not discuss it here."

James nodded. "I'll take you to his office."

They walked quickly through the halls. Many students greeted James, who grinned and said hello to each of them. In spite of her concern over their present situation, she was pleased to see how well respected James had become. He obviously had developed good relationships with his students.

They reached the gargoyle guarding the Headmaster's office. No longer knowing the password, Lily looked at James expectantly.

"Acid pop," he said.

Lily grinned, remembering the professor's love of all sweets. The gargoyle sprang to life, and they stepped on the moving staircase that would take them up to the office.

Dumbledore's door was open when they stepped off the staircase. James knocked on the open door, and the Headmaster looked up from this desk.

"James! Come in."

James stepped back to let Lily pass before him. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as he smiled at her; he looked as if he had never been so excited to see anyone walk through his door. Lily couldn't help grinning at him. She loved the way the Headmaster could make absolutely anyone feel like the most special person in the world.

"Lily, hello," he said, giving her a delighted smile. "It's been far too long since I've seen you. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," she said with a smile. Despite her concern, she immediately felt herself relax in Dumbledore's presence. He had such a calming aura about him; it was as though any problems solved themselves just by his listening to them.

Dumbledore waved at the parchment on his desk. "It looks as though I'm going to need to find a new Divination professor," he commented.

"Has Professor Turner resigned, then?" James asked, not the least bit surprised.

"Yes," Dumbledore said. "She says here that the time has come for her to retire."

"Will it be difficult to find a replacement for her?"

"A replacement?" Dumbledore asked. He smiled. "It is exceptionally difficult to find a true Seer. If I am unsuccessful in my quest, I may just eliminate the class from our schedule. We offer plenty of other courses of study without it. And, to be perfectly honest, it's better not to offer Divination if it isn't taught by a true Seer."

James nodded. "I suppose you're right."

Dumbledore placed the letter of resignation in a stack, and turned to Lily. "I assume that you did not come here to listen to me talk about my staff," he said, folding his hands. "What seems to be troubling you, Lily?"

"It's a conversation I just had at work, sir," she said. "I was talking with one of my sources within the Death Eater circle, who informed me of something rather disturbing."

"Is it about the Muggle children?" Dumbledore asked heavily. "We've been working to undermine that for about a month. Now that the Aurors and the Daily Prophet are joining the battle, perhaps we'll be more successful."

Lily shook her head. "No, that's not what I came about. That is horrifying, but I'm sure that with all the resources we have at our disposal, we'll be able to do something to stop it. I'm actually more concerned about something else he told me."

"And that is . . .?"

"He was really worried about me – he kept telling me to be careful, and that my life is in danger. When I asked what he was on about, he said that my name is on some sort of list. He said James is on it, too, as are most of my friends."

Dumbledore's forehead creased slightly into a frown. "Which friends?"

"He didn't give me specific names, but I'm thinking –"

"The Order members," Dumbledore finished.

"Yes," Lily said quietly. "There's no other reason for James to be on the list. Sirius, Olivia and I work in fields that put us in danger, but James is a teacher. There's no reason for them to target teachers."

Dumbledore nodded. "Yes," he said. "I suppose our suspicions have been confirmed, then."

"What suspicions?" James asked.

"Alastor Moody and I have been concerned about this for some time, but this list is the confirmation we have been awaiting," Dumbledore said. He looked straight at Lily and James with a penetrating stare. "There is a source that is informing the Death Eaters of our members' names."

"You mean -?" James asked fearfully.

Dumbledore nodded. "One of our Order members is a spy for Voldemort."


	36. No Easy Solution

A/N: I just wanted to alert you to a change in my normal Friday posting schedule. I will not be posting the next chapter next Friday – it's going to be posted either Saturday or Sunday. I'm going to be flying all day Friday, so the chances of me getting to a computer to post are pretty slim. The good news, however, is that I'm flying home for break! So, after next weekend, I'll definitely be posting more regularly.

Thank you all for reading and reviewing, and remember – next update by 20 March!

I don't own Harry Potter.

No Easy Solution

_Love is simple__  
Hate breeds__  
Those who think difference__  
Is the child of disease__  
Father and son__  
Make love and guns__  
Families together__  
Kill someone __  
Without love__  
I believe in love_

_Without love,__  
I wouldn't believe __  
In anything that lives and breathes__  
Without love,__  
I'd have no anger__  
I wouldn't believe__  
In the right to stand here__  
Without love,__  
I wouldn't believe__  
I couldn't believe in you,__  
And I wouldn't believe in me__  
Without love__  
I believe in love__  
- Believe_, Elton John

James felt as though he had been slapped. How could this be happening? How could one of their own members have turned against them? He trusted all the Order members – he had defended their lives in battle situations just as they had defended his. He felt like he was going to be sick.

"How?" he managed to ask. "How could someone play both sides like that?"

"Plenty of people do," Dumbledore said easily. "Think of Lily's source. The only reason that we know that Voldemort has a list of the Order members' names is because this person is willing to work with both sides. These people are doing no more or less than what you are as an Order member. They're willing to risk their lives for what they believe. What they believe happens to oppose what we believe, but that doesn't make it any less real or 'right' to them."

"But to spy for Voldemort?" James muttered. "How can that seem like a good idea?"

"For the same reason that spying for me is," Dumbledore replied.

"You have spies?"

"Oh, yes," the Headmaster nodded. "I have several spies placed within the Death Eater organization. They are not Order members to protect their identities, so you do not know who they are."

"But this," Lily whispered. "Isn't there anything that can be done?"

James looked at her, noting that she looked as ill as he did. "Can't we find out what this person is after?" he asked.

Dumbledore looked thoughtful for a moment. "That is an interesting point," he said. "It would appear that they are looking to destroy the Order as a whole."

"What makes you say that?" Lily asked curiously.

"They are currently only giving Voldemort broad information. Several attacks that we knew were being planned never happened – clearly, the spy passed on the information that we had heard about them. On several occasions, Aurors were sent in to arrest Death Eaters at a meeting, only to discover that the meeting had been cancelled – again, the spy alerted them to our plans. These are difficulties, naturally, but have not targeted any one member of the Order."

"But now they have our names," James said.

"Yes," Dumbledore said. "But based on the information Lily has given me, they have _all_ our names. They don't just have my name, or yours or Alastor Moody's. They have marked all of us, not only one or two."

"Should we be relieved that they're going after the organization as a whole rather than a specific member?" James asked.

Dumbledore smiled slightly. "You knew when you joined the Order that your lives would be in danger. That danger may now be a bit more constant, but it is still the same danger."

"Our lives would have been in danger anyway," Lily shrugged. "We're in the middle of a war that takes aim at people like me – and at people like James for marrying people like me." She looked at her husband. "Professor Dumbledore's right, James. In terms of our personal safety, nothing has changed."

"I know that," James said. "I just wish we knew who it was that is leaking information to Voldemort. If I knew, I'd make sure that person could never speak again."

"Acting out of vengeance is rarely the best course of action, James," Dumbledore said softly. "However, we do need to discover who the spy is."

"How can we do that?" Lily asked.

"You have done quite a bit to help us already," Dumbledore replied with a smile. "As for uncovering this person's identity . . . As of this moment, everyone is a suspect."

"Everyone?" James asked, raising his eyebrows.

Dumbledore smiled. "I won't put the two of you in that category. I know that I can trust you both. But, clearly, one of our number cannot be trusted. Aside from the two of you, Alastor Moody and Frank Longbottom, I consider everyone a suspect." He gave James a penetrating look. "_Everyone_."

* * *

James and Lily walked back to his office hand in hand. Their intertwined fingers prompted many giggles from the students they passed, particularly the girls, but neither cared. After the conversation with Dumbledore, they needed the physical contact. They needed to feel close to one another.

Alone in his office, James pulled Lily into a tight embrace. He held her for a long time, each clinging to the other.

"My God, James," Lily whispered against his chest. "How could this have happened?"

"It's like Dumbledore said," James murmured against her hair, "everyone has to fight for what they believe in."

"But how could anyone believe in Voldemort's cause?" Lily asked with a shudder.

"I don't know," James said heavily. "But if no one did, we wouldn't be in this war right now. It was bound to happen, Lil. Someone was bound to start spying on us for Voldemort."

Lily nodded, and pulled back from him. "And now it has happened, and we have to find a way to fight it. We have to find a way to discover who this spy is, and to eliminate him or her from the Order."

James frowned. "Everyone is a suspect," he muttered. "Did you see the look that Dumbledore gave me when he said that? What do you think that he meant by that?"

"That you should watch your back?" Lily offered with a shrug. "Maybe he thinks that you're too trusting."

James shook his head. "I don't know. I want to ask Sirius about this, though. Maybe he'll know who the spy is."

Lily nodded slowly. "I don't think we should tell too many people yet."

"Why not?"

"Well, the more people that know, the better chance of it getting back to Voldemort that we know he has a spy within the Order. And if it does get back to him, I don't even want to think about the consequences."

James nodded. "All right. I do want to talk to Sirius about this, though. I'll swear him to secrecy. It won't go beyond you, Sirius and I."

"All right," Lily agreed, knowing that she trusted Sirius Black with her life. "Let me know what he thinks."

* * *

"Sirius?"

Sirius came out of the kitchen with a smile. "Hey, gorgeous."

Rebecca smiled. "What's going on? That letter you sent me asking me to come over didn't give many details."

"Well, I knew that we both had the day off, so I thought we could spend it together."

She smiled wider, and stepped across the room to kiss him. "That sounds lovely."

"Good," Sirius replied, kissing her again. "I made you lunch."

"Some sort of sandwich, I assume?"

"Of course," Sirius laughed. "We didn't get very far with the cooking lesson last time, did we?"

Rebecca laughed. "I didn't hear you complaining at the time."

"Nor will you hear me complain ever," Sirius grinned. "That was the best cooking lesson I'd ever had. You certainly are good at what you do."

Rebecca flushed slightly. "Are we still talking about cooking?"

Sirius leaned down to kiss her neck. "What do you think?" he whispered.

"God, Sirius," she moaned, tipping her head to the side to give him easier access to her neck. "Why do you have to be so good at this?"

He pulled his head up to look into her eyes. "Natural talent."

She laughed, and pushed him away. "Take that ego to the other side of the room."

He laughed. "Come on, let's go into the kitchen for lunch."

"All right," she agreed.

"Sit down," he said, indicating a chair at the table, which was already laid out with plates and cutlery.

"You put the forks on the wrong side," she laughed.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "So picky."

"I'm just trying to help!" she said defensively. She laughed. "But I suppose it's the effort that counts."

"That's right," Sirius said, putting a tray of sandwiches down in front of her. "How's that for effort?"

"Fantastic," she said, giving him a glowing smile.

He sat down across from her, and offered her a sandwich before taking one himself. "How does your schedule look for next Friday?" he asked.

"Friday? I think I'm off that day. Why? Are we having another lunch date?"

"No," Sirius smiled. "I'm thinking of having a party for my friends that day, and I want you to come."

"A party?" she asked, her eyes lighting up. "What's the occasion?"

"No occasion," Sirius said. "We haven't had a party in awhile, so I want us to have the chance to get together. Besides, who says we need something specific to celebrate? With all that's going on in our world right now, I think we should be able to celebrate just being alive."

Rebecca's smile faded. "That's a rather morbid thought, Sirius," she said quietly.

"But it's true," Sirius replied. "So, will you come to my party?"

"Of course," she smiled. "Does this mean you're going to make me cater it?"

"Of course not!" Sirius exclaimed indignantly. "That's what restaurants are for!"

They both laughed, then chewed in silence for a moment, each busy with different thoughts. After a moment, an odd look came over Rebecca's face, surprising Sirius. He could only describe it as being somewhere between nervousness and dread.

"What's going through that pretty head of yours?" he asked.

In an instant, the look vanished, and she gave him a warm smile. "Nothing," she said quickly – too quickly.

"Rebecca, lying to me does no good," he sighed. "What's wrong?"

She smiled again. "I just told you, it's nothing."

"Sweetheart, you have to be able to tell me what you're thinking."

She sighed. "All right, then. Is this party for _all_ your friends?"

"Of course."

"And does that include Olivia?"

"I'm going to invite her, but I don't know for sure if she'll come or not."

Rebecca nodded slowly, and looked thoughtful. Sirius watched her face for a moment, then sighed.

"Rebecca, I can't _not_ invite her. I've been friends with her as long as I've been friends with Lily and Dana. To invite everyone else and not her is just rude."

"She's not _just_ your friend, Sirius. She's much more."

"No," he said firmly. "No, she's my friend and my coworker, but nothing more. I told you the other day that everything is over between Liv and I. You have nothing to worry about."

"All right."

"You don't believe me, do you?"

She smiled slightly, rising from her seat. "Can you seal your words for me?"

"With what?" he asked curiously, watching her every move.

She rounded the table to stand next to him, and leaned down to whisper in his ear. "A kiss."

"A kiss?" Sirius grinned. "All right, I think I can pay that price."

He reached up just as she reached down, and their lips met in a passionate kiss. Rebecca sat down on his lap, and he pulled her closer as they both sank into the kiss, letting their hands explore one another's bodies.

They had just reached the point when Sirius was going to suggest that they go back to his bedroom when a soft pop split the air.

"Did you hear that?" Rebecca gasped as Sirius kissed her neck and ran his hands over her body.

"Hear what?" he murmured.

"Sirius?" A new voice drifted in from the living room.

Sirius and Rebecca pulled apart quickly, looking at one another in shock.

"Who is that?" Rebecca asked.

"James," Sirius said with a smile that conveyed both affection and exasperation. "He does have impeccable timing, doesn't he?"

"Sirius? Are you home?"

"Hang on a minute, Prongs!" Sirius yelled. "Just wait in the living room!"

"All right," came the rather confused reply.

Sirius looked at Rebecca. "Want to go say hello?"

A look of horror crossed her face. "What will he think if he sees me looking like this?"

"That we were having fun until he interrupted it," Sirius replied. "He's married, Rebecca. He knows what goes on in relationships behind closed doors."

She smiled. "Well, at least let me fix myself first." She began buttoning her blouse, then readjusted her skirt to sit right on her hips.

Sirius straightened out his own clothes, putting his shirt back on and buttoning his jeans. He ran his hand through his hair to smooth it back down, and, thinking that he looked completely normal, walked out into the living room.

James took one look at him and burst into laughter.

"What?" Sirius asked in confusion.

"Were you shagging Rebecca on the kitchen table?"

"No," Sirius said, wondering how James had managed to guess so close to the truth.

"You've taken to wearing lipstick, then?"

Sirius crossed the room to the mirror that hung over the fireplace and studied himself critically. His face did indeed bear quite a bit of Rebecca's lipstick, and his hair was sticking up not unlike James's did on a daily basis. He grinned.

"Well, I was snogging her."

"So I can see."

"And I would have been shagging her if _someone_ hadn't decided to stop by for an unannounced visit."

James waved an impatient hand. "Since when have we ever announced visits? I need to talk to you."

"All right," Sirius said, instantly realizing that this was going to be a rather heavy conversation. He sat down on the couch, across from the chair James was currently sitting on. "What's up?"

James glanced around. "Is Rebecca still here?"

"Right here," she said, coming into the living room. "How are you, James? It's nice to see you again."

"It's good to see you, too," James smiled. "Sorry to interrupt your visit. I had no idea you were here."

"It's all right," she smiled. "I should be going anyway. Sirius, I'll see you soon, all right?"

"All right," he smiled, standing up to give her a farewell kiss.

The kiss was longer than was normally necessary, and when it ended, Sirius held her tightly against him.

"We'll get together soon to finish what we started," he whispered.

She giggled. "I can't wait."

Sirius released her, and she Disapparated. He took his seat on the couch again, and looked at James, who was shaking his head.

"What?" Sirius asked.

"You are such a horny bastard," James grinned.

"And proud of it," Sirius laughed. He shrugged. "What can I do? She's gorgeous."

"You've decided that you love her, then?"

He sighed, and ran his hands over his face. "I don't know."

"You know, it's a pretty big difference between love and lust," James said.

"Yes, I know," Sirius said testily. "Did you come here to lecture me?"

"No, I actually came here to talk about something else. But, that's my token pearl of wisdom for the day."

"'Pearl of wisdom?'" Sirius repeated with a laugh. "What are you, an eighty-year-old woman? Who says that?"

James laughed, and waved his hand. "Quit getting me off topic."

"Oh, we had a topic?"

"We're about to."

"All right, let's hear what you came all the way over here to say."

James drew a deep breath. "I just came from Dumbledore's office. I was there with Lily."

"Is she all right?" Sirius asked with concern.

"Yeah, she's fine. But she had just had an interesting conversation with one of her sources at the Prophet, and she wanted to relay the information to Dumbledore."

"What's happened?"

"Her source told her that the Death Eaters have a list of Order members."

The color drained from Sirius's face. "What? How is that possible? Our identities are some of the most strongly-guarded information on the planet."

"I know," James said heavily. "Dumbledore said this confirms suspicions that he and Moody have had for awhile – that one of the Order members is a spy for Voldemort."

Sirius's eyes grew wide, then narrowed. "And just who is it?"

"They don't know. Dumbledore said that right now, everyone is a suspect."

"Everyone?"

"Everyone. Well, accept for Dumbledore himself, Moody, Longbottom, and Lily and I."

"How did you two get off the hit list?"

James shrugged. "I guess because we were the ones to tell him."

Sirius whistled, and ran his hands through his hair. "Shit, James. This is really bad."

"I know."

"How did Dumbledore take it?"

"Oh, you know him. Nothing can shake him from that calm demeanor."

Sirius shook his head. "So he's not worried?"

"Oh, no. He's worried. I could tell that. But he's not going to let it beat him. He's going to discover the spy, and remove them from the Order."

"How's he going to do that?"

James shrugged. "I was hoping that you'd have some idea who it is."

Sirius shook his head. "I trust everyone in the Order. Apparently, that's misplaced trust, but it's still there. They've all defended me in battle situations. How could I not trust them after that?"

James sighed. "I don't know, Sirius. I just don't know what to do."

"We'll follow Dumbledore's advice," Sirius said with a half smile. "We just act normal, yet suspect everyone."

James laughed. "Yeah, it does sound a little odd, doesn't it?"

"We'll find him, James," Sirius said. "We'll discover this spy, and we'll save the Order."

"But _how_?" James asked in exasperation. "How can we discover someone when the only advice that our leader has is to suspect everyone?"

"Well, let's think," Sirius said. "Who has the most spy-like tendencies?"

"Define spy-like."

"I don't know. I've never been a spy. Let's say it's someone who's shady."

"Shady?" James repeated. He thought for a moment. "Dumbledore's brother."

"Aberforth?" Sirius laughed.

"Yes," James said stubbornly. "Have you met him? He's the oddest person I've ever known!"

"Yeah, but 'odd' doesn't necessarily mean 'spy.' There's no way he could be the spy. First of all, I don't think he's got enough sense to be a spy. Second, there's no way in hell that _Dumbledore's brother_ would be a spy for Voldemort. That's like suggesting that Barty Crouch's son is a Death Eater."

"I didn't even know that Crouch had a son."

"Oh, yeah. Quite bright. He got more OWLs than should be allowed by law a couple years ago. This year he takes his NEWTs. I can't wait to see Dad's reaction if he doesn't do well."

James grinned. "You're getting us off topic again."

"Sorry. Right, back to this spy. Other than Dumbledore's brother, who's a shady enough character to be a spy?"

James ran his hands through his hair, clutching it as he had done when tutoring Peter at Hogwarts. "Shit, Sirius, I don't know. How the hell are we going to figure this out?"

"I don't know," Sirius said. "But I do know whose advice we should take."

"Whose?"

"Moody's," he said promptly. "We need to practice constant vigilance."

James laughed in spite of himself. "He does go on about that all the time, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, but it applies! I mean, we just have to watch everyone, and see who's acting the shadiest. We have to be observant, and watch for anything that might indicate that one particular person is spying for Voldemort."

"This isn't going to be fun," James said.

"No," Sirius agreed. "And it's probably going to be a long road until we find them."

"It's going to be tough to sit and wait, too," James said. He grinned. "Can your lack of patience handle it?"

"It's going to be tough," Sirius agreed, his face rather pensive. Then, his somber expression brightened. "But until we can discover this spy and toss them out of England, we'll celebrate."

"Celebrate?"

"Yes, celebrate. I'm having a party next Friday."

"What's the occasion?"

"Living until then," Sirius said grimly.

* * *

By the end of the next day, Sirius had issued invitations to all but one of his friends. Olivia remained ignorant of the party. He wasn't waiting to tell her because of Rebecca's concerns, but rather because he wanted to talk to her in person about it. Knowing that he would see her at work, he had put it off.

When he arrived at the Auror Department, Olivia was nowhere to be found. Sirius grinned, knowing that she was probably hiding in her office. All the new Aurors had become masters at avoiding anyone who could potentially give them "office projects." He went to her office, and knocked on the door.

"Come in."

He pushed the door open and stepped into the small office. Olivia was alone in the room, sitting at her desk, looking extremely busy as her quill moved rapidly across a piece of parchment.

"Hello," Sirius greeted.

"Sirius," she said, looking up from her desk. "I thought you were someone with a filing task for me. They've already come for my officemates."

Sirius grinned. "No, no filing. I did come to talk to you, though, but if you're busy, I can come back later."

Olivia laughed, and held up the parchment she had been writing on. "It's my grocery list. I'm not busy, but I'm trying to look like I am so anyone who wants to give me work to do will feel bad about it. I'm hoping it'll make them change their minds." She put the parchment and quill down on her desk, and looked up at Sirius, giving him her full attention. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Well, I wanted to invite you to a party I'm having next Friday."

"Next Friday?" Olivia repeated.

"Yes. I know that James and Lily will be there, and so will Remus and Laura. Dana and Peter both said they'd let me know."

Olivia bit her lower lip in concentration, and, watching her, Sirius shifted uncomfortably. He wondered if she knew how endearing that facial expression was. Any time she had done that while they had been dating, it had made him want to kiss her. Unfortunately, it still had the same affect now; however, unlike then, he couldn't act on his emotions.

"I guess I can come," she said. "But can I bring Greg? We're supposed to go out that night, but we don't have definite plans yet."

"Of course," Sirius said, tension finding its way into his voice.

"Are you sure?" Olivia asked. "I won't bring him if it's a problem."

"Why should it be a problem?" Sirius asked, trying for a lighter tone. "If you're supposed to see him, of course you should bring him."

Olivia nodded. "Thanks. I need to talk to him first to confirm, but as far as I'm concerned, we'll be there." She wanted desperately to ask if Rebecca would be there, but refrained. After the screaming match she and Sirius had had not even a week ago, she knew it was far better to keep all Rebecca-related questions to herself.

"Good," Sirius said. "Next Friday at eight, then."

"Perfect."

He nodded, and backed up. "I'll just let you get back to your grocery list."

Olivia grinned. "Thanks for the invitation, Sirius."

"You're welcome."

* * *

After work, Olivia took the lift up to Muggle London. She and Greg had arranged to meet for coffee at the end of the day. For once, Olivia was working normal business hours, enabling them to get together. She reached street-level, and headed toward the building Greg had described.

She opened the door of the coffee shop, and saw Greg already seated at a table with two steaming mugs in front of him. A smile lit her face, and she crossed the room to join him.

"Hey," he grinned, rising from his seat to greet her. He kissed her cheek, and pulled out her chair for her. "I'm sorry, but I already ordered our drinks. I know you said that you like minty things, so I got you this mint coffee."

She smiled, feeling mildly annoyed that he had taken it upon himself to order for her. Then she became annoyed with herself for being annoyed. After all, he was just being thoughtful. "Thanks. Have you tried it before?"

Greg grinned as he sat down again. "No, I usually stick to straight coffee. But you'll have to tell me what you think of it."

She took a sip, and smiled. "It's really good! You should try it. Do you want a sip?"

"Thanks, but I think I'll just drink my own beverage." He looked at her for a moment. "How was work?"

"It was work," she shrugged. Then, remembering her conversation with Sirius, she sat up straighter. "Oh, there is something I need to talk to you about."

"What's that?"

"Did you have anything special in mind for what we're doing next Friday?"

"Not yet," he replied. "Have you had a sudden stroke of brilliance on that front?"

"Sort of," Olivia laughed. "My friend is having a party that he wants us to come to. I said I'd check with you, but I'm sure he'll want to know if we're coming or not so that he can plan everything."

"Sure," Greg replied, "that sounds fine. Does this mean I'm going to meet your friends?"

"Yes," Olivia grinned. "And they'll most likely all be there, too, so you'll get to meet everyone at once."

"Sounds dangerous," he grinned.

"It can be," she replied. "But they don't usually bite."

Realizing the reference she had just made to Remus, Olivia wanted to take the words back, but it was too late. Fortunately, Greg was oblivious to her mistake.

"I'm excited to meet them," he assured her. "I'm sure they're great people."

"Er – there is one thing you should know," Olivia said hesitantly. She wasn't sure if it was wise to make this confession or not, but she had to let him know before he found out on his own.

"What's that? You were kidding about your friends biting, right?"

"Yeah, that was a joke," she said. "But Sirius, my friend who's hosting the party, is the one I used to be involved with."

"Your old boyfriend?" Greg asked, his eyebrows shooting up. "He's the one you nearly killed that waitress over? The one you're not ready to see with someone new?"

"Yes."

"And you're still friends?"

"Yes."

"Good enough friends for him to invite you to a party he's hosting?"

"Obviously," Olivia replied, becoming annoyed by his line of questioning.

Greg looked at her in disbelief. "Why? I mean, if it were me, I would never want to speak to him again. In fact, I haven't spoken to any of my former girlfriends since we broke up. The relationships are over; there's no need to look back."

"I know," Olivia said desperately, "I know that's how I should feel and how I should act. But it's different with Sirius and I. We're friends with all the same people, so we have to see one another all the time because of them. Aside from that, we work together, so we're together most days for professional reasons. For us, it's easier if we stay on civil terms. But we're not together on any romantic level. We're just friends. Can you understand?"

Greg shook his head. "Understand? No, I don't understand it. But I can accept it as your decision and your relationship."

"Really? Just like that?"

He shrugged. "I trust you. If you say that you're just friends, then I believe you."

A smile lit her face. "You are the most wonderful man I've ever met."

He smiled, and blushed. "Just because I trust you?"

Olivia didn't respond with words. Throwing caution to the wind, she leaned across the small table and kissed him. Their first kiss was a long time in coming, in her opinion, and this seemed like the perfect moment for it. When she pulled back, she looked at him uncertainly.

"Was that okay?" she whispered.

In response, Greg leaned across the table to kiss her again. She smiled against his lips.

"I'll take that as a yes."

He pulled back, and grinned at her. "Clever way to get me to try your coffee," he said mischievously. "And you're right about that – the mint is a good touch."

"What just happened had nothing to do with coffee," she said with a grin.

"I know," he replied, kissing her again.

* * *

Light cloak already wrapped around her shoulders, Lily walked to the study, where James was marking essays. She knocked on the door, then stepped into the room. James looked up with a smile.

"Where are you off to?" he asked, taking note of her attire.

"Your mother's," Lily replied. "Would you like to come?"

"My mother's?" James replied with a slight frown. "What are you going to do there?"

"Tomorrow night is Sirius's party," Lily said. "I'm going to learn to make that chocolate cake of your mother's that he raves about. I want to take it over for him tomorrow."

James raised his eyebrows. "Oh?"

Lily laughed. "Don't be jealous, now. If you tell me your favorite dessert that your mother makes, I'll learn to make that one, too."

James grinned. "How about some chocolate mousse?"

Lily grinned, and nodded. "Chocolate mousse it is. Do you want to come along?"

"I do," James replied, "but I have about fifteen essays left to mark, and I want to give them back tomorrow."

"All right, then. I'll be back soon." She leaned down to kiss him. "Go easy on the essays."

"I will," he laughed. "You be careful."

"I will," she promised.

He touched her stomach. "Take care of Mummy, little one."

She grinned. "Don't go getting all mushy on me, Potter."

"I'd never dream of it."

She laughed. "See you later."

"See you."

Lily Disapparated, leaving James alone with his essays. When she opened her eyes again, she was in the immense foyer of the Potter mansion.

"Lily!" Mrs. Potter exclaimed, hurrying forward to greet her. "You're right on time! Are you ready for this lesson?"

"We actually need to add to it," Lily smiled as she shrugged off her cloak. "I told James what I was planning to do this afternoon, and he got a little upset that I wasn't learning to make his favorite dessert, so I promised to learn to make –"

"Chocolate mousse," Mrs. Potter finished for her as she took her daughter-in-law's cloak and handed it to Hetty. "You know, that was his first solid food. After his first bite, he never looked back. All right, we'll do both of them. How are you with cooking spells?"

"Pretty good."

Mrs. Potter smiled. "Darling, but the time I'm done with you, you'll be a master."

* * *

Several hours later, Lily was able to produce cakes and mousses that rivaled the ones her mother-in-law could make. Mrs. Potter beamed with pride as she sampled Lily's chocolate mousse.

"James will love this," she smiled. "Here, take one of mine and one of yours home, and see if he can tell the difference!"

"All right," Lily agreed with a grin.

"I must say, it's nice to have someone to cook for again," Mrs. Potter said, a bit of sadness creeping into her eyes and voice.

Lily looked at her with compassion. "Is it getting any easier?" she asked carefully. She wasn't really sure how to phrase what she was trying to ask.

"To live without the one man I loved in my life?" she asked sadly, understanding Lily's question. "No. It's getting easier to go on, of course. Every day it's a little easier to get out of bed, to face a lonely breakfast. But I can't stop missing him. Harold's death broke my heart, Lily. No, it didn't break it. It shattered it. The only one that can make it whole again is him, and he's gone."

Lily's eyes were open wide. She had never seen this side of her mother-in-law before. She had never had anyone lay her heart out in front of her like this. Oh, she and her girlfriends had had their share of heartache and had shared discussions about the boys who had broken their hearts, but this was different. This was a woman whose life had been destroyed by the death of the love of her life. This was a woman who was trying to fight her way back, to rise up from her own ashes.

"Don't look like that," Mrs. Potter said gently, touching Lily's cheek. "I'm all right, darling, really. It's difficult, but I'm going on. I'm not going to give up, because if I do, then the Death Eaters have won. Voldemort has won. And they can't win – we can't let them. We have to find a way to fight back, a way to regain control of our world."

"I wish I knew how to do that," Lily confessed sadly. "I wish I knew how to make us all whole again."

"My darling, you are," Mrs. Potter said softly, yet with conviction. She touched Lily's expanded midsection. "Your baby is proof enough that we will win. The fact that she – a baby of a mixed background, a baby of two powerful wizards, of two _good_ wizards –will be born and will grow up in this world is proof enough that we will prevail. If we don't, what future is there for her? We must succeed – for her, and for all the others like her who are born every day. And somehow, the very fact that you are pregnant with her, the very fact that she _will_ be born, is enough of a sign to convince me that we will indeed succeed. We will defeat this evil, and we will create a better, safer world for your child."

Lily blinked rapidly. "I pray that she will have a safe world to grow up in. I pray that I'll be able to protect her from whatever evils cross her path. I love this little baby before I've even seen her. I would give my life for her."

"I know you would. That's exactly how I've felt about James since the day that the Healer told me that I was pregnant, all those years ago." She smiled, and kissed Lily's cheek. "Seeing you gives me hope. Holding your baby – my first grandchild – in just a few months will give me something I haven't had since Harold died."

"What's that?" Lily whispered, struggling to hold back her tears.

Mrs. Potter smiled sadly. "Joy."


	37. Admitting the Problem

A/N: And I'm home again! Yay! You can expect updates every other day (or maybe even every day!) for the next two weeks.

Thank you for reading and reviewing! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Admitting the Problem

_What do I gotta do to make you love me?  
What do I gotta do to make you care?  
What do I do when lightning strikes me,  
And I wake to find that you're not there?  
What do I do to make you want me?  
What do I gotta do to be heard?  
What do I say when it's all over?  
When sorry seems to be the hardest word?  
Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word, _Elton John

"Laura, are you ready?"

"Almost!" Laura called. She expertly applied a third coat of blush, hoping that the pink powder would hide the paleness of her cheeks.

She had never used so much makeup in her life. The fact that she needed to now concerned her, but she didn't want to say anything to Remus about it. She didn't want to admit that she didn't feel well. She couldn't let him go into his transformation with that hanging over his head.

Footsteps came down the hall, and the bedroom door pushed open. Laura glanced up from her vanity mirror to see her husband standing in the doorway.

"Are you all right?"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm going to _be_ sick if you don't stop asking me that."

"Laura, don't joke." Remus crossed the room to stand behind her, and touched her hair. "I'm worried about you. You haven't been yourself recently, and you look a little . . . not yourself."

Laura sighed. "Remus, Sirius's party starts in ten minutes. Do we have to do this now?"

"If we don't do it now, we won't for a few days."

Laura nodded, and looked out the window to see the nearly full moon rising. Tomorrow evening, Remus would be locked up in the basement with the Animagus forms of James, Sirius and Peter for company. As had become her tradition, Laura would stay with Lily. Neither woman liked to be alone on the nights of the full moon, and Laura liked even less to hear the horrid sounds and screams associated with her husband's transformations. She knew from experience that he would be too physically drained for any conversation the next day.

"I'll be fine for a couple days," she promised. "When you're back to normal, we can talk about my health all you want."

"Are you just saying that to appease me?" Remus asked with a smile. "You're not just being nice to me because I'm a werewolf on the verge of transformation, are you?"

"You'll never know, will you?" Laura grinned. She stood up and kissed his cheek. "Come on, let's go before we're late."

* * *

They managed to arrive at the party on time, despite Laura's concerns over being late. They actually Apparated into Sirius's living room at the same time as James and Lily. Sirius looked at the four of them with a grin.

"How did you do that? Did you plan it?"

The two couples looked at one another and laughed.

"Nope," James said with a smile. "It's what we call a coincidence."

"We're not _that_ good," Remus grinned.

"Shame," Sirius grinned. "Thanks for coming, everyone."

He shook Remus and James's hands, then kissed Laura's cheek. He was about to do the same to Lily when he stopped short.

"Lily," he said almost in a gasp, "is that what I think it is?"

"What do you think it is?" she asked with a teasing smile.

"Well, I _think_ it's Mrs. Potter's famous chocolate cake," he said slowly, his face lighting up. "How did you convince her to make it for me?"

"Well, you're sort of right," James grinned. "Lily made that."

"She did?" Sirius asked, lifting the cover from the cake dish. "It's exactly like your mum's!"

"Well, she taught me how," Lily replied with a grin. "I learned how to make it so that I could bring it tonight."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

Sirius took the cake dish from Lily, and set it carefully on the table. Then, he pulled her into a tight embrace. "You are the best sister ever, Little Flower!" he exclaimed.

"Sirius, put me down!" Lily laughed as her feet left the floor.

Sirius laughed, and released her. "Sorry. I didn't hurt the baby did, I?"

"No," Lily laughed. "I think he's more durable than that."

"Good," Sirius grinned. "He's going to have to be able to keep up with me soon."

"Soon as in two months from now?" James grinned.

"Is that all that you have left to go?" Dana asked as she joined them.

"That's all," Lily replied. "So, you guys have about three months left before James and I start asking for volunteers to babysit."

"I'm there," Dana replied with a grin. She took Aidan's hand. "Actually, it would probably be good practice for us."

Lily gasped. "Are you pregnant?"

"Not yet," Dana smiled. "But we're trying."

"That's fantastic!" Lily exclaimed, throwing her arms around Dana. "We can be mummies together! Our little girls will be the best of friends!"

"Whoa, now," Aidan laughed. "We're having a boy."

Dana rolled her eyes. "Right now we're not having anything, so let's not start that debate."

"Well, we don't know what we're having, either, so maybe our little _boys_ will be best friends," James grinned.

"Or we could have one of each," Dana pointed out. "Then they could go to the seventh year graduation ball together."

"Are we planning to marry them off already?" Aidan laughed. "Although I'm sure they'll make a wonderful couple."

"Of course they will!" Lily exclaimed. "Oh, Dana, this is so exciting! I can't wait!"

Laura looked at Remus, who took her hand and gave it a squeeze. Their own plans for a baby were still postponed, as Laura had not managed to regain her health. While they both had agreed that it was for the best to wait, it was difficult to hear their friends planning families when they, too, wanted so much to start one.

Laura looked around the room, wanting desperately to focus on something other than the glowing mothers-to-be. She realized that there was nothing else to focus on; the rest of the room was devoid of party guests.

"Where's everyone else?" she asked.

"Not here yet," Sirius shrugged. "Peter had some meeting this evening, and Rebecca was called in to work an early shift. I don't know what Olivia's story is – she's probably off shagging Greg or something."

Laura raised her eyebrows, and looked at Remus. Both he and James were looking at Sirius with unreadable expressions.

"I doubt it," James said lightly. "If Liv is anything like Lily, she's probably still trying to fix her hair."

"You love my hair," Lily said with a teasing smile as she kissed James's cheek.

"You know I do," he grinned, running his fingers through her long, straight tresses. "It just takes you awhile to get it the way you want it, that's all."

Lily wrinkled her nose. "It's not my fault that it's difficult. It has a mind of its own!"

"She's been saying that since we were eleven, James," Dana said easily. "Lily always took longer than the rest of us to fix her hair. She's just not apathetic like you – she cares about how it looks."

"Hey!" James laughed. "I care about my hair! I know that it looks ridiculous, but there's no hope for it."

"That much is true," Lily laughed. She reached up to run her fingers through her husband's hair. "But I like it this way," she added affectionately.

Sirius shook his head, and opened his mouth to make a smart comment, when a crack split the air. They all turned to see who the newcomer was.

"I'm sorry I'm late," Rebecca smiled as she pushed a strand of curly hair back from her face distractedly. "I didn't think I'd have to work today, but I don't get the chance for overtime very often, so when I do, I take it."

"Don't worry about it," Sirius said, stepping closer to kiss her in greeting. "We're still waiting on a few people anyway."

"Good," she smiled as she pulled back. "It's wonderful to see you all again."

"You, too," Dana said, glancing at Lily and Laura with raised eyebrows.

They girls all exchanged a look, then turned back to Rebecca. She had certainly dressed for the evening, wearing tasteful-yet-revealing black dress robes. Her hair was pulled up into an intricate knot with a few curls falling freely around her face. She looked, in a word, stunning.

"Competing, much?" Dana asked in a low voice.

"This is going to be a long night," Lily murmured.

"Is she really that afraid of Olivia?" Laura whispered.

Lily shook her head. "I don't know."

"She must be," Dana said. "Come on, ladies, when was the last time you saw her so dressed up? And since when do any of us wear _dress robes_ to parties at each other's houses? Sirius must have told her that Olivia's coming, and she must have decided to be prepared for battle."

A crack split the air, ending the conversation. Peter appeared, looking rather tired.

"Hey, Wormtail," Sirius said, stepping forward to greet him. "How was the meeting?"

Peter's eyes widened briefly, then he visibly relaxed. "Oh, you know – the usual," he said. "New rules, new ways of doing things. Every time we get a new manager, he or she feels the need to change everything."

"I hear you," Laura said with a grin. "Sirius, are you sure you don't want Barty Crouch back in charge of Aurors?"

"Are you kidding?" Sirius laughed. "We're far better off with Moody in charge. Granted, the man can be insane, but he's a great Auror and an excellent leader."

"He's not here, Sirius," James laughed. "You don't need to kiss his arse right now."

"Let's watch our language," Lily teased. "The baby is listening, James."

James rolled his eyes. "She's been like that ever since the Healers told her that the baby can hear what's going on around her."

"No kidding?" Sirius asked with interest. "So little Sirius Junior can hear what we're saying?"

"And he's about to hear me say that there's no way in hell I'm naming him after you," James laughed. "And, Lil, before you say anything, the use of language was merited in that case."

Sirius crossed to Lily, and put his hands protectively on her stomach. "Don't listen to your dad, kid. You and I are going to get along great. I can't wait to start teaching you stuff."

"Please tell me this 'stuff' you're planning on teaching my child won't involve anything that could potentially get her expelled from Hogwarts," Lily laughed.

"No, he won't be expelled," Sirius grinned. "I'll teach him so well that he'll know enough not to get caught."

Lily rolled her eyes as two new pops sounded. Everyone looked up as Olivia and Greg appeared in the living room.

"Sorry we're late," Olivia said quickly. "It's completely my fault. I got caught up at work."

"Nothing serious?" Sirius asked with a frown.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "No. One of the second year Aurors decided to pull rank and gave me the project of completely reorganizing the files in his office."

"Ugh," Sirius groaned. "Well, at least it's over and you're here now." As he had done with the other girls, he leaned down to kiss her cheek.

Both Sirius and Olivia held their breath during the exchange, willing their hearts not to beat too loudly. Olivia fought not to close her eyes as Sirius's lips touched her skin. It had been so long since he had kissed her . . . For a moment, she found herself wanting to turn her head so that his lips would be on hers.

Then, in a flash, it was over, and Sirius had pulled away. He looked at Olivia with his Auror eyes that revealed no emotion. Then he turned from her to Greg, a jovial smile firmly in place.

"You must be Greg," he said, extending a hand to shake his. "I'm Sirius Black. I'm sure Olivia will want to introduce you to everyone, so, to help you get over that torture, would you like a drink?"

Greg laughed. "It's great to meet you, Sirius. Thanks for the invitation this evening."

"I'm glad you could come," Sirius replied. He turned at a touch on his arm, and realized that Rebecca had appeared beside him as suddenly as if she had Apparated. "Olivia, I'm sure you remember Rebecca."

"Of course," Olivia said, giving her a sweet smile. "It's lovely to see you, Rebecca. How are you?"

"Fine, thank you," Rebecca said with a smile of her own.

"Greg, this is my girlfriend, Rebecca," Sirius said with a smile.

As Rebecca and Greg greeted one another, Dana turned to Laura and Lily with raised eyebrows.

"What did I tell you?" she whispered.

Lily and Laura both giggled.

"Well, that's round one over, at any rate," Laura said softly. "Did you see the look on Olivia's face when Sirius kissed her cheek?"

"Yes," Lily murmured. "And I'm not sure what to make of it."

"What are you ladies whispering about?" Remus asked as he came over.

Lily, Laura and Dana shook their heads, all laughing again. Remus smiled knowingly.

"You can't expect her to go down without a fight," he said easily.

"Remus!" Laura exclaimed. "How did you know what we're talking about?"

"It's rather obvious," he said with a smile. "And, for the record, I think she's being paranoid. I've never known Sirius to stay with someone he doesn't want to be with, so if he's still with her, he will be for awhile."

"Yeah, but if your ex-girlfriend who you were still friends with was coming to your party, I think I'd be a little concerned, too," Laura said.

Remus smiled, and kissed her cheek. "There's no one but you, darling. There never has been, and there never will be."

Laura smiled and flushed. "I'm just saying that I can understand her motivations."

"Hey, guys!" Olivia exclaimed as she approached them. "I want you all to meet Greg." She gave him a glowing smile as she pulled him closer to her friends. "This is Remus, Laura, Dana and Lily," she said. "Remus and Laura are married. Lily is married to James, and Dana is married to Aidan."

"So you're one of the few holdouts who isn't married, Olivia?" Greg grinned. He shook all their hands in greeting. "Laura I know, of course," he smiled. "You were one of the brightest Ravenclaws in your year. What are you doing now?"

"I'm a junior prosecutor in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement," she said.

Greg raised his eyebrows, clearly impressed. "That's fantastic," he said. "Not that I'm surprised, of course – you always were brilliant."

Laura flushed. "I think it's my argumentative skills that keep me there."

"That probably has a lot to do with it," Remus grinned, soliciting laughter from his friends. "When Laura is passionate about something, heaven help the person who stands in her way."

Laura grinned. "He's just upset because I made him cook dinner last night."

"A man who can cook," Greg grinned. "That might be even more impressive than Laura's legal ability."

Remus laughed. "Well, we all have our own special talents."

Lily grabbed Olivia's arm. "Can you all excuse us for a moment? I just need to talk to Olivia about something."

Without waiting for a reply, she pulled her friend away from the group. Olivia glanced back once as Lily pulled her into the kitchen. Greg seemed to be doing well on his own; he should be fine in her absence.

"What's up, Lils?" Olivia asked as the kitchen door closed behind them.

"You tell me," Lily said instantly. "What was up with that kiss that Sirius gave you?"

"He kissed my cheek," Olivia said. "He always kisses your cheek when he sees you."

"Liv, I saw the look on your face," Lily insisted.

"We're friends, Lily," Olivia said stubbornly. "He's with Rebecca now, and I'm with Greg. End of story."

"But, Liv –"

"No," Olivia said, cutting her off. "It's over between us. That's all there is to it."

"All right," Lily said dubiously. It was clear that Olivia wasn't willing to discuss this further; it would be useless to try to push the issue.

"Can we get back to the party now?"

"Sure."

"Good." Olivia started to walk out, then stopped and turned back to face Lily. "I appreciate your concern, Lils. I mean, you know better than anyone how hard it was for me to break up with Sirius and to move on. But I have moved on now. Can't you please just be happy for me?"

"As long as you're happy, Liv, I'm happy for you," Lily said firmly.

"I am happy," Olivia said empathetically.

"Good," Lily smiled. "Then I'm happy for you."

They left the kitchen to rejoin the party, where Sirius was picking up a cake knife. His face lit up when he saw Lily.

"Little Flower, come over here and help me cut this cake!" he exclaimed.

Lily laughed. "I hope it's as good as you think it is."

"If James's mum taught you how to make it, it will be. We'll all have a piece of cake and a glass of punch to toast the chef!" he grinned. "Well, you'll have juice or something. That punch has quite a bit of alcohol in it," he added as an afterthought.

Lily grinned. "What, no punch for me? Just because of the baby?"

"No, the baby has nothing to do with it," Sirius said in mock seriousness. "I'm just afraid that you're becoming an alcoholic."

"Leave her alone and cut the cake, already!" Aidan laughed.

"Right," Sirius laughed. "All right, Lils, let's go." He glanced up from the cake. "And, Aidan, if you're so eager to get to this, start serving some punch."

"I'm on it," Aidan grinned, going over to ladle punch into glasses.

Sirius and Lily began cutting the cake, putting pieces on plates for each person at the party. While they were at work, Rebecca appeared beside them.

"Can I do something to help?" she asked.

"I think we've got it under control," Lily smiled.

"Are you sure?"

"It doesn't take more than two to cut a cake, Rebecca," Sirius said calmly. "Why don't you see if Aidan needs help with the punch if you're bored?"

An odd look crossed her face, and she moved away from them. Lily looked up at Sirius.

"She just wanted to help, Sirius."

"No," he said darkly. "Have you seen the way she's followed me around like a puppy dog ever since Liv got here? It's ridiculous. You know how I feel about jealousy."

Remembering Sirius's first girlfriend at Hogwarts, Lily nodded. Bree's jealousy of Lily's friendship with Sirius had cost her their relationship.

"It's not going to be like it was with Bree, is it?" she asked softly.

"Bree," Sirius sighed. "You know, I haven't even thought of her in years, but tonight that whole episode came back to me."

"Well, as long as Rebecca doesn't accuse you of cheating on her with me, I think we're good." She shook her head. "I couldn't believe that Bree thought that you and I . . . Well, the very idea is just . . ." She trailed off awkwardly, not sure how to finish her statement in a way that wouldn't damage Sirius's ego.

Sirius ran his eyes up and down Lily's seven-months pregnant body, finally letting them rest on her wedding ring. He grinned. "Lily, you have always belonged to James. Even before there was 'Lily and James,' you were his. You have always been a wonderful friend to me – the sister I never had – but I've never thought of you as anything but that."

"Good," Lily grinned, leaning up to kiss his cheek. "Because I've always thought of you as the brother I never had – the one who would have defended me from Petunia."

"I can still do that, you know. Just let me know when," he grinned. "As I recall, she could have done with a brother who would have beaten her up over the years."

Lily laughed, and shook her head. "This is why I love you, Sirius."

He nudged her with his shoulder. "I love you, too, Little Flower."

Feeling someone watching him, Sirius looked up expecting to see Rebecca staring at him with narrowed eyes, angry that he was spending so much time alone with Lily. However, she was, as he had suggested, helping Aidan distribute punch. They were talking like old friends, for which Sirius was grateful. It was Olivia who was staring at him. He looked at her, and their eyes locked. For a second that stretched into eternity, they stared into each other's eyes, as they had done during their days as a couple.

Then, the spell was broken. Olivia remembered herself and looked away, a flush spreading across her cheeks. Sirius felt his own cheeks heat, wondering if her thoughts had taken path his had– of memories of days spent catching one another staring in class, of nights spent together staring into one another's eyes just as they had been only moments before. He exhaled deeply, and ran his hand through his hair.

"Are you all right?" Lily asked.

"Fine," he said, his voice rather tight. "Let's serve this cake, shall we?"

Across the room, Greg put his hand on Olivia's knee. "Are you all right?"

"Of course," she said, turning to him with a smile. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You looked a little funny there for a minute," he said.

"Do I still?"

"No," he smiled. "Now you look gorgeous."

She grinned, and kissed his cheek. "You're sweet."

"So are you," he said. He glanced over at Sirius, then at Rebecca. "Is it awkward for you to be here?"

"Are you trying to ask me to leave this party be alone with you?" she asked with a teasing smile.

"Well, I wasn't, but that does sound like a good idea," he said, letting his hand drift further up her thigh. "What do you say?"

"I say we just got here," she grinned. "We can't leave now. It would be rude."

"All right," he said, heaving a mock sigh.

"Aren't you having fun?" she asked.

"I am, actually. Your friends are great."

"I think so, too," she smiled. "And I think they all like you."

"Good," he said. "If they're important to you, they're important to me, too."

At the punch bowl, Rebecca let her eyes drift to Sirius and Lily again. Aidan noticed her glance with a smile.

"He's not interested in her, you know."

Rebecca jerked her eyes away from her boyfriend to the man who was standing next to her. "I beg your pardon?"

"You don't need to worry about Lily – Sirius isn't interested in her. He had his chance to go after her at Hogwarts, but he never did. Every girl would have dated him back then – most probably still would. But, for some reason, he never went after Lily. They've been friends since they were about fourteen – but they've always just been friends. And now she's married and pregnant - and I've never seen two people as in love as she and James are." He shrugged. "If you're looking for something to worry about, it shouldn't be that Sirius will cheat on you with Lily."

"Who should I be worried about him cheating on me with, then?" She said the words in a light, teasing tone, but there was a hint of desperation in her question.

Aidan smiled in an attempt to reassure her. "If I were you, I wouldn't worry at all. Sirius really seems to like you. Feel secure in your relationship – I'm sure he does."

Rebecca smiled, but couldn't help looking for Olivia again. She was relieved to see that she was still sitting with Greg. Despite Aidan's calm assurances, she was still more than a little concerned about Sirius's feelings for his former girlfriend.

* * *

It was late when the party finally broke up. Everyone had had fun, making them more reluctant to leave. Sirius was happy to have them stay, and offered overnight accommodations to anyone who didn't want to travel home.

Everyone did leave, however, until only Rebecca remained with him in his flat. She gave him a smile as she began to gather up dishes.

"Well, that was lovely," she said. "You should host parties more often. You're very good at it."

Sirius frowned at her. "You know, you didn't have to be my shadow all night."

She looked up at him in surprise. "What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," he said, his anger boiling close to the surface. "You've been following me around like a lost puppy ever since you got here. You barely let me go to the loo without you!"

She looked stricken, but didn't speak up to defend herself. Sirius laughed harshly.

"This jealousy routine has to stop," he said. "Nearly every woman here tonight was married! And I know that I spent a lot of time with Lily, but she is one of my best friends – and is married to the person I consider my brother!"

"I'm not worried about Lily," Rebecca said softly. "I know you couldn't want anything to do with her romantically."

"But?" Sirius prompted. Her calm demeanor was making him insane. If she didn't start screaming soon, he would.

"Olivia was here," Rebecca said simply.

"How many times will we have to go over this?" Sirius yelled, finally losing control of his temper. "You _know_ that I'm not with her anymore! You _know_ that I want to be with you!"

Rebecca drew a deep breath. "Then why were you staring at _her_ all night, not me?"

Sirius slammed his hand down on the table, knocking over several glasses. "My God, Rebecca! If I didn't want to be with you, why would I be here fighting with you right now? Why wouldn't I be chasing Olivia and Greg down, beating Greg up for dating her?"

"I – I don't know," she stammered, her eyes wide.

Realizing that he was scaring her, Sirius took a deep breath. Yelling at her wasn't getting them anywhere. Maybe she just needed proof that he really cared about her, not Olivia. He ran his hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry," he said, struggling to keep his voice even. "I'm sorry if you think that I didn't pay enough attention to you tonight. I'm sorry if you don't approve of my friendship with Olivia, but there's nothing I can do about that. We work together. We have no choice but to get along, and to continue with our friendship. But I don't want you to think that she's the one I want to be with, so I'll try to prove to you how much you mean to me."

"How?"

He smiled, and crossed to draw her close. He kissed her lips softly and lovingly. "Like this," he whispered, his lips moving to her neck.

She moaned softly as his lips moved lower, across the skin that her robes left exposed. She was amazed that he could do this to her – make her forget all their problems with a simple kiss. She ran her fingers through his hair, and then over his chest. Then she began to kiss him, and it was his turn to groan.

"Please, Liv," he whispered.

She jerked away from him as if he had hexed her. She looked at him with eyes full of hurt, confusion and anger.

"What did you just call me?"

Red heat spread across Sirius's cheeks as he realized what he had said. There was no denying it. He had called her by Olivia's name.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. He ran his hands over his face and through his hair. "My God, Rebecca, I didn't mean that. I never meant –"

"It happened," she said softly. "And that's enough."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

She looked at him with tear-filled eyes. "I love you, Sirius, but I guess that's my misfortune. You obviously still love Olivia. I can't be her, and I can't take her place in your heart. But, neither can I spend the rest of my life living in her shadow."

"Rebecca," Sirius began.

She shook her head. "It's over, Sirius. I hope you find a way to get her back."

"Rebecca, wait," he begged. "Don't just end it all like this."

"This is the way it has to be," she said softly. "Thank you for the past few months. It's been fun." She stood up on tiptoes to kiss his cheek. When she pulled away, several tears had left tracks down her cheeks. "Goodbye, Sirius."

Without waiting for a reply, she Disapparated. Sirius was left silently staring at the space where she had been standing, trying to sort out his jumbled feelings.

* * *

It was late when Remus and Laura finally got home. Without discussion, they climbed the stairs to get ready for bed. They both knew they were too tired to stay up any longer.

"Sirius put together a lovely party," Laura said as she came into the bedroom from the bathroom, where she had been brushing her teeth.

"It was nice," Remus agreed, "but I'm not sure it was advisable to have his former and current girlfriends in the same room."

Laura sighed. "Olivia isn't over him."

"He isn't over her, either," Remus acknowledged. "Do you think that Greg and Rebecca are strong enough to withstand the competition?"

Laura shrugged. "They'll have to be, won't they?"

Remus nodded in agreement, and they lapsed into silence. He watched Laura as she moved, trying to remember when had been the last time he had seen her move so slowly. True, he was tired himself, but he had the full moon to blame for his physical condition. Laura, on the other hand, had always been rather energetic. Shaking his head, he went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Something wasn't right about her, and it had him very worried.

When he came back into the bedroom, Laura was already in bed with the covers pulled up under her chin, her blond hair spilling all around her. Remus smiled at the sight of her, thinking that she looked like a little girl. There were times, like now, when he had trouble remembering that they were adults, not the children they had been together at Hogwarts.

He climbed into bed, and reached for her. She smiled, and immediately moved closer, snuggling up against him. He held her close, and kissed her head.

"Sweetheart, I want you to answer a question for me," he said softly. "I just want an honest answer, all right?"

"All right," she agreed sleepily.

"How do you feel?"

"Tired."

"I know that," he said softly. "But beyond tired, how do you feel?"

She sighed, and looked up at him. She had been fighting it for so long. She couldn't fight anymore. "I think I'm sick, Remus," she said softly. Tears gathered in her eyes. "I haven't felt well ever since that night – ever since that battle."

Remus pulled her closer. "Why didn't you tell me, love? I've asked you so many times."

"I didn't want to worry you," she said, a single tear falling. "And I didn't want you to make me go to a Healer. I'm scared. I don't want to know what's wrong."

"We have to find out what's wrong," he said softly, looking away from her. "I want you to do something for me."

"What?"

"I want you to go to your doctor tomorrow."

Laura frowned. "My doctor?"

"Yes, your doctor." He turned so that he could look into her eyes again. "I want you to go see the family doctor who always treated you when you were a little girl."

"You don't want me to go to a Healer?"

He smiled. "I want you to feel comfortable. If a doctor will do that for you, then so be it. I just want you to feel better, love, whatever it takes."

She looked up at him in surprise. She had never realized how much easier it would be for her to go to her family doctor than to an unknown Healer. But Remus had known. Without her even knowing it herself, he had sensed what would be best for her. Tears threatened to fall again. He was right. She wanted to be better as much as he wanted her to be better.

"All right."

"You'll go?" He had not expected it to be so easy to get her to agree.

"I'll go."

"Tomorrow?"

"If they can get me in."

Remus nodded. "If it's early enough in the day, I'll go with you."

She smiled. "Thanks."

He hugged her even closer. "Thank _you_ for finally agreeing to do this."

"You know, when he says that there's nothing wrong with me, you're getting an 'I told you so,'" she teased, praying that that would be the outcome at the doctor's office.

Remus smiled. "Laura, I sincerely hope that's what happens."

"Me too," she whispered, turning serious. "I'm scared, Remus. What if something really is wrong with me?"

"I'm sure you're fine," he said confidently. "But if you're not, then we'll deal with it together. We can beat anything, Laura, including this mysterious illness, if indeed you have one. I'll be right there helping you as much as I can."

"I know you will." She leaned up to kiss him. "I love you, Remus."

"I love you, too." He pulled her even closer, and kissed her again.

Despite his bold words, he truly was terrified that something was seriously wrong with her. He knew that they would fight for her life with everything in them. He only hoped that it would be enough.


	38. Searching for Answers

A/N: This chapter is completely Remus/Laura-centric. It's going to give you some answers, but you'll get even more in the next chapter. Thanks for reading and reviewing, and I hope you enjoy it!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Searching for Answers

_But on the other hand, she's slowing down  
__She's lost a little of that magic drive  
__- She is a Diamond_, Jonathan Price, _Evita_

Remus was awake before Laura the next morning. He looked at her sleeping form, noting the dark circles that still colored the skin under her eyes. Even though she was not yet awake, she looked exhausted. He lifted himself out of bed carefully, trying not to disturb her. She clearly needed to sleep.

The fact that she was going to see a doctor did little to reassure him. He had spent a lifetime receiving any medical advice he needed from his father or his father's colleagues. Even if the doctor could help Laura, Remus knew that he wouldn't feel better until he had talked to his father. After showering, he went to the study, and threw a handful of Floo powder into the fireplace.

"Thomas Lupin!" he yelled.

Within seconds, his parents' kitchen came into view. His mother was working at the counter, and jumped as the green flames appeared in her hearth.

"Remus!" she exclaimed, running to greet him. "How are you? Is everything all right?"

"Hi, Mum," he smiled. "Is Dad around? I wanted to talk to him about Laura."

"Laura? She's all right, isn't she?"

"Well, I'm not sure," Remus admitted. "That's sort of why I wanted to talk to Dad."

His mother nodded. "I'll go get him."

Remus only had to wait a few moments until both of his parents were kneeling before the grate, their faces only inches from his.

"Remus," his father said in greeting, "your mother tells me Laura's ill?"

"Yeah, she is," Remus said. "She fainted after the battle when James's dad died, and she hasn't been the same since."

"She fainted?" Mr. Lupin paused. "Could she be pregnant?"

"I already did a pregnancy-detecting charm," Remus said, slightly embarrassed about admitting the possibility of Laura being pregnant to his parents. "She's not."

Mr. Lupin nodded, while Mrs. Lupin looked rather disappointed. Remus smiled sadly, knowing how much his mother wanted grandchildren.

"Has she been to see a Healer?" Mr. Lupin asked.

"No," Remus replied. "I actually couldn't even get her to admit that she wasn't feeling well until last night. I got her to agree to go to her doctor."

"A Muggle doctor?" Mrs. Lupin asked.

"Yes. I thought she'd feel more comfortable with the doctor she's always gone to than with some Healer she's never met."

"That's probably true," Mr. Lupin said thoughtfully. "And most Muggle doctors are quite good at their trade."

"But what if it's a magical problem?" Mrs. Lupin asked.

"I don't think it's related to magic," Remus said.

"And if the Muggles can't identify it, they won't treat her," Mr. Lupin said. "Remember, my mother was a Muggle. She always went to Muggle doctors, and she was quite old when she died."

"So you think it'll be all right?"

"Certainly. If you want me to look her over after she sees her doctor, I'd be happy to."

"Really?"

"Of course."

Remus smiled. "Thanks, Dad."

"You're welcome," Mr. Lupin smiled. "You'll tell us what the doctor says, won't you?"

"Yes, of course."

"Does she have an appointment yet?"

"No. I'm going to make her call them as soon as she gets up."

Mr. Lupin nodded. "Don't let her put it off any longer," he cautioned. "She can't play with her health like this."

"I know," Remus sighed. "I just wish she had done this sooner."

"You can't change the past, Remus," Mrs. Lupin said. "It's too late to undo what's happened. Just focus on the present and the future, and on helping Laura get better."

Remus nodded. "I'd do anything for her."

"We know," his mother said with a smile. "You love her."

"Yes," Remus said quietly, "I love her."

"You're doing the right thing for her, Remus," Mr. Lupin said. "You're a good husband, and you're doing all you can for her. Don't doubt yourself."

Remus nodded. "I won't."

"Worry about Laura," Mrs. Lupin added. "She's your main concern."

"We'll be here for you, Remus," Mr. Lupin said. "We'll support both of you in any way we can."

"Thanks."

Mrs. Lupin smiled. "We love you, Remus."

"I love you, too," he smiled. "Both of you."

* * *

Feeling reassured after the conversation with his parents, Remus was considerably calmer by the time Laura woke up. She came downstairs in her pajamas, her hair pulled back into a ponytail.

"Good morning," she said sleepily as she entered the kitchen.

Remus grinned at her. "Are you actually awake enough to say that yet?"

She smiled. "I'm not sure. What time is it?"

"A little after nine," Remus replied.

She shook her head. "I can't believe I slept so long."

"It's not that late," Remus said. "You'd only just be getting to work if you were going in today. And we were up late for Sirius's party last night."

"I know," Laura replied. "But I wanted to get up early to call the doctor."

"Well, call now," Remus said rationally.

She nodded. "Just keep my coffee warm, all right?"

Remus shook his head. "You know, this coffee habit is bordering on addiction."

She grinned. "Blame my coworkers. I never drank so much coffee before I started working in Magical Law."

Remus laughed as Laura crossed the kitchen and picked up the phone book. She searched through it for a moment, then picked up the telephone to dial her doctor's number.

Remus listened as she described her symptoms to the person on the other end, feeling slightly dejected. He had never realized how ill she was, or how awful she felt. If he had known . . . Maybe his mother was right. He couldn't change the past; he could only worry about the future. "If only" wouldn't do anything to help them. Now was the time for action.

"All right," Laura said at last. "Yes, I'll see you then. Thank you."

"What did they say?" Remus asked as she hung up the phone.

"I have an appointment at eleven," she said. "So I'd better go shower. I can eat once I'm dressed."

"They got you in early," Remus said with a smile. "And it was really easy to get a hold of them, wasn't it?"

"The magic of telephones," Laura called from the stairs that she had started to climb. "Aren't you glad I made you install one?"

Remus laughed as the sound of the bathroom door closing ended any further conversation. She had, as she had stated, been the one to insist that they install a telephone. While Remus refused to see the usefulness in it, Laura used it almost daily to talk to her parents and siblings. She loved to find any reason to convince him of the device's usefulness.

Remus smiled, finally fully calm. He had talked to his father, she had made the appointment, and she was well enough to tease him. For the time being, he couldn't ask for more.

* * *

Once Laura had showered, she felt much more prepared to face the doctor, and to discover what had happened to make her so ill. She went back downstairs, dressed in her Muggle clothes, to find Remus still sitting in the kitchen, calmly sipping tea and reading the Daily Prophet.

"You'd better not have done anything to my coffee," she warned.

He rolled his eyes. "Since when do I drink your coffee? You make it so strong that I think the French would have a problem with it!"

Laura laughed, and poured herself a cup of the black liquid. "Does Lily have a story in today's edition?"

"Yeah, she does," Remus replied. "It's the beginning of her investigation into the torture of Muggle children."

Laura shuddered. "Those poor kids. Remus, you should have seen those two that Sirius and Olivia saved. Their little bodies were so bruised, and their eyes were just haunted. Thank God Sirius and Liv did those memory charms on them. I don't even want to think about the internal scars they'd have if they tried to deal with this on their own."

"You helped, too, you know."

She smiled. "Well, we haven't taken those Death Eaters to trial yet. But when we do, I'll be sure that they don't get off."

"Do you have a trial date set?"

"Not yet, but it should be soon," she said, buttering herself a piece of toast. "Crouch is furious that we've waited this long. He's talking about some policy that would put suspected Death Eaters in Azkaban without a trial."

Remus stopped with his cup inches away from his face. "What? How can he do that? It's not legal!"

"That's why it hasn't happened yet," Laura said. "But he's trying to find a way to do it. He will, too, I'm sure. That man in truly unmatched in Law Enforcement. No one can stand up to him, and no one will even try to get in his way or to tell him he's wrong." She shook her head. "The amount of power he's amassed is frightening."

"He's a powerful wizard in his own right," Remus said.

"Oh, yes," Laura replied. "He's powerfully magical. But that doesn't give him the right to throw people to the dementors without fair trials."

Remus smiled. "You should stand up to him."

"Me?" Laura laughed. "No, I couldn't. He'd have my job in a heartbeat – and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't hesitate to throw me to the dementors, either."

Remus shook his head, and glanced at his watch. "How are we getting to the doctor's office?"

"We're driving," Laura said instantly. "We hardly ever get to use our car, and this is the perfect opportunity."

Remus grinned. "All right, then. But we need to leave soon."

Laura looked at her own watch, and smiled. "We have plenty of time."

"We only have fifteen minutes!"

"And I have a lead foot."

* * *

Laura was right about her driving ability – Remus was sure he'd never been in a car that moved so fast. At precisely eleven o'clock, they walked into the doctor's office – for Remus, it was like walking into another world.

"How's that for timing?" Laura asked.

"Very impressive," Remus said vaguely.

He was busy looking around curiously. Laura smiled, knowing that the Healer in him was dying to try out all the different instruments used by Muggle doctors.

"Find us seats," she said softly, looking around the crowded waiting room. "I need to go sign in."

"All right," Remus agreed.

By the time she had signed in, Remus had picked up a magazine. She smiled, and sat down next to him, putting her hand on his knee.

"What did they say?" he asked.

"That they'll call me when they're ready," she said. She smiled. "I take it you never went to the doctor as a little kid?"

"My dad always treated me," he said.

Laura nodded. "Where will our children go?"

Remus grinned. "Wherever you want them to go, love."

Laura smiled. "Well, if I have anything to say about it, they'll never get sick."

"Good luck with that," Remus laughed.

"Laura Lupin?"

"Well, that was fast," Laura said, standing up as the nurse called her name. "Do you want to come back with me?" she asked Remus.

He nodded. "If that's all right with you."

"Please," she said softly. "I want you to."

They crossed the waiting room to join the nurse, who took them back to one of the examination rooms. After she did preliminary work on Laura, she gave her a gown.

"You'll just need to put this on. The doctor should be in momentarily."

"Yeah, right," Laura said quietly as the door shut behind the nurse.

"What?"

She pulled off her clothes, and put the gown on. "The doctor is _never_ in 'momentarily.' They always take forever to get to you."

Remus grinned. "I don't know how the Muggles do it."

"I managed," Laura said stubbornly. "And so did your grandmother, if it comes down to it."

"I know, I know," Remus laughed. "And believe me, my grandma spent her life trying to convince me that the Muggle way of doing things was better, too." He began looking around at the medical instruments. "What do all these do?"

"Make people better," Laura said as she hoisted herself up onto the examining table. "I'm not a doctor, Remus; I don't know what they're for."

"But you must have some idea."

She sighed, resigning herself to the fact that she was going to have to give her husband a tour of the small office. "That's used to look into your nose and ears."

"This?"

"For God's sake, Remus, don't touch it! If you break that, Dr. Greene will kill us both!"

Remus laughed, and pulled his hand away from the tempting instruments. "Sorry."

Laura shook her head. "You're worse than a little boy!"

"Well, it's usually Sirius that gets that from Lily, but I suppose I'll have to take the title for today."

"Indeed," Laura replied, rolling her eyes.

Remus looked around contritely for a moment, then realized that he couldn't take it anymore. "What do these do?"

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, the door opened, and Dr. Greene, a man in his late fifties, walked in. He smiled at Laura as he picked up her chart.

"Well, Miss Laura, I haven't seen you in here in ages! How are you?"

"I've been better," she said honestly. "Dr. Greene, this is my husband, Remus Lupin."

"Husband?" the doctor smiled. "Well, Remus, it's a pleasure to meet you." He gave him a wink. "I hope you're taking good care of Laura. She's a special girl."

"I'm trying to," Remus said, smiling at Laura. "I'm definitely lucky to have her."

The doctor sat down on his stool, and looked at Laura critically. "So, you're not feeling well?"

"No, I'm not," she said honestly. "My energy is gone, and I just don't feel well in general."

"And you've been like this for several months?" he asked, studying her chart.

"Yes," she admitted.

"All right," he said. "Let's see what we can find wrong with you so that we can fix it."

Laura felt herself beginning to relax. She had complete confidence in Dr. Greene.

She followed his instructions throughout the examination, opening her mouth, taking deep breaths, lying down and sitting up. He frowned as he listened to her chest.

"Something wrong?" Remus, who could see the doctor's reactions, asked.

"Well, Laura's heartbeat is a bit irregular," the doctor said. He listened longer, and his frown deepened. "As I recall, you've never had a history of that, have you?"

"No," she said.

He put down his stethoscope, and picked up her chart. "Your blood pressure is off, too. I've never known you to have high blood pressure," he said. "Let's take that again, shall we?"

"All right."

Laura gave Remus a wobbly smile as the doctor took her blood pressure. What was he looking for? What was wrong with her?

"Well, that's odd," Dr. Greene said. "This time your blood pressure is low."

"What does all this mean?" Remus asked.

The doctor sat down and looked at the young couple with concern in his eyes. "I think you may have a heart problem," he said softly.

Remus took Laura's hand in his as they both stared at the doctor. He nodded slowly.

"Without running any tests there isn't much I can tell you right now," he said. "But based on your symptoms as listed on your chart in addition to the erratic blood pressure and irregular heart beat, I'd say your condition is definitely heart-related."

"What does that mean?" Laura asked, trying desperately to stay calm.

"It means that you're going to need to see a specialist," the doctor said softly. "We can run some tests if you like, but I'm not the one who will be able to help you with this. You're going to need to see a cardiologist."

"How soon?" Remus asked.

The doctor looked at them both gravely. "The sooner the better."

* * *

Laura and Remus were both numb as they walked out of the office. Remus held Laura's hand in one of his, and literature the doctor had given them about heart conditions and specialists in the other. They were both completely silent as they walked to the car. Neither knew what to say.

"Are you sure you're all right to drive?" Remus broke the silence as Laura unlocked their doors.

She gave him a small smile. "I'll get us home safer than you would."

"True." Maybe he should have let his grandmother teach him to drive when he was a teenager. She certainly had offered enough.

She sighed. "And I'm in far better shape to drive than I am to Apparate," she added.

Remus nodded, and opened the passenger door. "All right. Let's go, then."

They remained silent during the short drive home. Laura parked the car, and they entered the house. She put her keys down on the counter, and went to get a glass of water.

"Laura?" Remus asked softly, putting the papers the doctor had given them on the table. "Are you all right, love?"

"I'm fine," Laura said loudly without turning from the sink. "I'm fine, Remus. Fine! My heart is about to fall apart, but I'm bloody _fine_!"

She ended her statement by screaming the word, and collapsed into sobs. Remus was across the kitchen in an instant, pulling her close. He held her as she sobbed, gently rocking her back and forth. After awhile, her sobs began to subside.

"Oh, God, Remus," she sighed, finally controlled enough to speak, "what are we going to do?"

"We're going to get you to see a specialist," Remus replied gently. He still held her close, running his hand over her long hair. "We're going to find one of these cardiologists, and we're going to get you better."

"But what if -?"

"Stop," Remus said softly, putting his finger over her lips. "Don't even think it. You're going to get better, Laura. That's the only option."

"I'm scared, Remus," she whispered, tears filling her eyes again.

"I know," he said, pulling her close. "I'm scared, too. But we can't let this beat us, Laura. We have to win. I can't lose you."

"I don't want to leave you, Remus."

She began to cry again, clinging to him as though afraid she would never have another chance. This time, Remus cried with her.

They spent the entire day together, reading over the literature that the doctor had given them. Each piece of paper painted a picture of hope and health. Remus prayed that these were true stories of survival, not fiction made up to reassure the newly diagnosed.

"Do you have a preference for one of these specialists?" he asked, picking up the list Dr. Greene had provided.

Laura glanced over at the sheet of paper. "I don't know. They're all just names to me. Did Dr. Greene recommend one above the others?"

"No, it doesn't look like it."

"Well, whoever can get me in first, I suppose."

Remus nodded, and they lapsed back into silence. They were both thinking the same thing: they weren't sure how much longer Laura would be able to wait before seeing the specialist. According to what Dr. Greene had told them, time was crucial.

Remus knew that he had to talk to his parents. They wanted to know what was wrong with Laura as much as he had. But he wasn't ready. He wanted to be strong for her, and he knew that telling them, admitting that he could lose his wife, would bring all the fears he didn't want to voice to the surface. He didn't want her to see that.

"I need to tell my mum about this," she said suddenly, almost as though she had read his thoughts.

"Do you want me to go over there with you?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I'm just going to call her. After we talk to the cardiologist, I'll go see her and my dad in person. But this isn't anything too horrible yet. I think she can handle it over the phone."

So saying, she went to the telephone and dialed her parents' number. After waiting a moment, she smiled.

"Hi, Mummy," she said. "Yes, it's Laura . . . Well, actually, that's why I called . . . Yes, I've been feeling a bit under the weather, so I went to see Dr. Greene . . . Yeah, he was pretty excited to see me . . . Well, he said that it looks like something's strange about my heart." She paused for a moment, and caught her lower lip between her teeth, trying to blink back tears. "We're not sure yet," she said, her voice a little wobbly. "He wants me to see a cardiologist . . . Yes, they have been making great progress in that field . . . A transplant? I don't know about that, Mum. I don't think I'm that bad off , and besides, that's really risky. They've only done one or two, right? . . . No, I haven't made the appointment yet. Remus and I are just reading through everything now . . . Yes, he's right here. Sure, you can talk to him."

Laura held out the receiver to Remus, who crossed the room to take it.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Remus," Mrs. Bond said in a shaky voice, "you've studied medicine, right?"

"Well, Healing Arts," he said, "but it's basically the same thing."

"Then you know what to do for my Laura, don't you?"

"Not exactly," he said awkwardly. "Her condition is pretty advanced studies. I never quite made it that far."

"But your father is a . . . not a doctor. What do you call them?"

"Healers," Remus said. "Yes, my father is a Healer."

"Isn't there some spell he can use to make Laura better?"

"I hope so," Remus said sincerely. "I'm going to talk to him later today."

"Yes, do," Mrs. Bond said. "I'm sure he'll be able to help her."

"I hope so," Remus said again. "Do you want to talk to her again?"

"Yes, please."

Remus handed the phone back over, giving Laura a small smile. She was now crying, and talking to her mother only made her cry harder. When the conversation finally ended, she fell into Remus's arms. She didn't let herself sob again; she clung to him until the tears finally stopped flowing.

"She wants more answers than I have," she said against his chest.

"I know," Remus replied, running his hands over her back.

She shook her head. "I need to go lie down," she said.

"I'm going to tell my parents while you're resting," Remus said.

Laura nodded. "I don't know if I can handle telling them right now."

"You don't have to," he replied. "I'll do it. I'm sure they'll want to talk to you later, though."

She nodded. "Later."

Remus kissed her. "I love you, Laura."

She smiled sadly. "I love you, too."

She left his arms, and went up the stairs to their bedroom. Remus watched her until she was out of sight, then went to the study to again throw Floo powder into the fireplace.

Both of his parents were sitting by the hearth as though they had been waiting for him. They were instantly on their knees in front of the fire, both with expressions of concern.

"How's Laura?" Mrs. Lupin asked.

To everyone's surprise, including his own, Remus burst into tears. Without so much as exchanging a glance, Mr. and Mrs. Lupin stepped into the fireplace to Floo to their son's side. They stepped out of his grate, and his mother immediately pulled him close. She pulled his head down onto her shoulder, as she had done when he had been a little boy.

Once his spasm of tears was spent, Remus pulled away from her. "I'm sorry," he said in a raspy voice. "I didn't mean to fall to pieces like that."

"It's all right," Mrs. Lupin said soothingly. "I take it you didn't get good news from the doctor?"

Remus shook his head. "He said something's wrong with her heart," he said shakily. "He wants her to see a specialist – a cardiologist."

"Oh, my," Mrs. Lupin said, her hands flying to her mouth, blinking rapidly to stop the tears from flooding her eyes. "She'll be all right, won't she?"

"We don't know yet," Remus said.

"Where is she?" Mr. Lupin asked.

"Sleeping right now. She just called her mum, and I think the conversation drained her."

Mr. Lupin nodded. "When she wakes up, I'd like to look her over – if she'll consent."

"Her mother asked me to have you examine her," Remus said. "She's hoping there's some spell that will heal her."

"So am I," Mr. Lupin said softly. "I'll do everything in my power to make her well, Remus."

"I know you will," Remus said with a sad smile. "I hope you can."

"Of course he can," Mrs. Lupin said confidently. "Your father can fix anyone. Think of all the times he's put you back together. You'll see. Laura will be fine again in no time."

* * *

But it was not to be. Mr. Lupin's examination of Laura revealed what the doctor had feared: her heart was in bad condition.

"I'm sorry, Laura," he said, putting his wand away. "Magical medicine is very advanced, but in your case, there is nothing I can do. We have made great strides in all fields related to magical maladies and accidents, but we have let traditional illnesses and problems suffer for it."

"So you can't help me?" Laura asked, fighting back new tears.

"I'm sorry, darling," he said, his eyes full of sorrow. "I wish there was something I could do to make you well, but there just isn't."

"I know you've tried your best," she said shakily.

He nodded sadly. "But Remus tells me you're going to see a cardiologist?"

"We haven't made the appointment yet, but, yes, I will be seeing one."

Mr. Lupin nodded. "They are far better with cases like yours than I could ever hope to be," he said. "I'm sure your specialist will be able to help you."

She nodded. "I hope so."

He smiled, and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. "I _know_ so. You just keep thinking positive, all right? Sometimes that's the best medicine of them all."

"I will."

"Promise?"

She smiled. "I promise."

"Good. Now, Remus will be transforming in about two hours, so if you're planning on talking to him again before then, you should do it now."

She nodded, and pulled herself out of bed. "I need to pack to go to Lily's, too."

"You stay with Lily during his transformations?"

She nodded. "Four animals in the house are a bit much for me."

Mr. Lupin smiled. "I can see your point." He kissed her forehead again. "Feel better, darling."

"I'll do my best."

* * *

Laura was packing for her evening with Lily when a soft knock sounded on her bedroom door. She tossed a pair of pajamas into her overnight bag.

"Come in," she called.

The door pushed open, and Remus walked into the room. "Hey," he said softly.

"Did you talk to your dad?"

"Yes." He ran his hands over his face. "He and my mum left. They both said to tell you goodbye."

Laura nodded. "He can't help me, Remus."

"No, he can't," Remus agreed. "But he seemed to think that the cardiologist would be able to heal you."

"Cure me," Laura corrected with a smile.

"What?"

"We say 'cure' in Muggle medicine, not 'heal.'"

"Oh."

Her smiled faded. "Remus, what if -?"

"Laura, please," Remus said, his eyes suddenly bright. "Please don't start that right now. I really can't handle thinking about it – not now, at least."

Laura looked outside, where the sun was rapidly sinking. Remus's emotions were always stronger the day of the full moon, and they always affected his transformations. He couldn't go into a transformation after discussing the potential outcomes of her illness. It would be too much for him. She nodded, and bit her lower lip. "All right. But we have to talk about it sometime."

Remus shook his head. "First we talk to the cardiologist. Then we'll decide what we need to talk about from there."

"All right," Laura agreed. She put the last few items into her overnight bag. "I'd better leave soon."

"Yes, you should," Remus agreed. "Are you going to tell Lily tonight?"

"Probably," she replied. "She's going to wonder why I'm Flooing over."

"You're Flooing?"

"I can't Apparate right now. The chances of all of me winding up at Lily's are pretty slim."

Remus smiled, and pulled her close. "Take care, all right?"

"You, too," she said, burying her face in his shoulder. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Remus said softly. He leaned down to kiss her. "Is it all right if I tell the guys?"

"If you want to."

He smiled sadly. "If I stay human long enough after they get here."

Laura nodded. "Good luck tonight."

"Thanks." He pulled her closer, and kissed her again. "I love you."

She smiled. "You said that already."

"You're going to hear it a lot from now on," Remus admitted.

"Good," she said softly. "I love you, too."

Laura finally pulled herself away from Remus, and picked up her overnight bag. "I'll be back in the morning."

"Me, too," Remus smiled.

With one last smile, Laura left the room. Remus watched her go, then heaved a sigh. Ever since the werewolf had bitten him all those years ago, people had told him how strong he was. His mother said that all that he had endured had made him stronger. Dumbledore and McGonagall had both praised his strength at Hogwarts. He knew that he had the strength and internal force to endure most trials and suffering – more, even, than most people. But this – he had never been faced with something like this. He only hoped that his inner strength would be enough to deal with all that lay ahead of him and Laura now.


	39. The Strength to Fight

A/N: Sorry, guys, but this is a sad one, too. I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I don't own Harry Potter.

The Strength to Fight

_Your little body's slowly breaking down  
__You're losing speed,  
__You're losing strength – not style  
__That goes on flourishing forever  
__But your eyes,  
__Your smile,  
__Do not have the sparkle of your fantastic past  
__If you climb one more mountain,  
__It could be your last  
__- Your Little Body's Slowly Breaking Down_, Jonathan Price, _Evita_

Remus walked onto the top step that led down to the basement, and pulled the door shut behind him. He took out his wand and began the litany of locking charms that had become second nature to him. They were necessary to keep him in the basement during the full moon, and, therefore, to keep his house intact.

Once the door was securely barred, he began to walk down the steps. The sounds of his friends' voices drifted up to him, reassuring him that life as normal would continue – at least for the time being. James, Sirius and Peter always Apparated straight into the basement when they came for his transformations. They said that there was no point in starting in the house, as Laura was generally gone by the time they got there and Remus always made his way down to the basement. They called it efficient time management; Remus called it laziness.

"She said something about how she loved me, but she couldn't be with me if I didn't love her," Sirius was saying.

"You told her that you didn't love her, then?" Peter asked in surprise.

"Not in so many words, no," Sirius said, his voice betraying that he was uncomfortable.

"Then what made her think that?" James asked.

"Well, we were snogging, and I swear I meant to say Rebecca . . ."

"You didn't," James laughed.

"I called her Olivia," Sirius admitted.

"So, it's over then?" James asked as Remus reached their usual starting point in the basement.

"Yeah," Sirius said, running his hands over his face. "I guess calling her Olivia wasn't the best course of action."

"Probably not," Peter laughed.

"How can you laugh in the face of my pain?" Sirius asked. His eyes lit up as he saw Remus. "Tell these two not to be so insensitive, Remus."

"What are you talking about?" Remus asked wearily. Despite having heard the words of their conversation as he approached, he had not put his mind to understanding or remembering a single one.

"Rebecca broke up with Sirius because he called her Olivia when he was snogging her," Peter said. "Well, that's the abridged version, at any rate."

Sirius and Rebecca. He should have known.

"Can you believe it?" James grinned. "The whole situation is ridiculous, if you ask me."

"Any words in my defense, Moony?" Sirius asked.

"You didn't love her," Remus said harshly. "You've spent months trying to decide if you wanted to be with her or Olivia. She's made your decision for you. Now you don't have to worry about it anymore."

Sirius's eyes widened in shock at his friend's reply. "All right, Moony, out with it. You're never so harsh. What's wrong?"

"I think you're being ridiculous to be this upset over a girl that you didn't even love!" Remus yelled, letting his emotions tumble out with his words. He knew that he was taking everything that had happened with Laura out on Sirius, but he didn't care. Now that he had begun, he couldn't stop the flow of words.

"You didn't love her, Sirius! She was just a toy to you – someone to play with until you realized that you really love Olivia, and that you should be on your knees begging her to take you back before it's too late! You _love_ Olivia! For God's sake, Sirius, don't let her get away from you like this! You love her! _You love her_!"

"Moony," Sirius said slowly.

Tears gathered in Remus's eyes as the real reason for his tirade came to the surface. "Laura's sick," he said brokenly.

"What's wrong with her?" James asked softly.

"She has a heart condition," Remus said. "Her doctor doesn't know what to do – she has to see a specialist –"

His words stopped as he began to sob. All three of his friends stepped forward to comfort him, only to stop short as his body began to shake. As the sound of snapping limbs reached their ears, James, Sirius and Peter all transformed, ready to begin the longest night of their careers as Animagi.

* * *

Lily, who had been sitting at the kitchen table reading her mail, jumped as her fireplace sprung to life. She looked over in surprise as Laura appeared. She gave Lily a smile.

"Hey, Lils."

"Laura? You Flooed over?"

Laura nodded as she stepped out of the hearth, brushing soot off her robes and bag. "I couldn't Apparate."

"What's wrong?" Lily asked, instantly concerned. She took out her wand, and pointed it at Laura. "_Scourgify_!"

"Thanks," Laura smiled.

"No problem," Lily replied. She looked critically at Laura, trying to guess what could have happened to make her so upset. "Do you want a cup of tea?"

"Sure."

Lily nodded, and began throwing spells around the kitchen until she had two steaming cups of tea on the table. She motioned Laura to a chair, and sat down across from her.

"Now," she said softly, "are you ready to tell me what had you too upset to Apparate? You and Remus didn't have a fight, did you?"

"No," Laura said quickly, "no, Remus and I are fine – well, our relationship is, at any rate." She looked rather uncomfortable as she finished her statement.

"What's going on, Laura?" Lily asked gently.

Laura drew a deep breath, and cupped her hands around her teacup. She looked down into it for a moment, watching the steam rise from the hot liquid. When she looked up again, tears stood in her eyes.

"Remus convinced me to go to my doctor today."

"Good," Lily said, relief evident in her eyes. "I knew you weren't feeling well even before James and I left for the Canaries. I thought you'd get better on your own, but . . ." She trailed off. "What did the doctor say?"

"I have a heart problem," she whispered. A tear slid down her cheek, splashing into her tea.

"What?" Lily whispered, the color draining from her face. "You're going to be all right, aren't you?"

Laura shook her head. "I don't know yet. My doctor said that he can't help me. I have to go see a cardiologist."

"What about a Healer?" Lily offered, trying her best to remain calm. Laura had to exhaust all her options before they started to panic. "Have you been to St. Mungo's?"

"Remus's dad came over to examine me earlier. He said there's nothing he can do for me, either. He said something about Healing Arts sacrificing Muggle aliments to find cures for magical ones."

Lily closed her eyes, and opened them again. "But the cardiologist will be able to help you, right?" she asked almost desperately.

"I hope so," Laura whispered. Her face crumpled as she fought back the sobs that wanted to escape. "I'm scared, Lily. I'm so scared."

Lily abandoned her chair and went around the table to pull Laura into a tight embrace. Laura clung to her, each woman giving up the battle for composure as they cried together.

* * *

When they discussed that night later, James, Sirius and Peter agreed that they had never seen Remus so fierce. Even the first full moon after Sirius had told Snape how to find Remus in werewolf form had nothing on this night.

As soon as the transformation was complete, it was obvious that the werewolf was angry – angry and frightened. Without any other outlet for his emotions, he began attacking his friends physically as Remus had attacked Sirius verbally only moments before. James and Sirius began fighting back together, only to realize how quickly they became exhausted. They had never had to expend so much energy to keep the werewolf in check.

After several rounds of battle, they began taking turns fighting with him. James went first, allowing the werewolf to throw himself at him. He attacked again and again, while James fought back, trying to protect his face from angry claws and teeth. He used his antlers to push his friend back, trying to wear him down so that it would be easier for Sirius to battle him.

Realizing that James was exhausted, Sirius jumped into the fray. James backed away as Sirius and the werewolf began the typical battle of two dogs. Peter rushed onto the floor, trying to distract the werewolf as best he could.

After only several rounds of battle, all three Animagi were exhausted. Would this night never end?

* * *

There was something therapeutic in tears. Both Lily and Laura emerged from their crying spasm feeling somehow calmer. They wiped their faces as they made their way back to their chairs. They were silent for a few moments, each sipping her tea in an effort to bring herself back to complete calm.

"You're going to be fine," Lily said soothingly. "I know it. There's no way anything awful could happen to you. You're too good a person, Laura. You don't deserve this."

Laura smiled sadly. "Bad things happen to good people, Lily. You should know that. Look at the kids you're covering for the Prophet."

Lily shuddered. "We're fighting to help those kids the same way that your cardiologist will fight to help you. The children will be safe in the end, and you're going to be fine, too." She looked thoughtful for a moment. "Have you made an appointment with a cardiologist yet?"

Laura shook her head. "I just found out about this today. I have a list of cardiologists at home, but I've barely looked at it. I think Remus has spent more time reading over it than I have."

"So you haven't picked one yet?"

"No, not yet. Why?"

"Well, James's best friend from when he was little, Danny, was studying to be a cardiologist," Lily said slowly. "Maybe he'll be able to help you."

"Is he a wizard?"

"No, a Muggle. He and James went to primary school together. I think he's worth a try."

Laura nodded. "At this point, I'll try anything."

Lily nodded. "I'll talk to James tomorrow. I'm sure we can find a way to get in touch with him."

"Thanks, Lily."

Lily smiled, and touched her hand. "Laura, we're not going to let anything happen to you. Remus, me, James, Sirius, everyone – we all love you too much to let you go. We're not giving up without a fight."

"Neither am I," Laura said with a weak smile.

Lily frowned. "You don't have much confidence."

Laura sighed. "I don't know what to think, Lily. Ever since I was eleven, I've gotten used to the idea that magic will fix anything. I mean, look at Remus. He's suffered with this terrible werewolf issue for years, but through magic, his friends became Animagi to help him. They were able to ease his pain, to make his transformations bearable. Those children that Sirius and Olivia found were in terrible shape, but the Healers fixed them so that you would never know anything happened to them – and then Sirius and Olivia modified their memories so that the kids themselves will never remember it. I've seen Healers take people from the brink of death and give them back their lives on the battlefield. But now that it's me, magic can't help."

"Magic can't fix everything," Lily said softly. "Magic couldn't save my parents. It couldn't save James's father. It couldn't save Kathleen." She reached across the table with both hands to take Laura's in hers. "But think of all the advances in Muggle medicine. Think of all they can do now to make people whole again. The wizarding world is a _different_ way of life, Laura, not necessarily a _better_ one. We have to remember our roots, and to have faith in the system that we relied on for eleven years."

Laura nodded. "I've always trusted Muggle doctors."

"Then prove it," Lily said urgently. "Put your hope and faith in them now. Let them make you well again."

* * *

As the first rays of sunlight fell across the basement floor, they illuminated the bruised and battered bodies of a werewolf, a stag, a dog and a rat. All four animals had finally succumbed to their exhaustion an hour before dawn, each dropping onto the floor to steal a few moments of rest. Now, as the sun signaled the end of the long night, the werewolf's bones began to break as his body reformed into that of Remus.

The sounds of snapping limbs awoke his friends, who transformed back into their own human forms. They looked at one another, wincing at the bruises on each other's bodies.

"That was a tough one," Peter said, experimentally stretching his arms over his head. He winced in pain, and brought them back down to his sides, adjusting his sleeves to fall to his wrists.

"Remind me never to transform with Remus again when he's just been through emotional trauma," Sirius said, touching an open sore on his back. "Ouch. Peter, can you heal that for me?"

Peter nodded, and took out his wand to fix his friend's back. James looked at them for a moment, then looked down at Remus's still form.

"You don't think we killed him, do you?" he asked a bit fearfully.

"No," Sirius said. "We're smarter than that. We know when to stop."

"It's just – he's not moving."

As if to declare James a liar, Remus shifted slightly, groaning as the movement brought pain to his body. James stepped forward, taking out his wand to begin healing the wounds on his friend's body.

"He's going to need some of that salve his dad brought over last month," he commented as he checked Remus over.

Peter nodded. "I'll go get it." He disappeared up the stairs to retrieve the jar of salve from the bathroom.

"How is he?" Sirius asked, looking at James and Remus.

"He'll make it," James said. He sat back on his heels, and looked at Sirius, running his hand through his hair. "Shit, Sirius. What do you think is wrong with Laura?"

"Remus said she has a heart condition," Sirius said. He ran his hands over his face. "I can't believe I was upset about Rebecca breaking up with me. Remus is right – he loves Laura far more than I ever cared about Rebecca."

"And Olivia?" James asked quietly.

Sirius shook his head, but did not give any other response to James's question. "What does that mean? That she has a heart condition?"

"I don't know." James sat down fully on the floor. "Do you think she'll be all right?"

"Yes," Sirius said confidently. "She has to be. She and Remus were meant to be together. I don't know if he'll be able to go on without her."

"That's pretty morbid, Sirius."

"Well, it's true. Don't you remember what it was like when they broke up seventh year? 'Heartbroken' almost isn't strong enough to describe how Remus felt. I can't imagine what he'd do if he had to live without her forever."

James shook his head slowly. "He has us. We'd help him deal with it."

"Grief changes people, James," Sirius said slowly. "We can't predict what will happen."

"We don't have to," James said. "You said it yourself. Laura will be fine."

Peter came back down the stairs with the salve in hand. "Of course she will," he said, having heard James's last comment. "Remus's dad is a Healer. He'll be able to fix whatever problem she has."

James brightened. "I never thought of that!"

"See?" Sirius said. "It's like I said – she'll be fine."

* * *

When Laura arrived home again, James, Sirius and Peter had levitated Remus up to bed. She smiled to see the three of them sitting in the bedroom with him, waiting for him to awake, as they did every month.

"Hi, guys," she smiled.

"Laura," Sirius said, getting up to give her a hug, "how are you feeling?"

Her face changed. "Remus told you, didn't he?"

"Sort of," James admitted. "All he said was that you have a heart condition, and then the transformation started."

Laura nodded. "Well, that's about all we know at this point."

"Have you been to see a Healer?" Sirius asked.

Laura nodded. "There's nothing they can do," she said, biting her lower lip.

Recognizing that she didn't want to talk about it, James nodded. "Have you told anyone else?"

"We told our parents yesterday," she said, "and I told Lily last night." She paused, and looked at them. "If you guys see Olivia and Dana, would you tell them? I'm just not really up to going through all this again."

"Of course," James nodded. He gave Sirius and Peter a meaningful look. "We'll just leave you alone with Remus. If you need anything, you know where to find us."

She nodded, giving him a grateful smile. "Thank you – for everything."

"You're welcome."

With parting kisses for Laura, all three young men Disapparated. Laura heaved a sigh of relief. As much as she loved them, and as much as she now thought of them as _her_ friends rather than just Remus's, she was glad to see them go. She didn't want to have to pretend to be fine anymore.

She looked over at the sleeping form of her husband. Even though his friends had done all they could to heal his bruises and wounds, the evidence was still there. She bit her lip again to stop its shaking. She had never seen him so scarred from a full moon. She was sure that the news of her heart condition had had quite a bit to do with it.

Wiping unbidden tears from her eyes, she crossed the room to lie down next to him. She slipped underneath the covers, and cuddled close to him, putting her arms around him. She knew that he was too deep into the transformation-induced sleep to realize that she was there, but she desperately needed to feel close to him.

As she put her head down on his chest, he reached his arm around her, holding her close. She looked up at him in shock, thinking that she had woken him with her movements, but he was clearly still in a deep sleep. Maybe it was some instinct that made him touch her. Or, maybe he needed to feel close to her as much as she needed to feel close to him.

* * *

James was exhausted as he Apparated into his kitchen. Lily, who was at the stove making breakfast, jumped.

"Home so early?" she asked lightly.

James nodded, and crossed the kitchen in two strides to pull her close. Realizing that he, too, knew about Laura, Lily clung to him as he crushed her against him. Tears welled up in her eyes as all the fears she had tried to bury came crashing in around her.

"I can't believe it," James said hoarsely. "How could this have happened?"

"I don't know," Lily said, her own voice muffled by repressed tears. "Laura's too good a person – she doesn't deserve this."

"Bad things happen to everyone," James said softly.

"I know that," Lily whispered, thinking of her conversation with Laura the night before. She pulled away from him enough to look into his eyes. "How much did Remus tell you?"

"Just that she has a heart condition and that she as to see a specialist," James replied. "After he got that out, the transformation started, so the conversation had to end. And when Laura got home this morning, she clearly didn't want to talk about it."

Lily nodded. "We talked about it a bit last night."

"Did she tell you any more than what Remus told us?"

"They don't know much yet," Lily said. "I don't think they'll find anything out until they talk to the specialist."

The smell of burning eggs reached them, and Lily jumped. She grabbed her wand, using it to vanish the burned eggs and to clean the pan.

"Did you want something to eat?" she asked.

James sat down at the table and shook his head. "Last night was the worst night I've had in . . . well, ever. I don't think I can stomach anything right now."

Lily crossed to brush his hair back from his face. "You're a good friend, James, to do this for Remus."

"He'd do the same for me," James replied simply. "Remus, Sirius, and Peter are my best friends. Without them, I don't know where I'd be right now. I know that they'd sacrifice everything for me, just like I would for them."

Lily smiled. "You know, one of the first things that made me fall in love with you was watching you with your friends. The bonds you four have just amazed me. I thought that if you could be like that with your friends – so devoted, so self-sacrificing – then you weren't just the class clown that you always acted like for the rest of the world."

James smiled. "I'll have to thank my friends, then."

"I'm not saying I fell in love with you _just_ because of them," she said. "I'm just so glad that I got to meet this James Potter. And I'm so glad that you finally made this the face that you show to the world."

James grinned. "If it won me your love, then I'm glad, too." He put his arms around her waist, and pulled her down onto his lap. He kissed her cheek as she threaded her fingers through his hair. "Are you all right? About Laura and everything that's happened?"

"I suppose," she said, her fingers still moving through his hair. "I'm scared for her, James."

"I know," James sighed. "I'm scared for Remus, too. I can't imagine what would happen to him if –"

"Stop," Lily whispered. "Don't even say it."

James nodded. "She'll see the specialist, and everything will be fine."

"The specialist!" Lily exclaimed. "James, we need to talk to Danny."

"Danny?"

"Yes, Danny! Don't you remember? He said he's training to be a cardiologist! Maybe he can help Laura!"

James's eyes widened. "I didn't even think of him!"

"Do you think he can help her?"

"If anyone can, it's him. Danny was always at the top of our classes in primary school. He's incredibly clever." He grinned. "We'll talk to him. I'm sure he can help Laura."

"Good," Lily said, snuggling up against him.

James grinned, and pulled her closer. He ran his hand over her side, letting it rest on her expanded stomach. "Anything's possible, Lil," he said softly. "If we managed to get over all our differences from when we were little kids, to fall in love, to get married and to have a baby together, there's nothing that's impossible. Laura will be fine."

Lily smiled, and put her hand over his. "Miracles happen everyday."

* * *

Upon further discussion, James and Lily agreed that it would be best to meet with Danny in person to talk with him about Laura. James called him to finalize the details. Like Laura, Lily had insisted that they install a telephone in their house. As much as she adored and embraced the wizarding world, there were some things about her past that she could not give up.

"We're meeting tonight for coffee," James informed Lily as he hung up the phone. "I told him we'd both be there, and that we wanted to discuss a friend who's ill."

"Was he all right with that? He doesn't feel like we're using him for his professional skills?"

James grinned. "Danny's practically family, Lil. That's like saying Sirius would think we're using him for his professional skills."

Lily grinned. "Sirius has professional skills?"

James laughed. "Speaking of, I have news about Sirius – and I should really stop laughing before I tell you."

"What happened?" Lily asked, steeling herself for another tragedy.

"Rebecca broke up with him."

"What? Why?"

James laughed again. "Apparently, he called her Olivia when he was snogging her."

"What?" Lily cried. "James, that's not funny! Stop laughing!"

"It _is_ funny!" James exclaimed.

Lily shook her head. "I think it's sad."

"Sad? As in pathetic?"

"No, as in that he's denying his feelings."

James shook his head. "We can't get involved, Lil. He and Olivia have to sort this out on their own – and, as far as we know, she's still with Greg."

Lily shook her head. "Maybe someday they'll come around."

"Or maybe they won't," James replied. He shrugged. "Maybe they're not meant to be."

"Do you honestly believe that?"

He shrugged. "Who am I to question fate? Let's worry about Laura right now – I think we can actually make a difference for her."

* * *

Sirius had never been so grateful to have an afternoon shift. When he got home from Remus and Laura's house, he went straight to his bedroom, and dropped into bed. He spent the morning sleeping in an attempt to get over the difficult experience of the night before.

When he finally woke up, he still felt terrible. The knowledge that Laura was sick – and that he would have to be the one to bring the news to Olivia – weighed on him. Trying to put himself in a more work-oriented mood, he took a long shower, then dressed in his Auror robes and Disapparated.

Upon arrival at the Auror department, Sirius went straight toward Olivia's office. He knew that she had worked the morning shift; they only had about an hour's overlap before she would be gone. He had to tell her today. If he didn't, it would just become too difficult.

He knocked on the office door, and heard a call to enter. He opened the door, and walked in slowly.

Olivia, who was seated at her desk, looked up with a smile. "Hi, Sirius," she said cheerfully. "I'm glad you came in. I wanted to tell you that you put together a fantastic party. Greg and I . . ." Her voice trailed off at the look on his face. She felt the color drain from her face at his somber expression. "What's happened?" she asked fearfully.

Sirius crossed to kneel down next to her, and took her hands in his. "I have some news," he said carefully. "It's not good, but it's not tragic yet, either, so just . . . just be prepared."

Olivia nodded silently, clutching his hands in hers. She had not seen Sirius this upset since Mr. Potter's death. The look in his eyes had her terrified.

"I was over at Remus and Laura's last night," he began.

Olivia nodded again. Of course he had been; he, James and Peter always joined Remus for the full moon.

"They – they had just been to see the doctor," Sirius continued. "You know, Laura hasn't been well recently, so they wanted to have her checked out – and the doctor told them that she has a heart condition."

"What?" Olivia gasped. "What does that mean?"

"I don't know," Sirius said honestly. "But I do know that Remus is terrified, and that Laura seems sort of lost. They have to go see a specialist – I don't remember what the name is, but it's someone who just works with heart conditions."

Olivia's eyes filled with tears. "Laura will be okay, won't she?"

"I don't know," Sirius said again. "I hope so."

As the severity of it hit her, Olivia began to cry, burying her face in her hands. She sobbed without words, unable to find any other way to articulate her fear.

Sirius looked at her awkwardly for a moment, then did the only thing that seemed right: he pulled her down onto the floor, into a comforting embrace. She clung to him as she sobbed, letting all her fear run out with the tears. Despite the fact that they were both terrified, despite the fact that all they could concentrate on was their sorrow, they both knew that this – comforting one another, holding one another – felt _right_.

They stayed like that for a long time, until a knock sounded on the door. Olivia raised her head from its position pillowed on Sirius's shoulder.

"Come in," she said in a raspy voice.

The door opened, and Greg walked in. He looked around the office in confusion for a moment until his eyes fell on Olivia and Sirius holding each other on the floor.

"Everything all right?" he asked with a frown.

Olivia jumped up, and ran into his arms. "My friend is sick," she managed to gasp out before the tears began again.

Greg pulled her close, and looked at Sirius over Olivia's head.

"We just found out that one of our friends has a heart problem," Sirius said. "At this point, we don't know much. We're pretty worried about her."

"Of course," Greg said, pulling Olivia even closer.

Sirius looked at them awkwardly for a moment. "Well, I'll just be going, then. Take care, Liv."

He walked out closing the door softly behind him. He had made it halfway down the hall before he heard her call.

"Sirius, wait!"

He turned and saw Olivia coming toward him. Even with her eyes bloodshot and swollen, and her face splotchy from crying, Sirius was sure that she was the prettiest girl – _woman_ – he had ever seen. He fought back his feelings, and waited for her to catch up to him.

"Thank you," she said softly when she reached him. "Thank you for finding me and for telling me about Laura. Thank you for staying with me."

"I couldn't leave you alone," he said.

"You could have," Olivia replied. "But you didn't – and I just – thank you."

She stood up on tiptoe, and kissed his cheek. Then, a flush coming over her cheeks, she turned and hurried back to her office, leaving Sirius to stand alone and watch her run away.

* * *

James and Lily walked into the café that Danny had suggested five minutes before the appointed time. He was already there, sitting at a table in a secluded corner. His face lit up with a smile when he saw them coming.

"Hi, guys!" he greeted them. He stood up to shake James's hand and hug Lily. "Look at you!" he exclaimed, holding her hands out from her body. "You look so much different than the last time I saw you! When are you due?"

"The first week of August," Lily grinned.

Danny shook his head. "I don't think you're going to make it that long."

"Oh, no," Lily laughed. "Don't go giving this baby any ideas! She's going to be right on time – maybe even a few days late. Mummy and Daddy need all that time to get ready for her."

Danny grinned. "All right, then, if that's what you say."

They all sat down, and a waitress appeared to take their order. After ordering their drinks, Danny grinned at them.

"So, how have you two been?" he asked. "I talked to your mum, James, awhile back, and she said you were off on a vacation in Spain."

James nodded with a grin. "It was a belated first anniversary celebration. We went to the Canary Islands."

"How was it?" Danny asked, his voice carrying a hint of envy. "I'd love to go – I've heard the islands are amazing."

"They are," James affirmed. "They're absolutely beautiful. And I really needed the time away to give myself a chance to deal with everything that had happened – losing my dad and all."

Danny nodded sympathetically. "You know, I still can't believe it myself. Things like that – a car accident – are the worst. You just don't see them coming, and all you're left to do is to deal with it."

James nodded. "That was exactly my problem – I wasn't dealing with it."

Danny nodded again as the waitress reappeared with their drinks. Once she was gone, they all took experimental sips.

"Now," Danny said, looking at them evenly, "you had something medical that you wanted to discuss?"

"Yes," James said. "Our friend was just diagnosed yesterday with a heart problem. Her family doctor told her that she needs to see a specialist. When she started talking about it, you were the first person who came to mind for Lily – she thought there might be some way you could help her."

"Well, heart problems are my specialty," Danny said slowly. "Did she say what was wrong, exactly?"

Lily shook her head. "She just said that her doctor couldn't help her, and that she had to see a cardiologist."

"I talked to her husband, and got even less than Lily did," James added.

Danny nodded. "Sometimes it can be harder for the spouses to talk about these conditions than the people who actually have them."

"She's been ill for awhile," Lily said. "She finally agreed to go to the doctor yesterday, and he told her to see a specialist as quickly as she can."

Danny nodded. "All right. I'll get her in."

"Just like that?" James asked, exchanging a shocked smile with Lily.

Danny grinned. "Just like that. The doctor I'm currently interning with, Steve Hayward, is one of the best in the country when it comes to cardiologists. I'm sure he'll be able to help your friend."

"Will it be a problem to get her an appointment?" Lily asked. "If he's that good, his schedule must be quite full."

"It is," Danny conceded. "But I'll find a way to make it happen. Give me your friend's number. I'll straighten everything out."

* * *

The next day, Danny called Laura to set up an appointment. By the end of the week, she and Remus were journeying to yet another doctor's office. Laura pulled into a parking space, and turned off the car. She held her hand over the keys for a moment, trying to collect herself before she got out of the car.

"Are you ready for this?" Remus asked.

"I never dreamed that it would happen so fast," Laura said softly. "Even when Lily told me that James had a friend in cardiology, I assumed we'd have to wait a month to get an appointment. I'm not really ready yet, I guess."

"You have about five minutes," Remus smiled, glancing at his watch.

Laura gave him a look that bordered on annoyance. "I need about a month."

Remus reached out to touch her cheek. "This is for the best, love. You need to get in to see the specialist soon so that you can begin treatment. The quicker you start fighting this, the quicker you'll be better." He ran his hand down her neck and over her chest, letting it come to rest on her stomach. "And the sooner you're better, the sooner we can start trying for a baby again."

Laura looked up at him with a smile. "I guess you're right."

"Of course I am." He pulled his hand back, and unbuckled his seat belt. "Come on. Let's go inside."

The office waiting room was very nice – nicer than the one at Laura's doctor's office. It was also far less crowded. Somehow, that had a calming affect on her. It was as if they didn't schedule as many patients so that they would have more time to devote to each individual.

Laura walked to the desk to sign in, while Remus took a seat. The nurse smiled at her as she approached.

"Good morning," she said pleasantly. "Can I help you?"

"I'm Laura Lupin," she said. "I have an appointment at ten."

"Of course," the nurse replied. She took out a clipboard and pen. "We'll just need you to fill these out while you're waiting for Dr. Hayward."

Laura took the clipboard, and sat down next to Remus. She was still filling out the form when the office door opened, and a tall young man came out.

"Laura Lupin?" he asked.

She stood quickly, nearly dropping her clipboard. He grinned as he saw her.

"Just stay there," he said, crossing the room to join her. "I'm Danny, James's friend."

"Oh, hi," Laura smiled. "I'm Laura, and this is my husband, Remus."

Danny shook both their hands. "It's great to meet you both. I wish it had been on happier terms, but regardless, it's nice to meet some of James's friends. Sometimes I think he's trying to hide all of you from me!"

Laura grinned. "No, we're just all busy people."

"Of course." Danny looked down at the clipboard Laura was holding. "I just wanted to come out to tell you what's going to happen before you get started with the doctor."

"Oh, that would be great."

He nodded, and smiled. "First he's going to talk to you. You'll go over your medical history, and over your current symptoms. Then he'll start a physical exam, followed by tests. We'll definitely do blood tests today, and probably use some of the machines to get some readings. Any tests that we have immediate feedback on, we'll go over with you today. Other than that, we'll make another appointment to go over the rest of your results."

"What about beginning treatment?" Remus asked.

Danny nodded. "We may touch on that today, depending on what we find. But the majority of that will be discussed during your next appointment."

"All right," Laura said, feeling a bit overwhelmed.

"Don't worry," Danny said, correctly reading the expression on her face. "Dr. Hayward is a fantastic cardiologist – one of the best England has to offer. And I'll make sure he takes special care of you, since you're friends of James and Lily."

Laura finally began to relax. Somehow, Danny had managed to make her feel at ease. She knew that regardless of how she would fee about Dr. Hayward after she met him, she trusted this young man in front of her to do the right thing regarding her health.

Their time with the doctor flowed exactly as Danny had said that it would. They discussed her medical history, he examined her, and he ran more tests than she thought were possible in one day. At the end of it all, he smiled.

"Well, at least that part is over," he said. "We'll know more once we get your tests results next week. Until then, I'm going to give you a prescription that I want you to start on. This will even out your blood pressure, which should help your heart rhythm." He handed Laura a slip of paper with her prescription written on it. "On your way out, make an appointment for ten days from now so that we can go over your test results, all right?"

"Sure," Laura said. "Thanks, Dr. Hayward."

"You're welcome. I'll see you in ten days."

Laura looked at Remus as the office door closed behind the doctor. "Well, that wasn't so awful. I like him."

Remus nodded. "As long as you like him, I'm happy."

"You didn't like him?"

"I just wish he had told us more today."

Laura shook her head. "You can't expect instant test results. This is the Muggle world, Remus. Things work differently here."

Remus sighed. "I know. Ten days just seems like a long time to wait."

* * *

But the ten days passed quickly. Before it seemed possible, they were back in Dr. Hayward's office, waiting to see him again. This time it was different. Danny came out to greet them, and took them back into the doctor's personal office. They sat down in front of his desk while Danny went to get the doctor himself. Remus's eyes caressed the titles of the nearly hundreds of books that lined the shelves. He would love to read them, to learn more about what was wrong with Laura.

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting," Dr. Hayward said as he came into the office, Laura's file in his hands. "I got caught up with a patient."

"That's fine," Laura said.

The doctor sat down behind his desk. Danny, who had come in with him, sat down a little apart from the group.

"Right," the doctor said, opening Laura's file. "I have the results of all the tests we ran on you."

"And?" Laura asked.

Dr. Hayward looked at her with kind compassion, and a bit of sorrow. "It doesn't look good, Laura."

Laura reached for Remus, who took her hand in his, putting almost crushing pressure on it. She was so shocked by that one sentence that she barely noticed that Remus was all but breaking the bones in her hand.

"What does that mean?" Remus managed to ask.

"Laura's heart is in bad condition," Dr. Hayward said. "From the looks of it, I'd say you've had this problem for years without symptoms. Things such as this don't always show themselves until the last possible moment."

_The last possible moment_. The words seemed to reverberate in the air around them, carrying an ominous death sentence.

"Are you saying there's nothing you can do for her?" Remus asked, swallowing hard.

"No, not at all," Dr. Hayward said. "I'm saying that it's going to be a difficult battle. But we're going to fight it – and we're going to do everything in our power to win."

"What do we need to do?"

"We're going to start you on an aggressive regime of medications," Dr. Hayward said, pulling out his pad to write several prescriptions. "These medications should provide immediate relief, and should begin to fix the problem. It'll be about six months before we know for sure if they've helped."

"What happens then?"

"We reevaluate. If there's been improvement, we continue on this course. If not, we discuss our options."

"Which will be?"

"More medications, surgery . . .It all depends on how Laura responds to the medications."

Laura nodded. "So you think I'll be all right?"

He smiled. "I'm not a fortuneteller, Laura. But, if I have anything to say about it, you'll be fine."

She drew a shaky breath. "I'll be fine," she whispered.

"Yes," Dr. Hayward said. "Now, Danny, as you know, is my intern. He's taken special interest in your case, and, if you have no objections, would like to be a part of your medical process. If that's a problem, I can give him another case to work on, but if you agree, he'd like to assist me with your treatment."

"That's fine," Laura said quickly. Somehow just knowing that Danny would be helping made her feel better.

"Good," Dr. Hayward said. "Do you have any other questions right now?"

"No – nothing now – "

Dr. Hayward smiled. "You're young, Laura, and you're strong. If anyone can beat this, you can."

Laura smiled faintly. "I hope so."

Danny shook his head. "No, Laura, have some certainty. _You can do this_."

She smiled again. "Of course I can."

_Oh, God_, she prayed silently, _give me the strength to beat this. Give me the strength to fight it. Give me the strength to live._

* * *

Laura felt completely numb as she and Remus walked back to the car. Remus looked at her unfocussed eyes, knowing that she would never even find the car without his direction, let alone get them home safely.

"Can I have the keys?" he asked softly.

Laura handed them over without protest. Remus looked around for a moment, then took out his wand. Certain that they were alone, he tapped the keys, which glowed faintly purple for a moment.

"Here you go," he said, handing them back.

Laura reached out for the keys. In the second that her hand touched them, they turned into the Portkey that took her and Remus home.

She looked at him with faint annoyance when they arrived in their living room. "You didn't have to do that, you know."

"Yes, I did," Remus replied. "Can you honestly tell me that you're in any condition to drive?"

"No," Laura sighed. Her face crumpled, and she began to cry.

Remus pulled her close, running his hands over her hair and back. The longer she cried, the harder it became for him to fight his own tears; in the end, he gave up the battle and cried with her.

As standing became too much, they sank down the floor, both still crying. They clung to one another as though afraid to let go. After awhile, they managed to calm down. Even when the tears had stopped, they remained in each other's arms. Remus gently ran his hand over Laura's arms, while she curled up against him.

"Remus?"

"Hm?"

He looked down to see her upturned face. She looked into his eyes for a moment, then began kissing him. He was surprised by the change in her temperament, but responded instantly, kissing back.

Laura put pressure on his shoulders, lowering him onto his back. She fell on top of him, and kissed him insistently.

"Laura," Remus gasped, "wait – what are you – please –"

"Make love to me, Remus," Laura whispered.

"Laura . . ."

"Please." She kissed him again, then pulled back. "I need to feel close to you. I need to feel _alive_."

Remus nodded, and rolled her onto her back, reversing their positions so that he was lying on top of her. "You _are_ alive," he said, kissing her again. "And I'm not leaving you."

"Prove it," she whispered, tears shining in her eyes. "Let me feel you."

Remus kissed her again, and began unbuttoning her shirt. He wanted to feel close to her as much as she wanted to feel close to him.

"I love you," he whispered, lowering his lips to the exposed skin on her chest. He kissed the skin that covered her heart, feeling it beat against his lips.

"I love you, too."


	40. The Prophecy

A/N: This chapter is a bit of a change of pace. Don't worry; we'll get back to Laura and Remus in the future. I haven't forgotten about them, but these next few chapters won't feature them like the previous two. Suffice it to say that Laura has begun her drug therapy, and everything is status quo for now.

Oh, and before you start reading too much into this chapter, I want to let you know that the spy doesn't have a name for a reason – it's not important. He's a spy, and that's all. Don't worry about his identity!

Thanks for reading and reviewing! Enjoy!

I don't own Harry Potter.

The Prophecy

_Could someone deliver us?  
__Just send us some kind of sign  
__So close to giving up  
_'_Cause faith is so hard to find  
__- Believe it or Not, _Nickleback

_Dear Madam Trelawney,_

_I would like to inform you that I have received your letter of interest regarding the position of Professor of Divination, as well as your resume. Upon reviewing your credentials, I feel that an interview would be the appropriate course of action. I would like to meet with you to discuss your abilities, as well as all that the position entails. Please inform me of a convenient time and place to meet for our discussion._

_I await your owl, and I look forward to meeting you in person._

_Sincerely,_

_Albus P. W. B. Dumbledore_

* * *

"Are we any closer to discovering this spy, then?"

"No." Albus Dumbledore looked away from Minerva McGonagall, letting his eyes roam over the landscape that surrounded Hogwarts. "We are no closer than we were the day Lily Potter told me that her source had led her to believe that there is a spy."

"You don't believe there is a spy in the Order?" McGonagall asked, narrowing her eyes.

"No, I am quite certain that there is one. The problem now is not having any idea who it is."

"Do you suspect anyone?"

"I suspect everyone," Dumbledore replied.

"Don't you think that's being a bit _too_ suspicious?"

"How can I not?" Dumbledore asked. "Every member of the Order is someone that I trust. If I did not trust them all, why would I have asked them to join me in this battle? Yet, clearly, I should not trust them all. How, then, should I decide who not to trust?"

"You should look at each individual," McGonagall replied. "Consider each person's characteristics, and decide if they would be likely to turn."

Dumbledore smiled, his eyes twinkling. "I do not suspect you, Minerva, if that is what you are implying."

She shook her head, the humor of the situation lost on her. "That's not what I was trying to say, Albus."

"I know," Dumbledore sighed. He glanced at the clock on his desk. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut this meeting short, Professor. I have to meet with a candidate for the Divination vacancy."

"I thought we had agreed to drop that subject from our curriculum!"

"I know," Dumbledore said again. "That was my intention."

"You never discussed an interview with me. And shouldn't the Heads all be present, as we were when you interviewed James Potter?"

"Somehow, I had a feeling that your attitude would be a problem in this interview. I am going to speak with her on my own."

"I was just so sure that you had decided against continuing with the subject."

"I had. However, I received a letter of interest from Sibyll Trelawney, and it is only polite to grant her an interview."

"Sibyll Trelawney?" McGonagall asked, frowning slightly. "Oh, yes, I remember her. She was an abysmal Transfiguration student. Have you talked to Professor Turner about her performance in her class?"

Dumbledore nodded. "Professor Turner assures me that she had acceptable marks in Divination. Madam Trelawney's grandmother was a famous Seer. With a family history, chances are good that she, too, will have the Gift."

McGonagall laughed. "You know as well as I do that there is no such thing as the 'Gift' or the 'Sight.' You're only doing this to be polite."

"You should try to convince Professor Turner that she does not have the Sight," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling again.

McGonagall waved her hand impatiently. "No matter what these so-called Seers predict, I will never believe in Divination as a viable branch of magic."

"Now, my dear professor," Dumbledore smiled, putting on his cloak, "surely you have heard of the prophecies that are kept in the Department of Mysteries. They would not be so heavily guarded if there was no truth in them."

"I do not deny the existence of prophecies," McGonagall said stiffly. "I do, however, deny that Divination is a branch of magic that should be taught at our school."

Dumbledore smiled. "And deny the Seers of tomorrow a chance to develop their skills?"

McGonagall rolled her eyes. "Sometimes there is just no reasoning with you."

"And that's why the staff is thrilled to have you, Minerva, as Deputy Headmistress," Dumbledore grinned. "If you would like to talk more later, come back to find me."

She nodded. "Good luck with your interview."

"Why, thank you."

McGonagall rolled her eyes. "And be sure to be kind when you refuse her the position."

"Now who is taking the role of a Seer?" Dumbledore grinned. "You already assume that I will not grant her the position."

"You don't believe that she's a Seer anymore than I do."

"We shall see," Dumbledore said with a wink. "We shall see."

* * *

It was not a long walk from the castle to the Hog's Head in the village, but it had begun to rain by the time that Dumbledore arrived. He lowered his hood, and shook the water off his cloak, catching the attention of several patrons in the small bar. One man's eyes followed the Headmaster as he crossed the room. Dumbledore did not look around; he merely maintained his course. His eyes twinkled as they fell on the man behind the bar.

"Albus," the bartender greeted him.

"Aberforth," Dumbledore grinned.

"She's already waiting for you," Aberforth said. "I gave her the parlor. She said that she was going to need the space to show you all she can do." He shrugged. "She's a little off, if you ask me. I think your school would be better off without her."

Dumbledore smiled. "Thank you for that assessment. I'll be sure to take it into consideration when I decide if I should give her the position or not."

Aberforth shook his head. "It's your school, Albus, and I can't tell you how to run it. I'm just trying to say that if she applied for a job as a waitress here, I'd think twice before I'd give it to her."

"Again, thank you for the advice," Albus replied. "In the parlor, you said?"

"Yes, that's right."

Dumbledore nodded. "Thank you, Aberforth."

"You're welcome."

The bartender watched as his brother made his way back to the parlor, a smaller dining room off the main bar. Both Dumbledores remained oblivious to the fact that one of the customers, too, was watching Albus's progress across the room. When Aberforth went back to washing glasses, the customer stood up, and followed Albus to the parlor.

When he arrived, the door was closed. He was certain that this was the room that Albus Dumbledore had disappeared into. He could hear voices inside. He strained to hear enough to identify the speakers. Yes, one was Dumbledore. But the other . . . he wasn't sure who the second voice belonged to. Regardless, if this person was meeting with Dumbledore, the information that was exchanged would be imperative to his master. Standing as close to the wall as possible, he began to listen.

"Madam Trelawney," Dumbledore greeted, removing his cloak. "It's wonderful to see you again. It's been quite a long time since your days as a student at Hogwarts."

"I want to thank you, Professor Dumbledore, for giving me this opportunity," Sibyll replied, draping her gauzy shawl around her shoulders. "I hope that my skills will be what the school requires."

"As do I," Dumbledore said. "Now, a bit about the position to begin – should you be offered and accept the position, you will be given only students from third year and older to teach. You will need to prepare them to take their OWLs in fifth year and their NEWTs in seventh year. Professor Turner, our current Divination professor, will be willing to work with you over the summer to teach you her methods of teaching. You will not, of course, be required to teach the same way that she does, but you should know that she has always had success with her students.

"Professor Turner is also the Head of Slytherin House. However, I will not ask you to take that responsibility your first year; I am certain that I will find another teacher who will be willing to take it."

He smiled at her. "Now, I believe a demonstration of your skills in the art of Divination is in order. Where would you like to begin?"

"If I could see your palm, Professor, I would like to demonstrate my abilities in palmistry," she smiled.

After misreading the Headmaster's palm, Trelawney progressed to reading tea leaves and the crystal ball. She went through a rather extensive list of omens that she could identify, and talked about her accurate predictions of the past. As the time ticked by, Dumbledore began to think that both Minerva and Aberforth were right. This woman clearly had no abilities in the art of Divination. He smiled politely as she continued with the demonstration of her "skills," trying to think of a gracious way to tell her that he would not be requiring her services.

"There are many death omens," she stated, "which can manifest themselves in a variety of ways. For example, it is possible . . ."

Her voice trailed off, and her eyes rolled back in her head. Dumbledore jumped out of his seat, thinking that she had fainted. He stopped short when she began to speak in a deep, harsh voice that was clearly not her own. The man waiting outside the room stood up straighter as he heard this new voice. He had never heard a prophecy before, but was certain that he was hearing one now.

"_THE ONE WITH THE POWER TO DEFEAT THE DARK LORD APPROACHES . . . BORN TO THOSE WHO HAVE THRICE DEFIED HIM, BORN AS THE SEVENTH MONTH DIES . . ."_

The listener in the hall strained to hear the next words over the loud footsteps that were coming toward him. Aberforth frowned as he saw the man listening at the door.

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "What do you think you're doing? Get away from there!"

"I was just – "

"You were just nothing!" Aberforth exclaimed. He grabbed the man by the arm, and dragged him down the hall, away from the parlor. "You have no business being around here! If you can't keep yourself to the front room, you will not be – "

Aberforth stopped short as he looked down at the man's arm. His sleeve had come up as Aberforth had been dragging him, revealing an odd tattoo – a tattoo of the Dark Mark. The man, realizing what Aberforth had seen, quickly pulled down his sleeve.

"What in the world is that?" Aberforth asked.

"None of your concern," the man said quickly.

"But -?"

But before Aberforth could even formulate his question, the man Disapparated. Aberforth looked at the place where he had been standing for a moment, then hurried back down the hall. He wasn't sure what had been said during the interview, but he was sure that Albus would want to know that this man – a man who was clearly a spy - had overheard it.

"Albus?" he said, opening the door. "Can I have a word with you?"

Albus was sitting in one of the room's chairs with a dumbfounded expression on his face. Sibyll was calming producing a set of tarot cards to read for him. She looked up at Aberforth with a benign smile.

"Go ahead, Professor," she said. "I'll just be a moment in setting out my cards."

Dumbledore nodded, and went out into the hall with Aberforth. Aberforth closed the door, and looked at his brother. He was sure he had never seen that shocked expression on Albus's face before. He was staring ahead blankly, not looking anywhere near his brother. Aberforth waved his hand in front of Albus's face, and the professor brought his eyes around to meet his brother's.

"You needed something?"

"My God," Aberforth muttered. "What has she done to you?"

"She just – I believe she just made a real prophecy."

"What about?" Aberforth asked anxiously.

"She said – she predicted that the one with the power to vanquish Voldemort will be born this summer."

Aberforth's eyes widened. "She said that?"

"Yes."

"And you believe her?"

"If I had not seen it for myself, I would not," Albus replied.

"Well, then you should really know what just happened."

"What's happened?"

"I was coming down the hall to see if you and Madam Trelawney needed anything, and saw someone standing outside the door."

"Who was it?"

"I don't know," Aberforth confessed. "I had never seen him before. But he looked like he was listening – in fact, I'm _sure_ that he was listening. He probably saw you go in there, and thought that he'd better see what was going on."

"Where is he now?"

"Well, like I said, I saw him – and I know how much you value your privacy. So, I pulled him away from the door. But before we made it back to the main bar, he Disapparated."

"Do you think he heard the prophecy?"

"Most likely," Aberforth shrugged. He frowned. "Here's the odd part – he had some funny tattoo on his arm."

"What was it a tattoo of?"

"The Dark Mark."

"The Dark Mark?" Albus repeated, frowning. "That's odd. Why would he have that?"

Aberforth shrugged again. "I'm just telling you what I saw, that's all. What you make of it from there is up to you."

Albus frowned. "Well, if he had the Dark Mark on his arm, he is clearly working for Voldemort – although why he would have it is a mystery to me. Regardless, if he _did_ hear the prophecy, then he will take it back to his master."

"Most likely," Aberforth agreed.

"And if that happens, then Sibyll is in grave danger," Albus continued. "They will not rest until they learn the remainder of the prophecy. They will search for her, and torture her until she can remember it to tell them."

"Is there any way to help her?"

"I can protect her."

"How?"

Dumbledore looked thoughtful for a moment. "I'm going to offer her the Divination position."

"Are you insane?" Aberforth cried. "I'm more of a Seer than she is!"

"That may be true," Albus conceded. "However, the safest place that I can offer her to live is Hogwarts. And the only way to keep her there without arousing suspicions is to give her the position."

"But what of your students? Won't their education suffer?"

"You know how important my students are to me," Albus said. "I would never do anything to harm their education. Sibyll may not be the best Seer available, but she is very knowledgeable in all aspects of Divination. She may not be able to make them See, but she certainly will give them enough knowledge to pass their OWLs and NEWTs."

Aberforth shook his head. "I don't know, Albus. It still seems a bit off to me."

"Ah, Aberforth," Albus smiled, his eyes twinkling, "when have you ever known me to do things the way the rest of the world would?"

"Well, I suppose that's true."

He grinned. "Now, leave me. I believe I am going to make someone's day a little bit happier."

With that, Albus reentered the parlor, shutting the door behind him. Sibyll had arranged her tarot cards on the table, and looked up at the Headmaster with a smile.

"May I read your cards now, Professor?"

"That will not be necessary," Dumbledore replied. "Madam Trelawney, I believe that I have seen enough."

"Oh?" she asked, the nervousness that would have been unnecessary for a true Seer clouding her features.

"Yes," he said firmly. "I would like to offer you the position of Divination professor at Hogwarts. Additionally, I would like to off you a home in the castle."

Her eyes grew round. "Professor, it's more than I dared to hope for!"

"I take it you accept?" he asked, his eyes twinkling.

"Yes, of course! When shall I move in?"

He gave her a penetrating look. "I'd like for you to move in tonight."

"Tonight?" she asked, clearly shocked.

"If it isn't a problem?"

"No," she said quickly, thinking of her small, dingy flat. "It's not a problem at all."

* * *

Alone in his office, Professor Dumbledore placed his wand against his temple, extracting the memory he wanted. He held his wand over his pensieve, letting the memory replay itself. He watched as Sibyll Trelawney, the newest addition to his staff, appeared before his eyes.

"_THE ONE WITH THE POWER TO VANQUISH THE DARK LORD APPROACHES . . .BORN TO THOSE WHO HAVE THRICE DEFIED HIM, BORN AS THE SEVENTH MONTH DIES . . . AND THE DARK LORD WILL MARK HIM AS HIS EQUAL, BUT HE WILL HAVE POWER THE DARK LORD KNOWS NOT . . . AND EITHER MUST DIE AT THE HAND OF THE OTHER FOR NEITHER CAN LIVE WHILE THE OTHER SURVIVES . . . THE ONE WITH THE POWER TO VANQUISH THE DARK LORD WILL BE BORN AS THE SEVENTH MONTH DIES . . ."_

As the memory faded into the pensieve, Dumbledore stared into the open space where it had been swirling. He knew what the prophecy meant; he just did not know how it would be fulfilled.

"_Born to those who have thrice defied him_," he muttered to himself. He touched his wand to the surface of the pensieve again, searching for the right memory.

After a moment, Frank Longbottom was dancing before his eyes. _"Alice and I recently received some news that we have been waiting for for a long, long time. I'm not sure that everyone will be excited, given the current events of our world, but I hope you can all be happy for us as we look forward to the birth of our first baby this summer."_

Frank disappeared as others rushed into the memory of the Order Christmas party to congratulate the expectant father. Dumbledore moved his wand, and the memory returned to the pensieve. He touched it again, and Alice Longbottom appeared before him.

"_We can't believe it! We've wanted this for so long – after so many years, August doesn't seem all that far away_."

"August is the eighth month," Dumbledore argued. "It can't be them."

He touched his wand to the pensieve again, and James and Lily Potter appeared before his eyes.

"_We were surprised, that's for sure,_" _James said. _

"_James!" Lily laughed. "Professor Dumbledore doesn't need to know that!"_

"_What?" James asked. "It's true!"_

_Lily shook her head. "We are excited, though. Even if we didn't plan it, we can't wait to be parents."_

"_I don't know how we're going to wait until August," James stated. He kissed Lily's cheek, and she giggled. _

Dumbledore shook his head again as he let the memory drop back into the pensieve. "What other couples have defied Voldemort three times?" he muttered.

He began extracting memories. Sirius Black and Olivia Alexander appeared before him. He shook his head. They were no longer a couple, and they certainly weren't expecting a baby. Other Order members appeared, many of which were not couples, and none of which were pregnant.

Shaking his head, Dumbledore brought back the memories of the Longbottoms and the Potters.

"_August doesn't seem all that far away."_

"_I don't know how we're going to wait until August!"_

"Well, James," Dumbledore sighed, "maybe you won't have to."

His musings were interrupted as his office door banged open. He looked up, and saw Minerva McGonagall standing in his doorway.

"Professor McGonagall," he smiled. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"

"You know exactly what has brought me here." She slammed his door shut, and crossed the room with quick, purposeful strides. "I thought we had agreed that you weren't going to hire that woman!"

"No, you said that I wasn't," Dumbledore said calmly. "I never agreed."

"Dumbledore, you can't let her teach in this school! She has no more Divination ability than I do!"

"That is where you are wrong," Dumbledore said, still maintaining his calm demeanor. "Sit down, Professor."

McGonagall obediently sat down. "Do you mean to tell me that that woman is an actual, authentic Seer?"

"No, not exactly. But I do mean that I saw her make a prophecy."

McGonagall laughed. "One prophecy earned her a job teaching our students Divination?"

"This prophecy did, yes."

Dumbledore touched his pensieve, bringing the image of Trelawney's prediction to the surface. McGonagall sat back as the image began to spin before her eyes.

"_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches . . . Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies . . . And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not . . . And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives . . .The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies . . ."_

"And, that, Professor McGonagall, was enough to earn her the position," Dumbledore said as the image faded back into the pensieve.

"But I don't understand," McGonagall said shakily. "What does it all mean?"

"No more or less than what she said," Dumbledore said.

"And do you know who it refers to? Do you know whose baby will be born in July?"

"No, not exactly," Dumbledore replied. "There are two possibilities, but neither is due to be born until August."

"So you're relying on the fact that one of them will be born prematurely?"

"Yes."

"And do you intend to tell the parents?"

"Not until after the baby is born," Dumbledore replied. "Both sets of parents are anticipating their children's births with such joy – I will not be the one to bring them unnecessary worry. When the baby is born at the end of July, I will tell the parents."

"Are you sure that's wise?" McGonagall refrained from asking which parents were expecting this child. If Dumbledore wanted to reveal that information, he would tell her. If not, she would remain as in the dark as they would.

"The fewer people who know about this prophecy, the better. It is the easiest way to ensure Sibyll's safety. We will only have to wait a month at most to learn who this baby is – to learn which family will spend a lifetime fighting Voldemort."

"But, still," Professor McGonagall protested, "one actual prophecy, no matter how important, doesn't seem like a good enough reason to let her teach our students."

"It was overheard," Dumbledore said softly.

"What?"

"It was overheard by a spy for Voldemort."

"How do you know this?"

"Aberforth apprehended the spy. I don't know if this person was able to hear the entire prophecy, but even the first lines are vital."

"Yes . . ." Professor McGonagall frowned as everything fell together. "And so you hired Sibyll Trelawney to protect her from You-Know-Who?"

"Precisely."

McGonagall shook her head. "I hope this war ends soon. It's become too much when it starts dictating who can teach in our schools."

"Well, it will be quite some time," Dumbledore replied. "This baby must be born, and then must mature to the point of being strong enough to battle Voldemort – to battle him, and to come out the victor."

"That will be years!"

"Yes," Dumbledore said, a fire burning in his eyes, "and we must be ready to support this little one. We must help him to become strong enough to defeat this evil. We must teach him all that we can to ensure that he succeeds. We must help him, and we must make sure that he is ready to face the most difficult battle of his life."

* * *

"My Lord, I have news."

"Rise," Voldemort said as the spy fell to his knees before him. "What news have you brought?"

"I heard a prophecy this evening."

"About?"

"About you, my Lord."

Voldemort leaned forward. "Go on."

"It said – it said that the one with the power to vanquish you approaches."

Voldemort's eyebrows went up. "It did? Is that all?"

"No – it also said that he would be born as the seventh month dies, to parents who have thrice defied you."

"No more?" Voldemort asked, desperate for more information. How was it that these prophecies were always so vague?

"There was more, my Lord," the spy confessed. "However, I was discovered. I didn't get to hear the end."

"Very well," Voldemort said his annoyance clear. "What you have overheard will suffice for now. You may go."

"Thank you, my Lord."

Voldemort folded his fingers together, thinking. "Born to parents who have thrice defied me," he muttered. "Born as the seventh month dies. Who can that be?"

Despite his best efforts to reason through this puzzle, he knew he would never be able to realize the answer on his own. He touched the mark on his arm, summoning his followers. Within moments, they were assembled before him.

"My friends," he said softly. "We have a new mystery before us. It would appear that it has been prophesied that I will be defeated."

A murmur of disapproval and disbelief went through the group. Voldemort hissed, and his Death Eaters fell silent.

"Yes," he said slowly. "The prophecy said that this one who will defeat me will be born as the seventh month dies, to those who have thrice defied me . . . I am left wondering who that could be. Who could have thrice defied me? Who could be expecting a baby to be born in July?"

Peter stood in his place in the circle of Death Eaters, doing his best not to let his thoughts be too obvious. He couldn't let the Dark Lord know what was going through his mind. Thoughts of James and Lily consumed him. He fought the horrid images back. It couldn't be them – it just couldn't be! Their baby couldn't be this one that the prophecy described. But they had defied the Dark Lord so many times. He was sure they had defied him at least thrice. But would the baby be born in July? He thought back to the conversations he had had with them. When had Lily said she was due?

"_August fifth – and not a day sooner! James and I won't be ready before then!_"

As Lily's laughing face appeared in his mind, Peter felt relief wash over him. He fought back the urge to laugh in sheer joy. It wasn't them. They and the baby were safe.

"I must discover who this child is," Voldemort hissed. "The best way to deal with this situation is the rid ourselves of the problem. Once we discover who the potential parents are, we will kill them. There is no need for this baby to ever be born."

Peter shuddered. Lily and James were safe – but someone else was not. And what if the baby was born early?

No, it wouldn't be. Lily herself had said that it wouldn't be born before August fifth, and she should know better than anyone when her baby would be born. Peter relaxed again. They were safe. They would have their baby, and the three of them would form a wonderful, loving, safe family. No harm would come to them. They were safe.


	41. As the Seventh Month Dies

A/N: Before we start the chapter, credit must be given – one of my coworkers used Sirius's line about the baby coming out with furniture to describe the way another coworker looked while she was pregnant. She had it worse than Lily, though – it was over two months before this poor girl's due date!

Also, it was another coworker's wife that was the first to say the line that Lily screams as she's giving birth.

And without further ado, the chapter you've all been waiting for since Lily and James got married! I hope it lives up to your expectations!

Thanks for reading and reviewing! I hope you like this one!

I don't own Harry Potter.

As the Seventh Month Dies

_I feel that the love around me_  
_Has come from another world  
__I have lost love, I have found love  
__From the moment you were born  
__I could see a new beginning  
__Come to me  
__Let me tell you how  
__How I've lost love and how I've found love  
__In a world of broken dreams  
__-Cole's Song,_ Julian Lennon, _Mr. Holland's Opus_

"Tell me again why you wanted exactly you wanted to have a party within a week of the baby's due date?" James asked as he used his wand to set up picnic tables in the backyard.

"Because we won't have another chance for ages," Lily said, watching him work. "Aren't you excited to see everyone?"

"Wouldn't it be better to just have a party for Brenna after she's born?"

"I think we might be a bit busy to plan a party then," Lily said with a grin. "Besides, that's a week away."

James looked at his watch to check the date. "Lil, today is the thirtieth. Do you really think that the fifth of August is a week away anymore?"

"Yes," she said stubbornly. "It's exactly seven days."

James rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Lil."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Harry and I have already discussed this. He's not coming early!"

"But what if it's Brenna, and she's offended that you're calling her a boy's name and decides to come early just to spite you?"

Lily laughed. "No chance. I had the same conversation with Brenna."

James put down the last of the benches, and crossed to sit down next to Lily. "It's amazing that it's so close, isn't it?"

"It is," Lily agreed with a grin. "Can you believe it? James, we're going to be _parents_!"

"I know," he grinned. "I think I'm still trying to get used to the idea. I mean, who on earth would put me in charge of a child?"

Lily smiled, and took his hand in hers. "Don't question it. Just accept it, and love this baby with all you have."

"I already do. Just the fact that he's ours – yours and mine – is enough to make me love him forever."

Lily looked up at him, sure she had never loved him so much as she did at that moment. She leaned in closer to him, and kissed him gently. He pulled back and smiled at her.

"What was that for?"

"Because I love you."

He grinned. "I love you, too."

A crack split the air, ending their tender moment. They looked up to see Sirius standing in their yard.

"Hey, Potters," he grinned.

James got up and crossed to shake his hand. "Hey, Padfoot. How's everything going?"

"Oh, you know," Sirius shrugged. "Same old, same old. Oh, by the way, we need to talk."

"About what?"

"Well, you know how Remus, Peter and I had said that we'd take you out for a drink when you officially become a father?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, we have to change that plan."

"Why? Have you given up drinking?"

"No, I've just given up the Three Broomsticks."

Lily laughed as she crossed to join them. "Don't tell me that you're afraid you'll run into Rebecca there."

"You know it," Sirius grinned. He leaned down to kiss her cheek, then rubbed his hand affectionately over her stomach. "How's my little nephew?"

"Fine," Lily smiled. "Only one more week to go."

Sirius looked at her critically. "Are you sure it's a week?"

"_Yes_," Lily said forcefully.

"Touchy," Sirius grinned. "Why the determination to have an August baby?"

"Because that's when he's due," Lily replied. "I don't want him to come early. What if he's not developed enough to survive?"

Sirius let his eyes roam up and down her body. "Believe me, Lils, he's ready."

She narrowed her eyes. "Sirius," she began.

He laughed, and hugged her. "I'm just teasing, Little Flower. You look gorgeous."

"No, I don't," she grinned. "I look awful. But thanks for saying that anyway."

A rapid succession of cracks and pops filled the yard as their other friends arrived. Sirius's eyes narrowed as Olivia and Greg arrived together; he quickly let all the emotion slide off his face as he greeted them. Watching him, James shook his head.

"Why the head shake?" Remus asked as he came forward to say hello to James.

"Sirius," James said. "He's become an expert at hiding his emotions, hasn't he?"

"Isn't that something that Aurors are supposed to specialize in?"

"Yeah, but he's a little _too_ good at it."

"Too good at what?" Peter asked as he joined them.

"James thinks Sirius has become too good at hiding his emotions," Remus said.

"But Aurors have to be able to hide their emotions," Peter replied with a frown. "You know that, James."

"Yes, I know that," James said. "I grew up with an Auror, remember? But they're supposed to hide their emotions at work and on the battlefield, not with their friends. _We're_ allowed to know what he's thinking."

"But _she_ isn't," Remus said quietly.

"He'll never let Olivia know what he's thinking, James," Peter said softly. "And she's the same way. They'll go through the rest of their lives as partners and friends, neither ever letting the other beyond the surface."

James shook his head. "I'm through with the two of them. Whatever they do with their lives is their business, not mine. As long as they don't tear us apart as friends, I'm happy with their decisions."

"Very supportive," Peter said appreciatively.

James nodded. "Now I just have to convince Lily that it's the right approach."

Remus looked around for Lily; she was seated at one of the tables with Laura. They were talking quietly, laughing over something. "She looks content," he commented.

"She is," James said. "She's terribly uncomfortable, but she's happy. She's been counting the days for the past two months."

Peter grinned. "Are you guys ready to become parents?"

"Well, we don't have a choice," James grinned. "Even if we're not, we only have a week left. Either way, it's going to happen."

"You don't sound ready," Remus laughed.

James shrugged. "What can I say? There's no way to study for this one. What happens, happens. I'm just going to take it one day at a time."

Peter laughed. "According to my mum, it's more like one moment at a time with kids."

"That, then," James grinned. He turned to Remus. "How's Laura doing?"

"Better, I think," Remus said. He smiled sadly. "She doesn't want me to worry, so I think she tends to hide how she feels from me. But she seems like she has more energy since she's been on all those medications her doctor prescribed her." He paused. "I want to thank you, James, for helping us get in with Dr. Hayward. Laura just loves him and Danny, and she's sure that they're going to be the ones to make her better."

"Hey, you don't have to thank me," James said earnestly. "It was the least I could do. I'm just so glad I was able to help. I wish there was something more I could do for her."

Remus smiled sadly again. "You can pray for her," he said quietly.

"I already do," James said softly. "And for you, too."

"Thanks," Remus replied, his voice just above a whisper.

"Hi, James!"

The moment was broken as Olivia and Greg came over to say hello. James looked at Remus for another instant, then turned his attention to his other friends.

"Hey," he grinned. "I'm so glad you both could make it."

Olivia grinned, and released Greg's hand, allowing her to hug James. "As if I'd miss a party," she grinned.

"True," James smiled. "But, Greg, I must give you credit. Clearly we didn't scare you off at Sirius's party. You're a tough man."

Greg grinned. "I survived Hogwarts when you and Sirius were throwing hexes around at people for breathing too loudly. This has been easy by comparison."

James laughed. "Ah, you remember my younger days."

"Who could forget?" Peter laughed. "You and Sirius were unstoppable back then."

Remus shook his head. "As I'm sure I said back then, please try _not_ to inflate James's ego any more than it already is!"

James laughed, and shook his own head. "Don't you think I've changed since then?"

"Well . . ." Remus and Peter exchanged a glance and a grin.

"Oh, come on, guys," Olivia laughed. "James has definitely changed since back then. During his darker days, Lily wouldn't have anything to do with him, but now she's having his child. That alone must say something for his character."

"Or for hers," Peter grinned.

"They've both changed," Remus stated. "And it's been for the better on both sides."

Two new cracks announced the arrival of Dana and Aidan. James looked over at them, and then back at those around him.

"I'm going to go say hello to Dana and Aidan," he said. "We'll have the food out in a minute, so don't start to panic."

Sirius laughed. "Why do I feel like that was directed at me?"

"I can't think of any reason," James laughed as he left them.

Sirius smiled, and looked around the yard, deliberately avoiding looking at Olivia and Greg. His eyes fell on Lily, and he grinned.

"Okay, everyone, informal survey," he said. "Lily says she's not having that baby for a week. Am I the only one who thinks it's going to come early?"

"What are you basing that guess on?" Remus asked with a grin.

"Oh, come on!" Sirius laughed. "Just look at her! If this takes much longer, that kid's going to come out with furniture!"

"Sirius!" Olivia exclaimed, trying to stop herself from laughing. "That's terrible!"

"It's true," Sirius said with a grin.

"You're awful," Olivia laughed. "Poor Lily. The girl's in enough misery without you adding to it."

"I'd never tell her something like that," Sirius said earnestly.

"Well, as long as you have standards," Remus grinned.

Sirius laughed. "I'm going to go over and talk to her right now."

"Sirius, you're not going to . . ." Olivia trailed off uncertainly.

"Of course not! I'm just going to see how she's doing."

With that, he set off across the yard. He grinned as he approached Lily and Laura, and leaned down to kiss Laura's forehead.

"How are my two favorite ladies?"

Lily smiled tolerantly. "Sirius, I have a feeling that we are far from your favorite ladies."

"Untrue," he said as he sat down. "You are both very high on my list of favorites."

"I'm honored," Laura said with a smile, rolling her eyes.

Sirius looked at her with concern. "How are you feeling, love?"

"Better," she said firmly. "Dr. Hayward and Danny have been wonderful. I'm not sure what exactly it is that they've given me, but it has helped."

"Good," Sirius said, obviously relieved. "You had me worried for a little while there."

"I think I had _everyone_ worried – myself included," Laura replied.

"How have you been, Sirius?" Lily asked.

"Oh, fine," Sirius replied, waving his hand. "You know me – just working and fighting evil."

Laura giggled. "So modest, this one."

Lily heaved an exaggerated sigh. "He's been like this for as long as I've known him."

"And you've loved me just as long," Sirius replied with a cheeky grin.

"Sure," Lily laughed. "We'll call it love if that'll make you feel better."

Sirius looked at Laura. "Have you noticed that she's become harsher since she's been pregnant?" He rubbed Lily's stomach. "Hurry up, kiddo! I can't handle much more of your mum's pregnant attitude!"

"Stop encouraging him," Lily laughed, brushing his hands away from her. "You know I don't want him to come early."

"I don't think you have much of a say in it," Sirius grinned. "You have to learn to let your children make their own decisions, Lil."

"Children?" Lily repeated. "Last time I checked, I was only having one."

"You don't want more?"

"Isn't it a bit early to make that decision?"

Dana and Aidan came over, holding hands and grinning. Dana released his hand when they reached their friends, and pulled the girls into hugs.

"Hi, Mum!" she grinned as she hugged Lily.

Lily grinned. "Hey, yourself." She looked at Dana critically. "How's the pregnancy coming?"

"Not yet," Dana sighed. "But we haven't been trying that long. It'll happen when it should happen."

Laura nodded silently, thinking of how fortunate it was that she was not pregnant. With her current condition and the very strong medications that had become part of her day, she was sure her body would never have been able to sustain the life of a baby. As much as she had wished for a baby for so long, she now realized that it was for the best that she wasn't pregnant. And this current state wasn't forever. As soon as she was better, she and Remus would have their baby.

James came around with a tray of drinks floating before him. He grinned as he approached.

"All right, everyone grab a drink." He gave them a wink. "In honor of our young mothers, we're serving entirely alcohol-free drinks today."

"I'm not pregnant yet," Dana protested with a smile.

"You're close enough. I don't know how long this stuff stays in your system," James grinned. "I don't want your child to have some horrible developmental disability because of something you drank while you were at my party."

Dana laughed, and took the lemonade. "Thanks for your concern, James."

He winked at her again, and gave drinks to Laura, Sirius and Aidan. Taking the last glass for himself, he banished the tray into the house.

"All right, everyone I just wanted to say a few words before we begin eating," he said loudly.

Sirius raised his eyebrows, and looked at Aidan. "Does he think he's Dumbledore now?"

"No," Aidan said, his face completely serious, "Dumbledore likes to keep the pre-dinner speeches _short_."

Sirius snorted with laughter. James looked at him, and Sirius struggled to stop laughing.

"I just wanted thank all of you for coming today," James said. "This is the last chance Lily and I are going to have to host a party for awhile, and we're happy that you all could make it.

"We have so much to celebrate. We've all had a difficult few months for various reasons, but we've all been there for one another, and we've all made it through to the other side." He smiled. "To be perfectly honest, I don't know if I could have made it through everything that's happened without all of you. So, thank you for being there for us in the past, and for all the support you will give us in the future." He paused, and a mischievous sparkle shone in his eyes. "And that support will be in the form of babysitting. Mum and Dad are going to need the occasional night out!"

Everyone laughed with him. Although they realized how much he meant his gratitude, they also knew that he was trying not to be too serious. It was this balance of sincerity and humor that made up James's character, and they were all familiar with it.

"And now, please raise your glasses with me," James said, holding up his own glass. "Let's drink to friendship – the unconditional loyalty and love we all have for one another."

* * *

"Well, that went fantastically," James said once everyone had gone. "It was a good idea, Lil. I'm glad you wanted to do it."

"So am I," she said, grimacing. "I just wish I had thought of doing it _before_ I got to be as big as this house."

"You're beautiful," James smiled, continuing to massage her tired feet.

She let her head fall back against the pillows on the couch. "And you're a liar."

"Lils, you will always be gorgeous to me."

She raised her head to smile at him, then grimaced again.

"Sorry," James said quickly. "I think that was a pressure point. Too much?"

"Yeah," Lily said, letting her head drop again. "That actually hurt all the way up to my abdomen!"

"I'm sorry," James said again. He leaned forward to kiss her. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's all right," Lily smiled against his lips. She kissed him again. "Thank you for trying to help me."

"I guess _trying_ is the operative word," James laughed. "Do you want me to keep going?"

"No, that's all right," Lily said, swinging her legs around so that she could stand. "I'm really exhausted. I think I just want to sleep. Can we clean up tomorrow?"

"Sure," James said easily. "I'm always up for delaying the cleaning process."

"You know, that procrastination is going to come back to bite you sometime," Lily said. She stretched out her back, making a face as she realized exactly how tense she was. "You can't always put everything off till the last minute."

"It's worked for me so far," James replied with a cheeky grin. He held out his hand to her. "Come on. Let's go up to bed."

She looked at him warily. "What do you mean by that?"

"That we need sleep," James said innocently.

She gave him a look that said that she didn't believe him. "James, I really can't handle the thought of anything other than sleep right now."

He reached out to run his palm over her cheek. "And that's all you're going to do, love. Come on. We need to get this mummy to bed."

She smiled, and let him help her up the stairs. She got ready for bed as though in a daze, and dropped herself down onto the soft surface.

"Feel better?" James asked, looking down at her.

"Yes," she said. She gave him a sleepy smile. "Good night, James."

"Good night," he said, leaning down to kiss her lips. "I love you."

Her eyes remained closed after their kiss, but she smiled. "I love you, too."

* * *

"_Harry! Harry, wake up, darling! It's already eight thirty!"_

_Lily stepped back from the bed to watch as her little boy struggled to open his eyes, rubbing them sleepily. She smiled as he finally opened them, looking up at her with green eyes that looked strikingly like her own._

"_Good morning, Mummy!" He bounced out of bed. "Today's the day, isn't it?"_

"_Yes, sweetheart," she said, reaching over to smooth down his hair. "Today's the day you go to Hogwarts. It's September first."_

_His hair sprang back up just like James's did when he tried to get it to lie flat. "I'm going to like it, aren't I?"_

"_Of course!" she exclaimed. "You'll love it."_

"_Where's Dad?"_

"_He's putting your trunk in the car," she said. "You get washed and dressed, and I'll go make breakfast. What would you like for your last breakfast before school starts?"_

"_Fried eggs," he said firmly. _

_She nodded, and smiled. "All right. Let's race, and see if I can have breakfast ready before you're downstairs."_

"_All right," Harry agreed with a grin. "GO!"_

_Lily smiled again, and rushed out of her son's bedroom. She started to run down the stairs, but tripped. She toppled over herself as she fell, slamming her stomach against the edge of one of the stairs._

"Ouch!"

Lily jerked awake. What had happened to jar her out of the dream about her son's first day of school? The dream had been so real – her abdomen actually hurt where she had hit it against the step. She massaged her stomach, and let the memory of the dream wash over her. She wanted to hold onto the details. She wanted to remember her son.

She knew now that she would have a little boy in a week's time. That dream had changed her mind completely. She wasn't going to have a daughter – she didn't even want this baby to be a girl. She wanted her little Harry – the little boy who had smiled at her so sweetly in the dream.

"Lily? Are you all right?" James asked sleepily.

"Yeah, fine," she said. She ran her hand over her face, and realized that she was perspiring. "I just had an odd dream, that's all."

"Odd good or odd bad?" James asked, beginning to come to full wakefulness.

"Odd good," she said. "It was about –"

Her words stopped as an intense pain gripped her abdomen. She gasped, and grabbed the sheets as the pain grew stronger.

"Lil!" James exclaimed, sitting up in bed. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know!" she cried. Her hands released the sheets as the pain eased. She again massaged her abdomen.

"What's wrong? What just happened?" James asked. He took her hand. "You're shaking. How do you feel? Is something wrong with the baby?"

"The baby," she murmured. She ran her free hand over her face, and gasped. "James!" she cried. "James, the baby – James, I'm in _labor_!"

"What?" James exclaimed. "But, Lily, it's too early!"

"You try telling Harry that!" she cried. "This is it, James!"

"All right," James said, running his hand through his hair. "All right, we can do this. Come on. We need to get you to St. Mungo's."

"We can't go like this," Lily said, gesturing to her sleepwear of shorts and a huge t-shirt. "You're wearing your boxers, for goodness' sake! We need to get dressed."

"Do we have time?" James asked pointedly.

"Yeah, we have time," Lily said. "We just need to hurry, that's all."

After throwing on their clothes, James grabbed the overnight bag that Lily had packed in anticipation of her trip to the hospital. He picked up the emergency Portkey that Lily's Healer had given them, and took it back to Lily, who was sitting on the bed, breathing deeply in an effort to keep herself calm.

"Here, touch this," he said, holding it out to her.

As soon as they both had their fingers touching the Portkey, James tapped it with his wand. Within seconds, they were being transported to the maternity ward of St. Mungo's.

* * *

A Healer met them as they slammed into the ward. James reached out instinctively to keep Lily on her feet.

"Can I help you?" the Healer asked.

"I'm in labor," Lily said.

"Okay," the other woman said calmly. She smiled as she pulled a wheelchair forward for Lily to sit in. "Who is your Healer?"

"Healer Lewis."

"And your name?"

"Lily Potter."

"Okay, Mrs. Potter" the Healer said with a smile. "I'll let Healer Lewis know that you're here, and he'll be up to help you. While we're waiting for him, let's get you into a room. We want to make sure that you're comfortable."

Lily nodded, and followed the woman out of the waiting room. James hurried after them, still carrying Lily's overnight bag.

In a matter of minutes, Lily had been assigned a private room. She smiled, realizing that the Potter name still commanded respect, even when carried by Harold Potter's daughter-in-law. Now wearing the hospital's nightgown, she laid back against the pillows on her bed. Really, this wasn't so bad.

"Are you all right?" James asked, looking every bit a nervous wreck.

"I'm fine now," Lily replied. She frowned slightly. "You don't think this was a false alarm, do you? I've heard of women thinking they're in labor only to discover that they're not."

"Really?" James asked.

"Yeah, it's supposed to be really weird."

"And do you think this is that?"

"I hope not. I'd hate to have had everyone go to all this trouble just to discover that I'm not really having a baby tonight."

"It's all right, darling," James smiled. "Even if it's not tonight, at least we've learned what to do when you really do have the baby."

She opened her mouth to reply, but the words died in her throat as her face contorted. She gasped as another pain gripped her abdomen.

Alone with her, James had no idea what to do to help his wife. He took her hand in his.

"Just squeeze my hand, love," he suggested.

He regretted his offer as Lily gripped his hand as though trying to squeeze the life out of it. She moaned, and pressed harder on James's hand, wishing the pain would just end. Then she felt a warm, wet sensation.

"Oh, God," she moaned.

"What's wrong?" James asked, panic close to setting in.

"My water just broke," she moaned. "This is the real thing, James. We're having this baby tonight."

"Should I go get someone?" he asked.

"No, Healer Lewis will be here in a minute," Lily said. She dropped her head back. "What day is it?"

"What?"

"What's the date? What's Harry's birthday going to be?"

James looked at his watch. It was nearly five in the morning. "July thirty-first," he said.

Lily nodded. "All right. So I don't get my August baby."

James grinned. "Close enough, I suppose." He crossed the room, and began looking through the bag they had brought.

"What are you looking for?" Lily asked.

"This," James said, holding up his mirror. "I want to tell Sirius to get my mum here. She's going to want to be on hand for this."

"Definitely," Lily grinned. "Grandma needs to be here to welcome Harry."

James smiled. "You seem pretty sure it's a boy."

"It is," Lily said stubbornly.

"What happened to Brenna?"

Lily shook her head. "This one is Harry."

James grinned. "Well, the next one can be Brenna, then."

Another contraction took over, and Lily grabbed the sheets to fight against the pain. "James Potter, I swear to God, if you ever mention another baby around me again, I will hex you into the next century!"

Healer Lewis walked into the room in time to hear Lily's tirade. He looked from her to James, who looked stricken. He grinned.

"Well, we're certainly off to a good start," he said cheerfully. "James, I wouldn't take it too personally. Believe me, every mother I've seen in here is threatening her husband with bodily harm before the delivery is over. I have a feeling that's not the last time she'll verbally attack you before it's all over."

Lily laid back as the pain ended, and groaned, covering her face with her hands. "I'm sorry, James," she sighed.

"It's all right, love. I'm just going to go outside to talk to Sirius, all right?"

"Go," she said, waving her hand toward the door.

"I'll examine her while you're gone," Healer Lewis said. "I'll give you a full report when you get back."

James nodded. He kissed Lily's forehead, then walked out into the corridor, shutting the door behind him.

"Sirius Black!"

After a moment, a very groggy Sirius appeared in the mirror. He frowned.

"James, what the bloody hell could be so wrong that you have to wake me up before bloody six in the bloody morning?"

"Overuse of 'bloody,'" James grinned. "Hey, look, I need your help."

"What's going on?" Sirius asked, quickly becoming more alert.

"Lily's in labor," James said without further preamble. "We're in St. Mungo's right now."

"I'm on my way," Sirius said instantly. A grin lit his face. "This is brilliant! I knew she wouldn't make it another week!"

"Wait, listen," James said. "I want you to get my mum over here."

"Sure," Sirius said easily. "Should I tell the others, too?"

"They'll probably want to be here," James agreed.

"I'll let them know."

"Make sure you get my mum here," James warned.

"I'll go to the manse first," Sirius promised. "See you soon!"

James watched as his friend's face disappeared, and heaved a sigh of relief. He was so thankful that he wouldn't have to go through this on his own.

As he turned to go back into Lily's room, he noticed Frank Longbottom coming down the hall. He raised his eyebrows. Alice wasn't due until August. Was their baby early, too?

"Frank?" he asked.

Frank jumped. As he recognized James, a grin spread across his face. "Hi, James! What are you doing here?"

"Lily's in labor," James said with a tense smile.

"It'll be over soon," Frank said. "And when it is –"

"Did Alice have the baby?" James interrupted.

"About an hour ago," Frank grinned. "You should see him, James. He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

James grinned. "That's brilliant, Frank. What's his name?"

Frank laughed. "We're still debating. I'll get back to you on that one."

"Well, congratulations," James smiled. "And tell Alice the same."

"I will," Frank promised. "You're going to make it, James. Lily's a tough one. She'll come through this just fine."

James nodded. "I know she can do it."

"Of course she can." Frank squeezed his shoulder. "Get back in there to her. I'll see you soon."

"Right," James agreed. "Have fun with that baby."

"I will," Frank grinned. "I never realized how much my parents love me until now. I've never loved anyone as much as I love that little boy."

* * *

Time seemed to be playing tricks on James. At times it was as though he had entered warp speed, followed by periods when the seconds crawled by. Lily showed him exactly how strong she was as she fought to remain calm through the pain that tore across her abdomen. He had never been so proud of her.

They had been in the hospital for less than an hour when Mrs. Potter walked into the room. James grinned as he saw her enter.

"Hi, Mum," he smiled. "I was worried you wouldn't make it."

"There's no way I would miss this," she smiled. She leaned down to kiss Lily's forehead. "How are you, darling?"

"Holding on," she replied.

Mrs. Potter nodded. "That's all that you can do. I'm sure it won't be long now."

"She's going to be holding on for a little while," Healer Lewis said. "We've still got a way to go before she's fully dilated."

Lily groaned. "This is the most miserable thing I've ever done."

"But it will have the most wonderful outcome," Mrs. Potter smiled. "James and I are here with you, darling, and your friends are on their way. We're all here to support you."

"I don't want everyone in here with me!" Lily exclaimed, panic reflected in her eyes.

"They'll wait in the waiting room," Mrs. Potter said. "They just want to be here to welcome your little baby."

Lily smiled. "I want Harry to meet them, too."

* * *

"Tell me again why you dragged us all out of bed to be here?" Peter asked, sliding down against the back of his chair.

"James and Lily need us," Sirius said briskly. "Besides, don't you want to be here to welcome Baby Potter?"

Peter merely shook his head as though in disbelief. "I've heard that labor can take forever," was all he said.

He didn't tell his friends that he hoped that Lily's labor would take at least twenty-four hours. He didn't tell them of his fear that James's baby would be born soon. He didn't even want to think about the consequences if this child was born on the last day of July – _as the seventh month dies_.

"This could take awhile," Remus agreed, stretching out. "I'm going to go get some coffee. Does anyone want some?"

"Of course," Laura said quickly. "I can't believe _you_ do, though."

"What can I say?" Remus shrugged. "Sometimes you need a little jumpstart."

"I'll go with you, Remus," Olivia said, standing up. "I think you're going to need the extra hands to carry all these cups back. Can we tempt anyone else?"

In the end, they were dispatched for coffee for all seven members of the group in the waiting room. They hurried to the cafeteria, both concerned that they would miss something if they were gone too long.

"Do you really think it's going to take awhile?" Olivia asked as they turned the corner.

"Who knows?" Remus replied. "Most babies take their sweet time, though. For Lily's sake, I hope it's over quickly."

Olivia shuddered. "I can't even imagine."

"You don't want to have children?" Remus teased.

"Oh, I do – someday," Olivia replied as they reached the cafeteria. "I'm just hoping that the pain isn't as bad as everyone says."

Remus laughed, and held the cafeteria door open for her. "I wish you luck with that."

They ordered and received their coffee quickly, and began their journey back to the waiting room. They walked considerably slower this time, trying not to spill the coffee that they were levitating ahead of them. When they arrived, their friends jumped to grab their respective beverages.

"Enjoy," Olivia said with a grin.

Sirius took a sip of his coffee, then looked at his watch. He glanced at the door that led to the delivery rooms. "I wish there was some way of knowing what's going on in there."

Dana nodded her agreement, and took a sip of her own coffee. Then she gasped, and put her cup down on the table next to her.

"Did you burn yourself?" Aidan asked with concern.

"No – but I think I can find out what's going on in there!"

Remus's eyes lit up. "Do you have your identification with you?"

Dana nodded, and pulled her student Healer badge out of her purse. She attached it to her robes, and stood up. "I'll go see how Lily is and come right back. I'll be quick."

* * *

"You're doing great, Lil!"

Lily fell back against her pillows as the most recent contraction ended. "How about you take the next one, James?"

He smiled. "I'd do it for you if I could."

She groaned, and dropped her head back. "What time is it?"

James looked at his watch. "Almost noon."

"Noon," Lily sighed. "I've been here for seven hours! Won't this ever end?"

"You're doing just fine," Healer Lewis smiled. "By the end of the day, you'll be holding your new baby."

"We're a long way from the end of the day," Lily said.

"You'll make it," the Healer smiled.

"Oh!" Lily lunged forward again as another pain attacked her.

James grabbed her hand. "Hang on, Lil!"

"Seriously, James, if you ever want to have another child, _you_ get to be the one to go through this!" she screamed.

Dana slipped into the room in time to hear Lily screaming at James. She giggled.

"I take it it's going well?"

"Dana," Lily gasped as she fell back on the bed. "What are you doing here?"

"I was sent in to check up on you," she said. She crossed the room to stand closer to her friend. "So, how are you?"

"Miserable," Lily replied honestly. "If I ever hear anyone say that childbirth is easy, I will be glad to set them straight."

Dana smiled, and smoothed a strand of Lily's hair back from her face. "You just hold on, all right? We're all here for you."

"Who is 'all?'"

"Aidan and I, Remus and Laura, Sirius, Olivia, and Peter."

"The whole gang made it for this event."

"Of course," Dana smiled. "We weren't about to miss it."

Lily smiled. "Thanks, Dana, for being here for me. And tell everyone else thank you, too."

"I will," Dana smiled. She leaned down to kiss Lily's forehead. "You be strong, love. We'll all be in the waiting room if you need us."

* * *

The day crawled past for the group in the waiting room. They all had called off work in the hopes that they would spend their day playing with James and Lily's newborn child. Instead, they spent the day in the hospital waiting room, trying to find ways to occupy their time. Dana was sent to get hourly updates, all of which were the same: She was getting closer, but the baby had not been born yet.

As he watched the minutes tick by, Peter grew more hopeful. Maybe the baby would be born in August, after all. Maybe he wouldn't have to worry. Maybe this baby would not be marked for a horrific death at the moment of his birth.

* * *

"What time is it now?" Lily gasped.

"Ten thirty," James said through clenched teeth.

He massaged the hand that Lily had just released. As the pain of her contractions increased, so too did the amount of bone crushing pressure that she put on his hand.

"Did I hurt you?" she asked.

"No, I'm fine," James said, flexing his fingers. "I can still move them all."

Lily made a face at him, then grabbed his hand again as another contraction ripped through her.

"I think we're almost there," Healer Lewis said excitedly. "Lily, I need you to start pushing."

"Are you serious?" she asked. She had been begging him to let her push for hours. She was sure it would speed up the process.

"Yes," he said. "It might take awhile, so don't expect instant baby, all right?"

"All right," she said.

Lily began to push with tears in her eyes. Would this never end? After three pushes, the Healer gasped.

"Well, that might just be the quickest I've ever seen a first baby crown," he said in wonder. "All right, Lily, this is it. One more push, and we should have your baby out."

"I don't think I can," she sobbed. "Please, don't make me do this anymore."

"Come on, Lil!" James exclaimed. "We're almost there!"

"James, I can't," she sobbed.

"Yes, you can," he said. He kissed her forehead. "Lily, you are the strongest woman I know. You have fought in horrible battles, and cheated death more times than I want to think about. Use that strength again for me now."

"All right," she said. She struggled to sit up straighter. "Let's do this."

"Start pushing!"

Lily screamed in pain.

"You're doing great, love," James said encouragingly.

"GET HARRY OUT!" Lily screamed. "GET HIM OUT!"

"And here he is!" Healer Lewis exclaimed jubilantly. "You were right, Lily – you have a little boy!"

Lily began to sob again as the Healer put her baby in her arms for the first time. She touched him with shaking fingers, and let her tears fall onto his head.

"Look at you," she sobbed. "Hi, sweetheart. I'm your mummy."

James felt his own tears falling as he reached out a shaking hand to touch his son. "Hey, buddy," he said softly. "You gave Mum a hard time of it." He looked from the baby to Lily. "You were brilliant, Lil. Absolutely brilliant."

"Oh, James," she sighed.

"I love you," he said. He kissed her gently. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too," she said as more tears fell.

"And I love you," James said, running his hand over the baby's head. "You're brilliant, too, my little one."

"Okay, just let me go clean him up a bit, and then he's all yours," Healer Lewis said taking the baby from Lily.

"Oh, no!" she exclaimed. "I want to hold my baby!"

"I'll give him back to you in a minute," the Healer promised as he carried the small baby away from his beaming parents.

Mrs. Potter stepped over to watch as the Healer cleaned her first grandchild. James hugged Lily again.

"Lily, I know I've said it before, but after watching you do that, you truly are the strongest woman I know."

Lily smiled. "I'm so tired, James."

"I know, love," he smiled. "You're going to have plenty of time to sleep."

Healer Lewis brought the baby back, putting him into Lily's arms. "He's in perfect physical condition," he said. "You have one very healthy baby there."

Lily beamed at the Healer. "Thank you," she said. "I could never have done this alone."

"It was my pleasure," he smiled.

Lily looked from him to her baby. He was lying quietly in her arms, his tiny eyes blinking at the bright light of the hospital room. Lily felt tears press against her eyes again as she looked at him.

"Hi, Harry," she smiled. She looked at him critically, trying to decide who he resembled. It wasn't really difficult to see the similarities between her son and her husband. "You look so much like Daddy. Do you want to say hello to him?"

James looked at her in surprise. "You want me to hold him?"

"Of course," Lily giggled. "He's your son."

"All right, then," he said nervously.

"Just don't drop him," Lily said as she passed the baby to his father.

James took the baby in his arms, and looked down at the tiny squirming bundle. He swallowed hard, feeling the tears well up in his eyes.

"Hi, Harry," he whispered. "Welcome to our world." He studied him intently. "He has your eyes."

"All babies have blue eyes," Lily argued. "Mine are green."

"Yeah, but the shape – they're exactly like yours."

Lily smiled. "Well, I guess we can be sure that I'm his mother, then."

Mrs. Potter stepped closer to her son, and looked down at the baby in his arms. James smiled, and offered him to her.

"Here, Mum, hold him," he said.

Mrs. Potter took the baby with tears shining in her eyes. "You're calling him Harry?" she asked hoarsely.

James nodded. "We decided that ages ago. He's Harry James Potter."

Mrs. Potter smiled, and kissed the top of his head. "Well, Harry James Potter, I'm your grandma. And I have to say, you look almost exactly like your daddy did the day he was born."

"Really?" James asked.

"Really," Mrs. Potter replied. "It's actually a little bit scary." She kissed the baby's head. "But don't worry. I love you so much, little one. You'll never scare me."

James smiled. "Do you feel up to some visitors, Lil?"

Lily smiled, thinking of how excited her friends would be to know that she had a son. "Yes. Bring them in."

James smiled, and ducked out of the room. Mrs. Potter sat down next to Lily's bed, and they exclaimed over the baby together.

Within moments, their friends were making their way into the room. Laura and Dana were the first to ask to hold the baby. They exclaimed over his tiny fingers and nose, and his hair that stuck up just like his father's. Sirius took him next. Lily was amazed to see the tough Auror cooing over the tiny baby.

"You are just the sweetest thing," he smiled, cuddling him close. "Look at how tiny you are! I expected you to be bigger."

"Why?" James laughed.

Sirius shrugged. "I've never seen a newborn before." He kissed the baby's head. "All right, Harry, let's let Uncle Remus hold you next."

Remus took the baby with an expression of sheer joy. He held him close, looking at him silently. After a moment, as his eyes welled with tears, he passed him to Aidan.

Aidan held the baby for a moment, trying to get the feel for it, knowing that his own turn at being a father would come soon enough. After a moment, he passed the baby to Olivia. After introducing herself, she gave him back to Lily.

"Wait," Lily said. "Peter, you didn't get a turn. Do you want to hold Harry?"

Peter hesitated a moment, then came forward. He looked at the clock as he took the baby, noting that it was after midnight.

"What is his birthday?" he asked.

"July thirty-first," James said. "He only made it by about forty minutes, but it's enough."

"July thirty-first," Peter repeated softly. He looked down at the tiny, defenseless baby in his arms, thinking of the outstanding trials that were in store for him. Peter swallowed hard. He had never been more afraid.


	42. The Hardest Conversation

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I'm glad to see that most of you were pleased with Harry's birth! Believe me, I was a nervous wreck writing it. I think it's one event that everyone has a specific image of in their minds – it was a lot of pressure to present my version!

Thanks again for reading and reviewing! Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates it!

I don't own Harry Potter.

The Hardest Conversation

_You will understand in time  
__- Masquerade, The Phantom of the Opera_

Dumbledore opened the August first issue of the Daily Prophet with trembling fingers. This was it. This was the last day he would need to read the birth announcements with fear in his heart.

He took a steadying breath. He would read the announcements, see that neither the Potter nor the Longbottom baby had been born, and then he could relax. After today, he would know that both babies would be born in August. The mystery of the identity of the "one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord" would remain, but that could be solved in time. Right now, the Potters and the Longbottoms were his main concern.

He turned the pages until he found the birth announcements. He skimmed quickly, only reading last names.

His heart sank as he saw the first one. Neville Longbottom had been born on the last day of July.

"_Born as the seventh month dies_," he muttered to himself. "I suppose that the last day of the month certainly qualifies for that distinction." He sighed. "I need to talk to Frank and Alice. Neville is in a great deal of danger."

He was about to close his paper when another birth announcement caught his attention. Harry Potter, too, had been born on the thirty-first.

He had to read the announcement three times before he could acknowledge it. How could it be? How could the two little boys share their birthday? Only one would possess the power to triumph over Voldemort.

"Both of them," he whispered. "But how . . ." His voice trailed off as he remembered the last part of the prophecy. "_And he will mark him as his equal_," he muttered.

Voldemort would attack the baby he believed to be a threat. He would choose the child who he felt to be, as the prophecy had said, his equal.

Dumbledore pressed his fingertips against his temples. The Longbottoms and the Potters were in more trouble than he could have dreamed. He had to warn them.

"I'll give them some time with their babies first," he said to himself. "They need to have time to enjoy being new parents."

He nodded, but the worried look did not leave his eyes. They had to know what they were facing – and soon. He looked at the calendar on his desk.

"I have to tell them soon," he muttered. "This can't wait too much longer. They have to know what they're facing – they have to be prepared to defend their children."

* * *

"Lily, he really is the sweetest thing I've ever seen."

Lily smiled as she looked at Olivia, who was hanging over the side of Harry's hospital basinet, making faces in an attempt to amuse him. Lily and Harry were going home shortly; Olivia had come to help Lily pack. She had yet to do any packing, however. She had spent all her time playing with the baby.

"Thanks, Liv," Lily replied. "He's a sweetie."

"I can't get over how much he looks like James," Olivia continued.

"His mother said that Harry looks almost exactly like James did when he was a baby," Lily said. "She was actually a little disturbed by it."

"I can see why," Olivia grinned. "He even has his daddy's hair!" She reached down to smooth the baby's soft hair. Like his father's, it merely bounced back up again. "Sorry about that, Harry. Maybe you'll be better at dealing with it than your dad is."

"I like it," Lily smiled. "I've always liked it on James, too. I think it gives them character."

"As long as you're all right with it," Olivia said.

Lily tossed the last of her clothes into her bag. "How are things with you and Greg, Liv?"

"Fine," Olivia said, looking up from the baby. "Do you think I'm withholding news about our relationship?"

"No," Lily said slowly, "I'm just surprised that I haven't seen him since Harry was born. I mean, you've been here everyday, but he's never been with you."

"Oh," Olivia replied. "Well, I suppose that's my fault. I didn't tell him that I was coming here when Sirius woke us all up to be here when you were in labor. I figured Greg would want to sleep – and, really, that was a time for friends, not for my new boyfriend. And since then, I just thought that you wouldn't want to entertain visitors."

"Liv, you and everyone else have been here at least once a day!" Lily laughed. "I think I've certainly had my fair share of visitors."

"Yeah, but that's different," Olivia replied. "We're like family. I know that you're completely comfortable with all of us. But you haven't known Greg very long. I didn't want you to have to feel like you had to act differently when he was here with you. I think you've been through enough that you deserve to just relax for the next few weeks."

Lily smiled appreciatively. "Thanks, Liv. But if you want to bring him over to meet the baby, go ahead. I'm sure that Harry would like to get to know him."

Olivia smiled. "Thanks."

"You don't need my permission to bring your boyfriend to my house, you know."

Olivia shrugged. "I don't know, Lils. I mean, you haven't exactly warmed up to him."

"Oh, Liv," she sighed. "I guess I just really wanted to see you with Sirius. But if Greg makes you happy, then that's good enough for me."

"He _does_ make me happy," Olivia replied with a smile. "He's just – he's sweet. He's nothing like Sirius."

"Are you saying that Sirius isn't sweet?"

"No, not that. Sirius is sweet, too. But Greg's so totally different from him . . . I had a hard time getting used to that at first."

"Different in a good way?"

"Yeah, I guess." A far-away look came into her eyes, and she smiled softly. "Do you know what I really miss sometimes?"

"What?" Lily asked softly.

"Sometimes I miss the debates that could turn into screaming matches that could turn into snogging sessions. Sometimes I miss the unpredictability. Sometimes I miss the spontaneity." She smiled helplessly. "Sometimes I miss Sirius."

"Oh, Liv," Lily sighed.

"Is that terrible? I really care about Greg – I think I might even be falling in love with him – but sometimes I miss Sirius so much that it makes my throat ache." She swallowed. "What's wrong with me, Lily?"

"Nothing," Lily said firmly. "Sirius was your first love, Liv. He was really special to you. I think he's always going to be with you on some level."

Olivia nodded slowly. "I'm not saying that I want to leave Greg to go back to him."

"I know that. I never thought that you wanted that."

"Good." She sighed again. "Don't say anything to anyone, all right? Can this stay between you and I?"

Lily smiled, and looked over at her sleeping baby. "No. But it can stay between you, _Harry_ and I."

Olivia grinned, and leaned over the baby again. "Right, Harry, you need to keep this conversation to yourself. No telling your friends what Auntie Olivia just said, all right?"

A knock sounded on the door, and it pushed open. James stuck his head in.

"Special delivery," he grinned.

"James!" Lily exclaimed. "Does this mean I get to go home?"

"You're all signed out," James grinned. He opened the door fully, and pushed a wheelchair into the room. "And here's a little parting gift for Harry."

Lily gasped as she looked at the huge teddy bear that was riding in the wheelchair. "Where on earth did that come from?"

"Harry's grandma bought it for him. She thought it would look nice in his nursery, since we used all that teddy bear stuff to decorate it."

"I'm sure it'll look great in there," Lily said. She laughed. "But, James, it's bigger than he is!"

"I know," James grinned. "But it's cute, don't you think?"

"Adorable," Lily agreed. "I just don't know where we're going to put it."

"We'll find space," James promised. He parked the chair, and crossed to look down at his baby. "Well, Harry, it looks like you're on your way home. Are you excited?"

Harry gave no response as he continued sleeping. James looked up with a grin.

"I guess I'll have to take that as a yes."

Lily smiled, and came up beside him. She put her arms around James, and laid her head on his shoulder. "He's amazing, isn't he?"

James pulled her close, and kissed the top of her head. "Amazing," he repeated in a slightly choked voice.

Olivia quietly cleared her throat. "Do you guys need my help anymore, or should I get back to work?"

"I think we're all right," James said, looking at her over Lily's head. "We'll have everyone over in a few days to spend some more time with Harry."

"Take your time getting settled in," Olivia replied as she picked up her purse. "Harry's going to be with us for quite some time. There's no rush to have everyone over."

"Thanks for all your help, Liv," Lily said.

"You're welcome," Olivia smiled. She crossed to look at Harry one last time. "You take care of Mum and Dad, all right, sweetheart?" she said. She leaned down to kiss his forehead. "I'll see you all soon."

"Bye, Liv."

With a parting smile, she Disapparated. James kissed the top of Lily's head again.

"Are you ready to go home, Mummy?"

"Definitely," Lily smiled.

"All right, then," James grinned. He waved his wand to shrink the teddy bear down to a considerably smaller size, and placed it in Lily's bag. "This wheelchair is all yours."

"I can't just Apparate home?"

"We have to Floo," James replied. "Unfortunately, Harry can't Apparate yet."

Lily grinned. "I can't wait to get him home." She lifted him out of his cradle. He squirmed but did not wake as she adjusted him in her arms. "He's a good little sleeper, isn't he?"

"He gets that from me," James grinned.

Lily shook her head. "Awfully quick to claim his positive characteristics, aren't you?"

"Well, I think we can agree that he has my hair."

"He has a lot of you in his appearance. Weren't you listening to your mum the night he was born?"

James grinned, and ran his hand through his hair. "Well, at least we know that he's handsome."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Honestly," she muttered. She sat down in the chair. "I'm ready when you are."

James picked up her bag, and began to push the chair forward. "Let's go home."

* * *

Lily was sure she had never had so much fun as she did showing her son around his new home. She and James carried the baby through each room of the house, telling him where they were and what they would do there. Harry, who was now awake, listened attentively to the voices that he was quickly learning to love.

"And here's your room," Lily said as she opened the door of the nursery.

"What do you think?" James asked as he carried the baby inside the room. "Do you like it? Mummy and I spent forever trying to decide what you'd like. We can change it if you'd rather have it decorated differently."

"James," Lily laughed, "I really don't think Harry's ready to make decorating decisions yet."

"He might be," James insisted. "What if he doesn't like the teddy bear theme we've got in here?"

"Then your mother is going to be heartbroken," Lily smiled. "I think it's going to be a few years before he starts telling us what he wants in his room."

"I suppose," James agreed with a smile. "Well, Harry, Daddy needs a drink. What do you say we go back down to the kitchen to get a glass of water?"

Lily smiled again, and followed her boys back down the stairs. James stopped short as he reached the kitchen, and Lily nearly ran into him. As he started moving again, she saw the reason for his surprise – a large owl was perched on the table.

"That looks like a Hogwarts owl," she commented as James passed the baby to her.

"I know," he said, stepping forward to take the letter attached to the bird's leg. "I'm just surprised. I got my start of term notification last week."

Lily shrugged as the owl, relieved of its burden, took off through the open window. "Open it."

James broke the seal on the letter, and began skimming it. He frowned slightly as his eyes moved back to the top of the short message.

"It's from Dumbledore," he said. "Listen to this."

"_Dear James and Lily,_

"_First let me congratulate you on the birth of your son. I am certain that little Harry will be a source of joy to you for many years to come._

"_There is, however, something related to your child that we need to discuss. I would like to meet with both of you on 10 August in my office at ten o'clock in the morning. If this is a problem, please let me know._

"_Again, my congratulations. I hope to see you on the tenth._

"_Sincerely,_

"_Albus P.W.B. Dumbledore"_

Lily looked at James with questions in her eyes. "What on earth is that all about?"

"I have no idea," James said. He read the letter again as though searching for answers. "What could we possibly need to discuss with Dumbledore about Harry?"

"I don't know," Lily said. "Unless . . ." Her eyes widened as a terrifying thought came over her. "No, never mind. That can't be it."

"What?"

She shook her head, not wanting to speak her fears. "It can't be."

"Lil, we've got nothing here. There are no bad ideas right now."

She drew a deep breath. "What if he isn't magical?"

"What?" James asked in shock.

"What else could Dumbledore want to discuss with us?" Lily asked fearfully. "James, our baby must have been born a Squib! You know that Dumbledore and McGonagall have records of every magical baby that's born – they must have seen Harry's birth announcement in the Prophet, and then realized that his name wasn't recorded as a wizard!"

She felt herself beginning to panic. She had not realized how much it meant to her to have a magical child until that moment. She wasn't sure how she would handle knowing that her baby wasn't a wizard.

"Lil, calm down," James said firmly. "I'm sure that's not it."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Come on," James smiled. "With us as his parents, there's no way this child isn't a powerful wizard."

Lily rolled her eyes. "You've always thought far too highly of yourself, Potter."

"No, I'm serious!" James said quickly. "I'm not trying to be conceited; I'm just trying to think logically. When you consider all that you and I have done in our lives, it's pretty apparent that we're powerful wizards. Why wouldn't our child be?"

"I'm the daughter of two Squibs," Lily shrugged. "Does parentage determine power?"

"I don't know." James reached up to clutch his hair. "Look, we're not going to know until we talk to Dumbledore, so there's no use panicking yet. We'll send him a reply to let him know that we'll be there, and then we'll deal with whatever news he gives us when he gives it to us."

Lily nodded, and kissed her baby's forehead. "James, if he is a Squib, do you think we should -?"

"Stop right there," James said, cutting her off. "We'll decide what to do when we know for sure that we have to."

Lily nodded, and hugged Harry closer. She knew what it was like to grow up "different" from the rest of the family. She had never considered that her son would have to go through a situation similar to her own. She hoped that he would be strong enough to meet the challenges that lay ahead of him.

* * *

On the tenth of August, Lily and James took Harry for his first visit to Hogwarts. They Flooed into James's office; neither of them had access to Dumbledore's fireplace. They were both rather nervous as they walked through the long, empty corridors from James's office to that of the Headmaster.

"It's going to be fine," James said. He shifted Harry to one arm so that he could take Lily's hand.

"I hope so," she said, her voice shaking slightly.

"Listen, Lil, even if he is a Squib, he's still our son," James said bracingly.

Lily turned to look at him. "Can you honestly tell me that you won't be disappointed if Dumbledore tells us that Harry's not a wizard? That you won't be disappointed to learn that your son will never attend Hogwarts? That he'll never have a wand? Never play Quidditch? Never fully be a part of our world?"

James drew a shaking breath, but did not reply. He knew that Lily knew what his answer would be. Yes, of course he would be disappointed.

"It's going to change a lot about our lives, James."

"We'll deal with it when we need to," James said. They reached the gargoyle guarding the Headmaster's office. "Acid pop."

The gargoyle moved, and they began the last part of their journey into Dumbledore's office. Lily bit her lower lip. She needed to be strong. She inhaled and exhaled deeply, drawing up her strength and bracing her mind. She was prepared to face whatever news the Headmaster gave her.

The moving staircase stopped, and they stepped off. James and Lily both stopped short as they looked through the open door of Dumbledore's office. The Headmaster was not alone; Frank and Alice Longbottom were sitting with him. Their baby, Neville, was cradled in Alice's arms.

"Ah, James and Lily," Dumbledore smiled. "Right on time. Please, come in and sit down. Would you like a drink?"

"No, thank you," James said as they sat down.

"Lily?"

"No, thanks," she said. She looked from Dumbledore to the Longbottoms and back.

"Well," Dumbledore said cheerfully, "thank you all for coming this morning to meet with me. It is wonderful to finally have the chance to meet your babies. I've already met young Neville – and who is this strapping young man?"

James grinned, and offered the baby to his employer. "This is Harry."

"Well, hello there, Harry," Dumbledore said, taking the baby. His eyes twinkled as he looked down at the little boy, and an expression of joy crossed his face. "I must say, you're quite a handsome young man." He looked up at James with a wink. "He looks rather like his father."

James grinned, and nodded. "My mum was a little scared by how much he looks like I did when I was a baby."

"I can understand why."

After playing with the baby for a few more moments, Dumbledore gave him to Lily. He looked at both couples with concern in his eyes.

"I should tell you all why I've asked you to come here today. I must admit, it's not an easy thing to say."

Lily held her breath. Were Neville's magical powers also in question?

"Your children are in grave danger," Dumbledore said slowly.

"Danger?" Frank asked. "Is it because we're Aurors? If that's the case, we can hand in our resignation tomorrow."

Alice nodded. "We won't do anything to endanger Neville's life."

"No, it has nothing to do with your careers," Dumbledore said. "Remember, James and Lily are not Aurors."

"Is it because we're Order members?" James asked tensely.

"No," Dumbledore said. "It has nothing to do with what you've done. It has everything to do with a prophecy made before your sons' births."

"A prophecy?" Lily asked blankly.

Dumbledore nodded, and drew forth his pensieve. "Here, let me show you."

He touched the surface of the bowl with his wand, and withdrew a memory. A woman none of them had seen before was soon before them, revolving slowly as she spoke.

"_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches . . . Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies . . . And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not . . . And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives . . .The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies . . ."_

"But I don't understand," Alice frowned as the memory sank back into the pensieve. "What does that have to do with Neville and Harry?"

"One of these two boys will be the one to vanquish Voldemort," Dumbledore said simply.

Silence fell over the room. The four young parents stared at him in disbelief.

"How can that be?" Lily finally asked. "How can one of these little babies – babies who have not even begun to develop their powers – be the one to vanquish Voldemort?"

"As the centaurs would say, the stars have aligned to give them this special blessing and curse," Dumbledore said with a sad smile. "Consider the conditions of the prophecy. First, it states that the baby would be born to parents who have thrice defied Voldemort. All of you have defied him three times in battle."

James and Lily exchanged a glance. As their past battles ran through their minds, they slowly nodded. They had, indeed, defied Voldemort three times.

"Second, it says that the baby would be born as the seventh month dies," Dumbledore continued. "Both Neville and Harry were born on the last day of July."

James's words from the night of Harry's birth filled Lily's mind. Peter had asked what the baby's birthday was. James had told him July thirty-first. _"He only made it by about forty minutes, but it's enough."_

"But you said that it will only be one of them," Frank said. "If they both meet the criteria, how do we know which on it is?"

Dumbledore sighed, and folded his fingers together. "That, I'm afraid, is the decision of Lord Voldemort himself."

"What?" Alice gasped.

Dumbledore nodded. "The final condition for determining which boy will vanquish Voldemort states that the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal. We can assume, therefore, that he will attempt to attack the baby he considers more of a threat – more his equal."

"Does he know of this?" James asked.

"Part of it," Dumbledore said slowly. "One of Voldemort's spies overheard the first half of the prophecy. It is safe to assume, then, that he knows that a baby born at the end of July to parents who defied him three times will be his downfall."

"But he doesn't know that he must mark him," Frank said.

"No," Dumbledore said. "Which I assume means that he will attempt to destroy both of your children."

Lily sucked her breath in quickly. "You mean he's going to try to kill our babies?"

Dumbledore looked at her with eyes full of sorrow. "Yes, Lily, that is exactly what I mean."

Lily felt as though she had been slapped. She couldn't believe that less than an hour ago, she had been concerned that her son might not be magical.

"Did that one line say that the baby will have power the Dark Lord doesn't?" James asked.

Dumbledore nodded. "We have a very powerful young wizard on our hands."

"But the very last bit," Alice said, her eyes shining with tears, "'neither can live while the other survives . . .' what does that mean?"

"The one with this power must defeat Voldemort or be defeated by him," Dumbledore said, sorrow etched across his face. "I'm so sorry to have to bring you this news."

"What can be done?" James asked quickly. "We cannot let our children fall victim to this prophecy – not without a fight."

"The easiest course of action is to go into hiding," Dumbledore said. "Train your children in battle, and wait until the boys have grown older before exposing them to the threat of Voldemort's power."

James and Lily exchanged a glance. They were both thinking the same thing: they were not ready to give up their lives to hide from a distant threat.

"Are there no other options?" Frank asked.

"There are always other options," Dumbledore said. "But the most important thing you must do is to protect your children to the best of your ability. I would also advise you to name guardians for them in the event that something should happen to you. It should be someone you trust to protect them at all costs."

* * *

"What do you make of all this?" James asked.

He and Lily were back in their kitchen. Harry was sleeping peacefully in his mother's arms. She looked down at the baby, then up at her husband.

"It's completely unbelievable – yet I have no choice but to believe it," she said. "How on earth did this happen to our little boy?"

"I don't know," James said, running his hands over his face. "But it happened, and now we have to deal with it. We have to decide what we're going to do."

"Maybe I'm just being stupid, but, James, I don't want to go into hiding," she said slowly. "I don't want Harry to have to grow up like that. I want his life to be as normal as possible."

"I agree," James said. "If things get to be too much, we can talk about going into hiding. But for now . . . We just have to decide how we want to live our lives."

Lily looked at him nervously. "We're going to have to change some things."

"Such as?"

"I'm going to quit the Prophet," Lily said in a rush.

"What?" James whispered. "Lil, you've worked so hard to get where you are with the paper. And you love your job."

"I know," she said, tears gathering in her eyes. "But I love Harry more. My job is so high-profile, and all that Minnie and I do is so controversial – it's not worth the risk, James. I'll quit and stay home to be Harry's mummy."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

James nodded. "All right, then. That's one decision made."

Lily swallowed, trying to think of something other than her lost employment. "I heard Frank and Alice saying that they're going to name Frank's mother Neville's guardian if something happens to them."

James nodded again. "Yeah, I heard them say that, too."

"Harry's going to need a guardian, James." She swallowed again. "The only family I have left is Petunia, and I don't think that she's in a position to defend him against wizards like Voldemort."

"There's my mum," James said. "But I don't want to ask her to do that."

"You don't?" Lily frowned.

James shook his head. "My mum is a powerful witch, but she's also . . . If something happened to Harry while she was in charge of protecting him, she'd never forgive herself. She's already shattered over my dad dying – I don't even want to think about what would happen to her if something happened to Harry in her care."

Lily nodded. "We need to choose someone really powerful to care for him – someone we'd trust with our own lives."

"Sirius," James said at once.

"Sirius?"

"Yes, Sirius. He's one of the most powerful wizards I know, and he's trained to fight dark wizards. You know him, Lil. He'd die before letting anything happen to us – and that includes Harry."

Lily nodded slowly. "He's the perfect choice," she agreed. "There is no one I'd trust more than him to be my son's guardian."

"We need to make sure it's all legal," James said. "What do you say we make him Harry's godfather?"

Lily smiled. "I think that's a brilliant idea."

James smiled. "Excellent. Now we just have to ask him."

* * *

"Sirius?"

Sirius stopped just before walking into his office, and turned to see who had called him. He smiled as he watched Olivia walk toward him.

"Hey," he said. "What's going on?"

"Can we talk?"

"Sure." Sirius couldn't help but feel hopeful. Did she want to give their relationship another try? He had been thinking quite a bit about it recently, and was sure that he wanted to. He opened his office door fully, and looked inside. "There's no one in here. Come on in."

Once they were both in the office, Sirius closed the door and put a silencing charm on the room. Olivia unfolded the parchment she carried in her hands.

"I have orders from Moody," she said without preamble.

"Okay," Sirius replied, trying to hide his disappointment at their topic of conversation. "Where are we going?"

She rolled her eyes. "We have patrol duty in Diagon Alley. Can it get any more boring?"

Sirius grinned. "Hey, at least we won't be in the office. We have to be thankful for small mercies."

"I suppose. We're supposed to Apparate there immediately."

"All right," Sirius agreed. "See you in front of Ollivander's, then?"

"Why Ollivander's?"

He shrugged. "Why not?"

"All right. See you there."

Within moments, they were together outside the wand shop. Olivia folded the parchment again, and shoved it into her pocket.

"Now we just have to patrol," she said.

"I think we can handle that," Sirius said.

They began walking around together on the main street of the town. Both held their wands in their hands, prepared to defend themselves if necessary.

"So, how have things been?" Sirius asked as they walked.

Olivia looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Is there a reason you're acting like we never see one another?"

Sirius grinned. "I feel like I haven't seen much of you since Harry was born."

Olivia smiled. "Have you seen him recently?"

"You mean in the week that he's been home?"

She grinned. "Yeah, that."

"No, not yet," Sirius admitted. "I want to go over there, but I don't want Lily to have to rush back into entertaining."

"I know what you mean," Olivia replied. "She told me that we're all welcome anytime, but I still don't want to impose."

"Exactly." He paused, trying to decide how to ask what he wanted to know. He decided to just go for it. "How are things with you and Greg?"

"Fine," Olivia said evenly. "Don't get your hopes up, Black. I'm still with him."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "What did I say to suggest that I wanted you back? I was just making conversation."

"Yeah, right," Olivia teased. "You know you want me."

Sirius looked at her critically. "I've had you."

"Sirius!" she cried, shrieking with laughter. "You can't say stuff like that!"

"It's true," Sirius grinned. He sobered, and smiled again. "You know, Liv, we were really great together."

Realizing that his mood had changed, Olivia, too, calmed down. "Yeah, we were," she said softly.

"I really thought things would work out with us."

"Sirius, I have a boyfriend," she said warningly.

"I know that."

"Are you sure?"

He sighed. "Olivia, I know that you can't be mine – at least not for now."

She opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by a new voice.

"Sirius Black!"

Olivia jumped. "Did your pocket just scream your name?"

"Sort of," Sirius grinned, wondering how James could have such awful timing. He pulled his mirror from his pocket, and saw his friend's face looking at him. "Hey, Dad," he smiled. "What's going on?"

"Can you come over?" James asked. "Lily and I wanted to see you."

"All right," Sirius agreed. "Liv and I are patrolling in Diagon Alley right now, so I'll just come over when my shift ends."

"Perfect," James replied. "We'll see you then."

"See you," Sirius said. He waited until James's face had faded from view, and put the mirror back into his pocket.

"Looks like you'll get to see Harry again soon," Olivia smiled.

"Looks like," Sirius echoed. Concern darkened his features. James didn't often summon him over for a chat. "I wonder what that's all about."

"Well, you don't have to wait too much longer to find out."

* * *

As soon as their shift ended, Sirius made his way to James and Lily's house. He knocked on the door, which was opened by James.

"Hey, Padfoot," he smiled, opening the door wider. "Thanks for coming over."

"You know, you have the worst timing of anyone I know," Sirius said in reply.

"What are you talking about?"

"Liv and I were having a pretty heavy discussion when you started screaming for me."

James raised his eyebrows. "What kind of heavy conversation?"

"I got her to admit that we were good together."

James frowned. "I thought you were over her."

"Yeah, well . . ." Sirius grinned. "I guess I'm not."

James shook his head. "Well, do you mind if we discuss this at length another time? Lily and have something we really need to talk to you about."

"Sure," Sirius said, instantly shelving his own issues. "What's going on?"

"Let's go find Lily and Harry," James replied.

He led Sirius into the living room, where Lily was sitting on the couch. Harry was sleeping in a cradle across the room from her.

"Hey, Little Flower," Sirius smiled, leaning down to kiss her cheek. "How are you feeling?"

"Good," she smiled. "Thanks for coming over."

"Sure," he said easily. He crossed the room to look down at the baby. "Hey, champ," he smiled. "How do you like your house? Are Mummy and Daddy treating you all right?"

"Believe me, he is our little prince," James smiled. He sat down next to Lily, and took her hand in his. "Sirius, we want to talk to you about Harry."

"What about him?" Sirius asked, looking up from the baby.

James smiled uncertainly. "Sirius, you are, in every way that counts, my brother. Along with Lily, you are the person in this world that I trust above all others – even more than I trust myself at times. Lily and I have talked about this, and we've decided . . . If something were to happen to us, we'd like you to take Harry, to raise him for us."

Sirius's eyes widened. "What are you asking me?"

"We're asking you to be Harry's godfather."

Sirius looked down at the baby, then up at his parents. He blinked as he felt tears pressing against the back of his eyes. "You want me to be his godfather?" he whispered.

"Yes," Lily said. "But before you agree, there's something else that you need to know."

"What's that?"

James drew a deep breath. "Lily and I were just informed this morning that Harry is potentially the subject of a prophecy about Voldemort."

Sirius frowned. "Come again?"

"Professor Dumbledore just called us in to tell us about a prophecy that was made before Harry was born. It says that the one with the power to vanquish Voldemort would be born at the end of July to parents who had defied Voldemort three times."

Sirius looked down at the baby again. "Are you saying that _Harry_ will be the one to defeat Voldemort?"

"Maybe," Lily said. "It could be him or Neville Longbottom – Frank and Alice's son."

"How do we know which one it is?"

"The prophecy says that Voldemort will mark him as his equal."

"So he's going to attack one of them?"

"Yes," James said. "But he doesn't know that part. He just knows that one of them has the power to defeat him. So, he'll likely try to kill them both."

Without realizing what he was doing, Sirius put a protective hand on Harry's cradle. "So you're telling me that Harry is in a lot of danger."

"So are James and I," Lily said. "That's why it's so important to name a guardian who we trust to be strong enough to defend our baby. We want you to be his godfather, Sirius, because we know you to be an extremely powerful wizard, and because we know that you would do anything to defend us – and we assume that extends to our son."

"It does," Sirius said firmly. "Yes. I'll be Harry's godfather."

"Are you sure?" James asked. "We're asking a lot of you, Sirius."

"I know," Sirius replied. "I know exactly what you're asking me." He drew a deep breath. "I pray that I'll never need to, but should something happen to you, I'll do everything in my power to protect your little boy." He reached down to touch Harry's head. "As long as I have breath in my body, I will keep him safe."


	43. Fighting Fear

A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing, everyone! And a very happy birthday to obsessedwithharrypotter!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Fighting Fear

_Vincent, will you teach me how to paint?  
__Teresa, will I ever be a saint?  
__John, I really think your songs are great  
__I was born too late_

_William, will you teach me how to write?  
__Cassius, will you show me how to fight?  
__Thomas A, I think I see the light  
__I was born tonight_

_I've hard time leaving this town  
__I've been losing everything that I've found  
__I'm gonna search the sky and kiss the ground,  
__Build it up and tear it back down_

_I've had a hard time leaving this place  
__I've been counting all the lines on my face  
__I'm gonna curse the sky and hit the ground  
__And what goes up comes tumbling down_

_Martin Luther King, show me the way  
__Jesus, Buddha, teach me how to pray  
__Christopher, I think I see the bay  
__I was born today  
__- Born Too Late, _The Clarks

"My Lord, we have done as you requested."

Voldemort nodded slowly. "And? Have you discovered which child was born at the end of July to parents who have defied me three times?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes."

"Lucius, you know that I do not like games," Voldemort hissed. "What do you mean, 'in a manner of speaking?'"

"There are two possibilities, my Lord."

"Two?" Voldemort frowned. "But how is that possible? The prophecy only spoke of one child who would have the power to challenge me."

"I know that, my Lord. I don't know how this is possible."

"Very well," Voldemort sighed. "Who are these children? Who are their parents?"

"One is Neville Longbottom," Lucius said. "His parents are Frank and Alice Longbottom."

"Longbottom . . . I believe they are Aurors?"

"Correct, my Lord."

Voldemort nodded slowly. "They could indeed prove to be quite a problem. Place them under surveillance."

"Yes, my Lord."

"And the other child?"

"Harry Potter, sir. His parents are –"

"James and Lily Potter," Voldemort interrupted. "Yes, those two have been Dumbledore's puppets from the time they were able to make their own decisions."

"Yes, sir, we have intelligence that they are working with Dumbledore."

"Of course they are!" Voldemort hissed. "James works in his school! And Lily has done more work to undermine me since she started writing for the Daily Prophet than the entire staff of the paper did before she joined them." He looked thoughtful. "They are both very powerful," he admitted. "Very powerful, indeed."

"You think the Potter child has this power that could defeat you, my Lord?"

"I think if his parents have their way, he certainly will have the means," he replied. "I must learn more about them – about this child and his parents."

"Would you like us to place them under surveillance, my Lord?"

Voldemort looked thoughtful for a moment. "That won't be necessary."

"My Lord?" Lucius questioned with raised eyebrows.

Voldemort smiled a horrible, cold smile. "We already have the resources to learn all we need regarding their lives right here among us."

Lucius frowned slightly. "I don't understand, my Lord."

Voldemort smiled again. "Bring me Peter Pettigrew."

* * *

"Lily, he is absolutely too cute for words," Dana said as she cuddled the baby close. "I can't believe he's almost a month old already."

"Neither can I," Lily admitted. "But it's only a few more days till his birthday."

"You're getting to be such a big boy, Harry," Dana grinned. She looked up at Lily. "I can't wait to have my own."

"I can't wait for you to have your own, either," Lily grinned. "Harry needs a little friend to play with."

"He has Neville," Peter pointed out as he looked over Dana's shoulder at the baby.

"That's true," James said. "And I'm sure that Frank and Alice will be excited to set up play dates for them."

"They'll be able to go to Hogwarts together, too," Peter said, still looking at the baby. He smiled as Harry stretched in Dana's arms.

"Do you want to hold him, Peter?" Dana asked.

"Oh, I – I probably shouldn't," Peter stammered, turning red. "I'd probably drop him."

"Have you been around babies much before, Peter?" Lily asked, cocking her head to the side.

"Never," Peter admitted. "I'm the only child, and all my cousins are older than me.

"Well, it's time you got used to them, then," Lily said. She took Harry from Dana, and put him in Peter's arms.

"Oh, boy," Peter said, trying to adjust the baby in his arms. "Am I doing this right?"

"You're doing fine," Lily grinned. "Just make sure you support his head. The muscles in his neck can't do that yet."

"All right," Peter said, still fumbling with the baby. "Hey, Harry," he smiled. "What do you think? Am I a complete amateur who has no idea what he's doing or what?"

James laughed. "Way to make him feel secure, Wormtail."

"How did you know what to do?" Peter asked. "You've never been around kids before, either."

James shrugged. "Instinct, I guess. Don't you think you'll get better with time?"

Peter shrugged. He still looked terribly uncomfortable. "I just hope I figure out what I'm doing before he gets too big for me to hold him."

Lily giggled. "That's quite a ways off."

"And my skills need some serious honing," Peter grinned.

"You're doing fine," Lily smiled. "You'll get it in no time."

Peter smiled his thanks. A second later, he was stunned as a sudden burning pain shot up his arm. As his destination filled his mind, panic seized him. How could he get out of this position gracefully? Trying to keep his face neutral, he gave the baby back to Dana.

"Had enough?" she grinned as she took Harry back into her arms.

"I just realized how late it is," he lied. "I have to be at work."

James shook his head. "You really need to get a job with normal hours, Peter."

"I know," Peter smiled. "I'll see you all later, okay?"

"Okay," James replied. "Have fun at work."

"Believe me, I won't," Peter said. "See you all soon."

He closed his eyes, and Disapparated.

* * *

"Mr. Pettigrew. Just the man I have been waiting to see."

Peter frowned slightly as he opened his eyes in the Dark Lord's office. "My Lord?" he questioned.

"It has come to my attention that you have been withholding information from me."

Peter's frown deepened as he thought of the last report he had given to his master. Was there some detail he had overlooked? "My Lord?" he asked again.

"Information about your friends?" he prompted.

Peter's eyes widened slightly as he realized what the Dark Lord was asking him. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said quickly.

"Peter, I would have thought that by now you would have learned not to lie to me," Voldemort said softly. "Obviously, I was wrong. _Crucio_."

Peter shrieked in pain. As the seconds stretched into minutes, he was sure he could feel his skin splitting open. Would it never end? He would do anything – _anything_ to make this pain stop.

"I think you are ready to talk with me now," Voldemort said, lifting the curse.

Peter dropped to the floor, gasping for air. He ran his hands over his arms and legs, astounded to discover that he wasn't bleeding.

Voldemort put his wand on his desk, and folded his hands. "Now, Peter, tell me about your friends' new baby."

Peter hesitated, wishing there was a way he could get out of this. Yet, he knew that he could never lie to the Dark Lord. He always knew when his followers were being untruthful.

"Your hesitation suggests that you need another dose of pain," Voldemort said, his hand moving toward this wand again.

Peter shook at the very thought. "His name is Harry Potter," he gasped out.

"Yes, I am aware of that," Voldemort said, his tone slightly annoyed. "Was he born on the last day of July?"

"Yes," Peter rasped.

"Have you heard any more of the prophecy made regarding him?"

"No," Peter answered honestly.

"Have his parents?"

"I don't know, my Lord," he said, again giving an honest answer.

Voldemort nodded. "Do you know where I might find this young Potter?"

"Right now?" Peter asked.

"His place of residence will be sufficient."

Peter hesitated. How could he give James and Lily's address to the Dark Lord? Yet if he didn't . . .

"I know your thoughts, Peter," Voldemort said softly. "You know where they live. If you do not tell me, you will most grievously regret it."

Peter swallowed hard. He had no choice. He repeated Lily and James's address.

Voldemort smiled his cold smile. "Thank you, Peter. That will be all."

Peter walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. He exhaled shakily. Realizing that his legs would no longer support him, he sank down onto the floor. He pulled his knees up to his chest, and reached up to grab his hair. How could he have done that? He had just placed two of his best friends – as well as their new baby – in grave danger.

"What have I done?" he whispered. "What have I done?"

* * *

James watched as Lily brushed out her hair before going downstairs for breakfast. Even though they had already greeted one another, he came up behind her and brushed her hair off her neck.

"Good morning, love."

Lily smiled as James kissed her cheek. "Good morning - again," she replied. "You seem awfully chipper this morning."

"It's a beautiful day," James said. "And it's Harry's one month birthday! What shall we do with him today?"

"Should we ask him what he wants to do?" Lily smiled.

"Yes, let's," James agreed with a grin. He took Lily's hand. "Come on, let's go talk to him right now."

"James, he's sleeping," Lily protested.

"He'll go right back to sleep if that's what he wants to do," James replied. "Come on."

Lily laughed, and let James pull her down the hall to the baby's nursery. He opened the door, and they walked quietly inside. Harry was curled up in his crib. One fist was closed on the corner of his blanket, and the other was open next to his face. James smiled as he watched the baby take deep, even breaths.

"Look at him sleeping," he said in a soft tone. "Can we wake him up?"

"You get to put him back to sleep," Lily warned.

"I can handle that," James said. He reached down to lift the sleeping baby into his arms.

Harry's eyes opened, and he looked up at his father in confusion. Obviously not thrilled with being dragged away from his dreams, he began to cry. James rocked him gently back and forth.

"Hey, now, none of that, little man," he said. "Daddy woke you up for a very good reason! Today is your one month birthday! Aren't you excited?"

Harry merely continued to cry. Lily laughed.

"I think we can safely take that as a no," she said.

James made a face at her. "You calm him down, then, if you're so good at this."

Lily took the baby from her husband. Despite her best efforts, he continued to cry.

"Not as good as you thought, are you, Mummy?" James teased.

"I blame you for this," Lily said crossly. "I'm going to feed him. Maybe that will help. You'd better have come up with a good birthday activity by the time I'm done."

"Yes, ma'am," James grinned.

Lily shook her head, and sat down in the nursery's rocking chair to feed her baby. James left the room, quietly closing the door behind him.

By the time Lily and the now-calm Harry made their way downstairs, James had made breakfast. He was just setting the finishing touches on the table when Lily stepped into the kitchen.

"Well, isn't this lovely?" she smiled. "You didn't have to do all this!"

"Consider it my peace offering," James grinned. "From now on, unless it is an emergency, I will never wake Harry from a deep sleep."

"Excellent plan," Lily smiled. She put Harry down in his cradle, and took a seat at the table. "Have you decided what we're going to do for Harry's birthday?"

"Well, I thought that perhaps we could make today his first trip to the park."

"James! That's a fantastic idea!" Lily exclaimed. "We'll get to use his new stroller! We can show him the lake with the ducks, and the playground, and . . . Oh, he's going to love it! This is just perfect."

James grinned. "When do you want to go?"

"Let's go right after breakfast," Lily replied. "I can't wait any longer than that."

James laughed. "And you call me impatient."

* * *

As soon as they had the dishes cleaned and stored in the appropriate cupboards, James and Lily prepared Harry for his first trip to the neighborhood park. They made sure to bundle him appropriately for the warm day, and packed a bag full of necessities for every situation they could imagine. Then, putting the baby in his stroller, they set off to walk to the park.

They had a wonderful time walking through the park together. Harry seemed to enjoy it, too; he was quite attentive to his surroundings.

"We need to bring him back here again," Lily said as they wandered along the path around the lake. "I think he really likes it."

"The fresh air and sunshine are good for him, too," James added. "And when he's a little older, we can bring him here to play with the other kids."

Lily nodded with a grin. "We'll have to see if Frank and Alice can bring Neville with us sometimes, too. That way these two little boys can get to know one another early on."

James nodded. "They should probably learn to rely on one another," he said tensely.

"James," Lily said warningly, "don't talk like that."

"Dumbledore's worried, Lil," he replied. "I don't know which one of them will be targeted, but I think that if they work together, they'll have a better chance at survival."

"Can we please not talk about this today?" Lily asked. "It's Harry's birthday, James. Let's just take today to celebrate. Concentrate on the positive things in our world, not the negative."

"All right," he agreed. He took her hand and kissed it. "I'll drop it for you."

"Drop it for _all_ of us," she said firmly.

"All right," he said again. He looked around, his eyes lighting up as they fell on an ice cream cart. "Look, ice cream!"

Lily laughed, grateful for his change in mood and topic. "And here I was thinking that I only had _one_ child."

"Nope," James said cheerfully, "not when there's ice cream to be had. Come on, let's go get some."

"All right," Lily agreed. "We can eat it to celebrate Harry's birthday."

"We'll get him some, too."

"Oh, no," Lily laughed. "He can't even sit up! No ice cream for the baby."

"He'll like it!"

"He's too little," Lily protested.

James sighed, knowing that she was right. "Sorry, Harry," he said as they walked to the man selling the frozen treats. "I'll get you some ice cream when you're older."

After purchasing their ice cream cones, James and Lily found a bench to sit on. They parked Harry's stroller so that he could look out over the park, and settled themselves to eat their snack as they watched the various people walking past.

"I'm worried about Peter," James said, breaking the companionable silence.

"Why?" Lily frowned, surprised by his sudden confession.

"He's just – I don't know – letting life pass him by."

"'Letting life pass him by?'" Lily repeated. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Think about it," James said. "He still lives with his mum, even though Sirius has offered to let him move in more than once, he's stuck in a job that he hates, and he has yet to go on so much as one date since – since Hogwarts."

"Since Kathleen died," Lily clarified in a soft voice. She sighed. "You know, James, I think that Kathleen might have been the love of his life. I don't think he's ever really gotten over her death. I think it's made him the person he is today, rather than the person he would have become had she lived. They probably would have gotten married and started a life together. Without her, he can't live that life."

"But he can live another," James insisted. "I just feel like he's not _living_ at all. He's just going through the motions."

Lily shrugged. "If he's happy, why should we worry?"

"Do you truly think he's happy?"

"James, I've had this conversation with Olivia more times than I want think about," she replied. "She says she's happy with her life, and so she must be. If Peter's not telling us that he's unhappy, we'll just have to believe that he _is_ happy."

James ran his hands over his face. "You know, Sirius just admitted to me that he's still in love with Olivia." He paused, and turned to face his wife. "How does she feel about him?"

"Haven't you been listening to me?" she asked with a smile. "She keeps telling me that she's happy with Greg. I have to believe that."

"As long as she's happy," James agreed. He chewed the last bit of his cone. "Should we go back home?"

"All right," Lily agreed, standing up. She released the brake on Harry's stroller. "Let's go."

* * *

Sirius looked at the clock on his desk. Ten thirty. Olivia had been at work for half an hour and he had yet to see her. When they had become partners, she would usually stop to say hello as soon as she arrived at work. But since that day – since that patrol when he had started quizzing her about her relationship with Greg – she had been avoiding him.

He sighed. It was stupid, really. And it was time to put an end to it. He stood to leave his office.

"Hey," Lucas, his officemate, said, looking up from his paperwork. "Where are you going?"

"Out for a walk around the department," Sirius said evasively.

Lucas grinned. "Just keep an eye out for anyone with things for you to file."

"I will," Sirius grinned. "See you later."

Once outside the small room, he walked purposefully down the hall to Olivia's office. He knocked on the door, and heard someone inside give permission to enter.

"Hi," he said, stepping inside. He was relieved to see that Olivia was alone. "Where are your officemates?"

"Out and about," she said with a smile. "What's up?"

Sirius closed the door behind him. "We need to talk," he said, stepping closer to her.

"All right," she agreed. "What do you want to talk about?"

"About what happened between us during our patrol of Diagon Alley."

"What are you talking about?" she asked with a slightly confused frown.

"Stupid doesn't suit you, Olivia," Sirius said, sitting down on an empty desk. "You know what I'm talking about."

She gave him a look of annoyance. "All right, I do know," she admitted. "I just don't see why we have to go back to it."

"Because it could change everything!" Sirius exclaimed.

"That's exactly why we shouldn't talk about it anymore," Olivia replied quickly. "Sirius, things are working between us right now. We're friends again, and we're partners. We work well together. Let's not rock the boat with a conversation about what might have been."

"I prefer to think of it as what could be," Sirius countered.

"Sirius," Olivia sighed. "You're being ridiculous."

"Liv, you admitted yourself that we were really good together. And we both know that we could be again, if you'll just give us a chance."

"We had our chance," she insisted. "I'm sorry that you and Rebecca broke up, but I'm happy with Greg. I'm not going to leave him because you've decided that we need to give our relationship – a relationship that already failed once - another try."

"It shouldn't have failed the first time," Sirius said. "Liv, do you know _why_ Rebecca broke up with me?"

"Because you're an ass?" she asked with a teasing smile.

Sirius smiled. "No, she managed to overlook that," he replied. "She broke up with me because she could see that how much you mean to me. She didn't want to have to compete with you."

"Well, that's your misfortune," Olivia said harshly. "Sirius, I don't deny that we had fun together. I don't deny that I loved you more than I've ever loved anyone – maybe even more than I ever _will_ love anyone. I don't deny that I still have feelings for you."

Sirius smiled hopefully. "Let's give it another try, then," he said, reaching for her hands.

"Alexander, you'd better be in here!"

Sirius and Olivia both jumped as Moody burst into the office. One look at his face told them that something was terribly wrong.

"Good, Black, you're here, too," he said as he limped in, closing the door behind him. "I need to talk to both of you."

"What's happened?" Olivia asked, unconsciously gripping Sirius's hands.

"There's been an attack in Diagon Alley," Moody said. "I'm going to have to ask both of you to brace yourselves for this news."

"What is it?" Sirius asked, holding Olivia's hands just as tightly as she held his.

"James and Lily Potter were attacked."

"What?" Olivia whispered. "Why?"

"I don't have many specifics yet," Moody admitted. "We just received word that their house has been destroyed. Five Auror teams are already on the scene –"

They never heard anything else that he would have told them. Without saying a word, both Sirius and Olivia Disapparated.

* * *

The crowds of people standing on their street where the first indication that something was wrong. James frowned at Lily as he pushed the stroller through the throngs of people.

"What do you think happened?" he asked.

"I don't know," she replied. She coughed in the smoke and dust that were getting thicker as they made their way closer to their house. "It doesn't look good, though, does it?"

"Not at all," James said grimly. "Do you think . . .?"

His question died in his throat as the scene unfolded before them. The crowds of people were trying to get close enough to see the devastation that had caused the smoke and dust that had made Lily cough. Those close enough to see were staring open-mouthed as the wreckage that had been James and Lily's house.

What had once been their home – the house they had found before they were married, where they had planned to live their life together – lay in a pile of ruins on the ground. Brick, wood, and glass were shattered and splintered everywhere. Their possessions were twisted and tangled amidst the rubble. As she looked at the destruction, Lily's eyes fell on the teddy bear that her mother-in-law had given Harry the day they left the hospital. It was lying in the middle of the pile that had been their house, its eyes blacked out by dust, its fur caked in dirt.

"Oh, my God," Lily said in a small voice as the enormity of what she was looking at struck her. She gave a cry, and put her hands over her face. "This isn't possible!"

James put his arm around her, pulling her close. "No," he said softly, staring in utter disbelief at his home. "How did they find us so quickly?"

Lily began to shake against him, feeling the tears welling up in her eyes. "My God, James," she whispered. "We could have been there!"

"But we weren't," James said quickly. "We weren't there, Lil. We were gone. We're safe. Harry's safe."

"Harry . . ." Lily pulled away from her husband, and looked down into the stroller, where the baby was sneezing in the flying dust. She picked him up, holding him close. "You're safe," she said softy, pressing a kiss against his head. "They haven't found you. They've haven't hurt you."

Unaware of the danger around them, Harry grabbed a handful of his mother's hair. Lily held him tightly, and looked at James with fear in her eyes.

"What if they're still here?" she asked fearfully.

"They're gone," James said confidently. "They wouldn't stay with all these people around. They would have been caught and arrested."

"Maybe it's worse that they're gone," Lily said quietly. "That means they're still out there somewhere."

"Don't think like that," James said firmly. "Don't. We can't think like that."

Lily looked up at him wordless. She didn't know what to say. How else _could_ she think?

"James! Lily!"

They looked up, and saw Sirius and Olivia rushing toward them. As soon as they reached them, Olivia threw her arms around Lily and Harry.

"Thank God," she exclaimed. "We've been so worried! Moody told Sirius and I about the attack as soon as we got word, and we rushed over here – we've been looking for you since we got here."

"We weren't home," Lily said as though in a daze.

"Thank God you weren't," Sirius said as he pulled James into a brotherly hug. "We've been searching for you in the rubble."

Lily shuddered, and pulled Harry even closer. He squirmed, protesting against the tight embrace. She reluctantly loosened her grip on his small body. Watching her, Sirius realized that she did not need to be at the scene, staring at the remains of her home.

"Come on," he said. "There are enough Aurors here without me adding to the chaos. I'm taking you to my place."

"I'm coming with you," Olivia said instantly.

"No, you stay here," Sirius said. "We need to make sure that the bastards that did this are caught – and I know that the only person as dedicated to that as I am is you."

"What difference does it make?" James asked helplessly. For the first time since his father had died, he looked defeated. He was starting to think exactly the way he had cautioned Lily against only moments before. "Even if you do catch the people who are responsible and throw them into Azkaban, there are others to take their places."

"James, stop it," Lily said firmly, continuing their role-reversal. "We're going to pull through this. It's just a house. There are plenty of houses. We'll find another."

"But what will we do when they find that one?" James asked. "You know they won't rest until they find us again."

Olivia looked at him in confusion. Why would someone pursue Lily and James so diligently? Why did James think there was such a focus on attacking them?

"They won't find you again," Sirius said confidently. "We'll make sure of it."

"How can we be so sure?"

"We'll talk to Dumbledore and Flitwick," Sirius said. "They must know security charms we can put on your house. And no one could beat Lily in Charms at Hogwarts – she's the best of the best. She'll put the security charms on the house, and you'll be safe forever."

"We'll put your house under Auror guard if we need to," Olivia added, realizing how scared they were. "We're going to keep the three of you safe."

James looked at her sharply. Did she know about the prophecy? Had Sirius _told_ her?

"Let's go," Sirius said, steering them away from the wreckage. "You don't need to see this anymore."

* * *

James waited until they were in Sirius's flat before rounding on his friend. "What exactly did Olivia mean about keeping us safe?" he snapped.

"What are you talking about?" Sirius asked.

Realizing that this conversation wouldn't be good, Lily took Harry through to James's old bedroom without saying a word to the two men. She doubted they would even notice that she was gone. She closed the door behind her, preparing to wait out the battle between the two friends.

"Olivia just said she'd do anything to keep us safe!" James spat. "She clearly knows that we're in danger! Why did you have to tell her?"

"James, honestly, sometimes you really just don't think," Sirius snapped. "She _obviously_ knows that you're in danger – so does everyone else who lives anywhere remotely near you! Your house is currently lying in a pile of rubble all over the street! If that's not a clear sign that someone has it in for you and Lily, then I don't know what is!"

James ran his hand through his hair. "You didn't tell her about the prophecy?"

"_No_," Sirius said firmly. "It's not my place to tell anyone. Harry is your son – you get to decide who knows what about him."

James took a shaky breath, and ran his hand through his hair again. "I'm sorry, Padfoot," he said at last. "I didn't mean to blow up at you like that. I know you'd never tell Olivia, or anyone else for that matter."

"Don't worry about it," Sirius replied. "You've just gone through a pretty horrific ordeal."

"Yeah," James said softly. "Did you mean what you said earlier? About us being able to make our new house – whenever we find it – more secure?"

"Of course," Sirius grinned. "You know as well as I do that even Flitwick was amazed by Lily's ability with charms. I'm sure she can learn some new charms to protect the house." He paused. "And Olivia made a good point, too. I'm sure we can convince Moody to have some Aurors stand guard."

James shook his head. "Let's leave that as a last resort. I don't want to feel like my family lives under house arrest."

Sirius nodded. "All right, then."

"We need to start looking for a new house," James said.

"Where do you want to look?"

"Not in Diagon Alley."

They both looked up as Lily entered the room, holding Harry close. She looked at them almost defiantly.

"I'm not living in Diagon Alley anymore," she said firmly. "I can't. It's too dangerous. They know that we live here now – this is the first place they're going to look for us!"

"All right," James said soothingly. "We don't have to live in Diagon Alley." He thought for a moment. "What about Hogsmeade?"

"Hogsmeade?"

"Yeah. It's still a wizarding village, but it's bigger than Diagon Alley, so they'll have a harder time finding us. Plus, it's always crowded, so we'll be able to blend in pretty easily."

"It's a good idea, Little Flower," Sirius put in. "James is right."

She nodded. "All right. Let's start looking for houses there."

"And until you find a house, you're staying here," Sirius said.

"Sirius, we can't impose," Lily protested.

"Impose?" he repeated. "Are you kidding? It's not an imposition. You're family." He smiled, and crossed to take Harry from his mother's arms. "Besides, it'll give me more time to spend with my little godson."

James looked at Lily. "Speaking of, we'd better make that official."

Sirius took his eyes away from the baby to look at James. "Official?"

"Yes," Lily said. "We need to schedule Harry's baptism – and the sooner we can have it done, the better."

"We need to have you as his legal guardian as soon as possible," James said.

"Don't think like that," Sirius said sharply, realizing what they were trying to say. "_Nothing_ is going to happen to you two. You're going to be fine. You're going to live for over a hundred years, happily raising Harry and playing with your grandchildren."

Lily smiled. "I hope you're right, Sirius."

"So do I," James said grimly. "But after today . . . I'm not taking any chances."


	44. Turning Points

A/N: I'm so sorry, guys! I thought I'd have this chapter done before the end of break, but obviously, that didn't happen. So, I'm back in Spain, and we're back to the sporadic updates. I'm going to try for updates every Friday like I did before, but as I'm now starting a mini-thesis and closing in on finals, I'm not certain that it will be possible. So, please bear with me and have patience! Believe me, I want to update even more than you want me to – it all comes down to how much time I have to write. On the plus side, this is a very long chapter, so maybe it'll hold you over for a little while!

I do want to clear up one point that I think confused a lot of people – Harry is only one _month_ old. The birthday that they celebrated was his _one-month_ birthday, not his _one-year_ birthday. They'll have a considerably larger party for that one! Sorry if I confused you!

Thanks for reading and reviewing! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Turning Points

_Perfect by nature,_

_Icons of self-indulgence_

_Just what we all need_

_More lies about a world _

_That never was and never will be_

_Have you no shame? _

_Don't you see me?_

_You know you've got everybody fooled_

_Without the mask_

_Where will you hide?  
Can't find yourself_

_Lost in your lies_

_I know the truth now_

_I know how you are_

_And I don't love you anymore_

_- Everybody's Fool, _Evanescence

Sirius, James and Lily were still sitting in the living room when Sirius's fireplace jumped to life. They all sprang to their feet, pulling their wands up in front of them. Sirius, who had been holding Harry, practically threw him at Lily.

"Go hide," he commanded. "I'll take care of whoever it is."

Lily instantly obeyed, taking the baby out of the room. She had only made it into the hall when she realized that James wasn't with her.

"James, come on!" she yelled.

"Get out of here, Prongs," Sirius said earnestly.

"I'm staying with you," James said stubbornly, holding his wand steady in front of him.

"Don't be a prat, Potter!" Sirius spat. "They've already tried to kill you once today. Don't make this easy for them! Leave it to me!"

"This is my _family_, Sirius!" James exclaimed. "I want to defend them."

"What makes you think they'd hesitate to kill _you_?" Sirius said. "I can take care of myself. This is what I get paid to do everyday."

"I know how to duel, too, you know. In case you've forgotten, I did all that Order training with you."

"James, _please_," Lily begged from the archway that divided the living room from the hall that led to the bedrooms. "_Please_, come with Harry and me. We don't want to lose you."

James turned to face her, ready to refuse again. But, when he looked into her eyes that were shining with tears, he knew he couldn't make her hide alone. Not when she was so scared. Not when she asked him to come with her with tears in her eyes like that. He slowly lowered his wand and nodded.

James had no sooner agreed than the figure in the fireplace became visible, spinning closer and closer. Sirius gripped his wand firmly, ready for battle.

"_Run_!" he said insistently.

James ran to join Lily and Harry. They rushed down the hall and into James's old bedroom, slamming the door shut behind them. Lily performed the five strongest locking charms she knew, one right after the other.

"How did they find us already?" she asked in a shaky voice as she lowered herself onto the bed.

"I don't know," James said, shaking his head. He sat down next to her, and took her hand in his.

They fell silent, expecting to hear the shouts of curses and spells being exchanged. They never heard them. They listened carefully, more terrified by the silence than they would have been by a loud battle. The first thing that they did hear made them exchange a look of disbelief.

"Lils, undo this locking charm," Sirius said with laughter in his voice. "We were wrong, James. Your mother is no threat to any of us."

"My mother?" James said, jumping to his feet.

Lily quickly undid the locking charms, and the door sprang open. Sirius and Mrs. Potter were standing together in the doorway. While Sirius was laughing at their mistake, Mrs. Potter's face was ashen. She crossed the room quickly, and pulled James into a crushing embrace.

"Thank God," she muttered. "Thank God." She released him, and frowned up at him. "Didn't it occur to you to let me know that you were all right?"

"What?" James asked blankly.

She shook her head. "I'll take that as a no. James, all I heard was that your house had been destroyed! No one that I talked to knew anything about you, or Lily, or the baby! I thought that you were all dead! I came here hoping that Sirius might know something, given that he's an Auror." Her voice became more agitated with each word. "Thank goodness I did! I might have started planning your funeral before you thought to let me know that you were safe!"

"Mum, I'm sorry," James said softly. "I didn't think – "

"That's rather obvious."

James shook his head, and hugged her again. "I'm fine," he said. "Lily and Harry are fine, too. We were at the park when they hit the house."

"Thank God," Mrs. Potter said again.

She stepped away from James, and crossed to Lily. She touched Lily's cheek, smiling at her, and then took Harry from her arms. She cuddled the baby close, kissing the top of his head.

"I can't believe this happened on his birthday," she said. "One month old, and he's had his first attempt on his life."

James and Lily looked at one another nervously. To date, Sirius was the only one who knew about the prophecy. What would make her suggest that this was an attempt on _Harry's_ life?

She watched them closely, and nodded. "All right, out with it. Why did this happen?"

"Mum . . ." James said slowly.

"Don't 'Mum' me like that," she angrily. "It's obvious that you two knew that something like this would happen. This is more than just being Order members. If that were the case, you wouldn't be at Sirius's house right now – if they're after Order members, he's in as much danger as you are. I want to know why your house is in ruins. What aren't you two telling me?"

James sighed, and ran his hand through his hair. "You'd better sit down."

Mrs. Potter obediently sat down. She arranged the baby in her lap, and looked up at her son expectantly.

James pulled out his desk chair, and sat down facing his mother. "Harry's in danger, Mum."

"Harry?" she asked with a frown. "But he's just a baby."

"He's potentially a very powerful baby," James said. "Dumbledore told us of a prophecy that was made about a month before Harry was born, saying that the one with the power to defeat Voldemort would be born at the end of July."

"James, over a hundred babies were born in London alone at the end of July," Mrs. Potter interrupted. "What makes you think that our Harry is this one that the prophecy names?"

"The prophecy said that this baby would be born to parents who have defied Voldemort three times," James clarified. "That brings the number of possibilities down to two."

Fear filled her eyes as she thought of all that her son and daughter-in-law had done to fight Voldemort before their son's birth. "Harry and . . .?"

"Neville Longbottom."

"Frank and Alice's son?"

"Yes."

She exhaled slowly, and ran her hand over Harry's head. "But which of them is it?"

James shrugged. "The prophecy said that Voldemort has to mark him as his equal. So, whichever one he picks."

"Apparently, he's picked Harry," Mrs. Potter said nervously, pulling the baby closer.

Lily shook her head. "He doesn't know that part. He only knows that Harry and Neville are threats to him. So, that means that at this point, he's probably trying to . . . hurt both of them."

Mrs. Potter closed her eyes and pressed her lips together. She shook her head as though trying to ward off what she was hearing.

"I'm sorry we didn't tell you sooner, Mum," James said softly.

"How long have you known about this?" she whispered, opening her eyes again.

"Dumbledore told us earlier this month," James admitted.

"And you're just telling me now?"

"We didn't want anyone to know, really," Lily said. "We wanted to try to keep it from Voldemort for as long as we could."

"But now he knows."

"Now he knows," James agreed.

"What have you done to protect Harry?"

"I'm going to protect our new house with as many security charms as I can," Lily replied. "But the most important thing we've done is to give Harry a godfather who will protect him to the death – one of the most powerful wizards we know."

Mrs. Potter looked up at Sirius, who nodded.

"They asked me right after they found out," he affirmed. "You can trust me to protect Harry."

"I know I can," she replied. She lifted the baby up to kiss him. "There's no one I'd rather see as his godfather. I know you'll do everything you can for him, Sirius."

He smiled. "I love him like he's my own son."

"And that's why we trust you," Lily smiled.

"All right," Mrs. Potter said at last. "I can understand why you didn't want to tell me. That's fine. But we need to make sure you're safe right now. Let me take you home with me. You can stay with me until you find a new house. Goodness knows I have the room."

"We're going to stay here with Sirius, Mum," James said.

She looked surprised. "You've already made arrangements?"

James smiled. "Well, we didn't reserve a room or anything, but Sirius has offered." He paused. "We don't want to put you in danger, Mum, and right now, wherever we live is not the safest place in the world. I'd rather know that we're here and that you're safe."

She shook her head. "If you're sure it's what you want to do . . ."

"We're sure."

"All right," she agreed. "But you have to promise to check in with me every day. I need to know that _you're_ safe, James – all of you."

"We will," James grinned. "I promise."

"Laura, there's been another attack. We need someone to collect statements from the witnesses. Can you go?"

Laura looked up at Sean Davies, her supervisor, who was standing in the doorway of her office. "I suppose so. What happened?"

"A house was destroyed. We don't have word other than that."

Laura sighed, wishing they knew more, and nodded. "All right, then. Where am I going?"

"It's in the residential section of Diagon Alley," he replied. "I have the address here." He pulled a piece of parchment from his pocket, and began reading off the address he had written down.

Nothing could have prepared Laura for the shock of hearing Sean give her James and Lily's address. She gasped, and her face blanched white. She was thankful she was sitting down at her desk. She was certain that she would have fallen if she had been standing.

"Are you all right?" Sean asked with concern, watching her reaction.

"That's my friends' house," she said in a strangled voice. "I can't – I don't – I'm sorry, but do you mind if I sit this one out?"

"No, that's fine" Sean replied, flinching slightly. "Do you want to go make sure your friends are all right?"

"We don't have any details about survivors?"

"Nothing yet."

_Nothing._ Tears filled her eyes, and she bit her lip. "Can I go check on them, then?"

"Take the rest of today off," Sean said instantly. He hesitated, the continued. "If – if it's not the outcome you were hoping for, take as much time as you need."

"Thanks," she said, jumping up from behind her desk. She had to find Remus. He would know what had happened.

"Laura," Sean said suddenly.

"Yes?" Laura asked as she grabbed her Floo powder.

He looked at her with eyes full of compassion. "I'm sorry."

She smiled sadly. "Hopefully I won't need the sentiments, but thank you."

Without waiting for a reply, she ran all the way to the Ministry fireplaces. She raced to the first open one, screaming her own address as she threw the glittering powder into the grate.

Within moments, she was climbing out of the fireplace in her kitchen. Coughing, she brushed the soot off her robes.

"Remus?" she yelled. "Remus, where are you? _Remus_!"

When she didn't receive an instant response, panic seized her. She began to run through the house.

"REMUS!" she yelled over and over as she passed from one room to the next.

"Laura?" Remus came in through the back door just as Laura re-entered the kitchen, brushing dirt from their garden off his hands. "What are you doing home?"

"Where are James and Lily?" she asked without answering his question.

Surprised crossed his face. "I don't know. Should I?"

"Sean just tried to send me to their house. They've been attacked."

"What?" Remus whispered. The color drained from his face, and he grabbed the back of the nearest chair to keep him on his feet. "James and Lily . . . How is that possible?"

"I don't know," she said, nearly in hysterics. "Sean didn't have any details – What if – Oh, God, Remus, we have to find out what happened!"

"All right," he said softly, crossing to hug her close. "We'll find out. Come on. Let's get over there. Even if – even if we can't find them right away, Sirius and Olivia will probably be there with the Aurors. They'll know what's going on."

Laura nodded her agreement. "We can't Apparate. I'm just – I can't do that right now."

"All right," Remus said again. "Let's Floo to Sirius's place, then. We can go from there."

"All right," Laura agreed. "Let's go."

"Again?" Sirius asked in shock as the fireplace again jumped to life.

"I don't know how much more of this I can take," Lily said shakily. "My nerves are pretty well shot."

Sirius picked up his wand. "Go," he said in a voice that invited no dispute.

Without even pausing, James picked up Harry from his blanket on the floor and followed Lily down the hall to the bedrooms. Sirius waited, facing the fireplace with his wand drawn. As the first person stepped out of his fire, he lowered his wand.

"Remus," he said with a smile. "I thought you were a Death Eater."

"Where are James and Lily?" Remus asked, terror written on his face.

Laura clambered out behind him, her own countenance equally horror-struck. "Are they all right?"

"Why are you here?" Remus asked. "Shouldn't you be out looking for the people who attacked them?"

"Which question would you like answered first?"

Laura and Remus looked at each other, and reached out to take one another's hands.

"Are you trying to tell us to prepare ourselves?" Remus asked.

Sirius shook his head. "James, Lily and Harry are fine," he said soothingly. "They're here – when we saw someone Flooing in, I sent them to hide."

"They're all here?" Laura repeated.

"They're all right?" Remus asked again.

"Let me show you," Sirius said. "Come on."

He led them down the hall to James's former bedroom, and knocked on the door.

"False alarm," he called. "It's Remus and Laura."

They could hear Lily's voice removing locking charms, and the door opened to reveal Lily standing in front of it with her wand in her hand. James was on the bed, holding Harry. Laura gave a glad cry at the sight of them, and threw her arms around Lily.

"Good lord, James," Remus smiled, coming forward to shake his friend's hand, "you nearly scared us to death."

"I'm sorry," James said. "We didn't think to tell anyone what had happened. I guess news travels fast, huh?"

"You could say that," Remus said, leaning down to kiss Harry. "Laura heard about it at work."

Laura joined James and Harry. "What happened, exactly?"

"We don't know," Lily said, hugging Remus. "We were out with Harry, and when we came home, our house had been destroyed."

"Moody told Liv and I, and we went to help," Sirius added. "Unfortunately, I left the scene, so I don't know anymore than the rest of you do."

"Where is Liv?" Remus asked.

"Still there," Sirius said. "She stayed to help with the investigation."

Remus nodded. "Do you think you were targeted because you're Order members?"

James and Lily exchanged a look.

"No," Lily said slowly. "We think it's because of Harry."

"Harry?" Laura asked blankly, running her hand over the baby's head. "Why?"

James sighed, and explained the prophecy for the second time that day. Remus and Laura listened in silence, their faces stricken.

"So you're telling us that _Harry_ will be the one to defeat Voldemort?" Remus asked at last.

"He's got a good shot," James said. He shook his head, and looked down at the little boy who had fallen asleep in his arms. "It's really tough to believe, but if Dumbledore is willing to buy it, we have to be, too."

"True," Remus said. He looked at Sirius. "You knew about this?"

Sirius nodded. "James and Lily have asked me to be Harry's godfather," he said slowly.

"Oh," Remus said, trying desperately to think of something else to add. "Well, congratulations."

"Don't be offended that we didn't ask you, Moony," James said earnestly. "It's just – when it comes down to it, I think you have a lot on your plate right now with everything that's going on with Laura. Look, I know she's going to be fine again long before Harry's grown up, but I also know that you've been talking about having children of your own, and – well, if anything _does_ happen to Lily and I, Harry's guardian is going to be a serious target. We can't ask you to put your life on the line for us like that – not when you want to start your own family."

Sirius grinned. "I, on the other hand, have nothing to lose."

"Sirius," Lily said in exasperation.

"No, I know what he's trying to say," Remus said slowly. "I know what you're both trying to say."

"You understand, then?" James asked anxiously.

"Yes," Remus smiled. "I understand."

"We still want you to be a major part of Harry's life," James said. "I mean, you're one of my best friends, Remus. You've been with me since the beginning and – "

"James, it's all right," Remus interrupted, smiling wider. "I really do understand."

James put the baby down on the bed, and stood up to hug Remus. "Thank you," he said.

"Thank _you_," Remus said, returning the embrace. He released his friend, and smiled at him. "You'd better let Dana and Peter know that you're all right. Like you said, news travels fast."

Peter looked up as an owl flew into the shop. He put down the boxes he had been carrying out of the storeroom, and watched as the bird landed on the counter. He recognized it at once as Owl, James's aging bird.

"Hey, Owl," he smiled. "Did you bring me a message from James?"

He took the letter from the bird, and it took flight again. Peter opened the letter, and began to read.

"_Hey, Peter,_

"_I don't know if you've heard anything about it yet, but our house was attacked by Death Eaters today. Lily, Harry and I are fine, so please don't worry about us. We weren't even home when it happened. The house is destroyed, though. We're going to have to start looking for another one tomorrow. I don't want to say where we're staying, just in case this is intercepted, but please know that we're fine. _

"_I'll be in touch. _

"_James."_

Peter's hands shook as he read the message for a second time. He had done this. Even if he hadn't been a part of the actual attack, he had given the Dark Lord their address.

"But they're fine," he muttered to himself. "They weren't even there. They're fine."

Smiling to himself, he put the letter in his pocket. They were fine, and now he didn't even know where they were. If the Dark Lord asked, he could honestly tell him that he had no idea where to find the Potters. He smiled wider. He had nothing to worry about.

Both Sirius and James went to work the next day. They offered to stay home with Lily and Harry, but she refused.

"I can take care of myself and the baby," she said. "James, it's your first day of school. You can't miss this."

"The kids won't be there until this evening," James protested. "I can stay home with you for most of the day."

"No," she insisted. "I know how much work you have to do. Just go to Hogwarts – at least I'll know that you're safe there."

"But how will I know that _you're _safe?" James asked.

"I'll stay home with her," Sirius said at once.

"No, you won't," Lily replied. "You're both overreacting. Harry and I will be fine!"

"Lil, have you already forgotten that you were nearly _killed_ yesterday?" Sirius asked in exasperation. "You're in a very dangerous place right now!"

"They're not going to find us this quickly," Lily said dismissively. "We'll be fine."

"You're not going to let us try to help you, are you?" Sirius asked in defeat.

"No," Lily smiled.

Sirius looked from her to James. "You know, ever since you guys started dating, I thought that you two proved the 'opposites attract' thing. Now, I can see how similar you are – you're too of the most stubborn people I know!"

"Should I be insulted?" Lily laughed.

Sirius looked over at Harry, who was lying on a blanket on the floor. "I sincerely hope that you haven't inherited that from Mum and Dad, Harry, but I'm afraid that you might have. With two parents this stubborn, you're doomed."

They all laughed, and the two men grudgingly agreed to go to work. They both kissed Harry and Lily goodbye.

"I have to stay for the opening feast, so I'll be home late," James cautioned. "If you need anything, you know where to find me."

"I'll be _fine_," Lily insisted. "Harry and I will find plenty to do today."

And so they left Lily and the baby alone. Lily looked at her son and sighed.

"We really need to talk to Father O'Leary," she informed him. "What do you say we go over to the church today?" She lifted the baby into her arms, and kissed his cheek. "We need to get you baptized."

Peter didn't even flinch when he felt the burning pain in his arm, summoning him to the Dark Lord. Perhaps he had been expecting it. This time he felt extremely confident about their meeting. He knew that he had no information that would help the Dark Lord find his friends. Without thinking twice, he Disapparated.

"Peter," Voldemort said softly as he appeared in the office, "it has come to my attention that your friends are still alive."

"Yes, my Lord," Peter said slowly. "From what I understand, they were out when their house was attacked."

"Yes," Voldemort agreed. "But this puts me no closer to eliminating their son. Where can I find Harry Potter right now?"

"I don't know," Peter said.

"You don't know?" the Dark Lord repeated incredulously.

"No, I don't," Peter insisted.

"Well, I find that hard to believe. Why would they not tell a good friend such as yourself where they are?"

"They haven't told anyone, to my knowledge. They wanted to keep themselves safe."

It was the wrong thing to say. Voldemort's eyes narrowed; he waved his hand, sending Peter hurtling across the room. He hit a wall with a sickening thud, and slid down to the floor.

"Where are they, Peter?" the Dark Lord asked again.

Peter coughed, and reached up to touch the ribs that he was sure were broken. "I don't know," he nearly sobbed. "They didn't tell me!"

"Someone must know!"

Voldemort waved his hand again, and Peter was overcome by a wrenching pain. It wasn't the same pain as that of the Cruciatus curse; it was awful in an entirely different way. He screamed in pain, feeling the tears pour down his cheeks. What would he have to do to make it end?

"Are you ready to talk now?"

"I don't know where they are," Peter said again.

"Peter, do not make me kill you," Voldemort said in a low, threatening tone. "If you do not know where they are, then give me the name of someone who _does_."

Peter looked at him blankly. Who would know? He had to give him a name – anything to stop this torture.

"Sirius Black," he said finally. "Sirius Black will know where they are."

"Very well," Voldemort said, sitting back with a smile. He snapped his fingers, and another Death Eater entered the room. "Bring me Regulus Black."

"Yes, my Lord."

He turned back to Peter with a benign smile. "Thank you, Peter. You may go."

Still coughing, Peter struggled to stand. As he Disapparated, relief flooded through him. _Thank goodness it's over. They're safe._ Sirius would never tell the Dark Lord where their friends were hiding. He could do what Peter could not – he could resist the Dark Lord.

When Sirius came home, he found Lily at work in his kitchen, making dinner. He smiled at her, and began lifting the lids of the pots on the stove.

"What's all this about?"

"Welcome home," she smiled. "Since I'm not doing anything else right now, I thought I'd make dinner for us."

Sirius grinned. "Taking care of Harry isn't enough work for you?"

"Harry's napping right now," Lily replied. "And, if I'm honest, I was really just excited to have someone to have dinner with. James doesn't always stay for dinner at school, but he's always there for the feasts. September first is a sad and lonely evening for me."

"Well, then, I'm glad to have you here," Sirius grinned. "But you know, next year at this time, you'll have Harry to eat dinner with you." He frowned slightly. "He'll be able to eat solid foods by then, right?"

"Definitely," Lily smiled. "And that's a good point. I guess I will have him to eat dinner with me for awhile. But when he starts at Hogwarts, I'm right back to where I was last year – _both_ of my men will be at school."

Sirius grinned. "Poor Harry. That kid won't be able to get away with anything – James already knows every trick. He'll catch him every time."

"Good," Lily laughed. "I don't want my baby to be a troublemaker."

"What, like James and I were?" he teased.

"Exactly," she grinned as she began stirring the contents of the pots.

Sirius watched her for a moment. "Can I do something to help?"

"You can set the table."

"No problem."

Within fifteen minutes, Sirius and Lily were seated together at his kitchen table. Harry was with them, bouncing in the baby seat that Sirius had purchased the week before in an effort to have some baby things in his house to welcome Harry when he came to visit.

"So, what did you do with yourself today?" Sirius asked.

"I went to church."

Sirius's eyebrows shot up. "You left the house? Lils, do you realize how dangerous that was?"

"Yes," she said. "But I had to do it. I needed to talk to Fr. O'Leary."

He shook his head. "Sometimes you amaze me. You risked both your life and Harry's to talk to a priest?"

"I did it to _save_ Harry's life," Lily said softly. "I went to make arrangements for his baptism."

"His baptism?" Sirius repeated, raising his eyebrows. "And?"

"Well, it took some fast talking. We're supposed to go to the baptism classes before the actual event, but I convinced him to let us take the classes afterward. We've scheduled the ceremony for Saturday," she said. "Are you working?"

"In the evening."

"Good. We have to be there at nine in the morning. He's getting us in before the morning wedding."

"Does James know?"

"I sent him a message with Owl. He wrote back to say that he's fine with it."

"Good."

"You'll need a letter from the pastor of your church saying that you're Catholic," Lily added.

Sirius grinned. "Just don't tell my mother that – she'll find a way to prove to him that I'm not."

"Wasn't she at your baptism?" Lily giggled.

"And my First Communion and Confirmation," Sirius grinned. "But the woman is evil. She can do anything if she puts her mind to it."

Lily laughed. "I hope my son isn't talking about how evil I am when he's our age."

"He won't be." Sirius exhaled slowly. "Lil – are you sure you want to do this? You're sure you want me to be Harry's godfather?"

"I couldn't be more sure," she said firmly. "I agree with James – I trust you above nearly everyone I know." She paused, and looked deeply into his eyes. "Are _you_ sure you want to do this?"

"Positive," Sirius said without hesitation. "I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

"Then we agree," Lily smiled. "Saturday it is."

"You wanted to see me, my Lord?"

"Yes," Voldemort said slowly. He leaned forward, studying Regulus carefully. "I have a mission for you."

"I'll do anything I can to help the cause," Regulus said eagerly.

The Dark Lord smiled. "Good. I want you to kill Harry Potter."

Regulus frowned. "Harry Potter?" he repeated. "James Potter's son?"

"The very same."

"But he's just a baby, sir."

Voldemort's eyes narrowed. "Are you questioning me?"

"No, sir," Regulus said quickly. "I'm just surprised, that's all. Where will I find him?"

"Ask your brother."

"Sirius?"

"Yes, Sirius. From what I have been told, he will know where to find the Potter child. Go to your brother, find out where the child is, and kill him. You have seven days."

Regulus swallowed, knowing the consequences would be dire if he refused. "Yes, my Lord. I will do it."

Voldemort nodded. "You may go."

Regulus stepped out of the room, and walked down the long corridor that would lead him out of the Dark Lord's headquarters. His orders tumbled around in his mind. How would he ever be able to carry this out? Finding Sirius would be easy. Getting him to share the Potters' whereabouts would be more difficult.

Even more difficult was the idea of killing Harry Potter. Regulus had never murdered anyone; he hated the idea of his first victim being a baby. But it was too late now. He had given his word to the Dark Lord – there was no backing out at this point. He'd just have to go to Sirius, find out where the Potters were, and kill the baby. He had to go through with it. He had no choice.

Extreme confusion reigned in Sirius's flat on Saturday morning. Harry had awakened them all before six, which Lily pointed out wasn't necessarily a bad thing, considering that they had to be at the church by nine. They spent the intervening time running through the flat, trying to get themselves and the baby dressed and ready for the baptism.

At precisely nine o'clock, they walked into the church sedately, their serene appearance belying the hours spent straining to be there on time. Father O'Leary smiled as he watched them coming.

"Hello, Lily, James," he smiled, shaking their hands. He put his hand on Harry's head. "How are you today, Harry?"

The baby looked up at him solemnly with eyes that were starting to change from their initial blue to another yet-undefined color. He blinked, and Fr. O'Leary smiled. He looked up from the baby to Sirius.

"You must be the godfather," he smiled.

"I am," Sirius said, reaching out to shake his hand. "I'm Sirius Black."

"It's wonderful to meet you," Fr. O'Leary replied as he shook his hand. "You have the letter from your pastor?"

"Right here," Sirius replied, pulling the sealed envelope from his jacket pocket.

"Perfect. Thank you." The priest looked around as though searching for someone. "Is Harry's godmother on her way?"

"He doesn't have a godmother. It's just going to be Sirius," Lily said. "That is all right, isn't it? We just – we just wanted Sirius to be here."

The priest nodded slowly. "Yes, that's fine. Well, shall we begin?"

The ceremony was short, but poignant. As Sirius traced the sign of the cross on Harry's forehead, tears gathered in his eyes. He had meant the promises that he had made to James and Lily. Although he would fight for their lives with everything in them, he was ready to become Harry's guardian, should the need arise.

When it was over, and Harry was crying from the sudden rush of cool water that had hit his head, Sirius stepped away from the group. He went to the first pew, and knelt down on the kneeler. He slowly crossed himself, and bowed his head.

"I never thought I'd be a godfather," he prayed. "I never thought I could handle the responsibility. But now I know that I can, because I have to. God, I love this little boy so much, but I pray that I'll never need to step in as his father. Please, God, protect James and Lily. Keep them safe, and let them live to raise their son."

He raised his head, and looked to where his friends where playing with Harry, trying to make him stop crying. He sighed, and bowed his head again. "They love him so much, Father. Don't tear this family apart." He paused, and drew a shaky breath. "But, if you must, give me the strength to be the godfather that he needs. Give me the strength to – not to take their places in his life, but to raise him as they would have. Let me be the parental figure that he deserves to have in his life." He exhaled, feeling somehow calmer, and crossed himself again. "Amen."

"Good morning, Godfather Sirius."

Sirius smiled. "Good morning, Mummy Lily," he replied. "You seem happy this morning."

"I am," Lily smiled as she sat down across from Sirius at the table. "I feel so much better today, now that we have Harry baptized." She smiled, and touched his hand. "Thank you for doing this for us."

"You don't need to keep thanking me, Little Flower" Sirius smiled. "I want to do it. Besides, he's an easy baby to love."

"You obviously have a silencing charm on your room," James said as he came into the kitchen, having heard Sirius's last comment. He yawned. "Didn't he wake you up at exactly midnight, ten thirty-one, two thirteen, and five twenty-five?"

Sirius laughed. "Way to convince me to have children, Prongs."

"Do you have silencing charm on your room?" James asked again.

"That's a credit to my ability," Sirius grinned. "The last time I put one up was before Remus moved out, and he's been married awhile now."

"You're good, then," James agreed as he dropped himself down into a chair. "Have you made coffee yet?"

"Yes."

"Brilliant. You always make it strong." James waved his wand, summoning a cup of the warm, caffeine-loaded beverage to him. He took a sip, and nodded. "I love this stuff."

"Well, I aim to please," Sirius laughed. "What are your plans for today?"

"Actually, we're going to look for a new house," Lily said.

"Really? Where?"

"Not Diagon Alley," Lily said at once. "I can't handle the idea of living here anymore – not after what's happened."

"We're thinking of Hogsmeade," James said. "It's bigger, and more people live there, so it'll be easy for us to blend in." He grinned. "And, with my own personal gain in mind, it's closer to Hogwarts, so I can walk to work."

"It'll be better for you to be closer to Dumbledore, in any case," Sirius added. "And Remus and Laura live there, so you'll have friends close." He nodded. "You should definitely start there. That's what you're planning to do today then?"

"Yes," James said, "if we can enlist you for your first official duty as godfather."

"What would that be?"

"Can you babysit Harry while we're gone?"

Sirius grinned. "I'd love to."

"Perfect. We're going to leave right after breakfast, then."

Regulus stood outside his brother's flat for a full fifteen minutes before knocking on the door. He truly didn't know how to ask him for the information he needed. Finally, summoning all his courage, he raised his hand to knock on the door.

Sirius opened it slowly, his wand held up in front of him. He lowered it as he recognized his brother. "Regulus," he said with a slight smile. "This is a surprise. Come in."

Sirius opened the door wider, and Regulus stepped into his brother's flat. He looked around curiously, surprised to find that not much had been changed since his last visit. He turned to Sirius with a smile.

"You're looking good," he said. "How have you been?"

"Fine," Sirius replied. "How about you?"

"Good," Regulus smiled. "It's been too long, Sirius."

Sirius nodded, and waved his hand at the living room. "Have a seat. Can I get you something to drink?"

"No, I'm fine," Regulus said as he sat down on the couch.

"All right." Sirius sat down across from him, and studied him for a moment. "Are you sure you're all right? You look a little off."

"Well, that's a nice thing to say to your brother."

"It's an honest thing to say," Sirius shot back.

"You always were too honest for your own good."

"I'm not quite sure how to take that," Sirius grinned.

The cry of a baby broke the silence that fell after Sirius's comment. Regulus jumped a foot, and looked at Sirius in shock.

"Maybe I didn't realize _how_ long it's been," he said. "I didn't know you had a baby."

Sirius grinned as he stood up. "I don't. That's my godson. I'm babysitting today. I'll go get him, and you can meet him."

"Great," Regulus said, swallowing hard.

As Sirius left the room, Regulus clasped his hands together nervously. What if . . . No, it was impossible. Sirius's godson couldn't be . . .

Sirius walked back into the living room with the now-calm baby in his arms. He beamed at the little boy, then looked at his brother.

"This is my godson, Harry Potter," he said proudly. "Harry, this is my brother, Regulus."

Harry regarded Regulus solemnly. Regulus swallowed again, and forced a smile.

"Well, he's clearly James Potter's baby," he said. "He looks quite a bit like him."

"James's mum said that he looks almost exactly like James did when he was a baby," Sirius replied. "He's a good little guy. Would you like to hold him?"

"Er – all right," Regulus agreed hesitantly.

Sirius grinned. "He won't bite – he doesn't even have teeth yet."

"I've never held a baby before," Regulus said as he took the baby in his arms.

"Never? Not even Nymphadora when she was a baby?"

"Andromeda's little girl?" Regulus asked as he adjusted the baby in arms. "No. I've actually never met her."

"You should," Sirius grinned. "She's a sweet little thing. She's about eight now."

"Have you met Narcissa's little boy?"

"Narcissa had a baby?" Sirius asked, raising his eyebrows.

"You didn't know?"

"I'm not exactly in the family loop anymore," Sirius replied.

"Oh, I guess you're not," Regulus conceded. "Well, she and Lucius just had a little boy, Draco – he's about six months old by now."

"Draco," Sirius repeated, shaking his head. "What a name."

"And Nymphadora is so much better?"

"Not at all," Sirius grinned. "Our family has some naming issues." He reached out to touch Harry's tiny hand. "This one, on the other hand, has a brilliant name."

Regulus smiled again, and looked down at the baby. "How old is he?"

"Just over one month," Sirius replied. He smiled. "He's turning me into a family man. Do you see the baby things in here? I actually bought them myself – his parents didn't bring any of this over except the stroller."

Regulus looked around the flat again, this time noting all that his eyes had skimmed over the first time – the baby swing suspended in the archway between the living room and kitchen, the playpen tucked in the corner, the toys scattered throughout the room. Everything – everything in this house spoke of how much his brother loved this little baby. He swallowed hard.

"I didn't think you were the family sort," he said slowly.

"I never was, but with Harry . . . I don't know, Regulus. He makes me want to have kids of my own someday. He's such a great kid. I'm so proud to be his godfather."

Regulus swallowed again. The fact that he had promised the Dark Lord that he would eliminate this child didn't matter anymore. He couldn't do it. He couldn't kill his brother's godson. He couldn't break Sirius's heart like that. He just couldn't.

When he left Sirius's house, Regulus Apparated to Voldemort's headquarters. He would not wait for the Dark Lord to summon him. He would face him like a man.

He walked into the office without knocking, and found the Dark Lord talking to Severus Snape. They both looked up at him in surprise as he entered.

"Regulus," Voldemort said, folding his hands together, "your presence here suggests that you have brought me news. Have you managed to destroy the child?"

"No," Regulus said, summoning all the courage he possessed – all the courage that had made the Sorting Hat consider putting him in Gryffindor during his first year at Hogwarts.

He thought back to that moment when, as a scared eleven-year-old, he had refused the Hat's suggestion. He had wanted to be in Slytherin, and into Slytherin he went. Now, for the first time, he began to wonder if he should have listened to the Hat's advice and wisdom.

"No?" Voldemort repeated. "Why have you come into my office, interrupting my meeting, only to tell me that you have not yet achieved you mission?"

"I've come to tell you that I will not be completing my mission," Regulus said bravely. "I can't do it, sir."

"What did you just say?" Voldemort hissed, his face contorting into a terrifying scowl.

"I cannot kill my brother's godson," Regulus said. "Harry Potter means the world to Sirius. I can't do this to him. I can't take that little boy away from him." He drew a deep breath. "If you want Harry Potter dead, sir, you're going to have to find someone else to kill him for you."

"And that is your final decision, then?"

"Yes, it is."

"Very well."

Regulus's eyebrows shot up. He had never expected that this would be so easy. He smiled.

Voldemort picked up his wand from his desk. "_Avada Kedavra_."

Regulus barely had time to register the green light before the curse hit him. Snape watched in horror as his childhood friend fell to the floor. He couldn't tear his eyes away from those of his friend, which were open wide in shock.

Voldemort shook his head. "Pity. He's always been a faithful Death Eater. Severus, get rid of the body."

Snape barely heard the command, but he did as he was told. He levitated Regulus's body out of the office, into the corridor. He took it to the building's morgue, leaving it on a cold slab.

"My God," he muttered. "He killed you for trying to defend your brother – for not killing James Potter's son."

Snape's face twisted as the full weight of what he had just seen hit him. Everything he had heard recently – the prophecy, the struggle to uncover which child would be the one to vanquish the Dark Lord, the command to kill Harry Potter, Regulus murdered for his refusal to do so . . . As he thought of all that had happened, it all fell together. Severus's eyes widened as the realization struck him.

"Harry Potter is the one with the power to destroy the Dark Lord," he whispered in shock. "Regulus was killed for defending him. Harry, James, Lily – they're all in danger."

He didn't know if he was supposed to return to the Dark Lord's office. In that moment, he didn't even think about it. He knew whom he needed to talk to. He didn't hesitate another moment before he Disapparated.

"We have a house!"

Sirius, who was lying on the couch with Harry asleep on his chest, smiled. "Where?"

"Hogsmeade," James replied as he dropped down into the loveseat across from the couch. "It's great. It has two floors, three bedrooms, and a huge yard for Harry to play in. We may even have to get him a dog to play with in all that space!"

Sirius grinned. "It sounds perfect. Is it officially yours?"

"Not yet," James admitted. "We have to go talk to the bank about a new loan tomorrow."

"With a name like Potter, it shouldn't be a problem," Lily said as she entered the room. She sat down with James, smiling at the picture of Harry and Sirius lying together. "How was Harry?"

"Fine," Sirius grinned. "He's a good kid."

"So you two had a good time together?"

"Yeah, we did." Sirius frowned slightly. "We did have an unexpected visitor, though."

"Who would that have been?"

"Regulus."

"Your brother?" Lily frowned.

"The very same," Sirius said.

"Why was he here?" James asked.

"I have no idea," Sirius said. "He said something about it having been too long since we had seen one another."

James looked uncomfortable. "Sirius, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but do you think that he was here for . . . less than honorable reasons?"

"Such as?"

James shrugged. "He's a Death Eater, Sirius. He wasn't here for Harry, was he?"

"Harry? No, there's no way," Sirius said quickly. "He didn't even know that I'm Harry's godfather. He was shocked to find out that I had a baby here."

"He saw Harry, then?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, he woke up and started crying right after Regulus got here. I introduced them, of course. Regulus liked the little guy." He sighed. "I don't think he was here to kill Harry. Believe me, he had the opportunity."

"All the same, I don't like the idea of a Death Eater knowing that we're here," James said uncomfortably. "No offense, Sirius, but the sooner we're moved into our new house, the better."

"Professor Dumbledore, do you have a moment?"

"Of course." Dumbledore put the parchment he had been writing on aside, giving his guest his full attention. "How can I help you, Severus?"

"Sir, I just saw something that greatly disturbed me," Snape said as he entered the Headmaster's office fully. "I'd like to tell you about it, if I may."

"Does in concern the students?"

"No," Snape replied. "It concerns the war and the Potters."

Dumbledore nodded, his face giving nothing away. "Very well. Go ahead."

"Sir, you know what I am," Snape said a bit uncomfortably. "You know what I've done in my life."

"Yes, Severus, I am aware that you are a Death Eater," Dumbledore said quietly. "While I cannot support your decision, and I pray that you will change your mind, I know too that you are an excellent teacher, and that I cannot deny my students your expertise."

Snape nodded slowly. "After what I saw today, I may be changing my status as a Death Eater."

"Oh?"

Snape nodded. "I saw a man killed for standing up for what he believed in."

"Isn't that what this war is all about?"

"Yes – but, normally those who are killed die at the hands of their enemies."

"And this man did not?"

He shook his head. "Regulus Black was ordered to kill Harry Potter." He paused, and looked into the Headmaster's eyes. "You know that Harry will be the one to defeat the Dark Lord?"

"I know that he is potentially the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord, yes," Dumbledore agreed. "Voldemort knows of this as well?"

"Yes. As I said, he ordered Regulus to kill the boy. I was in the Dark Lord's office when Regulus came in to report to him today."

Dumbledore's eyes opened wide. "Has he killed Harry Potter?"

"No," Snape said quickly. "He came in and said that he could not kill his brother's godson. He refused to kill the boy because he had seen how much Sirius loved him."

"And this cost Regulus Black his life?"

"Yes." Snape swallowed, seeing his friend's body falling lifelessly to the floor again in his mind. "He told the Dark Lord that he would not kill the boy, and he was killed for it."

"And this has disturbed you?"

"Yes. Regulus was my friend – he has been my friend ever since his first year at Hogwarts. And Harry . . ."

"And Harry?" Dumbledore prompted.

"James Potter did one decent thing in his life, and that was to come to my rescue when Sirius Black tried to kill me," Snape said, his anger simmering just below the surface. "Even though every other thing he did demonstrated his arrogance and his self-righteousness, that one thing has bound me to him. If that means that I am also bound to his son, then so be it."

"What are you trying to say, Severus?" Dumbledore asked softly.

"I want to help you defend Harry Potter," Snape said firmly. "I want to help you keep the Potters alive. I am will to leave the Dark Lord's legion to do that."

Dumbledore looked at him for a long minute. "Are you absolutely sure this is what you want to do?"

"Yes."

He nodded. "Severus, I am going to ask you to think this over for one week. Right now you are still reeling from seeing your friend die. If you do want to join us, I will be more than thrilled to have you, but I want to be sure that this is truly what you want. Do you understand why I am asking this of you?"

Snape nodded. "Yes, sir, I understand."

"Good." Dumbledore looked away from him for a moment, then turned his eyes on the professor again. "Severus, I believe that you are a very accomplished legimens?"

"Yes, sir, I am."

He nodded. "We can use that to our advantage."

"Sir?"

He smiled. "I will explain when we speak next week. Just be sure not to sever your ties within the Death Eater organization. They may become useful in the future."


	45. Actions and Consequences

A/N: I'm sorry I'm late with this chapter! I seriously just haven't had time to get it done. But I think it's worth the wait – I'm pleased with the way it turned out.

Okay, I have good news and bad news. I'll give you the good news first: I'll be done with this Master's program on 30 May! I leave Spain on 31 May, after which point I'll be home for the summer and updating as quickly as possible until I hit the end of the story! Now for the bad news: I may not be able to update again until after the end of May. I'm going to try to get one more chapter…_maybe_ two… out before my entire life is devoted to final papers, projects and exams, but I'm not making any promises, since that devotion is pretty much upon me now. I'm so sorry! Believe me, I wish it could be different even more than you do.

Just to mix it up this time, I'm going to do review responses…some of your questions were really good, and I want to answer them for you. Only people who asked questions are getting responses, but a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed! You're the best! Oh, I'm going to try to do this from now on, so if you have questions, ask away!

**Sweetness0984**: No, it didn't occur to Sirius that Regulus would be there for an evil reason. He always hoped that his brother would turn his life around, and was never willing to see the "bad guy" in him. So for that reason, he didn't have any problem letting him in and introducing him to Harry.

**MPPSexySiriusJamesRemus**: This is the reaction chapter – well, the first part at least! Enjoy!

**Deni**: Thanks – I love you too! ;-) I'm 25…shudder…thanks for the reminder! Kidding – but I just turned 25 at the end of February, so I'm just now getting used to it.

**Alyssia**: Sirius and Olivia are coming up. Don't worry – I haven't forgotten them!

**Panther28**: Yes, as far as Sirius is concerned, his brother wasn't important enough for Voldemort to have killed him. But, Sirius doesn't have all the details – the only one who does is Snape, and I don't see them having "sharing time" soon. Read on; hopefully it'll be cleared up a bit in this chapter.

**paige-rossi-black**: Unfortunately, some of the most horrible people in the world are also the most religious. Fanatical fundamentalists aside, I've definitely known quite a few people of the lowest moral and ethical values who aren't allowed to read / won't let their children read _Harry Potter_ because it is "evil" and against their religious beliefs. For this reason, I can believe that the Black family was religious enough to have their sons go through all their Church sacraments even though they advocated Voldemort's cause. Additionally, I've made their family and Lily and James Catholic because I am, so I'm most familiar with it. One requirement of baptism in the Catholic Church is that at least one godparent be Catholic – since Sirius is Harry's only godparent, he has to be.

**obsessedwithharrypotter**: Sadly, Snape has indeed come over to join the "good guys." It was tough to do, but it's documented in canon, so I had no choice. ;-) I'm sure he'll be good as a good guy, too!

Thanks again to everyone else who reviewed, and to those of you who just read! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Actions and Consequences

_Is there anyone out there? _  
'_Cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe__  
-Harder to Breathe,_ Maroon Five

"Are you sure you like the lamps?"

"They're great," James smiled as he used his wand to unlock Sirius's door. "I like them more than the ones we had in the living room before."

"Really?"

James grinned, and gave his wife a sidelong glance. "Do I detect a hint of buyer's remorse?"

"Maybe a hint of buyer's uncertainty," Lily laughed. "But that's the whole house, right? We have enough furniture that we can move in tomorrow like we planned?"

"I think we do. I just hope that Harry likes everything." James looked around the empty living room. "Padfoot? Are you home?" He looked at Lily with raised eyebrows. "Tell me he didn't take our son and leave the country."

Lily rolled her eyes. "He's probably in the kitchen trying to give Harry butterbeer."

James laughed. "Yeah, probably. I just hope he's sticking to butterbeer, and not giving him firewhiskey."

Lily shuddered. "Thanks, James. You really know how to make me feel like we left the baby in good hands."

"Everyone has to develop their tolerance sometime," James laughed. "Oh, come on, Lil, do you _really_ think Sirius would give Harry alcohol?"

"If I did, would have I wanted him to be Harry's godfather?" she grinned. "You know I trust him with our son."

They walked through the living room, into the kitchen. Sirius and Harry were both there, but neither was drinking butterbeer or any other form of alcohol. Harry was rocking in his swing, and Sirius was sitting at the table. His eyes were bloodshot, and he was holding his head in his hands.

"What happened?" James asked immediately. He sat down next to Sirius, gripping his shoulder. "Sirius? What's wrong?"

Sirius shook his head mutely.

"I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong," James said, shaking his friend's shoulder. "What's happened?"

"I think I can answer that."

Both James and Lily jumped, noticing for the first time the woman who was standing at the sink. She smiled sadly.

"Andromeda?" James asked incredulously.

"Yes, it's me," she said, trying to smile again. "How are you, James?"

"Great – I can't believe it – I haven't seen you in ages!"

"I know," she said. "I just wish I could be here for a happier reason."

The look on Andromeda's face was one of deep sorrow. Frightened just looking at her, Lily crossed to stand next to James, taking his free hand in hers.

"What's happened?" she asked nervously.

"I've just come from Narcissa's house," Andromeda said. "You know, my sister has barely spoken to me in years, but now that she has that baby, she's always asking for advice. So, Nymphadora and I went over to visit today to help with the baby. While we were there, Narcissa told me the family news."

"Which is?" James asked nervously.

Andromeda drew a deep breath. "Regulus has died."

"What?" James exclaimed. "How is that possible? He was . . ." He trailed off.

"He was a Death Eater," Sirius said hoarsely. "And it looks like that killed him."

"I don't have all the details," Andromeda said quickly. "But from what Narcissa had heard – or, rather, what she was willing to tell me – Regulus was killed for refusing an order given by You-Know-Who."

"Killed for refusing an order?" Lily asked with a frown. "You mean he was killed _by_ the Death Eaters?"

"That appears to be the situation," Andromeda said delicately. "The funeral is going to be held tomorrow. I'm going, Sirius, so if you want to go with me . . ."

"Of course I'll go," Sirius said hoarsely. He looked at James. "I know I promised you I'd help you move in, but –"

"Don't be silly," James said. "Your brother's funeral is far more important than helping us move."

"I still want to help," Sirius said. "Can you wait until the next day?"

"Sure," James said, glancing at Lily.

"We'll wait as long as you'd like, Sirius," Lily spoke.

"Thanks."

Andromeda smiled sadly. "I'm sorry to have to be the bearer of such horrible news. I wish things could have worked out differently."

"Stupid kid!" Sirius exclaimed, pounding his fist into the table. "I told him so many times that once he was in there was no turning back." He looked up at his cousin. "We both did, Andromeda! We both tried to talk him out of it! But he wouldn't listen. He just got in deeper and deeper, and now look at what it's done to him!"

"I know," Andromeda said softly. She came up behind Sirius's seated frame, and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "We did all we could, Sirius, but sometimes – sometimes, all you can do isn't quite enough." She swallowed, and pressed a kiss on top of his head. "We can't save everyone, Sirius. Some people just don't want to be saved."

* * *

Sirius arrived at the funeral home early the next morning. He wanted to get there before everyone else. He wanted some time with his brother before crowds of people arrived, offering their sympathy. He wanted to be alone before his parents came in, giving him looks of contempt. He couldn't handle that quite yet.

He went to the empty room where Regulus's casket sat. He walked up to it, and looked down at the still form of his younger brother.

"Regulus," he said softly. He swallowed hard. "Well, I never thought that it would come to this. I never thought you would be killed for refusing to do something that Voldemort demanded of you. All our lives, when Mum and Dad told you to jump, you asked how high. You didn't change at Hogwarts. You were in with those Slytherins so fast that it made my head spin. And I really do mean that. You have no idea how much grief Andromeda and I went through over you. All we wanted to do was to keep you away from that. All we wanted to do was to save you."

He looked down at Regulus's face, wishing that he would wake up and yell at him. He just barely stopped himself from shaking him. Regulus was beyond sleep – Sirius would never be able to wake him up again.

"I guess Andromeda was right," he said softly. "You didn't want to be saved then. And when you tried to save yourself, it was too late." He shook his head, and sighed. "I failed you. Some big brother I was."

He looked at his brother's face again, swallowing hard. He just barely managed to contain his tears. He couldn't look at Regulus like this anymore.

He stepped away, choosing a seat in the back of the room. A noise at the door attracted his attention, and he looked up to see Andromeda and her family walking in. He smiled, and rose to his feet.

"Sirius, you scared me. I didn't know you were there," Andromeda said, giving him a sad smile. She pulled him into a tight embrace. "How are you?"

"As well as can be expected," he said. He pulled back from her, and shook Ted's hand in greeting. Then he looked at Nymphadora with a smile.

"Hey, Dora," he said.

"Hi, Sirius," she grinned.

Andromeda rolled her eyes. Sirius had refused to call her daughter by her full name years ago, resorting to calling her by the nickname Dora. Ted loved it; he, too, had picked it up. Andromeda was the last one left calling the little girl by her full name.

Sirius crouched down to talk to his little cousin. "So, what's new with you?"

"Nothing," she said. Then her eyes lit up. "Oh, wait, I just learned to do this!"

A look of intense concentration came over her face. For a moment, Sirius watched in silence. Then her hair changed with a pop. Gone were her long, dark curls. Short blond spikes of hair replaced them. The little girl reached up to touch her hair, giggling at the result of her concentration.

"Very impressive," Sirius grinned. "You're getting really good at controlling your morphing."

"She doesn't have much longer to get it fully under control," Andromeda said. "She needs to be able to control it before she starts at Hogwarts."

"That's years from now," Nymphadora said, rolling her eyes. As she did, her blond hair was gone; the dark curls once again falling down over her shoulders. "Mum! Look what you made me do!"

"Nymphadora, don't yell," Andromeda said harshly. "We're in a funeral home, for pity's sake! Behave like a lady."

Nymphadora gave her a nasty expression, and her eyes changed color.

"Dora," Ted said softly, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Calm down. You know better than to talk to your mother like that. If you don't stop, you're going to be a mess. You've already made your hair and your eyes change."

She took a deep breath, and her eyes changed back to their natural blue. "I'm all right, Daddy. I'm sorry, Mum," she said contritely.

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "You morph when you're angry?"

"That's the hardest part to control," Andromeda said. "Every time she has an emotional swing, she morphs something. That's why it's so important for her to learn to control it now. She needs to have her powers mastered before she becomes a teenager."

Others began to arrive, cutting off their conversation. Sirius retreated to his shadowy corner, hoping to remain invisible. Nymphadora joined him, sitting down next to him.

"You don't have to keep me company, Dora," he said. "You can go talk to your cousins, if you'd rather."

She gave him a look of horror. "I'd rather stay with you."

Sirius smiled. He had to admit that he was grateful for her presence. The little girl made him feel less alone.

"Besides," she added, "I'm sure Mum and Dad will want to sit with you instead of Aunt Narcissa or Aunt Bella."

"I hope so," Sirius muttered to himself. He gave his little cousin a smile. "So are your powers really so hard to control?"

"Sometimes," she admitted. "But I'm learning."

"I know you are," he smiled. "I think you're doing quite well."

"Thanks, Sirius."

"You're welcome."

They lapsed into comfortable silence, watching the people filing into the room. Sirius's eyes narrowed as he saw his parents come in. He prayed that they wouldn't notice him. He really couldn't handle them today.

Fortunately, others in the room almost immediately engaged them in conversation. Sirius breathed a sigh of relief. He was free of them – for the moment, at least. He kept his eyes on them, wanting to have advance warning if they started to come toward him.

"Sirius."

He jumped at the sound of his name, and turned to see who had called him. His eyes narrowed, and he stood to his feet.

"Snape." It was impossible to keep the anger and the loathing out of his voice.

Severus looked the same as he had during their days together at Hogwarts. He still wore all black robes, his nose was still hooked, and his greasy hair still hung in his face. Sirius wondered for the thousandth time how James was able to work with this man every day without hexing him.

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry about Regulus," Severus said stiffly. "He was a good friend to me, and he didn't deserve to die like that."

"What do you care?" Sirius spat, his anger surfacing. "He wasn't your brother. You didn't try to save him. You did everything in your power to make him live this life! As far as I'm concerned, _Snivellus_, you're part of the reason he's dead."

Snape visibly stiffened. "Fine," he snapped. "Think whatever you want to think, Black. I must have forgotten that you're always right. My mistake."

Without waiting for a reply, he swept away in a flutter of black robes. Sirius sat back down, breathing heavily.

"Are you all right?" Nymphadora asked.

"Yeah," Sirius said, not looking down at her. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You don't look fine," she said, putting her small hand on his arm. "Who was that man?"

"An old friend from school."

"No, he wasn't."

Sirius did look at her this time. "How do you know that?"

"That's not how friends talk to one another," she said simply. "Why don't you like one another?"

This little girl was too smart for her own good. "We've never liked each other," Sirius admitted. "I don't know when it all started, really. We've just always been enemies."

Nymphadora studied Snape from a distance. "He looks grumpy," she said at last. "I don't like him, either."

Sirius grinned. "Don't tell your mother that, Dora, or we'll both be in trouble. We can't have her thinking that I'm making you dislike people you haven't even met."

* * *

By the next day, Sirius appeared to be back to his normal self. He was as jovial as ever as he helped James and Lily move into their new house. Even though they had been friends for years, Lily had never been quite sure how to handle his mood swings. She merely responded to each mood as it came, trying not to let him drag her along for the roller coaster of his emotions.

But even as he joked with her, she could see the haunted look in his eyes. She bit her lip when he didn't know she was looking at him. She wanted to help him, but she didn't know how. In the end, she decided that just being there with him would have to be enough. He knew that she was there, and that she was his friend. She didn't know anything else to do.

"You know, Lily, I think you've loosened up," Sirius grinned as he used his wand to rearrange the furniture in the Potters' new living room. "I can recall a day not so long ago in our shared history when you wouldn't let James and I use magic to arrange furniture."

Lily made a face at him, happy that he was willing to joke with her. Perhaps he wasn't quite as morose as she had feared he would be. "I just want this done quickly, Sirius, and if letting you use magic means that you're going to waste less time whining, then it will certainly get the job done faster."

"Ouch," Sirius grinned. "Are you calling me a whiner?"

Lily regarded him imperiously for a moment. "Maybe," she said at last. Her face broke into a smile, and she started laughing.

"I think there's far too much fun going on in this room," James said as he entered the house levitating boxes in front of him. "Are you two accomplishing _anything_?"

"Solidifying our friendship?" Sirius offered with a grin.

James shook his head, but smiled. "Lil, what happened to wanting to be moved in before Harry's first birthday?"

"Sirius has yet to master the idea of 'more work, less chatter,'" she said. She glanced at the boxes that were still floating mid-air. "Where do those go?"

"Harry's room."

"I'll take them up," she said, pulling her wand from her pocket to take over the levitation charm. "I want to get the nursery done early so that Harry will have a familiar room to sleep in tonight."

"I'll be up to help in a minute," James said. "I want to give Sirius a hand first."

"Take your time," Lily replied. She exchanged a look with James, knowing that he wanted to talk to his best friend in private. Despite her relief over his cheery, joking mood, she knew that James was worried that his friend was hiding his true emotions. She turned from her husband, and grinned wickedly at Sirius. "Goodness knows he needs the help."

"James, you've married an evil woman," Sirius said loudly enough for Lily to hear as she went up the stairs.

They could hear her laughter drifting back down toward them. James looked at Sirius with a grin.

"She's cheery today," he said.

"Well, you have your new house now," Sirius pointed out. "There haven't been any new attempts on your lives. Harry's still safe. Your lives are falling into place. Everything's working out. I'd say you're _both_ pretty cheery today."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," he grinned. His smile faded as he looked at his friend, trying to see into the haunted depths of his eyes. "Are you all right, Sirius? I mean, I know you've been through a lot with Regulus and all . . ."

"Regulus walked out of my life years ago," Sirius said shortly. "Every time he came back into it, it was for less than honorable reasons. You were right, James. God only knows what he was doing at my flat that day. I'm not saying he was after Harry, but he could have been looking for a place to hide from the Death Eaters." He paused, and looked off into space for a moment. "Although I don't know what he could have done to make them angry enough to kill him. . . Or, better put, what he _wouldn't_ do." He blinked several times.

"You're allowed to be sad, Sirius," James said softly. "You're allowed to grieve."

Sirius didn't reply. He silently went back to moving the furniture.

"Padfoot," James sighed. He ran his hand through his hair. "I've never . . . I don't know what to say, or how to help you. You aren't – you aren't acting like yourself."

"What, you mean because I'm not smashing this furniture?"

James smiled helplessly. "Well, that is pretty much what history teaches us you should be doing right about now."

Sirius shook his head, and smiled sadly. "I just can't even make myself want to . . . James, this is the weirdest feeling I've ever had. I just don't even know how to respond. I know what happened, but it's really hard to convince myself that it's true. I don't know if I'm more upset because my brother is dead, or because my cousin and I failed in our attempts to save him. I don't know why he couldn't believe us when we told him he had chosen the wrong path." He shrugged. "I don't even know what to say to you right now."

"Look, if you need to talk . . ."

Sirius nodded. "I know where to find you. I just can't right now. I can't talk about this until I can get my head fully around it." He looked up briefly. "Go help Lily organize Harry's room."

James hesitated. "Sirius, despite all he did . . . Under it all, Regulus was a good person. He had a good heart. That's why he died. He couldn't handle the choices he had made. He did regret it – all the wrong he had done. He hit the point where he couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't be that person, and he couldn't live that live. I know you were always concerned that he'd follow your parents' example rather than yours, but in the end, I think you _did_ influence him. I think you made a big difference in his life."

Sirius looked up again, his eyes bright. "Thanks, Prongs," he said softly.

James smiled sadly. "You're welcome."

* * *

"Headmaster, do you have a moment?"

"Of course," Dumbledore said, putting his paperwork aside to give his full attention to Snape. "How may I help you?"

"I've waited a week as you requested," Snape said without preamble. "I'm still as committed as I was the day – the day I witnessed the murder. I want to join your cause."

Dumbledore smiled. "Welcome, Severus."

"That's all there is to it?"

"Yes," he said, smiling again. "Severus, you have proven to me during the time that you have been teaching in my school that I can trust you. Despite your proximity to the students, you have not done anything to harm them, or to recruit them for Voldemort. Despite your easy access to me, you have not tried to harm me. I know that I can trust you now to comport yourself admirably as a member of my Order."

Snape released the breath he had been holding. "Thank you, sir. How can I help?"

"I'd like you to become a spy," Dumbledore said simply.

"A spy?"

"Yes, a spy. You are already a member of the Death Eaters, and your skill as a legimens will help you to hide your new loyalties from Voldemort." He looked at Snape critically. "Are you willing to do this? Are you willing to spy for the Order?"

Snape thought of his fallen friend, and knew that his decision was made. "Yes," he said without further hesitation. "Yes, I'm willing to be a spy. I want to help you in any way I can."

* * *

Harry had passed the milestone of his two-month birthday before Lily truly felt like their new house was _home_. She spent countless hours arranging and rearranging furniture and decorations while James was at work. He had grown accustomed to coming home to discover that nothing was in the same place as it had been that morning. But Lily loved the "project" that the new house had become.

"You know," she said to James, "if you had told me when Harry was born that we would move before he was two months old, I would have thought you had lost your mind. I loved our old house. It was _home_ to me in a way that no place I've lived before ever was. I couldn't imagine leaving it."

"Well, we didn't exactly have a lot of choice in the matter," James said, clenching his jaw slightly.

"I know that," Lily said. "And for awhile, I was more upset about the house itself than about the attempt on our lives. I felt like they had taken something so special, something so precious . . . I was certain that I'd never feel that way about another house. I was sure that I'd never feel at home anywhere else."

"You're using the past tense," James said. "What do you feel now?"

"Home is wherever you make it," she smiled. "Home isn't a specific house, it's what you turn that house into. For me, home is wherever you and Harry are. I feel just as at home in this house now that I've arranged it the way I want as I did in that last house. And, if we ever move again, I'll feel just as at home in that house."

"Good," James said with a mischievous grin, "because I don't think this house is nearly big enough for the ten children we're going to have."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I think I'm still getting used to the one we do have."

James laughed. "Well, I didn't say we had to have them all within the next year."

"Good," Lily grinned. "I think that might be a physical impossibility."

"You know," James smiled, "when you first said that you wanted to quit working, I thought you were insane. I never thought of you as being able to be happy staying at home with the baby all the time. But now, after watching you these past few weeks, it all makes sense. You truly do love this, don't you?"

Lily smiled. "I do," she said, a bit incredulously. "You're right, too. When I found out I was pregnant, the thought of quitting forever never even occurred to me. I assumed that I'd stay home with Harry for a while, and then go back to work when I was ready. But now, I can't even imagine doing that. The thought of _not_ staying home with him is impossible." She shrugged. "I suppose I have Voldemort to thank for that."

"Lil . . ."

She shook her head. "If it weren't for this threat on Harry's life, I don't know if I would have wanted to quit working. I'm doing it to help our son, James. I made the decision to pull myself out of the spotlight of journalism to keep him safe, and to help him hide." She bit her lower lip. "Now I just have to find a way to tell Dorcas."

"She'll be fine with it. She's in the Order. Fighting Voldemort is her first priority as much as it is ours."

"I hope you're right."

* * *

The next day, James was shocking to come home from work to find Lily crying. She was sitting on the couch in the living room, her head buried in her hands, rocking back and forth as sobs shook her body.

"Lily!" he exclaimed. "My God, Lils, what's wrong?"

Lily looked up at him, her face streaked with tears of misery. She took gulping breaths, trying to calm down enough to talk to him. It was useless; she almost immediately lapsed back into tears.

James sat down next to her, pulling her close. She dropped her head onto his chest, letting him hold her and stroke her hair.

"You have to tell me what's wrong, love," he said, just barely controlling the panic that was mounting. He swallowed hard, and forced himself to voice his greatest fear. "Is it Harry? Did something happen to him?"

"No, Harry's fine," Lily managed to say. Realizing that she was scaring James to death, she tried harder to bring herself under control. "It's stupid, really."

"Nothing that has you this upset could be stupid," James said firmly. He put his hands on the sides of her face, and wiped her tears away with his thumbs. "What's wrong, love?"

Lily tried to smile, but her face crumpled again. "I don't want to quit working, James!"

James looked at her in utter confusion. "But you said . . ."

"I know what I said!" Lily exclaimed tearfully. "But I was wrong! I want to go back to work. I love my job. I love working with Minnie. I love all the investigating we do to get facts for stories, and I love writing the stories. I love it all, and I don't want to give it up!"

"Don't, then," James said. "Harry can stay with my mum while we're at work – she's been offering to babysit since before he was born."

Lily shook her head. "I can't go back," she said softly. "I have a job that puts me in contact with Death Eaters all the time. It's been fun, James, but I can't live that life now. I'm not just risking my life anymore. I have to think about Harry."

"So you're quitting?" James asked, now thoroughly confused.

"Yes," Lily sighed. "I have to do it. I just – I just hate the idea."

James smiled, and kissed her. "Lily, you have to make this decision for yourself. I'm going to stand behind you no matter what. We'll find a way to make it work."

She shook her head. "It's too dangerous. I can't do it." She ran her hand through his hair without even thinking about it. "It's different for you, James. You work for Dumbledore, in his school. You're safe, and your job doesn't draw any unwanted attention to us. But it's not the same for me. I put my life on the line with every undercover mission and every published article. We're in enough danger with the work that we do for the Order. I can't make the risk worse."

James tipped her chin up so that he could look into her eyes. "Are you convincing me or yourself?"

Tears pooled in her eyes again. "Myself," she whispered. "Oh, James, I've already made up my mind. I know what I have to do. Just let me cry for awhile."

James smiled, and kissed her again. "Cry for as long as you want, my love."

Lily collapsed against him, sobbing again. James held her close, stroking her hair. He knew how much she loved her job, and how difficult of a decision this was for her. He had been amazed when she had told him so easily that she would leave her career behind to protect Harry. But that had been the day Dumbledore had told them of the prophecy. They had been terrified. Now, two months later, the consequences of her decision were finally catching up to her.

He kissed her again. He knew that she would do it. She would quit for Harry. He would do the same. In the end, no matter how much their careers meant to them, Harry meant more. They would do anything to save their little boy.

* * *

The next morning, Lily was pale as she made breakfast, but her jaw was set and her eyes held resolution. James looked at her curiously as he came into the kitchen.

"Good morning," he said, kissing her cheek. "Are you all right? You look at little odd."

"I'm fine," she said, tipping fried eyes from the pan to his plate. "Today is the day."

"The day for what?" James asked blankly.

"I'm going to tell Dorcas I'm quitting."

James raised his eyebrows. "Are you sure?"

"I'm positive," she said firmly. "It's the only option."

James nodded. "Well, good luck."

Lily smiled faintly. "Thanks. I'm going to need it. I'm afraid I'll take one look at Minnie and change my mind."

James shook his head. "No, you won't. Your mind is made up, and I've never seen you back down from something important. And this is important, Lil. As you said yourself, it's not just about you – it's about Harry."

"Thank you," she said softly, crossing to kiss him. "That was the perfect pep talk."

"Well, I do what I can," James smiled. He kissed her again.

Harry screamed, breaking their moment. Lily pulled back from the kiss, and smiled at her husband.

"It looks like someone else wants to join us."

"I'll go get him," James said. "I need to give him a stern lecture about his timing."

Lily laughed as James left the kitchen to get Harry out of bed.

* * *

Lily waited until after lunch to go to the Daily Prophet offices. She couldn't handle it before that. She needed the morning to mentally prepare herself to do what she had to do.

After lunch, she bundled Harry up, and took him to the Daily Prophet. She wanted to see the outside of the building, and to walk through it one last time. With this in mind, she and Harry did not Floo to the office. They drove as close as they could, then walked to the building.

"Look at it, Harry," she said softly to the baby as they approached. "This is where Mummy used to work." She smiled, and kissed his cheek. "Maybe you'll work here someday. Would you like that? Do you want to be a journalist?"

Harry gave a shriek, which Lily took as a yes. She smiled, and tickled his tummy to make him smile. Kissing his cheek again, she walked the rest of the way up to the door, and entered the building with her baby in her arms.

Since she had entered on the ground floor, she knew she was bound to run into many of her colleagues. She didn't mind; she wanted the chance to see everyone at work one last time. As she walked through the offices, she was stopped many times by the people she had worked with since graduating from Hogwarts. Everyone was thrilled to see Harry; they appeared to think that she had come in for the express purpose of showing off her baby. She didn't bother to correct most of them. It was easier to just let them coo over Harry.

"He's a doll!" Elaine, her editor from her days reporting sports news, exclaimed. She took the baby in her arms, tickling him to amuse him. "I wish I could have you back in sports, Lily. Ludo Bagman doesn't like any of the new writers I've had interview him."

Lily laughed, remembering her days of writing stories about the Quidditch hero. She was thankful that bigger, more exciting suspected Death Eaters had come her way, distracting her and Minnie from their investigation of Ludo. She wasn't sure she could have handled knowing that he was a Death Eater.

"I'm serious!" Elaine said, taking her laughter for disbelief. "He just loved you."

"You know, I miss interviewing him. Not as much as James misses me interviewing him, I'm sure, but I always had a lot of fun with him."

"I'll talk to Dorcas," Elaine grinned. "Maybe when you're back from maternity leave, we can get you back in there doing his interviews again."

Lily smiled sadly. "I'm not coming back, Elaine."

"What?"

"I'm going to stay home with Harry."

Elaine nodded. "I can't say that I'm surprised," she admitted. "I don't know how these women leave their babies to come back to work here. I mean, just look at him! How could you leave this little face every morning?"

Lily smiled, grateful that Elaine didn't think that there could be any other reason for her wanting to leave. She stayed to talk with her a bit longer, then made her way up to the local news department. She wanted to say farewell to her colleagues there as well.

As she passed from local news to the investigative section, Lily saw Rodolphus Lestrange coming toward her. She gave him a tight smile, and pulled Harry closer. Although she and Minnie had never been able to prove conclusively that he was a Death Eater, she was sure that he was. The idea of him knowing that she had Harry in the building made her extremely uneasy.

As she entered the corridors of the investigative reporting section, she breathed a sigh of relief. She felt safer just for being there.

"Lily!" Minnie exclaimed as she walked through the main office. "What are you doing here? I thought you were still on maternity leave!"

Lily grinned. "I'm so glad that I saw you first. Can we talk?"

"Of course," Minnie said, her expression become serious. She led the way to her office, and closed the door behind them. "What's going on?"

Lily sat down, and took a deep breath. "I'm quitting."

"What?" Minnie gasped, her jaw dropping.

"I'm quitting," Lily replied. "I'm going to stay home and be Harry's mummy."

Minnie blinked, and closed her open mouth. "I respect your decision, Lil, but I have to admit that I'm shocked. I never imagined that you'd want to give this up."

Lily smiled helplessly, feeling the tears press against the backs of her eyes. "I never thought I would, either. But now that I have Harry – I just can't leave him, Min. I can't."

"Oh, God, Lils, don't cry!" Minnie exclaimed. She jumped up to hug her friend. "I didn't mean to make you cry!"

"It's not your fault," Lily said, wiping at her tears. "I've been so emotional over this whole thing, and I think I'm still pretty hormonal from just having a baby."

"Oh, Lily," Minnie sighed. She pulled back, and looked at the baby with a smile. "He is a cute little guy."

"Do you want to hold him?"

Minnie's eyes lit up. "Could I?"

"Sure," Lily laughed. She handed Harry over, then began looking through her purse for tissues.

"Oh, you're so sweet!" Minnie exclaimed as she held the baby close. She looked up at Lily with shining eyes. "I can understand how it would be impossible to leave him," she admitted. "He's just adorable."

Lily smiled. "He's James," she said. "Can't you see it?"

"Yes," Minnie said with a smile. "He'd definitely his father's son."

"More like his clone," Lily laughed. "I just hope he's considerably better behaved when he gets to Hogwarts."

"At least James always kept us entertained," Minnie grinned. "All four of those boys were hysterical! I was actually sadder to leave them by the end than I was to leave some of my friends in my own year."

Lily smiled. "They made me so angry back then. When I think of the little girl I was at Hogwarts, I can't believe that I'm even _married_ to James, let alone the mother of his child."

Minnie looked down at the baby again, then back up at Lily. "Have you told Dorcas yet?"

"No," Lily admitted. "That's why I came in today. I'm going to talk to her now, but I wanted to tell you first."

Minnie smiled sadly. "Thanks for telling me in person."

"Minnie, just because I'm leaving the paper doesn't mean we're not going to be friends," Lily said quickly. "I've loved working with you, and you're a fantastic partner, but you're an even better friend. I don't want to lose you and Adam as friends just because I've given up my job."

"And you won't," Minnie said, reaching across to take her hand. "We're always going to be friends, Lily. Always."

Lily smiled, blinking back more tears.

"Oh, God, I'm not helping!" Minnie exclaimed. "Here, take your baby and go tell Dorcas that you're leaving before I have you sobbing in here!"

Lily laughed through her tears, and took Harry back. Once she felt calm again, she left Minnie and went to Dorcas's office. Gathering her courage and resolve, she knocked on the door.

"Come in."

Lily took a deep breath, and pushed the door open. Dorcas's eyes lit up when she saw her.

"Lily!" she exclaimed. "Did you come in to show Harry around?"

Lily smiled. "Not exactly," she said, passing the baby to her editor. "I have something that I need to tell you."

"Go ahead," Dorcas said as they both sat down. She cuddled the baby close. "He is the picture of his daddy, isn't he?"

Lily smiled. "I'm starting to doubt that he's mine, actually."

Dorcas laughed. "What did you need to tell me, darling?"

Lily drew a deep breath. "Dorcas, I'm not coming back when my maternity leave is over."

Dorcas looked at her for what felt like an eternity. "You're sure?" she asked at last.

"I'm sure," Lily said. "I've thought about it a lot, and I think I'm better off staying home with Harry."

Dorcas nodded slowly. "Of course you want to be with your baby."

"It's more than just that," Lily said, wanting Dorcas to know her actual reasons for not returning to her career. "Harry's in danger."

Dorcas looked at the baby in her arms in confusion. "How is that possible?"

"There was this prophecy," Lily began. "It says that Harry may be the one with the power to vanquish Voldemort. But Voldemort knows about it – at least part of it – so he's trying to have Harry killed. I can't – I can't spend my time investigating Death Eaters and writing stories about them when they're trying to kill my son. I can't draw any more attention to us. I can't be in contact with them like I was before – I could inadvertently lead them right to us."

Dorcas nodded. "You're absolutely right," she said. "You can't put him in more danger."

Lily exhaled. "So you're all right with this?"

"My dear, what other option do you have?" She ran her hand over the top of Harry's head. "If he _is_ the one with the power to destroy Voldemort, then it's more than just your son you need to protect. Keeping him safe may save us all."

Lily smiled broadly. She had made the right choice. She was sure of it.

A scream rang out in the hall, followed by the shout of a curse. Lily and Dorcas were instantly on their feet. Dorcas gave the baby back to his mother.

"Stay here," she said urgently. "I'll see what's going on."

Lily nodded, and clutched the baby to her.

Dorcas opened her door, and gasped. She shut it quickly, and pressed her back against it. She was visibly shaking as she held the door shut.

"What's going on?" Lily asked desperately.

"There are Death Eaters in our offices!"

Lily looked at her as though she had gone insane. "How is that possible?"

"I don't know," Dorcas said urgently. "But we have to get you out of here."

"How?" Lily asked, feeling more desperate by the moment.

"There's a fireplace connected to the Floo network in the conference room," Dorcas said. "You just have to make it that far, and you can get home."

"How will I get there?"

"I'll distract them," Dorcas said, taking her wand out of her pocket. She looked at Lily with determination gleaming in her eye. "Are you ready?"

Lily nodded, and clutched her baby to her.

Dorcas threw the door open, and began hurling hexes and curses at the Death Eaters. She ran as far from her office and the conference room as she could, taking the Death Eaters' attention with her. Realizing her opportunity, Lily raced to the conference room.

"Where is Lily Potter?"

Lily gasped at the sound of her own name. She peeked around the door, and saw Dorcas with her back against a wall, Voldemort closing in on her. Voldemort? Dorcas had never told her that the Dark Lord himself was there. Had she not seen him, or had she been trying to shield Lily from the truth?

"She's not here," Dorcas declared firmly.

"Do not treat me like an idiot, Dorcas," Voldemort shot back. "I know that she's here with her baby. I have it on very good authority that they are in the building – and no one has seen them leave."

Rodolphus. Who else would have told Voldemort that they were there? A surge of anger for this man filled Lily. Her only wish was that she and Minnie had managed to put him in Azkaban ages ago. 

"Well, I don't know what you're talking about," Dorcas said. "I haven't seen Lily Potter or her baby."

"Don't play games with me! I don't have time for your lies!"

"What reason do I have to lie to you?"

Voldemort laughed coldly. "I know you are lying, Dorcas. I can tell." He shook his head. "You and your staff have been too much trouble to me for too long. Either you will tell me where Lily Potter and the baby are, or you will die."

Dorcas's eyes shifted, and she saw Lily. Her eyes widened, and she looked back at Voldemort. "I will die, then."

"Very well." He took out his wand. "_Avada Kedavara_."

Lily gasped as Dorcas's body fell to the ground. She just managed to hold onto rational thought, and raced to the fireplace. She grabbed a handful of Floo powder from the jar on the mantle, and threw it into the grate. Within moments, she was being transported home.

* * *

The sound of a screaming baby greeted James when he arrived home from work. He smiled, and shook his head. Lily must be having a rough time – Harry sounded extremely angry. Deciding to rescue his wife, he followed the sounds of Harry's cries to the living room.

The scene that greeted him made him stop short. Harry was in his swing, screaming as he swung back and forth. Judging by his red face, he had been crying for quite some time. Lily was on the couch, staring blankly ahead. She appeared to be completely deaf to her baby's cries.

"Lily?" James asked. "Lil, are you all right?"

She didn't respond. Terrified, James didn't know whom to help first. He finally picked up the baby from his swing. Holding his son close, he crossed to kneel down in front of Lily.

"Lils?" he asked softly, taking her hand. "What's going on, love? What's happened?"

"James," she finally said weakly. Tears began to run down her cheeks. "He killed her. He killed her for protecting me and Harry."

"Who killed whom, love?"

"Voldemort," Lily said. She blinked, her eyes coming back into focus as she looked at James's face, seeing him for the first time since he had come into the room. "Voldemort came to the Daily Prophet because he had heard that I was there with Harry. Dorcas saved us – she distracted him so that we could get out of there. But Voldemort – he killed her when she refused to tell him where we were."

"You saw it?"

She nodded, her tears beginning to fall faster.

James didn't say a word. He moved Harry to one arm, and reached up with the other to pull his wife close. Lily slid off the couch, landing in his arms on the floor.

James held them both, trying to help them stop crying. He knew that words were useless with Harry, who was likely hungry, and that no words would comfort Lily now. Sometimes, the best way to deal with grief and shock was just to cry.


	46. Too Many Goodbyes

A/N: I want to apologize again for the lapse between updates. I'm finally done with my Master's (yay!), and I promise to update regularly from now on! Thank you so much for your patience! Now, as promised, here are the answers to your questions!

I don't remember who asked this one, but I'm working with the theory that Apparation is impossible when holding a baby. That's why everyone Floos or uses portkeys when holding Harry.

**Leah Zuckerman:** Thank you so much! I'm so glad you had fun reading my stories. These are the only two I have up right now. I have thoughts rolling around in my head for a sequel to this one centering on the surviving Marauders, as well as one about Harry learning about his parents' past, but we'll see if they actually happen. Right now, it's looking like yes!

**dazed 'n confused:** Yeah, it was supposed to be "fried eggs." If you knew how many times I read these chapters before I post them, you'd be laughing hysterically over such a stupid mistake. Ah, well, hopefully it won't happen in this chapter!

**Reina de la Noche:** According to my ever-changing outline, I have 16 more chapters to go. The outline is actually pretty stable now, so I'd say it's an accurate number. I have every intention of having it done before HBP comes out. I want to get the story done before it becomes AU!

**LupinLover922:** I have 16 more chapters to go, the last one of which is an epilogue. My goal is to have everything completely done with this story by July 11. I hope that helps!

**patsfan1237:** I do have plans for all the friends, which I hope to address in the last chapter and epilogue. I'm also thinking of a follow-up story to this one, but if that does happen, it'll be after HBP is out. I haven't heard much about the break-away group, so I don't have an answer for that one!

**tennisprincess15: **I know that Harry would disagree with me, but I've never really seen Peter as "willing and happy" to give up the information on his friends. He starts crying at the end of POA when Remus and Sirius question him about killing James and Lily (both in the book and the movie), and in GOF he is only helping Voldemort because, as Voldemort himself said, his friends have turned on him. I think he was just very confused about who to support, was, as Sirius points out in POA in different words, looking for the best way to save himself, and doesn't have very much confidence. As for the way I'm going to make his character go – you'll have to keep reading!

**RaysofHope:** Remus and Laura will pop up in this chapter, and will be more of the focus in the next one. The two chapters after that will center on them. As for having a baby … sorry, I can't give everything away right now!

**NewAesthetic:** Remus and Laura are never far from my mind! They'll be in this chapter and the next, and will be the focus of the two after that. I haven't planned to focus on Neville and his family much. I've considered it, and they will be discussed a bit, but they'll never be a major part of the story.

Thanks so much for all your support, everyone! I love you all! Thank you for reading and reviewing!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Too Many Goodbyes

_Lagrimas de tristeza no me dejan olvidarte  
__Tears of sorrow won't let me forget you  
__-Spanish Eyes_, Madonna

James was still holding both Harry and Lily when they stopped crying. Harry managed to cry himself to sleep, and rested quietly in his father's arms; his red face was the only outward sign of the screaming that had echoed through the house. Lily, too, was calm. Unlike her son, she was not sleeping. She was curled up against James; one hand clutched the front of his shirt as if holding on to him would protect her from the evil outside her house.

A crack split the air, and both James and Lily jumped. James's sharp movement awoke Harry, who began screaming again. Without stopping to comfort the baby, James sprang to his feet. Lily shot up with him, grabbing his arm.

"James, be careful," she said in an urgent whisper.

"Here," he said, giving Harry to her. He took out his wand. "See if you can quiet him. They can't know that he's here."

"They already know," Lily said desperately, rocking the baby back and forth in an effort to quiet his screams. "What are we going to do, James? What can we do?"

"We have to keep them away from Harry," he said urgently. "Get him out of here, Lily!"

"Where am I going to take him? And what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to –"

James's sentence was cut off by a new voice. The woman's voice that cut through the air shocked them both.

"Lily? Lily, are you here? _Lily_!"

Lily's eyebrows shot up. "Minnie?" she exclaimed incredulously. She gave Harry, who was still crying, back to James.

"Lily! Where are you?"

"In here!" Lily yelled, hurrying toward the sound of her friend's voice.

The girls managed to meet in the kitchen. They looked at one another in disbelief for a moment, then threw their arms around each other, both crying.

"You're all right," Minnie said over and over, clutching Lily to her. She finally pulled back, and looked at her friend. "How did that happen? Why did that happen? What's going on?"

Lily drew a deep breath. "I can't tell you everything," she said. "Suffice it to say that Voldemort is after Harry. He heard that we were in the Prophet offices somehow – I'm guessing a Death Eater tipped him off. It would appear that he thought it would be the perfect time to kill my baby."

Minnie looked horror-struck. "But why . . .?"

"I can't tell you," Lily said. "If you know what's going on, you'll become a target, too."

Minnie shook her head as the pieces began to fit together. "My God, Lils. Is that why you quit the Prophet? To keep Harry safe from You-Know-Who?"

"Yes," Lily admitted.

"Does . . ." She paused, and swallowed. "Did Dorcas know?"

"Yes," Lily said again, her eyes shining with sorrow and anger. "I told Dorcas the whole story, and look where it got her. Do you understand why I can't tell you?"

"Yes, of course," Minnie said. "But, Lily, are you all right? You, James and Harry? Are you safe? Are you going to be okay?"

"We're going to be fine," James said, entering the room with Harry in his arms. He waved his wand, sending a baby bottle from the refrigerator to the stove, where it began heating itself. "We're taking all the precautions we can."

"Which reminds me, I need to put password protection the house," Lily said. "I was going to do it as soon as I got back from the Prophet offices, but I was . . . a little distracted."

"You have every right to be," Minnie said. She hugged her friend again.

"How is everyone else?" Lily asked.

"Okay," she replied. "Everyone's pretty shaken up, but only a few people were hurt." She gave Lily a meaningful look. "I'm sure this will come as a shock to you, but Rodolphus Lestrange wasn't hurt."

Lily's eyes snapped fire. "I knew it!" she exploded. "I knew he was the reason for everything that happened! Min, we should have proven that he was a Death Eater when we had the chance!"

"We couldn't," Minnie said softly, her eyes full of sorrow. "We didn't have enough evidence."

"Well, we should have found more evidence, then! We should have found enough to put him in Azkaban for the rest of his life! We should have made sure that there was no way he could ever hurt anyone again!" Lily yelled, quickly becoming hysterical. "Because of him, Voldemort nearly killed Harry! Because of him, Dorcas is _dead_!"

Lily collapsed into sobs again. Minnie pulled her into a tight embrace. She cried along with Lily as she rocked her back and forth, both mourning their fallen colleague.

* * *

The next day, Lily was still reeling from her experience at the Daily Prophet. James felt horrible leaving her for work, but it couldn't be avoided. Hogwarts didn't employ substitute teachers; if a professor was out for a day, it was up to the others to cover the absentee teacher's classes. James didn't want to put that burden on his colleagues; and the very thought of Snape teaching his classes, even if only for a day, made him shudder. With that thought in mind, he pulled on his Hogwarts robes, and made his way to the living room, where Lily was sitting in the rocking chair, feeding Harry.

"You'll be all right today, won't you?" James asked with concern in his eyes.

"I'm fine," Lily said, giving him a false smile.

James crossed the room, and knelt down in front of her. He put his hands on her knees, as her hands were occupied with the baby. "Don't lie to me," he said softly. "And don't give me that smile. I know it's not how you feel."

The smile slid off her face in an instant, and her eyes filled with tears. "I'll be fine today, James," she said in a hitched whisper. "Go to work. Your students need you."

"You need me too," he said, feeling his resolve about going to work melt.

She shook her head, the motion sending a tear down her cheek. "I have Harry here with me," she said, trying to smile again. "The two of us can take care of one another."

"You're sure?"

"I'm positive. I want you to go to work. I need – I need a sense of normalcy, and if you're here, that's not going to happen. I want to treat this like it's any other day."

James reached up to touch her cheek, wiping her tears away. "You know that I love you, don't you?"

"Of course," she said, this time succeeding in smiling. "I love you, too."

"Good," he smiled. He kissed her nose. "You take good care of Harry."

"I always do."

"I know you do." He smiled, and leaned down to kiss the baby's head. "And you take good care of Mummy."

He rose to his feet, and looked down at Lily, the concern still shining in his eyes. Lily smiled sadly.

"I'll be fine, James," she said again. "If I need you, Harry and I will come to Hogwarts. We're close enough to walk now, you know."

James smiled, feeling a bit better about leaving. "That's true. You promise you'll come if you need me?"

"I promise. If you're teaching, I'll just sit in your office and wait for you."

For the first time, James looked comfortable with the idea of leaving her. He leaned down to kiss her lips.

"I love you," he said again.

"I love _you_," she replied as he straightened up.

"I'll see you later."

"Bye," Lily smiled.

James blew a kiss to Harry, and left the house. He walked to school quickly, trying to make up for the time he had lost talking to his wife. He truly hoped that she would be as "fine" as she had said that she would be.

When he got to Hogwarts, he went straight to his office without stopping to chat with his fellow teachers as he usually did. He wanted to use the time to mentally prepare himself for his lessons.

When he walked into his office, he noticed a piece of parchment on his desk that had not been there the day before. Frowning slightly, he picked it up. He unfolded it to read the short letter.

"_James,_

"_Please come and see me as soon as you have a moment. We need to talk._

"_- Albus Dumbledore"_

James drew a quick breath. What could Dumbledore need to talk with him about? He knew that there was no way that he could wait until later in the day. He left his office, and walked briskly through the castle to that of the Headmaster.

When he stepped off the staircase, Dumbledore's office door was already open. He stepped forward, and tapped on the open door.

"Headmaster?" he asked. "You wanted to see me?"

Dumbledore looked up from his desk, his eyes lighting up. "James! I didn't expect to see you so soon."

"Well, sir, your message made me a bit nervous," James admitted as he entered the office.

"You have no reason to be," Dumbledore assured him. "Please, sit down."

James took a seat opposite Dumbledore, and waited for him to begin. Dumbledore waved his hand at the door, sending it closed. Then he folded his fingers together, and looked at James over his glasses.

"How is Lily?" he asked seriously.

James's eyed widened. "You've heard?"

"Of course. The Aurors were called in to stabilize the situation. Naturally, Alastor and Frank told me of what had happened."

James exhaled slowly, and ran his hand through his hair. "Lily's – well, she says that she'll be fine. She's still rather shaken up."

"Yes, I can well imagine," Dumbledore said. "And attempt on one's life tends to make one a bit nervous." He ran his hands over his eyes. "And Harry? How is he?"

"Fine," James smiled. "I don't think he has any idea that he was in danger. He's awfully small to pick up things like that."

"It is amazing what babies notice," Dumbledore replied. "Most people tend to underestimate them." He paused, the concern heavy in his voice. "He was not hurt?"

"No," James said. "He's fine. I think he's going to be the one that will get Lily through today."

Dumbledore sighed. "Did she see Dorcas's death?"

"Yes," James said shortly.

Dumbledore nodded slowly. "That will take some time to heal from, I'm sure."

"Yes," James agreed. "Lily and Dorcas had an excellent relationship."

"She was a good person," Dumbledore said sadly. "She will be sorely missed by many."

"What does this mean for the Order?" James asked, assuming that the "many" Dumbledore had referred to included the Order members.

"We have lost members before," Dumbledore said simply. "We will do the same as we have in the past. We will mourn her loss, but we must accept it and move on. It is the only way that we will be successful."

James nodded slowly.

"We will, however, need to be sure that all the members have been notified of her death," the Headmaster continued. "We will hold a meeting next week to discuss what has happened."

"If your purpose is solely notification, that seems a bit late," James said. "Next week is a long time from now."

Dumbledore nodded. "It is," he agreed. "Hopefully, it will be enough time for Lily to begin to heal."

* * *

James and Lily were eating dinner the next week when the golden phoenix feather appeared, summoning them to the Order meeting. Lily looked surprised as it landed between their plates on the table.

"Are we being summoned to some disaster?" she asked as James picked up the letter.

"No," he said, scanning the short message. "There's a meeting tonight."

"When?"

"We have five minutes before this becomes a portkey."

Lily sighed, and pushed back from the table. "I'll go get Harry's things."

Five minutes later, James and Lily were both holding the letter that had appeared on their table. James held Harry, while Lily had his diaper bag slung over her shoulder. Lily looked at James a bit nervously.

"Make sure you really hold on to him," she cautioned.

James smiled tolerantly. "I've been traveling by portkey for awhile now," he said. "In fact, I think the first time I did it, I was Harry's age."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Yes, but this is your first time doing it with a baby in your arms."

"He'll be fine," James said soothingly.

Lily opened her mouth to say something else, but her words died on her lips as she felt the jerk behind her navel that indicated that they were being transported to their destination. After a few moments, she felt her feet slam into the ground. She struggled to hold her balance, not wanting to stumble into James and Harry.

"Steady there," said a familiar voice as a hand grabbed her arm to keep her on her feet.

She smiled as she looked up. "Thanks, Sirius."

"No problem," he said, giving her a wink. He leaned down to kiss her cheek. "How are you, Little Flower?"

"Fine," she answered honestly. During the past week, she had found that she was able to go on with her life. The guilt wasn't as pressing this time as it had been when her parents had died. Maybe she was getting used to the horrors that came with her life.

Sirius gave her another smile, then took Harry from James's arms. "And how's my favorite godson?" he asked. He grinned at the baby, lifting him high up into the air, then cuddling him close. He grinned again, and kissed the top of his head. "I can't wait until you're old enough to talk. We're going to have such great conversations."

James laughed. "Are you anticipating that he'll be a chatterbox, then?"

"With you two for parents, how could he not be?" Sirius grinned.

Lily was about to make an indignant reply, but was cut off by Dumbledore's voice.

"If you could all please find a seat, I'd like to begin," he called.

James, Lily and Sirius made their way to three seats in the middle of the room. Remus and Laura quickly sat down behind them, while Olivia and Peter took two seats next to them. While she was greeting them, Lily didn't notice who had sat down in front of them. Just before Dumbledore began speaking, Alice Longbottom turned around.

"Hi, Mum," she said cheerfully.

"Alice!" Lily exclaimed with a grin. "How is Neville?"

"Fine," Alice grinned, holding up the baby for Lily to see.

"Oh, look at you!" Lily exclaimed, reaching out to touch the baby's cheek. "He's sweet, Alice. He looks like you."

"So everyone tells me," she grinned. She kissed Neville's cheek, and lowered him back to her lap. When she looked at Lily again, her eyes were serious. "I've heard that you quit work."

"Yes," Lily said with a sigh. "I had no idea it would cause so many problems."

"You can't blame yourself," Alice said firmly. "In the end, it was Dorcas's decision, not yours. There was nothing you could do."

"I know," Lily said. She smiled sadly. "Things can work out awfully, can't they?"

"It's not always –" Alice's statement stopped abruptly as Dumbledore stepped to the center of the room.

"Welcome," he said, his eyes twinkling at them. "I'm glad that all of you could make it on such short notice."

A ripple of laughter ran through the room. Dumbledore's messages did not _suggest_ attendance at Order meetings; they demanded it. The old man smiled, then continued.

"As I'm sure you've all heard by now, we have lost one of our members," he said, the twinkling in his eyes dying down. "Dorcas Meadows was killed by Voldemort one week ago. The attack took place in her office, and was unprovoked."

Whispered comments broke out around the room. Everyone had heard these details over the course of the past week, but that did not help to ease their outrage over what had happened to Dorcas.

"Dorcas was a wonderful person," Dumbledore said. "There is no need for me to enumerate her qualities; you all knew her as well as I did. And you also all know as well as I do that she was incredibly dedicated to our cause. She died in defense of our efforts, giving her life to save the lives of Lily and Harry Potter. Through her refusal to inform Voldemort of their location in the Daily Prophet offices, she bought them the time they needed to escape."

Lily bit her lip and blinked rapidly. All that Dumbledore was saying was true. If it had not been for Dorcas's sacrifice, she and Harry would both be dead. She reached over to take the baby from James's arms, and held him close. Looking at her, James felt the concern rise up in him again. She had been doing so well. Perhaps this meeting wasn't a good idea. It didn't seem to be helping her at all.

"Dorcas showed the sort of dedication that we have come to expect from all of you," Dumbledore continued. "The best way for you to honor her memory is to demonstrate that dedication to the fight against Voldemort and his forces. If we all can be as sure of ourselves and as brave as Dorcas, there is no reason that we will fail."

Peter squirmed slightly in his seat. What was Dumbledore talking about? Dorcas had been killed for what she had done. If they all followed her example, they would all be killed one by one until there was no one left. Relief spread through him as he realized that he would not be one of those who were killed. He had found a way to be loyal to two masters. He had found a way to save himself from Dorcas's fate.

Sirius glanced at Peter for a moment, watching the conflicting emotions on his face. What was going through his head? He sighed, certain that it was fear of dying. Peter wasn't comfortable being out on the front lines risking his life the same way that their other friends were. He was far happier hiding behind them – as he always had been. For some reason, their first battle with Snape flashed through his mind, focusing on the picture of Peter stuck in the stair at Hogwarts as Sirius, James and Remus defended him. Sirius shook his head. The only reason that Peter had joined the Order in the first place was to avenge Kathleen's death. He hoped that the memory of the one girl he had ever loved would be enough to keep him steady on course.

Dumbledore finished speaking about Dorcas, and called forth Frank Longbottom and Alastor Moody to update the group on Death Eater movements. They spoke for quite some time, discussing what the Death Eaters had done, what they had tried to do, and what the Aurors were doing to stop their progress.

At long last, the meeting was adjourned. Alice turned around in her seat again.

"I'm sorry about what happened," she said softly. "Frank and I have had similar run-ins with Death Eaters, and I know that it's not fun."

Lily sighed, and tried to smile. "Well, they've driven us from our home and killed our friends. It can't get much worse, right?"

Alice shook her head. "I certainly hope not." She paused. "Listen, now that we're both off work and have these two little boys at home with us, maybe we can start getting together during the day."

"You've decided not to go back to work?" Lily asked in surprise. She knew how dedicated Alice was to the Auror department, and how much she loved her job.

"I had decided that before Neville was born," Alice grinned. "After all those years of waiting for him, there's no way I was going to leave my baby." She grinned wider. "I think that Frank's mum was disappointed with my decision. She was rather eager to babysit."

Lily grinned. "James's mum is the same way."

"I'm glad you understand," Alice laughed. "What do you say, then? Shall we start arranging play dates for our little men?"

"That sounds wonderful," Lily agreed. "Harry's going to need some friends before he starts at Hogwarts."

Alice laughed again. "Yes, we wouldn't want to have them branded as anti-social before they're five months old!"

Frank appeared at Alice's side, and took Neville from her arms. "Hi, Lily," he said with a smile. "How are you?"

"Fine," she smiled back. "Alice and I were just talking about getting Harry and Neville together for a play date."

"That sounds great," Frank grinned. "And I think it will be great for the boys' mothers to get out and be around adults during the day as well."

Both women laughed and nodded. One look into each other's eyes assured them that they were both thinking the same thing: It would be wonderful to have an adult conversation during the day while their husbands and friends were at work.

"I'll be in touch," Alice promised.

"I can't wait to hear from you," Lily replied with honest sincerity.

* * *

It was not yet late when Lily and James began preparing to return home, but Harry had already fallen asleep. Lily smiled as she looked at the sleeping baby in her husband's arms.

"Poor little guy," she said affectionately. "I think his first Order meeting tired him out."

James grinned, and kissed the baby's head. "I'm sure he'll sit through more boring things than this meeting during his lifetime – for example, Professor Binns's class."

"James!" Lily laughed. "You can't talk about your colleagues like that!"

James merely laughed, and picked up the portkey that would take them home. "Here, grab on to this."

Lily nodded, and reached out to touch the pen in his hand. Within moments, she felt the jerk that transported her home.

"Finally! Where have you been?"

Lily screamed as her feet slammed into her kitchen floor and the unknown the voice filled her ears. Awakened by his mother's scream, Harry began to cry.

"What's going on?" James asked, rocking the baby back and forth.

Lily was clutching her heart as she recognized her friend. "Dana, what are you doing here?" she cried. "You nearly scared me to death!"

"You did give me the password to Apparate or Floo into your house, you know," Dana grinned. "You have no one to blame but yourself for these surprise visits."

"Not funny," Lily said. Her eyes swung from Dana to Aidan. "Did we have something planned this evening? We were summoned to that Order meeting so fast, I didn't even think about any plans we might have had . . ."

"Oh, no," Dana assured her. "We just thought we'd drop by."

Lily looked away from her friends, and so did not notice the look that passed between Dana and Aidan. James did see the nervous smiles on their faces, but barely had time to ponder their meaning before Lily was speaking again.

She reached out to take the still-crying baby from James. "I should make you put him back to sleep, since you're the reason that he's awake at this point," she said as she tried to hush Harry.

"Actually, I wouldn't mind," Dana said with a smile. "I could probably use the practice."

It was more her tone than the words themselves that made Lily stop her ministrations to her son. She lifted her eyes from the baby's face to her friend's, her mouth open in an "o" shape.

"Dana," she whispered, "are you -?"

Dana grinned and nodded, her eyes shining with tears of happiness. "In May, Harry will get to meet his new playmate."

Lily gave a shriek, and passed the baby back to James. She flung herself forward, throwing her arms around Dana.

"Dana, I can't believe it! How long have you known?"

"I just found out yesterday," Dana replied, hugging her friend close. "I wanted to tell you first – well, after Aidan and our families, of course."

Lily reached up to wipe away the tears that were beginning to fall down her cheeks. She stepped back from Dana, and turned to hug Aidan, who was having his hand shaken by James. James took the opportunity to kiss Dana's cheek, congratulating her.

When Harry was asleep and tucked into his crib, the four adults sat around the kitchen table, discussing all the aspects of parenthood. James looked at Aidan with a grin.

"Any words of advice, then?" Aidan asked, recognizing the laughter in James's eyes.

"Silencing charm," James grinned. "Just put a charm on the nursery, and _you'll_ sleep like a baby."

They all laughed, and Lily playfully hit James's arm. She turned back to Dana and Aidan, her expression thoughtful.

"Have you told the others?" she asked.

"Not yet," Aidan replied. "We wanted to tell you two straight off, since you already have Harry. We parents need to stick together."

"I was thinking of having everyone over to tell them," Dana said. "Do you think everyone will be able to make it next Saturday?"

"Probably," Lily said. "Let them all know, and start planning! This is an excellent reason to celebrate!"

* * *

On the appointed Saturday, James and Lily took Harry to Dana and Aidan's house for their dinner party. They were the last to arrive, which had become a habit since Harry's birth. As soon as they walked in the door, Sirius took Harry from Lily's arms. He sat down on the couch and arranged the baby in his lap, beginning an in-depth conversation with him. Olivia, who was sitting in Greg's lap across the room, watched him silently for a moment.

"You're quiet," Greg said softly.

Olivia blinked, and looked away from Sirius and Harry, focusing on Greg's smiling eyes. "I just never knew that Sirius liked children so much," she confessed. "Watching him with Harry is so different – it's actually kind of fun."

Greg frowned slightly, but quickly let his face relax into a calmer expression, as if it didn't bother him in the slightest to hear his girlfriend speak of her former boyfriend in such intimate terms. "It makes him seem kinder? Is that it?"

"Not exactly," Olivia said uncomfortably. She would never tell him the truth – that watching Sirius with Harry made her realize what a good father he would be one day. "It just makes me look at him a bit differently, that's all."

"Different good?" Greg pressed.

"Yes, different good," she replied. "And after the way he's been acting around me recently, anything that makes him look better is a good thing."

"How has he been acting?" Greg asked, his eyes narrowing.

Olivia bit her lip. She hadn't meant to tell him that. Greg always got so upset when he thought that Sirius wasn't treating her the way she should be treated. And Sirius _never_ treated her badly – he just hadn't been talking to her the way he normally did. He was holding back from her in a way he hadn't since they had first become partners. She hated it when he withheld himself from her, and he knew it. Why was he acting this way?

"Olivia, what do you mean?" Greg asked.

"He's just been a bit distant, that's all," she admitted. She lifted herself off his lap. "If Harry is here, James and Lily must be as well. Do you want to come with me to find them? We need to say hello."

"Sure," Greg replied, standing to his feet. He took Olivia's hand in his and kissed it. "We're okay, aren't we?"

Now it was Olivia's turn to frown. "Of course. Why wouldn't we be?"

Looking into her wide eyes, he realized that she honestly hadn't meant anything by her observations of Sirius and Harry. "No reason," he smiled. "Sometimes I just have to work to convince myself that you're with me, that's all."

She laughed. "Greg, you are too sweet. Of course I'm with you. Now let's go find Lily and James."

They made their way through the rooms of the first floor of Dana and Aidan's house and found the Potters in the kitchen, chatting with Remus and Peter. All four looked up when Olivia and Greg entered the room.

"Hi, Liv!" Lily said cheerfully, hugging her friend close. "I feel like I haven't seen you in ages! Where have you been?"

"Working," Olivia sighed as Greg and James shook hands. "Things are getting crazy with all the Death Eater activity. We've seen an amazing increase in the past few months."

Remus shook his head, and put his finger over his lips. "Not tonight, Liv," he said softly. "We need to concentrate on the _good_ things that are happening for once in our lives."

"Good things?" Olivia repeated. "By _good things_ would you be referring to the partner that barely talks to me anymore?"

James, Remus and Peter exchanged a glance. Noticing the look that passed between them, Olivia's annoyance increased.

"Sirius won't talk to you?" Lily asked, sensing that Olivia needed to let out her frustration.

"No, he won't," Olivia said angrily. "And something tells me that at least three of the people in this room know why. Would anyone care to fill me in?"

Remus and Peter both looked at James. He sighed, and touched Olivia's arm.

"Let's go outside to talk."

Olivia's eyes widened. This must be serious. "All right."

She followed James to the backyard, where he cast warming charms over them. He smiled slightly.

"Unfortunately, I don't have Lily's ability with charms, but hopefully this will keep us a little warmer."

"I'm warm enough," Olivia said. "What's going on, James? Why won't Sirius talk to me?"

James drew a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. "Liv, when has Sirius ever held back from you?"

"When he's in a tough emotional place," she said at once. "He was like this when his uncle died, and . . . I think when your dad died, even though we weren't really together then. I could still tell. I know he gets horribly angry, but inside – the part he really needs to release – he just can't for a while. He thinks he can, and he tells everyone that he can . . . And because he has such a violent means of expressing himself, everyone believes him. But I always made him talk everything through . . . he hated that, you know."

James smiled sadly. "But he needed that," he said softly. "He still does. He still needs someone to make him realize how he feels, to make him talk . . ." He sighed, and ran his hand through his hair. "His brother died, Liv. That's a lot for him to deal with."

Olivia gasped, her hands flying to her face. "What?" she cried. "How? When? What happened?"

"You didn't know?"

"No," she said softly. "He never said a word to me about it."

"You didn't hear about it a work?"

"James, one Death Eater dying isn't news," she said. "The ones right in the inner circle are important enough to tell the world about, but someone like Regulus . . ." She trailed off, her eyes widening again. "Was he killed by an Auror?"

"No," James sighed. "It would appear that he was killed by the Death Eaters."

"They're destroying their own ranks?" she whispered, her voice full of wonder. "Why on earth would they do that?"

"I don't know," James confessed. "I don't have the details, and I probably never will. But that's what's going on with Sirius right now. I've tried to get him to talk to me about it, but he won't. He went to the funeral with Andromeda, which I think was the best thing for him, but he hasn't really talked about it since then. Every time I try to bring it up, he just says that Regulus knew what he was getting in to when he started."

"He doesn't believe that," Olivia said at once. "He never thought that Regulus understood the risks of being a Death Eater. That's why he fought so hard to keep him away from it."

"I know," James said softly. "He's dealing with the loss of Regulus as well as his own personal failure as an older brother. He worked so hard to keep Regulus away from the Death Eaters, and not only did he fail at that, he failed to keep him safe." He ran his hand through his hair again. "He actually seems like he's pretty much back to normal at this point. I've been impressed with his transition."

"He's not completely over it, though, is he?" Olivia asked. She bit her lower lip. "I suppose I could try to talk to him."

"Be careful, Liv," James said. "He hasn't brought it up to me in ages, so I think he's pretty well moved on. Don't reopen any old wounds."

When James and Olivia walked back into the kitchen, Dana was lifting a dish from the oven. She put it on the counter, and pointed her wand to levitate it into the dining room.

"There you are!" she smiled. "Go on into the dining room and sit down. We're just getting ready to eat."

They walked into the dining room, where James slid into the seat next to Lily. She looked at him with a smile, and he squeezed her hand.

"What happened?" Lily asked in a low tone.

"She didn't know about his brother," James whispered. "Apparently, he never told her."

Lily frowned. "That's odd."

"Is it?" James asked.

"Hey, no secrets," Laura teased from across the table.

James looked directly across into her eyes with a grin. "I was just saying that you look lovely tonight."

Laura laughed. "I haven't seen you give anyone that flirty smile since before you started dating Lily. Should I feel special?"

"Always," James said, his smile changing to a genuine one.

Even the smile could not hide the concern in his eyes. Laura looked far worse than the last time he had seen her. Her cheeks were paler, she had clearly lost weight, and her eyes looked too large for her face. James looked at Lily, who shook her head mutely as Dana came in with three plates of food floating in front of her.

Dana set the plates down on the table, and stood in front of her chair. Aidan looked up at her for a moment, then rose to his feet with her.

"Everyone, before we begin eating, we'd like to tell you the reason for this evening's party," Aidan smiled. He looked at Dana, who nodded.

"I'm pregnant!" she exclaimed, a beaming smile breaking out across her face.

A gasp went up from the table, followed by a cheer. Everyone jumped up from their chairs to congratulate the happy couple, neither of which could stop smiling.

"When are you due?" Olivia asked, a beaming smile crossing her own face.

"May eleventh," Dana smiled. She giggled. "And I expect you all to clear that date on your calendars now so that you can be there to welcome my little one!"

"Of course we'll be there," Sirius grinned. "We were there for Harry, and we'll be there for . . . Have you chosen a name yet?"

"Not yet," Aidan laughed. "We're still arguing over that one."

Dana made a face. "He wants to name a boy Liam."

"It's a good Irish name!" Aidan protested, his accent thicker than any of them had heard it in years.

"Yes, but my brother's best friend when he was little was named Liam," Dana said. "That boy made it his mission to torment me every time I saw him." She made a face and shook her head. "He was awful."

"We'll talk about it later," Aidan said. "What do you all say we start eating all this food?"

Dinner progressed rapidly as everyone talked and ate. Words tumbled out of mouths as everyone tried to make him or herself heard over the commotion. After the final course had been eaten, Lily, Olivia and Laura volunteered to help Dana clean up. While the men took Harry into the living room, the women used their wands to store leftover food and clean dishes.

"I guess that offer means a lot more in the Muggle world," Laura giggled as the last plate zoomed into the cupboard.

"I, for one, am glad to be done early," Olivia smiled. "I need to – well, I want to talk to Sirius, if he's willing."

Dana raised her eyebrows. "What happened to not wanting anything to do with him?"

"We're still _friends_, Dan," Olivia said in exasperation. She quickly left the kitchen, leaving the others to watch the door swing behind her.

"And what happened to her happy relationship with Greg?" Laura asked.

"That's true," Lily sighed. "She's always just bouncing around emotionally, isn't she?"

"She is that," Dana agreed with a sigh of her own.

Laura crossed to sit down. "I hope she can get it together someday."

"So do I," Lily replied. She looked at Laura with concern in her eyes. "Are you feeling all right, love?"

"I'm fine," Laura said quickly. "I'm just a bit tired."

"Have you been to see Dr. Hayward recently?" Lily asked. "Maybe he could adjust your medication so you'll have more energy."

Laura smiled sadly. "He's always adjusting it," she confessed. "I'm – I'm not sure how much more he'll be able to do for me."

Dana and Lily looked at each other with eyes wide open with fear.

"What do you mean, Laura?" Dana asked softly, sitting down across from her friend.

"Nothing – everything – I don't know!" Laura exclaimed. She took a deep breath, and looked down at her hands, which were shaking. "Can we please not talk about this right now? I really don't want to be the one who puts a damper on your fantastic news, Dana."

"But we will talk about it?" Lily asked.

Laura smiled her sad smile again, but remained silent. Her silence scared Lily and Dana more than any words ever could have.

* * *

Olivia walked into the living room, and let her eyes scan the faces in front of her. James was talking to Greg and Peter to her left, and Sirius and Remus were playing with Harry to her right. Hoping that she was doing the right thing, she crossed to join Sirius and Remus.

"Hi, guys," she smiled.

"Hey, Liv," Remus said, swinging Harry up in the air. "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen with the other girls, talking about the awful things your men have done recently?"

Olivia laughed. "We don't make you guys are topic of conversation all the time, you know."

"Oh?" Sirius grinned. "What else is there?"

"Harry," she said, reaching up to run her hand over the baby's head. She smiled, and leaned in to kiss his chubby cheek. "I can't believe how big he's getting."

Remus grinned, and adjusted the baby in his arms. "Well, he's almost four months old. He's practically grown up."

Olivia made a face at him. "Leave me alone."

"You're the one who came over to join us," Remus laughed.

"Well, I actually came over because I wanted to talk to Sirius," she replied.

"To me?" Sirius asked in surprise.

"If you have a minute?"

"Sure," Sirius said. "I think that Harry can take care of Remus until we get back."

Olivia smiled, grateful that he had realized that she wanted to talk to him in private. "Let's go into the dining room."

They walked together across the living room and entered the room they had so recently vacated. The candles that Aidan had lit for the meal were still burning, casting flickering shadows into the corners of the room.

"What's going on?" Sirius asked, looking at her with concern. "Is it something about work?"

"No, it has nothing to do with work," Olivia replied. She took a deep breath, and looked Sirius straight in the eye. "I was talking to James earlier, and he told me about your brother. I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry. It shouldn't – things shouldn't have happened that way. Regulus deserved far better."

"Yeah, he did," Sirius said. He exhaled, and ran his hand through his hair. "James told you about this?"

"Yes," Olivia replied, "and I'm glad he did. Don't you think that I deserve to know what's going on in your life, Sirius? I know we're not – we're not together like we used to be, but we're still friends. Friends share things like this."

"Not friends like us, Liv," Sirius said softly, blinking back tears.

"What do you mean?" she asked, her voice just above a whisper.

"I didn't want to tell you," he said hoarsely. "I didn't want you to see me like this."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, stepping closer to him. "You're supposed to grieve for your brother, Sirius."

"I didn't want to – I want to be strong for you, Liv. I can't be strong when we're talking about something that's tearing me apart inside."

Olivia blinked. She had never expected to see this side of Sirius. She had always suspected that it existed, but to have his guard completely lowered like this – she didn't know how to respond. Doing the only thing she could think of, she reached out to touch his arm.

"Let me be the strong one this time," she said softly.

Sirius drew a deep breath, trying desperately to control his tears. "I can't," he said so softly that she barely heard it.

"Yes, you can," she said, stepping even closer. "Just let go. I'm here for you."

A crash and then a shriek split the air, ending their moment. They looked at one another for a split second, then pulled out their wands, and charged into the living room.

At least ten masked Death Eaters were spilling into the living room, shooting curses at anyone they could see. Without exchanging so much as a glance, Sirius and Olivia went into Auror mode. All emotion left their bodies except the adrenaline to fight against the intruders. They had to defend Harry.

The three girls from the kitchen ran in at the same time as Sirius and Olivia, all with their wands drawn. Lily's eyes betrayed her terror as they searched the room for her baby.

"Remus has him," Laura said, grabbing Lily's hand. "He'll take care of him."

"But where are they?" Lily asked desperately.

As if he knew what she was asking, Remus, who was still clutching Harry to him, ran to Laura and Lily.

"Take him!" he yelled, offering the baby to his wife. "Take him and get out of here!"

"Where should I go?" Laura cried, taking the baby that Remus practically shoved at her.

"Go to my house," Lily said in an urgent whisper. "You know the password; just Floo there."

"You can Floo from my bedroom," Dana added. "Go now! Hurry, before they see you!"

Laura took off at a sprint, while the others took up the battle against the Death Eaters. Lily had never been so terrified. She wanted desperately to be with her baby, to know that he was safe. But she knew that it was better this way. Laura wasn't strong enough for a battle like this. Lily knew that Laura would do everything in her power to defend Harry, but she also knew that multiple Death Eaters could be too much for her to handle.

"They'll be fine," Remus said as much to reassure himself as to calm Lily. "Laura can do this. She'll make sure he's safe."

"I trust her," Lily said. She turned to face her friend. "And I trust you."

Remus smiled at her. "Duck left," he said, the smile sliding off his face.

Lily did as he instructed, and Remus raised is wand to Stun the Death Eater who had been behind her. The sound of a body smacking against the floor confirmed that his spell had hit its mark.

"How did they find us?" Lily muttered to herself. "How did they know? How did this happen?"

The battle quickly became intense. The Death Eaters lost no time in using Unforgivable Curses, as well as horribly damaging curses that Lily had never heard of. She caught sight of Peter at one point, and saw her own terror and confusion reflected in his eyes. However, while she was doing all she could to aid in the battle, Peter appeared to be frozen in place. She wanted to shake him to make him move, but didn't have the time.

"_Stupify_!" she yelled, closing in on a Death Eater.

She watched as he hit the floor, and shot another spell at him to tie his wrists and ankles. Then, without warning, she felt a pair of large, rough hands close around her throat. She gasped, then coughed.

"Where is your son?" the Death Eater demanded.

Lily coughed again, struggling to breathe through his tightening grip on her neck.

"Where is he?" the Death Eater yelled, shaking her.

Even if she had been able to speak past the hands that were quickly cutting off her oxygen supply, she wouldn't have been able to tell him. As gasping for air became impossible, all the details in her mind became fuzzy. She felt her eyes rolling back as darkness closed in around her.

"_Stupify_!" Aidan yelled.

The man who had captured Lily fell to the ground, dragging her with him. Taking deep, soothing breaths, she looked up at Aidan with a grin of thanks, then bound the Death Eater so that he couldn't move. Massaging her throat, she stood to return to the battle.

A shriek reverberated through the house. Alarmed, Lily jumped. She looked around wildly, only to discover that one lone Death Eater remained in the house.

"_REDUCTO_!" Sirius yelled.

Lily turned in time to see a Death Eater fall to the floor, clutching his chest. Judging by his appearance, Sirius had successfully broken his rib cage, allowing the bones to splinter into his lungs. Remus crossed to help the man. After Stunning him and putting him into a full-body bind, he began healing his cracked bones and punctured lungs.

"Stop it, Remus!" Dana shrieked hysterically. "Leave him to die! He deserves to die! They all do!"

Shocked beyond words, Lily turned slowly to face her friend. Dana was on the floor, clutching Aidan to her. She sobbed uncontrollably as she rocked back and forth.

Lily reluctantly moved her eyes from Dana's face to Aidan's. His eyes and mouth were open in a shocked expression. Lily sank down to her knees as the reality hit her. Aidan was gone.


	47. To Keep Fighting

A/N: Wow, I didn't expect such outrage on behalf of Aidan! I had no idea he was so well-loved. Well, I am sorry that he had to die, but it had to happen. Unfortunately, he won't be the last character we have to bid farewell.

**Leela74:** Those were really good questions! I actually had to think about the answers for a minute! Let's see . . . Lily, James and company are about 21 now. Lily and James will be 22 when they die. They've been out of school for three years. I'm sorry, but I can't tell you the death count – it'll make the rest of the story too easy to guess! I have to keep _some_ things secret!

Thanks for reading and reviewing, everyone! This chapter is a bit shorter than most – it was going to be part of the last chapter, but I decided to split it. I hope you like it!

I don't own Harry Potter.

To Keep Fighting

James watched as Lily brushed a strand of red hair back from her face, giving her easier access to attach a pearl earring to her ear. Feeling his presence at her back, she focused on his image behind her in the mirror. James tried to smile at her, but failed.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

Lily shook her head, causing both of her earrings to jump. She turned from the mirror, and smoothed imaginary wrinkles from her black skirt. "How many times are we going to have to do this?" she asked.

James shook his head. "I don't know," he answered honestly.

"I can't do this anymore, James," Lily sighed, her eyes filling with tears. "I can't go another funeral for another friend who was killed by Death Eaters."

"We have to go," James said, reaching out to touch her cheek. "We have to be there for Dana. She needs us now more than she ever has before."

"I know that," Lily replied, blinking back her tears. "I want to be there for Dana. You know I do. I just – I just wish it didn't have to be this way. They were so happy. They had just found out about the baby. All their dreams were coming true. Why did this have to happen to Aidan now?"

"Why does it have to happen to anyone?" James asked. He pulled her close, and kissed the top of her head. "Maybe I'm just being selfish, Lil, but if something like this had to happen . . . I just thank God that you and Harry are safe."

Lily shuddered as she wrapped her arms around him. "I don't know if it's selfish or not – but I feel the same way."

James held her tightly for a moment, then kissed the top of her head again. "Come on. We need to get going, or we're going to be late. We still have to take Harry to my mum's house before we go to the church."

Lily stepped out of his arms and took a deep breath. "All right. I'm ready."

* * *

Aidan's funeral was one of the saddest events Lily had ever attended. Dana looked completely lost and alone, despite the family and friends who had gathered to support her. She kept her hands clasped over her still-smooth stomach as though trying to guard the baby sleeping inside. Tears streamed down her face as the minister spoke of Aidan as a wonderful son, brother, husband and friend.

After the service had ended and the casket that held Aidan's body had been lowered into the ground, the mourners gathered at the church again for the funeral luncheon. James and Lily sat with their friends, talking in hushed tones. Dana was making her way from one table to the next, thanking everyone for coming, and for their support. Remus watched her with concern in his eyes.

"Has she eaten anything?" he asked softly.

"I don't know," Olivia said, shaking her head. "I don't think so." She swallowed. "Really, I don't think any of us are eating much today."

"That much is true," Lily said, pushing her food from one side of her plate to another.

"Yes, but Dana needs to," Remus said, concern tightening his voice. "She needs to eat or she'll make herself sick. Especially now . . . She needs to eat for the baby."

"She knows that," Laura said gently, putting her hand on her husband's arm. "I'm sure that she's taking care of the baby. She's a Healer. She knows what she's doing, and she'd never do anything that could harm her baby."

"I know," Remus agreed, "but sometimes people don't think straight when they're grieving."

They fell silent, contemplating the truth of Remus's words. They finished picking at their food, but none of them stood to leave. They had not yet spoken to Dana.

She finished talking to her other visitors, and turned to the table where her friends were seated. Tears filled her eyes as she looked at them.

"Hi, guys," she said as she crossed to join them. "Thanks for coming."

"You knew we'd be here," Remus said standing to pull her close.

Dana allowed him to fold her into his arms, clinging to him as she struggled to regain her composure. She pulled back at last, and he looked at her with his Healer's eyes.

"How are you?" he asked, the short question that she had heard so many times since Aidan's death covering so much more coming from Remus than it did when asked by others.

"I'm holding up," she said honestly.

"Have you had anything to eat?"

"Oh, Remus, I couldn't eat anything. Not now."

"Dana . . ."

"I know that I need to eat," she said quickly. "I know what's at stake now. I just can't eat here. I promise I'll have a really big dinner tonight."

"All right," Remus said, knowing that her promise was the best he would get from her.

"Believe me, Remus, I'm doing everything I can to keep this baby safe," she said. She took a deep breath. "Aidan is gone. I _need_ to have his baby."

Remus touched her cheek. "I trust you. I know you can take care of yourself and your baby. I know you'll be a great mother."

Dana smiled briefly, then her eyes filled with tears again. "Can I talk to all of you?"

"Of course," Olivia said. "Sit down."

Dana shook her head. "Not down here with all these other people. Come upstairs with me."

Exchanging confused looks, they all rose from their seats and followed Dana up the stairs into the sanctuary. She looked at them sadly.

"You're going to want to sit down."

They obediently took seats in two pews, looking expectantly at Dana, who remained standing. She clasped her hands together to still their trembling.

"Guys, there's something I need to tell you." She paused, and swallowed hard, brushing at her hair. "This is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do."

"Just tell us, Dana," Lily said softly. "You know we're here for you."

"I do know," Dana replied. "That's what makes it so hard for me to say this." She drew a deep breath. "Since Aidan died, it's been like my entire life has been thrown into a free fall. Everything I had planned, everything I wanted, is gone. Everything except our baby. I have to do everything I can to make sure that nothing happens to our baby."

"You will," Sirius spoke firmly. "You're a strong woman, Dana. You'll be a fantastic mother. And we'll all be here to help you."

She took another shaky breath. "I know that all of you will always be there for me. But I . . . I can't stay here, guys. Not after what's happened. First my dad, now Aidan . . . I've lost two of the people who have meant the most in the world to me. I can't lose another. I just can't."

"What are you saying?" Peter asked slowly.

"I have to get out of here," Dana said. "I'm leaving England."

"You can't just leave!" Olivia cried, her eyes filling with tears. "Where would you go?"

"To France," Dana replied. "I've done some research, and it appears that Voldemort has not yet taken over there the way he has here. I'm not going to go to Paris – it's too obvious. He'll pick up his campaign there as soon as he leaves England's borders. But the south of France is beautiful, and it doesn't have the same strategic importance or significance that Paris does. It will be the perfect place to live and to raise my baby."

Lily swallowed hard, trying to blink back her tears. "But to just leave, Dana . . . Are you sure it's what you want to do? Do you really want to be completely on your own like that?"

"No, of course not," Dana said. "But I won't be on my own. My mum's going to come with me. She doesn't want me to take her grandchild away from her. This is the best way for us to hold our family together."

"But what about _our_ family?" Olivia protested. "We've been like family to one another since Hogwarts, Dana. How can you leave us?"

Dana's face fell, and a tear slid down her cheek. "I don't want to leave any of you. You have to understand, I'm not doing this because of you. I'm doing it to save my baby. Can't you see? I can't risk my baby's life." An unbidden sob escaped. "I've lost Kathleen, my father and Aidan to the Death Eaters. I can't lose my baby, too. I just can't stay in this country anymore. It's too much. Don't you see? It's too dangerous!" She covered her face with her hands as sobs began to shake her body.

Peter, who was sitting closest to her, jumped out of his seat, and pulled her close. She leaned against him, crying out her broken heart.

"You understand, don't you, Peter?" she asked.

"Yes," he said in a choked voice. In his mind, he saw Kathleen during their last meeting, when he had told her he loved her at the train station. "Yes, I understand. You have to do anything you can to protect yourself and those you love."

"Exactly!" Dana replied.

Peter nodded. "You have to do what you can to save yourself - whatever the cost," he murmured almost to himself. He tipped her chin up to look into her eyes. "You do what you need to do, Dana. We'll always be here to support you."

"Thank you," she whispered. "I knew you would understand."

"When will you leave?" Laura asked softly. Her eyes were huge in her pale face, and tears fell in silent tracks down her cheeks.

"As soon as I can," Dana said. "I know I have a lot to arrange, but if I wait too long, I'm afraid I won't be able to do it."

"You'll wait until after Christmas, won't you?" Olivia asked, her tears beginning to fall.

Dana shook her head. "I want to be gone by then." She turned to look at Lily, who was crying against James's shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Lil, that our babies won't get to be friends like we had planned."

"Don't be silly," Lily said, wiping at her cheeks. "We'll find a way to make it work. We'll plan trips to visit one another. Our babies will be as good of friends as we are. There's always a way to make anything work out."

* * *

Two weeks later, they all gathered in Dana's house to say goodbye. Dana had requested that they not give her a farewell party; this was not an event to celebrate. Her friends sat in her living room, looking at the boxes and luggage that stood waiting to be transported to her new home in France. Just looking at them – the boxes and suitcases that contained Dana's entire life – made tears well up in Lily's eyes. She couldn't believe that Dana, her friend of so many years, was leaving them.

Dana came down the stairs carrying her final suitcase. Peter jumped up to take it from her, and placed it in the stack with the others. She gave him a sad smile, which he returned. Ever since Aidan's brutal death, Peter had been particularly kind to Dana. They all were sure of the reason; of all their friends, Peter understood best the grief that Dana was experiencing.

Dana looked around at all of them with tears in her eyes. "I'm going to miss you all so much," she said, catching her lower lip between her teeth.

The softly spoken words were all it took. Lily and Olivia jumped up from their seats and threw their arms around Dana, all three sobbing as they clung to one another. Laura remained seated with Remus, clinging to his hand as silent tears streamed down her face. As much as she wanted to hug Dana, she knew that this moment belonged to the three Gryffindor girls. They had been through so much together, from their first year dormitory to their shared flat. They had seen one another through the small trials of homework and exams, the pain of teenage heartache, the stress of growing up, and the horror of losing loved ones to the terrible evil that shadowed their world. Although they had welcomed Laura into their fold from the day she had started dating Remus and would do anything for her, Lily, Olivia and Dana had always shared a bond with one another that was far stronger than the one they shared with Laura. They were sisters in all ways that mattered.

They finally broke apart, all wiping their tear-stained faces. Dana took gulping breaths, trying to calm down enough to speak. In the end, she gave up and began hugging all her friends silently. Once she had embraced them all, she lifted Harry from his position on Lily's lap.

"You're the one I'm _really_ going to miss," she whispered to the baby. "Your parents and I had such plans for you, Harry. You and my little one would have been such good friends – just like your parents and I are."

"They still can be," Lily said softly. "We'll work it out, Dana. Our babies have to know one another. We can't let them grow up without being friends."

Dana smiled, and kissed Harry's chubby cheeks. "Good luck to you, Harry Potter. I know you'll be a fantastically great wizard. With parents like yours, I'm sure you have amazing amounts of talent."

She gave the baby back to Lily, then hugged each of her friends again. She finally stood back and looked at them, wiping tears from her cheeks and eyes.

"I have to go," she said. "I love you all so much. I'm going to miss you every day."

"Then stay," Olivia said, wiping away her own tears. "Don't leave, Dana. No one's saying that you have to."

Dana shook her head. "I _do_ have to do this. You know why, Liv. Please, don't make it harder than it is."

Olivia stepped forward to hug Dana fiercely one last time. "I know," she whispered. "I'm just going to miss you so much."

When Olivia released her, Dana smiled sadly, looking at each of them. She opened her mouth to speak, but found herself incapable of speech.

"We're always going to be here for you, Dana," Remus said softly. "This doesn't really have to be goodbye."

She wiped her eyes again. "Until next time, then," she said softly.

She turned from them, and waved her wand to charm her luggage to travel to her new home. Then with one last sad smile, she threw a kiss to them all and Disapparated.

All three girls' faces crumpled as they began to sob. For several moments no one spoke as they all brought themselves under control again. Lily finally picked Harry up, and buried her face in his soft body. When she looked up at her friends, she realized for the first time exactly how much they were prepared to sacrifice to help her and James to protect their son.

"I'm sorry," she said softly.

"For what?" Olivia asked. "What do you have to be sorry for?"

"Everything," Lily replied helplessly. "I – this is all – the only reason Aidan died was because of us. Voldemort wanted to get to Harry, somehow he knew that we would be at Dana's house, and he came there to attack us. It wasn't Aidan or Dana that he was looking to destroy, it was _us_ – Harry, James and I. If we hadn't been there . . ."

"Don't think that way," Sirius said harshly. "This isn't your fault, Lils. It has nothing to do with you, or James, or Harry. There is no reason for you to take the blame for this."

"Sirius, you can say that all you want, but –"

"No," Sirius interrupted. "Did you ask to have a son who would be Voldemort's target? Did you ask for your child to be the one to shoulder this insane burden of being the one with the power to defeat him? Did you ask Aidan to try to defend you? Did you tell the Death Eaters to kill him? No, Lils, you didn't. The answer to all those questions is no."

"I know that," she said. "I know that it's not what I willed, and I know that I would love to change the way that things are. But, Sirius, I never realized when all this started how much danger you all would be in."

"You didn't ask for that, either," Sirius said softly.

"No," James said, clearing his throat. "I think what Lily's trying to say is that none of you asked for this, either. All the cards are on the table now, guys. You all know the price of being our friends. If you want to leave us, we're not going to blame you. Dana just got out of England to save herself and her baby. While I don't suggest jumping the border to avoid contact with Voldemort, if you want to spend less time with us, we're completely fine with that. Being our friends isn't exactly an easy thing."

Peter shifted uncomfortably. All the blame and responsibility that Lily and James were so willing take on themselves _should_ fall on his shoulders. He was the one who had told Voldemort of the party. He was the one who kept the Death Eaters informed of the Potters' movements. He was the one who was putting their lives in danger at every turn.

"Don't be ridiculous," Sirius said, looking at James as if he had grown a second head. "We've been behind you this far – we're not going anywhere now."

"We'll always be here for you," Olivia added.

"Definitely," Laura smiled. "You can't get rid of us that easily."

Remus smiled sadly, remembering the children they had been so recently, yet so long ago. "We stick together."

"We're behind you," Peter heard himself echo Sirius's words. He mentally kicked himself. He should be the first to remove himself from their lives. It would make things so much easier for Lily and James. But he couldn't. It was easier for _him_ to continue with things as they were.

* * *

It was late when they finally roused themselves from their positions in Dana's empty living room. James and Lily were the first to leave, wanting to put Harry to bed. Remus and Laura left soon after them; Laura looked exhausted. Peter then took his leave, saying that his mother would worry if he wasn't home soon. Sirius and Olivia were the only ones who remained, sitting alone together in the empty house.

"How are you, Liv?" Sirius asked.

She shrugged. "Okay, I suppose. You?"

"Okay," he repeated. He ran his hands over his face. "It's been an awful few weeks, hasn't it?"

Olivia nodded. "I can't believe this is happening. I never thought – I never imagined that I'd have to stay behind without Dana."

"At least it was her decision," Sirius said softly. "Kathleen and Aidan didn't have that."

"No," Olivia agreed. "I suppose I should be glad that she chose to leave of her own accord."

"But you're not."

"No," she sighed. "Maybe I'm selfish, but I want her here with me."

"That's not selfish. She's one of your best friends. You should want her here with you."

She nodded silently, no longer trusting her voice enough to speak. She didn't want to cry in front of Sirius. Not again.

He reached out to run a hand over her cheek. "You look tired. You should get home to get some sleep."

She closed her eyes, wanting to savor the feel of his hand against her face. She nodded slowly. "I am tired," she conceded.

"Do you want me to see you home?"

She opened her eyes to look into his. "It's probably best if you don't."

He nodded. "All right, then."

She stood up, mentally preparing to Disapparate.

"Liv, wait."

She turned back to him with her eyebrows raised.

Ten emotions ran across his face as he decided what to say to her. "Good night," he said at last.

She smiled sadly. "Good night." She Disapparated, leaving him alone in the house.

"I love you," he whispered, dropping his head into his hands.

* * *

Olivia made it back to her flat without incident. She could feel the tears pressing against the backs of her eyes as she dropped her wand onto the first end table she saw with a clatter and kicked off her shoes. She collapsed onto the couch, and began sobbing into her hands.

James and Lily's words bounced around in her head until she couldn't think of anything but the danger she was in by virtue of her association with them. She wasn't worried about herself. She was an Auror. Her entire world was about danger, risks and going to battle against Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Aside from that, Lily and James were her friends. She would do anything – sacrifice anything – for them. But she _was_ worried about Greg.

Greg hadn't asked for this. When they had started dating, it was because they liked one another and wanted to pursue a relationship, not because he wanted to risk his life due to her friends. She couldn't ask him to do it anymore. Not now. Not when things were so dangerous. Not when there was a very real chance that he could lose his life because of her. She sobbed harder as she realized what she had to do. She hated the idea, but it had to be done. It was the only fair thing to do.

She took a shaking breath, trying to steady herself. She knew what she had to do. Now it was just a matter of doing it.

* * *

Lily was sure that if the first Christmas after her parents had died was the most difficult holiday of her life, this Christmas was a close second. Just thinking of Dana, alone with her mother in France, mourning her husband, brought tears to Lily's eyes. But she fought back the dark feelings and sorrow. She had to create a joyful atmosphere for her baby's first Christmas.

They all went out together to find the perfect Christmas tree for their house. James laughed as he watched Lily fall into the spirit of the game; she had confessed before that the tree was her favorite part of the holiday. While James carried the baby, Lily darted around, studying each tree until she declared one to be "absolutely, brilliantly perfect." James looked at the tree critically, cocking his head first to one side and then to the other.

"What?" Lily asked. "You don't like it?"

"I'm just concerned it won't fit in the house," James laughed. "I think you've managed to find the largest tree they have!"

"We'll make it fit," Lily said stubbornly. She gave James a wink. "You can do anything if you put your mind to it."

James shook his head. "All right, all right. We'll get it."

Lily squealed joyfully and bounced up and down, clapping her hands together. "Oh, this is perfect! What do you think of your Christmas tree, Harry? Isn't it spectacular?"

Harry laughed at his mother's childlike display of excitement, bouncing in James's arms. Lily leaned forward to kiss his cheek.

"Just you wait until you see it all decorated," she promised. "You're going to love it. And Daddy will be happy that he bought it."

James smiled. "I'm already happy," he said. He shifted Harry to one arm, putting the other around his wife's waist. He pressed a kiss against her temple. "Seeing you happy makes me happy."

She smiled up at him. "I am happy." She took Harry from his arms, and began dancing around the tree with him.

James smiled as he watched them. For too long, Lily had gone through the motions of life with sorrow in her eyes, feeling the pain and heartache of knowing that Dana was so far away, adjusting to life without Aidan. Now, as he watched her dance with their son, James knew that just seeing this much joy on Lily's face made the tree worth every last coin he would have to turn over in exchange for it.

* * *

"Are you all right?"

Olivia turned from studying her Christmas tree to give Greg a sad smile. "I suppose."

"Are you worried about Dana?"

"A bit," she replied. "But she has her mother with her, and she's a strong person. I know she can make it through this." She drew a deep breath, knowing that she had to do this. If she didn't do it now, before Christmas, she never would. "I'm more worried about _you_, Greg."

"About me?" he asked in surprise. "Why? I'm fine."

"Yes," she said slowly, "you're fine right now. But what about next time something awful happens? What about the next time the Death Eaters crash one of our parties?"

Greg frowned. "What are you talking about, Liv? I'm not following."

She drew a deep breath, and sat down on the couch. "Come and sit with me a minute."

Greg obediently crossed to sit down next to her. He took her hand, and looked deeply into her eyes. "What's going on, Olivia?"

"I'm in danger, Greg. I'm in danger every day of my life."

"You're an Auror, Liv," he said slowly. "I've known that about you since day one. Is that what you're talking about?"

"No," she said slowly. "I would be in danger anyway because of my job, but I'm talking about a greater danger. I'm in danger because I'm friends with Lily and James."

He frowned. "You think Lily and James would hurt you?"

"No, never! Listen, this is going to be really hard to explain because I can't tell you everything. But just believe me when I say that Voldemort has chosen them as special targets. I can't tell you why, because I don't want you to be in danger."

"I'm fine, sweetheart. I'm not in danger."

"But that's just it! You _are_ in danger, just by your association with me."

"Don't be ridiculous. How can dating you put me in danger?"

"The same way being friends with Lily and James got Aidan killed. Now, Aidan is just like me, Dana, Sirius, Remus, Peter and Laura – we all knew about this before, and we all agreed to stand with Lily and James. We all promised to defend them. But you – Greg, I can't ask that of you. I know that you like Lily and James, but you're not friends with them like we are. You haven't been there with them from the beginning like we have. I can't ask you to risk your life for them the same way that I'm willing to."

"What are you trying to say, Olivia?" he asked, frowning again.

Tears filled her eyes. "I'm saying that we have to end this, Greg. We have to end this relationship tonight."

He swallowed hard. "You're breaking up with me?"

She nodded slowly. "It has to be over, Greg. I can't put your life in danger like this anymore. I can't – I – we have to be over."

"Liv, don't do this," he said desperately. "I'm not afraid, I can handle it –"

"No," she interrupted. "No, Greg, this is it. I can't do this to you. Please, just trust me and leave me now. Live your life without fear." She ran her hand over his face. "You deserve someone who will love you more than I do, who won't risk your life because of who her friends are. You deserve so much more than I can give you."

He swallowed again. "I love you, Olivia."

"I love you, too," she sighed. "That's why I have to do this." She leaned forward to kiss his cheek. "Please go now, Greg."

He looked at her for a moment, then gently kissed her lips. Then, without another word, he Disapparated.

Olivia brought her hands up to cover her face in one quick motion as a sob escaped. She rocked back and forth, trying futilely to contain the sobs that shook her body.

* * *

"That," Laura declared as she and Remus entered their dark house, "was exhausting!"

Remus laughed. "What, you didn't think that chasing the kids around was fun?"

"You know I love my nieces and nephews," she smiled as she dropped her jacket onto the back of a chair. "But can you tell me whose idea was it to change from building snowmen to playing tag?"

"That would be Matt," Remus called after her. She had already made her way into the living room.

"Ah, yes," she smiled from her position reclining on the couch. "He's generally the one who proposes things like that. He was excited about running around with the kids from the first day he became an uncle."

"You did only go one round," Remus said, his eyes filling with concern. He followed her into the living room, and sat down on the floor next to the couch so that his face was level with hers. "Are you all right, love?"

"I'm just tired," she smiled. "Christmas with two families in one day can be a bit much."

"Laura," Remus began. He took a deep breath, and took her hand. "After we started seeing Dr. Hayward, you were so much better, but now . . . I'm worried about you, love. You seem like you're getting worse again. How do you feel?"

Laura closed her eyes. When she opened them again, they were full of tears. "Remus, there's something I want to ask of you."

"Anything. You know I'll do anything for you."

"Good." She drew a shaky breath, and laced her fingers through his. "If something happens to me, Remus, and you're left alone . . . I don't want you to stay that way. I don't want you to spend the rest of your life mourning me. I want you to live your life, to find – to find a new love. I want you to get out, to date other girls, to marry someone."

"Laura," Remus said softly, his voice catching.

"Please, Remus," she said, a tear falling down her cheek. "I know that you love me as much as I love you. But please, promise me. Promise me that you won't let yourself die with me."

He looked deep into her eyes, seeing the very real concern there. If promising would make her happy, he would do it. Saying the words didn't mean he had to live up to them later. "I promise," he said at last, pressing his lips against hers.

Laura sighed with relief as he pulled back to kiss her neck. "Good," she sighed. "Thank you."


	48. Heartbreak

A/N: Sorry, everyone. I've had this chapter ready to go for a couple days, but for some reason, fanfiction wouldn't let me get into the documents section to upload it. Ah, technology. Ok, question answers first …

**Tears 4 Sirius:** No, this isn't the last chapter at all! I still have something like 14 to go! Aidan and Dana's last name is McKinley – for some reason, I even forgot that one. I had to go look it up! I do have plans for two more stories after I'm done with this one – now that I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, I've started planning them. None are about Harry's seventh year, though – I'm not confident enough for that!

**simply amazed:** Yeah, we're into sweeps season for the soap opera, and everyone has to get their sobbing Emmy reel ready. Seriously, I think that the deaths are finally winding down. Sorry about that. Have no fear - the crazy romantic drama will start up again soon! No, Dana's baby isn't anyone we've met in the series. I'm thinking of a story with the grown-up version of the baby in it, though … stay tuned!

**Deni:** Of course we'll hear from Dana again! Just because she's moved doesn't mean they'll stop being friends. She'll be back for a visit soon enough – just not for the happiest of reasons.

**School-of-Rock101:** Dana will most definitely be back! She'll never come back to live in her former home, but she'll be in contact with her old friends and return for visits.

**To all readers: **To date, this is the hardest chapter I've ever had to write. Just as a warning, I made myself cry with this one – and believe me, that's never happened before. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

I don't own Harry Potter or anything else familiar.

Heartbreak

_Hold on to me, love_  
_You know I can't stay long  
__All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid  
__Can you hear me?  
__Can you feel me in your arms?_

_Holding my last breath  
__Safe inside myself are all my thoughts of you  
__Sweet rapture in life  
__It ends here tonight_

_Closing your eyes to disappear  
__You pray your dreams will leave you here  
__But still you wake and know the truth  
__No one's there_

_Say good night  
__Don't be afraid  
__Calling me, calling me  
__As you fade to black_

_My Last Breath_, Evanescence

"My Last Breath" performed by Evanescence. Recorded on Fallen, produced by Wind-Up Entertainment, 2003. Words and music by B. Moody, A. Lee and D. Hodges

Remus opened his eyes to the sound of the shower. He rolled over to see Laura's side of the bed empty, and smiled to himself. It had been so long since _he_ had been the one to sleep in. Since Laura had gotten sick, he had practically had to drag her out of bed each morning. Maybe she was feeling better at long last. He pulled himself out of bed, and crossed the room to open the bathroom door.

"Good morning, love!" he called.

"Good morning!" Laura called back. "I'll be out in a minute!"

"Take your time," Remus replied, thrilled to hear the upbeat tone of her voice. She sounded like her old self – like the Laura he had married. "I'll go start breakfast."

"Thanks, Remus!"

Still grinning, Remus made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen. He waved his wand, sending the kitchen into a frenzy as breakfast began to prepare itself. He started setting the table manually – it was the one chore he never trusted to magic. He had seen one too many plates shatter as they hit the table to feel comfortable using his wand with the delicate task.

Laura walked into the kitchen dressed in her work robes just as Remus was transporting plates of food to the table. She gave him a cheery smile, then crossed to kiss his cheek.

"You've been busy," she smiled.

"You're up early," he replied.

She grinned. "You know, I truly feel like my old self today. I don't know what it is exactly, but I just feel better."

"I'm glad," Remus replied, relief evident on his face. "I've been waiting a long, long time to hear you say that."

"I've been waiting a long time to say it," Laura said. "In fact, what do you say we go out for dinner tonight? I want to celebrate."

"Celebrate?" Remus asked, raising his eyebrows. "What are we celebrating?"

"Well, if I'm feeling this much better today, I'd say things are on the way up. Maybe we'll be able to get back to our normal lives soon."

Remus gave her an ironic smile. "Sweetheart, you're married to a werewolf. Our best friends are being chased by one of the darkest wizards of all time. Our lives are anything but normal."

Laura laughed. "Well, as normal as things can be for us, then. What do you say? Will you meet me for dinner tonight? Three Broomsticks at seven?"

"You've got it."

* * *

Remus went through his day on a cloud of happiness. Finally, after all these months, his Laura was back. They could finally find their way back to their version of normal. Time seemed to crawl by until it was finally late enough to get ready to meet her without knowing that he would arrive at the Three Broomsticks ridiculously early.

He selected his favorite robes for the occasion. They weren't his dress robes, but they were far nicer than the ones he wore every day. He wanted to look "special" for Laura's celebratory dinner. With one last look in the mirror to assure himself that his hair was in place, he left their house to walk to the restaurant.

Laura was already seated and waiting for him when he arrived at the Three Broomsticks. He looked at her with a grin, and leaned down to kiss her lips.

"You're early," he commented.

"So are you," she grinned. "I got out of work early. I couldn't stand waiting anymore."

Remus sat down across from her and reached out to take her hand. "I can't get over it, Laura. What has brought on this surge of energy?"

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "I literally just woke up feeling better." She shook her head. "I don't expect you to understand. It doesn't even make sense to me."

"I'll talk to my dad," Remus said. "Maybe he knows something about it."

"But not tonight," Laura said in a low voice, covering the hand that held hers with her free one. "Tonight is entirely about us."

Remus smiled, and leaned across to kiss her again. "I like the sound of that," he murmured against her lips.

"Good," Laura smiled. She drew back and smiled again. "Let's decide what we want to order. I'm starving!"

Remus grinned as he opened his menu. His wife really and truly was back.

After dinner, they walked out of the restaurant holding hands. Laura looked up at the starry sky, certain that she had never felt so content.

"Can we walk for a bit before we go home?" she asked.

"Are you sure you won't be too cold?" Remus asked.

"It's not that cold," she replied. "Besides, I like to hear the snow crunch under my feet."

"All right," Remus agreed. "Let's walk, then. But if you're too cold, let me know."

She smiled up at him. "I won't be too cold. I have you to keep me warm."

He grinned, and pulled her close. "I think I can handle that mission."

"Come on," she said, pulling back and taking his hand. "Let's go."

They wandered around the village for nearly an hour before Laura reluctantly admitted that she was indeed cold. They then turned their steps homeward, kicking the snow from their shoes as they entered their warm house.

"This has been a lovely evening," Remus said as he took off his cloak. "I'm so glad you suggested it."

"It isn't over yet," Laura smiled.

"You have more plans for us?" Remus asked, looking at her with raised eyebrows.

"You could say that," she said, putting her arms around his neck. "Are you tired?"

"No," he replied. "Are you?"

"No." She leaned up on tiptoes to kiss him.

Remus wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer as their kiss deepened. Laura moaned softly, then pulled back to look up at him.

"What do you say we go to bed?"

"I thought you weren't tired," Remus said, kissing her neck.

"I never said I wanted to sleep," she whispered, running her hands through his hair.

Remus looked down at her with a wolfish grin, and kissed her again. Then he lifted her up into his arms, and carried her up the stairs to their bedroom.

* * *

Laura awoke with a start, and looked wildly from one side to the other. Remus was still sleeping next to her, lying on his stomach. His bare back was exposed where the blankets had slipped aside during the night. She jerked her head to the other side, and grabbed the clock from her nightstand. It was 4:30 – far too early to be awake. Yet she couldn't sleep. A terrible feeling of uneasiness had settled over her. What was it that had awoken her?

It was then that she noticed the shooting pain in her arm. What had happened to it? She was sure that none of the previous night's various activities would have caused such pain. She shook her head. She needed to calm down, or she'd never be able to sleep again. She started to take deep breaths, trying to compose herself.

A horrific pain – or was it more pressure? - came over her chest, rendering her incapable of drawing a deep breath. She had ever felt anything like this before, despite the various chest pains she had experienced in the past. She flung her arm to the side, slapping it down across Remus's back.

"Remus!" she screamed. "Help me!"

Remus was awake in an instant; he sprung to his feet. "What?" he cried as he looked down at her, already filled with panic. "What's wrong, love?"

"I don't know!" Laura gasped. "I can't breathe – my chest feels like someone's sitting on it – what's wrong with me?"

"Okay," Remus said, trying to stay calm, "okay. I'm going to call Dr. Hayward." He took off for the phone, running all the way down the stairs to the kitchen.

"Hurry!" Laura shrieked. The force of her scream took all the air from her lungs, and she began choking as she struggled to fill them again.

Remus raced into the kitchen, and yanked the receiver off the wall. He grabbed the paper that was tacked up next to the phone, and began punching the numbers of the doctor's emergency number. It only rang twice before a groggy voice sounded in his ear.

"Hello?"

"Dr. Hayward?"

"Yes?"

"This is Remus Lupin. I think we have a problem."

"What's wrong?" The doctor was instantly awake. "Is Laura all right?"

"She can't breathe," Remus said, fighting to control his panic. "She said her chest feels like someone is sitting on it."

"Meet me at the hospital as soon as you can," Dr. Hayward said, his voice inviting no further questions. "Don't worry about dressing. If you have aspirin in the house, give her two, then get to the hospital. I'll be there in ten minutes."

Without waiting for a reply, the doctor hung up. Remus stood for a moment listening to the buzzing of the dial tone. Dr. Hayward was worried. Did that mean . . .? He couldn't even formulate the thought. He wouldn't allow it. He had to get Laura to the hospital.

He raced up the stairs three at a time, and burst back into their bedroom. Laura was lying limply on the bed, her head to one side at an odd angle.

"Laura!" he yelled. He bounded across the room, and grabbed her up in to his arms. "Laura, can you hear me?" He ground his knuckles against her chest in a sternum rub, thanking God when she moaned. "Laura!"

Her eyes cracked open, and she looked up at him with a faint smile. "Love – you - Remus," she whispered.

"I love you, too," he said desperately. "Don't try to talk, love. We're going to meet the doctor at the hospital. He'll make you well again."

Laura's eyes closed again, and her head slid down. Remus looked at her in terror.

"Laura?" He slapped her cheeks. "Come on, Laura, wake up."

She remained unresponsive. He did another sternum rub; this time it did not elicit a response. Panic filled him as he felt for a pulse that wasn't there.

"Don't do this to me, Laura," he begged. "Don't you dare leave me now!"

He grabbed a pillow from the bed, and waved his wand at it, creating a Portkey. He held it tightly, clutching Laura just as tightly to him. Within seconds, they were being transported to the hospital.

Remus's feet slammed down in the hospital parking lot. He struggled to maintain his balance, terrified of dropping his wife. Once he was grounded again, he ran forward, entering the building through the emergency room bay.

Dr. Hayward and Danny were both waiting as Remus stumbled into the hospital with Laura in his arms. Danny rushed to grab a gurney, which Remus gently laid Laura on.

"That was really fast," Dr. Hayward said as he began taking Laura's vital signs.

"Was it fast enough?" Remus asked fearfully. "I couldn't find her pulse."

The doctor didn't answer. He jumped up onto the gurney, and began performing chest compressions. Danny jumped in to join him, and began breathing for her. Several other doctors appeared out of nowhere; they pushed the gurney away from Remus, down the hall to the examining rooms.

Remus brought his hands up to his face in horror. Too shocked to even cry, he sank down onto the nearest chair.

"Please, God, save her," he whispered. He wrapped his arms around himself as he began to rock back and forth.

* * *

"Sir? Excuse me, but is there someone I can call for you?"

Remus looked up at the nurse with misery-filled eyes. "Call?" he repeated.

"Yes, sir," she said. "Would you like to have someone from your family here?"

"My family . . ." He drew a deep breath, trying to make sense of what was happening. "Do you have any news about my wife?"

"Not yet, sir."

He nodded slowly. "Her parents," he said at last. "Her parents should be here."

"Do you have their phone number?"

Remus rattled off the digits of Laura's parents' number. He hoped it was right.

"I'll call them for you," the nurse promised. "I'll call them right now." She stood to return to the nurses' station.

"Thank you," Remus said. He took a deep breath, and ran his hands over his face. "Wait."

"Yes?" The nurse turned to face him again.

"There's someone else – my friends . . . Can I call them myself?"

"Of course." She handed him a second telephone.

Remus held the receiver for a moment, then slowly began to dial the numbers to reach James and Lily. He knew that they had a phone, and that they could reach the others, his parents included. He did not want to go through this alone.

* * *

Within an hour, they were all there. The Lupins, the Bonds, the Potters, Peter, Sirius, and Olivia all sat with Remus in the waiting room, desperate to hear news of Laura's condition. Even Hannah had been summoned from Hogwarts to her sister's bedside. She looked as shell-shocked as Remus felt. They were both dealing with the same horror: Magic, the thing they had come to rely on as a cure-all, had failed them. It couldn't save Laura from this horrible suffering.

"Remus?"

Remus raised his head from his hands to look at Dr. Hayward, who stood before him with the gravest expression he had ever seen. Remus jumped to his feet.

"How is she?" he asked.

"It's – it's not good, Remus," the doctor said heavily. "Come with me."

Remus followed the doctor out of the waiting room, moving away from the sounds of the questions and tears of those that he had left behind.

"Can her family see her?" he asked.

"In a moment," Dr. Hayward replied. He took Remus down a long hallway, stopping in front of a room. "She's in here."

Remus peered through the window to see his wife. She was lying on a bed, her face as pale as the sheets under her. Several tubes were connected to her arms, and one was connected to her mouth. Remus swallowed hard as he looked at her.

"Is she all right?" he asked.

"She's suffered a massive heart attack," Dr. Hayward replied heavily. "We managed to get her heart started again, but she's not breathing on her own. Do you see that machine? It's called a ventilator. It's breathing for her right now."

"But she'll be all right, won't she?"

"I . . . Remus, I don't think so."

"You don't think so?"

The doctor looked deeply into his eyes. "No, Remus. No, she's not going to be all right."

Remus swallowed hard again. "What happened?"

"She went a long time without a functioning heart and lungs. That time hurt her. We've run scans on her brain . . . Her brain function is far lower than it should be."

Remus looked at him, willing his own brain to function properly, to comprehend the doctor's words. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that right now, these machines are the only things keeping her alive. She will never be able to breathe without their assistance." He paused. "Do you understand what I'm trying to say? Her brain has been damaged irreversibly. That's why we're using the machines to breathe her for – her brain can't sustain her bodily functions on its own."

Tears welled up in Remus's eyes. "What can we do for her?" he whispered.

"We've done all we can," Dr. Hayward said. "We've used all the available resources and science. The only thing left to do is in your hands."

"What's that? I'll do anything for her."

"Remus, I'm going to have to ask you to make a very difficult decision. I've told you that the machines the only things keeping her alive."

"Yes?"

"I'm going to ask you to consider turning them off."

"What?" Remus finally took his eyes away from Laura as he faced the doctor fully, his face full of horrified shock. "You're asking me to kill my wife?"

"No, I'm asking you to let her go peacefully." Dr. Hayward ran his hands over his face. "She can exist indefinitely as she is right now. If you say the word, we will keep her alive artificially for as long as you like. However, the more humane thing to do would be to let her die with dignity. It would be to turn off the machines."

"I – I can't . . . I need to see her."

"Of course." The doctor opened Laura's door, and stepped aside. "I'll be out here if you need me."

Remus brushed past him and entered the room, softly closing the door behind him. He paused for a moment, taking in the sights and sounds of the room. The rhythmic beeping of the heart monitors and the soft, airy sound of the ventilator that helped Laura to breathe created a harsh, sterile environment. Remus drew a deep breath, and crossed the room. He sat down next to Laura, and took her hand in his.

"My God, Laura," he whispered. "How did we come to this? How did this happen? Why would God punish us this way? What did we ever do to deserve this?"

His tears finally began to fall. He bowed his head over her still body, letting the sobs shake his frame. How could he have to face this decision? How could he be the one to take away that which kept her heart beating and her lungs pumping? How could he be the one to decide if Laura should live or die? He wasn't God. He shouldn't have this kind of power. He couldn't do it. He just couldn't.

He had no idea how long he sat with Laura, but he was suddenly aware of the presence of another in the room. He raised his head, and looked up to see Danny standing next to him. He held out a plastic hospital cup.

"I brought you some coffee. I thought you might need it."

"Thanks," Remus said. He took the cup, and raised it to his lips. He made a face as the bitter brew hit his tongue. "You know, I've never liked coffee. That's Laura's preferred beverage, not mine."

"But you're drinking it now."

"I do when I'm in hospitals," Remus shrugged. "It seems like the thing to do."

Danny nodded, and pulled up a chair to sit down next to him. "Did Dr. Hayward explain everything to you?"

"You mean, did he ask me if I'm ready to sign my wife's death sentence?"

"Remus, that's not exactly what you'd be doing."

"He said that these machines are keeping her alive, but that I have the power to turn them off. How exactly does that mean that I'm not the one responsible for her death?"

"Remus," Danny sighed.

"Is there another way to explain it?"

Danny took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair just like James always did. Watching him, Remus wondered if it was a habit one had picked up from the other when they were little boys.

"Remus, you wouldn't be killing Laura because, in every way that matters, she's already gone," Danny said. "She's not Laura anymore. She's just a shell that is being kept alive by these machines. Her soul wants to leave her body, Remus, but we're keeping it here with medical technology. If you say the word, it will be released."

"But I'll be responsible for her death."

"No, you won't. Her heart condition is responsible for her death. She had a massive heart attack, Remus. It destroyed her heart, her lungs, her mind . . . The Laura that we knew is gone. We can keep her heart beating and her lungs functioning with these machines as long as we want, but we'll never have _Laura_ back."

Remus drew a shaky breath, and wiped a tear from his cheek. "You're saying that I should turn off the machines."

"It makes the most sense."

Remus looked away from Laura, turning to face Danny. "What would you do?"

"As a doctor?"

"No. As a husband."

"I'm not a husband, Remus."

"Pretend that you are for a moment. Or think of someone in your family. If you had to make this decision, what would you do?"

Danny was silent for a moment. "Right now, probably the same thing that you are. It would kill me to have to do this."

"But in the end?"

He paused, drawing a deep breath and exhaling slowly. "I'd turn off the machines," he whispered. "I'd let her go peacefully."

Remus nodded, letting the tears roll down his cheeks.

"Remus?" Danny asked softly after a moment. "Listen, just because that's what _I_ would do – You have to do what Laura would want, not what the rest of us do."

"What Laura would want," Remus repeated softly. He fell silent for a moment, then cleared his throat. "What would I have to do?"

"We'd give you some papers to sign."

"That's all? I'd just have to sign?"

"Yes. The doctors and nurses would take care of the rest."

"Of letting her die."

"Yes."

They lapsed into silence again, the machines making the only sounds in the room. Danny finally glanced at Remus's face.

"Remus, are you all right?"

"I need to talk to everyone," he said at last, his voice hoarse. "I don't want to leave her alone – will you stay with her?"

"Of course I will."

Remus nodded, and stood up. He leaned down to kiss Laura's forehead, then walked silently from the room.

He made his way down the hospital corridor slowly, trying to think of what he was going to say to his family and friends. What words could he use to soften the news? How could he tell them that Laura was lying at the brink of death?

He entered the room where his friends and family were waiting. Laura's parents were standing together; Mr. Bond had his hands on his wife's shoulders. Her brothers and sisters were scattered around the waiting room in various positions. Only Hannah sat by herself, curled up on a chair. Remus's parents were sitting together, clutching one another's hands. Their friends were in one section together. The girls' faces were streaked with tears; James's, Sirius's and Peter's eyes held hollow, shocked expressions. Remus drew a deep breath, and pushed the door open.

"Oh, Remus!" Mrs. Bond exclaimed as soon as she saw him, moving toward him. "How is she? How's my Laura?"

"She's – she's not breathing on her own," was all he managed before his face crumpled and the tears began again.

Mr. Lupin was there in an instant, pulling him close. Locked in the arms of his father, Remus let the sobs shake his body for a moment. He took gulping breaths to compose himself, then drew back from his father and continued his description of Laura's condition in a shaky voice.

"She had a massive heart attack," Remus said. "From what I understand, her heart wasn't beating and she wasn't breathing for awhile before – before they restarted her heart."

"So her heart is beating?" George, Laura's older brother, asked.

"Yes," Remus said. "But all the time that she was without oxygen hurt her. She can't breathe without machines to do it for her, and her brain is permanently damaged."

"What does all that mean, Remus?" Hannah asked.

"It means that _Laura_ is gone," Remus said softly. "They're keeping her body alive with machines, but . . . they want me to turn off the machines."

Mrs. Bond began sobbing, turning her face into her husband's shoulder. Mr. Bond held her close, and looked at Remus.

"What are you going to do?" he asked his son-in-law.

Remus looked away from all of them for a moment. "I have to do what Laura would want," he said at last. "And I don't think that Laura would want to live hooked up to some machines, unable to ever leave her bed. That's not Laura. Laura was always active, always moving . . . she hated to be still. This isn't the life that she would want. And me wanting her to be alive isn't going to help her. She's never coming back to me – not the way she was before."

"So you're saying . . .?" Mrs. Lupin asked.

Remus nodded, tears beginning to fall again. "I'm going to sign the papers. I'm going to turn off the machines. I'm going to let Laura go."

"Can we – can we say goodbye first?" Cassie, another of Laura's sisters, asked.

Remus nodded. "Yeah. Let me show you where she is."

Remus led the way to Laura's room with his family and friends trailing behind him. He stopped in front of her door, and turned to look at the group of people who loved Laura as much as he did.

"Maybe this would be best if everyone went in one at a time," he said slowly. "That way we can all have a chance to say a private goodbye before . . ."

"I'll go first," Christina, Laura's oldest sister, volunteered. She grabbed her husband's hand. "Joe . . ."

He nodded, lacing his fingers through hers. "Let's go."

They disappeared into Laura's room. Almost immediately, Danny came out.

"Remus?" he asked.

Remus nodded. "Bring me the papers. I'll sign them."

Danny pulled Remus into a tight embrace. "You're one of the strongest men I've ever met," he said softly. "I can't believe it's come to this." He released Remus and looked at him with teary eyes. "I truly thought that Laura could beat this," he said. "I've been praying for her ever since the first day that I met you."

"I thought she could, too," Remus sighed. "I wish things could have been different."

"So do I," Danny said, wiping his hand across his eyes. He cleared his throat, and blinked rapidly. "I'll go get the paperwork."

While Danny walked away, Remus made his way across the hall and sank down into a chair. Lily looked at him for a moment, then detached herself from James, crossing to sit with him. She reached out to take his hand without saying a word.

Remus looked at her, too emotionally drained to even smile. He held her hand tightly, thankful for the strength she offered. They sat together in silence as one person after the other went into the room to say goodbye to Laura. Finally, her parents entered the room. They were with her for what felt like an eternity to Remus. He knew that when they came out, he would have to go in. He looked at Lily, who had not left his side since she had sat down with him.

"Did you get a chance to say goodbye?" he asked.

"She knows," she said softly. "She knows that I love her. I don't need to tell her."

Remus wiped a tear off his cheek. "When it's my turn, will you come in with me?"

"If you want me to."

"Please."

Lily nodded and tightened her grip on his hand. "I'll do anything for you, Remus. Just say the word."

He nodded, returning the pressure on her hand. "Thank you."

Laura's parents came out of her room, both sobbing. They leaned on one another for support as they made their way to the chairs outside her door. Remus took a shaky breath.

"Lily . . ."

She nodded. "When you're ready, I'll come with you."

Remus sat completely still for a moment, then stood up, pulling Lily with him. Clinging to her hand, he went into Laura's room. They paused in the doorway, looking at Laura's motionless body. Lily, who was seeing her for the first time, choked back a sob. She couldn't believe that her vibrant friend who had always been so full of life was reduced to this still, frail shell of her former self.

Remus began moving again, pulling Lily across the room. He collapsed into the chair at her bedside, dropping Lily's hand. Lily moved back a step, wanting to give Remus some measure of privacy with his wife.

Tears filled his eyes, and began to fall down his cheeks in slow streams. He took Laura's hand in both of his, and brought it to his lips to kiss it.

"I love you," he said softly. "I love you so much. I know you made me promise to move on with my life and to love again, but, Laura, I have to be honest with you. I don't think I could ever love another woman as much as I love you. You have been the best part of my life since our first date in Hogsmeade in fifth year. Without you, I . . ." He stopped as the tears began to fall faster, rendering him incapable of speech. He bowed his head over her body again, clutching her hand.

Lily watched from a slight distance, her hands covering her face, trying desperately to contain the sobs that wanted to shake her body to its core. She had never seen such grief. It was a shock when a loved one was killed by Voldemort, but at least then there was a culprit. There was a doorstep on which to lay blame. But, this . . . Remus had no enemies, save Laura's own body. They had been defeated by a nameless villain who could not be stopped or destroyed. The horror of this situation was greater and the sorrow deeper than any Lily had ever known.

They stayed with Laura in silence until the door opened. Dr. Hayward and Danny came in together, carrying a clipboard and a pen. Lily gave a ragged gasp as she realized what was about to happen. Remus looked up at them with dead eyes.

"Is this what I need to sign?" he asked dully.

"Yes," Dr. Hayward said. He cleared his throat. "Remus, I –"

"Don't," Remus interrupted. "I know. I wish things could have been different, too, but there's nothing we can do to change it. The least I can do is to let her go in peace." He looked down at his wife again. "She would have hated this. I can't keep her this way knowing that."

The doctor nodded, and handed him the clipboard. "We need your signature in three places. They're all marked with an x."

Remus nodded, and signed the forms without reading them. He gave the clipboard back to the doctor, who nodded again.

"I'll just get a nurse, and we'll take care of everything."

While the doctor left the room, Danny crossed to Lily. He pulled her close, holding her tightly for a moment.

"Are you all right?"

"No," she said softly. "But Remus is the one we need to worry about, not me."

Danny nodded, and looked back to Remus, who was clinging to Laura's hand again. "Remus?" he asked gently.

"Yes?"

Danny cleared his throat. "You have every right to refuse this; you're Laura's husband, and if you want to be alone with her, that's fine . . ."

"Refuse what?"

"I think that her parents would like to be with her when they turn off the machines."

Remus never raised his eyes from Laura's body as he answered. "Her family is the most important thing to her. She would want them here. They can all come in."

"Her brothers and sisters, too?"

"Yes. And our friends. Everyone."

Danny nodded. "I'll go tell them."

The group who had been waiting outside came in with Danny, followed by Dr. Hayward and a nurse. James crossed to Lily, and took her hand. She looked up at him with a tear- and misery-streaked face, and leaned up against him. He kissed her temple, drawing her close to his side.

The doctor and nurse went to Laura's bedside together, and began flipping switches and adjusting monitors.

"Her heart monitor will continue to measure her heart beat after I turn off her ventilator," the doctor said quietly. "When it flat lines, we'll know that she's gone."

Remus nodded, and took his eyes from Laura's face to the monitor. Sirius, who had not taken his eyes from Remus's face since he entered the room, ran his hands over his own face. When he removed them, his eyes were full of tears.

Dr. Hayward turned the final switch, shutting off the ventilator. It ended its service with an expulsion of air.

Remus leaned down and kissed Laura's lips. "Goodbye, my darling. I will always love you," he whispered, his tears splashing onto her face.

Unable to face what was happening, Sirius left the room.

The heart monitor's jagged lines flattened into one continuous stripe. Its staccato beeping changed to a long, clear note. Laura's soul had been released from her body.


	49. Searching for Comfort

A/N: Wow! The response to the last chapter was amazing! Thank you all so much for the reviews! I know that was a hard chapter to read – it was incredibly difficult to write. I absolutely adored Laura, and it was horrible to have to let her die, but it had to happen. If Remus were married in canon, I'm sure we'd know it by now . . . I also think that his soulful personality comes from more than just being a werewolf. I really didn't like the idea of Laura dying at the hands of Voldemort or Death Eaters . . . hence her heartbreaking end. Thank you all again for reading and reviewing that chapter – I appreciate your support so much!

And now some answers / responses . . .

**Panther28:** Laura had three sisters and three brothers. Her oldest brother and sister were both married, and she had two nieces and three nephews.

**Patsfan1254:** Keep going with your storyline! Just let me know where you post – I'd love to read it!

**ForbiddenSoul:** As of my current plans, Dana is going to remain a single mom. I'm sorry, but I can't let you know what I'm planning for Olivia – that's going a bit far into the "sneak peeks!" Remus didn't read the forms before he signed them because he was too distraught. He's very thorough and normally wouldn't consider signing something without reading it first . . . he was just really screwed up at that point. It had nothing to do with doctors!

**Rotae:** You, my friend, ROCK! I'm so excited that you saw what I was trying to do with Remus and Lily! It sort of bothered me that in the movie that Remus appeared to be in love with his best friend's wife, so I twisted it around to fit into my story. Lily's support for Remus will continue through this chapter, and will come up again in the future.

**hp-lover-1-lol:** They'll notify Dana in this chapter – read on!

**Magena2602:** Thank you so much for the offer! That would be great if you'd "advertise" for me. I'm so glad you like my stories that much!

Thanks to everyone again for reading and reviewing!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Searching for Comfort

Sirius practically ran out of Laura's hospital room. He didn't know if anyone had seen him leave, and didn't care if anyone had tried to stop him. He stumbled down the long, brightly lit corridors, searching for something without knowing what it was. He only knew that he had to get away from the pain, the sorrow, the unimaginable grief of watching Remus bid his wife a final farewell. He couldn't yet comprehend the fact that Laura was one of his closest friends, and that he was being forced to give her up. His only thoughts were of Remus, and of the unspeakable pain that Remus was facing as his wife faded from his life.

As he staggered through the corridors, Sirius found himself in front of the hospital chapel. He paused, realizing what he was searching for. He needed a miracle, and this seemed the most likely place to find it. He opened the door, and slipped inside.

He made his way to the first pew, and knelt down on the hard floor. He looked up at the candle-lit crucifix, and let the tears fill his eyes as he crossed himself.

"God, you know why I'm here," he whispered. "I've been running around this hospital trying to find a way to save Laura, but you're the only one who can do that." He drew a deep breath. "We need a miracle, God. That's the only way that Remus will be able to keep Laura with him. He's suffered so much in his life. Please don't make him suffer any more. Save his wife. Let them live together for the next hundred years and have ten children. Please save Laura. Remus should get to keep her with him. He doesn't deserve this. I don't – God, I just don't know how Remus will make it without her. Please, let Remus and Laura have their miracle."

He fell silent, but remained kneeling with his head bowed. Sometimes, the truest, most honest prayers were prayed without words.

* * *

Olivia could barely believe that it was real. She watched as Remus fell forward onto Laura's lifeless body, as his parents pulled him away from his wife and into their arms, as Lily buried her face in James's shoulder and his tears dropped into her hair, and as Laura's mother sank to her knees, sobbing hysterically. How could they have come to this? How could this have happened to Remus? Hadn't he suffered enough?

As Matt leaned down to kiss Laura's forehead, Olivia choked back a sob. She thought of her own brother, and the horrors that Laura's siblings were facing. If things were different . . . if that were her, saying goodbye to John . . . She couldn't stand by and watch this anymore. She had to get out.

As she made her way to the door, Peter stopped her with a hand on her arm. She looked at him with tear-filled eyes.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"No," she whispered.

Without a word, Peter pulled her close. She clung to him for a moment, trying to bring her emotions under control. She finally pulled back, wiping her eyes.

"I'm going to send a message to Dana," she said softly. "She needs to know about this."

Peter nodded, and ran his hands over his face. "I wish we didn't have to give her news like this."

"I know," Olivia whispered. "Don't let everyone leave without me, okay?"

Peter nodded. "I have a feeling we're going to be here for awhile."

Olivia nodded and left the room without another word. She paused in the hall, leaning up against the closed door. She exhaled slowly, trying to collect herself.

"Message to Dana," she murmured. "How on earth am I going to find an owl in a Muggle hospital?" She ran her hands over her face, rubbing her eyes. "I can't deal with this right now. I'll let her know later."

Taking a deep breath, she pushed off the door. She started wandering down the hall, unsure of where she was going or what she was looking for.

* * *

Olivia's exit from Laura's room made it all right for everyone else to leave. Laura's siblings were the first to go, unable to stay in the room a moment longer. They didn't go far; they made their way to the waiting room, where they collapsed into one another's arms, still trying to stop the tears that had no end. Laura's mother flat-out refused to leave her daughter's side until she became too dizzy to stand; her husband summoned a doctor, who took her out of the room to examine her.

James looked at Lily, who was still pressed up against him. "Do you want to go outside? Get something to drink?"

"No," she said softly. "We can't leave Remus, James."

James looked at Remus, who was trying to convince his parents to leave him alone with Laura. "I think he wants to be on his own right now."

Lily shook her head. "I promised him that I'd stay with him. You can go if you want, James, but I'm staying."

Peter crossed to join them. "Should we give Remus some space, guys?"

"I think so, but Lily wants to stay with him," James replied.

Peter looked at her with sorrowful eyes. "I think he needs some time on his own right now, Lils."

"How can you know . . ." Lily trailed off as she realized what she was going to ask. "Oh, God, Peter, I'm sorry," she whispered, clamping her hands over her mouth.

"It's all right," he assured her, his eyes bright. "I just – I know what he's going through, and I think that some time alone is what he needs. He needs the space to process what's happened."

"You guys go," she said as they watched Remus's parents leave the room. "I just want to talk to Remus for a moment. I'll be out as soon as I've spoken to him."

James and Peter exchanged a look. At long last, they both nodded slightly.

"We'll wait for you outside." James kissed her gently. "Be careful, love."

"I will."

James and Peter left the room, and Lily moved slowly toward Remus. He was still seated next to Laura's bed, clutching her hand in his. Lily gently put her hand on his shoulder.

"Why didn't you go with James and Peter?" Remus asked dully.

"Because I wanted to be with you," Lily said softly. "I promised I'd stay with you as long as you wanted, Remus. If you want me to go, I'll go."

Remus was silent for so long that Lily was sure he hadn't heard her. She was about to repeat her statement when he spoke just above a whisper.

"Stay."

Lily leaned down to put her arms around Remus from behind. She hugged him to her, and kissed his head. "I'll stay," she promised.

Remus leaned up against her, breathing deeply. "I can't cry, Lily," he whispered. "I mean, I've been crying for so long . . . ever since we got here . . . but to really, truly cry . . . Lily, if I start, I don't know if I'll be able to stop."

"You don't have to be strong for me, Remus," Lily said as a single tear made its way down her cheek. "Just cry. I'll be here with you. I'll stay with you as long as you need me to. You just – Remus, you need to cry. You can't keep it all inside. No one else is here. There's no one for you to put up a calm, strong front for now." She kissed the top of his head again. "You can't change your emotions, Remus, and after what's happened, no one can fault you for them. Just . . . just _feel_."

Remus's lips trembled as he listened to her speak. When she stopped, he took a deep breath, then leaned back against her, letting the sobs shake his body. Lily held him tight against her, crying along with him.

* * *

Olivia rushed down the halls of the hospital without direction. Her feet pounded against the linoleum floors as she practically ran away from Laura's room, struggling to escape what had happened. She didn't know where she was going, only that she needed desperately to be able to breathe again. She felt as through she was smothering under all that she had seen.

Her steps slowed as she approached the hospital chapel. For some reason, she couldn't run past a holy room; it seemed wrong. As she slowed down, she could see the candles flickering in the dim room. Overwhelmed by the desire to light a candle for Laura, she opened the door and slipped inside.

She walked up the side of the room, to the front where the candles were burning. She picked up a long matchstick, and lit it with one of the flickering flames. She carefully carried the fire to another, unlit candle, and touched the match against its wick.

"I know you're in heaven now, Laura. You're – you were such a good person, there's no where else for you to be," she whispered. "Please watch over Remus. He's really going need you now that you aren't with him anymore."

She put the match down, and wiped at the tears that had begun to fall. She quickly realized how pointless that mission was; her tears began to fall faster, and she choked back a sob.

Hands reached around from behind her, resting on her shoulders. She gasped, and jumped at the unexpected contact.

"You're all right," Sirius whispered as he turned her to face him.

"Sirius," Olivia whispered as she looked up into his face. "What are you doing here?"

He smiled sadly. "Praying for Remus and Laura," he replied. "Is . . . How is she?"

"Gone," Olivia whispered.

Then the sobs did begin in earnest, shaking her body. Sirius pulled her close, crushing her against him as he began to cry.

"How could this have happened, Sirius?" Olivia sobbed. "How is it possible?"

"I don't know," Sirius murmured. He kissed her hair. "We're going to be okay, Liv. It's going to be okay."

"Laura is _gone_, Sirius," Olivia exclaimed, looking up at him. "How is anyone ever going to be okay again?"

Sirius looked down into her tear-streaked face for a moment, then kissed her. Olivia drew her breath in sharply, then responded to his kiss, reaching her hands up around his neck to play with his hair. How could she have forgotten what it was like to be in his arms like this? How could she have ever thought that she could live the rest of her life without this? It felt so perfect, so right . . . Time seemed to stand still as they kissed, rediscovering feelings they both had tried so hard to deny and bury. When Sirius pulled her even closer to deepen their kiss, Olivia pressed herself up against him. Correctly interpreting this movement as approval of his advances, he moved his hand around to the buttons of her blouse.

Olivia pulled back. "Sirius, wait."

Sirius slid his hand down to her hip. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "I was out of line."

"No," she whispered. "No, it's just . . ."

"I know," he said, taking his hands off her body and stepping back. "We're not together anymore. I can't kiss you or touch you like that anymore."

"No, Sirius, please just listen . . ."

Sirius ran his hands over his face and pushed back his hair. "I'm going to go see how Remus is."

Olivia watched as he started to walk away. How could she let him leave now? He had left so many times before because she had asked him to. But now . . . This time, she didn't want him to leave. But how could she gather the strength to call out to him?

"I just didn't think we should shag in a hospital chapel less than an hour after one of our best friends died," she blurted out.

She clapped her hand to her mouth in horror as Sirius turned around in disbelief. He started to walk slowly back to her.

"What did you just say?"

"You heard me," Olivia said, lifting her chin defiantly, her hand now down at her side.

Sirius remained silent until he was standing directly in front of her, close enough to reach out and touch her face if he wanted to do so. "Are you saying you would agree to shag me if I asked?"

"Yes," she whispered so softly he barely heard it.

Sirius smiled, a true, genuine smile, and tipped her chin up so that he could look into her eyes. "Are you saying that – that we might have another chance?"

Olivia sighed. "We have a lot to talk through, Sirius. And I don't really think that now is the time . . . I mean, we're both emotional wrecks right now."

Sirius nodded. "We're not going to mean anything we say right now . . . But can we talk later?"

"After a kiss like that, I think we have to."

Sirius smiled sadly. "Well, I guess James was right."

"About what?"

"He's the one who said that shagging is the only way I know how to deal with tragedy."

Olivia laughed through her tears. "Look, I know we're in a really weird place right now, but would you stay with me for awhile?"

"Sure."

Her eyes widened. "Actually, I could use your help."

"I'll do anything. What do you need?"

"I need to let Dana know what's happened to Laura. I told Peter that I would do it."

"All right," Sirius replied, taking her hand and steering her out of the chapel. "Let's go find an owl."

* * *

"Should we make sure that they're all right?" James asked after he and Peter had been waiting for Lily for nearly twenty minutes.

Peter crossed to look in the window. Tears filled his eyes as he looked at Remus sobbing in Lily's arms. "I think they're all right," he said quietly.

James stepped forward, and looked at the sight of his wife comforting his best friend. Remus's shoulders shook as cried; Lily held him close, stroking his hair. "Remus . . . Peter, how is he going to get through this? If something happened to Lily . . ."

"You'd deal with it," Peter said. "We have an amazing ability to overcome grief, James. Believe me, it's not easy, but it can be done."

"How . . ." James paused and swallowed. "How did you do it, Peter? How did you get over losing Kathleen?"

Peter looked away from James, turning his head to gaze back through the window at Remus and Lily. "I was lucky," he said at last. "I had some fantastic friends who were willing to be there for me." He sighed. "But it changes you, James. Remus will never be the same again. No one can live through something like this without becoming a different person in the end."

"I don't think you're that much different, Peter."

Peter looked at him with such a sad smile that James knew that his words cost him dearly. "You have no idea, James," he said quietly. "I've changed more than anyone knows."

James was about to respond when Mrs. Lupin came down the hall. Her eyes were red and puffy, but she looked rather calm, all things considered.

"Is Remus still in there with . . . with Laura?" she asked, her voice raspy from so much time spent crying.

"Yes," James said.

She nodded. "I need to speak with him. The minister is here, and he needs to start . . . making arrangements." She started toward the door.

"Mrs. Lupin, wait," James said, putting his hand on her arm to stop her. "Lily's with him now. I think they wanted to be alone. Right now, I think Lily's pretty much the only one who can get through to him."

She nodded slowly, and wiped the new tears from her eyes. "My poor Remus," she murmured. "He's suffered so much . . . he doesn't deserve this."

"No one does," Peter said softly.

Mrs. Lupin looked at him for a moment, then pulled him close. "You're all such good friends to Remus," she said. She released Peter, and took his hand and James's in hers. "He's lucky to have you. He knows that, you know. He's always talked about how much you boys have helped him."

"We'll always be there for him," James said. He looked at Peter, and smiled slightly. "We stick together, right, Peter?"

"Right," Peter said, his smile a bit uncomfortable. He had sworn undying loyalty to his friends. How could he go back on that promise now?

He knew how he could do it. It was because what he had told James was true. Not only had Kathleen's death changed him, but all the circumstances he had faced since then had left an undeniable mark on his life. He was not the same little boy who had sworn to stand by his friends, just as they were no longer the children who had made the same vow to him. They had all changed since then, forever altered by all that they had seen and done, by the harsh world that was now theirs. James could live in the past if that was what he wanted, but Peter was willing to change his life with the changes that took place around them. Nothing can ever stay the same.

He still loved his friends. He hated to see them in pain. Watching Remus lose Laura was one of the hardest things he had ever done. And yet . . . he could not deny the changes in their world, the power shift that was taking place. Times were changing, and he was changing with them.

* * *

_Dear Dana,_

_I hate to be the one who has to tell you about this, but you need to know. Laura suffered a massive heart attack last night. Remus got her to the hospital, but her doctors couldn't save her. I don't really understand all the Muggle medicine that went into it, but in the end, Remus decided to let her go in peace. _

_What I'm trying to tell you is that Laura has died. _

_We don't have details about a funeral or anything yet – this only happened about an hour ago. Remus, of course, is a mess. I guess the rest of us are, too. I'm so sorry to have to tell you this, Dana. I wish I was writing with good news. _

_I'll send you the funeral information as soon as I have it. I'm sure you'll want to come home for that if you can. I'll be in touch. _

_Love, _

_Olivia_

Olivia read the letter through for a second time, struggling to hold back her tears. Sirius gently took the parchment from her hands.

"Have you said all that you want to say?"

"I think so."

He nodded, and attached it to the leg of the owl they had gone to Diagon Alley to find. They both watched as the owl took flight, carrying the tragic news to Dana in her new French home. Sirius put his arm around Olivia's shoulders, drawing her close.

"Do you want to go back to the hospital now?"

"Yes," she replied. "We should be there for Remus."

Sirius nodded. "Let's go, then."

With two pops, they Disapparated.

* * *

Remus finally managed to stop crying, and pulled away from Lily slightly. She bent her head to look at him.

"Are you all right?" she asked softly.

He shook his head. "I'm never going to be all right again."

Lily sighed, and stepped around to sit down next to him. She reached out to take his hands in hers. "You know that we're all here for you, don't you? Not just me, but James, Sirius, Peter, Olivia, your family . . . You're not alone, Remus."

He turned to face her, his lips quivering again. "I know that on some level, but, Lily, I've never felt so alone in my life."

Lily leaned over to hug him again. "I'm here right now," she whispered. "You're not alone. I'll never leave you alone."

Remus pulled back from her embrace to look into her eyes. "You are one of the best friends I've ever had, Lils. Thank you so much for everything."

She brushed his hair back from his face. "You're welcome."

Remus turned from her and looked back at Laura. "You know, she was fine yesterday."

"Fine?"

"Yes. Not just fine for her, but _fine_. She was up before me yesterday morning. We went out for dinner, then we walked around Hogsmeade, and when we got home . . ." He trailed off, a slight smile playing around his lips. "We had a wonderful day together. I'm never going to forget that, ever. It's almost as if her body knew what was going to happen, so it wanted to give us one last beautiful memory. She gave me the greatest gift yesterday. She gave me a memory of her the way she always was – vibrant, full of life and laughter. When I think back on our last day together, that's what I'll be able to remember. I won't have to think of her suffering. I won't have to remember her last days spent wasting away in a hospital bed, going in and out of consciousness. I won't have to, Lils, because it didn't happen." He raised Laura's hand to his lips, and kissed her fingers. "I thank God that it didn't happen that way. If this had to happen – if I had to let Laura go – then I'm glad she was able to die like this."

Lily wiped tears from her eyes, and swallowed hard before she could speak. "I'm glad, too. I'm so glad that you'll have that memory to take with you forever."

Remus was silent for a moment, then spoke softly. "I'm never going to be able to love another woman, Lily."

"No one said you have to."

"Laura made me promise . . ." he trailed off into uncertain silence.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"No, I want to." He drew a deep breath. "On Christmas, she was really exhausted from chasing her nieces and nephews around all day. I think she must have just felt awful. We started talking, and I don't even remember where it came from, but she made me promise that if anything happened to her, I would move on. She said she didn't want me to die with her. She wanted me to live my life."

"And you promised to do that?"

"I promised."

"Yeah, but, Remus, that doesn't mean that you have to fall in love again."

He shook his head. "I couldn't anyway. It's not possible." He gave her the saddest smile she had ever seen. "Laura was it for me, Lils. She was the most amazing person I've ever known. I could never love anyone the way I love her."

Lily was saved from responding by the door scraping across the floor as it opened. Both she and Remus looked up to see the Lupins entering the room.

"Lily, could we have a moment with Remus?" Mrs. Lupin asked gently.

Lily looked at Remus, who nodded.

"Go ahead," he said. "I'll be fine."

"I won't go far," Lily promised. "If you need me, come and find me."

"I will," Remus said. He leaned forward, and kissed her cheek. "Thank you," he whispered.

Lily kissed his cheek in return. "You're welcome."

She stepped out of the room to find James sitting alone in the hallway. He was perched on a plastic chair, his elbows resting on his knees and his head in his hands. She put her hand on his shoulder, and he almost jumped as he twisted to look at her.

"Hey," he said, springing out of his chair. "How are you?"

"Okay," she said softly.

James looked at her for a moment, then pulled her close. He held her for a moment, sensing her need for comfort. She crumpled against him, letting tears run slowly down her cheeks.

"That was the hardest thing I've ever had to do," she whispered.

"You were brilliant," James said, kissing the top of her head.

"How do you know? You weren't there."

"No, but I know Remus. If you hadn't been helping him, he would have tossed you out of there like he did everyone else."

Lily sniffled, trying to stop her tears. "Are his parents all right?"

"I don't think that anyone's really 'all right' at this point."

She nodded. "James, can we please get away from this spot for a little bit? I promised Remus that I wouldn't go far, but I can't stand to be here right now."

"Yeah," James replied. "Let's go outside for a bit. The hospital has a courtyard around here somewhere."

They managed to find the courtyard, and stepped outside into the bright sunshine. Lily turned her face up to the sun, noting that its rays couldn't warm the cold day. She looked at James, who was staring straight ahead, his eyes unable to hide the sorrow that he felt.

"I can't believe it's sunny," she said, reaching down to take his hand.

James looked down at her. "Why?"

She sighed. "It makes the world look happy," she said softly. "Shouldn't it be a gray, awful day? Shouldn't nature be mourning Laura right along with us?"

James was silent for several moments as he thought about what she had said. "Maybe it's a sign," he said at last, looking straight ahead again.

"A sign?"

"Yes, a sign." He paused and swallowed. "Laura was sick for a really long time, Lil. Now . . . well, now she's not sick anymore. She's beyond the doctors, the pills and the pain. She never has to think about seeing people look at her with worry and fear in their eyes. She never has to have another blood test. She never has to worry about what might happen, because it has happened." He squeezed Lily's hand, and looked down at her. "Maybe it's a sign of the happiness that Laura feels, now that she's free from all the pain that she's had to endure since she got sick."

Tears slid down Lily's cheeks in silent streams. "I never thought of all that."

James nodded. "I know that Laura is in heaven, Lil. And I know that she's happy there. It's where she belongs now. She's not ours anymore."

Lily turned her face into his shoulder, and he pulled her close, kissing the top of her head. He had meant his words, and knew that they would probably bring Lily some comfort. He had a feeling, though, that Remus wouldn't be thinking along the same lines – not yet, anyway. He needed time to come to terms with what had happened, but maybe someday he'd realize that Laura was finally free from her pain.

* * *

Night had fallen before they left the hospital. Remus had a terrible time with the idea of leaving his wife's body alone, but in the end was convinced to go home with his parents. No one wanted him going back to the house he and Laura had shared so soon.

Sirius and Olivia waited until everyone else had left before they took their leave. They once again made their way to the post office in Diagon Alley, where they sent Dana another letter. This one contained the details of Laura's funeral, which Remus and her parents had arranged at some point during the day.

"Sirius, will you do something for me?" Olivia asked as they stepped out of the post office, into the cold night.

"Sure," he replied. "What would you like me to do?"

She bit her lip nervously. "Will you come home with me?"

His eyebrows shot up. "Come home with you?"

"Yes," she said softly. "I know we haven't established anything and we haven't talked about – well, anything, but I can't stand the idea of being alone right now. Will you please stay with me for a bit?"

Sirius nodded, taking her hand in his. "I'll stay as long as you'd like."

She exhaled, and smiled up at him. "Thank you."

They walked back to her flat together. Olivia unlocked and opened the door, and they went inside.

"Are you hungry?" she asked as she tossed her wand onto the coffee table.

"No," Sirius replied honestly.

"Sirius, you've been with me all day, and I know you haven't eaten anything."

"Are _you_ hungry?" he countered.

"No," she said softly. She bit her lip again. "I guess things like this sort of take away your appetite, don't they?"

"Yeah," Sirius replied, "they do."

"We can have breakfast tomorrow," she said.

"Right."

Olivia looked at him, barely knowing what to think. She hadn't felt this nervous and uncomfortable around Sirius in years. Even their first date and their first mission together as Aurors hadn't been this bad.

"Liv, are you sure you want me to be here?" Sirius finally asked. "This clearly isn't the most comfortable arrangement we've ever had."

"I just – I just don't want to be alone," she said softly.

Sirius nodded, and took her hand, leading her to the couch. "Let's just sit together. We don't have to talk."

Olivia nodded as they sat down together. Barely realizing what she was doing, she curled up against him. Sirius put his arms around her, pulling her close, making her feel safe.

They sat like that in silence until they fell asleep on the couch with their arms wrapped around one another.

* * *

The day of Laura's funeral was again bright and sunny, although a frigid wind made it far too cold to spend much time outside. Remus, getting dressed in his childhood room in his parents' house, thought that the sorrowful whine of the wind was appropriate. It echoed the desolate feeling in his heart.

"Remus?" His mother knocked softly on his door as she called his name. "Are you ready, darling? We need to leave soon, or we'll be late."

"I'm nearly ready, Mum," Remus replied. He straightened his tie, and brushed at his hair, then took a deep breath to steel himself for what would happen when he left the house.

He walked downstairs slowly, wishing that he could put this moment off forever. He hated what was about to happen. He knew that Laura was gone, that she would never be his again, but the idea of putting her into the ground . . .

"Remus," Mr. Lupin said as he reached the bottom step. "Are you ready, then?"

"Yes," Remus said shortly. "Where's Mum?"

"Right here," Mrs. Lupin said as she came in carrying her purse. She put her wand safely inside, then brushed at Remus's shoulders. "Are you ready, sweetheart?"

Remus shrugged. "As ready as I'll ever be, I suppose."

"Well, that's something. Come on, then, let's go."

The three Lupins Disapparated with three distinct pops.

* * *

The church quickly filled as Laura's friends and family gathered to bid her a final farewell. Remus greeted each person who came in, despite the fact that he only knew about half of them. Laura's extended family, her friends from her life before Hogwarts, her old teachers from primary school . . . Remus would never remember their names, but he was thankful for their support nonetheless.

He was even more thankful for the support of his own family and friends. His parents never left his side, and his friends were always nearby. They spoke quietly to one another, and to the others who approached them. Quite a few Order members had come as well, all dressed as Muggles. Their faces were as ashen as anyone's. None of them had ever imagined such an ending for Laura.

The funeral was about to start when the church doors opened yet again. Olivia, who was standing near them, turned to see who the newcomer was. She stifled a cry as she recognized Dana.

"Liv," Dana breathed. She pulled Olivia close, clinging to her for a moment. "Where's Remus?"

"Up there . . . I can't believe you made it, Dana!"

"How could I not? I started making arrangements as soon as I got your first message."

Olivia looked into her friend's face, trying to see if her move to France had changed her. She still looked the same, but a new sorrow smoldered in the back of her eyes. Dana ran her hands over her rounded stomach, then touched Olivia's cheek.

"I need to see Remus."

"Of course."

Dana kissed Olivia's cheek, then made her way to the front of the church, where Remus was still surrounded by friends and family. Feeling her eyes on him, he looked up from his conversation with Laura's great-uncle.

"Dana," he murmured.

"Remus," she said, opening her arms.

Remus excused himself from the conversation with the older man, and crossed to Dana. They met in an embrace, clinging to one another as they both fought back tears.

"Thank you so much for coming," Remus whispered.

"Remus, you're all I've thought of since I got that owl from Olivia," she said. She pulled back to look into his eyes. "I wish there was some way I could make this easier for you."

"You have," he assured her. "Just knowing that you're here has made it easier."

"I know it probably doesn't help, but I do know what you're going through."

"I know you do," he said. "And it _does_ help."

She smiled, and kissed his cheek. "I know that the ceremony is starting soon, but we'll talk later, okay?"

"I'd like that," Remus said. He hugged her again. "Thank you so much, Dana. I'm so glad you're here."

They all took seats as the minister stepped up to begin the ceremony. His eyes reflected the sadness they all felt as he cleared his throat.

The funeral, which Remus and the Bonds had organized as a celebration of Laura's life, included several biblical passages, which were read aloud by Laura's nieces and nephews. Her brothers and sisters then shared stories from their childhood that best demonstrated Laura's character. Through it all, Remus sat up straight, looking straight at the speaker. He swallowed hard and blinked repeatedly, trying to hold back the tears that wanted to begin again. But here, in front of so many people that he and Laura both loved, he wanted to, as Lily had said, put up a calm, brave façade. He wanted to control his emotions, no matter how briefly.

When the ceremony ended, the families made their way to the cemetery for Laura's burial. The minister spoke words of commitment as the small crowd stood with heads bowed in prayer.

"May she rest in peace forever in Your glory," he said in closing. "In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost."

"Amen."

The minister stepped away so that the waiting crew could get to their job of lowering Laura's casket into the ground. The mourners, too, stepped away; but Remus and his parents remained, standing still as they watched the casket make its way down into the ground. Remembering what Remus had done for her at her parents' funeral, Lily pulled her hand from James's grasp.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"To help Remus," she replied.

She made her way to where Remus stood with his parents. Without a word, she bent down to pick up some of the dirt that would be used to fill in the new grave. She stepped closer to Remus, and pressed the soil into his hand.

He looked down at her for a moment, his eyes thanking her. Then, he stepped forward to crumble the clump of dirt over Laura's casket.

He drew his breath in sharply, finally knowing the truth. Laura, his sweet, gentle, kind Laura, had left him. Their perfect dream had ended.


	50. Friendship

A/N: This chapter had so much more it was supposed to include, but I decided to break it in half. I hope you like it!

Review responses …

**LogicalRaven: **This chapter and the next one are dedicated to you – I think there's a lot you've been waiting for forever in them!

**Black Emerald Dawn:** Okay, I promise I'll lift the fog of sorrow soon! Sirius and Olivia . . . there's a couple with some issues! They're working on it, though . . .

**Elephant Wings:** Dana had to arrange things with her job to get time off. Unfortunately, she couldn't just pick up and leave for a week without sorting stuff out. That's the worst part about being separated from family and friends – the distance can be a problem. That's also the reason she doesn't come to visit a lot. She's working on a building her new life, so she has to be in France. If she was in the UK every other day, there wouldn't have been a point in her moving away. She doesn't want to escape the memories of Aidan, just the danger associated with living in the UK. That doesn't really have anything to do with her friends. Right now, her focus is on creating a new life as quickly as possible.

**Camilinah: **Sorry, I have no plans to write about Harry while he's at Hogwarts. I can't compete with JKR! But I am thinking of something post-Hogwarts . . . But it'll be awhile before I get to that.

**Panther28:** Let's see … this is chapter 50, and I have to go to 63. So, about 12 more. My plan is to have it done before book 6 is published. Keep your fingers crossed!

Okay, everyone, enjoy! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Friendship

Dana remained with them for a week, the entire time she had been able to take away from her new job at her local hospital. She moved back into her bedroom at Olivia's flat, but spent most of her time with Remus, trying to help him make sense of all that had happened. Remus was grateful for her efforts, knowing that, along with Peter, she understood what he was feeling better than anyone. He clung to her emotionally, thankful that she was there with him and that she understood.

They had reached the halfway point of their time together. They had attained a level of comfort together that they never shared before Laura's tragic death. She stood in his kitchen, waving her wand to make his favorite dishes for dinner. Remus watched her from his position seated at the table. Despite his parents' protests, he had moved back into the house that he and Laura had shared two days after the funeral. He sighed as he watched Dana work.

"Are you all right?" she asked, using her wand to make the chicken turn itself in the roaster.

"I'm just starting to think that my parents were right," he said.

"About what?"

"About this house . . . me living here . . . I'm not sure this is where I belong anymore."

"But, Remus, where would you go?" Dana frowned. "This is your home."

"It was, once," Remus replied. "I would think you would understand, Dana. You left the _country_ after Aidan died. I'm just thinking of moving to another village."

"Oh, I see what you're trying to say," Dana replied, relief showing on her face.

"What did you think I meant?"

"I don't know – I was just worried that you were going to go off by yourself somewhere and become some sort of hermit."

Remus smiled slightly. "I wasn't planning to completely cut myself off from society. I guess I just need a little break."

Dana turned to face him. "This process of getting back to normal is all about how you best deal with the changes in your life, Remus. You have to decide what will be the best way for you to make yourself whole again. For me, that meant moving away with my mum. I never wanted to be alone. This way, I'll always have her with me, even if I do live in France. And in a few more months, I'll have my little baby, too."

Remus smiled at the mention of the baby. "Have you chosen a name?"

Dana sighed. "Not exactly," she replied. "I think I'm going to honor Aidan's wishes if it's a boy, though – I'm going to call him Liam Aidan."

"I'd forgotten that Aidan wanted Liam for his name."

"I've hated that name since I was a little girl, you know. But Aidan just loved it, and that's what he wanted his son to be named. The least I can do now is to give him that."

Remus's face fell. "I'd give anything to have Laura's baby with me here now."

"Oh, Remus," Dana sighed, crossing to sit down with him. "I know how much you and Laura wanted a baby."

"It just wasn't meant to be," Remus said softly.

"The words are lovely, but do you really mean them?" Dana asked gently, reaching out to touch his hand.

Remus looked away from her for a moment. When he looked back, his eyes were filled with a painful sorrow that exceeded anything Dana had seen in them since her arrival. She sucked in her breath sharply at the raw grief that she saw.

"Dana, I would give anything to have Laura back here with me. _Anything_. But I would give even more to have our child. I understand why Laura was taken from me. Well, not _why_, exactly, but I understand that it's better for her. She was so sick for so long, and in so much pain . . . I know that she's free of that pain now. That's something that I can hold on to. But to not have her child . . ." His voice trailed off, and he laughed mirthlessly. "It's like some sort of cruel joke."

"Oh, Remus," Dana sighed again.

He ran his hands over his face, then continued as if she hadn't spoken. "The universe has a great time mocking me, doesn't it? First I become a werewolf when I was just a little boy, which cast a dark shadow over my entire life. Then, I lose the love of my life twice – first because of my inability to be upfront and honest with her, and then with a shocking finality because her body just fell apart. As a final insult, I can't have the one thing I've always wanted yet, before Laura, never really dared to dream I could have: a child."

"Remus," Dana whispered. "Please, you can't do this to yourself."

"Why not?" he yelled. "Why can't I, Dana? Don't you think that I, of all people, have the right to be angry?"

"You have more right than anyone," she said. "I fully support your anger if that's what you're feeling right now. However, this self-pity . . . Remus, it's just not healthy."

"How would you feel?" he asked, his eyes blazing. "How would you feel if you had lost not only Aidan, but also all hope of ever having his child? Wouldn't it just tear you apart inside? Wouldn't it drive you to this sort of anger?"

"I know that this sounds ridiculous and empty, Remus, but you know that there is a reason for everything."

"Oh, really? And what exactly is the reason for this?"

Dana bit her lip for a moment. "I don't deny that you would be a wonderful father. Any child would be lucky to have a relationship like that with you. But, Remus, I see a couple reasons for why you and Laura didn't have your baby."

"Go ahead, then," he said angrily. "Impart your wisdom."

She drew a deep breath. She knew that he was expecting her to say that a werewolf could never support a baby financially. While laws and prejudices made that true, she knew that reminding Remus of that fact was unnecessary and would probably cause him to explode. She decided to go down the safer route.

"Well, the first reason is the most obvious. If you did have a child, it would grow up like mine – with only half its family. Every day, I wish that things could be different for my baby. He's going to be born into a family that's been shattered by tragedy. I love him so much already, but he's never going to have his father here with him to love him. If you had a child, it would have to spend the rest of its life without Laura – without really knowing its mother's love and care. Can you imagine how much that would hurt?"

Remus blinked. "I never thought of that."

"It's true," Dana said. "I worry about my baby all the time. I don't know what kind of scars he's going to have because his father isn't here for him."

Remus was silent for a moment, considering her words. "You said there are other reasons?" he asked at last.

Dana nodded. "Think of Laura."

"She would have been an incredible mother."

"I know that. But she was sick for so long . . . I know that you two wanted children before you were even married, but think back to when we first started to see that she was ill. If you had been successful, if she had been pregnant . . . Remus, pregnancy isn't easy. It's a tough thing for the body to handle. You know that as well as I do. We learned all about it in class. Imagine if she had been pregnant. Her body, her heart . . . I don't know for sure, but chances are they couldn't have taken the strain. It could have killed her sooner, maybe even before the baby was born. If that had happened, you would have lost your wife and your child all at once. Don't you think that would have been worse than this?"

"I would never have been able to forgive myself," Remus said softly. "I would have felt like I killed them both."

"Exactly!"

He sighed. "All right, I see your point."

"You also have to remember, Remus, that you can give your love – all the love that you would have given your own child – to another child."

"Yours?" he asked with a sad smile. "You live so far away, Dana –"

"Harry," she said, cutting him off.

"Harry . . ." Remus looked off into space, thinking of his friends' son.

"Yes, Harry. You have Harry right here with you all the time. I know that he has James and Lily, but he's a very special little boy. I think he deserves all the love he can get."

"Yes," he said. "Lily and James's son deserves the best of everything."

"Then give him the best of _you_," Dana said urgently. "Love him like you would your own son."

"But he's not mine. He's not even my godson."

"I know that Sirius is his godfather, but do you think that makes you less important in his life? What would James and Lily say?"

"James . . . and Lily . . ." Remus ran his hands over his face again. "Lily has been a wonderful friend to me since this happened."

"Exactly," Dana said. "And she would never do anything to keep you from her son, would she?"

"Not if she had another choice," Remus admitted. "She's been so good to me, Dana."

"You let her," Dana said. "You need your friends now, Remus. Don't shut us out."

Remus nodded. "I won't," he said softly. He tried to smile, but failed. "You're a better friend than I deserve, Dana."

She shook her head. "I'm just doing the same as you would do for me."

"But I didn't. You lost Aidan, and we all just sat back and let you leave."

"That's what I needed you to do," she said softly. "And I'm doing for you what you need _me_ to do." She leaned over to hug him. "I'll always be your friend, Remus. And I'll do my best to be whatever you need me to be."

He kissed her cheek. "Thank you, Dana. Thank you for everything."

* * *

"Prongs?"

James picked up his mirror from the coffee table to see Sirius's face looking at him anxiously. "Hey, Padfoot. What's going on?"

"Can we talk?"

"Of course," James replied. "Can you come over here, though? Lily's out with Minnie for the afternoon, so Harry and I are on our own."

Sirius grinned. "Lily left you alone with the baby?"

"Imagine that," James replied with a sarcastic smile. "So, can you come here?"

"Sure. I'll be there in a minute."

Within moments, Sirius Apparated into the Potters' living room. He looked at James with a smile, and let his eyes wander around the room.

"Where's Harry?"

"Sleeping," James replied. "And, I might add, it took me a long time to get him that way, so don't even _think_ about waking him up to say hi. You can play with him when he's done napping."

"You have no faith in me."

"Yeah, that's why you're his godfather – because Lily and I don't trust you with him."

Sirius grinned for a moment, then his smile faded. "I need to talk to you, James."

"All right," James said, noticing the change in his friend. "Sit down. Do you want a drink?"

"Do you have firewhiskey?"

James laughed. "We don't have anything stronger than butterbeer."

"All right, I'll have one."

James waved his wand. "_Accio butterbeer_!"

Once they were seated in the living room with their butterbeers open, James looked at Sirius critically. He took a sip of his drink, then surveyed his friend again.

"Are you going to talk, or should I start quizzing you?"

"I'll talk," Sirius sighed. "It's about Olivia."

"Olivia?" James said, raising his eyebrows. "Is there something going on between you? I mean, I know you've been trying to get her back for awhile, but she was pretty devoted to Greg . . ." He trailed off, his eyes widening. "She broke up with Greg. But she told Lily that was to protect him . . . She said she was freaked out after what happened to Aidan. She didn't want to put him in danger."

"Yeah, I know," Sirius said, running his hands over his face. "But the fact remains that she's now single again."

"And you want to win her back." It wasn't a question. James knew how much Sirius wanted to rekindle his relationship with Olivia.

"No, James, it's not like that anymore."

"What do you mean?" James frowned.

"Listen . . . You were right."

"About what?"

"Remember when your dad died, and I told you that the first thing I did was shag Rebecca?"

A smile flitted across James's face. "You're a horny bastard, Black. And you have terrible ways of dealing with tragedy." The smile suddenly faded as understand dawned. "Are you saying that you shagged Olivia right after Laura . . .?"

"No!" Sirius said quickly. "But, listen, here's what happened. I was in the chapel, and Olivia came in to light a candle. She was a wreck – she told me that Laura had died . . . I don't know, James. One minute I was hugging her – we were comforting one another, you know? – and the next minute, we're making out."

"You snogged her in the hospital chapel?" James asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, that's pretty much it," Sirius said, his face coloring slightly. "You don't need to make is sound so wrong."

"Tell me exactly how it isn't," James laughed. "You didn't shag her in the chapel, did you?"

"I already told you that I didn't shag her."

"Okay, okay. So where is this going?"

"Well, I stayed with her pretty much all day," Sirius continued. "At the end of the day, we went to Diagon Alley to send all the funeral information to Dana. After we had sent the letter, Olivia asked me to come home with her."

James raised one eyebrow. "Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Did you go?"

"Yes. She was really upset, and she said she didn't want to be alone."

"And what happened?"

"Nothing. It was . . . James, it was pretty awkward. I could tell that she didn't know how to act around me, and really, I didn't know how to act around her, either. So we just sat on the couch together, and we ended up falling asleep."

"And the next morning?"

"We had breakfast, and then I went home. At that point, she had gotten Dana's response to her owl about Laura, and they were working out whether or not Dana could get the time off to come to the funeral and where she would stay . . . Liv was pretty busy. I just wanted to stay out of the way."

"And now?"

"I haven't spent a lot of time with her since then."

"But you want to." Again, James didn't need to ask. He knew that his friend had never stopped loving Olivia, and that he would do anything to spend extra time with her.

"James, I . . ." Sirius paused, and ran his hands over his face. "I've been watching Remus ever since Laura died. I know that he's completely torn apart, and I would do anything to bring Laura back to him, but I can't help but think of how _lucky_ he is."

"Lucky?" James repeated in disbelief. "Lucky because he lost his wife?"

"Lucky because he had so much time with her," Sirius corrected. "Watching him, I've realized that I want to have that with Olivia. She's the love of my life, James, just like Laura was for Remus. And in our line of work, anything could happen to either of us at any point in time. It's too dangerous to think that we have forever stretching out before us."

"What are you trying to say, Sirius?"

"I'm saying that I want Olivia back in my life and my heart, no matter what it takes."

James's eyes widened as he realized what Sirius meant. "Are you saying . . .?"

Sirius nodded. "When Olivia walked out of my life the day Remus and Laura got married, it was because I wasn't ready to marry her. I didn't want to be a husband. But now . . . I'm ready, James. I want her back, and I want her with me forever. If that means that I'm ready for marriage, well, then, I'm going to have to tell her that."

James's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "You're going to propose to her?"

Sirius nodded. "I just need to find the time, the place, the ring . . . and the right way to say it. You're the eloquent one, James. What do you say? Will you help me figure out how to tell Liv how I feel?"

James grinned. For some reason, his only thought was of how happy Lily would be. "Padfoot, you've come to the right place. Let's get started!"

* * *

A soft pop sounded as Dana Apparated into Olivia's flat. Olivia, who was in the kitchen, came out into the living room.

"Hey, Dana," she smiled. "How's Remus?"

"Getting there," Dana sighed. "He's a mess, Liv. I wish there was more I could do to help. I have to leave in a few days . . . I don't know how I'll be able to go back to France knowing that he's in such a terrible place."

"So don't go," Olivia said. "Stay here. You can live with me again. It'll be just like old times! Come on, Dana, say you'll stay."

Dana smiled sadly, and ran her hand over her stomach. "Nothing ever stays the same, Liv. I could come back and live here with you again, but it won't be like it was before. For one thing, I'll have this baby in a few more months . . . And I really don't belong here anymore. I need to create a new life for myself. You understand, don't you?"

"Yes," Olivia sighed. "But that doesn't mean I miss you less."

Dana crossed to hug her. "I miss you too, sweetheart." She took Olivia's hand, and led her to the couch. "Sit down and tell me all about how you've been. I've been so busy with Remus that we've barely had a chance to talk!"

Olivia looked at her for a moment. "Dana, I need to talk to someone or I'm going to burst. Can I . . . Will you listen to me?"

"I always have," Dana smiled. "I'll even give advice if you'd like."

"I would like," Olivia smiled. "Okay, here goes – I think I'm falling in love with Sirius all over again."

Dana could not have looked more surprised if Olivia had confessed that she was considering hexing Moody when he had his back turned just to see his reaction. "What?" she asked. "What happened?"

"Well, the day that Laura died, he was really there for me," Olivia said. "He held me while I cried, and he didn't leave me all day. I asked him to stay with me and he did. I asked him to come home with me, and he ended up staying all night, sleeping on the couch."

"Liv, you have three bedrooms, two of which are empty. If you wanted him to stay somewhere other than your bed, why didn't you give him mine or Lily's?"

Olivia smiled at the memory. "It wasn't like that. It was weird . . . I mean, we had been together all day, but when we got back here, everything got all awkward. I didn't know what to say or how to act. He offered to leave if it was too weird, but I really didn't want to be alone, so he took my hand and brought me to the couch. He said that we could just sit together and not talk. So, we sat down, and . . . I don't know how it happened, exactly, but we ended up holding one another like we used to, all curled up together. I didn't want to move – it felt so . . . I don't know, so _right_ to be with him like that. We ended up just falling asleep together on the couch."

"So, after sleeping on a couch with him, you're ready to take him back?"

"No, that's not it, exactly. I don't know, Dana. It's hard to explain. I've been watching him for months . . . I've seen such a change in him. Maybe it's because I wasn't with him, so I could see it more clearly. Maybe it's because of Harry – goodness knows he's made a difference in everyone's lives. But I've seen a different side of Sirius. He's become . . . gentler, more caring. He's not the same person that he used to be, yet he is . . . I just know that I want to be with him again."

Dana's eyebrows shot up. "Liv, think about this before you make any decisions. I mean, you're the one who left him, remember? You're the one who wanted desperately to get married. I know that Sirius has changed, but I don't think he's changed that much."

Olivia shook her head. "I don't care about that anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"I know that I did want to get married, like you said. But I don't think that it was so much marrying _Sirius_ as it was just _getting married_. Lily and James, Remus and Laura, you and Aidan . . . everyone was getting married. It just seemed like the thing to do, and I was heartbroken that Sirius didn't want to. I loved him and he loved me . . . I couldn't understand why he wanted to wait. But I can see his point now. He wasn't ready, and, when it comes right down to it, neither was I. If the biggest reason that I wanted to get married was just because it was the thing to do, then he was right. We should have just stayed as we were."

"Do you want to marry him now?" Dana asked quietly.

"Yes," Olivia said without hesitation. "After all that's happened, after all I've seen and done, I am even more convinced that he's the one I should marry."

"But you're willing to wait?"

"Yes," she said again with just as much conviction. "If Sirius and I really are meant to be together, if we really are meant to get married someday, then I have to wait until we're both ready. There's no sense in entering into a marriage that's going to be a mess because we're not ready for it."

"Liv, I can't believe it," Dana smiled. "You sound so mature."

Olivia grinned. "Well, I guess it had to happen sometime."

"But what are you going to do now?"

Olivia's grin faded. "I guess I should talk to Sirius."

"Yeah, that makes the most sense," Dana agreed, her eyes twinkling. "When are you going to talk to him?"

"As soon as I get up the nerve."

Both girls laughed.

"Where's that Gryffindor courage?" Dana teased.

"I think it checked out when Sirius kissed me," Olivia confessed.

"Whoa!" Dana exclaimed, jumping in her seat. "You never said anything about kissing! What happened?"

"Oh," Olivia said, flushing slightly. "Well, right after Laura died, I went to the chapel at the hospital to light a candle for her, and Sirius was there . . ."

"You kissed him in a _chapel_?" Dana exclaimed, her face showing her shock. "Liv, I can't believe you!"

"Oh, come on, Dana," Olivia laughed. "It's not like I shagged him in the chapel!" Her face turned even redder as she remembered what she had said to him after they stopped kissing.

"What aren't you telling me?" Dana asked instantly, recognizing the look on her friend's face. "I can always tell when you're holding back."

"Well . . . I might have told him that I'd be willing to shag if he wanted to."

"In the chapel?" Dana yelled. "Liv, are you serious?"

"NO!" Olivia exclaimed. "I was never contemplating shagging Sirius in the chapel! I just said that if he wanted to . . . you know, sometime . . . Dana, don't make me rehash every last word!"

Dana held up her hands. "I don't think I want to know."

Olivia grinned. "It's not as bad as it sounds."

Dana looked at her closely. "Do you know how it sounds? It sounds like you've already admitted that you still have feelings for him. I mean, you did invite him back here . . . you spent all night curled up with him on the couch . . . and you said you wanted to shag . . . Liv, I don't think you have as much to worry about as you think."

"You don't?"

"If he was still with you after all that, chances are that he already knows how you feel, and he probably feels something along the same lines. You just need to spell everything out for him."

"Oh, Dana, do you really think so?" Olivia asked, hope breaking out on her face like the sun.

"Yes," Dana smiled, reaching across to hug her. "I wouldn't have said it if I didn't believe it."

"No," Olivia replied, pulling back. "I know that you wouldn't." She sighed. "God, Dana I miss you so much."

"I miss this," Dana replied. "I miss sharing everything. I miss going to one another for advice. I miss hanging out with you girls."

"You can still stay."

Dana shook her head. "No. I know you're here, and you know that I'll always love you and the rest of our friends, but after what happened to Kathleen, my dad, Aidan, and everyone else we've loved and lost . . . I have to build a new life with my baby somewhere else."

Olivia hugged her. "I miss you so much."

"I know," Dana sighed. "I miss you, too. But we're not really that far apart, are we? I mean, look at this week. As long as we can arrange it, we can see each other as often as we like."

"In that case, prepare for plenty of visits!" Olivia grinned, hugging her again. "Thank you for listening to me and letting me talk through everything, Dana. You're the best."

Dana grinned, and kissed her cheek. "Good luck with all this – you're going to need it!"

They both laughed again.

* * *

The end of Dana's time with them finally came. They all gathered in Olivia's flat to bid her farewell. It was easier this time, now that they knew how quickly they could travel from one country to the other. This visit, even though it had been for the most tragic of reasons, made Dana seem closer. It made it less painful to let her go.

"I expect all of you to come and visit me," she said. She tickled Harry, who she had insisted upon holding until the last moment. "Especially you, my little sweetheart. You have to come and visit your new best friend."

Lily grinned. "We'll be there as soon as the baby's born. I know that Harry will love playing with his new friend."

Dana smiled, and kissed the baby's cheeks. "I'm going to miss you so much." She looked up from Harry to let her eyes sweep across her friends. "All of you."

She gave the baby back to James, and began hugging all her friends goodbye. They all managed to remain tearless this time as they said goodbye. Maybe they had all cried themselves out over the past week.

Dana reached Lily, and pulled her close. "You take care of Remus," she whispered. "Of everyone, you're the one he trusts right now. Don't you dare let him swallow himself in this grief, Lils. Keep him with us."

"I will," Lily promised. "I'll do everything I can for him."

"Good." Dana pulled back to look into her eyes. "That's all I can ask of you."

The hardest goodbye was Remus. She clung to him, trying to transfer some of her emotional strength to him by contact. He held her close, burying his face in her hair.

"Dana, this visit has meant so much to me," he said at last. "Thank you a million times for coming, and for all you've done for me."

She smiled, and reached up to touch his cheek. "We're friends, Remus. I'll always be there for you, no matter where I am."

"I'm lucky to have you."

"And I'm lucky to have _you_," she replied. "You take care of yourself, all right? I don't want to get an owl from these guys telling me you've turned into a hermit who only bathes twice a year and refuses to cut his hair."

Remus smiled in spite of himself. "I promise I won't become a scary recluse."

"Good." She hugged him again. "And if you need anything – anything at all – just send me an owl."

"I will," he promised.

"And if you just want to get away, I do have an extra bedroom," she added. "You have an open invitation to come and visit me."

"Thanks, Dana," Remus smiled.

She kissed his cheek. "Take care of yourself."

"You, too," he said, touching her stomach. "And take care of little Liam."

She made a face. "I really hope I can get used to that name."

"Or have a girl," Remus grinned.

"Or that," she agreed. She hugged him one last time. "Goodbye, Remus."

"Goodbye, sweetheart."

She finally released him, and looked around at all her friends. "You had better all come to visit me," she smiled. "I love you all."

With that, she Disapparated. This time they knew that she wasn't leaving their lives – she was merely a little bit farther away from them physically.


	51. Almost Paradise

A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing! Enjoy!

This chapter is dedicated to LogicalRaven!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Almost Paradise

Two days after Dana left, Lily and James were having breakfast together in their kitchen. Harry was sitting in his highchair, refusing to eat the baby food that Lily attempted to give him.

"Come on, Harry, you like pears. Mmm, yummy mashed pears."

"Way to talk it up, Lil. I'm sure nothing sounds more appetizing than something that's been mashed," James said, making a face. "Just deal with it for now, champ. In a few months, you'll have teeth, and we'll be able to give you real food."

"James!" Lily exclaimed. "Don't make him think that it's okay to turn it down. This _is_ real food."

"To the manufacturers, maybe," James grinned. He laughed at the look on his wife's face. "Okay, okay, I'll try to be more helpful. Come on, Harry, let's eat a bit of this. You don't want to be hungry all day because you skipped breakfast."

Lily stood to clear the table while James took over feeding the baby. He managed to get a few more spoonfuls of the baby food into Harry's mouth, which he decided to label a success. He wiped his hands, hoping that he hadn't gotten any baby food onto his Hogwarts robes.

"What are your plans for today?" he asked as he stood up.

"I'm going to take Harry to visit Remus," she replied.

"Is he up for visitors?" James asked.

"I think so," Lily replied. "Dana was over there every day for a week. If he's not used to visitors by now, he has more problems than I want to think about."

"Yeah, but, Lil, that was Dana. She's different."

"Different how?" Lily asked, turning from the sink to face James.

"She . . . Well, she's been there. She knows what he's going through."

"And I can't be sympathetic?"

"No, that's not what I meant."

"What did you mean, then?"

James sighed. "Just be careful, okay? Remus is in a really bad place right now, and when he gets like that . . . Sirius yells and smashes things, Peter panics and runs to hide behind his parents, and I try to pretend it's not happening, but Remus just gets quiet. You don't know what's going through his head, and, in reality, you probably don't _want_ to know. He's . . . Just be careful, Lil."

"I'll be careful, I promise. You worry too much," Lily smiled crossing to kiss his cheek. "I love you, James."

He smiled at the unexpected affectionate gesture, and pulled her close to kiss her lips. "I love you, too."

Harry squealed, and his parents broke apart. James gave him an exasperated look.

"You really know how to ruin a moment, don't you?" he asked.

Lily laughed. "Doesn't Sirius always say that about you? Maybe it's genetic."

"Well, we're going to train it out of Harry, then," James grinned. He lifted the baby up, swinging him through the air. Harry gave a squeal of delight, and began to laugh as James tickled him.

"Dadadadada," he chanted.

James laughed, and kissed his cheek. "Well, at least we're that far. Can you try for 'Daddy' again?"

"Dadadada," Harry said again, laughing as James made faces at him.

"I think we should be impressed with that much," Lily smiled. "He's only seven months old."

James tossed him up in the air again, then gave him to Lily. "I need to get to work."

"Thanks for shaking him around for me before you leave," Lily laughed. "If he's throwing up his breakfast in ten minutes, I'll send you a Howler."

"I'll be waiting for it," James grinned. He kissed Harry's cheek and Lily's lips. "I'll see you both tonight. Say hello to Remus for me."

"I will," Lily promised. She touched his cheek. "Be nice to the kids today."

"I'm nice to them every day," James grinned. "See you tonight."

He left, softly closing the door behind him. Lily looked back at the baby in her arms.

"Well, Harry, what do you say to a visit to Uncle Remus?" she asked.

Harry bounced in her arms, smiling and babbling to himself. Lily smiled and kissed his cheek.

"I'll take that as approval. Okay, let's get ourselves all cleaned up, and we'll go over."

"Now, listen," Lily said to Harry as she walked up Remus's front walk carrying the baby, "Uncle Remus is very sad right now because Aunt Laura died. So he might not play with you as much as he usually does, okay? But you can't be sad or mad at him, because he's still trying to get over being very sad. So you just be your usual adorable self, and I'm sure you'll help him feel better. Would you like to help Uncle Remus feel better?"

Harry began babbling in baby talk again, and Lily smiled. She never ceased to be amazed at his observance of the rules of conversation. Even if his end didn't make sense to her yet, he knew when he should begin talking.

"You're a better conversationalist than many adults," she smiled. She kissed his cheek, and knocked on Remus's door.

It was only a moment before the door opened, revealing Remus. He looked more haggard than Lily had ever seen him, including the days following his full moon transformations. She swallowed the gasp that wanted to cross her lips, and smiled instead.

"Hello, Remus," she said.

"Lily," he said dully, opening the door wider. "Come in."

"Thanks," Lily said, stepping into the house. "Harry was just telling me how much he wanted to see you, so I thought we'd stop over for a visit."

"Harry doesn't talk yet," Remus said with a ghost of a smile. He looked at the baby, who was tangling his fist in his mother's hair, and felt his heart swell. Dana was right – he adored this baby, and Harry deserved to know that.

"But he makes his wishes know," she countered. She pulled Harry's fingers from her hair, and bounced him on her hip. "Didn't you want to visit Uncle Remus, Harry?"

"Rererere," he said, reaching out to Remus.

Remus smiled, really smiled, and reached out to take the baby from his mother's arms. "So you wanted to see me, did you, Harry?"

"Rererere," Harry said again, bouncing in Remus's arms.

Remus smiled, and began tickling the baby. Harry shrieked with laughter.

"See?" Lily smiled. "I told you he wanted to see you."

"Come in and sit down," Remus said, carrying the baby into the living room. "Do you want something to drink?"

"No, I'm fine," Lily replied, following her host. "We just finished breakfast."

Remus nodded. "What about you, Harry? Can I offer you something?"

Harry began to babble at Remus, who smiled at his baby talk. Lily smiled at the sight of them together as she sat down. She had been worried about Remus at first sight, but it would appear that Harry was just the thing to help him over his depression.

Remus settled himself on the floor with the baby, and began playing with him. Lily watched them from the couch, unwilling to break the moment by forcing Remus to talk. If he wanted to talk to her, he would. She was willing to wait until he was ready.

As it turned out, Remus was not ready to talk that day. Nor the next, nor the day after that. Lily went faithfully each day with Harry, hoping to be as much help to her friend as she could. But she quickly realized that Harry was far more help than she could ever be.

It was Harry that Remus gave his rare smiles to. It was Harry that made his eyes light up. It was Harry that brought out the shadows of the Remus they had known since Hogwarts. It helped that Harry adored all his uncles, and was very willing to spend time playing with Remus.

And for the next weeks, that was what happened. Each morning, Lily would pack up her small son, and take him to visit his uncle Remus. While Remus and Harry played, Lily would tidy up the house and cook meals that would keep for several days. She did any household task that she could find undone, trying to help Remus in that way. She hoped that he appreciated her efforts, but she was sure that it was Harry that he truly appreciated. She was just glad to have found a way to help her friend overcome this seemingly insurmountable sorrow.

"How's it going with Remus?" Dana asked, her head firmly planted in Lily's fire.

"Okay, I suppose," Lily replied. "He doesn't want to talk about anything, but he loves playing with Harry. I take him over every day, and the first thing Remus does is to take Harry from me. He plays with the baby, and I basically take care of his house. But he hasn't really _talked_ to me at all."

"Do you think that Harry's helping him?"

"He seems to be," Lily said slowly. "Harry's pretty much the only one who can get him to smile."

"Babies have a special power over adults, don't they?" Dana smiled. "I think you're doing exactly the right thing, Lils."

"Really? I'm just worried that I'm not doing enough."

"He knows you're there," Dana said. "When he's ready to talk, you'll be ready to listen, and he knows that. For now, I think it's enough."

"It's going to have to be," Lily replied. "I don't know what else to do."

Olivia walked through the corridors of the Auror department, searching for her partner. They had finally reached the point of not being the newest Aurors, and could walk through the halls without fear of being forced into menial labor by the older, more experience Aurors. All of the members of their induction class loved moving through the Ministry with their heads held high.

"Good morning, Olivia," Frank Longbottom greeted her with a cheerful smile. "It's nice to see you out of your office."

Olivia smiled at him, knowing that he knew exactly why she had spent the previous months hiding. "It's lovely to be able to escape," she said.

"Are you looking for work to do?" Frank asked with a mischievous smile. "I'm sure I could find some filing for you . . ."

"Don't make me hex you, Longbottom," Olivia laughed. "I'm looking for Sirius. Have you seen him?"

"I think he was in the lounge," Frank replied. He leaned slightly closer to her, lowering his voice. "Do you have new orders from Moody?"

"No, I just wanted to talk to him about a report we were writing together," Olivia said, making the story up with out batting an eye. "You said he was in the lounge?"

"Yes, the last time I saw him."

"Great. Thanks, Frank." She started to turn away, then turned back to face her coworker. "How's Neville doing?"

"Great," Frank replied, his face breaking out into a beaming smile. "He's picking up some words – well, maybe not actual _words_, but sounds that have some meaning to them. He's a great little guy."

"He's a sweetheart," Olivia smiled. "Give him a kiss for me."

"I will," Frank replied. "Good luck finding Sirius."

"Thanks," Olivia smiled. She turned again, and made her way toward the lounge.

She reached the room she had been looking for, and pulled the door open. Sirius was seated at one of the tables with several other Aurors, talking and laughing. Olivia smiled, feeling a bit of exasperation. With all that was happening in their world, one would think that the Aurors would be out battling Death Eaters, not chatting in their office. Shaking her head, she made her way over to join them.

"Hi, Liv," Sirius grinned. "What's new?"

"Can we talk?" Olivia asked.

"Sure," Sirius replied, turning serious at once. "Come on, let's go back to our office."

Another perk of no longer being the "new Aurors" meant that they had been reassigned to better, larger offices. Each partnership had been granted their own office, meaning that Sirius and Olivia now shared one between the two of them. They had spent their first day just sitting in the office, loving the sight of only two desks, each with only one owner.

They made their way through the maze of the department to their office, and Sirius opened the door. He held it for Olivia, her murmured her thanks as she passed him.

"What's going on?" he asked as he came in behind her, shutting the door.

"We need to talk," Olivia said without preamble.

"Did something happen?" Sirius asked, his face turning chalky white. "Have you heard something? Is it James and Lily?"

"No, no! Let me speak, and I'll explain."

Sirius sat down on his desk and looked at her expectantly. "Okay. Explain."

"First, as far as I know, James and Lily are fine," Olivia stated. "This doesn't have anything to do with work or the war."

"Okay," Sirius said, nodding in agreement.

"I wanted – Sirius, we need to talk about us, and about what happened between us that day in the hospital."

"Ah," Sirius said, clasping his hands together. "Right. That."

"Yes, that," Olivia said. She glanced at the door as though expecting it to open. "We've discussed our private life here way too many times in the past, and we've been caught almost every time. Do you think we could get together tonight to talk?"

"Sure," Sirius said at once. "Why don't you come over after work? We'll have dinner, and discuss everything."

Olivia smiled. "That sounds perfect."

"Good. I'll see you at seven, then?"

"Seven it is."

There was a knock at the door, then it pushed open. John, Olivia's older brother, stuck his head into the office.

"Livie, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure, John," she said. She turned to look at Sirius. "So, are we set, then?"

"Completely," Sirius replied.

"Good. I'll talk to you later."

As soon as the door closed behind Olivia, Sirius opened a desk drawer and pulled out his mirror.

"James!" he called into the mirror.

James's face appeared within an instant. "Can we make this quick, Padfoot? My next class is about to start."

"It's going to be tonight," Sirius said without preamble.

James rolled his eyes. "Okay, not that quick. _What_ is going to be tonight?"

"Liv's coming over to discuss our relationship."

"Whoa." James clearly sat down hard. "Are you ready for this?"

"I think so," Sirius said nervously.

"You have the ring, right?"

"It's at home."

"Good. And you know what you're going to say?"

Sirius pulled out a parchment that contained the speech James had written for him. "I don't know, Prongs. It's . . ."

"It's a good speech!" James exclaimed.

"Yeah, I know, but it's . . . _I_ would never say this stuff. _You_ would."

"Hey, you wanted a speech, and I gave you a speech. And, I might add, it's an excellent speech. Sure to win any girl's heart."

Sirius sighed. "If you're sure."

"I'm sure." A bell rang in the distance. "Listen, Sirius, I've got to get to class. Can we talk later?"

"Sure."

"Good. If I don't get a chance to talk to you before you and Liv get together, good luck!"

"Thanks, Prongs."

"You're welcome."

James's face faded from the mirror, leaving Sirius alone in his office. He put the mirror down on his desk, and leaned back in his chair, breathing deeply to calm himself down. How was he ever going to live through this?

Sirius left as soon as his shift ended, eager to get home and prepare for Olivia's arrival. He stopped at their favorite Chinese restaurant and ordered all the foods he and Olivia had loved when they were dating. Then he Apparated home to clean his flat before the food arrived.

Upon arrival, he looked around his flat critically. In his opinion, it looked fine. However, he wasn't sure how a woman would see it. He was tempted to call Lily to come over to help, but changed his mind. He didn't want to involve her, fearing that she would get too excited. She had been hoping that he and Olivia would get back together since the day they had broken up. While Sirius, too, hoped for that outcome, and knew that Lily needed something to be happy about, he didn't want to get her hopes up, just in case it didn't turn out the way he was hoping.

He knew that Lily had been spending a lot of time with Remus recently; although her visits had been wonderfully therapeutic for Remus, they were draining the sparkle out of Lily. She was giving so much to him that she was neglecting herself. Sirius and James had discussed this on several occasions, but hadn't been able to find a way to make her stop. Even though they and Peter went quite often to visit Remus, Lily seemed to feel that he still needed her. While Sirius couldn't deny that Lily seemed to be able to help Remus more than the others did, he also wanted her to be more careful with herself.

After several minutes of internal debate, he decided to go ahead without her assistance. He began using the household spells that he had avoided recently, cleaning everything in sight. He finally felt that his home was presentable, and made his way into the bathroom for a quick shower.

He had just stepped out of the shower when the food appeared on his table. When he left the bathroom half-dressed, drying his hair on a towel, he saw everything waiting for him. He grinned.

"Perfect timing," he observed. He glanced at the clock on the mantel. "Liv will be here in fifteen minutes. I'd better get dressed."

At precisely seven, Sirius was ready to receive his guest. He had set the table, even lighting candles to accompany the meal. The food was in serving dishes, ready to be eaten, and a bottle of Olivia's favorite wine was uncorked, ready to be poured into their glasses. He himself was dressed nicely and wearing the cologne she had bought him for Christmas one year.

Olivia arrived at five after seven, also dressed far nicer than she had been earlier that day. She smiled at Sirius, and looked around with wide eyes.

"Wow," she said. "It looks really nice in here."

"Thanks," Sirius smiled. He leaned down to kiss her cheek, but paused, looking in her eyes. "Is this okay?"

"Yes," she breathed.

Sirius smiled, and kissed her cheek, letting his lips linger longer than was necessary. Olivia didn't move or breathe until he had straightened up again. She fought the urge to pull his head down for a proper kiss, and smiled at him.

"Do I smell Chinese?"

"You certainly do," Sirius grinned.

Olivia crossed to the table, and looked at all he had set out. "Sirius, this is fantastic!"

He grinned. "I had hoped you'd like it."

"These are all my favorites." She looked up at him with a glowing smile. "But you knew that. They're your favorites, too."

"Yeah," Sirius smiled. "Shall we eat first, or talk first?"

"Let's eat before the food gets cold."

"All right."

They sat down together, and Olivia looked around admiringly again.

"I can't believe you even have candles out for this."

Sirius grinned. "Only the best for you."

She made a face. "If you don't kill the mushy routine, I'm out the door. If I wanted to date James, I would."

"I think Lily might have a problem with that," Sirius laughed.

"Yeah, probably," Olivia grinned. "Just calm down, okay? Be Sirius."

"I think I can do that," Sirius replied.

They both relaxed over their food, chatting of the thousand small events that made up their day. They discussed Remus, and their continued concern for him.

"I know I shouldn't say it, but I'm really worried about him," Sirius said. "I'm afraid he's only clinging to his sanity by a thread."

"From what Lily's said, Harry seems to really be helping him," Olivia offered.

"Yeah," Sirius agreed. "Harry is pretty much the only thing he's willing to talk about when I see him. I can't get him to open up about Laura at all."

"He hasn't been talking to Lily or me about her, either," Olivia said, biting her lip. "What about James and Peter? Have they had any luck?"

"No," Sirius sighed. He shook his head. "It's sort of scary, you know? I mean, Remus has always been one to keep things to himself. I think he looks at it as some sort of weakness to share his problems . . . or maybe it's just that he got so used to it over the years. I mean, his greatest problem and his greatest secret are one in the same. He's not used to sharing or looking to others for help."

"But he needs help," Olivia said, her eyes wide with concern.

"He'll be okay," Sirius said firmly, trying to convince both of them. "He's been through terrible things in the past. I'm sure he can get through this, too."

"He doesn't really have much choice," Olivia sighed.

They finished eating, and cleaned up together. Once the last dish had been put away, Sirius looked intently at Olivia.

"Well, I suppose we can't put it off any longer, can we?" he asked.

"No, I suppose not," Olivia agreed.

"Come on, let's go talk in the living room," Sirius said, taking her hand to lead her out of the kitchen.

They sat down together on the sofa, and Olivia gave him a nervous smile.

"Can I start?" she asked.

"If you'd like," Sirius agreed. The diamond ring he had purchased earlier that week was burning a hole in his pocket, but he had to know how she felt before he proposed marriage. If she said that she didn't want anything to do with him anymore, the ring was going to be returned to the store.

"Sirius, I love you," she said without preamble. "I've always loved you . . . I never stopped, even when we were broken up."

Sirius's eyes widened. He had definitely thought it would take them longer to get to this point. "Are you sure you want to tell me this?" he asked.

"Positive," she said. "After all that's happened, after all that we've seen, after Aidan and Laura . . . Sirius, I've been acting like we have all the time in the world, but that just isn't true. Anything could happen to either of us at any time – especially since we're Aurors. I can't . . . I can't handle the idea of losing you without telling you this. So, I love you, and I want to try to make it work between us again."

"Olivia," Sirius began.

"Wait," she said, putting a finger over his lips. "I'm not through."

"Sorry," he smiled.

She drew a deep breath. "I know that we broke up before because I thought that I didn't want to wait for you anymore. Well, I was wrong. I want to wait now."

"Wait?" Sirius repeated, all the words that James had taught him racing out his mind. "What do you mean?"

"I told you that I wanted to get married, and I wouldn't take no for an answer. Well, I've changed my mind on that. I _will_ take no for an answer – in fact, I want to put _off_ getting married."

"You don't want to get married?" Sirius frowned, not sure if he was happy or sad with this turn of events.

"Oh, I do – someday. But not now." She smiled, and ran her hand over his cheek. "Sirius, we've just managed to find our way back to one another. Why would we want to rush into marriage now? We have time to wait. Just as long as we're together, I'm happy." She paused, fear creeping into her eyes. "You do want to give us another try, don't you?"

As a response, Sirius leaned forward, capturing her lips with his. He kissed her for several moments, loving the feel of her in his arms again. While he kissed her, he let his view of their new relationship fall into the proper perspective. They weren't going to get married – not yet anyway. He'd just put the ring into a drawer, waiting for the appropriate time to make its appearance. Because, this time, he wasn't going to settle for anything less than forever with her.

"Yes, I want to give us another try" he whispered as he pulled away. "I love you, too, Olivia."

She smiled, and kissed him again.

When they finally pulled apart, Sirius pulled Olivia close to him, cuddling her against his chest. He kissed the top of her head, and ran his fingers through her hair.

"So, what are we going to do now?" he asked.

"Can we go back to the way we were?" she asked. "Can we start dating again?"

"I'd love that," Sirius grinned. His smile faded slightly. "What's your family going to say, Liv? They all hate me."

"They'll come around," she said stoically. "Anyway, it's not their decision. I'm not a little girl anymore, and they can't tell me who I'm allowed to date."

"Can we put off telling them for awhile?"

Olivia giggled. "If you want."

"Good," he smiled. "I just want to enjoy this for awhile before your brother starts trying to hex me at work."

She giggled again, then sobered. "Sirius, what are we going to tell Remus?"

"Remus?"

"Yes, Remus. He's just lost the love of his life. How are we going to tell him that we're back together? It's sort of like rubbing his face in it, don't you think?"

"I think he'll be able to handle it," Sirius said uncertainly. "But . . . maybe we should just keep this to ourselves for now. Not tell anyone. At least until Remus starts to be a bit more like himself. What do you think?"

"Good idea," Olivia said, obviously relieved. She smiled, and kissed Sirius's cheek. "A secret relationship is very romantic, don't you think?"

Sirius bent his head to kiss her lips. "I think it's going to be brilliant."

James walked home from work slowly, his very stride showing his preoccupation. He was worried about his wife.

Lily had dedicated herself selflessly to helping Remus, but it wasn't helping _her_ at all. She wasn't allowing herself to grieve for her friend, and the bottled up feelings were starting to take their toll. She had become jumpy, snapped at anyone who bothered her, and would cry at the slightest provocation. James only wanted to help her, but he wasn't sure how. He had a plan, but he wasn't sure what she'd make of his idea.

He opened the door, and stepped into the house. He could hear Harry giggling, and Lily's voice rising and falling as she spoke to him.

"Lily?" he called. "Harry?"

"Hi, James!" Lily called. "We're in the living room!"

James made his way through the house to the living room, where Lily and Harry were sitting on the floor, playing with Harry's stuffed lion. As he entered the room, Harry gave a glad cry, and reached his arms up to his father.

"Hi, Harry!" James grinned. He swept the baby up into his arms, kissing his cheek. He looked down at Lily with a smile. "How was your day? Did you go see Remus?"

"This morning," she replied. "Peter was there, so we didn't stay long."

"Good," James replied. "I think Remus really appreciates Peter's visits. I know he can't get away that often."

Lily nodded. "I wanted to leave them alone for awhile."

James extended a hand to help her to her feet. "So what did you and Harry do today?"

"Not much," Lily admitted with a smile. "We read some books and played with some toys, didn't we, sweetheart?" She tickled Harry's tummy, and he laughed again.

"Darling, I have a suggestion," James said slowly. "I'm not sure what you'll think of it, but it's sort of too late to change it."

"What are you talking about, James?"

James drew a deep breath. "We're going away."

"What?" Lily exclaimed. "James, what are you talking about?"

"I've booked us a vacation to Greece," James said in a rush. "We leave in two weeks, when the students are off for Easter. All the arrangements have been made, so you just have to show up with luggage in hand."

"James!" Lily yelled. "How could you just do that without talking to me?"

"I thought you needed to get away for awhile," James said. He put Harry down on the floor; the baby crawled over to his lion again, putting its paws in his mouth.

"I don't need to get away!" Lily yelled, her eyes snapping fire. "I'm perfectly fine here! Did you even consider that I might have commitments?"

"You always tell me about everything you're planning," James said. "All you've done recently is babysit Remus, and it's not doing you any good."

"But it's doing _Remus_ plenty of good," Lily countered. "He needs us, James! This isn't the time to just up and leave him!"

"He's going to be fine," James replied soothingly. "He has Peter, Sirius and Olivia right here, and I'm sure that Dana could come over in a pinch. He'll be all right without us for a week."

"Just a week?" Lily said warily.

"Just a week," James repeated. "I've reserved us a hotel right on the beach for the entire week. We need to introduce Harry to the beach, Lil. We've never taken him before."

Lily smiled in spite of herself. "He will love it, won't he?"

"Yes," James smiled, seeing her anger melt. "And I chose Greece because . . . I thought that the Canaries were a little too obvious."

"Obvious?"

"Everyone knows that we love to vacation there," James explained. "I didn't want to give the Death Eaters our address, if you will."

Lily nodded slowly. "Are you sure this is a good idea, James? I mean, aside from leaving Remus – which I'm not excited about – we're going to have to be really careful about the Death Eaters."

"We'll be careful," James assured her, drawing her close. "Don't worry, love. Everything is going to be fine."

The next day, Lily informed Remus of their vacation plans. He didn't respond for a long time; he merely looked down at the baby in his lap. When he finally did speak, it was still without lifting his eyes.

"That sounds wonderful," he said. "I'm sure you'll have a great time."

"Remus . . . if you want me to stay, I will."

He looked up at her, his eyes still haunted by the pain and sorrow of the past month. "Stay?" he repeated. "Lily, do you really think I would be so selfish as to cheat you out of a trip to Greece with your husband and son?"

"I – Remus, I didn't mean . . ."

"Lily, you have been a fantastic friend," he said slowly. "You have stayed by my side through some awful days. Because of you and Harry, I've been able to fight my way back. After all you've done for me, how could I ask for more?"

She reached out to touch his cheek. "Listen to me, Remus. Friends can never ask for too much. I will always be here for you. Anything you need – just ask. I'll do anything I can for you."

Tears filled his eyes as he smiled sadly at her. "I know. You are one of the most genuine, truly sweet people I've ever known." He took her hand in his. "My life is better for having you in it."

She smiled, blinking back tears. "And mine is for having _you_ in it."

"Go to Greece, Lily," he said with a smile. "Go to Greece and have a lovely time. Jump in the waves for me."

She grinned. "I'll bring some sand back for you."

"Oh, this is heaven," Lily sighed, opening the doors that led to their hotel room balcony. She stepped outside, and watched the surf roll in across the beach, then turned to James with a glowing smile. "I'm so glad you had this idea – and that you forced me into coming."

James grinned as he joined her, carrying Harry. "How else was I going to get you here?"

Lily smiled as she leaned up to kiss his cheek. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Lily grabbed Harry's hands. "Look, Harry! That's the ocean! What do you think of it?"

Harry began babbling again, and James smiled. "I think he wants to go down to play in the sand."

"Yes, let's go!" Lily agreed.

They walked back into the room to change into their bathing suits and gather up the toys that their friends had sent for Harry to use in the sand. Lily was sure that their friends had been almost as excited as they were about the trip – and more than a little envious. Peter, in particular, had told them several times that he didn't want to know any more about it. James had laughed, declaring that he was just jealous, and gave him more information.

Once they were dressed, slathered in sunscreen, and had everything packed up, they went down to the beach. Lily kicked off her flip-flops at once, sinking her toes into the sand.

"Oh, this is _wonderful_!" she exclaimed. "James, why don't we live at the beach?"

"You want to buy a house here?" he laughed.

"Could we?"

"We'll have to talk about it," James laughed. "Where should we set ourselves up?"

They selected a patch of sand, and laid out their blankets, beach chairs and sand toys. James spent several minutes working the large umbrella into the sand, finally opening it to cast shade over them.

"Will that keep you from getting burned?" he asked Lily with a smile.

"Hopefully," she replied. "Okay, Harry, it looks like we're ready. What do you think of the sand?"

She put the baby down on the sand, which he promptly dug his small fists into. He giggled as he waved his hands, tossing sand everywhere. Then he flopped backward, lying down on the beach, still giggling.

"I think he likes it," James grinned. "Shall we take him down to the water?"

"Sure," Lily agreed.

James picked the baby up, and they went down to the water's edge together.

"Look at the ocean, Harry!" James exclaimed. "Isn't it nice? Do you want to touch the water?"

He leaned down to dip Harry's toes into the water. Harry gave a shriek, then kicked his feet against the waves the rolled in around them. James laughed, and dipped him lower so that he could put his hands into the water.

"He loves it," Lily grinned.

"Of course he does," James replied. "He's a Potter. How could he not?"

They had spent three perfect days at the beach, letting Harry discover all the wonders of the sand and ocean. The baby loved the beach more each day, and began crying when they took him inside to clean up for dinner.

"I can't get over how much he loves this," Lily said as she played in the sand with Harry.

"I know," James grinned. "I would say we should have brought him ages ago, but, really, I'm glad we waited until he was old enough to sit up."

Lily giggled. "Yeah, I think his fun factor would have been considerably lower if the only thing he could do in the sand was lie in one place and look around."

"We'll have to bring him back," James observed. "Maybe not always to Greece, but we'll have to take him to the beach every year."

"We could go to a different beach every year," Lily offered. "That way we'd get to see most of the world."

"Ah, that sounds like an ulterior motive," James smiled.

"We all need to have fun," she replied defensively.

"Fair enough," James grinned.

Mumbled words reached Lily's ears, and she looked up. "Did you say something?"

"Fair enough," James repeated.

"No, something else . . . It almost sounded like –"

"DUCK!" James yelled.

Lily slammed herself to the ground, pulling Harry down with her. When she had righted herself again, she could see James with his wand drawn.

"What just happened?"

"A curse just went over your head," James said shakily. "Do you have your wand down here?"

"In that bag . . ."

"Get it."

"How could they have found us?" Lily exclaimed as she struggled to pull out her wand while she clutched Harry to her chest.

"I don't know – I don't think that's really the point – _stupefy_!"

James's stunner hit its mark; a masked Death Eater fell to the ground fifteen feet from them. Lily drew her wand and began searching the surrounding area with her eyes.

"Where are they?"

"I think they're hiding along those dunes," James said tensely. "Lil, take Harry back to the hotel."

"James, I'm not leaving you here by yourself!"

"I can defend myself – just get Harry out of here!"

"What if they're already in our room? What then?"

"_Crucio_!"

James gasped, and jumped in front of Lily, taking the curse for her. He yelled in pain, and Lily dove around him, still clinging to her baby.

"_Stupefy_!" she yelled.

The curse was lifted from James as another Death Eater fell. James clambered back to his feet.

"Thanks."

"Do you see why I don't want to leave you?"

"Do you see why I want you to?"

Two more Death Eaters emerged from the sand dunes that James had pointed out as their hiding place. James and Lily immediately went into fighting mode, and began hurling hexes at their adversaries. The Death Eaters responded in kind; for several moments, confused battle reined. Others on the beach noticed what was going on, and began gathering to watch. Lily looked at them in agony. They were likely Muggles. How could they defend themselves? She wanted to scream at them to get away, but there just wasn't time.

"_Imperius_!"

Lily gasped and jumped out of the way of the Unforgivable Curse. She was shocked by the new body that threw itself between her and the curse, deflecting it away before hurling another curse at the Death Eater.

"What?" she gasped. "How? Who?"

The new figure turned to give her a grin.

"What, you thought that Dumbledore would let you bring Harry Potter to Greece without undercover protection?"

"Sirius," Lily gasped.

"Take that baby and get out of here!" Sirius commanded as another curse flew toward them. "The other Aurors are on their way. Go back to the hotel!"

"But what if -?"

"Believe me, after the number of protective charms I've put on your room, _you'll_ be lucky to get in. Go, Lils, go!"

Pops sounded all around her as Aurors appeared. Realizing that James and Sirius would be fine, Lily raced back to the hotel with Harry in her arms. She didn't stop running until they had made it to their room.

"Oh, God, Harry," she moaned, burying her face in his small body. "Thank God you're all right. Thank God Sirius was here. Thank God Dumbledore's keeping an eye on things." She kissed Harry's face again and again. "You are one lucky little boy, Harry Potter. You have some of the greatest wizards of the age looking out for you. As long as we have Dumbledore on our side, you'll always be safe. _Always_."


	52. Finding Healing

A/N: This is a happy chapter, I promise! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Happy birthday, RaysOfHope!

**Bosco19:** No, Remus and Lily aren't going to have an affair. If I was living my dream of writing for a soap opera, they would, but . . . James and Lily barely had any time to be together. I can't bring myself to ruin it with any problems in their marriage.

**Sweetness0984:** Yeah, Peter fully realizes at this point that he's definitely not helping his friends. He just wants to save himself, and he's pretty sure that by playing both sides, there's no way he could lose.

I don't own Harry Potter.

Finding Healing

It was almost an hour before James and Sirius came back up to the hotel. Lily had already given Harry a bath and laid him down for a nap when the two men entered their room. Lily, still covered in sand and dressed in her bathing suit, jumped up from the chair she had been sitting in.

"Thank God you're all right!" she exclaimed, running to hug James.

James held her close for a moment while Sirius crossed to check on Harry. Relief flooded his face as he watched the baby sleep.

"What happened?" Lily asked as she pulled back from James, who crossed to kiss the baby. "How did they know we were here? How did they find us? How did _you_ find us, Sirius?"

Sirius grinned. "How many times did you two tell us where you'd be? I mentioned to Moody and Frank that you were going away, and they told Dumbledore. He pretty much issued orders for me to follow you here."

"Is Olivia here, too?" Lily asked.

"No, she's at home, dealing with all our normal obligations. Believe me, she was rather jealous when I told her that I was coming to Greece!"

Lily smiled briefly. "But how did the Death Eaters find us? We only told you, Liv, Remus and Peter where we'd be."

Sirius frowned. "That's the part that I'm not sure about. I only told Frank and Moody, and they took the news straight to Dumbledore. Where could there be an information leak in that web of people?"

"Could someone have overheard you discussing it at work?" James asked.

"Anything's possible," Sirius conceded. "I hate the idea that one of the Aurors could be a Death Eater or a spy for Voldemort, but you never really know, do you?"

"We'll just have to be more careful about what we say in public in the future," James said, rubbing his eyes. "I know I talked about this trip at work . . . I'm sure anyone could have overheard me."

"You're thinking about Snape," Sirius said. It wasn't a question; he knew how James felt about their childhood rival.

"Well, yeah."

"Dumbledore must trust him, or he would never have hired him to teach his students," Lily said.

"Yes, I'm sure that Dumbledore trusts him," James said slowly, "but I don't."

"I'm not entirely convinced of his trustworthiness, either," Sirius agreed.

"You're both still bitter over the way he acted when we were in school," Lily said, rolling her eyes. "We're not little kids anymore, guys. He may have changed since becoming an adult. We don't have any proof that he's done anything wrong."

"Come on, Lil, look at his friends," Sirius said. "Practically all of them are known Death Eaters! I'm sure he is, too."

"The point is, we have to consider everyone a suspect," James said, ending the argument that would have begun between Lily and Sirius. "It's the same thing as the spy that's feeding information about the Order to the Death Eaters – we have to suspect everyone."

Lily shuddered. "I hate the idea that we have to be so suspicious."

"We don't really have much choice at this point."

"They are gone, though, right? The Death Eaters?" Lily asked, glancing at the deserted balcony.

"They're gone," James affirmed. He sighed, and ran his hands over his face. "You know why they were here, Lil. They wanted Harry."

Lily nodded, biting her lower lip. "He's still not safe, is he?"

"Not here," James said. "We need to get home."

"Will he be safe there?" Lily asked. "If they found us in Greece, what are the chances that they don't know where we live?"

"Pretty slim," Sirius sighed. "I'd suggest finding a new house."

James nodded. "I agree. We can't stay in Hogsmeade. Even with the protective charms, everyone knows where we live."

"So we have to move again," Lily said quietly. "My baby will live in three houses before his first birthday."

"I think the important thing is that he _lives_ till his first birthday, not _where_ he lives," Sirius commented. "This is about keeping him safe, Little Flower."

"What about keeping him _secure_?" she snapped. "Don't you think that moving around so much is going to make him feel like some sort of nomad? Don't you think that he deserves the security of always coming home to the same place? Of going to sleep in the same room every night?"

"Of course I think he deserves it," Sirius replied. "But I think that he deserves to be safe even more. I think he deserves to live through each day so that he has the _chance_ to go to sleep in that room."

"We have to do whatever it takes to keep him out of danger, Lil," James said softly. "If that means moving again, then that's what we have to do."

She sighed, blinking back tears. "There's no other way?"

"Not that I can think of," James replied. "Not unless you want to go into hiding."

"No," Lily replied without hesitation. "He needs some sense of normalcy. Better to live in the open in a new house than in hiding."

"Good," James said. "I feel the same way. So, let's get cleaned up, pack our things and go home."

* * *

That evening, they returned home. Sirius came with them to ensure their safety. He was taking Dumbledore's orders quite literally; Lily wondered if she would have to tell him to drop the bodyguard act in the future.

When they arrived at the house, Lily took her sleeping baby upstairs while James and Sirius settled themselves in the kitchen. Lily took her time changing Harry into his pajamas and putting him to bed. She read him two books and sang him lullabies before he finally drifted off to sleep. Even after he was asleep, she held him close, gently swaying back and forth in the rocking chair in the nursery. She felt a horrible sorrow and guilt as she looked around his bedroom.

"I thought this would always be home for you, Harry," she whispered to the sleeping baby. "I'm sorry it can't be."

She finally stood, and carried the baby to his crib. She kissed his forehead before laying him in his bed.

"We'll find you an even better home," she promised. "You'll love it even more than this one. And it'll be _home_ to all of us because we'll all be together."

She covered him with a light blanket, and waved her wand to cast a soft, glowing yellow light in the room. With one last look at her sleeping son, she left the room, closing the door behind her.

When she reached the kitchen, James and Sirius were seated at the table with maps spread before them. Two cups of coffee floated next to them; the maps had taken up every available inch on the table. The two men looked up as Lily entered.

"Lil," James smiled. "Do you want some coffee?"

"I think I'm jumpy enough already, thanks," she said, sitting down. "What are you working on?"

"We're trying to decide the best place for us to look for a house," James replied. "We've ruled out Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade because we've already lived there, but pretty much anywhere else is fine."

"Well, that certainly narrows it down," Lily said with a shake of her head. "Are we going to stay here until we've found a place?"

"Yeah, I don't see any reason why we can't," James replied. "The Death Eaters haven't found us yet."

"That we know of," Lily clarified.

"We'll put your house under Auror surveillance until you move," Sirius promised. "Now, let's work on finding you somewhere else to live."

"Yes, since we only have a few options," Lily smiled.

"Is there anywhere you've always wanted to live, Lil?" James asked.

"_Always_?" Lily repeated. "I don't think I should get to decide that. Don't forget, I didn't even know that this world existed until I was eleven. I mean, anywhere I've _always_ wanted to live would be a Muggle neighborhood."

"We can live in a Muggle neighborhood," James said.

"Really?"

"Sure. I don't see why not." He turned to Sirius. "Would the security stuff be an issue?"

"No, I don't think so. We'd use the same charms, right, Lils?"

"Password protection?" she asked with raised eyebrows. "That might make the neighbors a little suspicious."

Sirius grinned. "Just don't make friends with your neighbors."

"If you want to live in a Muggle neighborhood, we can make it work," James assured her. "Where were you thinking of?"

Lily smiled slightly. "When I was a little girl, I always wanted to live in London."

"Mum would love that," James grinned. "She'll want us to live next door to her!"

"You don't want to do that," Sirius said quickly. "That would put your mum in way too much danger."

"You're right," James said, his face falling slightly.

"Well, there are plenty of other neighborhoods in London," Lily said. "I can get in touch with a real estate agent . . . if you're sure that's what you want to do, James. Do you really want to move to Muggle London?"

"If it's what you want, then I want it, too," James assured her. "Let's start looking at houses, and we'll see what we can find."

Lily smiled widely. "Oh, this is going to be fun. We'll find a new house, and then we can start decorating it!"

"Sirius, are you _sure_ there's no way we can just stay here?" James asked in mock horror.

Sirius laughed. "Looks like you're in for it, Prongs. You're going to have to buy more new things for this house than you want to think about. I hope Hogwarts pays well!"

* * *

It took two months for Lily and James to agree on a house – a startling change from their previous house-hunting experiences. They enlisted Connie Stewart, a Muggle realtor, who spent quite a bit of time getting to know them and their expectations for a house and neighborhood. She then began ferrying them around London, showing them more houses than James ever knew existed.

"Where do they all _come_ from?" he asked as they looked at the tenth house in one day.

"People are selling them, James," Lily said quietly. "They need to move, so we get the chance to buy their houses."

"Not this one," James declared, looking at the ridiculously small kitchen and living room. "I think the flat I shared with the guys had a bigger kitchen than this."

"We'll look at the next one, then," Connie said brightly. "I'm sure we'll find just the one for you."

Lily and James looked at one another uncertainly. Maybe falling in love with two houses was all they'd be allowed in their lifetime. They were beginning to wonder if they'd ever find the perfect house again.

* * *

They found the house by accident.

They had decided to go for a drive one evening, just to see what the neighborhoods they had seen during the day looked like as darkness was falling. With Harry strapped securely into his car seat, they set off around London in the car that their friends had given them as an engagement gift.

They began by going around the neighborhoods they had already seen with Connie. Lily was pleased to see that children were still outside playing, although their games were reluctantly breaking up as parents called their little ones home for the night.

"It looks as though Harry will have plenty of neighborhood friends if we decide to live around here," she commented.

James nodded, thinking of his own childhood best friend from his neighborhood. "It might be tough on him to leave them for Hogwarts, though."

"Oh," Lily said softly. "It was difficult to leave Danny, wasn't it?"

"Yes," James replied. "At the time, I was sure I was going to be upset about it forever. But then I actually got to Hogwarts, and met Sirius, Remus and Peter, and . . . I never exactly _forgot_ Danny, but I didn't think about him as much as time went on. We're still friends, of course, but things aren't like they were when we were little."

"That's true of any relationship," Lily said. "Look at how things ended up between Petunia and I. We used to be close when we were little, but you'd never know it now. Do you realize that I've never even met my own sister's child? I have a nephew out there somewhere who most likely doesn't even know that I exist."

James looked sideways at her. "Well, we could always start looking for houses around her. Wouldn't she just love that?"

Lily laughed out loud at the thought. "I think she might find a way to have us run out of the neighborhood if we even tried!"

James laughed with her, then glanced around. "Um, Lil? Do you know where we are?"

Lily slowed the car until it was barely moving. While they had been talking, she had stopped paying attention to where she was driving. "Er . . . no, I don't."

"So we're lost?"

"Yeah, that would pretty much be it."

"Oh, boy."

"Okay, we can't panic," Lily said slowly. "We just have to try to retrace our path to find our way back to something we remember."

"Okay," James agreed. "Let's do that, then."

Lily continued down the street they were on, which ended in a cul-de-sac. As she swung the car around the circle to begin retracing their route, James jumped in his seat.

"Stop!" he yelled.

"What?" Lily cried as she slammed on the brakes, fearing she was about to run over someone's beloved pet. "What's wrong?"

"Do you see that?"

"See what?" she exclaimed, scanning the street and surrounding yards for a small animal.

"That house!"

Lily looked at where James was pointing, and her breath caught in her throat. The most gorgeous house she had ever seen was right in front of them with a "for sale" sign in its front yard.

"James, it's perfect," she breathed, taking in the huge bay windows and sweeping front porch.

"Okay, let's not go too far," he said calmly. "It's great from the outside, but we need to see the inside before we get too excited."

"Write down the address," she said. "We have to make Connie show us this house!"

* * *

Two weeks later, they were signing the papers that granted them ownership of the house. Once it was all over, and the house was theirs, Lily began jumping up and down.

"I can't believe we found it!" she cried. "Oh, James, this place is _wonderful_! Let's never leave it!"

"We'll do our best," he smiled, carrying Harry around the first floor. "Which room do you want for his? I'm going to go show it to him."

"Let's go look together," she replied.

As they walked through the house, Lily began talking quickly, outlining her plans for each room. James remained silent as he listened to her, his eyes growing bigger and bigger with each sentence she spoke.

"Those are some serious projects you're talking about," he said. "Are you sure you're going to be able to get it all done?"

She rolled her eyes. "James, all I do with my days is to take care of Harry. How will I _not_ be able to get it all done?"

"Fair point," he grinned. He leaned over to kiss her. "And I know that you can do anything you set your mind to – including convincing me that this huge decorating project is a good idea."

"Good," she said with a mischievous grin, "then you won't be surprised when I tell you that you're going to have Harry's room painted before we move in the furniture."

* * *

With Sirius's help, James had all of Lily's painting projects done before they moved into their new house. Harry's room, the first one they had completed, was done in rich reds and golds. Lily had wanted it done in pastel blues and greens, but James and Sirius had both refused.

"He needs to get used to living in Gryffindor colors now," Sirius said as he dipped his roller into the paint. "Besides, it's going to make his room nicer."

"You both seem pretty sure that we have a little Gryffindor here," Lily grinned.

"He'll be a Gryffindor," James nodded with a grin of his own. "With us for parents and the constant influence of our friends, how does he have a choice? It's his destiny."

"Could we try for a little less melodrama, please?" Lily laughed. "I'm just concerned that these aren't the best colors for a nursery."

Sirius held his roller up threateningly. "Little Flower, you are making me paint this room without magic because you're afraid of what your Muggle neighbors might see. If you're going to criticize our color choices, you're going to be wearing them."

"Point taken," Lily laughed as she left the room.

Without Lily to distract them, James and Sirius were easily done with the painting before moving day. Both Sirius and Olivia came to help them move in, eager to assist their friends with their adjustment to their new living quarters.

"You're not going to make us move this furniture using actual muscle power again, are you?" Sirius asked as he entered the house carrying a floor lamp.

"Sirius, we live in a Muggle neighborhood!" Lily exclaimed.

"Yeah – that's why I actually carried this in," Sirius grinned. "Where do you want it?"

"Living room," she replied, pointing him in the right direction. "And I don't want to see that floating!"

"Yes, ma'am," Sirius laughed as he disappeared into the house.

James came into the house carrying a large box marked "kitchen." "Where's Sirius?" he asked.

"He just took a lamp into the living room," Lily replied, putting Harry into his play pen.

"Okay. I need him to help me bring the couch in."

Lily grinned, thankful that James hadn't suggested levitating the couch into the house. "I'm going to go grab some boxes." She glanced back at the baby. "If you see the boxes of Harry's toys, grab his lion for him. I don't know how long he's going to handle sitting in there without someone to play with."

James grinned, and blew the baby a kiss. "Hang in there, champ. We'll have your stuff all sorted out in no time." He shifted the box in his arms, and walked back into the house. "Sirius! We have a couch to move!"

Lily stepped outside, where Olivia was taking a lamp out of their moving truck. She looked up with a smile as Lily appeared.

"You know, I'm starting to wonder about those guys. They went inside and I haven't seen them again!"

Lily laughed. "James was going to find Sirius so they could bring the couch in."

Olivia made a face. "That sounds like a project." She glanced around the street. "This was much easier last time, wasn't it?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "You're as bad as Sirius."

Olivia looked at her in mock shock. "That was harsh, Lils. There was no need to go that far."

Lily giggled. "I think you'll survive the pain."

"I'll need time and therapy to get over it," Olivia conceded.

James and Sirius came out of the house, laughing over something. They crossed the yard quickly, pushing up their sleeves as they came.

"I thought you two were lost," Olivia said as she lifted the lamp into her arms.

"We were just mentally preparing for lifting this couch," Sirius replied, giving her a wink. "Ready, Prongs?"

"Let's go," James said.

They jumped into the truck. Olivia watched for a moment, then took the lamp up to the house.

"Hey, Liv!" Sirius called from inside the moving truck.

"She went inside," Lily offered.

"Lils, you're still here," Sirius said with his back to her. "Good – give me some direction here."

"Well, start walking back," Lily began.

With Lily directing, the two men managed to get the couch out of the moving truck and up to the front door. The door was their first obstacle; the couch had to be turned awkwardly to get it into the house. Sirius looked at Lily, then reached down for his wand.

"_No_," Lily said firmly. "You can do it without any extra . . . help."

"I hate you, Little Flower."

"No, you don't," she grinned. "You love me, and you know it."

Once the couch was arranged the way that Lily wanted, they all made their way back outside to bring in more things. Sirius grabbed Harry's crib, which had been collapsed for the journey, James took two kitchen chairs, and the girls picked up more boxes.

"Harry's room," Olivia muttered, reading the side of the box as she entered the house.

"First bedroom on the right at the top of the stairs," Lily directed.

"Got it," Olivia replied, starting up the steps.

Lily took the box that she had grabbed into the living room, then returned outside to grab something else. James came with her, taking the last two kitchen chairs from the truck. They took those items inside and came out again, still without Sirius and Olivia.

"What happened to our unpaid laborers?" James asked with a grin.

"They didn't get lost, did they?" Lily asked. "I told Olivia which room was Harry's."

"They're probably trying to set up the crib," James replied. "You know how hard that is."

"I'll go help them," Lily said. "I'll be back with our assistants in tow."

"Good," James said as he looked at the kitchen table. "I know I'm going to need Sirius's help for this one."

Lily grinned, and went back inside with another of Harry's boxes in her arms. She went up the steps, and turned to go into Harry's room.

The sight that met her eyes made her stop short; she nearly dropped the box. Sirius and Olivia were still in the nursery, kissing very enthusiastically. Sirius's hands were on Olivia's waist; as Lily watched, he pulled her even closer to him. Olivia's fingers were tangled in his hair.

Lily cleared her throat, and set the box down. Sirius and Olivia jumped apart, and looked at her with the guilty expressions of schoolchildren.

"Caught in the act," Lily grinned. "My God, you guys! When did you get back together?"

"A few months ago," Sirius admitted with a sheepish grin.

"And you didn't tell me?" Lily cried. "Oh, that's just mean!"

"We didn't want anyone to know," Olivia said quickly. "We got together right after Laura . . . We thought it would be a bit much for Remus to have to know that we were back together right after he . . ."

"I understand," Lily said, holding up her hand to stop them. "But you could have told _me_! Guys! I'm so happy for you!"

She bounded across the room, and pulled them both into tight embraces. When she released them, she couldn't stop grinning.

"Are you going to stay together this time?"

They glanced at one another with silly smiles.

"I think so," Olivia said.

"I'm in it for the long haul," Sirius agreed.

Lily gave a shriek of excitement, and hugged them again.

* * *

"I think we need to have a housewarming party," Lily said as she stood at the stove, making fried eggs for breakfast.

"That sounds like fun," James agreed. "Do you think everyone will come?"

"They'd better," Lily grinned. "I want to show off this house!"

An owl swooped through the open kitchen window, and landed on the table. Harry giggled at the sight, and began babbling, pointing at the owl.

"He's bringing the mail," James informed the baby as he took the letter from the bird. "See? Mummy and Daddy have a letter from . . ." He turned it over in his hands. "Looks like Aunt Dana's writing. What do you think she has to say?"

The owl took off again, and Harry gave a shriek, pointing at it. He was clearly more interested in the bird than his father's commentary about the mail.

"Did you say that's from Dana?" Lily asked as she took the eggs from the pan to a plate.

"Yes," James replied as he opened the letter.

Lily gasped. "Did she have the baby?"

James grinned as a letter and a picture fell into his hands. "Unless she's taken to sending us pictures of random newborns, I'd say so!"

"Look at you!" Lily exclaimed, picking up the picture. As she watched, the baby stretched and yawned. "You are the sweetest thing! Harry, look at Aunt Dana's little baby!"

"That's your future wife, Harry," James grinned, looking up from the letter. "Do you think she's pretty?"

Harry tried to grab the picture from Lily's hands. She giggled.

"I think he does." She leaned over James's shoulder to read the letter. "What did she name her?"

James swallowed. "Laura Kathleen," he said.

Lily felt tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. "Laura Kathleen?" she repeated.

"Yes."

"That's beautiful," Lily whispered hoarsely. "Beautiful."

* * *

_Dear Remus,_

_I'm writing to tell you that I'm a mother! My daughter was born last night! She's absolutely beautiful – well, you can see for yourself in the pictures._

_I've chosen to name her for two of the sweetest, most genuine people I've ever known – two people who, through no fault of their own, were only given a short time to live their lives. She's Laura Kathleen, Remus, and I hope that she can live up to the legacies that those two wonderful women left behind. I hope that by giving her their names, I can help her to become as good of a person as they both were._

_I know that I should have asked you before I just gave her that name, but I sort of wanted it to be a surprise. I had been thinking about naming her Kathleen ever since I found out that I was pregnant, but I actually decided on Laura Kathleen the day that Olivia wrote to tell me that our Laura had died. I know that I should have told you when we discussed baby names that day, but I just couldn't. Aside from the surprise, I was a bit afraid that you'd say no. Please don't be upset, Remus. I did this to honor Laura's memory, and so that a little bit of her could live on forever._

_If you'd like, I can send you more pictures. She really is a sweet little girl. I know you'll love her. I can't wait for you to meet her. _

_Take care of yourself. You're always in my thoughts and prayers._

_Love, _

_Dana_

Remus sighed, and put the letter aside. He held the picture in both hands, watching as the small baby sucked on her fist. He smiled in spite of himself. She really was cute.

"Hello? Remus?"

Remus put the picture down on the table with the letter. "I'm in the kitchen, Lily!"

Lily came in from the living room with a smile. "Hi," she said.

"Hi," he replied. "No Harry today?"

"Harry's with Grandma for the afternoon," Lily smiled. "I wanted to come and see you before I have to go pick him up." She sat down across from him at the table. "Have you heard Dana's news?"

Remus lifted the letter and picture off the table. "Just read it."

Lily looked at him, unable to form her thoughts into coherent sentences. Remus seemed to understand the questions in her eyes.

"It's sort of tough," he said. "But she's right – it's a beautiful name. With ladies like Laura and Kathleen as her namesakes, I'm sure this baby will be a wonderful person."

"And you're okay with it?"

Remus sighed, and stood up, pacing away from Lily. He paused to look out the window.

"I think it's exactly what I needed."

Lily frowned, slightly puzzled. "What you needed?"

"Yes." He sighed again, and turned back to face her. "Ever since Laura died, I've forgotten to live. I've just been in this house, accepting visitors but never talking to them, watching others but never joining them . . . I've been doing exactly what Laura was afraid I would. That's why she made me promise to go on with my life – she knew I wouldn't on my own." He paused, and drew a deep breath. "But this baby – this little Laura – is a symbol of the future. She's a sign that life will go on, and that Laura can live on through her family and all of us. She'll only truly be gone if we all forget her. Dana has found a way to make sure that that never happens."

Lily swallowed hard. "We'll never forget her."

"No," Remus said, "and now we never can." He ran his hands over his face. "I do need to get on with my life, though."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't keep living in the past like this. I need to . . . change some things. I need to find my own place in the world."

"What are you saying?" Lily asked with concern.

"I'm going to find a new place to live," Remus declared. "I'll stay in the UK," he added, seeing the fear in Lily's eyes. "I just can't stay here in this house anymore. I can't be surrounded by all these memories of her all the time. I can't move on if I'm constantly reminded of the past."

"Just don't try to go to far too fast, Remus," Lily said softly.

Remus smiled, and put his hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, Lily. I'm not going to run away from all of you. I'll always be your friend."


	53. A Year of Success

A/N: I'm sorry about the lack of James/Lily straight-up romance recently! Unfortunately, they have fallen into the trap of most new parents . . . they're obsessed with their child! They'll get out a little in this chapter!

Thanks for reading and reviewing! I hope you like this!

**Anna: **You know, I actually really planned out when Snape started teaching to tally with the book. I was thinking that he told Umbridge he had taught 16 years, which is why I had him start the year before Harry was born. Maybe I read wrong! I'll go check it.

**maraudergirl7:** Sirius and Olivia wanted to keep it under wraps, so Sirius never told James what happened between them. Because James is far more discrete than I could ever hope to be, he didn't ask – he assumed that Olivia turned him down since Sirius didn't say anything. So, Lily didn't know anything, either. All this happened off-screen!

**obsessedwithharrypotter:** No, they're in Muggle London now. Godric's Hollow will be their last move.

**Panter28:** I'm not quite brave enough to attempt anything about Harry's years at Hogwarts. I'm thinking of doing something with him post-graduation so that he can meet all his parents' friends – the ones I've created for them, anyway!

Happy birthday, MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus!

I don't own Harry Potter.

A Year of Success

"I'm home!"

"Hi, James," Lily smiled, turning her face up to kiss her husband. "How was the last day of school?"

"About the same as usual," he smiled. "The seventh years were a mix of sadness and excitement and the little ones couldn't wait to get home to their parents."

"Same old, same old, huh?" Lily grinned. "So, is Dumbledore taking you back next year?"

"Of course," James replied archly. "I _am_ the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher he had this year."

"You're also the only one," Lily giggled.

He grinned, then turned to face Harry, who was sitting on the floor, playing with his favorite lion. "How are you, champ? What's that you have there?"

"Lion," Harry replied clearly.

James and Lily both stopped short, and turned to stare at the baby.

"What did you say, Harry?" Lily asked.

"Lion," Harry repeated, smacking the toy against the floor.

"Did he just . . .?" James couldn't finish his statement.

"He did," Lily whispered in wonder. "Say it again, Harry."

"Lion," he said again, grinning up at them. "Lion, lion, lion."

"Harry!" James exclaimed, scooping the baby up into his arms. "Congratulations! That was your first real word!"

Harry laughed as James swung him around. "Lion!" he said again.

"Can you try saying Daddy?" James asked.

"Dada," Harry said.

"Still not quite," James laughed. "But you'll get it soon. How about Mummy?"

"Mama."

"Close enough," Lily said, leaning over to kiss her baby's cheek.

James turned to Lily with a grin. "Wait until Sirius hears that Harry's first word was 'lion.' You know how he is about Harry being a Gryffindor. He'll be thrilled!"

Lily laughed with sheer joy. "I can't believe he can talk now! Just you wait – now that he's started, we'll never be able to get him quiet again!"

* * *

"Is anyone home?"

"Mum," James said in surprise, going into the living room to greet his mother. "Where did you come from?"

"My house."

James hugged her and kissed her cheek. "You know what I mean. I don't remember us talking about a visit tonight."

"What, I'm not allowed to come and visit my son and his family?"

James smiled, shaking his head. "Are you trying to make me feel bad?"

"Not at all, darling," she smiled. "Where are Lily and the baby?"

"Right here," Lily said, entering the room with a sleepy-looking Harry in her arms. "Harry just woke up from his afternoon nap."

"So I see," Mrs. Potter smiled, reaching out to take the baby.

Lily handed him over and grinned as her mother-in-law attempted to straighten the baby's hair. "You're not going to win that one."

Mrs. Potter shook her head. "Just like his father," she smiled. She kissed the baby's cheek. "Did you have a nice nap, sweetheart?"

Harry smiled happily. "Gam," he said, patting her cheeks.

She smiled and tickled him. "Have you missed Grandma, Harry?"

"Gam," he said again, laughing.

"Will you stay for dinner?" Lily asked, already trying to remember what she had in the kitchen for their evening meal. She and James had been planning to take Harry out for dinner.

"Only if the planning takes us that long," Mrs. Potter smiled.

"Planning?" James asked with a frown. "What are we planning?"

"Why, Harry's birthday party, of course!"

"His birthday is a month away," James laughed. "We have plenty of time to plan a party for him."

Mrs. Potter shook her head. "This is his _first_ birthday, James. The celebration is going to take quite some time to plan." She took a seat and settled the baby in her lap. "Now, I want to have the party at my house."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" James asked. "We don't want to draw any unnecessary attention to you, Mum."

"Don't be silly," she said. "If I want to host my grandson's party, I will host it." She gave them a grin. "Besides, I'm sure we'll invite enough Order members that we'll be extremely protected."

"She has a point with that, James," Lily smiled. "Almost everyone we know is in the Order."

"All right," James conceded. "What are you thinking of doing, Mum?"

"Well, I've certainly started thinking about it," she smiled. "I want to make sure that this is a party that Harry will never forget!"

"Mum, he's going to be a year old," James laughed. "Believe me, I don't remember a thing about my first birthday party."

"That's because it wasn't as big as Harry's will be," she replied. "Lily, do you still have those quills you used for interviews?"

"Yes," Lily replied, raising her eyebrows.

"Can we use one? I want to record what we say as we discuss the plans."

"Sure," Lily said. She waved her wand. "_Accio interviewing quill and parchment_!"

A quill and parchment zoomed toward her; she caught them and tapped the quill with her wand. Once everything was ready, she nodded at her mother-in-law.

"All right, let's start planning," Mrs. Potter said cheerfully.

* * *

By the time his mother left that night, James was exhausted. He looked up at Lily when she came into the living room, having just put Harry to bed.

"Tell me we never have to go through that again," he moaned.

Lily laughed. "I think we're going to go through that quite a few times between now and Harry's birthday. You'd better build up your stamina."

James shook his head. "The woman has gone insane."

"I don't think it's that odd," Lily offered as she crossed to sit with him on the couch. "Look at how much effort she puts into Christmas at her house. It makes sense that she'd be obsessed with her grandchild's first birthday."

"Well, I guess our plans for a small party are out," James sighed as Lily curled up against him. He began playing with her hair, twisting the red strands around his fingers. "I hope Harry likes to be the center of attention."

"He never has a chance to be anything but the center of attention," Lily smiled. "He _is_ our only child, you know."

"We're going to have to go shopping for him," James commented, still playing with Lily's hair. "What do you think he'd like?"

"I don't know," Lily replied, "but this sounds like an excellent excuse for us to go play in some toy stores!"

James grinned. "When do you want to go?"

"Whenever we can find someone to stay with him," Lily replied. "Should we ask your mum?"

"No, she'll just get too excited. It'll probably send her into more party plans," James laughed. "Why don't we see if Godfather Sirius can spare the time? He hasn't watched Harry in ages."

"Good idea," Lily smiled. "He'll be so excited to spend time with him."

"Sirius will be excited to spend time with Harry, or the other way around?"

"Both," Lily grinned.

* * *

In the end, both Sirius and Olivia decided to come to spend the evening with Harry while James and Lily went out for dinner and then shopping for Harry's birthday presents. When they arrived, Harry was sitting the middle of the living room floor, laughing as his toy Snitch zoomed around his head. He reached up to grab it, then released it again.

"Whoa," Sirius grinned as he watched. "I think you have a Seeker on your hands, James."

James grinned as he came into the living room carrying his shoes. "Yeah, he has really good coordination. I can't wait to teach him to fly."

"Not until he's at least five, James," Lily said. "You promised."

"I know," James sighed. "So much for my plan to buy him a broomstick for his birthday."

"Not this year," Lily said. She picked the baby up, and held him close. "What do you want for your birthday, Harry?"

"Lion!" he exclaimed, giggling.

"You already have a lion," Lily replied. "Isn't there anything else you'd like?"

Harry pointed at Sirius. "Doggie!"

Lily sighed. "Okay, maybe Uncle Sirius will turn into a doggie for you now."

"Anything to please my fans," Sirius replied.

He promptly transformed, and Harry squealed with pleasure. The baby leaned out of Lily's arms, trying to touch Sirius's fur. Lily bent down so that he could pet his godfather. Harry buried his hands in Sirius's fur.

"Doggie Siri, doggie Siri," Harry giggled.

"Okay, Sirius, transform back," Olivia laughed. "This is getting weird."

Sirius transformed again, and reached out to take Harry from Lily. "He's really picking up a lot of words, isn't he?"

"Oh, yes," Lily replied. "He's becoming quite the little chatterbox."

Harry looked from Sirius to Olivia. "Livie, Livie," he chanted.

"Hi, Harry," she said, reaching out to touch his hand. "Are you ready to have fun with Uncle Sirius and me tonight?"

"Fun, fun."

"He needs to stop this repetitiveness," Sirius laughed.

"Yeah, you can work on that while we're gone," James grinned. "We'll probably be back around ten or so."

"Harry should go to bed at eight, so you'll have a couple of hours of peace," Lily grinned. "He's already had dinner, but he can have a snack if he wants later. There's some grapes already cut up in a bowl for him in the fridge."

"Sounds great," Sirius said. "You don't have anything to worry about."

"I know," Lily smiled. "We trust you. Have fun." She kissed Harry's cheek. "Bye-bye, sweetheart. You be good for Uncle Sirius and Auntie Olivia."

"Bye, champ," James grinned, kissing Harry. "We'll see you in the morning."

"Daddy," Harry whimpered, realizing that his parents were about to leave him. "Mummy."

James's face broke into a beaming smile. "About time!" he exclaimed. "He said them both, Lil!"

"Good for you, Harry!" Lily exclaimed. She kissed him again. "Now Mummy and Daddy will have to buy you an extra present."

"You should have offered him a present as incentive ages ago. He might have been saying them for months by now," Sirius laughed. He bounced the baby in his arms. "Say bye-bye to Mummy and Daddy, Harry."

"Mummy?" Harry said again, his eyes filling with tears. "Daddy?"

"We're going to buy you presents, love," Lily said, her resolve to leave her son melting at the sight of his tears. "We'll be home soon."

"Bye, Harry," James said, steering Lily toward the door. "Be good!"

They left, and Harry's eyes overflowed. He began to screaming, leaning out of Sirius's arms, stretching his own little arms toward the door.

"Oh, boy," Sirius said. "What do we do now?"

* * *

"I feel awful," Lily said as they got into the car. "Did you see his little lips quivering?"

"He'll be fine," James said confidently. "Sirius and Olivia will take good care of him."

"Yeah, I know they will, but still . . ."

"Lil, don't worry!" James said. "We've left him alone with Sirius and Olivia before, and we've left him with just Sirius even more often. He knows them and he loves them. He's just freaked out because we left. I'm sure he'll be fine in a few minutes."

"Can you use your mirror to check on him? You could just ask Sirius how he is, and then we won't have to worry about him anymore."

"No," James said. "Then Harry will just see my face in the mirror and think that we're back. It's better to make a clean break."

Lily turned the key in the ignition. "I feel like a horrible mother."

"Well, stop it," James said. "You're a brilliant mother, and you've earned an evening out. So, let's go have dinner, then hit the stores."

Lily smiled. "All right. Where shall we go for dinner?"

"How about that Italian place we found last month?"

"Gino's?"

"That's the one!"

"All right," Lily agreed. "But this time make sure you save room for dessert! I really want to try that tiramisu."

"Okay," James laughed. "I'm on it."

* * *

"Look, Harry, your Snitch!"

Harry's eyes followed the golden ball, but his screams continued. Sirius gritted his teeth.

"I've tried every toy he has! What's wrong with him?"

"Come here, Harry," Olivia said, taking the baby in her arms. "Mummy and Daddy will be back, precious. And Uncle Sirius and Aunt Olivia are here with you now. You know us, Harry! We're all going to have so much fun . . ."

She cast her eyes around the room, searching for something to distract him. She dismissed all the toys Sirius had tried. Finally, she spotted his favorite book.

"Perfect!" She carried the baby over to the bookshelves, and settled on the floor with him in her lap. She took the book from the shelf, and began reading.

Harry's screams gradually stopped as he listened to the sound of Olivia's voice reading the story. By the time she had finished it, he was sitting quietly in her arms, his tear-streaked face and occasional hiccups the only signs of the temper tantrum that had just ended. He looked up at her with Lily's eyes.

"'Gain?" he asked.

Olivia smiled, and flipped back to the beginning of the book. Sirius watched as she read it through again. When the story had ended for a second time, Harry climbed off her lap. Both adults watched as he toddled across the room to his discarded stuffed lion.

"You're going to make a fantastic mother," Sirius blurted out before he could stop himself.

"Excuse me?" Olivia asked looking up in surprise.

Sirius blushed slightly. "I mean, when we have kids . . ." He trailed off, realizing what he had said.

Olivia's eyes began to glow. She had been the one to say that they should wait, but now, when it was so close, she wanted nothing more than to hear Sirius ask her the most vital of all questions. "Is that a proposal, Mr. Black? Because if it is, I'm ready to give you an answer!"

"Well," Sirius hesitated. He knew that he wanted to ask her. He had wanted to for ages now. It would appear that his moment had finally arrived. But he couldn't remember a word of the speech that James had taught him. Suddenly, he realized that it didn't matter. He wanted to marry her, and she clearly wasn't going to turn him down. The way he asked shouldn't be based on James's words; it should be the way he would ask it.

"Sirius?"

He drew a deep breath, and turned to her with a smile that hid his true nervousness. "Sure. What do you say, Olivia? Will you marry me and have my children?"

"Yes!" Olivia launched herself across the room and into his arms.

Harry looked on in bewilderment as his godfather and auntie clung to each other, laughing and kissing one another. After watching them for a moment, he turned back to his lion. Sometimes, adults didn't make any sense at all.

* * *

"Thank you," Lily smiled as they walked out of the restaurant hand in hand.

"For what?" James asked.

"That was a lovely dinner. I'm glad you convinced me to go out and leave Harry behind – even if he was screaming his head off."

James grinned, and squeezed her hand. "I'm sure Sirius would have contacted us if they were still having problems. He's a great guy, but I don't know how long he would have been able to handle a screaming baby without calling in reinforcements."

"He has Liv with him," Lily replied. "I'm sure they can handle it between the two of them."

"That's the spirit!" James grinned. "And I get some time alone with you."

"So we can shop for our son," Lily laughed. "James, when did we become that old married couple who's completely caught up in their child?"

"About a year ago," James replied. "I guess it happens to everyone."

"I guess."

"Maybe we'll have to make this a habit."

"What?"

"Asking Sirius and Olivia to babysit so that we can go out for some time on our own," James said. "Harry's older now, so we can leave him without being completely afraid of what might happen."

"Well, that's not exactly the same as it is with other babies," Lily said, her voice tight with concern. "Harry has some very special challenges to worry about."

"And who better to leave him with than two Aurors?" James asked. "We need to start taking some time just for us, Lil, or we're going to forget what it's like to be a couple." He grinned. "Or are you trying to say that you don't want to spend time with me?"

Lily stopped walking, and he stopped with her. Without saying a word, she put her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. The kiss lasted for several minutes, during which James put his hands on her hips to pull her closer.

"Wow," James whispered when she finally pulled away. "That was some kiss."

"Now do you think that I don't want to spend time with you?"

He grinned, settling his arms around her waist. "I think you may need to show me again."

* * *

Through amazing willpower, Sirius and Olivia managed to avoid discussing their new relationship until Harry had fallen asleep. They were sure to take him upstairs at promptly eight, and hurried his nightly routine as much as they dared. Fortunately, they had played with him quite a bit that evening, and he was tired enough to fall asleep almost at once. Once they had put him in his crib, Sirius waved his wand to cast the light that Harry always slept with over the room, then took Olivia's hand to lead her back down the stairs.

As soon as her feet hit the first floor, Olivia turned to Sirius with a beaming smile. "Is it real? Are we really getting married?"

"We're really getting married," Sirius grinned, pulling her close. "I love you, Olivia."

"And I love _you_," she replied, leaning up to kiss him. She pulled back and smiled up at him. "Can my nieces be part of the wedding?"

"Sure," Sirius replied, "anything you want." Then he stopped, his eyes darkening.

"What's wrong?" Olivia asked.

"Your family," he said simply. "How are they going to take this?"

"They'll be fine with it," Olivia replied. She tried to sound confident, but her eyes looked nervous. "They've adjusted to the idea that we're back together. This is the natural next step."

Sirius laughed hollowly. "I'm not so sure that they're completely okay with the idea of us as a couple. Your brother grabs his wand every time he sees me at work. I think he's just waiting for the perfect time to hex me."

Olivia giggled in spite of herself. "Just make sure you practice constant vigilance, then."

"Naturally," Sirius grinned. He kissed her again. "Tell me that it's all going to be all right."

"It's all going to be all right," Olivia murmured against his lips before kissing him again.

* * *

"Look at this!" James exclaimed, picking up a toy broomstick. "Let's get him this!"

"James, you promised that you wouldn't try to teach him to fly until he was older," Lily said, pushing their cart though the aisles of Diagon Alley's toy store.

"This isn't a real broom, Lil," James replied. "It's a toy. All it will let him do is hover a little bit off the ground. It'll help him get used to the feel before we get him the real thing. Then he'll have a better shot at staying on when he has his first real broomstick."

"Oh, all right," Lily conceded. "Let's get it."

James grinned, and tossed the toy into the cart. "He already has a Snitch . . . Should we get him this little Quaffle?"

"You're not planning to put goal posts in the backyard, are you?"

James's eyes lit up. "Do you think we could?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "We live in a _Muggle_ _neighborhood_."

"Yeah, but my dad and I used to play. There are ways."

Lily shook her head. "Let's go back out to Muggle London, James. I want to look at the stuffed animals in that store we passed on the way to the Leaky Cauldron."

James put the toy Quaffle into the cart, then followed Lily to the cash register. After paying for the wizard toys, they left Diagon Alley.

It was a short walk to the toy store Lily had spotted earlier. She led James straight to the stuff animals, and spent a few minutes just looking at them, slightly smiling. They were all cute. After much deliberation, she chose a stuffed owl, remembering how much Harry loved to watch the mail delivery owls. James grinned as she stroked its soft wings.

"Do you think he'll like this?"

"Definitely," James replied. "It's cute." He looked through the shelves of animals. "Can we get him this little stag?"

Lily looked at the darling stuffed toy in her husband's hands with a grin. "We have to! It's too perfect!"

"Where to next?" James asked.

"Let's get him some puzzles. I saw a display of them over there. We should make an attempt at educational gifts."

James rolled his eyes. "You're starting to sound like a Ravenclaw."

"He could be in Ravenclaw," Lily replied. "That would be okay."

"Second only to Gryffindor," James agreed. "Let's go."

* * *

It was after ten when they finally walked back through their front door. Sirius and Olivia were sitting together on the couch, making a list of some sort. They both looked up when James and Lily walked in.

"Just wait until you see what we've found for Harry!" Lily said excitedly. "We got some of the sweetest things. How was he while we were gone?"

"Fine," Olivia said, looking as though she was about to explode with excitement.

"Liv read him a book to get him to stop crying," Sirius added. He, too, had a different glow about him.

Lily looked at James with raised eyebrows. He shrugged.

"Okay, guys, out with it. What happened while we were gone?"

"We're getting married!" Olivia exclaimed in a rush.

"What?" Lily and James yelled together.

"Sirius just proposed while you were out! We're getting married!"

Lily grabbed Olivia into a tight embrace while James hugged Sirius with much back-slapping.

"Very romantic, Padfoot," he said with a shake of his head. "You asked her in my house?"

"The moment had arrived," Sirius grinned.

"Did you use my speech?"

"Nope," Sirius replied easily. "It was better this way, though. I had to be _me_, not you."

"Fair enough," James grinned. "I'm just glad you got it asked."

"Me, too," Sirius grinned as he watched Olivia hug Lily again. "I didn't have the ring with me, though. I'm going to take her back to my place to give it to her when we leave here."

"I'm sure there are other reasons for wanting to take her home with you," James laughed.

"Perhaps," Sirius laughed.

Lily finally released Olivia, and flung her arms around Sirius. James hugged Olivia, kissing her cheek.

"I always knew you were meant to be together," Lily whispered to Sirius. "I'm glad you finally realized it, too."

"So am I, Little Flower," Sirius grinned.

Once the congratulations were over, they all sat down at the table together. James found a bottle of champagne that he and Lily had left over from their housewarming party, and poured them each a glass.

"So, have you had time to make any plans?" Lily asked.

Sirius and Olivia glanced at one another.

"Actually, we have," Sirius said. "We'd like to ask you two . . . we'd be honored if you would serve as our best man and matron of honor."

"Of course!" James exclaimed.

"We'd love to!" Lily grinned.

"Thanks," Olivia grinned. "The wedding is going to be around Christmas, so keep your calendar clear."

"A Christmas wedding?" Lily smiled. "That will be beautiful."

Olivia nodded. "We're going to make this a wizard wedding, so everyone will be in robes."

"I'm trying to talk her into Gryffindor colors," Sirius added. "What do you think? Men in red and ladies in gold?"

"Actually, it would probably look good," Lily mused, trying to picture the robes in her mind's eye.

"Yeah, I think I might agree to it," Olivia said, looking at Sirius with starry eyes. "You'll just have to be very good."

He grinned, and kissed her cheek. "I'm always good."

"When are you going to tell everyone else?" James asked.

"Probably over the next few days," Sirius replied. "We want to make sure that everyone knows before Harry's party."

"I'm terrified to tell Moody," Olivia said with a smile. "You know how he is about dedication to the job."

"He'll get over it," Sirius replied. He laced his fingers through hers. "The important thing is that we're together, right?"

"Right," Olivia said, raising their joined hands to kiss his. "And this time, we're together forever."

* * *

Harry's birthday dawned bright and sunny. Clearly eager to get to celebrating, Harry woke his parents quite early with his screams.

"Looks like the birthday boy is up," James smiled as Lily raised herself up on one elbow.

"So it would appear," she grinned. "Shall we go together to tell him happy birthday?"

"Sure," James agreed.

They both pulled themselves out of bed, and walked down the hall to Harry's room. Lily opened the door, and they walked in together. Harry stopped screaming at the sight of them, a smile shining through his teary eyes.

"Good morning, Harry," Lily grinned as she lifted the baby from his crib. "Today is your birthday! Did you know that? Happy birthday, sweetheart!"

"Happy birthday, Harry!" James said, reaching out to take him from Lily. "What do you want for breakfast for your birthday?"

"Daddy!" Harry exclaimed.

Lily laughed. "Sorry, we can't let you eat Daddy for breakfast. How about some toast? Does that sound better?"

"Toat!" Harry attempted to repeat.

"Yes, toast," Lily said. "Can you change him, James, while I make breakfast?"

"Sure," James replied. "Okay, Harry, let's get you ready to face the day."

By the time James and Harry descended the steps, Lily had breakfast ready. She had place a brightly wrapped package beside the toast and cup of milk on the tray of Harry's highchair. His eyes lit up at the sight of it.

"This is for you, Harry," Lily said as James put the baby into the chair. "This is your very first birthday present. Open it, and tell Mummy and Daddy if you like it."

Harry grabbed the package, running his hands over the paper. James grinned.

"Here, Harry, let me help you a bit," he said, pulling one end of the paper loose. "Just grab that and tear."

Harry took the piece of paper that James offered him, and pulled it hesitantly. James looked at Lily.

"This might take all morning."

"Give him a chance, James," Lily admonished. "It's his first birthday present!"

After several minutes of hesitant paper-removal, Harry managed to unearth the stuffed stag that James had chosen for him. He squealed at the sight of it, and hugged it close.

"This is what Daddy looks like when he transforms," Lily informed the baby. "It's a stag. Isn't it soft?"

"Sof," Harry agreed.

"Do you want to give the stag a name?"

The baby was silent for several moments as though seriously considering the matter. "Stitch," he declared at last.

"Stitch?" Lily repeated with a frown.

James laughed. "I think he's trying to say 'Snitch.'"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Everything goes back to Quidditch with you, doesn't it?"

"Watch," James said. He grabbed his wand from the table. "_Accio Harry's Snitch_!"

The toy zoomed into the kitchen, and James caught it. He held it up before the baby.

"Stitch!" Harry yelled, reaching for the ball.

"Ha," James said, giving him the toy. "Told you so."

"I forgot that you were the expert in baby translation," Lily grinned. She moved to pick up the plates of food for herself and James, bringing them to the table. "What time do we have to be at your mother's?"

"Well, we _have_ to be there at two," James replied, "but I'd feel better if we got there early. If we wait until two, she's going to think that we're not coming – and we don't want to have to deal with a stressed-out Mum on a party day."

"Fair enough," Lily grinned. "Let's say we have to be there at one thirty, then."

"Perfect."

* * *

They did manage to arrive early for the party, although not as early as they had planned. They stepped outside onto the back patio, which had been specially decorated for the occasion. Streamers were hanging all around, and the many tables had been adorned with decorative cloths. Birthday gifts were stacked on a table along the side of the house. The fountain in the middle of the patio now spouted bubbles along with the water, which immediately captivated Harry's interest.

"Yook!" he cried, pointing.

"Yes, look at the bubbles," Lily smiled. "I think Grandma made the fountain do that especially for your birthday, Harry."

"Gam?" he asked.

"She'll be out in a minute," James assured him. "Hetty just went to tell her that we're here."

"There you are!" Mrs. Potter came out onto the patio with a beaming smile, already reaching out to take Harry from his father's arms.

"Gam!" Harry said with a smile, stretching his arms out to her.

"Happy birthday, Harry!" she exclaimed, cuddling the baby close and kissing his chubby cheeks. "Just wait until you see the presents Grandma has for you!"

"I hope you didn't go overboard, Mum," James said. "He will have other birthdays, you know."

"But none will be his first," she smiled. "Just let me have my fun, James, and stop worrying!"

James shook his head. "We just don't want to spoil him, that's all."

"I'm his grandmother! It's my job to spoil him!"

They were saved from responding by the arrival of other guests. Harry began to make the rounds, being passed from one pair of arms to the next. As more guests arrived, the stack of presents for the baby grew alarmingly. Lily looked at it with big eyes, then hurried to find James. He was talking to Remus, who, Lily thought, looked better than he had the last time she had seen him.

"Hi, Remus," she smiled.

"Hi, Lils," he replied, leaning over to kiss her cheek. "How are you?"

"Fine," she smiled. "You look good."

"Thanks," he said, smiling at her. "I was just telling James that I found a house."

"Really? Where?"

"It's actually way out in the country," Remus replied. "It's very isolated, but that's what I was looking for. I want something out of the way, something where I can hear myself think."

"Something where he can become a recluse," James laughed. "We're going to have to work harder to make sure that Remus stays a functioning member of society."

Lily shook her head. "When do you move?"

"In about a month," Remus replied. "You'll come and visit me, won't you?"

"Of course," Lily smiled. "I don't think Harry would get over it if we didn't."

Remus smiled. "Speaking of, I have yet to see the birthday boy."

"He was with Hagrid the last time I saw him," Lily offered.

They all turned to see Hagrid bouncing Harry on his knees. Harry shrieked with laughter, his hair flying with the force of the Hagrid's bouncing.

"I hope he doesn't end up sick," Lily said with concern.

"I'll go rescue him," Remus offered. "We'll talk later, all right?"

"Sounds good," Lily smiled.

"Good turn out for a baby, don't you think?" James said as Remus walked away.

"Have you seen the amount of presents he's got?" Lily squeaked.

"I've been avoiding looking," James said, making a face.

"James, it's like a _mountain_ of packages! Where are we going to put them all?"

"We'll find a place," James said confidently. "We have a big house, and as I recall, you're quite good as charms – maybe you can shrink them all down or something."

Lily laughed. "It may come to that."

"Could we have everyone's attention, please?"

Lily and James both turned to see Sirius and Olivia in the middle of the crowd. They were both holding glasses of the punch that Hetty had been serving.

"Uh-oh," James smiled. "Looks like they're going to make their grand announcement."

"Are you going to speak?"

"Yeah, I had planned to," James replied. "I'm saving the best stuff for my wedding speech, of course, but I have to wish them well here, too."

As the noise died down, Sirius took Olivia's hand in his. "Olivia and I have something we wanted to share with all of you. I know quite a few of you know already, and I do feel bad for doing this at my godson's birthday party, but it's the only time we're all going to be together like this . . ."

"You're going on like Potter!" Adam yelled. "Get on with it, Sirius!"

Sirius grinned. "Fair enough. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, the big news is that Olivia and I are getting married!"

A flurry of congratulations went up around them. Lily noticed that Moody did not have the same excited expression as the majority of the other guests. He shook his head as he watched two of his best Aurors announce their engagement.

Once the commotion died down again, James stepped up next to his friends.

"Does everyone have a drink?" he asked.

A murmur of assent went through the guests. James grinned.

"Good. Now, if Sirius is going to use my son's birthday party as his forum for announcing his engagement, then he should know that I'm going to use this opportunity to give a preview of my best man speech at their wedding."

He grinned and winked at the happy couple. "Sirius and Olivia have both been a huge part of my life ever since we first started at Hogwarts. During our time at school, Olivia was always my partner in crime in Quidditch, and was the toughest captain I've ever had the pleasure to fly with. Sirius was my partner in crime in everything else, and was one of the greatest marauding masterminds I've ever had the privilege to work with."

Laughter rippled through the crowd. Lily saw both McGonagall and Dumbledore nodding at James's words.

"Since I was eleven years old, Sirius has been my best friend. He has stood by me when I needed support, he has given me advice when I couldn't find the answers, and he has given me a good beating when I deserved it. He has been my brother ever since our first day at Hogwarts. And, Olivia, as Sirius said to Lily when we were married, this marriage will make you my sister. Welcome to our family."

Olivia smiled, and brushed away a tear that was threatening to fall.

"These two have been with me through so much, and they've been with one another through so much more," James continued. "They've had their ups and downs in life and their relationship, but they have never, never stopped loving one another. The fact that they have decided to make a permanent commitment to one another stands as evidence of that love.

"Sirius, Olivia, you are two of my best friends, and I wish you all the happiness in the world. I ask all of you here to raise your glasses with me to toast Sirius and Olivia. May your love be constant and unfailing."

Everyone drank to Sirius and Olivia, who were both struggling with tears. As James stepped aside, Olivia stopped him, throwing her arms around his neck. James held her for a moment, and kissed her cheek. When she released him, Sirius pulled him into a brotherly embrace.

"Thanks, James," Sirius said quietly as they pulled apart. "I just have one question on all of what you said."

"Shoot."

Sirius grinned. "Now what are you going to use for your material at the wedding?"

James laughed. "Sirius, don't you know me well enough by now to know that that's an unnecessary question? There are always more speeches where that came from!"

* * *

Harry opened a few presents at a time throughout the day. Despite everyone wanting him to open them all at once, Lily refused, saying that he would get bored with it. He delighted his guests by playing with each new toy and turning the pages of each new book as soon as the wrapping paper fell away from them. He spent the most time playing with Sirius's gift to him, a stuffed black dog that was almost an exact replica of Sirius's Animagus form. Lily and James were also delighted with it; James commented that Harry still needed a rat and a werewolf before he would have a complete collection.

Midway through the party, Mrs. Potter brought out the cake that she and Hetty had made for the celebration. It was a gorgeous pastry, decorated with green trim that exactly matched the green of Harry's eyes.

"How did you manage to duplicate his eyes like that?" Lily asked, clearly impressed.

"Magic," Mrs. Potter said with a laugh.

They sang "Happy Birthday" to the baby, and he blew out the lone candle on his cake. Mrs. Potter then waved her wand to set the cake cutting itself, and Hetty began serving tea and coffee.

"Could I have everyone's attention?"

All eyes turned to Dumbledore, who had stepped to the middle of the patio. An instant hush fell over the crowd.

"I know we have already had one announcement today, but I feel it is fitting for the birthday boy to enjoy his own special toast," he smiled.

"Toat!" Harry yelled.

A ripple of laughter ran through the crowd. Dumbledore himself chuckled.

"Yes, sir, your very own toast," he smiled. "Never did I dream when I appointed James and Lily Head Boy and Girl that they would fall in love. Never did I imagine that in a few years' time I would be attending their child's first birthday party. But now, as I look at Harry, I am so glad that it happened like this.

"Harry Potter is a very special little boy. He is special for many reasons, but perhaps the greatest of all is because he has so many people who love and care about him. Even during his one year of life, he has managed to touch all our lives with his own special magic – the magic that all of very young possess. If he did nothing else with his life, it could be called a success.

"But he has so much more to do. Harry has already been a blessing to his parents, and to all of us here. But the day may come when he will be considered a blessing to the world."

Dumbledore looked at James and Lily as he spoke, and Lily's breath caught in her throat. She reached down for James's hand. Their fingers intertwined as they clung to one another. The headmaster then turned his penetrating gaze on the baby, who was smashing his hands into the piece of cake that his grandmother had given him.

"Happy birthday, Harry Potter. I know that you have many birthday gifts here, but please remember that the greatest gift you have today is the love of all those present – my love included. May you grow up always knowing that love, always feeling the support of your family and friends. And may you know many happy returns of this day."

Several people present were wiping their eyes at the end of Dumbledore's speech. Hagrid cleared his throat loudly, and blinked rapidly.

"Happy birthday, Harry!" he called, raising his glass.

His voice was followed by many others as others raised their own glasses.

"Happy birthday, Harry!"


	54. The Decision

A/N: Well, reality has slapped me in the face, and it hurt! I'm going to have to revise my "deadline" for the end of the story. The chances of me being done before Book 6 comes out are slim. I still have six chapters and an epilogue to go, and they're all going to be quite long. I've been trying so hard to meet my schedule, but I'm currently three chapters behind where I wanted to be. I really just want to be happy with my chapters before I post them. So, this story will be done as soon as I can get it finished – but don't be surprised if that takes until after Book 6 is published. I'm so, so sorry!

**RaysOfHope:** No computer? That's horrible! Print away!

**maraudergirl7:** Sorry, it's going to end the way it does in canon. It's killing me, too!

I don't own Harry Potter.

The Decision

"What would you like to do today, Harry?" Lily asked as she cleaned up the kitchen after breakfast. "Would you like to go to the park?"

"Park!" Harry repeated enthusiastically. "Daddy, too?"

"No, Daddy can't come," Lily said, waving her wand to put away the last of the dishes. "He had to go to work today. He has to teach his students."

Harry's face fell. "No Daddy?"

"Daddy will be back in time for dinner," Lily assured him. "Don't you remember what it's like when Daddy goes to work?"

Harry looked at her blankly. "Daddy work?"

"Yes, Daddy works," Lily grinned. "That's how we get money to buy you new toys."

"Toy!"

"No, no new toys today, either," Lily laughed. She picked the baby up out of his highchair. "So, shall we to go the park, then?"

"Park!" Harry agreed.

"All right, let's go find your shoes."

Lily carried the baby upstairs to his bedroom, where she deposited him on the floor. He was busy pulling all the toys out of his toy box and she was searching for his shoes when she heard a pop downstairs.

"Daddy can't be home already," she said, fear already creeping into her heart. She took her wand from her pocket and picked up Harry again. "Let's go see who's downstairs, shall we?"

Harry seemed to recognize the importance of the situation; he did not respond to his mother's comment. He remained quiet as she moved silently down the stairs with him on one arm and her wand gripped in her other hand.

"There you are! I was beginning to think that you weren't home."

Lily jumped as Olivia turned to smile at her. "My God, Liv! You nearly scared me to death! I thought you were a Death Eater!"

"Nope," Olivia smiled. She reached out to take Harry from his mother. "How are you, Harry?"

"Livie!" he squealed, grabbing her hair.

"None of that," she said, pulling her hair out of his hands. She smiled at him, kissing his cheeks. "What are you going to do today?"

"Park," he replied.

Olivia raised her eyes to Lily, who nodded.

"Our big plan is to hit the park today."

"Well, would you mind if I tag along?"

"Not at all," Lily smiled. "Do you need to talk?"

"Wedding plans," Olivia replied. "Since I have today off, I thought you and I could start discussing what's going to happen at this event."

"Sounds like fun," Lily replied. "We can talk about it at the park, right? I did promise this little one that's where we'd go today."

"Sure," Olivia grinned. "I'm always up for a trip to the park!"

* * *

By the end of the morning, they had gone over all the plans that Olivia and Sirius had already made, including the date, the colors, and the church and reception hall. Lily grinned when she discovered that Sirius had indeed won the color debate; the wedding party would be wearing Gryffindor colors.

"Well, it makes sense," Olivia said when Lily commented on it. "We did meet there, and it is where we first started dating."

"Where you first fell in love?" Lily teased as she pushed Harry on a swing.

"Yes, that too," Olivia replied with a smile. Her eyes took on a far-away look. "Doesn't that seem like it was ages ago?"

Lily thought back to their seventh year, when both she and Olivia had started dating the men they were destined to marry. She smiled, remembering how nervous she had been the night before her first date with James.

"It _was_ a long time ago," she said. "We were so little then – just babies, really."

"But you already knew that you would marry James, didn't you?"

Lily smiled again. "Yes. I knew." She paused. "I wasted so much time refusing to admit that I could ever even like him enough to have a conversation with him. I can't believe it took me so long to realize what a great person he is."

Olivia shook her head. "Don't think that way. You and James . . . I think that being apart all that time helped you. Yes, you were always meant to be together, but I think you both had to be ready for it. Seventh year, you were." She smiled. "Sirius and I are the same way. I think it was always meant to be, but we just had to get to the right place for it to happen."

"Very philosophical," Lily giggled.

"And probably true," Olivia replied. "Do you think Dana would be able to come out for a visit soon?"

"Why?" Lily asked, surprised at the abrupt subject change.

"I want us all to go get fitted for our robes for the wedding together."

"Oh! I'm sure she would make time for that."

"I hope so."

* * *

Olivia wrote to Dana, who was thrilled with the idea of a visit. Even more than wanting to get her robes with the other girls, she wanted to show off her new daughter, who was already three months old.

They spent two weeks working out the details of the visit. Finally, on the appointed Saturday that everyone had managed to get away from work and other obligations, Dana used a Ministry Portkey to arrive in Olivia's flat.

"Look at you!"

Both Lily and Olivia were there; they shot across the room to take the baby from Dana's arms. Dana giggled.

"This is my Laura," she smiled. "Laura, this is Aunt Lily and Aunt Olivia."

"Come here," Lily cooed, taking the little girl from her mother. "Oh, Dana, she is the sweetest thing!" She held the baby for a moment, then passed her to Olivia.

"She looks just like you, Dana," Olivia smiled as she cradled the baby.

"My mum says so, too," Dana smiled. "But I don't think she's my little double like Harry is for James." She looked around. "Where are Harry and James?"

"At home," Lily replied. "We actually thought that you could take Laura over there so that the guys can watch the kids while we go get our robes."

"Are they all there?"

"Yeah," Olivia replied. She giggled. "I think _someone_ said something about not trusting James with more than one child at a time."

"Sirius?" Dana laughed.

"Who else?" Lily laughed. "But I know that Remus really wanted to spend time with little Laura, too."

"Right," Dana said softly. "How is he?"

"He seems better since he moved," Olivia said. "I think that getting out of that house has helped him a lot."

"Knowing about your Laura has helped him, too," Lily added. "He agrees with you – he said it helps to know that his Laura's spirit will live on through your daughter."

"I'm so glad," Dana said, exhaling. "I was so worried when I named her Laura. I truly did it to honor Laura's memory, but I was afraid that Remus wouldn't see it that way. I was afraid that it was too soon."

"No," Lily replied. "He understands, and I think that he really appreciates the gesture."

"Well," Dana said, reclaiming her baby, "let's go introduce them, then!"

The girls Flooed from Olivia's flat to the Potters' house. Dana, who was seeing it for the first time, looked around with wide eyes as she stepped out of the fireplace.

"Oh, Lily, this is gorgeous!"

Lily smiled. "Do you like it? I'll give you the complete tour, if you'd like."

"I'd like," Dana grinned.

"Dana!" James exclaimed as he walked into the living room. He pulled her into a hug. "Hey, guys, Dana's here!" he called.

"Hi, James," Dana smiled, returning the embrace. "How have you been?"

"Oh, you know," James grinned. "Just tormenting students and Snape. The usual."

Dana laughed, and took her baby from Olivia' arms. "Here, I want you to meet my daughter, Laura."

"Hi, sweetheart," James smiled, taking the baby from her. He looked down at her for a moment, then up at Dana. "She's a cutie," he grinned.

"I think so, too," Dana smiled.

"Dana!" Sirius yelled as he came into the room leading Harry by the hand. He pulled her into a bear hug that took her feet off the ground. "It's great to see you!"

"You, too, Sirius," she laughed.

Remus and Peter came in, both hugging her close. Then, while Dana turned her attention to Harry, who didn't remember her, James introduced Laura to the others. Sirius and Peter both held the little girl and proclaimed her adorable before passing her to Remus. He took her into his arms and looked down at her, his eyes very bright.

"Hey, sweetheart," he said softly. "You're a very pretty little girl." He looked up at Dana, blinking quickly. "She looks like you."

"Yeah, she does," Dana said softly. She put Harry, who she had been holding, back on the floor and stepped closer to Remus. "Are you all right?" she asked softly.

He looked back down at the baby and swallowed several times before answering. "She's perfect, Dana," he said finally, his voice quite raspy. He looked at her again, his eyes now red-rimmed. "Thank you."

Dana nodded, and put her hand on his arm. "You're welcome," she said softly.

* * *

The girls finally left, and the men were alone with the children. Harry seemed rather unimpressed by his new playmate, despite James's best efforts to get the two of them to play together.

"What were you expecting?" Peter laughed, looking at the baby that Remus was holding. "Laura can't even sit up yet!"

"Well, according to Lily and Dana, these two will be married one day," James grinned. "I just thought I should let them get an early start on their relationship."

"Prongs, that's just wrong," Sirius said, making a face. "You can't go arranging their marriages. What if they hate one another?"

"What if they never really get to know one another, since they live in different countries?" Remus pointed out. "I mean, they won't even go to the same school!"

"I'll have to talk to Dana about making sure Laura goes to Hogwarts," James grinned.

Remus shook his head. "She told me that she has her down for Beauxbatons."

"Why is she sending her there?" Peter asked.

"It's all part of the new life, I suppose," Remus shrugged.

Peter nodded. "I suppose you're right. It's sort of odd to think of one of our kids going anywhere but Hogwarts, though, isn't it?"

"Are you and Moony having children now, Wormtail?" Sirius laughed.

"Must you always take everything so literally?" Peter asked with a grin. "I meant 'our' in the collective sense – Harry, Laura, and any other kids that any of us have."

"Who said the rest of us are having kids?" Sirius asked.

"What, you and Olivia don't want kids?" James asked.

"Do I really seem like a father to any of you?" Sirius asked.

"Fair point," Peter laughed.

"You're a great godfather," James said. "And I think you'll have a tough time convincing Olivia that she doesn't want kids."

"We'll probably have them," Sirius conceded. "But we have plenty of time. We need to focus on our careers and getting married right now."

"In that order," Remus said with a grin.

"Bastard," Sirius grinned. "Who asked your opinion?"

Harry looked up from his puzzle. "Batard!" he yelled.

"Oh, nice, Sirius," James said sarcastically. He turned to give his son a stern look. "Harry, we don't say that word."

"Batard!"

"Harry, no," James said. He picked the baby up, and put him in his lap. "That's not a nice word, and only goofy people like Uncle Sirius use it. I don't want to hear you say it again. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Harry said seriously.

"Good." James kissed his forehead. "I love you, Harry."

"Love you!" Harry replied. He crawled down from James's lap, and made his way back over to his toys.

"Maybe you were right, Sirius," James sighed. "No kids for you!"

Sirius laughed. "I'll watch it in the future, I promise."

Peter shook his head. He was about to comment on Sirius's lack of parental skills when he felt a burning pain in his arm. Panic filled him. How could he leave now? He had already told his friends that he was free for the day – that was why they had picked this day for the reunion with Dana. What could he do?

"Are you all right, Wormtail?" James asked, seeing the look on his friend's face.

"I just realized what time it is," Peter replied. "I need to get going."

"What do you mean?" Sirius exclaimed. "We all said we were off today!"

"I know, but I promised my mum that I'd help her move some furniture," Peter lied. "She wanted me to be home about ten minutes ago."

"Oh," James said. "Well, I suppose that Remus and I can handle these kids without you."

"Hey!" Sirius exclaimed. "What about me?"

"You don't count," James grinned. "You're teaching my baby bad language."

"Eh, he was going to hear it sometime regardless," Sirius shrugged. "So you're leaving us, Peter?"

"Yeah," Peter said as the burning intensified. He winced slightly. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it," James said. "We'll see you later."

"Thanks," Peter smiled. "Bye, guys."

He Disapparated, and the others looked at one another.

"Okay, what do you think the real story is?" Sirius asked.

"Hot date," James said promptly.

"Hot date?" Remus laughed, adjusting Laura in his arms.

"Yup," James grinned. "Personally, I'm a little offended that he never told us about his new girlfriend."

"Maybe he wants to keep it under wraps for awhile," Sirius mused. "I hope you're right, James. Our Peter needs a new woman in his life."

Remus shook his head. "I think I know why he didn't tell any of us – the two of you would never leave him alone about it!"

"Maybe," Sirius laughed. "Come on, Harry, let's play some Quidditch!"

He tossed the red Quaffle to Harry, who watched as it fell next to him. James laughed.

"We're still working on that."

* * *

"Peter, would you like to tell me why it is that I can no longer find the Potters?"

Peter clasped his hands together in an effort not to shake as he looked into the Dark Lord's furious face. "They've moved, my Lord," he stammered.

"Moved," Voldemort repeated. "How lovely for them. I certainly hope they've had time to situate themselves in their new house, since I have not been able to find them _for_ _six_ _months_. Tell me, Peter, why it has taken you so long to come forward with this information."

"I – I didn't think . . ."

"You didn't think what? That it would be important to me? You know very well that I have been tracking them, that I have done my best to destroy their son . . . I think you need to remember where your loyalties lie." He picked up his wand, and looked at Peter with a horrible grin. "_Crucio_."

Peter's shrieks of pain reverberated throughout the room.

* * *

"James, I'm going to run out to the grocery store," Lily said as she walked into the study with her purse already in hand.

"What happened to staying in today?" James asked, looking up from the essays he was reading.

"I know," Lily smiled. "But we're out of milk and eggs, so I figured going to the grocery store is a must. Do you need anything?"

"Someone to grade my essays for me?"

"I'll see if they sell personal assistants," Lily grinned. "Do you want me to take Harry so that you can work without interruptions?"

James thought for a moment. "Yeah, if you don't mind. I'll probably get more done if he isn't in here trying to talk to me every ten minutes."

Lily grinned, and scooped the baby off the floor. "Are you distracting Daddy?" she asked, kissing his cheek. "We're going out, Harry."

"Park?" he asked hopefully.

"No, not to the park," Lily replied. "We're going to the grocery store. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

Harry looked at her in what she was certain was a disbelieving way. She laughed at the look on his face.

"I'll get you a cookie while we're there," she promised.

"Tookie?" he asked.

"Yes, a cookie," Lily grinned. "Tell Daddy bye-bye."

"Bye-bye, Daddy!"

"Bye, Harry. I'll see you when Mummy's done shopping." He looked at Lily. "Where are you going?"

"Just to that store down the street," she replied. "We should be back in less than an hour."

"Sounds good," James smiled.

Lily leaned down to kiss him. "See you soon. Have fun with the essays."

"Thanks," he smiled. "Bye, love."

"Bye!"

Lily walked out with Harry still in her arms. A moment later, James heard the sound of the car starting and rolling down the driveway. He picked up the essay he had been reading, and made a correction.

* * *

Lily and Harry had been gone for about half an hour when he heard the soft pop of someone Apparating into their house. He frowned, not sure who it could be. Lily had driven, and couldn't Apparate with Harry in her arms. Sirius, Olivia and Peter all had told him that they were working. There was no reason for Dumbledore to visit him on a Saturday. That left two people that knew their password, and he knew that Remus and his mother would have made their presence known as soon as they arrived.

He picked up his wand off the desk with a frown. He stood slowly, and stepped around the desk. He walked quietly to the open door, and looked around it into the deserted hall. He wanted to call out to see who had entered his house, but his Order training told him not to. He didn't want to make his location known.

"_Crucio_!"

James gave a scream of pain, and fell to the floor. The curse ended, and he rolled over, struggling to get up to his knees. A Death Eater stood over him, his wand pointed straight between James's eyes.

"Where is your son?"

"Not here," James replied.

"Of course he is."

"He's not," James said firmly. "He's out with his mother. If you want to torture me, go right ahead, but you're not going to get anywhere."

A second Death Eater came into the room and shook his head. "I've searched the entire house, but I can't find the kid."

"He says he's out with his mother," the first Death Eater said, jerking his head toward James.

"Where did they go?" the second Death Eater asked.

"I don't know," James said.

"Wrong answer," the first replied. "_Crucio_."

The Death Eaters watched as James screamed in pain, then finally removed the curse.

"Let's try again. _Where_ _is your son_?"

James grabbed his own wand. "_Reducto_!" he shouted, aiming at the first Death Eater's wand arm.

The man gave a scream of pain as the bones in his arm shattered. His wand fell to the ground with a clatter. James rounded on the second Death Eater, but he wasn't fast enough. He didn't hear the curse that he muttered; he was only aware of the purple light that shot at him.

Pain filled his body as the curse hit him, followed by merciful blackness.

* * *

"We're home!" Lily said as she pulled the car into the driveway.

"Home!" Harry repeated. "Daddy?"

"Yes, we'll see Daddy in a minute," Lily replied. She turned the car off, and unbuckled her seatbelt. "Hang on a minute, sweetheart, so I can get you out of there."

She got out of the car, then leaned into the backseat to unbuckle Harry from his car seat. She lifted him out of the car, and set him on his feet on the driveway.

"Stay right there," she cautioned as she went around to get the groceries out of the trunk.

Harry, mindless of her orders, toddled over the grass, where he crouched down to examine a flower. Lily watched him, and shook her head. At least he wasn't in the street.

"Harry, will you help Mummy, please?"

Harry ran back over to his mother as best he could, and threw his arms around her legs. She smiled, and hugged him.

"Can you carry something into the house for me?"

"Yes!"

She searched through the bags, and finally settled on a box of cereal. She gave it to him, and lifted four other bags.

"Okay, let's take these inside."

"Inside," Harry repeated.

"Right. Come with me."

Harry followed Lily up the steps to the front door. She unlocked the door, and held it open for Harry.

"Go put that in the kitchen, sweetie," she said.

Harry toddled off down the hall, bouncing the cereal on the floor. Lily shook her head again and smiled.

"James?" she called as she walked into the kitchen. "We're home, love!"

Lily frowned when she didn't hear a response. With the amount of essays that James had to grade, she was sure that he hadn't gone out.

"James?" she called again. "Where are you?"

Panic filled her as he still didn't respond. What could have happened? Had the Death Eaters . . . ? Where they still in the house? She felt a cold sweat forming along her forehead. She bent down to pick up Harry, who struggled against her grasp.

"Stay with Mummy a minute, love," she murmured, pressing a kiss against his head. "We need to find Daddy."

"Daddy?" he asked.

"We're going to look for him," she said, taking her wand out of her pocket. "And you need to be very quiet, love. Can you do that for Mummy?"

"Shhh," Harry whispered, putting a small finger against his lips.

"That's right," Lily said absently. "James?" She left the kitchen and went into the dining room. "Are you home?"

Lily turned down the hall that led to the study, hoping that he might have fallen asleep grading his essays. As she turned the corner, she saw his body lying on the floor.

"_James_!" she shrieked.

She ran down the hall, and put Harry down on the floor next to James.

"Daddy?" Harry whispered, touching James's cheek.

"Don't touch Daddy, Harry," Lily said harshly. "Sit still."

Eyes widening at her tone, Harry sat down on the floor.

"James? James, can you hear me?" Lily grabbed James's wrist to feel for a pulse. Relief flooded through her when she found one.

"Okay," she said. "Okay." She took out her wand. "_Ennervate_."

James remained unresponsive.

"Not a Stunner . . ." Lily murmured. Tears filled her eyes. "What did they do to you, James? How do I fix it?"

She knew that her medical knowledge was extremely limited, and that she needed help. She reached into the pocket of James's robes for the mirror that she knew would be there.

"Sirius! Sirius, please, help me!"

Sirius's face appeared almost instantly, fear etched on his features. "Lily?" he asked. "What's going on? Where's James?"

"He's been attacked, Sirius," she said, feeling the panic spread through her. "I don't know how to help him –"

"Where are you?" Sirius interrupted.

"At home."

"I'm on my way."

Sirius was there within moments, his wand already out.

"Thank you," Lily whispered.

"What happened?" Sirius asked, kneeling down beside her.

"I don't know. I took Harry out to the store, and this is how I found him when I got home."

Sirius pointed his wand at his friend. "_Ennervate_."

"I already tried that," Lily said, closing in on hysteria. "What's wrong with him, Sirius?"

"I don't know," Sirius said honestly. "I'm going to get us some help."

He took a crystal cross from his pocket and tapped it with his wand. Lily watched as it glowed gold, then blue.

"What's that?"

"All the Aurors have them. We use them to summon Healers to battle scenes."

"This won't be considered abusing it, will it?"

"He was attacked by Death Eaters," Sirius replied. "I think I'm well within my rights." He looked around uneasily. "Are they gone?"

"I'm sure of it. They would have tried to kill Harry by now if they were still here." Lily looked back down at her husband. "He still has a pulse," she said. "So he's not . . . he's not . . ."

"He's going to be fine," Sirius said firmly. He bent down to pick up Harry. "How are you, little man?"

"Shhh," Harry said, putting a finger to his lips again. "Daddy sleeping."

"Yeah, Daddy's sleeping," Sirius repeated.

Lily looked at Harry with tear-filled eyes. "Let me hold my baby, Sirius."

Sirius passed the baby to her; she kissed his head just as two Healers Apparated into the house. They quickly took in the scene.

"One down?"

"Yes," Sirius said, indicating James's motionless form. "Death Eaters used an unknown curse."

The Healers nodded, and both knelt down to work on James. While one used his wand to administer healing charms, the other began pulling vials of potions from a bag. Lily watched from a slight distance, holding Harry tightly. Sirius stood next to her with his hand on the small of her back, ready to support her if she started to fall.

After what seemed like forever, James began to choke and cough. The Healers looked at one another with smiles.

"Welcome back," one said, helping James into a sitting position. "You had us all worried for a minute there."

James looked up and saw Lily, Harry and Sirius all looking at him. He smiled slightly.

"There's no need to look so grim," he said with a cough. "I'm fine."

"Of course you are," Lily said, her tears beginning again. Harry began to struggle against her hold on him, and she lowered him to the floor.

"Is he all right, then?" Sirius asked.

"Fine," one of the Healers replied. "You called us just in time. A few more minutes and he'd be spending a week in St. Mungo's."

"He doesn't need to go to the hospital?" Lily asked.

"No," the second Healer said. "Just monitor him at home. If you see any signs that he's not at 100 percent, bring him in."

"I will," Lily promised. "Thank you both so much."

"You're welcome."

After one last check to be sure that James really was fine, the two Healers Disapparated. James struggled to his feet; Sirius was there in an instant to help him up.

"Are you sure you're all right?" Lily asked.

"I'm okay," James replied. He stepped closer, and touched her face. "Thank God you're all right," he said, his hand moving to run through her hair.

"Oh, God, James, I was so scared," Lily said, her tears starting again. "When I came home and found you just lying there . . . I didn't know what had happened or what to do . . . I used your mirror to call Sirius, and he summoned the Healers."

"She was great," Sirius said. "She really knew what she was doing."

"I was just so scared," Lily said, her voice breaking as the tears came faster.

"It's all right, love," James said, pulling her close. He gently kissed her. "I'm fine."

"I know," she said, clinging to him and kissing him again. "I can see that."

He kissed her one last time. "Where's Harry?"

"He was here a minute ago . . ."

"Harry!" James yelled. "Harry, where are you?"

"Daddy," Harry giggled. He came toddling back down the hall, clutching the dog that Sirius had given him for his birthday. "Doggie Siri!"

Sirius laughed, and picked Harry up into his arms. "Now you can have Doggie Sirius with you all the time. You don't have to wait for me to transform for you!"

"Doggie Siri," Harry said.

"Not now, champ," James said. "Daddy and Mummy need to talk to Uncle Sirius."

Sirius's face turned very grave. "You were attacked by Death Eaters, weren't you?"

"Let's sit down," James said.

They made their way into the kitchen and took seats around the table. Harry followed them, and sat down on the floor, playing with his dog.

"Yeah," James said once they were seated, "there were two Death Eaters."

"Only two?" Sirius frowned. "I would expect more."

"I'm just glad there weren't more," Lily said, running her hand over James's arm. "Were they after . . .?"

James nodded. "They demanded to know where Harry was. Naturally, I wouldn't tell them . . ."

"And they attacked," Sirius finished.

"Well, they attacked before that – you know how they are."

"Yeah," Sirius said, running his hands over his face. Then he frowned. "But how did they get in?"

"They must have gotten our password somehow," Lily said. "That's the only way anyone can get into the house."

"Dumbledore was right," James said suddenly.

"About what?"

"Right after we moved, I gave him our new address and our password. He asked me who else knew where we were and how to reach us. When I told him, he looked . . . pensive. I asked what was bothering him, and he asked if I really trusted everyone that I had given the password to. I said of course, and he just nodded."

"He thinks that someone has been giving out our password?" Lily asked in shock.

James nodded. "I didn't think much of it at the time – I do trust everyone that has the password. But, obviously, that's misplaced trust."

"Do you really think that someone is giving away our passwords?" Lily asked. Then she continued, answering her own question, "I suppose someone _has_ to be . . . how else could they be getting in?"

Sirius's eyes grew round as he remembered a past conversation with James. "Dumbledore's never figured out who the spy in the Order is, has he?"

"No," James said. "Why?"

"What if it's the same person who's been passing your whereabouts and passwords to the Death Eaters?"

"Are you saying . . .?"

Sirius nodded. "What if the spy is one of our friends?"

"No," Lily said at once. "Who would do something like that to us? It's impossible. Unthinkable."

"But it must be happening," James said. "Lily, you are one of the best witches in the world with charms. Even Flitwick has always been impressed with you. There is no way that someone could just get through all the protective charms on this house without outside help. And the only people who could provide that help are the ones who have the password. You just said yourself that someone must be giving our password away."

"Right," Lily said slowly, her face very pale. "So, that means we're looking at . . . Sirius, Olivia, your mum, Dumbledore, Remus, Dana and Peter."

"Right," James agreed.

"Well, I'll tell you right now that it isn't me," Sirius said.

"No, I know that," James said without hesitation. "I trust you with my life, Padfoot. I know you would never do anything to endanger my family."

Sirius smiled faintly. "You've got that right."

Lily put her hand over his. "We _both_ trust you."

Sirius squeezed her hand before continuing. "It can't be Olivia. Moody would know in an instant if she was a Death Eater. That man has more connections than God."

"So that leaves Mum, Dumbledore, Dana, Remus and Peter," James said. "We can rule out my mum and Dumbledore right now."

"So Dana, Remus and Peter," Lily mused. "I doubt it's Dana – don't forget, her husband was killed by Death Eaters. I think that if she was one, she'd have considerably better protection on her family. Besides, she's not even in the country now – and we all know that Voldemort hasn't started his campaign in France yet."

"True," James said pensively. "They haven't had any Death Eater activity at all." A pained expression crossed his face. "So it must be either Remus or Peter?"

"My God," Sirius said, dropping his face into his hands. "You must be kidding."

Lily started shaking. "Which one do you think it is?"

Sirius raised his face from his hands. "The idea of Peter being a double agent is laughable. I mean, look at him! He can barely handle his job in that store." He sighed. "And, not to be mean, but what would Voldemort want with Peter? He doesn't have any extraordinary talents – it took the three of us guys to get him through school – and he's not in anyone's inner circle."

"So you're saying . . .?" Lily said, swallowing hard.

"Remus," James breathed.

"No," Lily said. "It can't be. Think of the number of times that Harry and I were alone with him recently. He had plenty of chances to kill Harry, and never once did he do it. He didn't even try!"

"Yeah, but Little Flower, think about it. He's been a wreck since Laura died. How do we know what he got himself into to get over that?"

"But we were attacked long before that . . ." James said.

Sirius waved his hand. "Then he's been in longer than we want to know!"

"My God." James's face turned a delicate shade of green. "I think I'm going to be sick."

Without another word, he ran from the kitchen. They heard the bathroom door slam behind him.

Lily and Sirius remained silent for several minutes, both staring down at the table. Tears filled Lily's eyes again.

"Sirius, do you really think . . .?"

"I hate this," Sirius said, slamming his fist down on the table. "Remus has been one of my best friends for years. Years! How could he do this to you now?"

"But we don't have any proof . . ."

"We don't have any proof either way," Sirius sighed. He ran his hands over his face. "He's the most logical choice, Lils."

"But he's _Remus_ . . ."

"He's a werewolf," James said, coming back into the kitchen, his face far paler than it had been.

"James!" Lily exclaimed. "Since when has that mattered to you?"

"It's never mattered," James said without hesitation as he sat down. "But the fact remains that Voldemort has been recruiting werewolves to fight for his cause. How do we know that Remus isn't one of them?"

"But, guys, really . . . Remus working for Voldemort? The whole idea is just ridiculous!"

"I know," James said, reaching up to clutch his hair. "But what other choice is there than to believe it?"

"Look, the important thing right now is making sure that you three are safe," Sirius said. "We can discuss reasons why or why not Remus could be a double agent all day, but it's not going to help anything. So, we're going to get you guys out of here. You're coming home with me. You can't stay in this house anymore."

Lily sighed. "We have to move again."

James looked at her with a grim. "Lil . . . I think we may need to talk about doing something other than just moving."

"You're thinking that we should go into hiding." It wasn't a question. She already knew what James would say.

"Yeah, Lil, I am," he said softly. "We've lived in three different houses since Harry was born. They've found us every time. They even found us in Greece! Maybe . . . maybe it's time that we listened to Dumbledore."

Lily nodded slowly. "Maybe it is."

"How does that work?" Sirius asked. "What would you have to do?"

"I don't know," James said honestly. "But I think we should go talk to Dumbledore. I'm sure he'd be willing to help us." He looked at Lily, who had a thoughtful expression on her face. "Lil? What do you think?"

"We could use a Fidelius Charm," Lily said softly.

"A what?" Sirius asked.

Lily smiled. "Am I the only one who paid attention in N.E.W.T. Charms?"

"No, you're just the only one who memorized the book," Sirius replied. "Care to explain?"

"It's a really complex charm," Lily said. "We could conceal our location within a Secret Keeper. Unless that person told our whereabouts, we would remain completely hidden. For example, if James was my Secret Keeper, he would have to tell you where I was before you could find me. But then only the people James told would be able to find me. And those people wouldn't be able to tell anyone else where I was – only James could do that."

"Sounds like it could work," Sirius said. "What do you think, James?"

"I think it's the best plan we've got so far," he said. "So how would it work? _Would_ I be your Secret Keeper?"

"No, we'd have to pick someone else to be the Secret Keeper for all three of us." She looked thoughtful. "I'm not sure how to work the charm, though. I'd have to look it up – and maybe Professor Flitwick would be willing to help me learn to do it." She looked at James apologetically. "No offense, but I'm better at Charms than you."

"No, you should do it," James said tensely. "We want to make sure that this works."

"Good plan," Sirius said. "Now, let's pack up everything you guys need and get you out of here. I need to get to back to work, but I don't want you staying here any longer than you have to. Now that they know where you are, there's no telling when they'll be back."

* * *

Sirius stayed long enough to help Lily and James settle in at his flat before returning to the Ministry. Lily put protective charms around the flat while James played with Harry.

"Lil, who do you think we should ask?" James asked, watching Harry chase the Quaffle he had tossed to him.

"Ask what?"

"To be our Secret Keeper."

Lily looked at him for a moment. "Who do you want to ask?"

"Sirius," he said without hesitation. "For the same reasons we chose him for Harry's godfather. I know that he'll defend us to the death, and I know that he's powerful enough to do that. Besides, he's fine with being in danger." He ran his hands over his face. "I can't ask my mum. I can't put her in that danger. And Dana has a baby now . . . we can't ask that of her, either. Olivia would do it, I know, but I'd feel better with Sirius." He smiled apologetically. "Macho guy thing, I suppose." He paused, then continued, "Peter isn't strong enough. And Remus . . ."

"Sirius is the best choice," Lily said. She sat down next to him on the floor, and he put his arms around her to pull her close. "I hate this, James. How could Remus do this to us? After all that we've done for him . . . You became an illegal Animagus for him! I spent hours and hour helping him get past Laura's death! We've been his best friends! How could he do this to us?"

"I don't know," James whispered against her hair. "I would never have believed that he could do it. He always seemed so strong, so able to withstand outside forces like this . . . Voldemort is strong, Lil. He can convince anyone that his cause is right and justified."

Lily shivered. "I hate this," she said again.

"I do too, love," James said. He kissed her head. "But we'll be fine. Sirius will never betray us. We'll be safe."

"We should ask him when he gets back. I want to know that he agrees with this plan."

"We'll ask him as soon as he walks through the door," James promised.

"Can we go talk to Dumbledore soon?" Lily asked. "I want to get this over with as soon as possible."

"Sure. We'll go tomorrow."

* * *

Sirius arrived home with a crack. James and Lily were still awake, sitting on the couch talking. Harry was nowhere to be seen; Sirius assumed that he was in bed.

"Hello, Potters," he said cheerfully. "Miss me?"

"Sirius," James said. "Can you sit down? We want to talk to you."

"Sure," Sirius said, sitting down in the chair across from them. "Is everything all right? You both look rather serious."

"Everything's fine," James assured him. "Lily and I were talking while you were gone, and we have a . . . request."

"Sure. I'll do anything for you guys. You know that."

"Well, we're about to test that," Lily said softly. She looked at her husband.

James drew a deep breath. "Sirius, Lily and I have talked about it, and we want to go ahead with this Fidelius Charm."

"Good," Sirius said with relief in his voice. "It sounds like the best way for you to stay safe."

James nodded. "Yeah, it does. But to do it, we need to have a Secret Keeper we really trust." He paused, and looked directly into his friend's eyes. "Sirius, will you be our Secret Keeper?"

"Yes," Sirius said without hesitation. "I was going to offer earlier, but I wanted you guys to think about it, to decide what you wanted to do first."

"We've decided," Lily said. "Sirius, you know that we trust you with Harry's life. We know that we can trust you with everything."

"Of course you can," Sirius replied.

"It's not going to be easy for you," James cautioned. "I know that you'll become a target. Voldemort will really be after you."

Sirius shrugged. "He already is, isn't he? Don't worry about it. I can stand up to the Death Eaters and to Voldemort himself."

"We know you can," James said. "That's why we want you to do this for us."

"When does this whole thing happen?" Sirius asked.

"We're going to talk to Dumbledore tomorrow," Lily said. "As soon as I can learn to do the charm, we're going to do it."

Sirius nodded. "I'll be ready."

* * *

The next morning, James and Lily Flooed to James's office in Hogwarts. They had brought Harry along for the trip; he looked around with wide eyes as they carried him from James's office to Dumbledore's.

"What do you think of the castle, Harry?" Lily asked as they walked. "You'll go to school here someday."

"Castle," Harry repeated with a smile. "Pretty."

"I think it's pretty, too," James smiled, adjusting the baby in his arms. "We're going to talk to Professor Dumbledore right now. Do you remember him?"

"No-o," Harry said, pronouncing a very long _o _at the end of the word.

"Yes, you do," Lily smiled. "He was at your birthday party. He has the long, white beard. He made the toast to you."

"Toat!" Harry laughed.

James shook his head. "This is going nowhere fast. Come on, let's go up." They had stopped in front of the gargoyle guarding Dumbledore's office. "Drooble's Best Blowing Gum."

"That's a mouthful," Lily giggled as the gargoyle sprang to life.

James shrugged. "Hey, I don't make them up."

They stepped onto the staircase, and within minutes were outside Dumbledore's open office door. James knocked lightly, and the headmaster looked up from the paperwork on his desk.

"James!" he said with a smile. "What brings you here on a Sunday?"

"We wanted to talk to you," James said as he entered with Lily and Harry.

"My, the entire family," Dumbledore smiled. He turned his twinkling eyes to the baby. "How are you today, Harry?"

Harry, generally shy around those he didn't know well, remained silent, but smiled at the headmaster. Dumbledore winked at him.

"Please, sit down. Is there some way that I can help you?"

"Actually, Professor, there is," James said as they sat down in the chairs in front of Dumbledore's desk. "I don't know if you've heard, but we were attacked by Death Eaters yesterday."

"Yes," Dumbledore said heavily. "Alastor told me. But he said that Lily and Harry were out at the time?"

"Yes," Lily said. She reached across to take James's hand. "It gave us a fright, but at least Harry wasn't there."

"Yes," Dumbledore mused, looking at the baby, "we do need to keep him safe."

"The thing is, Professor, we're getting very worried," James said. "Only a very small number of people have access to our house. Lily has put up very strong password protection around the house. The only way that anyone can get into the house is with the password."

"You think the Death Eaters are using one of your friends to gain access to your house," Dumbledore said softly.

"Yes," James said. "And we've decided to take the advice that you gave us when Harry was born – we want to go into hiding."

The headmaster nodded, sadness creeping into his eyes. "I had hoped it wouldn't come to that, but it is the safest course of action."

"Yes," James agreed. "We've lived with the risk for over a year, but it's getting to be too much. We need to completely conceal our location."

"Right," Dumbledore said. "I would suggest the Fidelius Charm to protect yourselves."

"That's what we were thinking of," Lily said. "I'm sure I can handle it, but I'd like to ask Professor Flitwick to help me master it before I attempt it."

"Of course," Dumbledore nodded. "I'm sure he'd be happy to help you."

"Good," Lily said, relief showing on her face.

"I would also suggest that you move again," Dumbledore said.

"We were thinking of that," James admitted.

"Have you considered where you might like to go?"

"Not yet."

Dumbledore looked thoughtful. "Godric's Hollow might be the perfect place for you."

"Godric's Hollow?" Lily repeated with a frown.

"It's a very small wizarding village," Dumbledore said. "It's close enough to Hogwarts that I will be able to give you any help that you might need very easily, and, because it is so small, the Death Eaters have not tried to attack it in the past. I see no reason why they might start now."

"Aside from us being there," Lily commented.

"Not if they don't know you are there," Dumbledore smiled. "Your Secret Keeper will make sure that they never learn where you live. Have you chosen someone for that job?"

"Yes," James said. "We've already asked Sirius, and he has agreed to be our Secret Keeper."

"Sirius Black?"

"Yes."

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "James, Lily . . . We can be sure that someone close to you is passing this information to the Death Eaters. All your friends must become suspects. If you'd like, I will be your Secret Keeper."

"Thank you for the offer, Professor, but I trust Sirius," James said. "He's been like a brother to me for years, and I know that he is the one friend who would never do anything to hurt me. I know that I can trust him with my safety as well as that of my family."

Dumbledore nodded, and looked at Lily. "Lily, do you share this trust in Sirius?"

"Yes, sir, I do," Lily said. "He has been a wonderful godfather to Harry, and I know that he would never do anything to hurt any of us."

"If you're sure . . . But, please remember that my offer still stands. I would be more than happy to be your Secret Keeper."

"Thank you, Professor," James smiled, "but I know that Sirius would never betray us."


	55. Charmed Decisions

A/N: Wow, guys, I'm really sorry! I've been gone for most of July on different trips, so that's why I haven't been able to update. I thought I'd have this chapter done before I left, but that obviously didn't happen – that's why you didn't get any warning. Unfortunately, these vacations weren't conducive to writing or even taking a laptop. But, I'm back in action now, and ready to finish out the story. Just to keep you updated, I'll have six chapters and an epilogue after this one. I had to break this one into two, or it would have been impossibly long.

Also, I've gotten this from a lot of people, so let me address it to everyone – I know that several of my theories were shot down by HBP. That's cool. The point is that what I write is all speculation and theory. I haven't lost interest as a result of reading the new book, and I haven't changed my outline. I'm sticking with what I've got to the bitter end. I'm going to leave this story and its predecessor as they are for now, but I might go back later and make them HBP-compatible. I did love HBP! Even with the ending (I couldn't stop crying!) it's probably my favorite in the series.

Thanks again for all your support and your patience! I love you all!

**sweetness0984:** I _loved_ Harry's romance! I've been hoping for it all along, and am actually planning a sequel to this story that has those two characters together! I'm leaving my Snape as is for now . . . grrrr.

**MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus: **Loved it, loved it! They were definitely meant for each other! I loved the way Harry realized he liked her, too. So cute!

**Veshman:** Sorry, but they have to suspect Remus. It's how it works. It's killing me, too – he's probably my favorite character in canon!

**Mely:** I'm planning a sequel about Harry post-Hogwarts, but I've recently been inspired to write one about Sirius, Remus, and Tonks during Books 5 and 6 before I get to that one. We'll see what comes of it.

**Black Emerald Dawn:** They didn't know about the Dark Mark on their arms. Remember what Sirius said to Harry in GoF when he told him about Snape and Karkaroff? Sirius had no idea what they would have on their arms. Sad, but true.

**Leela74:** We're going over Sirius's "stroke of brilliance" to use Peter as Secret Keeper in this chapter. Hopefully, you'll like the way I've written it!

Enjoy, everyone! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Charmed Decisions

"I think I've got it."

Professor Flitwick looked up at Lily with concern. "Are you completely sure, Lily? It's a very complicated charm, and if it's performed incorrectly not only will you remain exposed for all to find, but your Secret Keeper could also suffer serious spell damage."

"I know," she said. "I would never tell you that I understood if I wasn't sure. This is my family and one of my best friends that we're talking about, Professor. I would never do anything to endanger any of them."

Flitwick nodded. "If you say you're sure, you're sure."

"Are you?" Lily asked bluntly. "Do you think that I can do it?"

Flitwick gave her a beaming smile. "Lily, I _know_ you can do it. There is no doubt in my mind. You are one of the most talented witches I've ever seen work with charms, and you are also a very responsible woman. I know that you wouldn't tell me you were ready unless you were."

Lily smiled. "Thank you, Professor Flitwick. You've been so much of a help to me – not just with this charm, but with everything."

The small professor's eyes were suddenly over-bright. He hugged her tightly, and smiled at her when he released her. "You've always been one of my favorite students," he said softly. "It's been a pleasure teaching you. And, if Harry is anything like you, I can't wait to teach him!"

Lily grinned. "He'll be great with Charms, I'm sure."

Flitwick beamed, and hugged her again. "Good luck to you, Lily. Take good care of James and that baby."

"I will," she smiled. "Thank you again, Professor."

Lily gathered her things, and walked out of the Charms room with a smile on her face. She was ready. Now they just had to make a few last arrangements, and she, James and Harry could go into hiding. As much as she hated the idea, she could hardly wait for the sense of safety that would come with performing the Fidelius Charm. She knew that Sirius would make sure they were safe. Once the charm was performed, they would no longer have cause to worry about Voldemort finding them.

* * *

Lily Apparated into Sirius's flat with a pop. She looked around the empty living room, and put her wand on the coffee table.

"Hello?" she called. "James? Sirius? Is anyone home?"

"In here," James called from the kitchen.

Lily walked into the kitchen with a smile. Harry was in his highchair; James was sitting at the table attempting to feed him sliced carrots.

"No!" Harry yelled, trying to fight off James's hands.

"Come on, Harry, you like carrots," James said, offering him another.

"No!" Harry said again. His face screwed up, and the carrot shot out of James's hand and crossed the room, where it hit Lily's forehead with a loud smack. Her head snapped back, and for a moment, she was speechless with surprise.

"Harry!" James said angrily. "You do _not_ shoot carrots across the room! Look what you did! You made that carrot hit Mummy! That was not a nice thing to do. You tell Mummy that you're sorry."

"Sorry, Mummy," Harry said, his lower lip quivering.

Lily bit her lips to keep from laughing. "It's all right, Harry. Just don't do that again, all right? You don't have to eat carrots if you don't want to, but you can't shoot them like that. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Harry said solemnly.

James shook his head and reached up to run his hands through his hair, clutching it for a moment before releasing it. "Sorry about that, Lil."

"That'll teach you," she said with a grin. "Harry doesn't like carrots."

"Since when?" James asked.

"About a week ago," Lily replied, getting a bowl of sliced grapes out of the fridge. "He suddenly decided that he doesn't like them."

James shook his head. "I can't keep up."

"Here," she said, offering him the fruit. "Give him these."

James looked at the bowl warily. "You're sure he likes them?"

"Last time I checked."

James offered Harry a grape. He took the fruit and jammed it into his mouth. James smiled, and offered him another. "How did the lesson with Flitwick go?"

Lily sat down with him at the table. "We're ready to go."

James looked at her in surprise. "You're ready to do the spell?"

"Yes," Lily said. "As soon as we can have everything ready, we can go into hiding."

James nodded. "Let's give it a week. We need to get everything ready to move, and we need to tell everyone what's going on. And we need to prep Sirius."

Lily nodded. "One week."

"One week till what?" Sirius asked, Apparating into the kitchen in time to hear Lily's last statement.

"One week till we perform the Charm," James replied. "Can you be ready?"

"You bet," Sirius said easily. "I have the easy job, I think. I just have to sit there while Lily does all the work. I'm just glad I can do something to help you guys."

Lily smiled at him. "Do you know how much I love you?"

He grinned, and kissed her cheek. "I thought we were going to make sure that James never found out about us, and here you are, spouting off that you love me for him to hear!"

Lily laughed, and hugged him. "Sirius, I don't know what we'd do without you. You're the most amazing friend we could ever ask for."

Sirius smiled, and kissed the top of her head. "You're some pretty amazing friends yourselves." He paused, turning serious. "There is something that I wanted to talk to you two about."

"What?" James asked.

"I've done some thinking about this whole Secret Keeper thing, and I've made a decision."

"You'll still do it, right?" James asked, his voice tight with sudden concern.

"Oh, yeah, of course!" Sirius said quickly. "No, it's just that I've been thinking about what you said about me being a target . . . I think I should try to minimize the risk."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm going to move."

"Move?" James asked blankly. "You're going to leave your flat?"

"It's killing me," Sirius acknowledged. "Not counting Hogwarts and your house, James, this is the first _home_ I've ever had. But I can't stay here. You were right when you said that I'd be a target. I'm sure all the Death Eaters know that they can find me here. I need to get away from here. I'm sure that they'll still be out looking for me, but I want to make it harder for them to find me."

"Where will you go?" Lily asked softly.

"I don't know yet," he replied. He grinned. "But I guess I have a week to figure that out, right? That's when we're doing this?"

"Yes," James replied. He sighed. "We all have a week to completely rearrange our lives."

* * *

The next week was spent sorting and packing. By the end of the week, James and Lily were ready to go into hiding, and Sirius was ready to move into his new flat. He wouldn't tell them where it was, saying that it was safer if only he knew. He wouldn't even tell Olivia, concerned that she, too, would then be a target. They agreed to the plan, and made their final arrangements. When they were all finally ready, they invited their friends, James's mother, and Dumbledore to Sirius's house for dinner so that they could alert them to their plan.

Everyone arrived cheerfully, unaware of the announcement that James and Lily were planning to make. Sirius played the gracious host, welcoming them into his home. Harry was passed from one person to another; Dumbledore, who had not seen him since his birthday several months before, was captivated by the small boy. He held him for quite some time, chuckling as Harry buried his hands in the older man's long beard.

"Would everyone like to be seated?" Lily asked, waving her hand to invite them all to the chairs surrounding the table that had been magically expanded to accommodate so many guests.

Talking and laughing, everyone sat down. Dumbledore passed Harry to his mother, who situated him next to her in his highchair. She looked at the headmaster with a smile.

"Sit here, Professor," she said. "That way you can continue your conversation with Harry during dinner."

Dumbledore smiled, and sat down in the offered chair. "He is a charming young man, Lily."

"Thank you, sir," she smiled. "We think so, too."

The meal progressed without incident. No one noticed that Peter was sitting on the edge of his seat or the concerned look in his eyes. No one knew that he was willing the Dark Mark on his arm not to burn. He had left early from events such as this with flimsy excuses too many times in the past. How long could he expect his friends not to realize what was going on? They were all very intelligent – too intelligent for their own good. It was only a matter of time before they put it all together.

When the meal had ended, Lily looked at James. He nodded, and slowly stood to his feet.

"Could I have everyone's attention, please?"

All conversations stopped as everyone turned to face him. He looked at the curious faces before him and took a deep breath.

"There was a reason that Lily and I wanted to see you all tonight," he said. "There's something very important that we wanted to tell you."

Mrs. Potter gasped, her eyes flying to Lily's face as a smile lit her own. "You're pregnant, aren't you?"

"No," Lily said, smiling sadly. "It's still just Harry for us."

"Oh," Mrs. Potter said, her smile fading. "I had rather hoped . . . I just thought that if you _were_ pregnant, that might explain the way you've been acting recently."

"How have I been acting?" Lily frowned.

"Not just you, dear," Mrs. Potter replied, "James has been the same way. You've been . . . distant, I suppose. Not yourselves."

"Well, maybe we have," Lily conceded. "That's what we're about to explain."

"This is actually about keeping Harry – and ourselves – safe," James said. "You all know how many times we've nearly lost our lives because of the Death Eaters. You all know that we've been forced to move more times than I want to remember. Well, we're concerned that we may be beyond moving again as a means of avoiding Voldemort."

"What are you saying?" Remus asked. "You're not planning to just hand yourselves over to the Death Eaters, are you?"

"No," James said evenly, looking at him intensely. "We're going to go into hiding." _Take that back to your master, Remus_.

"Hiding?" Peter asked with a frown.

"Yes," James said, finally looking away from Remus. "We're going to use a Fidelius Charm. Lily has learned how to do it, so she's going to perform the charm. We're doing it tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Olivia whispered, her eyes wide. "So soon?"

"We've been working all the details out for awhile," Lily said. "We want to do it as soon as possible. You understand, don't you, Liv? We need to keep Harry safe."

"Of course I understand," Olivia said softly, her eyes shining with tears. "I just wish – I can't believe it's come to this."

"Who will be your Secret Keeper?" Mrs. Potter asked, breaking the tense silence that followed Olivia's remark.

"Sirius has consented to help us," James said.

Mrs. Potter nodded her approval, and turned to give Sirius a glowing smile. "I know I can trust you to keep my family safe."

Sirius nodded. "I'll never let anything happen to them."

Remus frowned slightly. "I know I've heard of the Fidelius Charm, but I never understood it. How does it work, exactly?"

"Our location will be concealed inside Sirius," Lily said. "Only those that he chooses to tell where we are will be able to find us. And only he can divulge our location."

"So even if I knew, I wouldn't be able to tell anyone else?" Olivia asked.

"Yes, exactly. No one but Sirius can tell anyone where to find us."

Peter nearly laughed out loud with relief. Finally, _finally_, his friends had made the right choice. Finally, he could honestly tell the Dark Lord that he had no idea where to find the Potters. Finally, they would be safe.

"Sirius will make sure that you all know where to find us," James said. "We're going to move again, to make it even harder to track us down. Sirius is also going to go into hiding to make sure that Voldemort can't find him."

James let his eyes sweep the room, checking the reactions of his friends and family. His mother was nodding silently, her eyes bright with unshed tears. Dumbledore looked at him with a slight nod; none of this was news to him. Peter was inexplicably smiling with clear relief in his eyes. Olivia looked concerned at the news that her fiancé was about to go into hiding, and reached out to take Sirius's hand. He gave her a smile, and kissed her cheek, whispering something that none of the others could hear. James finally let his eyes rest on Remus. He was frowning slightly, as though confused or concerned. _Does this mess up your plans, Remus?_ James wanted to ask. _Have we found the only way to make sure that you can't hand us over to your master?_

"Please don't be upset by this," Lily said softly. "We're doing this to save ourselves and Harry, not to cut you all out of our lives. Like James said, we'll make sure that you all know where to find us. We still want to see you."

Mrs. Potter rose from the table, and crossed to her son's side. She looked up at him – her little boy – for a moment, then pulled him into a crushing embrace. James could feel her tears falling against his shoulder. He held her as tightly as she held him. When everything was falling apart, it was so comforting to know that his mother was there to help make it right just by her very presence.

It was late when the party started to break up. After all they had heard from James and Lily, everyone seemed reluctant to leave. Finally, Peter took his leave, knowing that if he waited much longer, he would be too tired to Apparate home. Remus, who was looking particularly tired as he recovered from the recent full moon, left soon afterward. When Dumbledore rose to leave, James jumped to his feet.

"Professor, could I have a word with you before you go?"

"Yes, of course, James," Dumbledore consented.

"In here?" James asked, nodding toward the kitchen.

Dumbledore followed him into the kitchen. Lily, seeing where they had gone, excused herself from her conversation with Mrs. Potter to join them. As she entered the kitchen, James retrieved a small box from the cupboard under the sink. Dumbledore looked at him curiously as James held the box tightly in both hands.

"Professor, you know that I trust Sirius Black with my life," he said.

"Obviously," Dumbledore replied with a smile. "You have proven that by trusting him first as your son's godfather and now as the guardian for your entire family."

Lily crossed to stand next to James. "We both trust him, Professor."

Dumbledore smiled at her. "You've told me this before. I believe you. Your confidence in Mr. Black is enough to convince me of his trustworthiness."

James nodded. "The thing is, Professor, it's going to be rather obvious that we would choose Sirius as our Secret Keeper, so he's going to be in quite a bit of danger. If – if anything should happen to him, and then to Lily and me, we . . . we won't be able to be there for Harry. So, if you're willing, we'd like you to have these things to keep safe for Harry."

"What are they?" Dumbledore asked curiously.

James opened the box. "This is the key to our Gringotts vault," he said, picking the metal object up from its soft nest in the folds of a cloak. "Harry will need money to study at Hogwarts, and we want to make sure that he has access to everything that's his."

"Of course."

"And this," James said, reaching into the box and pulling out his Invisibility Cloak, "was my father's before he gave it to me. It was a Christmas gift during my first year at Hogwarts. I'd always intended to give it to Harry for Christmas during _his_ first year."

Dumbledore nodded. "I'll make sure that he receives it."

"It won't be too much of a bother?"

"No, of course not," Dumbledore said, taking the box from James. He made sure that the key and the cloak were tucked securely inside before closing the lid. "Helping you is never a bother, James. I just hope that the only thing I will ever do with this box is to hand it back to you."

"I hope so, too," James replied. "Thank you, Professor, for all your help."

"James, it has been my pleasure, just as it will be my pleasure to teach and help Harry."

Lily smiled. "Professor, I hope it doesn't come to this. I hope that you don't have to keep an eye on Harry any more than you would your other students. But . . . if it does come to the point that we – we can't be there for Harry, we still want to know that he is well-cared for. If Sirius is gone, as I'm sure the case would be if something were to happen to James and me, we would like for Harry to go to James's mother. We know that she would love him and raise him as we would."

"Of course," Dumbledore replied. "I will be sure to see to it."

"And . . . and if something happens to her . . ." Lily said slowly. She swallowed. "I'm not sure that Olivia would be fit to raise him after losing Sirius," she said. "Dana's so far away, and Peter can't . . . and Remus . . . Professor, do you remember my sister, Petunia? I believe you met her at her wedding."

"Ah," Dumbledore said, remembering the deal he had made with Petunia on that horrible day. "Yes, I remember your sister."

"If – if there is no other way, and no one else to raise Harry, please send him to her. I know that she hates me, but I'd like to think that she would push that aside for her nephew. I would like to think that she would take good care of him for me – or, at the very least, for our parents. He is still their grandchild, and she knows that."

"That is our last resort," James added. "We want Harry to be raised among wizards, if it's possible. We want him to grow up knowing that his powers are totally normal."

Lily nodded, shuddering slightly. "I don't want him to have to go through what I did as a child. I want him to know that he's not some odd little boy. He needs to know that, like James said, he's totally normal."

Dumbledore nodded. "I will take care of everything for you. Rest assured, I will make sure that Harry is cared for."

"Thank you, Professor," Lily said, her eyes suddenly very bright. "You have always been so much help to us. I feel horrible leaving all this on you, but . . ."

Dumbledore waved his hand as if to wave off her concern. "It is my pleasure, Lily. As I said earlier, Harry is a charming young man. I am glad to be able to help him. I will do everything in my power to be sure that Harry stays safe."

* * *

Once everyone had gone, Lily began cleaning up, waving her wand to force everything into place. James took Harry, who had fallen asleep on the couch, to bed. Sirius went into the kitchen under the pretense of getting a drink; when James returned from putting Harry to bed, he still had not emerged.

"What happened to Sirius?"

Lily shrugged. "Violent encounter with the sink?"

James shook his head and laughed. "Yeah, Lil, I'm sure that's it. I'll go help him out of that tight plumbing spot."

James pushed open the kitchen door and walked into the small room. Sirius was sitting at the table with his head in his hands.

"Padfoot?" James asked softly. "Are you all right?"

Sirius looked up with a smile. "Yeah, James, I'm fine," he replied.

"Well, you don't _look_ fine," James replied, sitting down across from him. "What's the problem?"

Sirius shook his head. "I'm just thinking about what I said the other day . . . about how I'm the obvious choice for your Secret Keeper."

"That's why you're going into hiding," James said.

"Yeah, but what if it isn't enough?" Sirius asked. "What if they still manage to find me? I'll never betray you, James – I'd die first. That's the easy part. But what if they _do_ kill me? What happens then? Will the Charm just . . . expire?"

"I don't know," James said uneasily.

"I want to make sure that doesn't happen. I can't handle the idea that you, Lily and Harry would die because of me."

"I trust you, Sirius," James said. "So does Lily. We know you'd never to anything to put us in danger."

"But what if . . .?"

"Don't start that," James said harshly. "We trust you, Sirius. Isn't that enough?"

Sirius nodded slowly. "Go to bed, James. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

"Are you sure you don't need to talk?"

"I'm sure. Go to sleep."

James nodded, rising from his seat. He put his hand on Sirius's shoulder, gripping it tightly. "I trust you, Sirius. You're my brother. You know that, right?"

"And you're mine," Sirius said, looking up at him with a smile. "Good night, James."

"Good night."

* * *

Lily awoke the next morning with butterflies in her stomach. She knew she could do the Charm. She had spent forever trying to perfect it. Both she and Professor Flitwick were certain that she wouldn't have any trouble. Why, then, was she so nervous?

_We're taking a big step_.

It was true. This was the most drastic thing they had ever considered to keep their son safe. She climbed out of bed as quietly as possible so as not to disturb James, and silently left the room. She crossed to the room that had been Remus's, now inhabited by Harry.

She pushed the door open, and entered the room. Harry was sleeping, his breathing deep and even. She smiled as she crossed to his crib to look down at her sleeping baby. His hair, as always, was sticking up in all directions. One small fist was closed around the corner of his yellow baby blanket; the other hand was splayed across the dog that Sirius had given him for his birthday. As she watched him sleep, a wave of love for her little boy washed over her, nearly bringing tears to her eyes.

"I love you so much, Harry," she whispered. "I'll keep you safe, no matter what it takes. Going into hiding isn't so bad if it means that you can grow up without fear. That's what I want for you, sweetheart. I want you to be able to live your life without being afraid of what's around the corner. I want you to be able to grow up without wondering if your best friend is really a Death Eater. I want you to survive this war, and to come out fighting. I want you to be able to _live_. And I want to make sure that you have everything that you deserve." She leaned down to brush a kiss against his forehead. "Mummy loves you, little one. Never forget that."

She stayed with Harry, watching him sleep, until she heard someone else moving around the house. Shaking herself from her musings about her son's future, she stepped silently from his bedroom, closing the door softly behind her.

The hall was empty, but she followed the sound of voices to the kitchen. She pushed open the door, and saw James and Sirius seated at the table. James was waving his wand to make coffee for them both.

"Good morning," she said, crossing to sit down with them.

"Good morning, love," James smiled.

"Hey, Little Flower," Sirius said with an attempt at a smile.

"What's wrong, Sirius?" she asked.

He drew a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair, clutching it as James did when he was upset about something. "We need to talk."

"Uh-oh," Lily said, sinking into a chair at the table. "I don't like the sound of this, Sirius. Are you going to tell us you're backing out?"

"No, not exactly," he said slowly. "Listen, I've been up all night thinking about this, and I think you'll be safer if I'm not your Secret Keeper."

"What do you mean?" Lily asked. "Who'd protect us better than you?"

"You know we trust you, Padfoot," James said.

"It's not that," Sirius said. "Don't you remember what I said yesterday, James? You know that I'd die to protect you. That's not even an issue. The question is, what will happen to the spell if I die? Will it end? Will you still be safe? Or, if it goes the other way, does that mean you'll be in hiding forever? That literally _no one_ will ever be able to find you?"

Lily looked uncomfortable. "I don't know," she answered honestly. "I was so concerned with learning how to do it that I never considered what death would do to it."

Sirius nodded. "I'm not blaming you, Lils. I know that it took a lot just to learn how to do it. I wouldn't expect you to know every possible outcome." He ran his hands over his face. "The fact remains that I will likely be found by the Death Eaters and killed. I'm okay with that, as long as it keeps you safe. But the not knowing . . . James, Lils, I can't do this to you. We need another plan."

"We don't have time for another plan," Lily said nervously. "It took us a long time just to get this one ready to go, and every day that we're in the open puts Voldemort closer to finding and killing Harry."

"I know," Sirius said softly. "I've already come up with another plan, and this one plays off everything we've already done."

"What do you propose?" James asked.

"That you use Peter as your Secret Keeper instead of me."

"Peter?" Lily asked, her eyes open wide. "Why Peter?"

"It's the perfect bluff!" Sirius said, his eyes gleaming with excitement and pride at coming up with this genius plan. "No one would ever think that you'd use him. He's not . . . well, Peter's a good guy, but he's not as strong or as powerful as I am. Voldemort and the Death Eaters would never think that you'd use him. Besides, you told everyone yesterday that I was going to do it, so if anyone else suspects otherwise, our friends, your mum and Dumbledore will set them straight. Don't you see? He'll be completely safe, because no one will ever think that it's him!"

"So you want us to use Peter and to keep it quiet so that everyone still thinks we're using you?" James asked.

"Exactly," Sirius beamed. His smile faded. "We can't risk it getting back to Remus, at any rate. Who knows what he'd do with the information? The three of you and Peter are all far safer if everyone still thinks I'm your Secret Keeper."

"I don't want Peter in trouble over this," Lily said slowly. "He didn't ask for it."

"I'll give him my hiding place," Sirius said casually. "I'll just stay here. No one will ever know, because I wasn't going to let anyone visit me in my hiding place anyway."

"But, Sirius," James said slowly, "are you sure Peter is up to this? I mean, if something did happen . . .?"

"I'll keep an eye on him," Sirius said easily. "I'll go and check on him every day to make sure that he's all right."

"Have you talked to him?"

"No, of course not," Sirius replied. "I would never do that without talking to you first."

James looked at Lily. "What do you think?"

"Sirius makes a good case for Peter," she said slowly. "What do _you_ think?"

"It makes a lot of sense," James replied.

Lily nodded. "You think we should do it, then? Switch to Peter?"

"If you're okay with it."

Lily nodded slowly. "Let's ask him if he'll do it."

Sirius grinned. "I'll go find him right now. We need to get this Charm in motion!"


	56. The Last Chance

A/N: I know, I know. Believe me, the entire "Remus is the evil spy" thing is killing me, too! But that's the way it happened . . . and far be it from me to change it. I hope you like this chapter!

**Mirrorbay2000:** I wasn't sure exactly how old they were supposed to be, only that they died young. Right now, they're 22 or 23.

**Tears 4 Sirius:** Just wanted to say thank you for the sweetest review I've ever gotten! You truly seem to love my characters as much as I do – you're the best!

**Highlandhottie: **I loved the hook ups! Harry's was my favorite, but I loved the Ron/Hermione tension, too. And his other relationship was just hysterical!

**Reader: **Tonks and Lupin rock!

**Irish Silhouette: **They're not dead yet . . . keep reading. I'm definitely going to do an epilogue – I think you'll like the way I have it planned!

**BendYourArmsToLookLikeWings: **Of course he'll laugh. It's what happened. I'm going to write it so that it fits, so no worries!

Thanks for reading and reviewing, everyone! Enjoy!

I don't own Harry Potter.

The Last Chance

_Dear Mrs. Dursley,_

_I am not certain you will remember meeting me on the day of your marriage; though if a lack of memory is the case, I am sure that you will agree that it was in no way related to any action on my part. I am Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School, which your sister, Lily Potter, and her husband James attended. I know that you and I met under the most horrible of circumstances, but the fact remains that we did meet, and that an agreement was struck between us on that day._

_As I am sure you will recall, our agreement allowed you to retain your memories of your wedding day and your parents' tragic deaths in exchange for my protection. This agreement also stated that I have your permission to add conditions as I see fit. The time may well be approaching when I will add a condition._

_You may already be aware of the danger that surrounds your sister and her family. Her son is currently a target of Lord Voldemort, the most evil dark wizard our world has seen in several decades. Lily, James and Harry are planning to go into hiding in order to remain safe. However, if Voldemort is able to achieve his goal, they will all lose their lives. Any and all measures are being taken to prevent such a tragedy. Even so, a chance exists that your sister and her husband could lose their lives in the impending battle, leaving young Harry an orphan. While they would like to have him raised among his peers in the wizarding world, that is, to send him to live with James's mother in the event of their deaths, it is possible that responsibility for his care will fall on your shoulders. _

_I would hope that you would care for Harry as your own son because he is your nephew and your sister's child. However, if that is not enough enticement for you, I would like to remind you of our agreement. Should it be necessary that you take Harry, rest assured that the protection surrounding your family will be multiplied. _

_I hope that I will not need to contact you again about this condition; if things work out as they should, Harry will have his parents to raise him for a great many years to come. I will be in touch as the situation dictates._

_Sincerely,_

_Albus Dumbledore_

Dumbledore read over the letter to Petunia for a second time and nodded. He would send it as a precaution. While he hoped that he would never need to take Harry to live with his aunt, he felt it better if she was prepared for the worst-case scenario. The headmaster nodded a second time, and sealed the parchment scroll. He attached it to his owl's leg and carried him to the open window to release him. He stood and watched as the bird flew away, growing smaller and smaller in the distance. As the owl disappeared from view, he sighed. If only none of this were necessary at all.

* * *

"James? Lily? What's going on?"

James and Lily both jumped up from the couch they had been sitting on as Peter and Sirius Apparated into the living room. Sirius was grinning broadly, but Peter looked completely confused. Lily gave Sirius a look of exasperation.

"You didn't even tell him what this is all about?" she hissed.

"I figured this was the best way to make sure he came," he replied, his grin holding no apology. He shrugged. "We can all tell him together."

"What's going on?" Peter asked again.

"Pe-ter!"

Peter looked down at Harry, who was bouncing his lion against the floorboards. "Hi, Harry," he said with a smile. He looked from the baby back to his friends. "Is someone going to fill me in?"

"Look, Peter, we have a huge favor to ask you," James said. "Do you remember what we said yesterday about the Fidelius Charm?"

"Of course. I'm guessing you haven't done it yet?"

"No, we haven't," James said. "And that would be because Sirius had a huge brainwave around two in the morning, and decided he doesn't want to be our Secret Keeper anymore."

"What?" Peter asked in shock. "Sirius! How can you say no at this point? Why did you change your mind?"

"I'm too obvious," Sirius said without any trace of guilt or shame for bringing his friends to this crisis. "I'd be killed within days, and where would that leave Lily and James?"

"Would that remove the protection?" Peter asked uneasily.

"The thing is, we don't know," James said. "But Sirius doesn't want to risk it."

"I think they'd be better off with a different Secret Keeper," Sirius said.

"Oh," Peter replied. "Well, thanks for letting me know the plan is changing. Does Remus know yet? Is he going to be your Secret Keeper now? Or is your mum?"

"Actually, Peter, we want you to do it."

"Me?" Peter squeaked. The color drained from his face. "No way. No. Sorry. You'll have to ask Remus. I can't."

"Of course you can," Sirius said bracingly. "There's nothing to it! Lily's going to do all the work."

"No, no, I'm sorry, but I just can't."

"Peter, don't be a wimp," Sirius said, his face contorting in annoyance. He couldn't believe Peter would refuse. "You're going to be their Secret Keeper. Don't you see? It's perfect! Everyone thinks that I'm the Secret Keeper, so all the attention will be diverted away from you. You won't be in any danger."

"That's easy for you to say!" Peter said, his voice still oddly high-pitched.

"Look, Wormtail, it's easy," Sirius said, trying for a more cajoling tone. "You'll stay in the hiding place I had arranged for myself. Even if someone thinks to look for you, chances are that they'll never find you. You don't have to do anything. Lily will do the Charm, then they'll be safe and you'll get to be their protector. All the glory is yours!"

"Glory," Peter repeated faintly.

"Come on, Peter, Sirius is right - it's easy," James said, jumping into the struggle to convince Peter to help. "Like Sirius said, Lily's going to do all the hard work. We just have to sit back and let it happen." He glanced at Lily. "I don't think it'll hurt."

"As long as I do it right it shouldn't," she smiled. "Please, Peter, will you do this for us? It would mean so much to me, to James, and even to Harry. We need to stay safe for his sake, and you're the only one who can help us."

"Why can't you ask Remus?" Peter protested feebly.

Sirius's expression darkened. "I think Remus has already _helped_ Lily and James quite enough."

"What are you saying?" Peter asked, looking between his friends. Understanding dawned as he took in their angry expressions. "You think Remus is the spy?" he whispered.

"Something like that," James mumbled. "Look, forget about Remus. He's not important right now. You are. Are you in? Will you help us? Will you be our Secret Keeper?"

_They trust you_. Peter shook his head slightly. How could he do this? How could he betray his friends' trust? They wanted him to help them – they were begging him. And he wanted to help them. He truly did. But if he did this, how long would it be before the Dark Lord realized that he was their Secret Keeper and the key to the Potters? How long would it be before he was forced to betray their trust? They had been his friends – his best friends – for so long. How could he destroy them now?

_You've been destroying them all along. Every time you gave the Dark Lord information about them, you were destroying them. Just finish it, Peter. End it now._

He could finally end this torture, this act as a double agent and informant. This was his way out.

"All right," he said at last. "What do I need to do?"

"Thank you, Peter!" Lily exclaimed. She crossed to hug him, leaning up to kiss his cheek. "I knew you'd help us!"

"Thanks, Peter," James said, shaking his hand. "We won't forget that you did this for us."

"It's not a big deal," Peter mumbled.

"Yes, it is," Sirius said. "You're doing the right thing, Peter. Thank you." He, too, shook Peter's hand. "I'll make sure you stay safe, okay? I won't let them hurt you."

Peter smiled sadly. Sirius had no idea what he was promising. "They" had already hurt him far more than his friends would ever know – and "they" would continue to be a part of his life into the indefinite future.

"Okay," Sirius said, rubbing his hands together, "let's get this going. Lily, do you need anything?"

"Just my wand," she said, taking it out. "James, hold Harry. Okay, now we all need to stand together – James, Harry, Peter and I."

They all stepped close together, and she waved her wand, drawing a glittering golden circle on the floor. She looked up at Sirius with a smile.

"The circle will disappear once the charm is completed."

"Fair enough," he grinned.

"We all need to stay inside the circle the entire time I'm doing the charm," she informed James and Peter. "If one of us leaves it, I'll have to start over. So, no moving until it's done. James, make sure you keep a tight hold on Harry."

"No problem."

"Okay," she said, pushing her hair out of her eyes, "here goes."

She began to wave her wand in complex figure eight-like motions, muttering the ancient words under her breath. Their names were all intertwined with the words of the incantation. Watching her, Sirius realized for perhaps the first time why James had fallen in love with her. There was so much more to Lily than her teasing, cheery exterior. She was more than a good friend, a good wife, a good mother, or a good student. The true depth of her character was apparent as she performed the most complicated charm Sirius had ever witnessed. He had always known that Lily would work hard to accomplish anything she put her mind to – now he knew that she would achieve it.

A bright red light appeared from the tip of Lily's wand, dancing as she continued to move the thin strip of wood. The light splintered and softened, forming a red-gold sphere that encompassed them. Lily waved her wand one last time, making the light reflect in each of their faces. Harry screwed up his face, trying to shield his eyes from the bright light. James murmured something to him, running his hands over the baby's head. Then, as the light faded away, James, Lily and Harry faded from Sirius's vision. He gasped.

"Where did they go?" he asked.

Peter frowned. "You can't see them?"

Comprehension dawned. "That's the point, isn't it? Can you tell me where to find them?"

"Sure." Even though James and Lily had never told him the address, Peter knew it. Marveling at Lily's ability with Charms, he scribbled their new address on a piece of parchment and handed it to Sirius.

As soon as he had read and memorized their new address, James, Lily and Harry appeared before him again. Sirius grinned as he used his wand to burn the parchment bearing their address.

"Little Flower, that was _brilliant_!"

"It worked, then? You couldn't see us?"

"Not at all," he grinned. "I don't know how you did it, but it was incredible!"

Lily smiled, flushing slightly. "It took a lot of work to get it that way."

Sirius shook his head, still clearly impressed. "Come on, let's get you moved into your new house. Oh, and Peter, I want to take you to your new hiding place."

Peter nodded. "I'll need to pack up my stuff."

"Will your mum be okay with you moving?" James asked.

Peter nodded. "I've been working lots of hours recently. I'll just tell her I'm leaving so that I won't disturb her so much, but that I'll come back when my schedule settles down again. She should be all right with that."

Sirius grinned and shook his head. "You should have fed her that story ages ago. You could have moved in with me before!"

Peter looked at Sirius, whose entire face was shining with happiness. He was so totally sure that his brilliant plan would work, and that James and Lily would be safe. Peter swallowed hard.

"I'll be back in a bit. I just need to pack and talk to my mum."

"I'll wait for you here," Sirius said. "Good luck with your mum."

"Thanks," Peter said with a smile. _I'm going to need the luck with far more than my mum_.

* * *

James and Lily spent the majority of the day arranging their new house. While it was smaller than their house in Muggle London, it was, as Lily described it, "sweet." The front door opened into a small foyer that led to the stairs. A living room was to the right, with the dining room directly behind it. A hall that led out of the foyer led to the kitchen and a small room that Lily had decided would be Harry's playroom. This room had a fireplace that had access to the Floo network. A second Floo-equipped fireplace was found on the second floor, in the master bedroom. The second story also held two smaller bedrooms. The larger of the two was chosen for Harry, while the second would serve as a guest room.

"Not that we'll have many guests," James commented as he waved his wand to assemble the guest bed. "No one can even find us!"

"Maybe Sirius will stay overnight sometime," Lily said as she hung curtains in the window. She glanced around the room. "Where's Harry?"

"I don't know," James said uncertainly. "Did you put up the charms to make sure he can't fall down the stairs?"

"No, I haven't had a chance yet," Lily said nervously. "But we would have heard him fall, right?"

"I think so," James said, sounding rather unsure. "Let's go find him."

They left the bedroom and began walking through the house, calling for the baby. Just as Lily was starting to panic in spite of herself, she heard James laugh.

"Come down here, Lil," he called. "I've found him."

Lily rushed down the stairs, following the sound of James's voice to the back room that would soon become a playroom. James was standing next to an open box of toys with a grin on his face.

"Look at this," he said softly.

Lily crossed to join him, and looked down. The box was one that she had opened in preparation for arranging the playroom, but had left to make dinner. Harry had found the open box and dug through it, scattering his toys all over the floor. He had managed to find his favorite lion and dog, which he was now curled up with, fast asleep. His head was pillowed against the lion's stomach, and the dog that looked so like Sirius's Animagus form was held tightly against his chest. Lily felt her panic melt away as she looked down at her sleeping son.

"I suppose we should have been paying attention to how late it is," she whispered. "Look at the poor little guy. He's completely exhausted."

"Moving and becoming completely untraceable are tough," James grinned. He bent down to scoop the baby up into his arms. "Let's take him up to bed."

They both went upstairs to Harry's new bedroom, Lily carrying the toys that Harry had been sleeping on. They changed the baby into his pajamas before putting him in his bed. His eyes fluttered, but he never truly woke. Lily put the toys into the crib as James laid the baby down. Harry rolled over, but didn't try to grab his stuffed animals. Lily and James watched him for a moment, then stepped quietly out of the room.

"I feel like an awful mother," Lily sighed. "I can't believe I didn't realize how late it was. He should have gone to bed ages ago."

"He's fine," James smiled, taking her hand and lacing his fingers through hers. "No one has ever died from staying up too late."

Lily looked at him in disbelief and rolled her eyes. James laughed.

"We'll make sure he gets to bed on time tomorrow."

"I suppose that will have to do," Lily replied. "Do you want to finish the guest room?"

"I'd much rather just spend some time with you," James grinned, kissing the hand he held. "We have forever to get the house perfect. Let's go downstairs and take some time just for us."

"Time just for us," Lily smiled, looking up at him with starry eyes. "We haven't done that in so long."

"The downfall of being parents," James laughed.

They went into the kitchen, where Lily waved her wand to heat some apple cider. James laughed when she gave him a steaming mug.

"Apple cider? That's not exactly romantic."

"But it is seasonal," Lily said, putting a cinnamon stick into each of their mugs. "Do you realize that Halloween is at the end of this week?"

James nodded, taking a sip of his drink. "I'm really going to miss being at work for that."

"Ah," Lily nodded. "The feast was always the best part of the holiday."

James nodded again as he led her from the kitchen to the living room. They sat down together on the couch, and, putting their drinks on the coffee table, laced their fingers together again.

"Are you going to miss it terribly?" Lily asked after a moment of silence.

"The feast?"

"Hogwarts. Your job."

James didn't speak for a moment as he considered his answer. "You know," he said at last, "I never knew what I wanted to do with my life. I pretty much fell into this job without knowing what I was getting into or ever even thinking that it was something I'd want to do. But, now that I can't do it for a little while . . . Yeah, I'm going to miss it."

"I'm sorry, James," Lily said quietly.

"I'll go back to it when things calm down again," he shrugged.

"But still . . ."

"You gave up your job ages ago," he said softly. "I suppose it's time that I had to face what you've been facing since Harry was born." He sighed. "But if it keeps Harry safe, I will never once complain about a day's missed work."

"Anything for Harry," Lily agreed.

"Right," James smiled. He kissed her cheek. "What happened to taking time for _us_?"

"Everything goes back to Harry, doesn't it?" Lily grinned.

"He's an incredible little guy," James grinned. "Even Dumbledore thinks so."

"Everyone does." She shook her head. "We're still on Harry."

"Well, I guess there's only one way to fix that."

"Oh? What's that?"

James grinned at her, and leaned over to capture her lips with his. They kissed for what felt like forever, sinking lower and lower on the couch. James finally pulled away, and Lily smiled up at him.

"That was incredible. Why did you stop?"

"Time for a change of scenery," James replied, standing up.

"What?" Lily asked, struggling to sit up straight again. "What are you talking about?"

James grinned and held out a hand to help her to her feet. "What do you say we go upstairs and break in our new bedroom?"

Lily giggled and accepted the offered hand. Once on her feet, she leaned up to kiss him again. James grinned against her lips, and pulled her closer, kissing her deeply. When he pulled away, he looked down at her with shining eyes and a soft smile.

"Come on," he said, taking her hand and leading her upstairs.

* * *

"My Lord, we have been unable to locate the Potters for two days now."

Voldemort slammed his palm down onto the top of his desk. "How is that possible, Snape? How can you have lost them so easily?"

"It's not just that they are 'lost,' my Lord," Snape replied smoothly. "We have reason to believe that they have used a Fidelius Charm to make themselves invisible to us."

"A Fidelius Charm," Voldemort repeated softly. "That does not make them invisible, it merely makes them more difficult to find. The question that remains is the identity of their Secret Keeper. Who do you think they may have chosen?"

"The obvious choice is Sirius Black, my Lord," Snape replied. "He is James Potter's best friend, and both Potters trust him beyond reason."

"Black," Voldemort nodded slowly. "Yes, he is a possibility, but perhaps too obvious a choice. Who else might they have used?"

"Perhaps Dumbledore?" Snape said, hoping that he was wrong. The last thing he needed was for Voldemort to go to Hogwarts on his information.

"Dumbledore . . . yes, he is another they may have used. But have they no family?"

"Lily's family are Muggles," Snape replied. "They could not be used for the charm, my Lord."

"No, they could not use Muggles," Voldemort agreed, his face contorting as he said the word. "What of James? Does he have family still living? I know we were able to destroy his father, but what of his mother?"

"She is still living, my Lord."

Voldemort nodded, his red eyes gleaming. "Find her for me. She will lead me to her son."

* * *

Margaret Potter had become accustomed to eating alone. During those first horrible days after her husband's death, she had flat-out refused to eat, not willing to do so alone. But James had been wonderful, coming to see her so often, always during mealtimes, that she had had no choice but to eat. But his visits had tapered off with time, and she had been left alone to struggle through eating by herself. For several months, she had only eaten in the sitting room, unwilling to eat in the dining room, as their family always had. Then, she had progressed to eating in the kitchen with Hetty. It wasn't until after Harry's first birthday that she had been able to eat in the dining room again.

Once she had eaten one meal alone in the dining room, Hetty would not hear of her eating anywhere else. The elf had seemed relieved to have some return to the life she had always known. More to keep Hetty happy than for any other reason, Mrs. Potter continued eating in the dining room. Now, three days after James and his wife and son had gone into hiding, she finished her solitary dinner and stood to her feet. She started to gather the plates, only to have a small elf looking at her reproachfully.

"Mistress knows that Hetty will carry the dishes," Hetty said, giving her a mild scolding.

"Oh, Hetty, you know just as well that I'm going to help you whether you like it or not," Mrs. Potter smiled. "Here, you carry half and I'll carry the other half."

Together, the woman and her house-elf carried the dishes into the kitchen, where they began cleaning up together. Hetty had been forced to accept more and more help from her mistress following Mr. Potter's death. The extra hours without anyone else in the house meant that Mrs. Potter spent more time in the elf's company. Because Hetty was always working, the easiest thing for Mrs. Potter to do was to assist her. Even though Hetty was disturbed that they had crossed this master-elf barrier, she had come to understand that it was part of their life together without Mr. Potter.

Footsteps sounded outside the house, coming up the back walk. Mrs. Potter frowned slightly.

"Hetty, I didn't tell you that I was expecting company this evening, did I?" she asked.

"No, Mistress!" Hetty exclaimed. "Could it be Master James?"

"No, James and Lily would certainly have told me if they were coming to visit. It could be Sirius, though. Go and see who it is, will you, Hetty?"

"Yes, Mistress!"

Hetty flung the door open, and a high-pitched cackle met her ears. Her eyes widened at the sight of the man on the doorstep, whose red eyes shone from the depths of a black hooded cape.

"A house-elf. How utterly charming. _Avada Kedavra_."

Mrs. Potter shrieked as Hetty's small body fell to the ground. Her eyes flew from the lifeless body of her beloved house-elf to the man wielding the wand that had killed her.

"You!" she exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for your grandson," Voldemort replied as he entered the house, stepping over Hetty's body. "Where is he?"

"You're going to have to keep looking," Mrs. Potter replied bravely, pulling her wand from her pocket. "He's not here."

"I'm sure he's not," Voldemort replied. "But I'm sure you can tell me where to find him and his parents."

"No, I can't," Mrs. Potter replied, relief flooding her body. She didn't care if this man killed her, but she was incredibly grateful that James had not asked her to be their Secret Keeper. The fact that she could not tell Voldemort where to find her son's family would be the very thing that would keep them alive.

"What do you mean?" Voldemort snarled. "Do not play games with me, Mrs. Potter. Tell me where your grandson and his parents are hiding, and I will leave you in peace. You will remain unharmed."

"I'm sorry, but that's not a deal I'm willing to accept," she replied angrily. "Sell out my grandson, my son and my daughter-in-law to keep myself safe? Oh, no, I don't think so. Even if I could tell you where they are, I certainly wouldn't accept such terms!"

"Who wouldn't accept those terms?" Voldemort asked softly. "Who would not choose life over a potentially painful death?"

"Anyone who is being asked to trade the lives of those they love above all others for their own."

Voldemort gave a screech of rage, and waved his wand. "_Crucio_!"

Mrs. Potter shrieked in pain as she fell to the floor. Even after Voldemort lifted the curse, she continued to shake.

"Are you ready to tell me where they are now?"

"Bastard," she replied. "Haven't you been listening? _I don't know_ where they are! I couldn't tell you even if I wanted to!"

"I know that they are being protected by a Fidelius Charm," Voldemort said. "And I know that you are their Secret Keeper."

"You have been desperately misinformed," she replied, clambering to her feet. "I am certainly not their Secret Keeper."

"Oh, really?" Voldemort looked deeply into her eyes.

She glared at him as she blocked his access to her mind. He laughed softly.

"You think a small amount of talent with Occulmency makes you impervious to my abilities? You are quite wrong."

He delved into her mind again, strengthening his spell. She again blocked his efforts; he retaliated by working stronger against her. At last, his ability overcame hers; he was granted access to her thoughts.

"You have been honest with me," he murmured, breaking the connection.

Mrs. Potter looked at him, her eyes glassy. "Are you happy?" she asked, her voice raspy from the effort of blocking Voldemort from her mind. "Will you go now and leave me in peace?"

"Oh, no, I'm afraid I couldn't do that," he said with a twisted smile. He raised his wand.

"_Stupefy_!" she yelled.

He laughed as he deflected the spell. "You shouldn't fear death, you know," he said. "After all, it is only a matter of time before I discover your son's hiding place. You will die today, but you will be joined by your dear family before long."

She looked at him with pure hate. "_Crucio_!"

This spell had the desired affect. Surprise mingled with the agony on his face as he yelled in pain; perhaps he had not thought her capable of casting the Unforgivable Curse. He was able to throw it off after a moment, and gave her a look of loathing.

"You and your family have been problems to me for far too long," he hissed. "_Avada Kedavra_!"

As she saw the jet of green light speeding toward her, she reached up to grasp the necklace that she always wore, the one that her husband had given to her on their last Christmas together. Her last thought before the green messenger of death hit her was of her husband, and her love for him.

She was still clutching her necklace as her lifeless body fell to the ground.

* * *

Voldemort gave a shriek of rage as he Apparated back into his headquarters. A masked Death Eater was sitting outside his office, awaiting an audience with his master.

"My Lord," he said, scrambling to his feet, "if you have but a moment . . ."

"I do not," Voldemort hissed. "Leave me."

"Yes, my Lord," the man said, turning to walk away.

"Wait," Voldemort said after a moment's pause. "Come here."

The man turned again quickly, stepping closer to the Dark Lord. "Yes, my Lord?"

"Give me your arm."

"Are you planning a meeting, my Lord?" he asked as he pushed up his sleeve to reveal the Dark Mark that had been branded into his skin.

"No, I only need one Death Eater now," Voldemort replied, pressing his fingers into the Mark. "I need Peter Pettigrew."


	57. The Final Confrontation

A/N: Okay, first I have to give a shout-out to my hometown of Pittsburgh. In the first scene, Harry uses "pitcher" to say "picture." That is totally commonly accepted speech where I live! Although I don't use it, plenty of people do.

Next . . . Despite the title, this is _not_ the last chapter. There are several more to follow. I should have the next one done soon.

Fair warning: I made myself cry with this chapter. It's a tough one. Thanks for reading and reviewing . . . I hope you like the way I've handled this!

I don't own Harry Potter, and I really don't own _Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban_. Some dialogue in the final scene of the chapter is taken from pages 179 and 240 of the American hardback edition. All credit is given to JK Rowling, her publishers, and anyone else who has ownership of the words.

The Final Confrontation

"Okay, Harry, what would you like for dinner tonight? Chicken or beef?" Lily asked, as she stood in the kitchen, trying to decide what to cook.

"Beef!" Harry replied confidently.

"All right, then, beef it is," Lily smiled. She kissed the top of the baby's head as she passed the table where he was sitting in his booster seat to color. "Thank you for helping me decide what to make."

"Welcome," he replied cheerfully, not looking up from his drawing.

"What are you making?" she asked, looking down at the picture.

"Pitcher," he said, still coloring.

"Yes, I can see that. Is that Daddy?" she asked, referring to the blob of color that seemed to have the most black at the top of it.

"Yes."

"And is this Mummy?" she asked, now pointing to the red-topped patch of color.

"Yes," he said again. "Harry here."

"I see you," she smiled, looking at the smallest blob, which was also topped with a great deal of black. "You're a very good artist, Harry."

He smiled. "I love you, Mummy."

"I love you, too, sweetheart," she said, kissing him again. "I'm going to go make dinner now, okay? I'll be right here in the kitchen with you."

"'Kay."

James came in from the attic, where he had been storing boxes of the toys and clothes that Harry had outgrown. He smiled, noting that both Harry and Lily were absorbed in their work; neither had noticed him walk into the room. He came up behind Lily, and put his arms around her. She screamed and jumped in alarm. Harry jumped at the sound of his mother's scream, knocking his crayons all over the floor.

"James!" Lily yelled, whirling around to face him. "What are you doing?"

"Scaring you," he grinned. He kissed her cheek. "Hello, darling."

"Don't give me that," she said, rolling her eyes. She glanced at Harry, and saw the spilled crayons around him. She waved her wand to recollect them onto the table.

"Thanks!" Harry called.

"You're welcome, Harry," she replied. She looked at James with annoyance. "Is there any particular reason you wanted to scare me to death?"

"I never said I wanted to scare you to _death_," he replied. "And if that was my goal, I'd say I've done a pretty poor job of it. You still look quite alive to me."

"Alive enough for this," she said, snapping the towel she was holding at him.

"Ouch!" he exclaimed as she hit him. "That hurt!"

"Serves you right. Never scare a person with a towel in her hands if she grew up with siblings. I guarantee she's had towel-snapping battles."

Now it was James's turn to roll his eyes. "Everything's stored upstairs," he said by way of changing the topic.

"Good." She smiled. "If your mother has her way, we'll be dragging it down again before too long."

"She does want another grandchild, doesn't she?"

"She's been hinting a bit."

"You'd think she'd be happy with Harry. She was happy enough just to have me as a child."

Lily rolled her eyes again. "Don't go getting too full of yourself, now, Potter. She was quite eager to adopt Sirius and I, wasn't she?"

James made a face at her. "Shut it."

Lily laughed, and kissed his cheek. "You know I love you."

"And I love you," he replied. "What are we having for dinner?"

"Something that involves beef."

"Beef?"

"Harry's choice," she smiled. "I just haven't decided what to do with it yet."

"I'll take the hint to get out of your way," James laughed. He crossed to sit down at the table with his son. "Hey, Harry. What are you making?"

"Pitcher," Harry said without looking up at his father.

Lily smiled at her two boys, and returned to her cooking.

* * *

In the days following James and Lily going into hiding, Sirius took his promise to protect Peter very seriously. He felt a great deal of responsibility for Peter's well-being after giving up the post of Secret Keeper and essentially forcing him to take on the job. Peter had not wanted to do it, but had chosen to agree for the sake of their shared friends. Sirius knew that it would be very poor repayment for Peter's selflessness if he now gave up on his own assurances to make sure that Peter remained safe.

And so, during his office shift with Olivia, he kept looking at his watch. He had arranged to check on Peter that evening, and wanted to be sure that he was on time for their appointment. After he looked at his watch for the tenth time in as many minutes, Olivia threw down her quill.

"Honestly, Sirius, is there somewhere you'd rather be?"

"What are you talking about?" he asked, trying to look at innocent as possible.

"You've looked at your watch about a hundred times since we got here. Do you have some hot date I should know about?"

Sirius grinned. "Yeah, her name is Trixie, and she's a blond bombshell from the United States. You know what they say about those American girls . . ."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Right. I totally believe you."

"What? You don't think Trixie the American blond bombshell would want me?"

She gave him a seductive grin. "You've got your own blond bombshell right here."

Sirius grinned. "Don't try to seduce me at work, Alexander. You know how little self-control I have, and there's an unreasonably high possibility that your brother could walk in on us."

Olivia laughed. "Seriously, what's with the obsession with the time?"

"I have an appointment with Peter," Sirius confessed.

"An appointment with Peter? Since when did he become a member of the Wizengamot? Last time I checked, you didn't need to set a time to meet with him."

"You know how his work schedule has been recently. This is the only time we can get together, and we need to go over some stuff for the wedding – like whether or not he's going to be in it."

"Sirius!" she exclaimed. "You haven't asked him yet?"

"I've had a lot on my mind!" Sirius said defensively.

"Go!" Olivia said, waving her hand toward the door. "Go ask him now! For goodness sake, Sirius, you procrastinate more than I do!"

Sirius laughed as he got to his feet. "That's high praise coming from you." He crossed the room and bent down to kiss her. "I'll be back soon."

"I'll cover for you if Moody needs us."

"Thanks," Sirius replied. He took his keys out of his pocket. "I'm going to ride my bike over."

"Wouldn't it be faster to Apparate?"

"It would . . . but then I'd be back at work sooner."

Olivia rolled her eyes again. "You are horrible."

"And you love it."

"I love you."

"I love you, too." He kissed her again, then left the office, closing the door behind him.

That had been easier than he had thought. Now he just had to get over to Peter's, make sure everything was fine, and get back to work before anyone noticed that he was gone.

* * *

Sirius had only been gone for three minutes when Moody banged into their office. Olivia glanced up from her paperwork before greeting her visitor; a lucky chain of events, as her intention had been to mock Sirius for coming back so quickly.

"Moody," she said instead, trying to keep any guilt from her face. "Problems?"

"Yes," he said, looking uncharacteristically disturbed. "Where's Sirius?"

"Around somewhere," Olivia said vaguely. "I don't think he said exactly where he was going."

"Damn. I wanted to tell you together. Well, I'll let you know now, and then you tell him as soon as he sets foot in this office."

"What's going on?" Olivia asked, beginning to feel her nerves shake. Moody was never so dire in his instructions. "Did something happen to James and Lily?"

"No – not yet. But Margaret Potter has been attacked."

"What?" Olivia exclaimed, extremely glad she was sitting down. She grabbed the arms of her chair. "What happened? Is she all right?"

"No, Olivia, she's not," Moody said, sitting down in the open chair across her desk. "She's dead. She was hit with the Killing Curse."

All the color drained from Olivia's face as she gave a cry of pain. "Does James know?"

"No. That's why we need Sirius; we need to be able to tell him. No one can get a message to the boy without Sirius telling them where to find him."

"He's their Secret Keeper . . ." Olivia muttered. "Is that why they went for Mrs. Potter? They thought she was the Secret Keeper?"

"We think so," Moody replied. "Both she and her house-elf were killed. We think that Voldemort himself may have been involved. They were very clean murders – almost _too_ clean for a regular Death Eater."

"Where is she . . . her body . . . now?"

"Still at the house. The entire area is being treated as a crime scene. We have quite a few Aurors there."

"Can I go?"

"You want to see that?"

"I – I don't _want_ to, but I _need_ to."

Moody nodded. "Go, then. And take Black with you, if you can find him. Tell him that it's his responsibility to tell James and Lily what's happened."

"I will," Olivia replied.

Moody nodded again, and left the office. Olivia waited half a second, then pulled her summoning globe from her pocket, tapping it with her wand. She had to get Sirius to Mrs. Potter's house. She had to be the one to tell him that his surrogate mother was gone. She couldn't let him hear it from someone else.

* * *

Sirius was nearly to Peter's house when he felt the globe in his pocket grow warm and vibrate. He pulled it out and looked at it distractedly, trying to make sure that he didn't crash his motorbike. When he saw the address scrolling across it, followed by the message "urgent," he nearly dropped it. Putting the globe safely back into his pocket, he veered right to change his course. He could keep Peter waiting. Mrs. Potter needed him far more.

He raced to the house he had spent so many hours in with his heart pounding. He didn't have any details or any idea of what to expect. He had to get there. He had to know that James's mother was okay.

"She's fine," he told himself over and over. "She's okay. She has to be. Harry needs his grandma. James needs his mother. I need . . . She's going to be fine."

Even though he was certain that Mrs. Potter was fine, he accelerated. He had to get there. He had to see her, to know for himself what had happened to merit an urgent summons.

* * *

Peter was bored. He had exhausted almost every diversion he had in his small, new home. All that were left were the shelves of books, and he was not in the mood to sit quietly and read. He wanted to be out somewhere, doing something. He was actually starting to miss work.

He glanced at the clock. It was nearly eight o'clock, the time that Sirius had promised to be there. He smiled slightly. At least Sirius's visit would provide a break from the monotony. Maybe he would stay and chat for awhile. He had every other time he had come to visit.

The burning pain in his arm caught him off-guard. He grabbed it instinctively as the order to Apparate to Voldemort's office filled his mind. What could the Dark Lord want with him? He had given a report less than a week ago, and had not been given any new assignments since then. Why would he want to see him again so soon? Not unless . . .

"No," he whispered, his eyes growing wide with fear. "He can't know. Not yet. Not so soon."

Staying home worrying wasn't going to get him any answers to any questions. He Disapparated before he had time to change his mind.

* * *

"Okay, Harry, you've learned a little bit about each element of the game, but it's time to put them all together. Listen, here's how it works," James said, taking out all the toy Quidditch equipment he had collected for Harry.

Harry sat down on the floor next to James, providing him a rapt audience. The baby loved to play with his Quidditch toys with his daddy. Lily, who was lying on the couch reading the Daily Prophet, lowered her paper to watch the interaction between her husband and son. James lifted the red Quaffle from the floor.

"You know what this is, right?"

"Kaffle!" Harry said enthusiastically.

"Right, the Quaffle," James replied. "We've talked about this before, I know. We said that we have to throw it, remember? Well, the people on the team who throw it are called the Chasers. There are three Chasers on the team, and they toss the Quaffle to one another and try to score with it. To score, they throw it through one of these." He paused to pick up Harry's toy goal post, and put the ball through it. "See, if I had thrown this through without the Keeper stopping it, I would have won ten points for my team."

"Daddy was a Chaser at Hogwarts," Lily said.

"Daddy – Chaser?" Harry said, his eyes wide.

"Yes, he was a Chaser for the Gryffindor team," Lily elaborated. "He and Auntie Olivia were two of the best Chasers Gryffindor ever had."

"Daddy best!" Harry enthused.

"Daddy likes Quidditch a lot, and Daddy would like it if we could continue," James laughed. "I was very, very good, Harry, but there were definitely players who were better than me."

"Did I just hear some modesty?" Lily asked, clapping her hands to her chest in mock shock. "I must be hallucinating!"

James laughed, and threw the Quaffle at her. She caught it, and threw it back.

"See that, Harry?" he asked. "That's what the Chasers do with the Quaffle. They toss it around just like that!"

"I thought we were using it as a weapon?" Lily laughed.

"Teachable moment, Lil," James laughed. He shook his head, and picked up the toy Snitch. "What's this?" he asked as he tapped it with his wand.

"Stitch!" Harry replied, reaching for it.

"Wait, wait," James said gently. "The Seeker has to find this to end the game and win his or her team extra points."

"Stitch, stitch!" Harry cried, straining to take the ball from James's hands.

"Okay, okay, I see that you want to play," James laughed. He released the Snitch, letting it zoom around. "Okay, try to get it!"

Harry looked for a moment, then grabbed it as it zoomed past his head. He chuckled as he looked at the ball in his hands, then released it, letting it fly around again. He began to chase it around the room, catching and releasing it over and over.

"He loves that thing," Lily smiled.

"He does, doesn't he?" James agreed with a grin. "I should have held it for last. We didn't get to go over Bludgers."

Lily laughed. "Well, there's a tragedy."

James grinned, and watched his son for a moment. "I'll bet he'll be a great Seeker."

"Ah, for Gryffindor, right?"

"Naturally," James grinned. "And Sirius and Olivia will have children soon; theirs will be the Beaters."

"Not the Chasers?"

James laughed. "I'm sure that any child of Sirius's would be better suited to be a Beater."

Lily laughed with him, then sat up quickly as Harry nearly fell into an end table. "Keep an eye on him if you're going to let him do that, James."

Harry had righted himself and was chasing the Snitch again. James turned from Lily to watch him more closely.

"He'll be fine," James said soothingly. "All the best Seekers took a few knocks chasing their toy Snitches as babies."

Lily shook her head, and hit him with her paper. "What if he turns out to be completely uncoordinated? It's possible, you know – I _am_ his mother."

James pretended to think for a moment, then laughed. "I'll love him just as much as I do now – just like I love you."

* * *

Peter was shaking as he was escorted into Voldemort's office. He clasped his hands together in an effort to hide how much they were trembling.

"You wanted to see me, my Lord?"

"Yes, Peter," Voldemort said, sitting up straight in his chair. "It has come to my attention that you have been withholding information from me yet again."

"In-information, my Lord?" Peter stammered.

"Yes, vital information," Voldemort said softly, his voice quite controlled. "You neglected to tell me that the Potters had gone into hiding using the Fidelius Charm. You further neglected your duties by not revealing the identity of their Secret Keeper."

"I – I d-don't know what . . ."

"You know very well what I'm talking about," Voldemort hissed, leaning forward. "You will tell me how I can find the Potters, Pettigrew, and you will tell me right now."

"My Lord, I . . ."

"Have I not made this perfectly clear in the past, Peter?" Voldemort asked, picking up his wand. "Have I not told you repeatedly that any lapse in your performance will mean problems for you? Have I not explained all that I am capable of?"

"No, my Lord, I know what you can do," Peter said quickly, his shaking becoming more pronounced. "It's just . . ."

"Are you worried about your friends at last, Peter?" Voldemort said with a laugh. "You have been giving me information about them for over a year, yet now, when they are in hiding, you suddenly become reluctant to share your knowledge? Why is that, I wonder?"

Peter tried desperately to look away before it was too late, but was not fast enough. Voldemort dove into his mind, searching for information.

"Peter, you have withheld more than I ever dreamed," Voldemort hissed, his eyes shining with an odd combination of fury and excitement. "You never thought to tell me that _you_ are their Secret Keeper."

"My Lord, please . . ."

"Tell me where to find them, Peter."

"Please . . ." Peter begged again.

Voldemort laughed cruelly. "Yes, Peter, this is the point that we have come to. You finally have the information that will allow me to destroy Harry Potter, yet you seem to have recently developed a conscience. Well, well, this will never do. Perhaps you need a bit of persuasion. _Crucio_."

Peter fell to the floor, shrieking in pain. He just wanted it to be over, he wanted the pain to end. He would do anything . . .

"Please," he gasped, shrieking again. "Please, make it stop! Please!"

"It will end when you are ready to talk," Voldemort hissed furiously.

Peter shrieked again. "Please!"

"You know," Voldemort said, never removing his wand from Peter, "people have been known to go mad from over-exposure to this very curse. If you force me to continue on with this, you may become insane. Or, beyond insanity, it may kill you. But if you are prepared to sacrifice yourself for your friends like that, by all means, continue to bear the pain. How very noble of you."

"Please!" Peter shrieked. "Please, I'll tell you . . . I'll do anything . . . don't kill me! Please, make it stop!"

Voldemort instantly ended the curse. Peter lay facedown on the floor, crying and shaking from the pain he had endured. Voldemort smiled at him.

"You always have to make things so difficult, Peter. I am beginning to think you have a weakness for dramatics. Very well, the curse has been lifted. Tell me where I can find the Potters."

Still shaking, Peter pushed himself up so that he could look at the Dark Lord. He rattled off the Potters' address, watching the excited smile that lit his master's features when he had finished.

"Thank you, Peter," Voldemort said, standing up and sweeping his wand into his pocket. "You are free to go. I have a murder to commit."

The Dark Lord Disapparated, leaving Peter alone on his office floor. His arms, which were still shaking uncontrollably, collapsed. Peter fell on his face again. He took deep breaths for a moment as the events of the previous fifteen minutes took their toll on his mind.

"My God," he whispered. "I've done it. I've destroyed James and Lily. I've destroyed Harry. I've destroyed . . . so much."

He finally managed to bring himself up again, eventually pulling himself into a standing position. He was still trying to work through all that he had done as moved to the door. As he stumbled out of the Dark Lord's office, he only had one coherent thought, a thought he hadn't had in so long . . . possibly never before in his life . . .

_My father would be so proud._

* * *

An intense feeling of foreboding filled Sirius as he approached Mrs. Potter's house. Swarms of Aurors surrounded the place, talking seriously to one another. But, despite all the Aurors, he couldn't find the one woman he needed to see. He landed his bike, and took off toward the house at a run.

"Mrs. Potter?" he called. "Are you here?"

"Sirius!"

He turned to see Olivia running toward him. For the first time, he was disappointed to see her. "I thought you were James's mum," he said, smiling slightly. "Were you the one to call me here, then?"

"Yes," she said tensely. "Moody came in right after you had left. Sirius, there's something you need to know –"

"Have you seen Mrs. Potter?" Sirius asked. "I got really worried when I got your message. I just want to make sure she's all right before we go do whatever Moody wants us to do."

"Sirius . . ." Olivia trailed off, and took a deep breath. She took his hands in hers. "There's something you need to know."

"What is it?" he asked, frightened by the sorrow in her eyes and voice. "What's going on, Liv?"

"Sirius, Mrs. Potter is . . . she's gone."

"What do you mean, 'gone?'" Sirius asked. "She wasn't here when this happened?"

"No, Sirius, I mean she was hit with the Killing Curse. I mean she's _gone_."

Sirius sucked in his breath quickly, and bit his lower lip. He blinked rapidly. "No," he said softly. "No, Liv, she can't be gone. James needs his mother. _I_ need her. She can't have just . . . _died_."

"I'm sorry, Sirius," Olivia said, a tear shaking loose from her eye and making its was down her cheek. "I know you loved her like she was your mother, too, but she's . . . there's nothing we can do anymore."

"Is she here?" Sirius asked, choking the words past the lump that was forming in his throat.

"Yes, she's still in the kitchen, where they found her."

"I need to see her."

"I know. I'll come with you."

They walked around to the back of the house hand-in-hand. The kitchen door was open, and several Aurors were in the room, examining the scene as they tried to recreate the crime.

"Can you give us a minute?" Olivia asked as she and Sirius approached.

"Sure," one of them said, standing up straight. "We could use a break. Let us know when you're done."

After the others had left, Sirius and Olivia moved forward. Sirius stopped short as his eyes fell on Hetty's silent form just inside the door.

"My God," he muttered. "They killed Hetty, too?"

Olivia nodded silently, squeezing his hand gently.

Sirius continued forward, dragging Olivia with him. He stopped beside Mrs. Potter's body, and dropped Olivia's hand to kneel down next to her.

"How could this have happened?" he asked, the tears welling up in his eyes as he looked at the still body of the closest thing to a loving mother he had ever known. "We all love you so much, we all need you so much . . ."

"Do you want me to go?" Olivia asked uneasily.

"No, please stay," Sirius said without looking up. He buried his face in his hands as the sobs shook his body. It was really true. She was really gone.

Olivia came up behind him and wrapped her arms around him. He leaned back against her, still trying to control his tears. He had never imagined that it would be so hard to see Mrs. Potter like this – but he had also never dreamed that he _would_ see her like this.

After several moments, he managed to stop crying. He wiped his hands across his face to remove the traces of his tears, and looked down at Mrs. Potter again.

"Why would they go after her? What good would it do? She was a pure-blood; she didn't have any information they needed . . ."

"Moody said they think that it was Voldemort, not a Death Eater," Olivia provided.

"Voldemort?" Sirius asked, looking up at her. "Why would he want to kill her?"

"They think that he thought that she was James and Lily's Secret Keeper," she said softly.

"But how – why would they think that?" Sirius asked, frowning deeply. "They were supposed to think that it was me. That was the plan. If everyone thought that it was me, she'd be safe."

"How would they know it was you, Sirius?" Olivia asked shakily. "You only told us – me, Remus, Peter, Dumbledore and Mrs. Potter. Why would you think that the Death Eaters would know it was you?"

"But of course it got back to them," he said.

"Well, they certainly know about the Fidelius Charm," Olivia said. "Everyone knows about that. But how would they know . . .?"

"We made sure Remus was there," Sirius said almost to himself. "We made sure he knew . . ."

"What does Remus have to do with this?" Olivia asked in confusion. "Sirius, come on, let's get out of here. You're not making any sense. You don't need to see this, I shouldn't have brought you . . ."

Sirius's eyes widened as everything fell into place in his mind. Remus wasn't the spy – he couldn't be. If he had been the spy, he would have been sure to send Voldemort after Sirius, thinking that he was the Secret Keeper. He would never have sent him after James's mother. Giving false information to Voldemort would be cause for his death. Sirius, James and Lily had been wrong – so very wrong. It had never been Remus who had been hurting them, giving away information about them . . . and that only left one person who could be the spy . . . _Peter_ . . .

He raised his head to look at Olivia with a stunned expression. "My God, Olivia, I've made a terrible mistake."

"Sirius, what are you talking about?" she asked. "Come on, let's go. You need to be away from here . . ."

"You're right," Sirius said, standing so quickly that Olivia was forced to jump back so that he didn't step on her. "I need to find Peter."

"Peter?" Olivia asked in confusion. "First Remus, now Peter . . . Listen, Sirius, I know you want to tell the guys what's happened, but you need to tell James first."

"James . . ." Sirius's eyes widened in fear. "Yes, I need to get to James. But I have to see Peter first." He took off at a run, sprinting back to his motorbike.

"Sirius, wait!" Olivia yelled, struggling to keep up with him. "What are you on about?"

Sirius stopped at his bike and looked back just as she caught up to him. "I need to tell him," he said.

"Okay," Olivia said, stepping back. "James should hear about his mother from you. Do you want me to come?"

"No, I need to do this alone," Sirius replied. He looked at her for a moment. "I love you, Liv."

"I love you, too," she replied.

He leaned down and kissed her. "I'll love you forever, you know that, right?"

"Yeah . . . of course . . . I'll always love you, too . . ."

Sirius grinned. "Good. I'll see you soon, love."

He jumped on his bike and slammed down on the accelerator. He had to get to Peter's hiding place before Voldemort did.

* * *

If Lily had thought that by giving Harry a playroom she would eliminate having toys strewn throughout her house, she was sadly mistaken. His toys seemed to make it into every corner of their new home within days of moving in. Harry took to moving himself to the toys rather than moving the toys back into the playroom; for this reason, all three Potters found themselves in the living room on Halloween night, playing with Harry's stuffed animals.

"I think he's getting tired," Lily observed as Harry made his lion attack the hapless sheep that James was holding.

"I think you're right," James replied as he made the sheep fight back. Harry laughed at his father's antics, but his eyelids drooped as he fought to stay awake. "Are you tired, Harry?"

"No," Harry said forcefully. "No bed."

"It's getting to be bedtime," Lily said, rubbing the face of the stag she held against his cheek. "But how about you and I cuddle on the couch for a minute first?"

Harry giggled and grabbed the stag from her. "No bed."

"Not bed, just cuddling on the couch with Mummy," Lily smiled.

"I will, too," James grinned, standing up. He pointed his wand at the couch to expand it. "We should all fit, right?"

"Definitely," Lily grinned.

James laid down first, and Lily laid down with her back up against his chest. Harry continued to play with his toys, determinedly avoiding his parents' attempts to make him get ready for bed.

"Don't you want to come and cuddle with Mummy and Daddy?" Lily asked. She leaned over to pick up Harry's dog. "Doggie Sirius is here, too."

"Doggie Siri," Harry grinned. He came across the room, and Lily picked the baby up, putting him down in front of her.

For several moments, no one spoke. James was relaxed against the back of the couch, with Lily leaning up against him. He played with her hair, even as she ran her fingers through the unruly locks of Harry, who was curled up against her. As his breathing evened out, Lily knew that her little boy had fallen asleep. She smiled, and twisted her head to look up at James.

"I think he's out."

James grinned. "He really was tired."

"Yeah."

They lapsed back into silence for several moments. It was James who broke it when he spoke softly again.

"You know, Lil, I've been thinking."

"About what?"

"Harry."

Lily smiled. "What about him?"

"I think we've done a fantastic job with him, don't you?"

"He's the sweetest baby alive," Lily affirmed.

"Well, I've been thinking . . . maybe my mum's right. Maybe it _is_ time for us to try all of this again."

Lily twisted her head to look up at him. "You want to have another baby?"

"Well, we already have a little me. Now we need a little you."

"Are you serious?" Lily whispered.

"Do you want to have another one?" James asked.

"Nothing would make me happier," Lily beamed. "I was thinking about the same thing! When do you want to start trying?"

"No time like the present," James grinned, leaning down to kiss her.

Lily smiled against his lips, and pulled away. "Shall I put Harry to bed first?"

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea," James laughed.

Lily stood up slowly, trying to lift Harry up without waking him. James suddenly reached out to grab her arm.

"Stop," he whispered.

"What is it?" Lily asked, tensing instantly.

"Someone's coming."

"Who could be coming?" she asked, bewildered. "Was Sirius supposed to come to check on us tonight?"

"No," James said tensely. "Listen . . . do you hear those footsteps?"

Lily fell silent, her eyes growing wide. "Someone _is_ coming," she said in a terrified whisper.

James put his finger to his lips, and crept toward the window with his wand out. He pushed the curtain aside to peek out, then jumped back, letting it fall back into place. His face showed utter fear, but his eyes reflected a desire to fight. He was not going to let this demon take his family.

"Is it -?" Lily couldn't bring herself to finish her question.

James nodded grimly.

"Oh, God, oh, God," Lily moaned, clutching Harry to her, waking him as she jarred him around. "How could this have happened? How could he have found us? Peter was supposed to keep us safe! I did the Charm right; no one has been able to find us!"

"It doesn't matter now, Lil!"

"It doesn't matter?" she shrieked. "But Peter –"

"Lily, take Harry and go!" James yelled, cutting off her continued speculation about what had happened to bring Voldemort to their door. "It's _him_! Go! Run! I'll hold him off!"

"James, I can't leave you!" Lily exclaimed, tears filling her eyes.

"I'll be fine, love, just get Harry out of here!" He gave her a lopsided smile. "We've taken him on before – it's just one more time."

"I love you, James," she said.

"I love you, too, Lil," he replied. "Now, get Harry out of here!"

Lily grabbed the baby to her even more tightly, and ran out of the room. She tripped over several toys and stumbled, but managed to stay on her feet. She ran all the way to the playroom, where a fireplace was connected to the Floo network. She looked at it for a moment that lasted an eternity, but stopped.

"We can't leave Daddy all alone," she told Harry. "We have to be very quiet, though . . . Voldemort can't know that we're here . . ."

She thought of the last time she had been afraid to leave James alone in battle, when the Death Eaters had ambushed them on the beach in Greece. She had been so sure that all was lost for them and Sirius had come out of nowhere, ready to help, ready to fight, ready to defend them . . .

Oh, _why_ hadn't they forced him to remain their Secret Keeper?

But maybe it didn't matter . . . maybe he would come in at a crucial moment to save them again . . .

James stumbled toward the front door, ready to battle Voldemort to the death. The rage that rushed through him made him sure that he could kill this beast himself. He was angry with Voldemort for finding them, angry with Peter for giving him their location, and angry with himself for not realizing that Peter had been the spy all along. How could he ever have suspected Remus? The one man who had fought all his life to make and keep friends would never sell those friends out . . . Why hadn't they seen that from the beginning?

The door burst open in a shower of sparks and the sound of Voldemort's chilling, high-pitched laughter filled the house. He turned to look at James, whose wand was already held high, ready for battle.

"Where is your son?" he asked.

"We've played this game before," James replied. "I wouldn't tell your minions, and I'm not about to tell you."

Voldemort waved his wand, sending a jet of red light sailing toward James. He blocked the curse, and shot one of his own back at the Dark Lord. The two began a duel that seemed to go on forever. James put every last molecule of his being into the battle, knowing that he was fighting for not only his own life, but also for those of his wife and son. He couldn't let them down. He had to at least tire Voldemort to the point where he couldn't kill them when he tried.

"This has gone on long enough," Voldemort said at last. "Your family has been a problem to me since I began my campaign, James. I will not stand for it any longer."

James knew what was coming. He had known that it would come down to this from the moment that he first heard Voldemort coming up his walkway. But even that knowledge was not enough to make him back down.

"Do it, then," he whispered. "I'm not afraid. I know that you'll never win, because evil never triumphs. Good always wins in the end. As long as people continue to go about their lives without fear, as long as love continues to flourish in this world, you will never win. You can't, because you just can't compete with courage and love."

"Very poetic," Voldemort said in a bored tone. "We shall make those your famous last words. _Avada Kedavra_."

As the jet of green light flew toward him, James closed his eyes, summoning Lily's and Harry's faces before them. He wanted them to be the last things he saw.

On the other side of the house, Lily heard his body hit the floor. She sucked in her breath sharply, and bit her lips to keep from screaming. Tears jumped into her eyes. She knew what had happened without seeing it, without being told. There was no way she could have felt such a horrible void in her heart if James were still alive.

Harry looked up at her with his huge green eyes. "Daddy?" he asked quietly.

"You feel it, too, don't you?" she whispered, running her hand over his head. "Please be quiet, Harry. We still have each other, and we want to keep it that way. We can't let him find us."

She held her baby tightly, rocking him back and forth as her tears ran into his hair. Harry remained quiet, and put his small arms around her neck. They had barely begun to comfort one another when she became aware of footsteps entering the playroom. She jumped to her feet, grabbing her wand to defend herself.

"Have you come to finish us off, too?" she asked angrily. "Now that you've killed my husband, you're down to two Potters to destroy."

"I'll only be destroying one," he said. "I'm not here for you, I'm here for the baby. Give him to me."

"No!" she screamed, holding Harry all the tighter. "Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!"

"Stand aside, you silly girl . . . stand aside, now . . ."

"Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead –"

"_You_ don't need to die, you silly girl," Voldemort hissed. "I have no use for you. It's the boy I want."

"Not Harry!" Lily screamed. "Please . . . have mercy . . . have mercy . . ."

"When have you ever known me to show mercy?" Voldemort cackled. "I have come to kill the baby, and that is what I am about to do. _Avada Kedavra_."

"_NO_!" Lily screamed desperately.

Voldemort laughed wickedly as the jet of death sped toward Harry.

Lily turned her back on him, still clutching Harry to her chest, thereby using herself as a human shield to protect her baby. The curse struck her back, stealing the life from her body. As she fell, her arms opened, and Harry slid down her body onto the floor. He looked at her with huge eyes. He pushed himself to his small feet, and toddled to the place where her head lay.

"Mummy?" he asked, touching her face. "Mummy? Mummy, Harry scared! Mummy!"

"She didn't need to die, you know," Voldemort said, looking at the baby. "She did buy you a few extra moments." He smiled in a twisted way. "I don't believe we have ever met, and it would be terribly rude of me to kill you without introducing myself. I am Lord Voldemort, Harry, and I am here to make sure that you can never destroy me as some think you may. So, although it has, of course, been a pleasure, I think that it is time for us to say goodbye. _Avada Kedavra_."

Harry looked at Voldemort with a loathing generally not seen on the faces of toddlers. He knew that this man was the one that had done something to his mummy, something that made it impossible for her to respond to him. He screwed up his face, unaccustomed to the feelings and emotions that were coursing through him, as the jet of light hit him . . .

There was pain, but it was brief. The light had barely touched Harry when it rebounded, striking Lord Voldemort. Harry watched as the man screamed in pain. Then, his body seemed to melt away while a shadowy something floated upward.

And then the house came down around them.


	58. Vengeance

A/N: Still not the last chapter. Thanks for all your responses to the last chapter. It was really, really hard to write, and knowing that you were moved by it means the world to me. I have to warn you, though, that this chapter made me cry more than the last one.

I know that Harry talks a lot for his age, but I'm modeling him after one of my cousins. She was a total chatterbox by the time she turned one, and she spoke very well for her age. All babies gain speech at different rates – I just put Harry on the fast-track!

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Vengeance

As an Order member, Sturgis Podmore had been assigned many odd duties. But none had ever been as odd as his assignment to stand guard over something he couldn't even see.

Dumbledore had explained that the Potters had gone into hiding using a Secret Keeper. Although the Fidelius Charm should keep them safe, Dumbledore wanted an Order member on-site just in case something happened. Sturgis had accepted the orders from Dumbledore, and had gone to the location he had been assigned.

Because the unnamed Secret Keeper had not given him the Potters' address, Sturgis had been given a general location, followed by a general direction in which to keep watch. He had been staring at the same blank spot for the past two hours, wondering when his relief would come in the form of Emmeline Vance, who would take over the watch for the next shift. He began looking around the neighborhood, watching as small, costumed children made their way up first one walkway then another, collecting candy from decorated houses. Sturgis smiled at the parents who looked at him as though wondering if he was going to try to kidnap their children. He sighed. Dumbledore had a way of choosing the most awkward positions to put him in.

A thunderous crash filled the air, and Sturgis jumped. He whirled around, looking back at the blank spot he was supposed to be monitoring.

"My God," he whispered. The Potters' house was now visible before him, crumbling to the ground. "What the hell happened?"

He shot his Patronus into the sky, trying to get a message to Dumbledore about what had happened. Then he stepped forward to begin putting up Muggle-repelling charms. The last thing he needed was a crowd of Muggles running over to see what had happened.

* * *

Dumbledore sat down hard when he received the message from Sturgis. He had feared that this would happen from the moment that James had insisted upon using Sirius as his Secret Keeper, but he had hoped that those fears were unfounded. Now, it seemed, they were completely accurate.

He did not allow himself time to think of what had happened. He had to get to the scene. He had to see if there was anything that could be done, or any way that he could help. The message had said that the house had become visible, that it had been destroyed. It was so odd. The Killing Curse did not leave destruction in its path. He hoped that there was some way that they had survived.

* * *

Sirius pushed his motorbike as fast as it would go, covering the distance from Mrs. Potter's house to Peter's in half the time it normally would take. He spent the entire trip praying that he wouldn't be too late, that there was still time to save James and Lily.

A light was shining in Peter's window as Sirius landed his bike. He laughed in relief. Raised by his frugal father, Peter never left a light on when he walked out of a room, let alone out of his house. He must still be home. Sirius had made it in time. He ran up the walk and knocked on the door. There was no answer.

"Peter, you fool, it's me! It's Sirius! Open up! You knew I was coming! Come on, Peter, open the door!"

After a moment, the horrible truth sunk in. No one was coming to admit him. Shivering slightly, he took out his wand.

"_Alohomora_."

The door opened, and Sirius shook his head. Would Peter never learn a more complex locking charm? Then, coming back to himself, he stepped inside.

"Peter?" he called. "Peter, are you here? Are you all right?"

He made his way around the small house quickly, searching desperately for any sign of Peter, or, at the very least, of a struggle. If Peter had gone to Voldemort with his information, Sirius had to know that he had at least fought against it.

But the house did not show any sign of a struggle.

Sirius began to shake uncontrollably. "My God," he whispered. "I'm too late! He's already gone!"

He ran back outside. He had to get to James. He had to make sure that his friends were still alive and well.

* * *

Dumbledore arrived on the scene just as Sturgis had finished charming the area. He hurried over to greet the older man.

"It was unbelievable!" he exclaimed. "One minute it was just a blank space, and the next minute I'm watching the house fall apart! I don't know how it happened!"

"Don't worry about how it happened," Dumbledore murmured. "It wasn't your fault, and there isn't anything you could have done to stop it. Go and inform the others. And send Hagrid to me."

"Hagrid?"

"Yes. Tell him to hurry."

"Yes, sir."

Sturgis Disapparated, leaving Dumbledore alone among the wreckage. He began sifting through it, looking desperately for survivors. He came across James first, recognizing at once that he was beyond help. Unexpected tears filled his eyes as he looked down at the young man who had been one of the most mischievous students he had ever taught, but who had become one of the most dedicated teachers and soldiers he had ever known.

"You should have been spared," he murmured. "You were so stubborn . . . you should have listened to me."

He stepped away from James's body before his tears began to fall, and searched for Lily. As he turned around, he heard an unmistakable baby cry. The wailing grew louder and louder, more and more hysterical.

"Harry," Dumbledore said softly, blinking in disbelief. "How on earth -?"

He followed the sounds of the baby's hysterical sobbing to find the child sitting in the midst of the rubble, clutching his mother's arm.

"My goodness, Harry," Dumbledore said, picking him up into his arms. "What happened here tonight? Your father was hit with a Killing Curse, and . . ." He looked down and felt sickened by the sight of Lily's lifeless body. "Your mother shares his fate. But, you, the one who brought him here . . . Why are you still alive, Harry? What could have . . .?"

Dumbledore looked back down at where Harry had been sitting with Lily. Her face held the shocked expression that generally accompanied those hit by the Killing Curse, but her arms were not in the customary spread-out position. It was as though . . .

"She was holding you, wasn't she?" Dumbledore whispered to the baby. "She put herself between you and Voldemort. She took the curse that was meant for you."

He looked at the baby again, noting for the first time the angry red mark on his forehead. He frowned, and traced the lightning-shaped mark with one long finger.

"But how did this -?"

His eyes widened. "He tried to kill you, didn't he? But he couldn't . . . Lily died for you . . . _of course_ . . ." He smiled slightly. "Your mother always was incredibly bright and extremely powerful, Harry. Even to her death, perhaps even unknowingly, she was performing magic is its most complex form."

Harry had finally calmed down, and snuggled into Dumbledore's embrace. Dumbledore smiled at him, and held him closer.

"You are a very special little boy, Harry Potter. It would appear that you are already living up to a prophecy that I had never thought would take hold so early in your life. But now we must find the best way to take care of you . . . we have to find a way to make sure that your mother's sacrifice doesn't go unrewarded. We have to . . ." He sighed deeply. "We have to send you to live with your aunt."

He took out his wand and waved it, sending Harry into a dreamless sleep. Then he put the baby back down on what had been a couch. He cast another charm to keep him warm until Hagrid arrived. Then he sent his Patronus high into the sky, sending Hagrid final instructions. He was to collect Harry, and to meet Dumbledore at Number 4, Privet Drive.

With these things cared for, Dumbledore Disapparated. There was much to be done before meeting Hagrid and Harry on Privet Drive.

* * *

Sirius rode his bike over James and Lily's house, fear welling up inside of him at the sight below him. He tried to convince himself that the wreckage wasn't their house, that the scene of destruction had nothing to do with his friends.

But there was no fighting it as he landed in what had been their front yard. He let his bike fall to the ground as he looked at the crumbled house. He felt the color drain from his face as he began to shake uncontrollably.

"My God," he whispered. "What have I done? What have I done?"

He stepped carefully around the wreckage, looking for his friends. Maybe, through some miracle, they had survived. Maybe they were okay.

"James?" he called as he moved pieces of their house aside. "James, are you here? James? James! Where are you? Please, answer me!"

A cry escaped his lips as he found his fallen friend. James lay on the ground before him, his wand still clutched in his hand, his eyes screwed shut. Sirius sank to his knees.

"James," he whispered, shaking his friend's shoulder. "James, come on, open your eyes. Come on, James, please . . . please."

The truth hit him like a ton of bricks, and, for the second time that night, he began to sob. Sobs shook his body as he clutched James's cold frame to him, wishing that there was a way to will his friend back to life. Blinded by tears, he finally looked up, only to see a streak of red across from him.

"No," he whispered in a choked voice. "No, not both of you . . . no, I can't stand it . . . please, no . . ."

He gently put James back down, and crossed to find Lily's lifeless body. Unlike James, her eyes were open and her wand had fallen from her hand. His sobs beginning anew, Sirius bent down and crushed her body against him.

"How could this have happened?" he sobbed. "How could I have done this to you? How could we have been so wrong? How – how -?" Overcome by sobbing, he couldn't continue.

"Sirius?"

He looked up to see Hagrid coming toward him, carrying Harry. He released Lily, and looked up at them with dull eyes.

"He got Harry, too, didn't he?" he asked, choking back the sobs that wanted to shake his frame. He already knew that he, Sirius, had killed his two best friends, the two people who meant more to him than anyone. Now Hagrid was about to tell him that he had killed his godson as well. Unsure that he could handle this news while standing, he sank down next to Lily's body.

"No – no, Sirius, Harry's all right."

Hope broke out across his face like the sun. "He's all right?" he asked.

"Yeah," Hagrid replied. "Dumbledore said that You-Know-Who tried to kill him, but he couldn't. Didn't say why, though – guess he hasn't quite worked that out yet."

"But you said that he's all right. How could he be all right if Voldemort tried to kill him?"

Hagrid winced at the sound of the name. "I said he _tried_ – he didn't do it, though. He couldn't!"

"He – he couldn't kill Harry? But how is that possible?"

"I don't know," Hagrid said. "He got Lily and James – you know that, though, don't you?"

"Yeah," Sirius said, his tears starting again. "Yeah, I found them already."

Hagrid sat down next to him, and put his arm around Sirius's shoulders. "It's gonna be all right, Sirius," he said gruffly. "I know it's awful . . . I loved Lily and James, too, we all did . . . but this is what they would have wanted. You know they loved Harry more than anything, and they'd be proud to know that they had given their lives to keep him alive. You know that."

"Yeah," Sirius said, trying to stop crying, "yeah, that's what they would have wanted. They would have gone mad if they'd lived and he'd died."

"Exactly," Hagrid said, nodding. "And the rest of us will need to work together to make sure that Harry grows up right, to make sure that they didn't die for him only to have him destroyed by something else."

"Yeah, he has to be raised the way they wanted . . ." Sirius looked at the little boy sleeping in Hagrid's oversized arms. "Give him to me, Hagrid. I'm his godfather – James and Lily wanted me to have him if anything happened to them. We talked about this, about what would happen if they died . . . I promised to take care of him, to defend him from Voldemort . . . I'll take him home with me." Hope began to blaze in Sirius's eyes; his godson had given him new purpose. "He can have James's old room. Olivia and I are getting married soon, and with Harry, we'll be a real family right from the start. Here, let me have him. I'll take him home right now."

"Ah, Sirius, I can't do that."

"You can't? Why not? You know that I'm his godfather."

"Yeah, I know, but . . ."

"But what?"

"See, I got instructions from Dumbledore . . . I have to take Harry to his aunt."

"His aunt? He doesn't have . . ." Sirius's eyes widened. "You're taking him to _Petunia_?"

"Is that Lily's sister's name? The Muggle? Yeah, that's the one. Dumbledore said Harry has to live with her from now on."

"You're taking him to live with Petunia," Sirius said in disbelief. "How – why would Dumbledore . . . ?"

Suddenly, everything became clear to him. Their plan had worked all wrong. Everyone who had been at that dinner at his flat did believe that he had been Lily and James's Secret Keeper – and now they thought that he was responsible for their deaths. He had to find Peter, to force him to confess . . . He had to set the record straight. He had to make sure that Harry stayed with him, and that Peter paid for his crimes. He was only going to keep the murdering rat alive long enough to get a confession out of him . . . and then he was going to kill him.

But what would be the best way to find him? He wasn't at home. The coward was probably on his way out of the country, afraid of what Sirius and Remus would do to him when they found out what had happened. Taking his motorbike to find the little rat wouldn't be any good. He'd be far more accurate at tracking him as a dog.

"Sirius, are you gonna be all right?" Hagrid asked. "I gotta get Harry to his aunt's before Dumbledore thinks I'm lost."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine," Sirius said. "Tell you what, Hagrid. Take my motorbike. It'll be faster, and I don't need it right now."

"Thanks, Sirius," Hagrid said, surprised at Sirius's generous loan. "I'll take good care of it, and I'll bring it right back to you."

"No rush," Sirius assured him. "I won't need it, anyway."

Hagrid nodded as though confused and made his way to the motorbike. Sirius gave him a crash-course on driving the vehicle, then looked at him hopefully.

"Can I say goodbye to Harry before you go?"

"Sure," Hagrid said, obviously trying to match Sirius's generosity. He handed the baby over.

"I'm sorry, Harry," Sirius whispered as he cuddled him close. "I should have tried harder, I should have done more . . . I would give anything to bring them back to you. Anything." He kissed the baby's forehead. "I love you, Harry. I'll always remember you, and I'll always love you. I'll be waiting for you to join us in the wizarding world again."

With one last kiss, he gave the baby back to Hagrid. He stepped back to give Hagrid room to take off.

"Thanks again, Sirius," Hagrid said as the bike's engine roared to life.

"Don't mention it," Sirius replied.

Hagrid took off, taking the bike into the air. Sirius watched until Hagrid activated the invisibility function. He raised his hand to wave, knowing that Hagrid and Harry could see him, even if he couldn't see them.

He waited only a second longer before transforming into the great, bear-like dog. He had a hunting mission to accomplish.

* * *

Upon leaving Voldemort's office, Peter realized that his options were limited. He could not possibly go back to his friends; Sirius and Remus would never understand. They didn't know the Dark Lord as he did. They didn't know the terror of being threatened by death like he did. They didn't understand his past, his struggle for his father's acceptance, or anything else that had gone into his decision. They would only understand that James, Lily and Harry were gone, and that he, Peter was responsible.

He had to get out before they found him.

He went straight for Muggle London. Once Sirius and Remus realized what had happened, once they discussed everything, they would both know what had happened. They had always been more intelligent than him; they would realize in an instant that he had been the spy they had all been seeking for nearly two years. And once they had put all that together, they would start searching for him in all the normal wizarding haunts. They wouldn't think to look for him among Muggles.

But where could he go? Should he try to book a passage on a train to another part of England? Should he find a way to get to Continental Europe? He could get lost in Germany, in Spain, in France . . . no, Dana was in France. She would find him. He shook his head, trying to think of a way out. There had to be something he could do.

"PETTIGREW!"

Peter jumped and turned at the sound of his name. The bellowed name seemed to echo off the surrounding buildings. Peter looked for who could have called for him and felt his heart stop. Sirius was standing not ten feet from him, his expression showing rage like Peter had never seen before, not even when Sirius and James had battled over Olivia and Lily in their sixth year.

"Sirius," he breathed. "How – what are you doing here?"

"Looking for you," Sirius hissed menacingly as he made his way down the street, knocking people out of his path. "Where were you headed, Pettigrew? Going to make a run for it, I assume? Were you thinking of England, or all of Europe? You know, the Ministry has contacts in every country – it wouldn't be that hard to track you down. Anyone can smell a rat."

"You obviously couldn't," Peter said without thinking. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he realized the truth. He had, for the first time in his life, managed to deceive his friends. He had proven that he was just as clever as they were, if not more. He had pulled the wool firmly over their eyes, making them trust him when he was completely untrustworthy. And they had never suspected, never thought . . . He grinned maniacally.

"What are you on about?" Sirius asked.

"Do you realize how long I've been a step ahead of you?" Peter asked. "You never thought that I would amount to anything, did you, Sirius? But now look at us! You trusted me, didn't you? You did, James did, Lily did . . . You thought that Remus was the spy! You never guessed that it was me!"

"You call that brilliance?" Sirius scoffed. "You think it's impressive that you _sold your best friends to Voldemort_?"

Peter winced at the sound of the name. "Don't, Sirius . . ."

"Haven't you heard?" Sirius laughed. "It was all I heard about when I was tracking you. Yeah, you sent old Voldemort over to James and Lily's house, and he killed them – just as I'm about to kill you for what you've done – but he didn't kill Harry. Did you know that, Peter? Harry's just fine!"

"He's alive?" Peter asked, his eyes widening.

"Alive and on his way to live with his aunt if you don't convince Dumbledore that you were their Secret Keeper," Sirius hissed. "Which you will, because I'm going to give him my memory of this entire conversation after I kill you. But back to our story . . . Yes, Peter, Harry is fine. In fact, it appears that he may have destroyed Voldemort."

"Harry – Harry destroyed the Dark Lord?"

"Yes, he did. Right now, wizards all across the country are singing his praises . . . And you can just bet that the Death Eaters are going to be searching for your head. Wouldn't you far rather lose your life to a beloved friend than to the faceless minions of a defunct Dark Lord?"

Peter turned pale. Sirius was right. If the Dark Lord was gone, destroyed, the Death Eaters would be after him in force.

Sirius laughed at the sight of Peter's face. He raised his wand. "Just one question before I kill you, Peter – why did you do it?"

"Why?" Peter asked. "You should have learned by now, Sirius. Have you never thought about why I do anything?"

Sirius looked at him blankly. It was Peter's turn to laugh.

"No, of course not! You and James were always so obsessed with how wonderful you were, how powerful you were, how clever you were, you never even stopped to think about me at all, did you? And Remus never knew, either . . . he was always buried in his books, shutting himself away from the world . . . None of you ever realized that it would come to this, did you? You never knew and you never saw it coming because you never really took the time to get to know someone who you always said was one of your _best friends_!"

"You're using some pathetic argument to turn this around and make it my fault?" Sirius laughed. "Don't you think I blame myself enough already?"

"You never could see your own faults," Peter replied. "I'm just pointing them out."

"Are you quite through?" Sirius hissed.

"No," Peter said. "It's time for my final act." He pulled out his own wand, and raised his voice. "LILY AND JAMES, SIRIUS! YOU'VE BETRAYED THEM! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO YOUR BEST FRIENDS?"

Then, without warning, he shot a curse behind him that ripped the street apart, killing everyone within a ten-foot radius of him. He held up his hand and used his wand to cut off his finger, yelling in pain as the appendage fell to the ground. Then, with one last look at Sirius, one last smirk that said that he was the cleverest of them all, he transformed into his Animagus form and sped away down the open sewer drain.

Sirius looked at the spot where his former friend had stood, trying to comprehend all that he had seen, all that had happened over the course of the past few hours. Peter's betrayal of their trust, James and Lily's deaths, Harry stolen away from Sirius and sent to Lily's horrible sister, Peter killing all those people without blinking, Peter transforming, Peter running away, Peter faking his death . . .

He had seen too much. He had been through too much. He couldn't cry anymore. He did the only thing he could think to do.

He started laughing.

Like hysterical sobbing, his laughter became uncontrollable. He couldn't stop, not even when Cornelius Fudge and twenty Aurors and Ministry officials swooped down on him. He couldn't stop when the dementors were called in to lead him away. He couldn't stop, because if he stopped, he'd have to think about what happened. If he thought about it any more, he'd start crying. And if he started crying, he knew that he would never, ever be able to stop.

* * *

"Where is he?"

"Cell twelve," the guard replied.

Frank Longbottom and Alastor Moody made their slow progress down the hall of Azkaban to cell twelve. Frank stuffed a chocolate bar into his mouth, trying to fight off the affects of the dementors. He offered a piece to Moody, who shook his head.

They finally arrived at Sirius's cell. He was sitting by himself in the corner, staring blankly at the wall. He looked up as Longbottom and Moody came in, but couldn't seem to muster the energy to stand to greet them. He tried to smile, but failed. Any time he started to smile, the dementors were there, stealing any happiness that would have been necessary to make him smile. Even after only an hour in Azkaban, he had learned that much.

"What?" he asked, far more rudely than he had intended.

"Sirius," Longbottom sighed, sitting down across from him. "We've come to question you for the Ministry."

"Oh," Sirius said bitterly. "Well, you're wasting your time. There's no way Crouch will let me out. My God, he has everyone convinced that I killed thirteen people with one curse! Now, I ask you, who could possibly do that?"

"A very powerful wizard," Moody growled. "And we all know that you are indeed very powerful, Black. What doesn't make sense to me is why you did it."

"You think I did it?" Sirius asked.

"Until you tell us otherwise, we have no choice," Frank said. He ate another piece of chocolate. "All the evidence suggests that it was your doing."

"Well, then why are you here?" Sirius snapped. "You have 'all the evidence;' I suppose that my story counts for nothing."

"All the evidence says that you betrayed James and Lily Potter," Frank said slowly. "It also says that you killed Peter Pettigrew and twelve Muggles. Would you like to respond?"

Sirius buried his face in his hands. "James and Lily . . ." He looked up with misery in his face. "That is my fault. I killed them."

"You killed them?" Moody asked in shock. "No, that's impossible – Voldemort killed them."

"But it's my fault," Sirius moaned. "If I hadn't done . . . it was so stupid . . . I can't believe I trusted him . . ."

"Him?" Frank frowned. "Voldemort?"

"It's all my fault," Sirius moaned again.

The dementors were obviously taking their toll. He began to rock back and forth, repeating the same four words over and over.

"We're not going to get any more sense out of him," Moody said, taking a bite of his own chocolate bar. "Come on, Longbottom, let's get out of here."

Frank nodded, and stood to his feet. They walked back out of the prison, both silent until they were on the mainland again.

"I can't believe it," Frank muttered. "I never would have thought it possible. He was one of the best new Aurors we had. I was sure he'd be one of the best members of the force."

"I was going to ask him to help with the training program next year," Moody said bitterly. "Him and Olivia Alexander. I thought they'd be good at it, having completed it so recently . . . I don't know how he managed to fool us all like that."

Frank shook his head. "I thought he was so different from the rest of his family."

"Some things are just bred into a person," Moody replied. "I was like you – I thought that he was opposed to his family enough to have shaken off their obsession with the Dark Arts. I guess I was wrong." He laughed mirthlessly. "His parents must be so proud."

"We're going to have to be more careful in the future," Frank said. "We have to make sure we don't let anyone else like him into the program. Think of what he could have done, what information he had access to. He could have destroyed the Ministry if he had wanted to. He had everything he needed – all he had to do was to give it to Voldemort."

"I'm surprised he didn't," Moody said thoughtfully.

"Why do you suppose he didn't?"

"I don't know," Moody said, shaking his head. "After all these years of work, you'd think I'd know how the dark wizard's mind works by now." He looked furious with himself. "I can't believe he had me so convinced that he was on our side."

"He had all of us convinced." Frank glanced at his watch. "As much as I'd like to continue this circular conversation of how unobservant we've been, I need to get home."

"Date with the family?"

"Yeah. Alice and I are taking Neville camping for the weekend. We're leaving in the morning."

"Finally think it's safe to leave the house?" Moody asked, knowing that the Longbottoms had been protected by a Fidelius Charm for quite some time.

"Finally," Frank grinned. "I need to get home to pack."

"Well, have a nice trip," Moody said. "I expect you in on time on Monday morning."

"I'll be there," Frank promised. "And, Moody – don't beat yourself up too much over this Black thing. None of us realized what was going on. You're not the only one."

"No," Moody replied, the bitterness returning to his tone. "But I'm the only one who's never been fooled before."

Frank sighed, and shook his head. "I'll see you on Monday."

"Have a fun weekend," Moody replied.

Frank raised his hand to wave, then Disapparated. Moody stared at the spot where he had been for several moments, then Disapparated as well. He wanted to get home, where he could brood in peace.

* * *

Frank did not come to work on time on Monday morning. After leaving Moody that night, he returned home, where he and his wife were attacked by four Death Eaters who were searching for information about their presumed-dead master.

The next time Moody saw Frank Longbottom was during a visit to his room in St. Mungo's. He was so appalled by what he saw that he could never summon the strength to return to visit his colleagues again. But he did return to work, filled with a new passion to rid the world of Death Eaters. After what Sirius had done, after what those four people had done to Frank and Alice, Moody felt for the first time that Death Eaters did not have hearts. For the first time, he started to think that Barty Crouch's harsh policies were right on track. And after being so fooled by Sirius, he lost faith in nearly everyone. He could never bring himself to fully trust another person again.


	59. Profound Grief

A/N: We're not done yet, guys. Three more to go. The time line is a little off in this one compared with the last one – but I wanted to keep all the stuff with Sirius and Moody together in the last chapter. Just imagine all of this happening simultaneously with the action from the last chapter.

I do intend to write another story after this one is done, but I'm still working with a very preliminary outline. Hopefully, I'll be able to post it before the end of August. I'll give you an update on that when I post the last chapter of this one.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Profound Grief

_Dear Mrs. Dursley,_

_From what your sister has told me, I feel it is safe to assume that you have never met her child. Allow me to introduce you to your nephew, Harry Potter. As you can guess by his sudden appearance at your house, Harry has lived through the horrific experience of losing his parents. _

_Both your sister Lily and her husband James were killed last night by Lord Voldemort. As I stated in my last letter to you, he was the most feared dark wizard our world has known for a great deal of time; it is not surprising that Lily and James fell victim to his murderous campaign. They had fought against him and won several times in the past; while it is certain that they fought as heroes this time, their efforts were not enough to save their lives._

_They were, however, able to save their son. Lily in particular assisted in this process; her death caused a magical reaction that protected Harry when Voldemort attempted to kill him. Harry is currently the only known person to survive the curse that Voldemort used against him – the same curse that stole his parents' lives._

_It is safe to say that Lily sacrificed herself to save her son. The magic that she used to protect him is not unheard of, but it is one that Voldemort detests: love. It placed a protection into Harry's very blood that will keep him safe from Voldemort, if you are willing to help Lily complete the spell. What I am saying, Petunia, is that Harry will only be safe if you take him into your home as one of your family. As long as he can call your home his own, he will be protected. By taking Harry, you will ensure that Lily's sacrifice will not have been in vain, and her son, your nephew, will survive. _

_This is what I am asking of you: that you take Harry, and that you raise him as your own son. While he has a very special protection of his own, you and your family, too, will be protected. I will make is my personal mission to see to it that no harm befalls you. As I told you on the occasion of our meeting, I do indeed have the power to do this. _

_Take Harry, Petunia, raise him as your son, and prepare him for what lies ahead of him. He is a very special little boy for many reasons, not the least of which is that he is a part of your family. Remember that, and raise him as a son who would make his mother proud. _

_If you have any problems with Harry, you can contact me. However, I am sure that you will discover, as I have, that he is a very easy child to love. The best of luck to your and your family. _

_Sincerely,_

_Albus Dumbledore_

Dumbledore read over his letter to Petunia for the third time, then made his way to Privet Drive. Hagrid would be waiting, and he knew that that the task ahead of them would be anything but easy. Leaving Harry Potter to live with his mother's relatives – people that he knew wanted nothing to do with the magical world – was a difficult decision.

Even so, Dumbledore knew that it was the right decision – the _only_ decision. Lily and James had told him that they wanted Harry to go to Petunia Dursley. Although they had made it very clear that she was their last choice for Harry's guardian, it had, indeed, come to that point. Those they would have had raise him were gone or out of the question. James's mother was gone and Sirius was . . . completely out of the question.

Dumbledore sighed as he thought of it. If only James had listened to reason, if only he had been more suspicious . . . Dumbledore knew that he himself was very trusting, but James had refused to admit that Sirius was even worthy of suspicion.

With effort, he moved his thoughts away from Sirius Black. What was done was done and in the past. There was no way to change it. The only thing left to do was to make sure that Harry stayed safe – and, as he had written in his letter, sending the baby to Petunia was the best way to make sure that happened. He would be safe with her, and, once he was old enough, he could leave her to attend Hogwarts, where Dumbledore could ensure his safety.

"I'll keep him safe even before then," he murmured to himself. "No little boy will ever know such protection as he will."

He took the Put-Outer from his pocket, and began snatching the light from Privet Drive. The time was coming for him to do what he must, and he did not need witnesses.

* * *

Olivia pushed her hair back from her face and checked her watch yet again. It had been over five hours since Sirius had left. While she was sure that telling James that his mother had died wasn't an easy task, she had hoped to hear from him before this. She was starting to worry. If they were right, if Voldemort had gone after Mrs. Potter because he believed her to be the Potter's Secret Keeper, how long would it be before he realized that Sirius was, in fact, his key to finding them? He was in grave danger, and he was out flying on his motorbike as though he was invincible. She shook her head. Sirius had always thought himself invincible. It was the drawback of being unusually bright.

"Have you heard?"

Olivia jumped as a wizard she had never seen before ran in Mrs. Potter's front yard, his face lit with an insanely happy smile. She stepped forward to take care of this intruder.

"Sir, you're going to have to step back," she warned. "This is a crime scene, and we're currently in the middle of an investigation –"

"You can put a stop to it!" he exclaimed, jumping up and down on the spot. "There's no need to investigate You-Know-Who's crimes anymore! He's gone! Gone!"

"What?" Olivia asked with a frown. "What are you talking about? How can he be _gone_?"

"I don't know," the man said excitedly. "I don't know what happened, just that it had something to do with the Potters – their son, Harry, he's the one who made him go – but he's _gone_!"

Olivia's face drained of color. "What?" she whispered. "Harry Potter . . . _what_?"

The man grinned. "That's right, Harry Potter destroyed the Dark Lord!"

"But how – he's just a baby – what are you talking about?"

The man laughed joyfully. "I know! It doesn't make sense, but it's true, I'm sure of it! Can't you feel it? Doesn't your soul just feel lighter now that he's gone?"

The man shocked Olivia by hugging her, then ran off to tell the other Aurors what had happened. As though in a daze, Olivia began to walk away from the house.

"What is he talking about?" she muttered to herself. "It isn't possible – Voldemort can't even find them. They're in hiding. How could Harry . . .?" She trailed off. "I need to find someone who knows what's going on."

She began to run around the house and yard, looking for Moody, but none of the other Aurors had seen him. Those that had heard the news were already jumping around and cheering; none of them had waited for official confirmation. They believed this nameless man's story without hearing any further details.

"Doesn't anyone know where Moody is?" Olivia finally yelled, her temper exploding. "The man never leaves an assignment until it's complete! He has to be here somewhere!"

"He was summoned away," Anne, a fellow Auror, said. "He left about fifteen minutes ago."

"Summoned away?" Olivia repeated. "Where did he go?"

"He didn't say," she replied. "He just said for us to carry on with our work, and that he'd be back as soon as he could."

"Damn him!" Olivia exclaimed. "I'll find out what's going on one way or the other!"

Moody was gone, Sirius was MIA and had never told her how to find James and Lily, Peter was never any help, Dana was in France, Dumbledore had a school to run . . .

That left her with the one person in the world who would never believe this ridiculous story without hearing it from Dumbledore, Moody, or another high-ranking Order member. The one person who could always be trusted to act with caution. The one person who would help her find the answers she was so desperately seeking. Olivia closed her eyes and Disapparated.

* * *

"Good lord, Olivia!" Remus exclaimed as she Apparated into his living room. He dropped the book he had been reading as he jumped up from his chair. "What are you doing here so late?"

"Have you heard the rumors?" she asked by way of greeting.

"Rumors? What are you talking about?"

"You haven't heard anything?"

"I live in the middle of nowhere," Remus replied, his expression quite bemused. "If it's not huge, I don't hear it."

"Well, this is huge," Olivia said grimly. "You'd better sit back down."

Remus resumed his position in his recently vacated chair. "Have a seat yourself."

"I can't," she said, beginning to pace. "I'm too worked up."

"So I see," Remus replied. "Do you want some tea or something before you start?"

"No, I don't have the patience for it right now," she said quickly. "Remus, did you know that James's mother was killed?"

"What?" Remus replied, horrified. "When? How? What happened?"

"We think that it was Voldemort," she replied. "We think that he thought that she was James and Lily's Secret Keeper."

"Oh, God," Remus whispered, twisting his hands together. "James is going to be crushed. Does he know yet?"

"Sirius went to tell him a few hours ago, but I haven't heard from him yet."

"So we don't know how they're doing."

"No," Olivia said. "Sirius was pretty broken up, I can tell you that much."

"Of course," Remus murmured. "She was like a mother to him, and if she was killed because they thought she was their Secret Keeper . . . well, Sirius is bound to feel responsible."

"Yeah, he wasn't making much sense before he left," Olivia said. "But, Remus, we can get back to that . . . there's more."

"More?"

"More," Olivia said. This time she knelt down in front of him, looking up at him with worried eyes. "I want you to tell me that there's no way that what I'm about to tell you could possibly be true."

"Well, I need to know what it is first," Remus replied.

She drew a deep breath. "I was at Mrs. Potter's house, helping with the investigation, when this man came running in. He was a wizard, dressed in his robes and all. He started screaming that Voldemort was gone."

"Gone? How can he be gone?"

"That's what I'd like to know," Olivia said. "This man said that Harry had destroyed him."

"Harry," Remus repeated. "Our Harry? James and Lily's Harry?"

"The very same."

"Impossible," Remus said, brushing the news aside with a wave of his hand. "The only way that could have happened is if Voldemort could have found them, and we both know that Sirius would never betray them. And even if that did happen, how could Harry destroy Voldemort? He's just a baby."

Olivia exhaled and grabbed Remus's hands, squeezing them tightly. "Thank God. Thank God you agree with me. I knew you would. I knew you wouldn't believe this insanity."

"But I wonder what would make that man think that," Remus mused. "I mean, hardly anyone knows how much danger they're in . . . hardly anyone knows they've gone into hiding. Why would he think that Harry could destroy Voldemort? Why not say Dumbledore or someone more . . . well, an adult."

"I don't know," Olivia said, pressing her hands against her eyes. "None of this makes any sense."

A flash of light filled the room, and a golden phoenix feather fell down on Remus's coffee table. He picked up the parchment that accompanied it, handing one piece to Olivia.

"There's one for each of us."

They both read silently for a moment, then raised their eyes to look at one another.

"Does yours say the same thing mine does?" Olivia asked.

"To get to Dumbledore's office as soon as possible?"

"Yes."

"Let's go. We can Floo from here into his office," Remus said, standing up. "Maybe we'll be able to get some answers."

* * *

Olivia climbed out of the fireplace in Dumbledore's office first. She straightened up as she stepped out of the hearth, and brushed the soot off her robes.

"Good evening, Olivia," Dumbledore said. "How are you?"

"Agitated," she replied. "The rumors . . . it's as though everyone has gone insane, Professor."

"Yes," he said slowly, folding his fingers together. "It is as though the very world itself as been turned, isn't it?"

Olivia frowned, beginning to feel worried. She was sure that Dumbledore would instantly put her fears to rest. She was about to question him further when Remus appeared in the grate.

"Hello, Professor," he said as he climbed out of the fireplace.

"Good, you're both here," Dumbledore said, giving them a sad smile. "Have a seat, both of you."

Remus and Olivia exchanged a glance, then took two chairs that were side-by-side in front of Dumbledore's desk. He looked at them for a long moment.

"Olivia tells me that she has heard something of the news that has been flying about tonight," Dumbledore said at last. "Remus, have you heard the same?"

"Only what Olivia told me," Remus replied. "Just that Harry has destroyed Voldemort . . . I can't believe that it's possible. For one thing, he's just a baby. How could he do such a thing? And, more importantly, Sirius has been protecting James and Lily though the Fidelius Charm. How could Voldemort even find them?"

"Very logical arguments," Dumbledore said slowly. "Unfortunately, in this case, logic will not help us."

"What?" Olivia asked suddenly. "What do you mean? Professor, please, tell us what's going on! We can't get in touch with Lily and James, Sirius has all but disappeared . . . I can't stand not knowing the truth anymore!"

"The truth," Dumbledore sighed. "I ask you both to prepare yourselves. What I am about to tell you will not be easy to hear. I thought it best that you heard it from me before it appears in all the papers tomorrow."

Olivia and Remus exchanged a look. Each of them saw their own fear reflected in the other's eyes. Olivia held out her hand and Remus grasped it firmly.

"We're ready," he said, looking directly into Dumbledore's eyes. "Just tell us."

Dumbledore drew a deep breath. "You've told me, Remus, that you both have heard that Harry destroyed Voldemort. That is not simply an idle rumor. It is true."

"How is that possible?" Olivia asked, her voice rising an octave from its normal level.

"Earlier this evening, Lord Voldemort went to James and Lily's house," Dumbledore said gently. "He – he murdered both James and Lily, and attempted to murder Harry –"

Dumbledore's voice stopped at a cry from Olivia. She had released Remus's hand as both of hers flew to her face.

"How is that possible?" she cried again. "There's no way he could find them – James and Lily – they can't – they can't be – he couldn't have –"

Remus looked at her for a moment. He was gripping the arms of his chair so hard that his knuckles were completely white. He looked back at Dumbledore, his lips shaking slightly as he spoke. "Are you saying that James and Lily . . .?"

"James and Lily have died," Dumbledore said softly. "We have moved their bodies to St. Mungo's mortuary until funeral arrangements can be made . . . in light of all that has happened, I think it would be best if the two of you were the ones to make those arrangements."

"The two of us," Olivia repeated as though in a daze. "What about Sirius? Shouldn't he help us with that? They were his best friends, too."

"Sirius is in no position to assist with anything related to the Potter family," Dumbledore said a bit harshly.

"What are you trying to say?" Olivia asked.

Remus's eyes widened. "He was their Secret Keeper . . . no one could find them unless he told them how to . . ."

Dumbledore looked at Remus and nodded. "He led Voldemort to the Potters."

Any color that remained in Remus's face drained out of it; even his lips lost their color. He dropped his head into his hands.

"No, no, no, no, no," he moaned. "How could he do this? He was their best friend . . . their best friend . . ."

"No," Olivia said harshly. "No, Professor, you must be wrong . . . you must be . . ." Tears began to fall quickly down her cheeks.

"Olivia," Dumbledore began softly.

"You must be . . . Tell me you're wrong, Dumbledore! Tell me you're wrong!" she shrieked.

"I'm sorry," Dumbledore said, his own eyes softening with the tears that wanted to fall. "I wish I was wrong, Olivia. I wish there was another way. But all the evidence shows . . . James and Lily told all of us a week ago that Sirius was to be their Secret Keeper. They told all of us that they trusted him."

"Of course they did," Remus muttered, lifting his head from his hands. "When had he ever done anything to prove himself less than trustworthy?"

"You both know that we've had a spy within the Order for some time now," Dumbledore began. "That person was passing Voldemort information about the Potters . . . he made it possible for the Death Eaters to attempt to kill Harry on multiple occasions. The information that this person possessed made me believe that it was someone very close to them, someone who would know the small details of their life."

"You think Sirius is the spy," Remus said hoarsely.

Dumbledore nodded. "Yes. I do."

Olivia gave a cry, and brought her hands up over her face again. "Where is he now?" she asked desperately.

Dumbledore sighed. "You have brought us to the next part of our story," he said. "Sirius, so it would appear, tried to run for it after handing the Potters over to Voldemort. Unfortunately, a friend guessed his intention, and tracked him to London."

"A friend?" Remus repeated with a frown. His eyes widened again. "Not . . . Peter?"

"Yes," Dumbledore said heavily. "Peter Pettigrew chased Sirius into London, where he attempted to corner him."

"Oh, no," Remus murmured. "Peter could never duel . . . even at Hogwarts, we could never teach him any but the simplest jinxes . . ." He looked up at the professor. "Tell me he didn't try to take Sirius on himself."

"I'm afraid he did."

Remus dropped his head into his hands again. "Sirius didn't – he didn't –"

"Peter was killed in the course of the battle between the two, along with twelve Muggles."

"_Twelve Muggles_?" Olivia exclaimed. "What happened to kill all those people?"

"It was a very powerful curse that Sirius used to kill Mr. Pettigrew," Dumbledore said.

"He killed all those people with _one curse_?" Olivia cried.

"Yes," Dumbledore replied. "As I have said, it was very powerful. All that could be found of Peter was a finger."

Remus doubled over. "Oh, God," he moaned. When he looked up again, he was rather green. "And now Sirius is . . .?"

"In Azkaban," Dumbledore confirmed. "I have already given my evidence to the Ministry that he was the Potters' Secret Keeper. I believe it is their intention to keep him in Azkaban without a trial."

Olivia gave a cry, but did not speak. She buried her face in her hands.

"Peter is gone . . . James and Lily . . ." Remus murmured. "Professor, what happened to Harry? You said that he defeated Voldemort . . .?"

"It would appear that Voldemort attempted to kill him," Dumbledore said slowly. "But, for some reason, his Killing Curse did not work properly. My best assessment of the situation is that it hit Harry, but rebounded, striking Voldemort."

"Harry is dead, then, too?" Olivia asked dully, raising her head to look at Dumbledore.

"No," Dumbledore clarified. "Harry is alive and quite well."

"Where is he? Do you have him here?" Remus asked at once. "I'll take him, Dumbledore. He's lost his parents, his grandmother, his godfather . . ." He trailed off, then swallowed hard. "I'll take care of him. I'll make sure that he is cared for as Lily and James wanted."

"Ah, Remus, you know that I would love to let you have him, but I cannot," Dumbledore said, his eyes reflecting his sorrow. "Harry has been sent to live with his aunt."

"With Lily's sister?" Olivia shrieked. "No, Dumbledore, you can't! You can't possibly let him live with her! The woman _hates_ Lily – there's no way she'll take care of Harry as she should!"

"She is the best one to have him," Dumbledore replied gently. He looked at both of them for a long moment. "It is my belief that Lily died to save Harry. Her death put a magical protection in his blood – a protection that can only be sealed if he makes his home with others who share that blood."

"Petunia's the only family that Lily has," Remus muttered. "And so Harry must remain with her?"

"Yes," Dumbledore replied. "But it is not an impossible situation. He will remain with her, yes, but he will come to Hogwarts when he is old enough, and join our world again."

"But can you really trust that woman to care for him?" Olivia spat. "I lived with Lily for years, sir, and heard more than enough about her sister to know that she's not exactly a fan of magic. She's not going to tell him that what he can do is normal, or that he'll be going to Hogwarts one day."

"She will raise him as she sees fit," Dumbledore replied. "If she doesn't tell him about magic, that means that he will come to Hogwarts as his mother did, finally realizing that his odd abilities are magic and that there are many others just like him in the world. And, Olivia, I don't believe that you would deny that Lily was an exceptional witch, or suggest that her lack of knowledge about the magical world before coming to Hogwarts was a problem for her."

"No," Olivia sighed. "Lily is – was – one of the most powerful witches I've ever known."

"Exactly."

"But what about the next ten years?" Remus asked. "I know that Harry will be fine once he comes to Hogwarts, but what about the time in between? How do we know that he'll be safe?"

"I will be watching over him," Dumbledore said. "In addition, one of the Dursleys' neighbors is Arabella Figg, whom, of course, you both know. I've already spoken with her, and have been assured that she will do all in her power to keep an eye on Harry."

"So, that's it, then?" Olivia asked dully. "Lily and James are dead, Peter is dead, Sirius is in Azkaban, Harry has been sent to live with Muggles . . . Any other dire news for us, Dumbledore?"

Dumbledore looked at her with a miserable smile. "No, I believe that you have summed it up exceptionally well, Olivia."

Remus looked at Olivia for a long minute, then turned back to face the headmaster. "Is it all right with you if we go home now?"

"Certainly," Dumbledore replied. He looked between them. "However, I do wish to give you one piece of advice: Stay together. Neither of you should be alone right now."

Olivia turned with effort to face Remus. "Will you come back to my house with me?"

"Of course," he replied.

He stood slowly, and helped Olivia to her feet. She barely looked at him as she crossed to the fireplace.

"Thank you, Dumbledore, for being the one to tell us," she said as she seized a fistful of Floo Powder.

"I wish there was another way," he said sadly. "I wish there was nothing to tell."

"So do I," Olivia replied.

She tossed the glittering powder into the grate, and was gone in a swirl of green flames.

* * *

Remus Flooed into Olivia's darkened flat right behind her. She was still trying to beat the soot off her robes when he stepped out of the hearth. She looked up at him with misery showing on her face.

"How did we come to this?" she whispered.

"I don't know," Remus replied.

He turned to look at the mantle, and picked up a picture of all of them at James and Lily's wedding. He looked at Sirius, who had one arm around James's shoulders and the other around Olivia's waist. As he watched, Sirius grinned up at him, then winked and tickled Olivia's side. She began to laugh, and struggled to get away from Sirius, finally collapsing against him. The others laughed at them, and waved up at Remus, their faces reflecting happiness and joyful anticipation of their bright future. _How _did_ we come to this?_ How had they gone from these friends who had celebrated together at one another's weddings to this horrible mess of lies, deception, and murder?

"How is any of this possible?" Remus murmured. He put the picture back in its place, and turned to Olivia. "Do you want me to make us some tea?"

"No," she said calmly. She turned her back to him. "I don't think that I can handle it right now. I'd probably smash my cup without even realizing that I'm using magic."

"Right," Remus replied. "Well, do you want to talk, then?"

Olivia shook her head wordlessly, still facing away from him.

"Liv?" Remus asked gently.

Without warning, she began to sob. Horrible, heart-wrenching sobs shook her body and tore from her throat with such force that she didn't think she'd ever be able to talk again. Unable to breathe normally through her tears, she began to take gulping breaths.

Remus crossed the room in an instant, and crushed her against him. She turned around in his arms so that she could hug him, clinging to him as though it would keep her alive. Unable to control her tears, she continued to sob into his chest, knowing that his arms around her were the only thing keeping her on her feet. He cried with her, bowing his head to let his tears fall into her hair, his own body shaking with the sobs that wracked through him.

"Oh, God, Remus," Olivia sobbed. "I've lost everything – everything . . ."

"Liv . . ."

"No, I have," she insisted. "I've lost my best friends . . . Harry is gone . . . I've lost _Sirius_ . . ." The sobbing began again, and she buried her face in his chest.

"Hold on, Olivia," he murmured through his own sobs, holding her so tightly that she could barely catch her breath. "You have to hold on . . . I'm still here . . . you still have me . . . we still have each other . . ."

They stayed locked in one another's arms, sobbing hysterically for what felt like forever. When they had finally managed to calm down a bit, Remus put his fingers under Olivia's chin, tipping her face up so that he could look into her eyes.

"Let's sit down," he said.

She nodded, and they moved to the couch together. Even after they had sat down, they remained curled to together, unable to break the physically connection of touching another living person.

"Oh, God, Remus," Olivia sighed again, pillowing her head against his shoulder. "What are we going to do now?"

"Olivia, I meant what I said before," Remus said softly, brushing at her hair. "We still have each other. We'll always be friends . . . I think we're really going to need one another now."

She nodded against him, but remained silent.

"And we have Dana," Remus added. "We haven't been completely ripped apart."

"Dana's so far away," Olivia said in a small voice.

"Not that far," Remus replied. "Think of all the times she's come home. Distance isn't that horrible, is it?"

"I suppose not," Olivia sighed. "Can we not talk about this anymore?"

"Sure."

She sighed, and snuggled even closer to him. "I just want to stay like this, Remus. If we stay like this, we don't have to face anyone else. We can stay in my house, all curled up together on my couch, and pretend that no one else knows what's happened – that no one else is celebrating Voldemort's demise, never thinking of the destruction that was left in its path. We can just be together and mourn alone."

"We need to tell Dana."

"She doesn't need to know yet," Olivia replied. "Let her have a little longer to think that everyone is fine."

Remus nodded, and kissed the top of her head. "We'll stay like this, if it's what you want."

"Thank you," she sighed.

Remus tightened his arms around her, pulling her closer. She closed her eyes, letting herself fall into the comfort of his embrace.


	60. Search for Understanding

A/N: Yeah, I cried again over this one. I'm turning into a water park. Thanks for reading and reviewing, everyone, and thank you for all your support! I love you all!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Search for Understanding

Petunia pulled herself out of bed as she heard the water start in the shower. She would make breakfast while Vernon was showering; hopefully, Dudley would wait until she was through before screaming to be released from his crib.

She pulled on a robe over her nightgown, and left her bedroom, closing the door softly behind her. After pausing to look in on Dudley, who was still sleeping like an angel, she made her way downstairs, into the kitchen.

The milk bottles were sitting on the counter, waiting to be put outside. She gathered them up, and opened the door. She bent down to put them on the doorstep, and jumped back, shrieking so loudly that she scared a bird out of the tree in the front yard.

She set the milk bottles down just inside the door, and then walked back toward the doorstep with trepidation. She hadn't been imagining things. The baby that she had seen upon opening the door was still there. Awakened by her shriek of surprise, he was now crying. Without thinking about it, she bent down to pick him up.

"Hush," she murmured. "Where on earth did you come from?"

She looked back down, and saw the letter that accompanied him. She recognized her name on the front of it, written in green letters.

"No," she gasped. "No, it can't be."

Her eyes flew back to the baby in her arms. His black hair was sticking up in a thousand different directions, and his face looked oddly familiar. Even so, she was sure there was nothing of her family in his little face. There was no way he could be her nephew . . .

Then he turned his head to look up at her, and she saw his eyes. She gasped again. It was as though she was looking into her sister's eyes.

"My God," she whispered. "You're Lily's Harry, aren't you? What's happened to her? What happened to your mother?"

She bent down again to pick up the letter, and carried both it and the baby into the house.

She went straight into the living room, where she sat down with Harry in her lap, and began to read the letter. As she read it, her eyes grew larger and larger. When she had finished, she read it again. Finally believing some of what it said, she looked at Harry.

"Well," she said softly, "isn't happened, then? Your mother finally got herself in too far with all that magic. She finally got herself killed. I knew it was going to be nothing but trouble when she married your father. I knew it – I knew something like this . . ."

To her great surprise, Harry looked up at her with wide eyes, his expression reminding her of her sister when she had been scared as a little girl.

"Mummy?" he asked. "Daddy?"

She sighed. "I suppose you're going to miss them, aren't you?"

"Mummy?" he asked again.

"Mummy isn't here, Harry," she murmured, surprised by how hard it was for her to say the words. She swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat. Despite all her words against Lily, she had been her sister. Petunia had never expected her sister to come to a good end – not after she went to that freakish school and took up with that horrible Potter – but she had never wished her dead.

Tears filled Harry's green eyes, again reminding Petunia forcibly of her sister's face. This time the picture that appeared in her mind's eye was of Lily the last time she had seen her, when she had been heartbroken over their parents' deaths.

"Mummy?" he whimpered.

"Hush," Petunia said. "Mummy's gone, Harry, and . . ." She trailed off and swallowed again, looking back at the letter she still held. "I suppose you're going to stay with me from now on."

"Petunia?" Vernon asked, still tying his tie as he came down the stairs. "Who are you talking to?" His eyes widened as he saw the baby sitting in her lap. "Who's that?"

Petunia looked at the baby, then up at her husband. "This is my nephew, Harry Potter," she said as though in a daze.

"Harry Potter? Your sister's son?"

"Yes."

"What's he doing here?" He narrowed his eyes. "_They_ aren't here, are they?"

"No, they . . ." She took a deep breath. "Well – they're dead, Vernon."

"Dead? What happened? Spell gone wrong?"

"They were killed," Petunia said stiffly. "By an evil . . . one of them."

"Oh," Vernon said, frowning. "So what's he doing here?"

"This letter says that . . . that Lily wanted us to raise him."

"Didn't she have any friends of her own kind who could do that?"

"I – I guess not."

Vernon shook his head. "I don't know, Petunia . . . Is he like them?"

"I suppose," she replied with a shrug. "They both were . . . had those abnormalities. But, that doesn't always mean . . . my grandparents were like them, too, but my parents and I are all normal."

Vernon nodded. "Do you think there's some way that we can . . . I don't know . . . make sure he's normal, too?"

"We can try," Petunia said. "I don't know much about it. But, Vernon, I want to keep him. My parents would have a fit if they knew I sent their grandchild to an orphanage."

"I suppose you're right," Vernon said stiffly. He could never deny Petunia anything related to her parents, not after they had died on the day he had married her.

Petunia paused for a moment, looking out the window. "And, besides, how would it look to the neighbors if we just shoved our nephew out on the streets? We can't let everyone think the worst of us."

"Fine," Vernon said grudgingly. "We'll keep him. But we're going to do our best to make sure he turns out normal, Petunia. I don't want one of them in the house."

"I know," she agreed, balling up the parchment bearing Dumbledore's words on the subject. "I don't want another reminder of that life hanging over me all the time. He's going to be just as normal as Dudley. We just won't let him ask questions about his past."

"If he wants to know what happened to his parents, we'll tell him they died in a car crash," Vernon added. "That's a plausible story." He crossed to look down at the baby. "And it'll explain that scar on his forehead. What do you suppose that came from?"

Petunia shuddered. "I don't think I want to know."

* * *

"Good morning, Mum," Dana smiled as she walked into the kitchen.

"Bonjour," Mrs. Morgan smiled. "Is Laura sleeping in today?"

"She hasn't started screaming yet, so I'll take that as a yes," Dana grinned. "It's about time. That girl needs to learn that Mummy doesn't think that getting up at five every morning is a good idea."

Mrs. Morgan smiled. "You were the same way, you know. I don't think you slept past dawn until you were a year old."

"Ugh," Dana sighed. "I don't think I'll make it that far. Six months is quite long enough."

Mrs. Morgan laughed as she went outside to get the paper, leaving Dana to pour her coffee. She looked up from adding milk as her mother came in with an odd expression on her face.

"Are you all right, Mum?"

"Yes . . . Have you heard from any of your friends from home recently?"

"Not since before Lily and James went into hiding," Dana replied. "Why? What's going on?"

"Well, I'm sure it must be wrong . . . I mean, I'm sure they would have told you . . ."

"Mum. What does that paper say?"

Mrs. Morgan put the paper down on the table. "It says that Harry Potter destroyed You-Know-Who."

"What?" Dana exclaimed. "No, Mum, that doesn't make sense . . ."

"I know, baby, but that's what it says."

Dana snatched the paper up and began to read, thankful that her mother had insisted they keep receiving the Daily Prophet in English. There was no way her limited French would have allowed her to take in this entire story. As she read, her eyes grew wider and wider. Halfway through the story, she sank down into a chair.

"No," she said jerkily. "No, it isn't possible. No, there's no way . . . there's no way."

"Dana, what does it say?" Mrs. Morgan asked.

Dana looked up at her with tragic eyes. "It says – it says that Lily and James have died."

"Died?" Mrs. Morgan repeated. "How is that possible? You said that they were going into hiding – that Sirius was their Secret Keeper . . ."

"I know what I said," Dana replied. "And I know what they told me. But this paper says that Voldemort went to their house, that he killed James and Lily and tried to kill Harry . . . but Harry escaped."

"How is that possible?" Mrs. Morgan asked, jumping slightly at the sound of the Dark Lord's name on her daughter's lips. "Harry's just a baby! There's no way he could live through the Killing Curse."

"I know, but that's what it says," Dana replied. "It says that he tried to kill Harry, but something happened . . . Harry lived, but You-Know-Who has vanished . . . Harry defeated him."

"Dana, none of this makes any sense at all!" Mrs. Morgan replied. "Can you honestly tell me that you believe a word of it?"

Dana didn't reply. She thought of all the times that Lily and James had moved, of the way they had always been a special target of the Death Eaters, of all the measures they had taken to protect their son. What if . . . what if this was somehow, in some sick, twisted turn of events, _true_?

Dana looked at the clock, thankful that it was her day off from the hospital. "Mum, can I leave Laura with you?"

"Of course, Dana, but where are you going?"

Dana stood up and crossed to take the Floo powder from the mantle. "To get some answers."

* * *

Stiffness.

Remus had never felt so stiff in his entire life. The entire left side of his body felt as though it would never move again.

He opened his eyes with difficulty, and looked down. He was on Olivia's couch, curled up into an awkward position. Olivia was there with him, still sleeping, using him as her personal mattress and pillow. What was he doing here? Why was she lying against him like that?

As though in a flood, the events of the previous night came pouring back over him. He and Olivia had gone to Dumbledore's office . . . Dumbledore had told them about James and Lily . . . about Harry . . . about Peter . . . about Sirius . . .

Remus brought his free right hand to his face and rubbed his eyes as though in doing so he could rub out the truth. Was it possible that yesterday morning he had awoken to the happy, freeing thought that James, Lily and Harry were safe? Was it possible that only yesterday afternoon he had still counted Sirius as one of his friends? How could so much change so quickly?

He shook his wrist to bring the face of his watch into view, sighing as he saw the position of the hands. He had only managed to sleep for three hours. It was better than nothing, and, hopefully, it would get him through the day.

Olivia stirred against him, burying her face in his robes for a moment. She breathed deeply, expecting in her sleep-logged mind that she would smell the familiar scents she associated with Sirius. But her senses were assaulted with scents that had nothing to do with her fiancé. Confusion reined for a moment as she tried to sort everything into its proper place. Where was she? Who was she sleeping against? When she looked up, her eyes were startled.

"Remus," she breathed. "What happened? Why are you . . .?" She trailed off as the memory of the night before washed over her. "Oh, God," she moaned. "It's really true, isn't it? They're really gone. It wasn't all a horrible nightmare."

"I'm sorry," Remus sighed, pulling her close again. "It's real. We're living the nightmare."

Olivia began to cry again, burying her face in his shoulder. He held her close, letting her cry. He felt his own emotions well up inside him again. He was too tired to fight anymore. He was too stunned to be the strong one. Still holding Olivia and stroking her hair, he let his own tears slide slowly down his face.

The fireplace jumped to life, ending their moment of shared grief. Dana came flying out of it, her eyes wide with terror.

"What the hell is going on?" she cried. "What's this rubbish the Prophet is printing?"

"Dana," Olivia began, unable to control her sobbing. "Oh, God, I didn't think you'd hear this fast . . . we should have been the ones to tell you."

Dana looked at them, barely taking in Olivia's words as the truth hit her like a ton of bricks. She sank down to her knees, shrieking as she began to cry. "Oh, God, what's happened? What's happened to us?"

Olivia jumped up from the couch and the shelter of Remus's arms, and ran to her friend. She fell down to her knees next to her, and pulled her into an embrace.

"They're gone," Olivia sobbed. "James and Lily are gone. Peter's gone. Sirius . . ." She was unable to continue; sobs shook her body.

Dana raised stricken eyes to look at Remus, begging him without words to tell her that Olivia was wrong, that this entire story was an elaborate hoax. He nodded, trying to control his own tears.

"It's true. Sirius sold them to Voldemort."

"Oh, God, no!" Dana screamed. She clung to Olivia as she began to sob.

Remus got up with difficulty, amazed that Olivia had managed to bounce up like that after sleeping on a couch in a crunched-up position. He made his way across the room, and pulled the girls to their feet. They both reached for him, and he held them close. The three of them cried together in a many-armed hug, drawing strength from one another.

When at last they had calmed down, they sat down together in the living room with the steaming mugs of tea that Dana had insisted where necessary. Remus and Olivia told her all that Dumbledore had told them the day before, about Sirius's betrayal, about James and Lily's deaths, about Harry's miraculous survival, about Peter's attempt to take Sirius on by himself.

"He was so stupid," Olivia muttered. "He should have known he'd never stand a chance against Sirius. Sirius was always more powerful than he was."

"Grief makes people do stupid things," Remus sighed. "None of us can say that we would have done things differently if we had known what had happened earlier."

"But we would have been more equally-matched against him," Olivia said angrily. She buried her face in her hands. "How can you think that you know someone so well, then find out that you didn't know him at all?"

"We'd all like to know that," Dana sighed, running her hands over her face. "So many years . . . We've been friends since we were little kids. How could we have gone so long without realizing . . .?"

Olivia's face crumpled again, and Dana hastily changed her track.

"Has anyone made any funeral arrangements yet?"

"No," Remus replied. "Dumbledore said it's up to us."

"Peter's mum will probably take care of his funeral," Olivia said. "I think we just have to plan something for James and Lily."

"When are we going to start on that?" Dana asked.

"Whenever you girls want to," Remus replied. "We should probably do it sooner rather than later . . . it'll give us something to focus on. I think we all need that, or we're going to go insane."

Dana nodded, and rose to her feet. "Let me go home and get my schedule, then we'll try to work something out. Is that okay?"

"Yeah," Olivia said. "Listen, why don't you go spend some time with Laura and your mum? Come back tonight after dinner, and we'll work out all the arrangements then. All right?"

"Yeah, that's fine," Dana replied. "How's eight o'clock?"

"Great," Olivia said dully. "We'll see you then."

Dana hugged them both again, then disappeared via Floo network. Once she was gone, Olivia turned to Remus.

"Do you want something for breakfast?"

"I'm not sure I could eat."

She gave him a reproachful look. "Aren't you the one who always says it's vitally important to eat?"

"All right, all right, let's eat."

They worked together to make breakfast, but, despite their best efforts, the food was barely edible. They picked at it anyway, knowing that even if it had been prepared by the most talented of the Hogwarts house-elves, neither of them would have wanted to eat it. Finally, Remus pushed his plate away.

"Liv, I'm sorry, but I just can't eat right now."

She sighed, pushing her own plate away. "Neither can I."

"Listen, is it all right with you if I run home? I just want to shower and change, and then I'll come back."

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Are you sure?" Remus asked, looking at her intently. "I won't leave if you don't want me to."

"No, Remus, don't be stupid," she replied. "I'll be fine for a couple of hours. You're right. We both need to shower and change after spending all night in these clothes, and I know you don't have anything here to change into. Just go home, and take your time."

He stood up slowly. "I'll be back in time for lunch, all right? We can not eat together again."

A ghost of a smile flitted across her face. "I'd like that."

He leaned down to kiss her forehead. "I'll see you soon."

She grabbed his hand, and looked up at him with teary eyes. "Thank you, Remus, for . . . for everything."

He squeezed her hand. "Thank _you_, too."

* * *

When Remus stepped out of his fireplace, there were two people sitting in his kitchen. He jumped back, nearly falling into the grate again.

"Oh, Remus!"

He barely had time to register his mother's voice before she had thrown her arms around him. Drawing a deep breath didn't help; the sobs began to shake his body again as he let his head drop onto his mother's shoulder.

His father crossed the kitchen and put his arms around them both. Locked in his parents' arms, Remus sobbed out all his anguish, wondering if he would ever be able to stop the tears. He thought of what he had told Lily after Laura had died – that if he ever really started to cry, he would never be able to stop. He was sure that he had found that point.

When Remus was finally able to stop crying, he and his parents sat down together. Mrs. Lupin seemed reluctant to let go of him.

"We came as soon as we saw the paper this morning," she said. "Where have you been?"

"With Olivia," Remus replied. "Dumbledore called us in to his office last night, and told us everything . . . He told us not to be alone, so I stayed with her last night."

Mrs. Lupin nodded. "Yes, that makes sense." She swallowed. "How is Olivia?"

"She feels the same way I do," Remus replied. "Completely and utterly lost." He swallowed, feeling the tears well up in his eyes again. "She said it last night, and I told her she was wrong, but . . . Mum, Dad, I've lost everything. Everything."

"Remus, don't talk like that," Mrs. Lupin said quickly. "You still have so much . . ."

Remus laughed hollowly. "Mum, in the past year I've lost my wife, my hope of having a family with her, four of my best friends, and any chance of ever seeing Harry again. What exactly do I have left?"

"You have us," Mr. Lupin said, reaching across to take Remus's hands. "I know things are tough, Remus, but so are you. You're the strongest person I've ever known. I know you can battle through this."

"Battle through to get to what on the other side?" Remus asked bitterly. "My friends are gone, I don't have any hope of ever having a decent career . . . What exactly is it that I'm battling for?"

"You're battling for yourself," Mr. Lupin said urgently. "You're battling because you don't know how to stop fighting. You don't know how to give up, Remus. You don't know how because you've never done it before. You went to Hogwarts when we thought it was impossible, you kept your friends when you were sure they'd abandon you. You got married when no one like you had ever done it. You set the standard, Remus, you always have."

"You have to fight, Remus," Mrs. Lupin said in a low voice, grabbing his arm. "Watching you fight all these years has always been an inspiration to me. Don't you dare give up now."

"We've never given up on you," Mr. Lupin said. "Don't give up on us."

"You still have Olivia and Dana, too," Mrs. Lupin said. "And, as I recall, Dana wants you to be a very active member of her daughter's life. How would your Laura feel if she knew that you had given up on the little girl that bears her name?"

Remus looked away from them, unable to meet their eyes as he admitted the weakness he felt. "Do you know how hard this is for me?"

"Yes," Mr. Lupin replied. "I know that it feels like an impossible task. But I also know that if anyone can make the impossible happen, you can."

Remus rubbed his hands over his eyes, trying to wipe away the tears that had started to fall again. He stood to his feet, surprising both of his parents.

"I need to take a shower," he muttered.

"Go," Mrs. Lupin said. "We'll be here when you're done."

He nodded, and made his way to the bathroom. Standing under the steady streams of hot water, he thought of all that his parents had said. They were right, of course. He had never given up before. But he had never had to fight on through so much tragedy, either.

But he would try – for them. He could never ask them to sit by and watch him destroy himself from the inside out. After all they had done for him, after all they had sacrificed for him, he could never put them through that.

* * *

After the longest shower she had taken in years, Olivia shut off the water. She dried off and wrapped herself in a warm bathrobe, then opened the bathroom door to go to her bedroom to get dressed.

She stepped out into the hall, and jumped when she realized that voices were drifting toward her. Holding her robe closed with one hand and her wand in the other, she made her way down the hall silently.

She rounded the corner into the living room, and her wand dropped from her hand. "Mum? Dad? What are you doing here?"

"Where else would we be?" Mrs. Alexander asked, crossing to enfold her daughter in her arms. "How are you, darling?"

"I – I – How do you think I am?"

"Olivia, darling, please don't get snappish," Mrs. Alexander sighed. "We came to make sure that you're all right."

"And to gloat?" she asked, pulling back from her mother to look into her father's eyes. "Have you come to tell me that I should have listened to you all along, Dad? Have you come to tell me that I was just a stupid, love-struck little girl to ever think that Sirius Black could have been a good man?"

"Olivia, I never said that," Mr. Alexander said. "I know that I never supported your relationship with him, but I would never think of you as a stupid little girl."

"Oh, right, and you're just heartbroken that this happened, I'm sure!" she screamed.

"Do you think that this is what I wanted for you?" Mr. Alexander asked quietly. Sorrow crept into his eyes. "I never could have imagined this heartbreak in your future."

"But, anything to get Sirius away from me, right?"

"Olivia, you're being unreasonable," Mrs. Alexander said. "Your father hasn't said a word against Sirius –"

"Where you there when I told him that I was going to marry Sirius?" Olivia asked. "No, you weren't – you were off with John, trying to get him to convince me that Sirius wasn't right for me. Well, when you left us alone together, Dad told me that I was making a horrible mistake, and that I'd regret it!"

"I should never have said that, Livie," Mr. Alexander began.

"And what did John tell you? What did he tell you both?" Olivia yelled, ignoring her father's words. "He told you that he had worked with Sirius for a long time, and that he thought that he was trustworthy! He thought that Sirius really did love me!" A mirthless laugh escaped her lips. "Look at that! It wasn't just me who was fooled, it was John, too! Does that make it better? Does that make me a little less of an idiot?"

"Olivia, please," Mrs. Alexander begged with tears in her eyes. "Please, just let us speak – just listen to us –"

"I've listened enough," Olivia replied. "I've been listening to you ever since I started dating Sirius back at Hogwarts. I can't listen anymore. I need to get dressed."

She stalked off down the hall to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

* * *

After his shower, Remus felt somewhat refreshed. Dressed in clean robes, he went back into the living room. His mother jumped up when he came in.

"Do you want some lunch?" she asked.

"No, I promised Olivia I'd eat with her," he replied.

"Okay," Mrs. Lupin said.

Remus crossed the room, and pulled her close. "Thank you," he whispered.

She hugged him tightly, hoping that he had found a way to come back to them.

Remus pulled away, and looked at both of his parents. "Thank you for being here," he said softly. "I just want you to know that I won't give up. I'll – I'll battle on, like you said."

Mr. Lupin smiled, and hugged him. "I knew you would."

Remus detached himself from his parents. "I'd better get back to Olivia. She'll wonder what's happened to me."

"Remus, if you need anything . . ."

He nodded. "I'll come to see you soon, I promise."

Then, with a hint of a smile, he Disapparated.

* * *

When Remus Apparated into Olivia's living room, he was surprised to see her parents sitting there. He tried to smile, but failed.

"Hello," he said. He glanced around the room, but could find no sign of his friend. "Is Olivia home?"

"She's in her room," Mrs. Alexander said quietly. "She wasn't very happy to see us."

Remus nodded silently.

"Can you try to talk to her, Remus?" Mrs. Alexander asked. "She won't listen to us . . . we're worried about her."

"I'll try," Remus replied.

Taking a deep breath, he walked down the hall to Olivia's bedroom. He knocked on the closed door, knowing that she had probably put about ten locking charms on it.

"Go away!" she yelled.

"Liv, it's Remus," he called back. "Can I come in?"

There was a moment of silence, then the door opened. Olivia stood framed in the doorway, looking even more haggard than she had when he had left her that morning.

"Are they still here?" she asked dully, opening the door wide enough for Remus to step inside the room.

"Yes," Remus said, closing the door behind him. "They're worried about you, Liv."

"Only because they know that I'm angry with them," she replied.

"Why are you angry with them?"

Tears filled her eyes. "Because they were right," she whispered.

"About what?"

"They told me to stay away from Sirius," she said, her tears beginning to fall. "They told me not to trust him, that he would break my heart, that he was trouble, that he came from a bad family . . . I told them, over and over, that he wasn't like the rest of his family, that he was different, that he loved me . . ." She dissolved into tears.

Remus crossed the room to pull her close. "He did love you," he whispered.

"How can you say that?" she asked, pulling back to look at him. "How can you even think that?"

"Because it's true," he said. "I saw the way he looked at you, Liv. I saw the way his face would light up when you came into a room. I saw the way his heart broke when you broke up with him, and I saw the way it came back together when you guys started dating again. I saw how excited he was about your wedding." He paused and swallowed before continuing. "He may have been living a lie about everything else, but, Liv, I'm sure that he really did love you."

She buried her face in his shoulder and cried. Remus remained silent, holding her until the spasm of tears was spent.

"I need to go talk to my parents," she said. "And we need to get ready for Dana."

"That's right. I forgot she was coming back."

"Remus – I don't think I can handle making funeral arrangements today."

"We can do it another day," Remus replied. "Should I tell Dana to come tomorrow instead?"

"No, I still want her to come – but there's something else I want the three of us to do tonight."

"What?"

"I want us to go to James and Lily's house."

"Liv . . ."

"No, Remus, I think we really need to do it. I think it will help us all."

He sighed. "All right. If you think it will help."

"I do. I really do."

* * *

When Dana Flooed into Olivia's flat with her schedule book in hand, she was shocked to see both Remus and Olivia wearing cloaks. She brushed the soot from her robes, looking at them in confusion.

"What's going on?" she asked, looking from one to the other.

"We're going on a trip," Olivia replied, her expression making in clear that she would not take no for an answer.

"Where are we going?" Dana asked.

"To James and Lily's house."

Dana looked to Remus as though hoping he would refute Olivia's statement. He cleared his throat.

"Olivia thinks it will do us good to see it," he said slowly.

"How are we going to find it?" Dana asked.

"I've already gone to see Dumbledore," Olivia said. "He told me where it was."

"Was?" Dana repeated.

Olivia nodded. "It was destroyed when Harry defeated Voldemort."

"Liv, are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Yes," she said fiercely. "Here's the address. Come on, let's go."

* * *

They all knew that the house had been destroyed. Even so, none of them was prepared for the sight that met their eyes as they Apparated into what had been James and Lily's front yard. Remus stopped dead, Olivia sucked in her breath quickly, and Dana grabbed Remus's hand, squeezing it so tightly that he was afraid the bones would break.

"Good lord," Dana whispered. "Did all this happen when he tried to curse Harry?"

"That's what Dumbledore said."

Olivia shook her head. "They would have been heartbroken to see their house like this."

"What exactly did you want us to do here, Liv?" Dana asked.

"I don't know," Olivia said, moving forward. "I guess I just wanted to see what was still here . . . what had survived . . ."

Dana released Remus's hand and followed Olivia into the wreckage of the house. Remus, too, stepped forward, tripping over some small object. He stopped and bent down to examine it.

"What is it?" Olivia asked.

Remus swallowed with difficulty. "James's mirror," he said, looking at his reflection in the small pane of glass. "I gave him and Sirius these mirrors when we were at Hogwarts – you can talk to one another in them."

"Oh, I've seen Sirius use his," Olivia replied. "He says it's one of the most useful gifts he's ever gotten. He and James –" She stopped abruptly, and pushed on through the ruins.

Remus slid the mirror into his pocket, and straightened up. He followed the girls forward.

"Guys, look at this," Dana said.

Olivia and Remus crossed to join her where she was kneeling. She looked up at them with teary eyes.

"Harry's stuffed animals," she whispered. "Here's his lion . . . his dog . . ."

"Doggie Sirius," Remus murmured. "He loved that toy. Sirius gave it to him for his first birthday. It's a really good replica of Sirius's Animagus form. Harry took it everywhere."

Olivia gave a cry, and stumbled away. Something crunched under her foot, and she jumped back. She looked down, and saw that she had stepped on a picture in a broken frame. She picked it up, and gasped.

"What is it?" Dana asked.

Olivia's eyes filled with tears, and her voice died in her throat. Dana and Remus rushed over, and saw the picture in her hands. Dana put her arm around Olivia's shoulders, letting her collapse against her as she dissolved into tears.

Remus took the picture from her, looking at it wordlessly. It showed James and Lily with their arms around one another, grinning at the camera. Sirius was next to them, laughing as he tossed Harry up into the air. The baby was shrieking with laughter, clearly having the time of his life. Olivia stood next to Sirius, looking up at him with an adoring smile.

Remus sighed, and put the picture into his pocket next to the mirror. He couldn't explain it, but he wanted the picture to remind him of the times when they had been happy and whole. He looked back over at the girls. Dana still had her arm around Olivia, trying to comfort her.

Olivia pulled away from Dana with a cry. "How could he do this to us?" she screamed.

"Liv," Dana began.

"Sirius Black, you are a bloody _bastard_!" she shrieked. "They were your bloody _best_ _friends_! When were they not there for you? When? What did they do to deserve this?" She took a gulping breath.

"Liv," Remus said, starting forward."

"You said that you loved me, Sirius!" she screamed. "You said you'd love me forever! What did _I_ do to deserve this? How could you do this to _me_?"

She wrenched the diamond engagement ring from her finger. "I hope those dementors suck the very life out of you, and I hope your soul rots in _hell_!" she screamed.

Before Remus or Dana had time to stop her, she flung her engagement ring into the rubble of James and Lily's house. She collapsed to her knees, tears streaming down her cheeks as she struggled to catch her breath. Dana grabbed her and dragged her to her feet again. She held Olivia's shoulders tightly, trying to keep her standing.

"Olivia, listen to me," she said clearly and loudly. "This was a bad idea. We can come back another day and go through their things. We're leaving now."

Olivia's face contorted as she struggled to stop crying. Dana looked at Remus.

"Get her out of here," he said quietly. "I'll follow you."

Dana nodded. "Grab my arm, Liv. I'm going to take you home."

Olivia nodded, and did as Dana instructed. Once they were gone, Remus pulled his wand from his pocket.

"_Accio Olivia's engagement ring_."

The small piece of jewelry flew toward him, and he caught it, putting it with his wand in his pocket. Somehow, he thought that the day would come when she would regret it if she had lost her ring forever. The ring safely in his pocket, he Disapparated.


	61. The Strength to Persevere

A/N: This is it, everyone. We've reached the last chapter of the story. It has been one fantastic journey, and I'm so glad that all of you were there to take it with me. All of your reviews have made me smile or made me think, and they've all helped to make this story better. I've loved reading your insights. You've spotted things I never even realized I had written, and your suggestions have definitely shaped my writing. I'd like to give special thanks to LogicalRaven, who has literally been with me since Day One of Before Harry: The Marauders' Tale.

I'm not going to do an epilogue as I had initially thought, because I really like the way this chapter ends. I think it draws the story to a good close. However, I'm definitely not ready to let these characters go, so . . .

I'm already working on my next story! I'm still working on the outline and the prologue, but my plan is to set a story about these adult characters during Harry's fifth and sixth years. My very realistic goal is to have the first chapter posted by September 1.

Thank you again for all your support. I love you all, and I'm so glad that you've followed my characters for so long. Thank you! Michelle

I don't own Harry Potter.

The Strength to Persevere

"… _I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds strength to persevere … in spite of overwhelming obstacles."_

_- Christopher Reeve_

The next morning again found Remus awaking on Olivia's couch. He was alone this time; Dana had tucked Olivia into bed when they had returned from James and Lily's house. Dana had stayed with Remus for awhile, then had gone home to be with her mother and daughter. Unwilling to leave Olivia alone, Remus had slept on her couch for the second night in a row. As he pulled himself into a sitting position with some difficulty, he wondered how many more nights would be spent this way.

"Remus?"

He looked up at the sound of Olivia's voice. She was standing in the archway between the living room and the hall that led to the bedrooms, still dressed in her pajamas, looking at him in confusion. She reached up to run a hand through her bedraggled hair.

"Good morning," he said, standing up.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

Remus smiled at her bluntness. "I didn't want to leave you alone – not after what happened yesterday."

Olivia sighed as she walked into the room, dropping into a cushy armchair. "I'm sorry I fell to pieces like that."

"It's all right," Remus replied. "You've been through a horrible ordeal, Liv. You're allowed to grieve. You're allowed to fall apart."

"You never do," she said, looking up at him. "You're going through the same hell I am, but you've managed to stay together."

Remus shook his head. "We both lost three of our best friends, Liv, but in addition to that, I only lost another friend. You lost your fiancé, and, if I may be so bold, the love of your life. There's no comparison between the two."

She ran her hands through her hair. "Still . . . you amaze me. Really, you do. How do you do it, Remus? How do you stay so in control?"

He smiled sadly. "Too many years of dealing, I suppose." He touched her shoulder as he walked past her chair. "I'll go make us some breakfast."

"Is Dana still here?" Olivia called after him as he walked into the kitchen.

"No," he called back, waving his wand to hold the door open. "She went home last night after you fell asleep."

Olivia got up from her chair while he was speaking and made her way to the kitchen. She leaned on the open door, watching him work.

"You could have gone home, too, you know," she said at last. "You didn't have to stay."

"I know," he said, turning to look at her. "I wanted to stay."

"Remus, you don't have to keep babysitting me if you don't want to," she insisted. "I'm a big girl, and I can take care of myself. I promise, I'm not about to do anything stupid, and I'm not going to do anything to hurt myself." She sighed, and ran her hands through her hair, pausing to hold it back from her face for a minute. "Sirius isn't worth _that_. Not if this is the person he really is."

Remus smiled sadly again. "Liv, did it ever occur to you that I'm here as much for _me_ as I am for you?"

She looked at him quizzically. He sighed.

"Olivia, believe me, I'm feeling most of what you are. And I'd far rather wake up in the morning and make breakfast for the two of us than wake up alone in my empty house."

"I never thought . . ."

He smiled sadly. "You know, when Laura died, I almost couldn't see the point of getting out of bed. Why bother, when it was just me in the house? But then Lily started coming to visit – you know, she came over every day with Harry. And I was horrible to her, Liv. I barely even spoke to her. All I would do was play with Harry. But she kept coming, and she kept bringing Harry with her. It hit the point when I knew to expect her. I knew when she would come, and I knew what she would do when she got to my house. I knew what Harry would want to play with, and when he'd want a snack. I knew when Lily would leave to take him home for his nap.

"And, after a few weeks, the most amazing thing happened," he continued. "I started to look forward to their visits. I started to see the point of getting out of bed, because I was excited to play with Harry. I was excited to see if he had learned any new words or any new skills. I even started talking to Lily more. Not about Laura, of course, but about stupid little things that didn't mean anything to anyone. It wasn't _what_ we talked about, it was that we _talked_. The human contact, the friendship – that was what brought me back when I lost Laura."

He smiled slightly. "I'm trying to do that for both of us now, Liv. I'm trying to make sure that neither of us slides down into despair so far that it takes an almost heroic effort to bring us back."

Olivia swallowed hard. "You're the best friend I could ever ask for, Remus."

He smiled, and blew her a kiss. "I hope you still think that after you've tasted my cooking. And I warn you, I _am_ going to insist that we eat today. Yesterday was horrible, so we're excused. But we can't go two days in a row without eating."

"All right," Olivia agreed, taking the plate that Remus offered her. "I'll just keep quiet if I don't like it."

Remus smiled. "That's my girl."

* * *

Remus again went home for a shower and change of clothes after breakfast. He was beginning to think that he should just keep an overnight bag at Olivia's flat. It would be easier than this constant commuting between their two houses. But even as the thought went through his head, he banished it. This was not a permanent arrangement; it was only a method of comfort until the worst of the heartbreak was past.

Showered and dressed in clean clothes, Remus wandered into his kitchen, trying to remember if he had any food that was on the verge of spoiling. If he did, he should take it to Olivia's to use for lunch or dinner. As he walked into the small room, he noticed a new envelope sitting on the table. Frowning slightly, he stepped forward to pick it up.

The envelope bore his name in purple letters. He was sure that it had not been there when he had arrived home. Tearing it open, he pulled out the letter inside. His stomach turned to stone as he recognized the delicate, ornate script of Mrs. Pettigrew on the page. He lowered himself into a chair and forced himself to read the short missive.

"_Dear Remus,_

"_Firstly, please let me tell you how terribly sorry I am about all that's happened. I've lost my Peter, but I know that you and your friends are suffering just as much as I am. I'd like for you to be with me when we bid farewell to Peter. His body was never recovered from the explosion, but they were able to find a finger that has been identified as his. I'm going to hold a short service this evening to honor his memory. I'd like you to come to my house at seven for the memorial. I know this is short notice, but the Minister of Magic wants to be there, and this is the only time that she could come. _

"_Please do try to come, Remus. It would have meant so much to Peter, and it will mean so much to me if you can come. He always said that you were one of the best friends he had ever had, I know that he would be happy to know that you had come to say goodbye._

"_I hope to see you this evening. _

"_Sincerely,_

"_Eugenia Pettigrew"_

Remus had just finished reading the letter when a pop sounded. He looked up to see Olivia standing in his kitchen.

"Did you get the letter from Peter's mum?" she asked.

"I just read it," he replied.

She nodded. "So, seven, then?"

"Seven it is," Remus sighed. He looked out the window for a moment, then looked back at his friend. "I really, really, really don't want to do this, Olivia."

"I know," she replied. "Neither do I. But we have to. We have to be there for Peter."

Remus nodded. "Seven."

The fireplace burst to life, and Dana's head appeared in the flames. "There you are!"

"Dana," Remus said, moving forward to kneel down in front of the fireplace. "Did you get the letter from Mrs. Pettigrew?"

"Yes," Dana replied. "Are you both going?"

"Yes," Olivia said, joining Remus at the hearth. "Can you make it?"

Dana nodded. "I've arranged with my supervisors to have the next two weeks off. They even said that I can take more time if I need too." She smiled sadly. "Apparently, being friends with the parents of Harry Potter can win some impressive privileges."

"Work," Olivia murmured. "Oh, God, I haven't been to work in two days! Moody's going to think that I've quit!"

"I wouldn't worry about it," Dana replied. "Like I said, 'friend of Harry Potter and his parents' goes a long way to convincing your superiors that you deserve all the time off that you need."

Olivia shook her head. "This is _Moody_ we're talking about here. He doesn't think the way normal people do. I have to go talk to him. But you're coming tonight, right?"

"Yeah," Dana replied. "Should we meet somewhere first?"

"Come here," Remus offered. "Say six thirty?"

Dana nodded. "All right, then. I'll see you tonight."

She disappeared with a pop, and the green flames died down. Olivia turned to Remus.

"I have to go to work," she said. "I need to make sure that I have everything straightened out with Moody."

"Go," Remus replied with a nod. "I'll see you tonight."

Olivia kissed his cheek. "Thanks, Remus. See you then."

With a pop, she Disapparated.

* * *

An unnatural hush shrouded the Auror department at the Ministry. Olivia walked through the halls, trying to make as little noise as possible, wondering what had happened. She thought back to the horrible day when James and Lily had died, and the jubilant celebration when the Aurors had learned that Voldemort had disappeared. What could have happened to turn their mood so dismal? And where had everyone gone? Each hall she walked down showed closed office doors. Were the Aurors working behind them, or had they all been called into the field? A door to her right opened, and a head popped out.

"Livie? What are you doing here?"

"John," Olivia smiled. "Thank goodness. I was starting to think that the entire staff was gone. Why is it so quiet here?"

John's face was ashen as he looked at her. "You haven't heard?"

"Heard what?"

"About Frank Longbottom?"

"What about him?"

"Oh, man." John grabbed her hand, and pulled her into his office. "Liv . . . there's no easy way to say this . . ."

"Just tell me, John," Olivia said wearily. "After all that I've been through, a little more bad news won't hurt."

John drew a deep breath. "Frank and Alice were attacked by Death Eaters last night."

"What?" Olivia exclaimed. "But how is that possible? Voldemort is gone!"

John winced at the sound of the name. "Yes, I know that, love, but apparently these Death Eaters were trying to find him. They thought, for some reason, that the Longbottoms would know where to find him."

"Oh, no," Olivia moaned. "Did they kill them?"

"No," John said slowly, "no, it's far worse than that. They used the Cruciatus on them as a form of torture. I think they had planned to torture them until they gave the information that they wanted."

"But they didn't have that information," Olivia said fearfully.

"Exactly," John sighed. "They tortured them too long, Livie."

"What happened?"

"They are both in St. Mungo's right now," he said slowly. "The Healers are trying to reverse the damage, but they don't think they're going to be able to. The Longbottoms are – well, they've lost their minds. They're insane."

"Oh, God!" Olivia exclaimed, clapping her hands over her mouth. "How is this possible?"

"I know," John said, pulling her close against him. "I know."

Olivia clung to him for a moment, trying to regain her composure. "Is that why this place seems deserted?"

"Yes," John replied. "Everyone's pretty subdued. Moody's even been quiet today."

"Moody . . . I came to talk to him about when I should return to work."

"Oh, man, Liv, I'm sorry," John said, clapping his hand to his forehead. "I was supposed to tell you. With everything that's happened, I totally forgot. Moody said to take as long as you need to get yourself together." He smiled slightly. "Actually, he followed it up by saying that an Auror who isn't completely focused on the job is a waste of space on his schedule, and he doesn't want to see you again until you're ready to devote yourself to your work like you did before."

Olivia smiled in spite of herself. "That sounds like Moody."

"Yeah," John said sadly. "Listen, are you okay? I talked to Mum and Dad, and they said that you were a bit off yesterday."

"You should know better than to listen to Mum and Dad where my feelings are concerned," Olivia said stiffly. Despite her conversation with Remus and the fact that she had made up with her parents, she knew that she would never completely forgive them for all that they had said against Sirius – particularly now that they were right.

"They're worried about you, Livie," John said, watching her closely. "You've been through a lot in the past couple days. No one should have to deal with all that's happened to you." He tipped her chin up so that he could look into her eyes. "I'm worried about you, too."

"Well, don't worry about me too much," she replied. "I'm not fine now, but I will be."

"If you need to talk, I'll always be here for you."

"I know, John. But, really, I have my friends, and I know . . . I know we'll make it out of this okay as long as we're there for one another."

Her brother looked at her for a long moment, then nodded. "Okay. But just remember that I am here for you, and that I care about you."

"I know you do."

"And, Olivia, Mum and Dad care, too. They really are worried about you. I know they were never excited about the prospect of having Sirius as their son-in-law, but they never wanted something like this to happen, either."

As they had so many times in the past few days, tears filled her eyes again. "John, I really don't want to talk about this right now. Can you just tell Moody that I was here and that I'll let him know when I'm ready to come back to work?"

"All right," John said, his eyes full of concern. "You take care of yourself, all right? Go home and get some rest."

"I will. I promise."

"Good girl." He folded her into his arms again. "I love you, little sister."

"I love you, too."

* * *

Remus, Olivia, and Dana went to Mrs. Pettigrew's house together that evening, all clad in dark, somber dress robes. None of them wanted to go; it was almost an impossible task to bid farewell to yet another of their friends. Peter's memorial service also served as a reminder of the horrible plans they had begun that afternoon for the funeral for Lily and James.

They Apparated down the road from Mrs. Pettigrew's house, wanting to delay the moment when they would have to see her. They walked slowly up the road. Remus walked between the two girls, wondering if they were drawing strength from his presence as much as he was from theirs.

They finally arrived at the Pettigrew house, where the backyard had been arranged for the memorial. Rows of chairs faced the setting sun. A picture of Peter in happier times stood in front of them, next to a small box. Other pictures of Peter with his friends and family lined the sides of the yard. Several wizards were already there, all walking around to look at the pictures and talking quietly.

"Oh, you came," Mrs. Pettigrew said as she came forward to greet them. "I'm so glad. It's so good to see Peter's friends here."

"Of course we came," Remus said softly, hugging her. "We had to be here for Peter."

"Of course," she said, moving from him to hug the girls. "You'll have to look at the pictures – there are quite a few with you all in them."

"Thanks, Mrs. Pettigrew," Dana said softly. "We'll go look now."

Several more people came in, and she stepped away to greet them. Remus turned to the girls.

"Shall we go look at these pictures, then?"

"Yes, we might as well," Olivia agreed.

They walked around slowly, looking at all the snapshots. There were many of Peter as a baby and a small child, looking cheerful. Remus couldn't help but note that although many of the pictures featured Peter with his mother, none showed him with his father.

"Where's his dad?" Dana whispered as they walked. "He's not in any of these pictures."

"Maybe he was the family photographer," Olivia shrugged.

After all that he had heard about Mr. Pettigrew, Remus highly doubted that that was the reason for his absence in the photos, but chose not to comment. Olivia had continued on down the row, and turned back to her friends with a sad smile.

"Look, Remus, here's one of you and Peter."

"That's from our first year," Remus said as he and Dana joined Olivia in front of the picture. "James took it – I remember. It was at the end of the year, right after we got our exam marks. See that paper in Peter's hand? That's his passing Defense exam. I helped him study, so James said that we should take a picture to show what teamwork can do. There should be one of him and James with his Transfiguration exam – yeah, there it is. And we took one of him and Sirius . . ." He trailed off. "Well – that one isn't here."

"She's not going to display pictures of his murderer," Olivia said a bit harshly. "Come on, let's keep going."

They made their way around the pictures, finally stopping in front of the largest one next to the box. Peter grinned at them from the picture, winking as they stepped closer.

"It's a good picture," Dana said, swallowing hard. "It really looks just like him."

"Yeah," Remus agreed hoarsely. He looked down, and noticed what was beneath the picture.

Resting on a cushion of red velvet lay Peter's finger. Revulsion filling him, Remus clamped his lips together tightly, fearing that he was going to be sick, and stepped away. Olivia and Dana looked at him in confusion, then looked down. They quickly followed Remus, both a little green.

"Shall we find seats?" Dana suggested.

"Yeah," Remus said, swallowing. "Yeah, let's sit down."

They had barely managed to sit down when the service began. Looking around, they saw that Dumbledore was there, along with many of their professors from Hogwarts. Remus noted that not many of their classmates had come. He had always assumed that Peter had enjoyed the reflected popularity that came with being friends with James Potter and Sirius Black. Apparently, that popularity had died along with James, or perhaps even so long ago as when they had graduated from Hogwarts. The idea of so few people caring that Peter had died brought fresh tears to Remus's eyes.

Remus was dimly surprised to see that the first person to step to the front of the group was none other than the Minister of Magic, Helena Powell. She smiled sadly at them for a moment before beginning to speak.

"We have all come together today to remember Peter Pettigrew," she said slowly. "He lived his life as a devoted son and a good friend who, until his death, tried to help those he counted among his friends. I am certain that by this time, all of you know how he died. He gave his life to avenge the deaths of his friends. His actions were nothing short of heroic, and he will always be remembered as a hero."

Olivia gave a dry sob and shook her head as though telling herself not to cry. Remus reached out for her hand. She grasped his hand firmly, not daring to look at him. She knew that if she looked into his teary eyes, she would lose control and start to cry again.

"I know that nothing that I or anyone else can do will ever bring Peter back. I know that he will never be able to spend an afternoon with his mother again. But I hope that what I have to offer will be some small comfort. Mrs. Pettigrew, if you would please step forward."

Mrs. Pettigrew walked slowly to join the Minister, clutching a black lace handkerchief in her hand. Minister Powell smiled sadly at her.

"Mrs. Pettigrew, on behalf of the Ministry of Magic, I would like to present you, in your son's name, with the Order of Merlin, First Class, in honor of Peter's heroic actions in the face of danger and imminent death. His sacrifice will not be forgotten, nor will it be denied the honor it deserves."

Sobbing quietly, Mrs. Pettigrew accepted the award. Minister Powell reached out to shake her hand, but changed her mind, and instead pulled her into a comforting embrace.

Remus swallowed again, and reached his other hand out to Dana. She took it and looked up at him, her face streaked with tears.

"He would be so happy, wouldn't he?" she whispered. "He did that all by himself."

"Yes," Remus sighed. "He'd say that he finally managed to make his father proud."

He looked at the setting sun, thinking that it was a perfect symbol of the past few days. Together with his friends, they had been as happy and as bright as the blazing sun. But during the past few days, true colors had been shown, and now the bright light that had lit their world for so long was burning out.

* * *

"Mummy, please let me go outside and play!"

"Fine, go out!" Molly Weasley said crossly, waving her hand toward the open back door. "But when I call you in for bed in fifteen minutes, you'd better not complain!"

"No, I won't!" Percy said cheerfully. He bolted out the door before his mother had a chance to change her mind.

Molly watched him go, then turned around at the sound of a crash. "Wait – what are you – _Fred, George, no_!"

She ran off to rescue her three-year-old twins from the books that were shooting across the room at them. They both laughed as the heavy tomes landed all around them, never touching them. Molly waved her wand to put the books away, and brushed her hair back from her face.

"Oh, _what_ was I thinking to want another?" she sighed, running her hands over her rounded abdomen. She looked at the clock, then went back to the window, where she could see the five-year-old Percy poking around in the garden. "Percy, ten minutes!"

"Okay," Percy called back. He continued his exploration of the garden, trying to find gnomes. He thought they might make fun pets. He was sure that his dad would agree – but he'd have to work to convince his mum.

As he turned leaves over, he noticed something furry hiding. He sat down in the dirt, bending plants to get a better look.

"Percy! Five minutes!"

"Okay, Mum!" he yelled before moving another plant out of his way.

The small animal jerked as though trying to jump out of sight. But Percy had become quite determined to discover exactly what had found its way into his garden, and persistently followed it.

"Hello," he said when he had finally uncovered the rat. It looked up at him with a frightened expression. "You don't have to be scared," he said. "I won't hurt you."

He picked the small animal up, and studied it critically. It looked healthy enough, except for its front paw, which was clearly wounded.

"What happened to you?" he asked. "How did you get hurt?"

The rat remained silent in his hands, still looking terrified. Percy patted his head.

"I'll take care of you," he said. "I'll bet my mum can fix your paw. She's good at making people better."

"Percy! Let's go! It's time to get ready for bed!"

"That's her," Percy informed his new friend. "Come on, we'd better get inside."

"Good," Molly said as Percy trooped inside a moment later. "Go on upstairs and wash up for bed. I'll be up in a minute to tuck you in."

"Mummy, look what I found!" Percy said, ignoring her orders.

"What, dear?" she asked distractedly.

"Look!" Percy said again, holding out the rat.

"Gracious, Percy!" she exclaimed, jumping back. "What are you doing with that? You shouldn't have dirty things like that in the house!"

"He's not dirty!" Percy said indignantly. "I think he's cute. And he's hurt, Mum. I can't just leave him outside if he's hurt."

"He's hurt?" she said, bending down to look at the animal critically. "What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know, but his paw looks just awful. Look, it's all bloody." Percy looked down at the rat, then up at his mother. "Can I keep him, Mummy? Please? I'll take really good care of him, and make sure he heals right. Please?"

Molly sighed. "If your father says it's all right, then it's all right with me. Go ask him."

"Thanks, Mum!" Percy exclaimed, skipping off to find his father. He knew that his dad would grant permission.

"Looks like your mine now," he said happily to the rat. "I'll have to think up a good name for you. I promise I'll take good care of you. You're going to love living here."

* * *

Remus dressed in his best dress robes with slow, deliberate motions. He looked at himself in the mirror that hung in his bedroom and sighed.

"It's only a few hours," he whispered as he brushed his hair into place. "Only a few hours, and then it will be over. They will be laid to rest."

He bit his lips, and turned from the mirror. Yes, in a few hours' time, the funeral would be over. But where would that leave him and all the others who were left aching and broken but James and Lily's sudden, violent departures from their lives? How could they pick up the pieces of their shattered hearts and move on?

A pop sounded in his living room.

"Remus? Are you here?"

"Right here, Liv," he replied, walking out of his bedroom to meet her. He smiled sadly as he looked at her. "You look lovely."

"Thanks," she whispered. "So do you."

"Thank you."

Olivia looked away for a moment, then turned back to him. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah," Remus replied. "Let's go."

They both Disapparated, reappearing in Godric's Hollow. They had elected to have the funeral there, near the last home that James and Lily had known. The church they had chosen for the ceremony was still empty when they arrived. Floral arrangements sent by the Potters' friends adorned the simple building. Olivia looked around for a moment, her breath catching in her throat.

"Remus, I don't know if I can do this."

"You can," he said. He put his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look him in the eye. "You listen to me, Olivia. It's only a few hours, and then all this will be over."

"It's never going to be over," she whispered.

"Don't," he said hoarsely. "Don't, Olivia. I . . . I can't do this without you. Please, please don't make it harder than it already is. Please, be strong enough to be here with me."

She looked into his eyes for a moment, then threw her arms around him. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'll stay, I'll be here for you . . . I won't leave you, Remus, I promise."

"Thank you," he whispered, burying his face in her hair.

"Remus? Olivia?"

They both looked up to see Dana standing in the doorway, holding her daughter in her arms. Without saying a word, they both stepped forward to hug her. Remus took the baby while Olivia and Dana clung to one another. He looked at them for a moment, then looked down at the little girl in his arms.

"Hello, Miss Laura," he said. "You look quite lovely today."

She looked up at him with her mother's dark eyes. After regarding him solemnly for a moment, she smiled. Remus smiled back at her and tickled her, making her giggle.

"It's been awhile since the last time we saw one another," he said to the baby. "Do you remember me?"

"Of course she remembers Uncle Remus," Dana said as she released Olivia. "Come here, Remus. Give my baby to Olivia so you can give me a hug."

Remus complied, hugging her close. Dana pulled back and looked up at him.

"You're going to be all right, you know," she said. "We all are."

"Oh, Dana, I really hope so."

"I know so," she said simply. "After all we've lived through, Remus, I know we can live through this, too." She smiled slightly. "We're stronger than we look."

He leaned down to kiss her forehead. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Others began to arrive, all pausing to offer their condolences to the three friends who had lost so much in one night. When the professors came in, led by Dumbledore, Remus, Olivia and Dana all had to fight back their tears. They knew that they were there to mourn James as their colleague, but also to mourn both James and Lily as their students and friends. Hagrid came in at the end of the group, and made his way over to Remus, Olivia and Dana last.

"It's going to be all right," he said, tears sliding silently from his eyes. "They gave their lives to keep Harry safe, and you know that's all they ever cared about. We know that they died knowing that Harry would be safe, and that's enough to make sure they'll rest in peace. And, thanks to Dumbledore, we all know that Harry always will be safe."

"But at what cost?" Remus asked bitterly. "He's not going to have a happy life with Petunia."

"Ah, Remus, you're being too hard on her," Hagrid replied. "I know she's a Muggle, but not all Muggles are bad."

"This one is," Olivia said harshly. "She's never going to treat Harry the way he should be treated."

"He'll be okay," Hagrid said bracingly. "Dumbledore will make sure of it."

"That I will," Dumbledore said as he joined them. "You all know that Harry will never be far from my mind. He will have far more people looking out for his well-being during the next few years than most children do in a lifetime. He will be fine."

"Fine?" Olivia repeated. "Even if he's living with that horrible woman?"

"Petunia is not horrible, Olivia, she is frightened of something she does not understand," Dumbledore said softly. "And even if Harry is not fine, he will be alive and safe."

Soft organ music filled the room, and Dumbledore nodded to them.

"I think we should take our seats."

Remus, Olivia and Dana were shown to a pew in the front of the church. After all that had happened, they were the only family that James and Lily had left.

The service was short, but poignant. The readings spoke of the hope offered by the new life James and Lily had entered into. The priest gave a short sermon speaking to those same ideals, then called Dumbledore to the pulpit.

The headmaster walked up to the front of the church and took the priest's place at the pulpit. He looked at all of them for a moment, reminding Remus of the way he began each school year at Hogwarts. However, this time the smile was missing. The sparkle was gone from his eyes. The joy at addressing those around him simply was not there.

"My friends," he said, opening his arms to include them all, "we have come together for the most awful of reasons today. We are here to bid farewell to James and Lily Potter, who were two of the brightest, most talented people I have ever had the pleasure to know. Their deaths are a horrible result of the war that has ravaged our world for so many years, and are a reminder to us all that death does not discriminate. It does not select only those who are too old to continue on or those who are too ill to face another day. It attacks those who are very young, who stand at the threshold of their lives. It steals life from those who were barely given a chance to live.

"But James and Lily would not want to be remembered for the tragic way that they died. They would want to be remembered for the vibrant way that they lived. They would want to be remembered as the professor and the journalist who used their gifts to spread their love and wisdom to those around them. They would want to be remembered as the children who adored their parents, as the couple whose wedding melded wizard and Muggle traditions, as the friends whose loyalty and trust in those they held dear astounded even me. They would want to be remembered as the parents who found out about their pregnancy when they and many others thought they were too young to raise a child, but who fell in love with their son before he took his first breath. They would want us to think of them as the parents who loved and adored their child to the point of sacrificing their own lives so that he would have a chance to live his."

He paused, looking around at all of them again. "James and Lily Potter touched the lives of everyone seated in this room. They made all of our lives better just by being in them. Their legacy lives on in Harry, yes, but it also lives on in all of us. Honor James and Lily in all that you do. Remember how they defied the odd so many times to find such joy in their lives. Use your lives, as they used theirs, to work for _good_, both in the small world of your own life and that of your family, but also in the large world around us. For in doing that, in striving to be good friends, good parents, and good people, we allow James and Lily's light to shine through us. And in doing that, we ensure that they will never be forgotten, and that their legacy will always be allowed to live on."

Olivia and Dana both dissolved into tears as Dumbledore ended his speech. Remus put arms around both of them, letting them lean against him. He needed to feel the physical contact with them as much as they needed the comforting embrace.

When the service had ended, they went to the cemetery for the burial. The priest offered a prayer, and the mourners began to scatter, returning to the warmth of the hall for lunch. Remus, Olivia and Dana stayed to watch the caskets being lowered into the ground. Remus bent down, and picked up some of the loose dirt that would be thrown down to cover their friends' bodies.

"Here, girls," he said, dividing it among the three of them.

Olivia gasped quietly, and crushed the soil in her hands. Dana raised tear-filled eyes to meet Remus's.

"Shall we do it together?"

"Yes, let's," Remus whispered.

All three of them moved as one to toss the earth first on top of Lily's lowering casket, then onto James's. Unable to watch the caskets continued progress into the graves, both Olivia and Dana turned to leave. Remus stayed to the bitter end, watching as the caskets made their slow progress into the ground.

_How many more times am I going to have to do this_? How could a person reach the age of twenty-two and be able to say that he had already buried his wife and five of his best friends? There had to be some sense in all the confusion, some hope in all the despair . . . But he just wasn't ready to look for it. Not yet.

* * *

When Remus joined the other mourners in the hall for lunch, Olivia and Dana had already sat down. They were alone for the moment, but he was sure that the brief reprieve would be over soon. He was right; no sooner had he sat down than Andromeda Tonks joined them.

"I just want to tell you all how sorry I am," she said, hugging them each in turn. "I feel partially responsible for all of this."

"Andromeda, don't even think it," Olivia said as she hugged her. "There is no way that this is your fault."

Andromeda laughed harshly. "All those years, I thought that Sirius was like me. For all those years, we banded together, thinking that we were the two sane ones in our family. The Black family black sheep, we used to call ourselves. We made it through because we had each other – it was like having an ally. But now . . . now . . ." She sighed. "I would do anything to change this. Anything. I keep trying to remember if there was something that should have made me think . . . something I missed . . ."

"If there was something there, we all missed it," Remus said, clasping her hands tightly. "But we can't go back now. We just have to keep looking ahead. I know we'll make it. We'll _all_ make it."

She nodded. "I know . . . I think this has been really hard on Nymphadora."

"Is she here?" Dana asked.

"No, I wouldn't let her come. She doesn't need to see things like this, not at her age." She smiled sadly. "She remembers Sirius the same way that I do – the laughing, teasing, fun cousin. The 'normal' member of my family. She can't understand – she can't believe that he would ever do anything so horrible." She paused and bit her lips. "I suppose none of us can. It's just easier for us adults to accept the truth."

"I don't know about that," Olivia said shakily.

Andromeda looked at her for a moment, then pulled her into a tight embrace. "I was looking forward to welcoming you into our family so much," she said. "You are such a wonderful person, and you were so good for Sirius. The two of you – I was sure you would make it."

Olivia pulled back, wiping her eyes. "I guess it wasn't meant to be."

"No," Andromeda sighed. "I suppose not. But I still consider you family, Olivia. If there's anything you need . . . if there's anything I can do . . ."

"Thanks, Andromeda," Olivia said. "I'll come and visit you and Ted soon."

"We'd like that," she replied. "So would Nymphadora."

She smiled sadly at them all one last time, then rose to leave. Once she was gone, Dana took a deep breath.

"Can I make a suggestion?" she asked.

"Of course," Olivia said.

"I'd like both of you to come home with me for a little while."

"To France?" Remus asked.

"Yes," Dana said. "I think you both need to get away for awhile, and I think we should all be together right now. Olivia, you said you have some time off. Why not?"

Remus looked at Olivia. "What do you say? Shall we go to France for a bit?"

"I'm going to need to brush up on my French," Olivia said slowly.

"Don't worry," Dana smiled. "My mum has picked up more than enough for all of us. What do you say? Will you come?"

Remus and Olivia looked at one another for a moment, then nodded.

"Let's go to France," Remus said.

"Fantastic!" Dana beamed. "You'll see. This is going to be just what we all need."

* * *

Dana was right. The two weeks in France proved to be therapeutic for all of them. While they knew at the end of their time together that they were not yet whole, they were on the path to becoming whole again. At the end of two weeks, their smiles came easier and their laughter wasn't forced.

Looking back, Remus always thought of it as the most relaxing time of his life, staying with his two best friends in the gorgeous part of southern France that Dana called home. Mrs. Morgan mothered them and Laura provided them with hours of entertainment. It was while watching her antics that Olivia laughed for the first time since the terrible night that James and Lily had died. It had shocked her when it happened – her eyes had grown wide and she had clapped her hand over her mouth - but she couldn't deny that it felt good to be able to laugh again.

The night before they were scheduled to leave, Remus was alone in his room, packing for the return journey. He heard a hesitant knock on his door, and lifted his head from his suitcase.

"Come in," he called.

The door opened slowly, and Olivia walked in. She closed the door behind her, and took her time turning to face Remus.

"Oh, no," he said, instantly tensing. "What's wrong?"

"What makes you say that?" she asked, turning around fully at last.

"You're hesitating," he said. "You never hesitate unless something's wrong. What's happened now?"

She drew a deep breath. "Remus, there's something I need to tell you."

"All right," he said, sitting down on his bed. "Sit down a minute."

She sat down next to him, and took his hand in hers. "These past few weeks have been wonderful, haven't they?"

"Yes," he said slowly, wondering where she was going with this.

"Remus, I – I really feel at home here."

"Mrs. Morgan has gone out of her way to make us feel welcome, hasn't she?" he smiled.

"No – well, yes, she's been wonderful, but that's not what I meant."

"What did you mean, then?" he asked, cold dread filling him as he realized what she was planning to say.

"It's been really good for me to be away from home," she said. "I finally understand why Dana wanted to come so far away after Aidan died. Sometimes you just need to be somewhere completely new, somewhere where nothing can remind you of all that you've lost. Sometimes you just need to go away to be able to go on."

"Olivia, what are you trying to tell me?" Remus asked with forced calm.

"Remus, I'm going to go home with you tomorrow as planned," she said slowly. "But when I go back to work, I'm going to ask Moody if I can transfer to England's French Auror division. I know we have Aurors who do international work, and I know that there's an opening in the French office. I want to see if he'll let me take it."

"You want to stay here permanently?" Remus asked, still making himself stay calm.

"Yes," she whispered. "Oh, Remus, please don't hate me. Please, I can't bear it if you hate me."

"I could never hate you," he said softly. "Never. Don't even think that. I just – I'm just going to need some time to get used to it. When do you think you'll move here?"

"I'm going to tell Moody that I'll go as soon as possible," she replied. "Dana said that I can stay with her until I find a place, and then I'll be on my own."

"Dana already knows?"

"Yeah, I wanted to talk to her about it, to see if she thought it was a good idea. And, Remus, I honestly think this is the only way I'm ever going to be able to go on with my life. If I don't leave, I'm going to see my parents all the time and know that they're thinking that I'm better off without Sirius. I'm going to go into my office every day and look at Sirius's empty desk, remembering all that he did. I'm going to go home every night and look at Lily's empty bedroom and think of how she died. I know that I could move to a new flat, but I can't leave my job. It's all I know, and it's what I love. I need to be an Auror, and, if I come here, I can still do that without constantly being reminded of Sirius."

"If it's what you need to do, then you should do it," Remus said, knowing how much the words were costing him. "I'm just going to miss you so much." His voice broke, and he looked away from her.

"I'm going to miss you, too," she said, putting her arms around him. "Do you know how hard it was for me to come here and tell you this? I was more scared to tell you than I was to tell my family, Remus."

He smiled slightly, and kissed her forehead. "We _are_ family, Liv. We always will be. The miles won't change that."

"No, they won't," she said. "We'll still see each other all the time. I know you'll be here all the time to see Laura."

"Of course," Remus smiled. "I don't know if I'll have time to see you and Dana while I'm with Laura, though."

Olivia laughed, then sobered. "Why don't you stay, too, Remus? What is there for you in England? You could stay with Dana and I, and you and I can help her raise Laura."

Remus shook his head sadly. "England is home," he said simply. "As much as you need to be away, I need to be there. I need to be close to them – all of them – and I have to be there to do that." He paused, and looked out the window. "I want to be close to Harry," he said softly.

She sighed, and laid her head on his shoulder. He put his arms around her to draw her close.

"You'll take care of yourself, won't you?" she said softly.

"Of course," he replied. "Will you?"

"How could I not? I'll be with Dana and her mother. But you'll just be with you."

"You've forgotten that I'll be with my own mother," he smiled. "She certainly checks up on me."

"I suppose so."

"Actually, I don't think that I'm just going to sit at home."

Olivia shifted so that she could look up at him. "What are you going to do?"

"I want to keep studying." He smiled slightly. "It is what I excel at – reading, taking notes, and writing papers and exams."

"Where are you going to study?"

"I'm not sure yet," he said honestly. "That's the part I still have to work out, but, Liv, I'm going to make it happen."

"What are you going to study?"

"The Dark Arts," he replied simply.

"Remus!" she gasped, jumping back to look at him. "What do you mean?"

"I'm sorry!" he said quickly. "I didn't mean it like that! I'm going to study them as a method of learning _defense_! I'm not planning to start another Dark Rising!"

Olivia laughed with relief. "You really scared me for a minute there."

"I'm sorry," he said again. "I just meant that I want to learn everything I can about the Dark Arts, and the best methods of defense against them. I'm talking everything, Liv: curses, rituals, dark creatures, dark objects, history, the works. I want to know everything I can, so that when Voldemort returns, I'll be ready to fight against him."

"Where will you have to go to do all that?" she asked in awe.

"I think I can get most of it right in England," he said. "I may have to travel a bit, but that's all right. I'd like to see more of the world. I've really liked learning about France. But I don't want to move away permanently. I want to know that I'll be going home to England after a few weeks or months away."

She nodded. "You can do it, Remus, I know you can."

He smiled. "I appreciate your vote of confidence."

"I'm serious," she said. "You are the type of person who can do anything he puts his mind to, and you've certainly put your mind to this."

"Not just my mind," he said softly, shaking his head, "my heart is in this one hundred percent, as well."

She looked at him quizzically.

"I'm not just doing this for me," he clarified. "I'm doing it for Harry, too."

"For Harry?"

"If he's anything like his dad, he's going to grow up wanting revenge against the thing that took his parents from him. When Voldemort comes back like Dumbledore says he will, Harry's going to want to fight him. I want to learn all that I can about the Dark Arts so that I can help Harry learn to defend himself against them."

"You're planning to be a part of Harry's life?"

"If I can be, that would be great, but even if I can't be, I'd like to think that he'll be able to benefit from my knowledge. Maybe I'll help a teacher that he has, or maybe I'll even write a book that he'll pick up. One way or another, I want to be able to help him. Since I can't have him with me, this is the only way I can think of to do that."

"It's tough to think of James and Lily's son growing up without us, isn't it?"

"Yes," Remus replied. "But I still want to make a difference in his life, if I can."

"You will," Olivia said. "You make a difference if the lives of everyone who knows you, Remus."

"Flattery will get you nowhere," Remus answered lightly.

"Don't brush me off," she said seriously. "You're a wonderful person, Remus, and you _do_ make a difference. If you hadn't been there for me those first few days after . . . I don't know what I would have done, but I can promise you that it wouldn't have been pretty. You're the one who kept me going, and I'm never going to forget that. I'll always love you for it."

"And I'll always love _you_ for the help you gave me then," he replied. "Without you and Dana, I don't know where I'd be right now. Your support has meant the world to me."

A knock sounded on the door, and Dana pushed it open.

"Oh, you're both here," she said. She looked at Olivia quizzically. "Have you . . . ?"

"She's told me," Remus said. He motioned for Dana to join them on the bed. "I'm okay with it."

"Are you, really?"

"I really am," he smiled. "I know we're always going to be friends, regardless of where we live."

"He's right," Olivia said. "We'll always be there for one another."

"We've supported each other through the most horrific thing any of us could have ever imagined, and we've come out stronger, because we've been together," Remus said.

Dana hugged him. "I was afraid you'd think I was stealing Olivia away from you."

He laughed. "You are. But I'll forgive you. I know that you'll both always be with me in spirit, no matter where we all are."

"Of course we will," Olivia smiled, taking his hand.

Remus reached down on his other side, and took Dana's hand. Holding both of their hands firmly in his, he smiled at them.

"We'll always be there for one another," he said. "No matter what, we stick together."

_Fin_


End file.
